Oh.
Hi, Aluna.
I got this from your...
If you ever step foot into my dressing room again,
I will rip you apart, just like I've done to Sherry.
Sensational one.
If brains were but better, you couldn't blow your nose.
As I have said before, I will say again.
Using mere words to describe me is like using a screwdriver to cut roast beef.
I am your unforeseen contingency.
I am the vandal on your mind, on your heart, your body, and your soul.
And when you and I step foot into the square circle, one on one,
I, Lula Machon, will leave you lying like the pig you are
and prove who the queen of the ring really is.
Welcome to WWF Superstars.
Ladies and gentlemen, he is accompanied by Paul Bearer.
Let's welcome The Undertaker.
Perhaps the most awesome force in the world wrestling federation today.
The man in black.
He can take you all the way down.
Way down, about six feet under, King.
Awesome to you, maybe.
See the way he's carrying that urn?
That reminds me of the way The Undertaker was carried out of WrestleMania.
Is that a barrier to real?
All right, Mr. Bearer, it has been proven time and time again
that The Undertaker is literally unstoppable.
Oh, yes.
Not only is My Undertaker unstoppable,
he is the most powerful entity in the World Wrestling Federation.
In fact, he is the most powerful entity that walks the face of the Earth.
And Giant Gonzales, unfortunately, he's headed directly for you.
Giant Gonzales,
I've grown tired of your futile attempts at trying to destroy what cannot be destroyed.
Not only will I draw power from the souls of the deceased,
I will draw power from the souls of the living.
Gonzales, I've met you in your element.
Now you must meet me in mine.
Gonzales, you must enter the world at the dark side.
The dark side where only The Undertaker survives.
The dark side where you, Gonzales, will be made to suffer.
Gonzales, rest in peace.
Paula Merchant, Paul Bearer leading The Undertaker into a head-on collision with the 8-foot Giant Gonzales.
Hey, I'm Bart, and this here is Billy.
You know, ever since we signed with the WWF, all we've been hearing about is trouble.
Trouble from the likes of the Head Shrinkers, Money Incorporated, and the Beverly Brothers.
And you know, there's nothing like a little scrap to get a man's attention.
I'm the Bart figure, and we're going to go to WWF and look for a little tag-team excitement.
And when the smoke clears, they'll go down.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Take a look.
Are we going to see double vision, gentlemen?
Is there going to be an illusion in this match or not?
Expect the unexpected.
This is the big one.
Qualifying round for the King of the Ring Tournament.
Dirty King Lawler eats your heart out.
I just want to know right off the bat, what are you trying to imply, Vince McMahon?
What are you trying to imply?
It seems to me that, again, if you call yourself the King of the Ring, then surely you have the alternative.
You have to enter the King of the Ring Tournament.
No, no, no, that's not what I'm talking about.
You're talking about double vision.
Yes, that's what you're trying to imply.
Talking about the illusion right off the bat.
I see.
Well, we all saw what happened in WrestleMania.
Bobby Eden claimed that David Copperfield pulled the fast one, but there really was only one doing.
Clearly, we all saw two.
And his opponent weighed 254 pounds.
Here is Mr. Perfect.
Well, there's only one Mr. Perfect, and he's coming down that aisle right now.
Go get him, Mr. Perfect.
Beat Doink.
What a matchup.
Everyone wanting to be the King of the Ring.
There's only one way to get there, folks, and that's to earn it.
And Mr. Perfect certainly doesn't mind having his medal tested.
And I guess for that matter, neither does Doink.
Wait a minute.
There's Doink coming in from behind.
Oh, yeah.
Doink was hiding down by the steps.
Perfect never saw him.
And look out.
Oh, no.
What a bad start for Mr. Perfect.
Speaking of testing medal.
Look at this.
Down.
Test it again.
Into the medal steps again.
I mean, desperate individuals will do desperate things, but this is ridiculous.
These officials must maintain more authority in a matchup than this.
What a chop.
You know, at one time, Vince McMahon, I would have thought this would have been a great matchup
back when one of the participants was Perfect.
But now that he's just Mr. Mediocre, this will probably only last a few seconds.
Doink messing with the knee.
That's very well.
Could change the tide.
Yes.
Perfect to his feet now.
Perfect going to work himself on the left leg.
Boy, I'm glad that happened.
Unfortunately, this man's got up to a bad start for Mr. Perfect, but look at him go now.
Perfect.
Wanting to work on the left wheel now of Doink.
Oh, look at this.
And down.
Oh, that's an illegal use of the ropes.
Oh, not too bad, huh?
Well, yes, it is.
What do you think Doink just did a moment ago?
What?
You saw what he did.
The bell didn't even rock.
Oh, what a chop.
Oh, what a turn right to the outside.
That was a big league chop right there.
And you can very well be witnessing the individual who could be the king of the ring, Mr. Perfect.
Mr. Mediocre.
No way he could ever call himself a king.
And now, Jas, especially not using cheating tactics like that.
A bit of poetic justice as Doink was clobbered into the steps just a moment ago.
Perfect now with Doink.
Trying to shove him.
Yes, gets him back in the ring.
Doesn't want him.
Count it out.
He wants a victory here.
I think Doink is going to end up with double vision.
And again, Perfect working on the left leg.
He softened it up earlier on.
He's going to stay right with it.
Why not?
Now look.
Yeah.
Now look.
Why not be a gentleman?
Doink says, wait a minute.
I'm going to back up and wait a minute.
As long as we don't see more than one Doink, Mr. Perfect has a tremendous opportunity here.
To qualify to be in the King of the Ring Tournament.
Which is equally as prestigious as the WWF Championship belt.
Well, I'll tell you, speaking of the title, the Hoaxer against Choco Zona.
It won't get any better than that in the WWF.
What a matchup at the King of the Ring event.
It's the first correct decision that Jack Tunney has made ordering a rematch.
I see.
That's right.
Because Hulk Hogan should not even, for him to even be carrying the World Championship belt around.
It's just, it's a crime is what it is.
Oh, I see a crime.
As bad as you carrying the crown around.
Well, you know what could happen.
I'm not saying this is going to happen.
Tunney's made some controversial decisions as of late.
No doubt of that.
But what if he ordered the King Jerry Lawler to enter the King of the Ring Tournament?
Oh, wow, what a knee lift going to the outside.
We'll be right back.
We're back with our WWF faction and Mr. Perfect just rammed into the ring post.
And Doink beats the count back in.
Nip and tuck matchup all the way.
Doink, oh, wait a minute, going up to the top.
Going up to the top rope and Doink down across the bucket ahead.
Standing by now, ladies and gentlemen, the Hawaiian Crush.
And Crush, there's no doubt that you're looking forward to it.
Wait a minute.
Doink, how can you be here and there at the same time?
It's an illusion.
What is going on here?
Wait just a minute.
He just told you.
What do you mean what's going on?
It's an illusion.
This guy's a master of illusions.
I doubt Crush was scheduled to join us.
There's more to it than that.
A bit of trickery here.
I can see it now.
Headlining in Las Vegas.
Siegfried, Roy, and Doink.
The masters of illusions.
Siegfried, Roy, and Doink.
He's got a ring to it.
Perfect firing up into the chest area with a forearm.
Oh, look at this.
And right back with a forearm in his own right, Doink the Clown.
Who will be king of the ring?
It could very well be either Doink or Mr. Perfect.
Snaps or plaques.
Taking nothing away from Doink's rustling ability.
He looks like a fool.
He looks like a clown.
But he is a consummate rustler and an evil, evil man.
I see nothing to laugh about thus far in this matchup.
He's not taking advantage of Mr. Perfect being hurt.
He's just into himself.
He's having a good time in there right now.
He might not be having a good time for long.
What if the king had to face Doink the Clown?
Or the king of the ring qualifying matchup?
On the top rope again.
Doink!
And again, right into the head of Mr. Perfect.
This guy's a riot.
I've never seen such confusion among commentators.
All throughout this match, I've told you, he's not Mr. Perfect.
He's Mr. Pretty Good.
And I've also told you that I am the one and only king of the ring.
Can't you get that straight?
Perfect now being set up by Doink.
A whip to the ropes coming off.
Doink pressing with a left heel.
Connecting with a right perfect.
Nice uppercut.
Perfect hammering away.
A slack vest developing here.
Back and forth.
Perfect wraps up Doink.
Doink again.
Two and three gets him.
No, he didn't.
No way.
It was close.
Very close.
And again.
Perfect wrapping up Doink.
And trying to get him over.
Trying to slide him right down the back.
Perfect trying to prevail.
One, two, three.
No.
Got a two.
What a seesaw matchup.
Well, I guess it's obvious now.
He's no longer Perfect.
He's mediocre at best.
To the rope.
Doink hanging on.
But can't hang on.
Two and three.
Gets him that time for sure.
No way.
Ref resay two.
Oh, come on.
He got him.
I saw it.
There's a lot at stake here, man.
Let me tell you, king of the ring.
Come on.
Suplex.
Perfect wants us when he wants it badly.
And no, not much of a cover there.
Perfect whip Doink.
Perfect trying to set him up again.
Wow.
Look at this.
And a reversal.
Off the rope.
Back body drop.
No.
Perfect putting it.
Here it comes.
Perfect flex right there.
The bell.
Who rang the bell?
What is this?
What's the time limit on this?
Don't tell me the time expired.
What was the time limit?
I wasn't aware.
Where is the perfect flex?
My Mr. Perfect.
The time limit has expired.
What was the time limit on now?
Therefore, the referee rules this match a draw.
An unpopular decision.
Neither individual advancing.
Let's take you back down to last week.
A special update on Tatanka.
Oh, yeah, Tatanka.
The big bad warrior.
He likes to sneak up behind people
and chop them in the head.
That was a real good laugh, huh?
Well, I had the last laugh, pal,
because I not only got you.
I not only got you, Indian,
but I scalped you.
Bam Bam Bigelow.
There are many things sacred to my people
like the eagle feather.
But to me, which is most sacred,
is the red hair, the red streak
that symbolizes all my Native Americans
and all my people.
And when you attacked me from high
and I awoke and I realized
how you had desecrated my heritage,
you started a fire in me
that will burn until I get my revenge.
Well, here it comes, ladies and gentlemen.
A man who no doubt will face sooner or later
the only individual that has, in fact,
been seated justifiably
without having to qualify.
He has been seated, the number one seed
in the King of the Ring tournament,
making reference to former WWF champion
and, of course, the People's Champion
as we speak, the Hitman, Bret Hart.
You mean the Narcissist is not already seated?
Well, the Narcissist must defeat
Bob Backlund this weekend
if, in fact, he is going to be entered
into the King of the Ring tournament.
Oh, but the Hitman gets a free ride in there, right?
He is. He's the only one who deserves
justifiably a free ride.
Why is that? Why does he deserve it?
Possibly it might be the reason
is because he got robbed of the WWF title
by Yoko Suna.
He's the only man I know in the WWF.
They got flattened twice in one day,
first by the Narcissist and then by Yoko Suna,
and then he gets a free ride in the tournament.
I can't understand exactly a free ride.
If you've paid dues like the Hitman Bret Hart has paid,
you deserve an opportunity to be seated at number one.
Luger must qualify.
You, Jerry Lawler, must qualify.
We tried to get earlier on
a winner between Perfect and Doink.
They, too, are still in the running,
but neither individual is qualified to date.
And look at this man, if you will.
The Narcissist, Lex Luger,
is truly in love with himself.
And everybody's looking at him. Look at that.
Every eye in the place is on the Narcissist.
Crush took a real good look at him
on Monday Night Raw last Monday.
Yes, he did.
And speaking of Monday Night Raw,
this Monday night, one-on-one,
Hacksaw Jim Duggan could become
the Intercontinental Champion
should he defeat Shawn Michaels.
What a matchup this Monday night.
Yeah.
Oh, come on.
Was this peek-a-boo time?
I mean, it's like he's just giving us
a little glimpse of his extraordinary physique.
Look at this young lady.
You want her fame.
You want people following her on the aisle.
They're pointing down. Yes, they are.
Look at the girls. Look at them swooning right now.
They'll be passing out left and right.
The Narcissist, Lex Luger,
more concerned with his appearance, I believe,
than anything else in this world.
Well, he knows he doesn't have to be concerned
with his opponent.
He knows what's gonna happen to him.
Oh, really?
Gonna knock him out like a light.
Uh-huh.
What's gonna happen when he faces
the Hitman, Bret Hart?
He has a superior physique.
There's no question about that,
after all, this is not bodybuilding.
This is the World Wrestling Federation.
A look of admiration, all right.
But what can you do in the squared circle?
What will the Narcissist, Lex Luger,
do against the Hitman, Bret Hart?
Wait a minute. Look at this.
This young man taking a look at himself.
Oh, no!
Nice little forearm there, wasn't it?
Knocked him out? No doubt.
I think you're right. I think you're right.
There is no match.
There's absolutely no match here whatsoever.
One split second in the spotlight is all he had.
I think Jack Toddy made a bad decision, folks,
allowing the Narcissist, Lex Luger,
to compete with all the rest of the superstars in the WWF.
Luger has an unfair advantage.
He has that metal plate in his forearm.
So what do you think?
You think he should be deprived
of the opportunity to make a living?
I'm not saying that.
I think perhaps a protective gear
or what have you should be ordered by Toddy.
I mean, after all, something has to protect
the opponents of the Narcissist, Lex Luger.
It's only fair.
All they have to do is protect themselves.
You know how?
Don't sign a contract to wrestle the Narcissist.
I see.
Don't put your name on the dotted line.
The Narcissist, Lex Luger, enjoying himself,
as we take you now to the Event Center.
Yo, Santana.
Oye, me chico.
Next week, right here,
Razor and El Matador.
The winner, he goes on
in the King of the Ring Tournament.
You such a tough guy, chico.
Don't sing it. Bring it.
Razor Ramon, next week, you and I,
the winner of this match,
qualifies for the King of the Ring
first round tournament coming up.
And I guarantee you one thing, Razor Ramon,
when the bell sounds,
this Mexican is gonna be coming at you,
and I intend to put it through you.
Hooray!
Taking his way down the aisle.
Hey, ready to make this Bam Bam Bigelow
that attack...
You 30 enjoyed that?
Let me put it this way.
It was a very hair-raising experience for Tataka.
Well, I'll tell you something.
That Native American is still undefeated
here in the WWF,
and Bam Bam Bigelow may have a big price to pay
for what he did to Tataka last week on Superstars.
Now, this man right here
is one of the most highly recruited athletes
in the WWF right now.
Tell me, what do you know about him?
Hey, this guy was a high-skilled
All-American in football in Kansas City.
He was a four-year starter
at defensive tackle for Kansas State University
in the Big Eight Conference.
He is a magnificent athlete
and a guy that a lot of managers
right now in the WWF would love to sign.
That's what I hear. That's the rumbling I get.
I hear that, you know,
all the managers are looking into this man.
They all like to have a piece of him.
They can see money in this guy.
Oh, yeah, he's got great agility,
360 pounds or so,
and he is one nasty customer.
