Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in welcoming the first lady of the World Wrestling Federation, Ms. Elisabeth!
Oh my, yes! Look at this capacity crowd!
Oh my gosh, she's knocking your socks off! She's beautiful!
She's not going to look bad either, does she? She's beautiful!
Look at this! Standing ovation for the first lady of the... Ms. Elisabeth!
You might get a note. She's beautiful! Thank you, thank you!
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. My goodness!
Hey Randy, something old, something new, something borrowed, borrowed, borrowed, something blue, you got it all! Go for it!
I've got nothing! Wait a minute.
You know, Ms. Elisabeth, there has always been a special interest by people around the world regarding your relationship with the Macho Man, Randy Savage.
And I must say, that interest has never been higher than it is right now.
You know, you have always been there by the Macho Man's side, and that was so obvious this past spring at WrestleMania,
when apparently the Macho Man's match and his career were over.
As he looked up, you were there, by his side as you have always been, Ms. Elisabeth.
Now then, what about the rumors, the speculation that wedding bells may be in your future?
Well, well, Gene, I just don't know. I don't know.
Ms. Elisabeth, I've got to ask you, how do you feel about the institution of marriage?
Well, how do I feel about the institution of marriage?
I feel that the institution of marriage is a sacred bond between a man and a woman.
No question about that.
Well, Ms. Elisabeth, now I've got to ask you, how do you feel about Randy Savage?
Well, he's macho all right, but he's macho in a way that I know him.
He's warm, and he's caring, and he's affectionate.
And there's some things that a lot of people may not believe about him, and one of those is that he's very tender.
My goodness, a tender macho man.
I just don't know what else to say, really.
I just, I love that man.
You chicken, you chicken, you get up.
She loves that man.
Get up that man. Get up and go for it.
Get some guts, man. Go for it.
Go for it. Go for it.
It's a man. Get up.
There we go.
The macho man, Randy Savage now.
He's making his way to the ring, but what's going to happen now?
I don't know. She's off for pretty fancy.
Oh, wow.
I can't imagine him being tender.
Is she talking about the same macho guy?
I don't know.
Ooh, yeah.
That's a nice way to ask her.
Yeah, well, we've never heard that before.
He's in fine form so far.
At least we know he can speak. He's uptight.
Eugene Oberlin, I've been thinking...
I've been thinking about returning to the ring.
Ay, ay.
Returning to the ring.
Come on.
He should be thinking about Miss Elizabeth.
I've been thinking about returning to the ring at SummerSlam.
Let me remind you, macho man, Randy Savage, contractually, your career is over.
Nobody tells the macho man what to do. Do you understand that?
He's going to get mad by the cover-up for nerves.
I've got something to say to the zillions of people all around the world.
And I've also got something to say to Elizabeth.
Maybe. Come on, you can do it, Randy.
Come on.
Elizabeth.
Elizabeth, I love you.
My goodness, he's getting it, folks.
He's building up his courage.
He's going to ask her.
What's that?
Look at that, hard rock.
Take a look.
Whoa, look at that ring.
He's going to ask her, folks.
What's the answer going to be?
Look at that.
Come on, Randy, don't pop out now.
Somebody said get on your knees.
Do it right if you're going to do it.
He's having second thoughts.
It looks to me like he...
All right, I think he...
She's too beautiful. Not now. Don't walk.
I've got to help him.
Get down on your knees.
Yes.
Elizabeth.
Will you marry me?
We don't have an answer.
He did it.
We don't have an answer.
He's going to ask her.
Elizabeth.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
We got us a win in our wing game.
How about that?
Give it up.
This is great.
Home and on.
The way it should have been all along.
What a party.
And finally now they will tie the knot.
Look at the look on the face of the Batchelor Man
from Miss Elizabeth.
All right.
A standing ovation from this capacity crowd.
Hey, Vincent, are we going to
draw one big bachelor party or what?
Ladies and gentlemen, it's a match made in heaven.
Yes, that's what it's known as.
A match made in heaven.