He looks nasty.
You can hear the impact of that clothesline.
Mr. Hughes, 65, 360,
and very, very sadistic, shall we say.
Look at the strength in this man,
slamming Mark Ming very easily.
As we said, virtually every manager
here in the WWF has their eye on this man.
He can make somebody a lot of money.
No doubt about it.
He kicked him right in the face.
I mean, to get your foot up that high.
Well, I understand that Reverend Slick
has even inquired about this man,
and he's made some comments.
As a matter of fact, let's listen
to Reverend Slick's comments now.
Slick had ruined him.
You know, Mr. Hughes,
I've always prided myself on my ability
to recognize raw talent.
And you know, there's so much about you,
your self-confidence, your self-esteem,
but it's just headed in the wrong direction.
You need to hook up with the Reverend.
I can help you channel those energies
into a positive light.
What?
I'm sure that he could.
That might not be a bad situation.
It is a bad situation for Mark Ming
as he was destroyed with that side slam.
Here is your winner, Mr. Hughes.
Mr. Hughes, very, very impressive here.
And right now, ladies and gentlemen,
let's go to the event center.
He is mean.
I want to thank Jack Tunney for putting me
as the number one seed
in the King of the Ring tournament.
You know, I can't worry about title matches
or anything else right now
because the only thing I can do
is go straight to the top.
And the best way to do that
is to be the King of the Ring.
You know something?
Being the number one seed is perfect for me
because I'm going to prove to everybody
that I am the best there is,
the best there was,
and the best there ever will be.
Champion, Hulk Hogan.
Look at my man, Yoko Zuno.
505 pounds.
He's prepared.
He's ready for you.
Are you ready for my Yoko Zuno?
Are you?
Let me tell you.
This time around,
come for the King of the Ring
in Dayton, Ohio.
Come June 13th, boys.
He'll be the winner.
And also, he'll win the WWF Heavyweight Championship.
And all the little hulks will be fed.
Very, very fed.
And Yoko Zuno
and Mr. Food would be very happy.
Because, boy, son,
we're going to make sure
he'll be honest and clean.
Honest and clean.
Bullseye!
Amen.
Sayonara.
Five-time World Wrestling Federation Champion
Hulk Hogan is holding court
here on the sands of the beautiful
Gulf Beaches of Clearwater, Florida.
He is on the movie set.
Gentlemen, that's the business of the hour.
However, there is future business
that is going to be conducted
as part of the King of the Ring
June 13th in Dayton, Ohio.
I don't have to tell you,
I am talking Yoko Zuno
and the World Wrestling Federation.
Well, what I can tell you right now, little dude,
is you're talking trash, brother.
Because the only reason I'm out here on the movie set,
the only reason I'm in Hollywood
is simply because
it was a prior commitment.
Is that straight between you and me?
You've got it.
You've done it right. I've got it, brother.
I've got the World Wrestling Federation title
down to it, brother.
All I've got to say is in Dayton, Ohio,
when the strongest power in the world,
Hulkamania, runs wild,
the ring crew from the WWF
better reinforce the ring.
Because when I get old Fatso
up in the air,
when I get old Yoko Zuno
Stinko Buno
in the launch position,
I'm going to press him over my head.
I'm going to show him off to all my
Hulkamaniacs in the arena.
When he splits the ring in half,
don't panic in LA, New York,
Kansas City, or Tokyo.
It's not a worldwide earthquake.
It's just Yoko Zuno
going down for the second time.
Now to cut to the quick, brother.
We're going to take care of that dude in Dayton.
But you, Fuji, Yoko Zuno,
or anybody else that messes with me,
my little Hulksters, or the brothers at my side,
you're messing with my family.
I precious that.
I pressure that.
I precious that. I regard that more than life.
I'm so excited I can't even talk.
But the thing is,
in Dayton, Ohio, brother,
you've got to date with disaster.
Brutus the Barber's going to be hanging in back.
And after I beat Yoko Zuno for the one, two, three,
you're going to get a little haircut.
You're going to look just like Mr. Fuji.
What you going to do?
Welcome back, everyone,
to WWF Wrestling's Challenge.
Jim Ross and Bobby the Brain
heening back with you. And what a man of it.
He will be at the King of the Ring
competition on June 13th.
Hulk Hogan and Yoko Zuno
one-on-one for the WWF
title break.
Well, this time Yoko Zuno can prepare himself.
This time he's got himself
a couple of months to really get ready.
And I'm talking about get ready
for the five-time WWF champion
Hulk Hogan. Hulkamania
is going to be finished
at the King of the Ring. Plus we have
learned that Red Heart has been
seated number one
in the King of the Ring tournament.
And I think that is one of
the better decisions that Jack Tunney
has made in the last few weeks.
Well, you don't understand. You're new here.
Being number one seed means
that you have greased the palm of
Jack Tunney.
That means he bought his way into it.
I don't believe that whatsoever.
Well, we are going to see
this qualifying
matchup for the King of the Ring
competition. The winner of this competition
will join
Red Heart in the tournament.
If we can ever
get the mirror out of the ring and
get to admiring
himself.
This guy really
is full of himself. And here's one of the most
down to earth, one of the nicest guys
who ever competed
in the WWF.
234 pounds from Mayberry
L.B. Taylor.
It's Bob Backlund
and he's from North Dakota State University,
Bobby. Wow!
And he was also, you can say wow
for the fact that he was for about six years
the WWF champion. North Dakota
State? What do you have to do
there to graduate? People milk a cow with your left
hand? A fine institution and they have
a great wrestling program. Oh, they certainly
do. Tomorrow
Elmer, maybe you can drive the truck
and I'll talk to the pig.
Hey, everybody can't be born with a silver spoon
in their mouth and have a chauffeur named
Jennifer who told me, by the way,
that she hasn't had a raise in
several, several months.
She said that? Yes. She's fired.
I want to load her just like I found her.
You need a job in the weekends?
I'm a little bit busy in the weekends. Oh, that's right. You just drive
pickup trucks.
Backlund could go behind
and he cradles Luger
near foul situation.
Backlund hooks the arms. He's right behind
Luger and Luger able to kick out
at two. Luger now trying
to slam inside part of my backlund.
Backlund has taken the big man off his
feet. Another hard drag takeover.
Single leg.
Backlund has Luger
confused and the big man
off his feet. Backlund up and over.
Pity predicament.
Can he get him here? Oh, that's close.
Luger's got to get outside
to regroup and
the narcissist is not
very happy.
I like the strategy that Opie's using here.
He's going right after.
He's trying to pin him about four or five times.
He's taking it right to
Lex Luger. He's not laying back.
That's good strategy right there.
I don't think it's going to work.
He's 43 years old, Bob Backlund.
He's been out of the WWF
for about seven or eight years.
He did hold that title for six, seven
years. That takes a lot out of you.
He's in tremendous shape for his age.
But you can't compare him to Lex Luger.
It's like comparing horse manure to ice cream.
Well, Luger at
6'5", 275 has a
definite
strength and obviously size
advantage over Bob Backlund.
But he's also got something that you can measure
and that's that steel plate
that is in his right forearm
that has knocked everyone
absolutely unconscious
that he has faced.
Oh, he's had more hits than Elvis.
Luger back in the ring now.
He needs to control
the tempo here because Backlund started off
very, very quickly.
And Backlund does have a quick
disadvantage.
Backlund has him in the ropes.
Well, good
sportsmanship by Backlund, but he paid for it
perhaps with the elbow right in the face.
Well, you want good sportsmanship,
you go to North Nebraska State wherever he's from.
North Dakota State. Same thing,
same neck of the woods.
Well, Lex Luger, I talked
with him earlier today, and after he got
through talking about himself for about a half
an hour, he did get around to talking about
Bret the Hitman Hart. And that's going to
be a tremendous matchup.
Hart and Luger one on one.
Oh, and Bret Hart
in the back of his mind, he's not forgetting
how he was knocked out cold
at the WrestleMania breakfast
brunch. And that has something to do with
him losing that title, too. You know, he
rattled his cage pretty good.
Exactly right about that. It was a cheap shot.
Luger caught him from behind,
caught him blindsided. It doesn't matter what you
call it as long as you get the shot in.
Luger,
Irish whip. Now it's going to be reversed by
Backlund. And Backlund
hit box Luger over, scoops him up.
Bobby Backlund showing his strength.
He's powerful already.
Drop kick, caught Luger in the face.
Backlund now
showing some offensive
spark.
Has Luger up. Tommy
Drop. He'll compress the vertigo there.
Luger in trouble.
He's going right in for the pin. He wants it.
Got him rolled up.
Oh, Luger's great.
Luger's leg strength.
Backlund was going to roll back with him
and that vintage move of his.
But Luger's leg strength was too much
for Backlund to overcome.
The heat and cradle.
I have never heard that
term used in my career.
You went to South Dakota State.
No, I didn't.
Oh, that's right.
You're a jokie from a skokie.
Backlund pulling his way back up
on the apron.
Right there. He caught him
with that forearm.
And Backlund knocked
all the way down the aisle. And he
is not moving. He's out of it.
I can't see from my vantage
point here.
Luger looks great.
He caught him with that controversial
forearm. And the
referee, Bill Alfonso
exercising his count. And
Luger's going to win it by a count out.
And he will advance in the
King of the Ring tournament.
But where's Backlund?
The winner of this match by a count out.
The Narcissist
Rex
Luger.
So Luger advances in the King of
the Ring competition. Fans, we've
got more action coming your way.
Crush.com on Channel.
Could it be that this man headed to the ring
and he will be the next King
of the Ring?
Weighing 243 pounds
Dwight
McCloud
Talk about tongue in cheek.
His opponent weighing
225 pounds
The Kamikaze Kid
Dwight the Clown
here on Monday Night Raw.
Spurring off against the Kamikaze Kid making
his debut. And who knows
maybe Dwight the Clown
qualified just might be
and the King of the Ring Tournament.
Dwight the Clown going to work on the Kamikaze Kid.
Whoa! Grabbing him to the buckle down to the canvas.
Now Bobby the Right-Headed
you know full well that last week there was
now one you know darn well
look at that maneuver. There were two
Dwight the Clowns and Crush was
not having double vision.
Dwight has a split personality.
It's an illusion right? It's an illusion.
Like David Copperfield does. Magic.
Certainly was no illusion that
Dwight did not qualify this past weekend
with his match up with Mr. Perfect.
Then again Mr. Perfect did not
qualify either for the King of the Ring
Tournament. Both individuals
rustling to a draw. They may
get another opportunity somewhere down the line.
Dwight going to work
on the Kamikaze Kid teaching him
thus far a rustling lesson.
Sadistic and evil
Dwight the Clown
both of them not double vision
two Dwight the Clowns.
You know he can spit on you with a rubber tongue
he can throw a pie in your face.
He can do all those humorous things.
But basically this guy is a wrestler.
He is one basically.
This Clown is evil.
Oh yeah he's evil but he's a great wrestler.
He can walk away with the King of the Ring
the whole thing.
I believe you're right about that.
Such other rustling skills are Dwight.
Look at him.
Very vicious this week.
Dwight the Clown.
You wonder which one this was.
Was it Mr. Dwight that was
on the right side up in the balcony
or the one on the left watching last week's match?
McMahon. It was the Dwight in the balcony.
Which Dwight in the balcony?
Which balcony?
By the way Hacksaw Jim Duggan
on the phone.
Apparently having a conversation
with WWF President Jack Tunney.
Hacksaw Jim Duggan
persuaded to leave the ring area
and I believe Tunney is going to make a decision
very very shortly.
Hopefully we're going to have Hacksaw Jim Duggan
with us. Look at this.
Look at this. Look at this.
Putting a submission home on a kamikaze
kid.
And the kid was no time in
surrendering.
Duggan can't be talking to Tunney.
Tunney is too cheap to accept
the charges.
Hopefully we'll have Hacksaw Jim Duggan
back with us when we return
with our Monday Night Raw.
Would you please welcome
once again please Hacksaw Jim
Duggan.
Seven days
away from becoming the new winner
Continental Champion. He wishes.
All he needed was the match
the lumberjack match and he's got it so that's
all that matters right there.
Well he's had two opportunities this will be his second
Hacksaw Jim Duggan.
I understand
that your wish has come
true and your sit down strike
apparently has paid off.
Well not very often does old Hacksaw
Jim Duggan get an opportunity
to talk to the president but
Sergeant Slaughter came out here and told me
Jack Tunney was on the telephone
so I ran out there and I said Mr
Tunney it's not fair.
It's not right.
Shawn Michaels can run away
from me. You know what Mr
Tunney said to me. He said
Hacksaw Shawn can run
but he can't hide because
next week baby you
got him in a lumberjack match for
the Intercontinental title.
Tough guy.
I'm sure Mr. Michaels is not too happy
about this at all in a lumberjack matchup
when all the superstars surround the squared
circle when someone is thrown out. Obviously
Mr. Michaels won't be able to run very
far. He seems to spend
more time outside the ring
than he does inside. I'm not going
to take nothing away from him.
He's sure pretty
and he sure wrestles well
but he can't fight a leg
and Shawn Michaels when I get you
in the ring I'm taking that title
away from you. One way
or the other. Tough guy.
Hacksaw Shawn Michaels
Thumbs up all the way for Hacksaw Jim Duggan
but a lumberjack match is very very dangerous because
you never know what happens if you're on the outside
for any reason either being thrown out
or whether or not you're chasing Shawn Michaels
one of your adversaries
just might be there. Well no
question about no telling who's going to be outside
the ring but it's like back in my old
football days. You got to keep your head on a
swivel. You got to look around.
You can't trust nobody but
Hacksaw Jim Duggan's mind
is on one thing. That's the
Intercontinental title.
Tough guy.
Hard best
luck to Hacksaw Jim Duggan. Your wish
granted by President Jack Tunney
the lumberjack match ordered and who knows
you could very well be taking another
look at the new
Intercontinental champion. Go for it.
USA
Nettle Baby Hacksaw right there in your
corner. Don't go away the head
shakers. Kamala in a very special
surprise. The gentlemen
at this time. This must be
it. Here comes a special surprise
moment. Who truly
has been one of the legendary
figures in the world of wrestling generation.
One of the premier
managers. Sit down. Sit down buddy.
Listen. There he is.
A warm welcome for Captain
Lewis Albano.
You bet. Captain
Lewis Albano here on
Monday Night Raw. We don't
get along you know, McMahon. Yeah, no kidding.
But I like Captain Lou
forever and ever and ever.
I mean he's nuts. He's nuts. He's off the
wall as anybody. You're the head cast shoe.
No, I'm sitting next to the head cast
shoe. Captain Lewis Albano, the manager
of more tag team champions
than any other individual in the
history of the World Wrestling Federation.
What a stellar. Hey, Cap, come on over.
Curly will
invite him over here.
Right next to him.
Let's see what he's going to have to say.
Been a long time since we have
been in the company of Captain
Lewis Albano.
Step two in one of those rubber bands even.
They're opponents.
Coming down the aisle.
Hey, Cap, how you doing?
From the house of Samoa.
Coming around to sit down.
Come on.
Look who's coming to town.
49 pounds.
Look at this.
Captain Lewis Albano, you never
looked better. Look at this.
What kind of, you must be an Ica Pro.
Unbelievable, Vinny. I'm an Ica Pro.
I walk five, six miles a day. I'm in
the best condition of my life. I've got the body
that women love and men envy. Brother, I feel
good. I used to manage the Wild Samoans
off of Seca.
First of all, Vinny, I'd like to say it's an honor
to be back on the major leagues of professional
wrestling, the WWF, and sitting
next to the main man, the Macho Man,
a man that's often imitative and never
duplicated. Vinny, it is an honor.
Now, getting back to the Samoans,
you know I did manage them. They were three-time
world champions, Vinny. We call them the head
hunters now. They've taken a change, I believe,
for the worse. I believe there's something
in the box. I don't know what it is, but something
has gone wrong. Mr. Albano, you have
not made reference to the gentleman
sitting to your left, Bobby the Brain Heenan.
Well, there's really not too much to make reference
to. I'm not a fan of Bobby the Brain
Heenan. I do respect the man
realizing that he has great managerial talent.
He's a great announcer. He's a great
commentator. However, I do not respect the man
and his tactics. I believe that the man has
gone astray. The man has a brain of a dehydrated
BB, put it in the pigeonhole parakeet,
it will go backwards. I like that. I do believe
he has to be watched at all times.
He needs psychiatric care. The man has
troubles. The man has problems. I do
want to keep an eye on the demented
half-wit. I call him Bobby Heenan.
I don't care to answer that.
I'm not a demented half-wit. When you put my brain
into a pigeon, he flies upside down.
Mr. Heenan, get it straight.
I think he said fly backwards.
I don't care what he says.
The man is ruining my program.
I've got us. Look at this.
What we have here is the Head Trickers
cleaning house.
And if they were managed by Captain
Albano, I'm sure things would be different.
Look at this. Double D Mavodov.
Regardless of what Bobby
the Brain Heenan has to say,
Captain Lewis Albano, it is indeed
an honor to have you back here
in the World Wrestling Federation.
Well, I got to say, Vince, it's an honor
for me. We're in the major leagues of professional
wrestling right here. The greatest organization
in the world. But I'm glad to be back, Vince.
I'm glad to be sitting next to Macho Man and yourself.
Forget about Bobby Heenan, the demented
half-wit, but I'm glad to be back, brother.
What are the demented half-wit?
You got the back of a dehydrated baby
put in a pinch of parakeet and fly backwards, brother.
That did it. Put him up.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Take it easy.
Save yourself the embarrassment, Heenan.
He'll knock you out quickly.
Look at this body, Heenan, a body that women love and men envy.
Maybe I'll throw him over.
If it wasn't for the scrap metal I have in my back here,
it's not important.
Check your brain out, baby.
By the way, Yokozuna...
Uh-oh, a bit of conversing here.
Uh, Yokozuna,
we are just, we've just been told
Yokozuna is going to be one of the Lumberjacks
next week, right here on
Monday Night Raw. And that spells
trouble for Hacksaw Jim Duggan.
Well, you know the hatred there between Hacksaw Jim Duggan
and Yokozuna. Now, Yokozuna's
gonna be outside the ring as a lumberjack.
A Japanese lumberjack.
A 505 pound Japanese
lumberjack. I'd pay to see that.
Well, you may have to.
What a matchup that's gonna be on Monday Night Raw.
We already know
that Yokozuna
is gonna be one of the Lumberjacks.
You wonder who else is going to be
circling the ring,
making sure that Hacksaw Jim Duggan
and Shawn Michaels keep the action on
the inside.
I got an idea. What?
Since Yokozuna's gonna be a lumberjack, and he's as big
as he is, why don't he just be the only
lumberjack? I think that's fair.
Oh, no! Can you smell his brain
bubbling in there, Macho Man? He's got an idea.
Boy, is that hot. I thought I smelled something burning.
He was thinking.
What a devastating
power driver we saw just moments
ago. Unbelievable, Vince.
Unbelievable. And there's
Alpha, whom Captain Luis Alvado used
to manage. And there's Zika hanging around
his neck. That's not Zika.
Are you half-wit? That's not Zika.
That's a shrunken head from a Ziatathar
man. Captain, when you were managing
Alpha and Zika, when you were
managing Alpha and Zika, did you ever get any
communication with them? Yes, brother.
I was able to get down and talk some more.
I'll tell you what happened, Savage. When he managed
them, they used to be Polish.
No, they used to be
victorious. They used to be
champions.
Alvado is conversing now
with one of the head-shrinkers.
Mr. Alvado,
what did you say? I said,
please try to go by the rules.
Stop this cruelty because it's unreal.
They're not listening. Give the man a chance.
Give the man a fair chance. I guess they're not.
Then again,
are you listening? To who?
To Captain Luis Alvado. I can't understand
a word what he says. My double
headbutt there.
Mr. Alvado, have you been impressed?
Here's the cover.
Make it end this, I believe.
Anytime they would want to.
Are you impressed thus far with the
mental prowess of the brain
Bobby Heenan? Well, I'm not impressed
with Bobby Brain's brain,
I should say, or Bobby Heenan's brain. I'm not impressed
at all, Vince. He does nothing for me.
Macho Man. Macho Man is a legend
in his own time. He I am impressed with.
Very unimpressed with the brain. Thank you.
Hey, why don't you turn your back to me,
everyone? By the way, Captain,
what's that bangling from your ear?
Well, it's an eclectic rubber band,
Vince, from an eclectic tree in Borneo.
And I've always had them for years. You know that.
Borneo. Borneo, that's right.
You're talking to a guy that speaks Samoan. He's wearing rubber bands.
He's got half a tree hanging out of his ear.
For what reason?
Why don't you lay dead, Heenan, and shut up?
That's it. Put him up. Give the other end a chance.
Yeah, that's a good idea.
What other end? Excellent advice on the part
of Captain Lewis about all that.
What should I do with my other end? I can't understand
what he's saying. Well, why don't you leave?
My show. Oh, I don't leave.
Whoa, look at this.
Oh, a devastating maneuver.
Wow. Is that what they mean
when they say keep your head down?
Uh-oh, look at this guy going up.
Oh, oh, oh.
All the way on the top. Watch the height he gets.
Far too from that. Whoa.
This is the 300 pounds
Unreal.
Got to break
a man's limbs. Am I right,
Macho Man? You've got to meme a man for life.
Here are your winners, the
Vince Swapers.
My God, look at
Sabu and Fatul
managed by
Alpha and Captain Lewis
Alvarez. Look at this. We would like to thank you
very much for joining us here on Monday Night World.
The tear them apart. Look at it.
Well, I'd like to thank you, Vince, for having me here as you
witnessed. It's a pleasure and it's an honor.
And I want to tell you one thing, the Samoans actually
scared me. I don't know what's happened.
Well, come back soon. No, don't.
Shut up, Cannon. Shut up.
Hey, I'll meet you out back after the way.
You want to meet me out back? Come on out.
Yeah, well, go ahead.
Let's go. You ready? Yeah, you go. You can't find a doorway.
Us picking up the doorway.
Saddle down, guys. Perhaps you all
should take a course on home
improvement, courtesy of the Bushwackers
and Colosseum home video.
Smack them, whack them.
With me right now is the
Intercontinental Champion, Shawn Michaels.
And Shawn, I know what you've gone through. It's been an uphill
battle your whole career to win this.
Now, like stab you in the back. Jack
Tunney, Incorporated. You know, can you believe
this? Have you ever in the history of
the World Wrestling Federation seen an
Intercontinental Champion treated this way?
I mean, Jack Tunney, I'm the World Wrestling Federation
Intercontinental Champion. And now
Hacksaw Jim Duggan somehow
gets me into a lumberjack
match. I mean, he protests.
He calls Jack Tunney at home.
I don't even have his home phone number.
And I'm the Intercontinental Champion.
You see, that's what I don't like. It's not fair. If he's got Tunney's home phone
number, you're gonna put the title up next
week right here on Monday Night Raw. I don't
like the sound of this. Oh, neither do I. I mean, who knows
who he's got up his sleeve. Plus, not to mention
all the people he's gonna have around the ring.
All his buddies. I mean, you know, don't
get me wrong. I got a couple numbers of myself.
I got a couple friends out there. But you
know something, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, one way or another,
this thing's staying with me. Let me know one thing.
I know you must have something up your sleeve. What do you have
planned for Hacksaw Jim Duggan?
I can fix that.
Don't miss the first
ever lumberjack matchup.
You won't believe it next week on Monday Night Raw.
Stay home, Duggan.
I'm sure
your mom is extremely proud
of her macho baby.
Well, he's got a face only
a mother could love.
Let's be nice.
What's time
to be nice? Springtime.
King of the Rings coming around.
People are still waiting for you to get up and up and
coach you to enter.
Hello. Were you there?
Yeah, I'm here.
Oh, please.
That is, you have to qualify.
This week, as we mentioned earlier on,
to qualify. Will it be
El Matador? Will it be Razor
Ramon already in the King
of the Ring Tournament? The Hitman
Brad Hart? Plus,
last week, the Narcissist
Lex Luger qualified.
Two things are
for sure. That the
tax laws will always change
and that you people will
always try and cheat.
I don't know you
talking about the way that the King ruffles.
Always cheating,
but here they come.
The Narcissist now
unveiling one for Allen.
Here are
Knob and Sacks.
Knob and
Sacks.
It's time to be nasty sized.
Knob and Sacks.
They are
one tag team of a kind.
Speaking of nasty, have you ever been to their house?
Of course not.
Disgusting.
Roaches are running around begging for raid in their house.
It's terrible. Roaches begging
for raid.
What a tag team partner with Nasty Boys
have chosen this week.
Here it is.
Kamala.
Big
X-Men tag team bets.
Big Kamala joining the Nasty Boys.
Yes, the name of the game of course
and all tag teams as coordination
you must function as a unit.
You wonder why the Nasty Boys
chose Kamala as a tag team
member. I'll tell you why. Why?
They're stupid, that's why.
Oh please. They are.
Well then again, Mr. Hughes somewhat
untested, although he's undefeated thus
far. A lot of managers
wanting, by the way one of them I
understand is the Doctor of Style.
The Slickster himself
is trying to negotiate
some sort of a deal with Mr. Hughes.
Every manager in the WWF
apparently sees
something in Mr. Hughes.
Man, now wait a minute. Could you imagine
what a team that would make?
Mr. Hughes and the mighty Kamala
managed by Slick.
Quite a tag team.
But right now it's
six-man tag team action.
And a handshake.
Yep, okay. Let's try it again.
And
the Doctor of Style truly has taught
Kamala so much about life as a
awesome, big, mean
man. He seems to have an attitude.
Yeah he does, although he doesn't
seem to be all that
put out by the presence of the Nasty Boys
and that matter the mighty Kamala at all. Look at
him. He fears no one.
Maybe you're right.
Mr. Hughes surveying the
situation and it looks like Mr. Hughes
is going to start off with
Ugandan Giant.
Look at the look on the face of
Kamala. You know, I just had another idea.
What's that? After the Slickster watches
this, he may want to manage Mr. Hughes
and dump that bum Kamala.
I hardly think he is a bum.
Wait a minute.
Now what's that?
That was very interesting.
They decided to give Kamala a chance.
Sorry for him, obviously.
In the hand
of the Million Dollar Man. Look at
this.
Look at him peel off those
C-notes. Look at
all of that money.
Look at that money.
Look at that.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Was it English or Ugandanese?
And it's
like, okay, take the money and
take off.
Kamala is trying to
buy off the mighty Kamala.
If it were there, it would be three on two.
It would be a handicap tag team matchup.
Take the money and run.
Kamala is taking the money.
I can't believe it.
I'm disappointed.
Kamala takes the money and Kamala
takes off.
No, he doesn't take off.
Kamala shots
Captain Yase.
The deal is now closed until it's closed.
Off the road,
the Million Dollar Man chopped down to the canvas
again. Kamala double
crossed Ted DiBiase to the
back off. And moving right back
in, the Ugandan giant Ted
DiBiase being ripped from both of
posts.
Give me a telephone. I need to call the police.
Why? I witnessed a theft.
You did not. I witnessed a theft.
DiBiase shouldn't have had that money in the first place.
No, the switcher just stole his man's
money. He did not steal it.
You know very well that money is
going in the collection plate at the
Mountie from Baptist Church in Fort
Worth, Texas this Sunday. You know
very well that's where it's going. I just
saw it go in the slinkster's pocket. Yeah.
It'll wind up in the collection plate.
Oh, look at this.
And now hammering away
all over Ted DiBiase.
And DiBiase
whipped again to a buckle.
Oh, what a clothesline.
Come on, Ted.
Six man tag team match
and Ted DiBiase having
big problems in this matchup.
Two. I guess so. Two is
right. He's having a fight. Two against one.
DiBiase lost some money.
He took a chance. It's like
Dan Williams in the stock market. If you lose, you lose.
Reversal now by
DiBiase. And a knee to the midsection.
Finally, DiBiase tags
in RRS.
RRS. Trump still misses the elbow.
Right on target.
Brian Knox
spinning RRS around.
Wailing away now.
A whip to the buckle. And down
goes I.R.S.
Uh oh.
Will it be the pin stop? I want to see
this.
Look at that. He's been nasty
size. We'll be back.
We're
back. And Brian Knox has
tagged out once again. And Jerry
Sykes in the ring. Hammering away
on I.R.S.
This has not been a very good effort on the
part of Money Incorporated.
And Mr. Hughes yet to get into the matchup.
Look at this.
Triple team effort.
A little
confused.
Very much confused after that.
Finally, here comes Mr. Hughes.
Hughes
hammering away on Kamala. Knocks
him down. Big, strong
arm break. And Mr. Hughes.
Carter Hughes hammering away
on Kamala. Kamala
chopping back.
A bit of a slump fast here. Developing
between these two Mohibis.
Off the rope. Kamala.
And no one goes anywhere.
Look at this. And
again.
Another touchdown goes
Hughes finally. What a
matchup.
Brian Knox in now against Mr. Hughes.
Double team effort.
Trying to do something against this big man.
Hughes.
One of the more sought after individuals.
Look at that.
Hughes shot Brian
Knox into the waiting. Money Incorporated.
A little taste of their own medicine there.
They've been doubling
triple teaming Mr. Hughes and Ted
DiBiase and Irwin Arshaser
all night long.
Mr. Hughes
now with Brian Knox off the rope.
Setting him up. Big boom.
Into the babuscus.
Curtis Hughes with the advantage
likely to keep it.
You know usually when you hit one of
those slots in the nose you also break his finger.
That's not very
nice to say. But it's true.
Have you ever been nasty sized? Oh no.
Yeah. Oh no. I'd like to see that
then again I'd like to see you enter the king of the ring tournament.
More on that later on.
Wide open now Brian Knox.
From the second rope down.
Into the facial area. That should do it.
Oh you're not going to hurt the
nasty bars by hitting them in the head.
And again.
Hammering away. Ted DiBiase.
Big shot.
Your analysis of the matchup that's
far macho man. Boom.
Get ready for another pit stop.
DiBiase we gave on the IRS.
Let's do it for DiBiase also.
I mean after all
those greenbacks should be good for something other than
I can't think of a better thing than
the collection plate that's coming Sunday.
And you know the reverend Slick's going to be there
with the green. DiBiase
made a donation. I think well of him
now. Yeah I do too. That's a very nice
thing for him to know. Reaching
full attack Erwin R. Scheister.
Scheister ran in.
His partner Jerry Sags.
Sags
wailing away. He's ready.
Sags setting up an IRS
boot to the midsection and here we
go.
Big power driver.
Perfectly executed.
And Hughes helps out. That would have been
a freak out right there if it wasn't for Hughes.
Oh wait a minute.
All six feet in the ring now.
Kamala and Hughes going toe to toe.
Toe to toe. DiBiase
over and out.
Kamala with a headbutt.
Hughes licking the face.
Finally it's the Nasty Boys teaming up
against IRS and Hughes over the top.
A lot of power on Kamala to do that to Hughes.
And the Nasty Boys
set. Oh yeah.
Right to the midsection.
Kamala with a lead.
Kamala with a last.
One, two.
And he only had him over.
Kamala
wanting the official account.
Kamala turns over
on IRS. But he turned
completely over on
his back.
Turn him over.
Turn him over. Look at him.
Look at him. Oh no.
Oh no this is bad. Oh no.
Oh yes.
But Kamala's a great guy man.
If you can only finish it up now.
He's done so well slick ass with Kamala.
Rub Rub Slick explaining
things to
the Ugandan giant.
Meanwhile it's money he can Mr. Hughes
victorious.
And again you say Slick explaining
now an ordinary manager
would be extremely angry.
Slick has the patience
of Job explaining
the facts of life
to Kamala. Let's take you now
face to face.
Okay champion Hulk Hogan.
Last time you would
not be prepared. My man
went 20 hot minutes
with Brad Hitman hot.
That's right 20 hot minutes.
Yes you were
fresh man.
But this time boy son
my man is prepared physically
and mentally. He's prepared just for you
Hulk Hogan. He's gonna tear you
apart piece by piece.
And that belt will come back
to my Yokozuna. Come
June 13
for the king of the ring. He'll be the
king of the ring. He'll be the new
WWF heavyweight
champion. You mark my
red hole boy and you will pay
for it.
You know they actually had the gall
to make me qualify
for the king of the
ring. And of course
poor Bob Backlund and
not paying the price. I really kind of
feel sorry for him. But what I'm really
looking forward to is that
number one seed because I will
be the final chapter. I
will put an end to the career
of Brett the Hitman
Hart.
Sensational one from this day
forth I will
haunt your very breath.
I will be your shadow in the
darkness and then soon
very, very
soon I
will wipe you from this
earth. And I
Luna Vashon
I
will be the goddess of this
square circle.
At WrestleMania Luna
Vashon you attack me from behind
and then on top
of that you come back in the emergency
room after you almost break
every rib in my body. You want
a piece of me little girl?
Well come and get it because you're looking
at a woman that invented
me and you want some of me
anywhere, anytime
one on one.
Here we are with a qualifying round
and the winner of this matchup
will be seated in
the king of the ring tournament
just who will be the
king of the ring. This man
thinks that he's the king of the
streets.
Oh he likes to
just take his time and
that's my cheese mow.
You know what speaking of time
it's a shame to see all
of the WWF superstars
wasting their time
trying to get into this king of the
ring tournament. Wasting your time. It's a waste
of time for them because they're
proving nothing. I am already
the king of the ring.
Anybody that wins this tournament will be
merely a pretender to my throne.
I see. Said so well.
Said so well for
an individual who won't even have
enough gumption as of yet
to attempt to qualify.
This gumption the same as guts.
Very close sir. A little bit lower
and a little bit off to the side. Oh but
here.
Razor Ramon.
And here we go.
Here we go.
Lead.
Chiquita Banana.
That can hardly wait.
El Matador.
Tito Santana.
El Matador.
King Jerry Rollins.
You know you're right.
There's a good chance
that Razor can lose this match.
He might slip on a banana peel.
Chiquita Banana.
The winning is
really, really, really, really good.
Probably would equate to his
wrestling skills. Well I think his singing
is a little bit better than that.
Nonetheless
El Matador ready to lock up
with Razor Ramon. And look at Razor Ramon
who is being
taunted a bit by El Matador.
This is a big match up between
two big superstars
in the World Wrestling Federation.
El Toro Ha!
Tito Santana
long time favorite
of the fans all over the World Wrestling
Federation.
A lot of people pulling for Tito Santana
El Matador right now against Razor
Ramon. I know why.
Santana has the wrestling skill.
He's got the quickness, the agility and the all around
power. And looking for the switch.
And the guts and the gumption to get in the
fight.
We can say that certainly those qualities
relate to Santana but not necessarily to
our broadcast colleagues.
Well he's the only
one around. Reverse psychology
won't work. I've told you that before. You're right.
You're not smart enough to get it. Oh yeah right.
You're right about one thing. Everybody's
pulling for Tito Santana to get ahead aren't they?
Nobody likes the one he's got.
Look at that hand. Look at that.
Even the Razor don't like it.
Oh he's hammering the head is what he's doing.
Yeah. Razor Ramon
taunting El Matador. I never thought I'd
see this. First he went around
now it's right Santana connects.
Now doing right back.
Get up. Get up.
Oh man.
I'm going to tell you something. I didn't see that foot go
over the rope. I thought we had a victory right there.
Santana
going full well all the way to this matchup.
Right flies to Razor Ramon.
He's dazed. He's leaning on the ropes.
And a heart attempted.
Look at this. Right in
mid-air Razor's having big
big problems.
And El Matador taking care of
business. Yeah what Tito
Santana's fixing to do is make the Razor mad.
Oh I see. That's right. Razor Ramon
is losing with problemas.
Problems.
Thanks for that interpretation. That's okay.
The king didn't understand.
He's not bilingual. No I guess he's not.
He doesn't even know English.
He's working on it. You guys just
talk amongst yourselves over there okay.
I think that's what we're doing.
Oh the rope right outside. Santana connects again.
Tito Santana winding up the
big Razor having his problems. Are you surprised
thus far Mr. Lawler with the outcome of the match?
He's just toying with him. The Razor just
toying with him. You're right El Matador is toying with
Razor Ramon. He's going to start leaning on
him. When the Razor gets mad he
could end the career. This could be the
Chiquita Bananas last match right here
in the WWF.
That's right.
Right across
the throat. The top rope.
And Razor Ramon getting very
very lucky with the use of that top
rope there. And now
taking full advantage.
Alright now we got an equal match right here.
So we got that
the gumption
you spoke of. And the guts yes.
Just a little bit lower to the left.
That's it. Razor Ramon hammering away.
You know if this is the Matador's last
match in the WWF. He's already got
a second job lined up.
He helps his fellow Mexicans
enter the United States
illegally. He does.
Another forearm. Down goes Razor Ramon.
Say what you will.
Santana's ready for this.
A big slam. Santana with the momentum.
Santana trying to set up
yes he does again. Razor Ramon.
Come on Razor. Go for the cover.
Tito. Santana's
going to do more than that. Santana
going up to the top. Santana's
going to finish this thing watching for all.
Waiting for Razor to spin.
Yes. Got it.
He's got the tights.
I can't believe that. He got it.
One two three.
Riding left. Riding
on the shoulder.
Matador's lucky still got
the pants up when he pulled those tights like that.
Razor Ramon victorious.
Waiting
on his shoulders. Let's go back to
the replay. Yeah watch this.
Yo watch this.
This is a wrestling move and it finishes
up by cheating. Look at that.
Look at the tights. My handful
of tights right there.
And the last chalk of a victory
for Razor Ramon.
As we take you now
face. Ladies
and gentlemen my guest this week
stands nearly eight feet
tall. Accompanied
by Harvey Wippelman.
Here's the giant
Gonzalez.
An awesome creature.
Eight feet tall.
Giant Gonzalez
and he has a bad disposition
to match his overall
height and girth. He is
indeed a giant
among men.
May have a bad disposition but he's got a great
little manager there. A great
manager huh? I love Harvey.
Harvey hoping to manage
Mr. U. He's really
in the bag. Harvey
Wippelman right here next
week your giant Gonzalez
will face the Native
American Tatanka.
And I state
you have not seen the last
of The Undertaker.
Well that's just for now
Raymond Rougeau. You've got
to realize that yes I admit
that The Undertaker has
kept on and kept on and
kept on coming back.
But that's not because of guts.
That's not because of tenacity.
That's because of sheer
stupidity. That's
because he doesn't have enough sense to
realize that when he signs
for one more match with
the giant Gonzalez that will
in fact be his final
match. When The Undertaker
gets carried out again
he's not going to get up and come
back because when he gets carried out
again Raymond Rougeau
he's going to be carried out to stay
once and for all.
I promise you that.
And
as far as Tatanka
the Native
American is concerned he's
only going to be the next in a
long long line of
opponents who are going to be
destroyed, decapitated
and eliminated from the
World Wrestling Federation
by the giant Gonzalez
because Mr. Rougeau
Tatanka really
thinks that he's going to advance
in the King of the Ring
tournament by stepping in the ring
with the giant Gonzalez.
But I've got news for that
red headed idiot
when he does step in the ring
with the superhuman
8 foot tall
443 pound giant Gonzalez
he's going to be knocked out of that
tournament and knocked clear out of
the WWF.
Tell him Giants.
Goodbye
India. There you have it
next week giant Gonzalez all
8 feet on him squaring up against
Tatanka in a qualifying round
for the King of the Ring tournament
right here.
You should really
be ashamed of yourself
wanting a gift for yourself
for Mother's Day. You should go out and buy
your mom something real nice.
She's got some real nice speed.
Well I think she might debate that point with
you but came right down to it
and one thing's for sure Bobby this guy
right here is not nice what so ever.
Not at all.
She better give me some nice eye on the
mortgage on her home.
This is a very high
stakes matchup to say the least
a qualifying match
for the King of the Ring
tournament Papa Shongo
330 pounds
a real powerhouse
but I'm putting my money
on my good buddy and right there he is
Hacksaw Jim Nugget
That's right the man who rides in the pick up truck with you
big wild mouth
one thing I hate Rock
that's a guy with a big mouth
and listen to this crowd
they are behind this man
Hacksaw Jim Nugget
You will find through life
that most humanoid
will back another humanoid
Big Hacksaw
makes his way to the ring
he's going to give up a few pounds here
to Papa Shongo
I won't be pulling Shongo's hair we know that
Hacksaw Nugget
is playing the
red white and blue of Old Glory
and with a trusty 2x4 in hand
Everyone's making a big deal
on a leaguer's arm
but they let that moron carry a 2x4
in the ring and say nothing to him
Papa Shongo
nailing Hacksaw from behind
and hammered him with a headbutt
right hand by Papa Shongo
very aggressively here in the early going
hard to keep ducking down isn't it
he's a real fierce competitor
reverses the whip
and rocks Papa Shongo
but doesn't take him down
not yet, not yet
he rocks him again
and Hacksaw getting some additional momentum
and clenches him this time
with that clothesline
he loves the people don't he
he really does
he genuinely will sign autographs
all day long if necessary
I've seen him stand after a match
outside the arenas and sign and sign
for every little one
because he can't get the name right
the first couple of times
he has to keep going over and over until he gets it right
Irish whip
where do you come up with it
set a little early
set a little bit early there
and got a hammer
like I said
the guy's not the brightest guy walking the streets
graduated from
Southern Methodist University in Dallas
wow
those are credentials
outstanding university
and Papa Shongo trying to find a hump
out of Hacksaw Jim Duggan
ever hear of UCLA
thank you
and you're trying to make me believe
that you attended that university
in Los Angeles, California
where I live
a couple miles
Shongo with a headbutt
lower abdomen
and he is, Shongo has been extremely
aggressive in this contest
well he knows what it is to get in that
king of the ring tournament and he's got to get
by Duggan to get in there
that means a lot of prestige and a lot of money for a lot of people
we know that
Bret Hart is the number one seed in that
tournament
qualified
last week
how about that main event
oh man
that is going to be something
Yoko Zuna
goes for the gold again
Hulk Hogan, what a challenge for the Hulkster
gets a 505 pound
Yoko Zuna
Papa Shongo has that huge arm
and a
rear chinlock
and he's not choking, it looks like a choke
referee Danny Davis
great position to see if it was a choke
apparently it isn't
and Shongo using that 330
pound weight
trying to crimp the neck of Hacksaw Jim Duggan
you know what's great about wrestling Papa Shongo
if you get him in the right
hold you can also read him
yes some rather
bizarre tattoos
a lot of them as a matter of fact
let's see another man with a tattooed head
later in this broadcast
Bam Bam
and Shongo used the hair
to take Duggan back down and of course
he's going to deny it
come on squeeze him
squeeze him, squeeze the beard
right off that ugly face
Shongo's a
extremely strong athlete
and who knows when he's going to come up
he can do some strange things
real strange
Hacksaw Duggan
finds himself in a very defensive
situation here
he's got to come up with a counter
brain
he'll never do that
too dumb to give up
see the secret is when you say I give up
then when he releases the hold you grab the referee
for a ring of the bell and say I'm just kidding
and you turn around and you really walk over the guy
oh Papa Shongo
very neat
right into the
old breadbasket of Hacksaw Jim Duggan
and down hack those one more time
he's ahead on points
so far
Irish whip far side
Duggan in trouble here caught for Shongo
taking too much time
and Shongo found
nobody at home on that
particular maneuver
and Big Hacksaw with those big hams
finding their mark
has Papa Shongo
really
that back body
drop
Hacksaw Jim Duggan
down at three point stands
and runs right through
Papa Shongo
Hacksaw Jim Duggan
is in the
team of the ring tournament
on June 13th
on his calendar
and doing an overlock
who's going to read it to him
I said he goes to UCL
you got me confused you went to SMU
same to you
Hacksaw Jim Duggan
got good hands too
watch his hands
where do you think you are
a little dweeb
Hacksaw Jim Duggan advancing in the king
to the king of the ring
on June 13th
fair catch
hard to do with a guy
watching a fly with one eye and you with the other
please Papa
that's very important
fans there's a brand new feature
for you
called face to face
almost sure get me this year
ladies and gentlemen my guest this week
some say she is a marked woman
here she is
Luna Vachon
there she is brain
there's my centerfold
she might be the centerfold for bizarre
digest or something like that
you know her father
is butcher Vachon
mad dog Vachon
the toughest man
I've ever met in my life
and the fans here
looking on in awe at this very
unique person
shall we say
Ms. Vachon
with all due respect
sensational
Sherry says that
your days are numbered here in the
World Wrestling Federation
but sensational
Sherry
is nothing but an old
head
in fact
she is little more than
a witch
she is
just jealous
of me
in fact
you are
all jealous
of me
and my pure
natural beauty
I am
the true
woman
of the 90s
in fact
using
mere words
to describe
me
is like using
a screwdriver
to cut
roast beef
anything
known
when I step foot
into the square circle
I turn
into a rabbit
mad dog
and sensational
Sherry
when I
take my things
into you
I will
tear you
to shreds
She's sick
she is a sick human being
beautiful
Mr. Fuji
very well familiar with the sands
of time
very familiar
with Yokozuna as a matter of fact
he is listening
right now
Halster what in the world are you hearing?
Well you know me Gene
as the white Bengal tiger
the Halster himself puts his ear
down to the sands brother
on Venice Beach California
all the way down to Clearwater Florida
on the sands here
I hear the fear in Yokozuna
in Mr. Fuji's walk brother
as they strut through Tokyo Japan
as they strut through the markets
buying the stinky fish
they realize Hulk Hogan
has had it with Hollywood brother
they realize Hulk Hogan
is going back to the ring
and the only reason I'm coming back
brother is to prove
that winning the belt
for the fifth time bruh
was no fluke
that winning the belt for the fifth time
was destiny brother
the fifth time proves
that Hulkamania will live forever
do you doubt my words?
Not for a minute as of course
we have talked about in recent weeks
initially after WrestleMania 9
the big protest the big bruhaha
and then the decision
of President Jack Dunny
however all along Mr. Fuji
has contended that he was
robbed this title was stolen
from him and Japan
I'm not worried about the bruhaha
or anybody drinking bruhaha's
I've been on the brink of disaster man
drinking
my own sweat
to survive waiting for Jack Dunny
to decide should he
or shouldn't he strip the belt
from the immortal Hulk Hogan
but even if he did take the belt from me
which he didn't I would have ripped it
right back off Yokozuna's waist
whatcha gonna do
when the strongest force
of Hulkamania runs wild
on you
you know I told all my
fans that have been supporting me
that I was gonna get right back on track
and that's exactly what I'm gonna do
I'm the first seed in the king of the ring tournament
and all I know is I don't have an opponent yet
and you know something? I don't care
I don't care who it is
cause whoever it is you will be
excellently executed
by the best there is, the best there was
and the best there ever will be
hey folks
my basango went down
and it wasn't a wrestling match
it was a fight, now the king of the ring
is in sight and oh hack saw
Jim Duggan's strategy as attack
attack, attack and never quit
tough guy
Mr. Perfect
next week we get to meet in the ring
for the second time
you're perfect, so what does that make me?
you're equal
now it's for the king of the ring
in it's serious this time
I was playing with you last time
but now
there is no
clowning around
doink, you consider yourself
equal to Mr. Perfect
you didn't look too perfect when I had
you in the perfect flex and the bell
saved ya, well next week we're gonna
do it again and I guarantee ya
there will be no
bell to save you
it's raw talent
that's got me
to the top of the world wrestling federation
and tonight hack saw
Jim Duggan is gonna find out
why
I'm the world wrestling federation
yeah
go
do it
go
do it
go
and Bam Bam's in big trouble tonight.
Well, this is for the king of the ring, qualifying, guess what, Ty Boon.
He wants it big time, man, I talked to him already.
Bam Bam waiting patiently for his opponent, the building sucks the rock.
The building sucks the shake, hold on, hold on, into the ring.
Can you imagine two men this size going for it?
They're going for the honor to be in the king of the ring.
My money's on Bam Bam.
Bam Bam looks more intense.
He's pacing, he's walking back and forth, he is ready.
Over 700 pounds in the squared circle, not counting the officialness.
Of course, a qualified match for the king of the ring tournament to be held on
Sunday, June 13th.
I got a question for you, who's got the weight advantage here or does it matter?
Ty Boon by hair, off the rope, Big Bam Bam, move.
Nobody goes anywhere.
Bam Bam Bigelow, Ty Boon.
Talk about the beef, take a look at it here in the WWF.
And again, no one goes anywhere.
Looks like two 18 wheelers on the interstate, hitting head on.
Both men wanting to qualify for the king of the ring tournament.
Off the rope, Bam Bam, and again, shoulder lock, and no one goes anywhere.
Irresistible force versus the immovable object.
Ty Boon coming underneath now.
And trying to really get underneath and done.
Wow, I've never seen Bigelow slam.
There's a lot you haven't seen, you're gonna see it tonight.
Savage, you give me any more trouble, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
Would you please?
He starts on me, Vince, all the time.
Yeah, I know.
He's jealous of me.
He picks on me.
I hate everything he does now.
Get a life.
Ty Boon now with a rest lock here on Big Bam Bam Bigelow.
The winner of this matchup continues.
They will qualify for the king of the ring.
And a scoop here and a, no, he can't, well, he does.
Slams him across the elbow.
And Bam Bam just able to get Ty Boon on.
Oh, look at this, he misses.
Both men tenacious, both men want to be a part of the king of the ring tournament.
The headbutt.
That's usually your head, dummy.
If it works, why not?
That's right, that's what I always say.
Yeah.
You have to, nah, never mind.
Yeah, well, I'll tell you one thing.
We are lucky to see the Intercontinental title change hands right here tonight on
Monday Night Raw.
Jack Tony, president of the WWF, forcing Shawn Michaels to once again return,
justifiably return, and defend the title in this most unusual manner.
And if you've never seen a Lumberjack match, you're in for a treat.
Randy Savage, you've been in a number on it.
Yeah, absolutely.
Shawn Michaels' intentions were good, mouthing off in front of the Manhattan Center.
But his timing was- Whoa, what a suplex.
I'll tell you something, Savage.
Tell me one thing.
I always thought you did this, but I know-
Look at this.
All the way to the outside now.
But I know Tony can be bought.
I know Tony, you can grease his palm real easy.
That's why I think Hacksaw Jim Duggan did this.
Wait a minute, Typhoon to the outside now.
Typhoon, bam, bam, back in.
Nail, nail, nail.
There, good move.
To the head, Typhoon hammering away.
Come on, Ruff, get in there, do your job.
Oh, no, Typhoon in the ring post, down on the metal steps to the outside.
That's gonna be a tough one to come back from right there, Typhoon.
It just shows you how bad everybody wants to be in the King of the Ring.
I'm sorry for interrupting you.
I didn't mean to, excuse me.
I'm very sorry, I'll tell you right.
And again, attempting to get back into the ring, Greta with another hammer there.
Typhoon.
It looks to me like the top of Bam Bam's has been busted open a bit.
I would imagine that's just a tattoo.
And again, it seems to me if anyone's gonna be busted open,
it's gonna be the big man Typhoon.
Ruff's started for Typhoon.
384 pounds on him.
Absolutely.
Look how tough this Bam Bam Bigelow is.
What? I mean, he's got like a three or four inch gash in his head.
He's not even reflecting.
He is one tough customer.
You know, you've got a point there at the top of the head.
Now we can see, yes, the gash.
That's not a tattoo.
However, Typhoon-
It's not a metal bug either.
Typhoon suffering the consequences of the attack of Bam Bam Bigelow.
So the big man slowing down both of them Typhoon a bit more.
Bam Bam may punch himself out.
You never know how this is gonna turn out.
Well, you know what slows Typhoon down, don't you?
Watch that. Twinkie.
You think I'm quiet?
Hostess cupcakes, then.
I'm sorry.
Bam Bam, notice how he's using his weight to his advantage.
Leaning down on Typhoon.
Applying pressure in every way.
He uses his weight to his advantage at dinner.
That's 360 pounds, and look at this.
Typhoon trying to come out of it.
Turning into his man.
To the corner, nice maneuver.
Typhoon trying to once again mount an offensive,
beating him to the punch under the kick brother there is Bam Bam Bigelow.
Bam Bam, the reverse front face block.
And the matchup will continue when we return with more Monday Night Raw.
Welcome back to more Monday Night Raw.
We are live at the Manhattan Center.
This is a qualifying matchup for the king of the ring, and
these two have been going at it.
Back and forth, seesaw matchup.
Bam Bam, follow right now, to the buckle, Typhoon moving in.
Bam Bam, getting out of there.
You know, I'm very surprised that two big-
Wait a minute, look at this.
Wow, look at that back.
Wide up on over by Bam Bam, yes.
Give Bam Bam credit right there.
Bam Bam to the outside now.
Bam Bam perhaps thinking he can finish off Typhoon.
Third floor.
Bam Bam going up to the top, 360 pounds, to the top rope now.
He's got him, he's got him.
He deserves it, he deserves it.
One, two.
Bam Bam's in, he's in the king of the ring.
Yes.
Bam Bam.
Bam Bam victorious, and Bam Bam has qualified for the king of the ring tournament.
And did you notice exactly the way he polished off Typhoon?
It was reminiscent of someone else by the name of Tatanka.
The Native American, yes, you're right.
And Tatanka, I'm sure, is gonna be watching that, but it doesn't matter.
Bottom line, Bam Bam's in the king of the ring tournament.
Victorious Bam Bam, big alone as a tag team combination, knocking on the door of the WWF.
Conducted by, making her debut in the WWF, Miss Bonnie Blackstone.
My guest this week is certainly an object of spectacle here in the World Wrestling Federation.
Ladies and gentlemen, the narcissist, Lex Sluber.
Atlas is in the ring, she's in the ring.
Is the
best
Obviously, Mr. Lee, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Obviously, Mr. Lugar, I have to hand it to you.
Quite a very impressive physique to say the least.
I was wondering, however, though, if you wouldn't mind, if you could just give us a little pose
or maybe share a little bit of this awesome spectacle here in the World Wrestling Federation.
Certainly, one has to notice these explicit forearms.
Obviously, as we take note, we see definition, vascularity, size,
and one can't help but notice, ladies and gentlemen,
these two screws which seem to protrude from your skin area,
screws which in fact hold a six-inch steel plate in place in your forearm.
Does this not give you an unfair advantage over opponents here in the World Wrestling Federation?
No, we really don't need to get into that.
The ruling's been made, the decision's been handed down, and that's it.
Mr. Lugar, let me remind you that several referees have taken it upon themselves
to demand that you wear a protective covering over this forearm in World Wrestling Federation matches.
I know this doesn't bode well with you.
Let's not stir up anything that doesn't need to be stirred up.
The decision's been made, and it's final, they're powerless.
But Mr. Lugar, we have spoken with the fans of the World Wrestling Federation
who demand that all referees deem it necessary for you to cover this six-inch steel plate in all future matchups.
This is almost like carrying a baseball bat to the ring.
This thing might as well be a brick, sir.
Well, who do you think you are coming out here the first week in the World Wrestling Federation?
I don't care what any of these stinking fans think!
I don't care what the officials or Jack Tunney think!
Because nobody, and I mean nobody, tells the narcissist, Lex Lugar, what he can and can't do.
Because I am going to the very top of the World Wrestling Federation,
and I will knock out anybody who gets in my way, even if I didn't have a steel plate.
I will step on anyone who gets in my way, especially you, Bret Hart,
because I am going to be the man in the World Wrestling Federation, and I don't care who!
I have to knock out the do-it!
Yo, Hitman, you so fired up, you so upset.
You really happy? You got a face Razor Ramon?
Chico, you on a losing streak, man. You a loser!
Now, take a look at the bad guy.
I on a roll, Chico. I already carved up one opponent.
And Hitman, you are next.
Alright, it's pick'em time. On his way to the square and circle, this 8 foot creature.
I got a question for you, King. Who wins the matchup? Who advances in the King of the Ring Tournament?
Is it the giant Gonzalez or is it Tataka?
I don't know. I am too busy looking at the macho man.
You said it's pick'em time and he has got his finger in his nose.
I will pick you to leave the planet Earth in about 10 seconds.
Let me do it, Vince McMahon. Just one shot, bang zoom to the moon.
Let's just stay with the broadcast.
Okay, you want me to pick the winner in this match? There it is, right there.
Why? There it is, right there.
Why? Why? Just look at him. 8 feet tall.
He's over 400. No, he's not 500. That joke goes to him. He's over 400.
I think he's approaching 500.
He's getting bigger every day. Look at him.
He is an awesome creature.
All the way to the minute.
I hate that sound.
You know where the fan support lies. Here he is on his way.
This guy right here knows it's not over until it's over.
What? Do the impossible, mission impossible.
Take the big band out. Beat him, Tataka, yeah.
And look at this. Giant Gonzalez hushering Tataka into the ring.
And the look on the kisser of Tataka is one of awe.
Appreciation as it should be.
That Tataka, he made that sound like a screech, Al.
He ran all the way to the ring and he saw his opponent and he screeched on the brakes, didn't he?
You know, I have to agree with that, Vince McMahon.
That was a little bit different the way Tataka came out of the ring.
Well, you can see a lot of the hair missing there.
Tataka has not grown back from the melee that Tataka and Bam Bam had.
Back in the dressing room area, some weeks passed.
Now it is time for Tataka to bring with him all of the spirits.
Of his forefathers in this insurmountable task.
Oh, look at that.
Scratch one or two forefathers.
Tell him, Harvey.
This is a qualifying matchup.
Whoever wins this matchup will continue on and will be in the king of the ring tournament.
And wait a minute. What?
Do I just remember that Tataka is still undefeated?
You've got that right.
Playing the undefeated streak on the line.
Look at this. Awesome. Giant.
Stay tuned, everybody. You're fixing to see history in the making.
Well, you will see history in the making, no doubt, when the Undertaker gets his mitts on the giant Gonzalez.
That's for sure.
So you're admitting right now that Tataka is not going to be able to get the job done, huh?
It's doubtful. It's doubtful. I agree with you there.
Manhandling Tataka. Look at the difference in his size. Tataka, 250-some-odd pounds.
But look, he has dwarfed it in comparison.
Twice as tall, twice as heavy.
Oh, I'll tell you what. I'll give you a good excuse for Tataka.
Maybe he's like the mighty Samson.
When he got his hair cut off, he lost all his strength.
Tataka for the ride. Off the rope.
Big foot by this awesome giant Gonzalez.
Did anybody like you when you were growing up, King?
Not even your mama?
No. I just wanted to know. Thought crossed my mind.
Yeah. If a thought ever came in your mind, it would die of loneliness.
Tataka firing off to the midsection.
Tataka caught the giant upstairs earlier.
Oh, yes. Chopped the big tree down.
Chopped that giant Sequoia down.
Going to work on the knee.
Tataka now, high-risk maneuver going upstairs.
Going to the top rope. Tataka now from the top rope.
Hopped back, chopped across the back of the head.
Tataka is going again. Look at this.
He can't knock that man off his feet.
Yes, you can, dude. Tataka down again.
The giant will fall.
Tataka going up for a third time now.
Will this one be the charm from the top rope?
Oh, right into a choke.
He's got him by the neck.
Giant Gonzalez with his favorite hold.
It's the most punishing hold that he knows.
He chokes and saps the strength right out of you.
This is Tatama to disqualify him.
The referee just went down. The referee just went down.
Disqualify him. Come on, Red. Disqualify him.
He didn't fall down. He was pushed by Giant Gonzalez.
Come on. Disqualify him.
That's it. I think he disqualified him.
Count him out.
Still undefeated to Tataka.
Not by means where he would want it to be.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute. That's what Harvey Webberman wants.
He wants Giant Gonzalez to choke Tataka right out.
Come on. Hey, wait a minute.
Release that choke hold.
Hey, wait a minute.
Another official rally on the scene.
The giant didn't care about the King of the Ring Tournament in the first place.
He wants to make a reputation for himself.
He wants to choke everybody out of the WWF.
The Undertaker to Tataka.
I guess it really doesn't matter.
This is a mean 8-foot giant.
He's mean.
Is it a completely different weight now?
Tataka.
This is too much.
Something else, brother.
Tataka advances.
He will be in the tournament.
I don't think he feels like a winner at this moment.
Thumbs down for this 8-foot, 400-plus giant Gonzalez.
Tataka is hurting.
Nonetheless, it still remains an undefeated streak on the part of Tataka.
But take your face to face.
Right here next week, a non-title match to see who qualifies for King of the Ring.
Me and you, Crush.
See, I'm the IC champ.
I shouldn't have to qualify.
You're the king.
But you're gonna find out being big doesn't make you good.
Being good makes you good.
You and Shawn Michaels, you keep telling everybody about how good you are.
Well, I agree with you, brother.
You are good.
Good for nothing.
I may have you in a non-title match, but this match is very, very important.
This match determines who goes on in the tournament of the King of the Ring.
I'll win to Shawn Michaels.
I'll show you I'm not only big, but I'm good too, bro.
Oh, you sucker.
This guy I'm wrestling today is gonna be awful tough.
You know he's over in the other dressing room.
He's big, he's young, and he's strong.
And he wants to make his name be double hacksaw.
So sometimes I do get a little after against him.
But then right before I go through the curtain, I got the American flag over my shoulder.
I got my two by four over my other shoulder.
I start going through the screen.
The people start saying, USA, USA.
The hair on my face stands straight up, the blood starts pumping through my heart.
The air is in my lungs.
I do the ring.
I slow it down down to the ring, and I do a hacksaw shift.
I get that fast beat, people.
USA, USA.
I got my two by four, two by four, two by four.
I got the American flag, American flag, American flag.
I slow it down down to the ring, people.
USA, USA, USA.
Well, challenge the 360-pounder.
We talked about his athletic ability
and double thrust right there.
Looks like he should work for a collection agency, don't he?
I think he used to be a bodyguard or something.
I know he was a great college football player at Kansas State.
Trump kick! Look at that.
360 pounds right up there.
Five, six feet up there in the air.
And that look on his face
pretty well tells how he feels about things.
He either hates the world
or he's sucking on a four-pound lemon.
I think the former as opposed to the latter.
I don't think he likes anybody.
No, I don't either.
Ooh, look at that. He just smothers you.
You got to be impressed, though, with his athletic ability,
his quickness. There's a lateral press there.
And he's just dominated Dan Farron here
thus far in this contest.
I haven't seen this guy really be challenged yet.
I haven't either.
You know, if I was still in the managing end of my profession,
I could really rip, I mean, make a lot of money with this guy.
You had it right. What?
Rip him off. I didn't say rip him off.
You done that? I said rip, rip, rip my cough.
Oh, yellow sore throat this week?
Yeah, I got it. New Mercedes at the winners' down
and the top down, too.
Another like buzzing through B.H. at the top down.
Silver spoon, Bobby the brain-heening.
I was not born with a silver spoon on my mouth.
It was a whole place setting. It was gold.
Oh!
Well, following him right in.
I'll tell you, as we said,
everybody looking to sign this big man,
including the evil Mr. Fuji.
Fuji? He's looking at him, too?
Sure is. Listen to this.
Mr. Hughes, Mr. Fuji, man, I'm serving you.
Been looking over.
You a very, very tough man.
Oh, very tough.
Mr. Fuji, you make a lot of yen.
You coming to me, boy, son?
You coming, Mr. Fuji, lot of yen.
Well, Fuji doesn't do anything when he sees one.
There's no doubt about it.
Well, you know, the Japanese have bought
over half of New York City.
They own Radio City Music Hall and all that.
They got nothing but money.
Very smart, intelligent people.
It wouldn't surprise me if Fuji didn't sign him.
Well, Mr. Hughes certainly has been dominant
in each and every outing here
in the World Wrestling Federation.
A whip to the center of the ropes, far side, and two.
You know you're right. That's a slam.
That side slam is just dominating.
Nobody's even pushed him yet.
Just no telling how good this man can be, fans.
When we come back, a special King of the Ring
report right after this.
If you don't know, let me refresh your memory.
I beat the Big Man Typhoon,
and that qualified me for the first round
in King of the Ring,
and none other than you, Jim Duggan.
You and your two-by-four have been walking tall
for too long.
Now it's time for you to go down in flames.
Hello, Bam Bam Bigelow,
first round King of the Ring,
and you're out here blowing fire.
Well, I think you're blowing smoke, tough guy.
Who do you think you got, some punk kid?
This is hack star Jim Duggan,
and I'm coming after you, tough guy.
This is what it's all about at the King of the Ring.
On June 13th, we're just weeks away
from the big showdown in Dayton, Ohio.
World Wrestling Federation Champion Hulk Hogan
defending against the big 505-pound
Japanese superstar Yokozuna.
You are here with the mouth of the South, Jimmy Hart,
your new and improved manager, Hulkster.
Before we talk titles,
before we talk made-for-television movies,
before we talk about anything else,
what in the world is your Harley Davidson
doing parked in the water here at the beach?
That's a sore subject with him, mean Gene.
You know, look at his motorcycle.
It's got to get rust all over it.
He don't want to talk about that.
It's all corroded.
That's right, man.
Well, you know, just before I landed in the salt water,
brother, I took her out of the shower.
And as I was washing her down and stroking her tanks,
as I wrapped the largest legs in the world
around her gas tanks, brother,
all of a sudden I got hit
between the eyes with a lightning bolt.
And as I ran down to the shores of the Pacific Ocean,
I put the front forks of my wide glide
in about three feet of salt water
and with a palm tree in one hand
and a hippie in the other.
I looked to the big brother in the sky
and I said in Dayton, Ohio,
who's going to be king of the ring?
Ha ha.
Guess what happened, Geo?
I want to know the answer.
The pythons started to swell.
The veins down the pythons
were filled with ice-cold water, brother.
And as I felt the power of the Hulkamaniacs,
as I felt the power of the pythons,
and as I realized for the fifth time
I was the greatest champion
there ever was, ever is, or ever will be,
I also realized that Yokozuno,
525 pounds of stench,
warden-fested Japanese,
was going over my head for the ride.
And as I slammed him down in the center of the ring,
he will bow to Hulkamania.
This should be a tremendous event.
Remember, ladies and gentlemen, two weeks ago
on Superstars, it was Mr. Perfect and Doink.
They went to a time-limit draw.
This is the return matchup,
and the loser will be eliminated
from the king of the ring competition.
Doink told me personally,
he was just playing with him two weeks ago.
He means business right now.
Well, if anyone in the World Wrestling Federation
knows the abilities of Mr. Perfect,
it would be you, Bobby, because
you were very close with him at one time.
That's right. You know, I'm not...
Before you ripped him off.
You fired another rip-off.
You stabbed me in the back.
Well, let me tell you something, Bobby,
and I'm gonna be honest with you.
Oh, that did switch.
That's a novel idea.
Of course.
Perfect, pound for pound,
is the toughest guy in the World Wrestling Federation.
He may be the toughest guy next to Andre
that I've ever managed,
but he's just... he's got a music.
You can't tell him what to do.
He will not take directions.
He will not listen.
He's perfect as long as you listen to me.
If you won't listen to me now, forget him.
But he's still pound for pound,
pound for pound, probably the toughest guy
in the World Wrestling Federation.
But he's squirting the people.
Yeah, he's a million laughs.
I think he's rather morbid myself.
Oh, he's squirting a little kid.
Can you believe that?
He's squirting that little boy
with that stupid thing here,
a flower, whatever it is.
The little boy's upset,
and Mr. Perfect's now gonna stand for it.
Perfect with right hands
coming right down the aisle here
to meet Doink the Clown.
And takes his hand right into the...
the steps leading into the ring.
Oh, what is hot.
By Perfect.
Really lacing the Clown here.
I don't like this Clown at all.
You're upset, Ross.
You really hate this Clown.
That little boy was almost ready to cry.
Oh, but that was water from the flower.
And what's that?
Mr. Perfect right to work on the leg
of Doink the Clown.
I just think that kid don't have to get
a regular Saturday night bath now.
You got it.
Perfect.
Great finding the leg, tying it up.
Now it's an Indian Deathlock.
Remember, you and I were talking here today.
Doesn't Doink remind you of different wrestlers?
You just can't put your finger on him.
He's somebody we know, though, isn't he?
Yes. He has...
But he reminds me of different people
at different times,
depending on the type of match that he's in.
Right, and then I'll see him do a move
that I'll know somebody does,
and I'll say, that's it.
Then the next thing he does,
I know that wrestler that did the first move,
couldn't do that, so it doesn't fit.
This is a submission maneuver.
One of the oldest maneuvers in...
Oh, raking the eyes.
That's an old maneuver as well.
The Indian Deathlock.
It's certainly a submission maneuver,
and Doink noticeably limping here.
His mobility a little bit lessened now,
and he catches Mr. Perfect with a sleeper.
Got the sleeper hold on Perfect.
He knows how to wrestle.
He's not just some clown
that wants to make people laugh
and have a good time.
He's here for a reason.
He wants some gold.
Well, his packaging is very deceiving.
Tremendous crowd on hand here again this week.
And we're happy that you're with us.
And again, Perfect focusing back on the leg.
That's the mark of a good hand wrestler.
You go back to the same hole.
No matter what else happens,
if you start out working on one part of the body,
you better continue with it.
You wear the man down.
He can't run on one leg.
He can't kick you with one leg.
He can't fight with one leg.
So you take the other leg out.
It's very simple.
It's all math-o-matic.
You know what I mean.
Well, I think I know what you mean.
And I think Doik knows what Mr. Perfect means.
And he means business.
He certainly does.
The loser of this match will be eliminated
from the King of the Ring competition,
as we mentioned.
So this is a must-win situation
for both these athletes.
Perfect really reaching back on that knee,
trying to stretch the ligaments there.
Look at this.
Step over leg lock.
And Doik finally able to counter.
But look at Perfect right back on that leg.
Single leg picked up in the spinning toe hole.
And he didn't get up.
He didn't get himself in a position
where he could have got hurt.
He crawled behind him and snapped it
and pointed to the figure four.
Perfect has the figure four.
He's got it perfectly executed.
Doik the Clown in a great deal of pain
in danger of having to give it up here.
I'd give it up.
They say that the figure four puts
tremendous pressure on seven points of the legs.
Or was it eight?
I knew I would be wrong.
You would be right.
Seven points on the leg
and the other points on your wallet.
Perfect has the figure four and Doik dangerously
close to the ropes.
He gets the ropes.
There he has it.
He made it.
There will be the break.
Oh!
But the damage may have already
been done here, brain.
The longer you're in it, the worse it gets.
And Doik.
Doik knew where he was.
He knew he was only a couple of feet from the ropes.
He grabbed Perfect.
He could catapult him out.
Trust you, he's a veteran.
He knows what he's doing.
But he could barely stand.
And he takes Perfect full face first into the steps.
His head just smacked the top of the ring steps there.
And Doik may win this one by a count out.
I'm not so sure Perfect can get back in the ring.
I don't think so either.
He's a competitor.
He wants to fight.
He wants to win.
He wants that money.
And here Doik one more time takes him to those steel steps.
And Perfect in a tremendous amount of trouble here.
I think he got his hand there this time.
He didn't get him as good as he did the first.
Doik again limping, slamming it.
Perfect's head again into the steps.
Doik the Clown in control here.
Take him apart, Doik.
Do something funny.
Make me laugh.
Take his arm off.
Perfect trying to grab the ropes and does.
Brings his way back up on the apron.
Back in the ring.
Nail him.
Hard form right across the chest.
I don't stop you, Timex.
Handful of hair.
And takes Perfect's head into the top turnbuckle.
We are seeing the bona fide mean strength that this individual possesses.
Pulled his hair, took him down.
Is Perfect gonna break it?
He caught him.
Look at that.
I'm telling you, this guy can wrestle.
He can break his wrist that way.
Pair the elbow out.
You can do a lot of damage that way.
I like that one.
I'm gonna do that on my shoulder when I get back.
Closed line.
From Doik driving Perfect in the ropes.
And again back outside.
This has been a very physical challenge matchup for both these athletes.
That's called taking out the garbage.
Perfect.
Watch the eyes on Doik.
Watch his personality change.
He doesn't have a personality.
He's got about 63 of them.
More of a human being.
Snap Mare.
And Perfect goes over and down to the arm bar.
I asked him yesterday, Doik, where are you from?
He said, where would you be from if it didn't matter?
Now what does that mean?
I left it alone.
As I think you should.
And there you see the features of the arm bar.
This guy is the exact opposite of what a clown should be.
Right hands.
And both guys hammering each other, right and left now from Doik and down goes Perfect.
And the bell sounds.
For what?
Tremendous offensive flow to both men.
But the bell has sounded.
Have we gone to another time limit draw?
What's the deal?
I don't understand it.
Let me get a call in here.
The free.
There's a perfect flex.
Come on, will somebody give me an answer?
What's going on here?
We need to get an official ruling here from the referee.
What's going on?
This could be the second time they have wrestled to a time limit draw.
Well, then they're both in the king of the ring then, right?
Oh, neither are you.
You've got to win.
Ladies and gentlemen, the time limit has expired.
The referee's decision.
The match is a draw.
Perfect is out and he's in, right?
Perfect's ready to get it on here and see if the clowns got the guts to get back in the
ring.
Perfect's going.
Perfect down.
Oh, it's not over yet.
I got something for you because I am Mr. Hughes and I guarantee you this.
This one thing, you will go down.
I promise you this.
I am Mr. Hughes, the man.
You know, Mr. Hughes, Kamala and myself are men who walk in life and we walk on the side
of the right.
We wanted to welcome you to the World House Federation and then we've heard those negative
remarks that you've made towards Kamala.
You got nothing to say.
Chargers behind, nice maneuver by Shawn Michaels.
Michaels underneath the clothesline,
he won't escape that maneuver.
Wow, poor man look.
And a corner crush with a headbutt,
signing up Michaels, no reversal off the rope.
Over Michaels, right back at him,
crush, catches him in midair.
Oh, look at that thumb in the eye.
Good move, good wrestling move.
I beg your pardon?
Good wrestling, good smart wrestling move there.
He's the only one the king knows.
Oh, Shawn Michaels and Crash going at it.
The winner of this match will qualify
for the King of the Ring Tournament.
There are two openings left.
Oh, can you imagine seeing this big pineapple hit with a headbutt?
Yeah, I can imagine that.
But Shawn Michaels can't imagine that clothesline
had no effect on Crash.
Look at this.
Michaels going up.
Oh, no.
Michaels going right up.
Look at the strength of the mighty Alliant Crush.
Yeah, that's right.
No, no, disqualification.
The official stopping touch from flowing.
Shawn Michaels out the fifth rope.
Here we go.
Oh, he's stuck him again.
How strong is this guy?
Bounce on the canvas.
And that could very well be the way
that Shawn Michaels' career is going down.
Oh, yeah.
All the way down.
That's it.
Dr. Bra.
That should be a disqualification right there, shouldn't it?
Definitely not.
What should have been a disqualification
was that eye gouge we saw earlier on.
No, he intentionally threw him over the top rope then.
Crush wants to be the king of the ring.
Can you imagine him with a crown on his head?
No way.
I can imagine most anyone with a crown on their head, except, well,
I'll say it's the king, Jerry Lawler.
I'll say it.
Quite a bit of coming outside now, Crush with Shawn Michaels.
And what's going to happen?
Crush wants to win this matchup.
He throws Michaels back in.
Michaels backing up a bit.
Look at the look at the termination
on the face of the original Hawaiian punch.
Oh, yeah.
Flat in the foot.
From there, it's Michaels for the ride.
Crush moving in.
Oh, yeah.
Michaels, the opportunity is driving
and he crushed to the outside.
Crush's intentions were good, but his timing was bad.
Shawn Michaels, quite an athlete,
taking nothing away from this man's promise.
Right now, it's, oh, no, the juicing back.
Yes, I did.
I love it.
I love the metal steps.
That's an equalizer right there.
Michaels, oh, no, another one going to the ring post.
Give me a break.
You find humor in this?
I love this.
I told you, it's no way that Shawn Michaels
is going to lose two in a row.
No way.
It appears to me these are desperate tactics
on the part of a desperate man, Shawn Michaels.
Michaels now with a handful of hair.
Michaels pulling Crush back through the ropes.
And the big Hawaiian is in a bit of trouble.
No question about it.
Shawn Michaels rules the day.
He just can't believe what he did.
The mistake he made by accepting the challenge
and taking on Marty Janetti last Monday night.
He can't believe he made such a huge mistake.
He thinks he got a raw deal on Monday Night Raw.
I don't think so.
Thumbs up to Marty Janetti.
Elbow by Crush.
And another one.
Crush off the rope, and no catch in the flow.
Oh, no.
There's the number.
The spin.
The tower's lying down, you guys.
Crush trying to set up Shawn Michaels down.
Across the rope, yes.
Big move.
Shawn Michaels didn't get much of him.
Down with a leg drop.
And Crush is going to soon be in the King of the Ring tournament.
He doesn't want to jump 30 feet up into the air.
Quarter roll against Shawn Michaels.
Michaels.
Oh, no.
Michaels in more trouble.
Michaels.
Oh-ho.
Three points, field goal.
One down, one.
I guess you call that legal wrestling.
And the novel into the outside.
Going out.
Shawn Michaels should not have been laying up there across the top rope
taking a snooze like that.
That was not fair.
I wish I was referee in this match.
Oh, no.
Elbow to the outside.
Sleeping wrestlers lie.
Michaels making his way back in.
I can't believe that.
To the outside.
That's unbelievable.
Crush hammering a leg right back to his feet.
Oh, no.
Wait a minute.
The bell has rung.
Both men apparently counted out.
No, I think he's disqualified.
Crush, hopefully.
Oh, no.
I hope not.
Crush back in the ring.
Michaels begging up.
Crush still wants to have a go.
Off the rope and.
Oh, oh.
Oh, my.
What a run over.
Stop him.
It's already over.
Hit him.
Going to roll like a propeller.
It's not over as far as Crush is concerned.
Get out of there, Shawn.
Shawn Michaels has had a bad week.
It looks like it's going to get worse.
Oh, yes.
Michaels in that voice-like grip of the original Hawaiian punch.
Crush is letting him have it.
Yes.
What is the decision?
Has the referee disqualified Crush, hopefully, right?
I'm not certain.
That would be a crime if, in fact, Crush was disqualified.
He's telling him, I think, you're finished.
Wait a minute.
What is the decision?
Booth men have been counted out.
Oh, wait a minute.
Neither individual will go to the King of the Ring Tournament.
We'll be back with me, Jay.
OK, Jack Tunney, the King of the Ring is one thing.
But there's a problem you're going to have to deal with after Dayton, Ohio, brother.
What are you going to do with Yokozuna's big, nasty, stinky, wart-infested carcass
after I press him over my head and slam him through the mat?
You know, Jimmy and myself, we put our brains together,
and we came up with a real good idea.
Don't call the city sanitation department, brother.
Don't go out and rent one of those double-wide U-hauls.
Just let Hulk Hogan straddle his FXR bad to the bone bike, brother.
And as I tie the noose around Yokozuna's neck,
I'm going to drag him two or three times around the block in Dayton, Ohio,
down the one-way streets.
I'm going to show everybody in Tokyo, Japan, if there's any question in their mind.
I'm going to show everybody in the hierarchy, in the Eiffel Tower, in the WWF,
if there's any question in their mind.
And if there are any people who are not Hulkamaniacs, any so-called nonbelievers,
I'm going to prove right in Dayton, Ohio, that Hulkamania is going to live forever.
The power in the Hulkster is felt through his little teeny Hulkamaniacs.
The credo of training, saying your prayers, eating your vitamins,
and believing in yourself, and believing in me, Hulk Hogan, is immortal.
It'll live forever.
Long after I'm dead and gone, there'll be a little Hulkamaniac
that'll have the WWF title.
But for now, it's your time, Yokozuno, to feel the strongest power on the face of the Earth,
the power of the Pythons, the power of Hulkamania,
and what you're going to do when the Hulkster and all my maniacs run wild on you, Banzai.
You know, I can feel my confidence building, and it's a great feeling
knowing that I'm the number one seed in the King of the Ring tournament.
And I look forward to facing Razor Amon in the first round,
because I'm going to prove to everybody that I'm not a beaten man,
that I'm going to go straight back up to the top, and I'm going to be the King of the Ring,
because I'm the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be.
I feel stronger, bigger, better, and just a little bit meaner.
Mr. Perfect, it seems to me that you like to run from me for some strange reason,
but this Monday night at RAW, for the qualifying match for the King of the Ring,
there must be a winner.
Ha ha ha! Check it out, I'm Johnny Polo, and get ready for an explosion! Ha ha ha!
Well, everyone, waiting for the presence of Adam Baum.
We saw Johnny Polo.
Take a look at this, would you?
Oh, yeah!
Come on, guys, you're so impressed with that crush. What about this?
Here is Adam Baum!
Well, I must say, I wasn't expecting this.
It seems as though this capacity crowd is very much impressed with the presence of Adam Baum.
Oh, my!
Coming in with an explosion, no doubt.
His first centeno!
Centeno, the lockup with Adam Baum!
Seeing him come and seeing him go, though, I want to see if he can stick in the WWF.
Yeah, 292-pounder, big monster, managed by Johnny Polo.
And I must say, I'm very much looking forward to seeing exactly what this Adam Baum can do.
He has come from out of nowhere.
Adam Baum with centeno.
Centeno seems to be in awe of Adam Baum.
First impressions are lasting impressions, like you say.
He's doing a good thing at the beginning.
Centeno yet to mount any sort of an offensive at all.
To the buckle he goes!
Out and oh, look at this maneuver.
Very impressive side suplex of sorts.
And by the way, King, surely you were impressed earlier on with the smoking guns.
Your impression thus far with this man making his debut?
I like the Adam Baum.
He comes straight from Three Mile Island, home of the nuclear meltdowns.
And dropkick.
There's a little meltdown of his own right there.
Quite a bit of dialogue going on with Johnny Polo and Adam Baum.
I wonder whether or not...
I think that's his real name, King.
Of course that's his real name, Adam.
A-D-A-M, Adam.
I mean, Baum, I mean that.
No, of course that's his real name.
Everybody here has a real name, like Gorilla Monsoon.
That's what his parents named him when he was born.
They took one look at him and said, what can we name him?
Gorilla, of course.
Oh my.
This is Adam Baum.
Adam Baum making his debut in the WWF.
Are you impressed, Macho Man?
Very impressed, but I was also impressed with Razor Ramon and Shawn Michaels
when they messed up on Monday Night Raw.
Anything can happen.
Exactly.
So I guess you guys think this guy laying face down right there
has a chance to beat Adam Baum, huh?
Well, what about Razor Ramon?
He lost to a guy that was doing pretty not so good.
And all of a sudden he's on top of the wrestling world.
Adam Baum making his debut.
And we've seen him come and we've seen him go.
But he can hang when it gets tough.
Whoa!
That was amazing.
The bomb was amazing.
Yeah.
A big guy that can move.
But we got a lot of them around here in the WWF.
You ready for the bomb?
Ready for the bomb?
Have you seen the bomb yet?
Huh?
Macho Man, have you seen the bomb yet?
No, I have not.
That was very impressive.
Over the top rope maneuver we saw just a moment ago.
Adam Baum, Johnny Polo, and oh!
That bomb was dropped.
And a three count.
I'll go on record.
I'm very, very, very impressed.
Here is your winner.
Adam Baum victorious.
I'll tell you what I'm impressed with.
I'm impressed with the meeting the Macho Man had
at a recent public school.
I'm impressed with the conversation that you had,
Macho Man, with a fourth grader by the name of Jasmine McNeil.
Now, ladies and gentlemen, Jerry the King Lawler.
Come on, Ross.
Get down on one knee.
Jerry the King Lawler.
Oh, he's sick.
In his own mind, he's a king.
And you peons out there are about to have the privilege
of witnessing what will truly be the greatest interview
segment in the entire history of the World Wrestling Federation
because it is going to be hosted by yours truly,
the King of Wrestling.
And it is going to be such a big interview segment.
It is going to be such a colossal interview segment
that it is only fitting that we start it off with a man
that is truly big.
A man that is truly colossal.
A man that is truly a giant.
I'm talking about the 8-foot tall,
over 400-pound giant Gonzalez.
You know, Lawler's about 6'1 or 2,
so that'll give you some idea on just how big this man is.
He is accompanied by...
Look at that.
...one of the greatest...
Look at that.
He's an awesome physical specimen.
There is absolutely no doubt about that.
Mr. Harvey Whippleman.
He's had his share of problems with the Undertaker.
No doubt about that statement either.
Take a look at this.
People are in awe of this guy.
Now, Mr. Whippleman, I want to welcome you
and giant Gonzalez to the King's Court.
Is this lovely or not?
Oh, it's wonderful, and I'm very honored
and appreciative to be standing here
as the initial guest on the King's Court.
Thank you for having us.
The giant Gonzalez feels the same way.
Now, let me just say
that this man is not to be taken lightly.
This man is like dynamite.
Comes in small packages.
And this man has a memory second to none.
You go around reminding elephants
of things they forgot, don't you?
And in the back of your memory
are some events that took place
concerning the Undertaker.
Don't get the giant upset.
The Undertaker is very, very popular.
First of all, Mr. Whippleman,
let me apologize for these
imbecilic idiots out here
who don't know how to treat somebody
with the proper respect that they deserve.
Tom King.
But as I was saying,
when you managed Kamala
and you were taking him to the heights
of the World Wrestling Federation,
along comes the Undertaker.
And when he put Kamala in that box of his,
it did something to that little pea brain of Kamala's.
It made him where he was never the same,
and it cost you millions of dollars.
And you vowed revenge,
and this, I think, is your revenge.
Is that right?
Exactly, King Fish.
It's just like this.
I told the Undertaker
when he destroyed Kamala
that I had a big surprise for him.
And you know what?
When the Royal Rumble came down,
I showed everybody that I was not lying.
I had a truly big surprise,
a giant surprise,
an eight-foot-tall,
443-pound superhuman surprise,
and we eliminated the Undertaker.
Right now, he's got one foot in the grave
and one foot on a banana peel,
and pretty soon, he's gonna be a-slippin', King Fish.
Oh, I love it, Mr. Whippleman.
And now, I think that the Giant Gonzales
has one thing to say to you, Undertaker.
Tell it.
Undertaker, I own you.
Yeah!
All right, ladies and gentlemen,
we still have not settled our situation,
and we'll have more when we come back.
That's right.
King of the Ring, in just three weeks away,
I'll be wrestling Jim Duggan in the first round
on my way to becoming the King of the Ring,
and nothing's gonna stop me.
And there's a couple rules here.
You not only have to win once,
you not only have to win twice,
but you have to win three times.
You lose, and you're out.
Jim Duggan, I'm in, you're out.
Bam-bam, Bigelow, to be some need,
it's gonna be King of the Ring.
Hello!
Hey, Bam-Bam, you got a lot of it right.
It is three weeks away,
and you gotta win more than one time,
but there's no way a tattooed bald man
is gonna beat Hacksaw Jim Duggan.
Sure, you wanna be the King of the Ring?
I guarantee ya, when you get in the ring
with Hacksaw Jim Duggan, I'm gonna crown ya.
You're blowin' a lot of smoke,
but when I get in the ring,
there's gonna be nothin' but fire comin' at ya.
Tough guy!
All right, thanks very much, me and Gene Oakley.
Indeed, this will be a qualifying matchup
for the King of the Ring Tournament,
and I can't wait to see that eight-man tag team event
on June 13th.
And brain, here comes Kamala without slick.
He's sold to the wolves is what he's doin'.
Well, he's big enough to be on his own,
but is he big enough to take care of Mr. Hughes?
That matchup is next.
What a King of the Ring qualifying matchup
we're about to see here.
Big Kamala will go one-on-one,
and his opponent making his way to the ring.
Making his way toward the ring.
Weighing in 300.
Very impressed by the athletic ability of Mr. Hughes.
And you gotta say that that little jerk,
whatever his name is, Whippleman,
really pulled off a coup when he signed this big man.
That little jerk, that went a capital J,
so I can write this down and get it down right
so I can relay it to the little jerk
so he can tell his eight-foot friend,
that big jerk, to take your head off.
You want me to do that?
I didn't say that John Gonzalez was a jerk.
You said he was a jerk.
His manager is rather undesirable,
and I think most people would agree with him.
You know, Mr. Whippleman here used to manage Kamala.
I know that.
This is gonna be very interesting.
And he outbid all the other managers
in the World Wrestling Federation.
And Mr. Hughes from behind, not wasting any time.
Big sledgehammer blows.
Kamala's in with a right-hand brain.
You know why he wears those glasses off?
No, really, I think it's a bad move, but why?
Because he can't.
You don't want him on, you take him off.
You say, Mr. Hughes, take those glasses off.
Irish whip, far side. That's not my job.
As Kamala boarded the contact.
Let's see how Kamala does without Whippleman.
Let's see how he does without Kim Chi.
Let's see how he does without Slick.
Hughes rakes the eyes, slows down the big man from Uganda.
He'll drop back with another right hand.
Kamala a little dazed there,
as Hughes buries that foot right to the ribs
and then to the head and now chokes him right on the ropes.
He's having problems maintaining the control in this matchup.
It's kind of like he was on his knees,
like he was crawling, looking for Slick.
He's lost without Slick, I believe.
He may be somewhat disoriented,
but he's got to be on his own sometime.
You know, if you have a dog, too many pets...
Of course I have a dog.
Anybody who owns a dog to me is a stupid person.
They like animals because they can control.
They don't like to deal with humans
because they can't match whips with them.
But Kamala's like a dog.
He's got to be on his own long enough
and it hangs out with you, it becomes dependent on you
for food, for shelter.
Without Slick or without help, he's lost.
That's going to make him dangerous.
Look at those drop kicks.
What is Hughes going at, 375, 360?
You got to think he's in that ballpark.
Great agility for a big, huge man.
And so many of the managers here in the World Wrestling Federation
were recruiting this man just like football coaches
when he came out of high school.
And this is a qualifying match.
The winner of this match is in the King of the Ring.
We're correct? You're exactly right.
Of course I'm exactly right. In the brain.
Kamala.
Tell me what...
Full extension of the last-minute martial arts kick.
The big splash, but again, he's showing signs
of being a little bit disoriented.
He's looking for Slick.
Looking.
Wait a minute. There's...
That's Kim Chi.
Look at Kamala.
Kamala has just forgotten about Mr. Hughes.
Kamala wants to get his hands on Kim Chi here.
And Kamala catches Kim Chi with those chops,
but the referee's counting.
Kamala has forgotten about Mr. Hughes.
He just splashed Kim Chi.
And I think that Hughes is going to win it here.
Kamala's been counting out of the ring.
See? He needs Slick at his side.
He needs some help.
Here's your winner as a result of a count-out.
Mr. Hughes.
That's exactly what's happened.
So Mr. Hughes will advance.
And he had Hughes ready.
It looked like he just would have turned him over.
He could have pinned him.
Kamala headbutted outside those shoes,
but Kamala has been eliminated.
And he brings him with him.
He's got a red for his life here.
Red for your life, Harvey!
The man's an animal!
Run!
Kamala chasing Whitman while we go.
Deface! Deface!
You know something, Hulkamaniacs?
It's great to be back here in New York City
on Monday Night Raw,
where Hulk Hogan rules five times WWF champion.
You, the maniacs are gaining momentum.
They're running wilder than they've ever ran
because I saw them posing in line outside the studios.
I'm getting ready for Monday Night Raw,
and there's a good reason for it.
Hulkamania's more powerful,
bigger than it's ever been,
with the five demands of the train and the prayers,
the vitamins, believing in yourself
and believing in Hulk Hogan.
We are definitely gonna live forever,
but you know something, Jimmy Hart,
Monday Night Raw has a special meaning
for you and me, brother.
You better believe it, Hulkster, because you see,
this is where it all took place.
Jimmy Hart, I became a Hulkamaniac
wearing the red, I'm wearing the yellow.
I'm saying my prayers, I'm taking my vitamins, baby.
I'm a Hulkamaniac, daddy.
Well, you know, we all know that the pythons
are the largest arms in the world,
but the only thing that's as large
as Hulk Hogan's pythons, brother,
is Jimmy Hart's heart, brother.
That's because he knows what the mania means.
That's because he knows
what the king of the ring and the main event,
Hulk Hogan against Yokozuna.
Everybody knows what that means.
That means life itself to me
and my Hulkamaniacs.
You know, I'm tired of going around the country
and having the non-believers say,
well, was it your lucky day, Hulk Hogan?
Maybe it was just a fluke.
How come he didn't slam the big man?
Well, you know, we're getting it all together
for Dayton, Ohio, and with the momentum
that I feel right here on Monday Night Raw,
with a pump on the pythons
larger than they've ever been,
with the shape of the triceps,
the deltoids, the pectoral muscles,
you know something, Jimmy,
Hart, once I sense
that big fat Juana sushi up,
once I point him in the north,
south, east, west direction
and show off the power of Hulkamania,
I'll slam him through the mat, brother,
and just like everything else
that I've said, it's been written
and it's been done.
So Monday Night Raw,
Vince McMahon and Macho Man,
friend of a kind, listen to me well,
he's going down.
But this time he's going down for the last time.
Whether it's a natural disaster,
whether the deck's stacked in my favor,
it doesn't matter
because the Hulkster lives,
the Hulkster breathes, and when you live
by the five commandments of Hulk Hogan,
whatcha gonna do
when the Hulkster five-time champion
destroys you?
Sayonara.
I've said it a million times in the past.
Everybody's got a price
for the million dollar man.
But especially all you New Yorkers,
you're always got your hand up
looking for a quick buck.
Right here tonight,
I'm gonna illustrate my point one more time.
I got a hundred dollars.
Wait a minute.
Erwin,
I think you and I need a shoeshine.
Hold my headset.
Sit down, Bobby.
I can make a hundred bucks just like that.
Who wants to make a hundred bucks?
Me, me, me.
I must say that we've seen Ted DiBiase
and Erwin R. Scheister
with this before.
I think they're looking for a sucker
is what they're looking for.
Everybody wants to pick up a hundred bucks.
Don't do it. It's not worth it.
It's only 25 bucks a shoe.
Trying to humiliate everybody.
Don't do it. Let's not have them get it.
No.
Again, this is an attempt on the part of Ted DiBiase
to humiliate someone.
He can't get nobody. Nobody's gonna do it.
DiBiase and Erwin R. Scheister just want to show
that their money can't buy anything.
They spread their money around.
They think money is king.
They think money is God.
But let's not prove it to them even if it was.
Now that little girl's gonna shine their shoes.
That's a young man, I believe.
With a ponytail?
Oh, man, he's shining on a hundred dollars.
I'm turning my back around
to kill what?
Heavy on the toe, kid.
That's right, that's right.
Well, all I can say is that this young man
is indeed being humiliated.
He's earning his hundred dollars here
on Monday Night Raw.
Quickest hundred bucks you'll ever pick up.
We've got double dunks. We have a young man
that's a million-dollar man.
There's a hundred dollars.
Wait a minute, Ted. Wait a minute.
Don't forget, kid, this is earned income.
Don't forget about IRS.
This is your first lesson.
That's right.
Here's your thirty dollars.
Thirty dollars? The deal was a hundred dollars.
That young man's been ripped off.
He's been ripped off.
He's been humiliated.
He's been ripped off by Money Incorporated.
My guess this week
is nothing short of sensational.
Ladies and gentlemen,
sensational Sherri.
Oh, take a look at this.
What do you think, King?
Let me take a look at my calendar
and see if this is Halloween or not.
It is nice to have you here.
What a magnificent dress.
What's not nice is the matter at hand.
And, of course, we're talking about Luna Vachon.
Let's digress for just a moment
and talk about how this entire thing
started to take place.
WrestleMania IX
showing up in the corner of Shawn Michaels
where she didn't belong.
The incident there at the first aid area.
And Monday Night Raw,
a cat fight to end all cat fights.
Just when
is this going to come to a head?
Let me tell you something, Bonnie.
Luna Vachon,
I know that you
will hear my voice.
You banked your butt on
one thing, little girl.
No matter what
it takes,
I will take the hair
that is within your head, which
compensates for
the lack of brain that you have.
I will take
every eyebrow from
your face and anywhere else I can find it
and take it out one by one.
And when the lights are
cleared,
when the smoke clears
and lights come on,
you're going to be down on your knees,
Luna Vachon.
You're going to be down on your knees
and you know what you're going to say to me?
You're going to say, Sherry!
You truly are
sensational!
You know, $2,500
is a lot of money to get back in the ring with you,
Mr. Ramon.
But the thing is, I know
that you're one upset guy
and you're not out to wrestle me
this time. You're not out to just beat me.
You're out to destroy me, cripple me, maim me.
And I just can't do it.
I've got a family to support.
And
this is the happiest day of my life.
This is the greatest thing I've ever done in my life.
I come back to the dressing room
after beating you.
I just can't even believe I did it to begin with.
I get back there, everyone's so happy,
everyone's so surprised.
And it's just incredible.
And I don't want to ruin the fact that I
actually beat someone on Monday Night Raw.
It's the greatest feeling in my life.
But I just can't accept $2,500
to get back in the ring with you. It's just not worth it.
It's just not worth it.
Oh, Mr. Perfect,
you're flying high now that you
qualified last Monday Night at Raw
for the King of the Ring Tournament.
Well, Bubba, you just jumped right out of the
frying pan into the fire.
That's right.
Mr. Perfect, you are going down
because I am the man.
So get ready,
Mr. Perfect. You won't be the King of
nothing after you step in the ring with Mr.
Hughes. You won't be perfect anymore
either, Big Daddy. Goodbye.
You know, Tatanka,
it's a rarity in life that
your fate can be determined
ahead of time. But in this
case, it's an inevitability
because your undefeated
string is about to come
to a grinding halt in
just two weeks. Sorry.
Narcissist Lex Luger,
something that was bestowed upon me
by the Great Spirit and all my
people was how to realize
reality. And Lex Luger, in
two weeks, you will realize
your reality and you
will be sorry.
Sorry!
And now, ladies and
gentlemen, Jerry
the King
Lawler!
The King's
Court.
Once again, it is
time for the
King's Court.
And I want all of you people out there
to treat me with the
respect that I deserve.
How's he figure
that? Come on, follow with me.
When I walk past each and every
one of you, you ought to get up out of your
seats and bow down
and kiss my
feet. Do you understand that?
Nobody here in this arena is
going to kiss his feet.
If I look down in this vast audience,
I see
a lot of individuals
that probably should be right up
there in that wrestling ring.
I see some people
with big, bulging
muscles and long,
matted, black hair on their bodies.
And you know what?
Those are the women!
But speaking of
ugly women,
I want to talk about one
that even has all of
you beat. I want to
talk about one now that is
so ugly that when she
goes to the beach in a bikini, even
the tide won't come in.
I'm talking about
none other than
Sensational Sherry.
Oh wow, you picked up
stuff this time, Lord.
Well, now
I've got a treat for you.
I'm going to bring out
a truly
beautiful
woman.
Something that all of you
have probably never seen.
I'm going to bring out
not only the most
beautiful woman in the World Wrestling
Federation, but probably
the most beautiful woman in the
entire world!
And here she comes
right now.
I'm talking about
none other than
ravishing, beautiful,
lovely
Look at her.
Eat your heart out right there.
Luna Bashan!
How appropriate
that I, the true
queen of the ring,
am out here
with the true king
of the WWF.
That's right.
Get a good close shot of this.
Look at that hair.
Eat your heart out, Vanna White.
Oh, and look at that
face. Eat your heart out,
Christie Brinkley. And look at
this body! Eat your heart
out, Demi Moore.
And that lovely voice.
Eat your heart out, Macho Man Randy Savage.
Oh, Luna!
Tell all of these imbeciles
what you have in store
for that witch
Sensational Sharon.
First of all, you all
can keep your stinking, rotten
mouth shut.
So that you
can listen to me,
the true, dominant
female voice
of the World
Wrestling Federation.
Sensational one.
When I am
through with you,
you will not be
referred to as
Sensational anymore.
The girls
won't call you
Sensational anymore.
The men won't
call you Sensational
anymore. In fact,
no one
will call you
at all!
Oh, yes!
Look at the beauty!
She deserves to be put on top of one of these
pedestals and worshiped
like the queen that she is.
I have one question before we
go. Do you know
Luna Bashan
the difference between Sensational
Sherry and Garbage?
Well, what's that
change?
Well, Garbage gets picked up once in a while.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
Okay, Hulks Logan, you
are the new WWF
Heavyweight Champion. That's right.
You stole, that's right,
your teeth! You stole it from
my Yokozuna. But coming
in the King of the Ring, you better be
prepared, because my Yokozuna
is prepared for you.
All people in Japan
is waiting that he will bring back
rain to the rising sun.
And let me tell you,
you better train hard
and hard you better, boy-san,
because my Yokozuna is waiting for you.
Yokozuna will take back the
belt, and once you are branded as a
thief, you will be branded as a thief
for the rest of your life, Hulk Hogan.
All the little hostels will be crying,
Hulk Hogan is a thief,
yes, you are a thief, a thief indeed
you are. Your Yokozuna
will bring back belt, and Emperor
Akihito in Japan will be very, very
happy. For all people in Japan,
we're proud of our Yokozuna.
Yes, yes!
Box on!
You know, it's good to be back on television
talking to everyone.
I still got my Lucky Raw t-shirt on.
You know, I was sitting back watching
WWF with my grandma and grandpa,
and
I look on the television,
there's Mr. Ramon, he's offering me $5,000.
I can't believe it, he's offering
me $5,000 to get back in the ring
with him. You know, before it was
$2,500, now it's
$5,000, and
it's a really hard decision to
make, but I don't think
I can accept the $5,000
knowing what could happen to me,
and knowing the consequences. I just can't
accept it.
We're back with more Monday Night Raw.
What?
What is the meaning of this?
You're not scheduled to be here until
next week, Mr. Fuji.
Mr. Fuji, how
dare you come out here, along
with Yokozuna, and wave
this flag, the only flag
it should be waving here in New York
City on Memorial Day
is the star strike forever.
What are you doing? What are you up to?
What is Memorial Day, boy-son?
You know very well, Memorial Day
here in the United States, if you don't know,
honors those who have paid the supreme
prize, Mr. Fuji, for
their country. That's what Memorial Day
is. We honor our heroes.
Welcome to
13. We will celebrate
Memorial Day.
Mr. Fuji, June
13 is the date of the King of the
Ring. Today is Memorial
Day. June 13 is
the date Yokozuna steps into
the ring with Hulk
Hogan. That's what June 13
is.
Your national hero,
Hulk Hogan.
Mr. Yokozuna,
speak!
Your Hulkamania
will die.
Your Hulkamania
will die.
Kansai!
Kansai is right.
Mr. Fuji, along with
Yokozuna, next week
Mr. Fuji and Yokozuna
schedule to be a part of the
King's court with the King Jerry
Lawler. And by the way, it wouldn't
surprise me if Hulk Hogan doesn't
show up here next week.
Oh yeah!
Look at Eddie.
Why have I happened, Boysong?
And what's going to happen? Come the King
of the Ring anyhow.
Bonsai!
In your dreams.
Looking at a new WWF
Heavyweight Champion.
Need I remind you of what happened at
WrestleMania?
I have short memory, Boysong.
I don't remember the past.
I only think about the future.
Why do you believe
Yokozuna will defeat the Hulkster?
One reason on Memorial Day, why?
Because he's bigger!
He's stronger!
And Hulkamania.
USA!
I can't hear you, Savage.
USA!
Hacksaw Jim Duggan!
Up on the capacity crowd!
USA! USA!