It's the Batchelor Man and Miss Elizabeth.
We're back with more action.
I'll tell you, the action is getting hotter or heavier
than what we saw earlier on when the Batchelor Man was down on one knee
and asking Elizabeth, will you marry me?
I've never seen him look better either down on one knee.
But you know, it brings to mind,
I wonder when the time comes when he has to be in the ring.
There's thousands upon millions of people watching him.
Can he get them words out?
I do.
Well, any problem with that?
The only question I have that if this wedding takes place
at Summer Slam in Madison Square Garden,
there are going to be 20,000 fans live there witnessing it.
I wonder when the preacher gets to the parking,
you know, like, does anybody object to this man?
I wonder if anybody's going to have anything to say.
Like 20,000 people stand up and say,
she's so beautiful, I will!
I don't know.
And the hitman is not going to be among the 20,000 to object,
that's for sure.
No, he's a fine gentleman, one of the best technicians
I have ever seen in the World Wrestling Federation.
What is he, two times World Tag Team holder?
Yeah, and hoping that soon somewhere along the line
he's going to have an opportunity to become an individual champion.
But when you're a tag team wrestler,
you do get used to having your partner there,
you get that security.
As a single bread hasn't lost yet,
I think he would make a tremendous champion.
This, however, will be a great test.
Haku, formidable to say the least,
one of the top wrestlers in the...
and unquestionably one of the toughest.
No doubt about it.
Of course, then again, Brett's career could end right here,
couldn't it? That's right.
Brett being smart, though.
You notice with Haku, he didn't take a fast approach.
He knows that Haku is much too strong to be done in one minute.
He knows what Haku is, he knows Haku's balance,
so he gets a hold and he's going to wear him down,
see where Haku's coming from.
Hang on, beautiful!
And again, you alluded earlier to the fact that Brett Hart is,
in fact, a technician.
Oh, he knows, just like the arm.
He had the arm.
You know how sometimes a boxer will take a couple of punches
to get one in?
Brett Hart there, he takes a slam, he knew it would hurt.
He held on to the arm.
Brett Hart won, he's got the advantage.
Armed barred by the Hitman now as Haku tries to find a measure of escape.
That'll do it, yanking the hair off the backside.
Hitman!
Too strong.
A cover!
One, two!
Shot by the Hitman.
Brett Hart ain't going to be pinned like that.
He's not going to get a one, two, three from a simple backbreaker.
Of course, when Haku gives you a backbreaker,
the simplicity does go out of it, but Brett Hart has got guts.
He knows what it is to get up off that canvas.
He knows what it is to drag his body up
and fight after he has no wins left at all.
Look at that nice turnover.
Yes, a reversal, and Hitman right back on Haku.
Now, Hitman measuring Haku.
Hard right hand spins him a bit and gets him rolling to a five-side.
Oh!
Sushing in there.
Wait a minute, Haku now drops.
The Hitman able to move out of the way.
He was going to be squashed by the elbow.
Nip and tuck match up here all the way.
Haku reversing things.
Brett Hart off the rope.
And all over the top.
He got him!
What a move!
And perhaps the Hitman is just one step closer
to possibly being an individual title holder.
Now, let's take you now to the update.
You know what the difference between a Gator and a...
superstar is?
Gator don't make all that much noise
when you're skinning him alive.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
We're back, but the Macho Man still isn't back.
Ever since Elizabeth said, oh, yeah,
he has been flying off the wall so we understand
he's anywhere but the broadcast booth,
but we're going to look forward to talking with
the Macho Man about his wedding to Miss Elizabeth
this Monday night on Flap Time.
Yes, he's on Cloud 9.
You know, as much as I hate him, I kind of miss him.
Really?
Well, you know, all they got is you to pick on now,
but that'll do.
Kind of like you miss a toothache, huh?
Kind of like I miss a toothache, yeah.
Exactly.
That's pretty good, Vincent.
I think so.
That's a nice change.
General Adnan, Colonel Mustafa, and Sergeant Slaughter.
You can bet the Hulkster's looking on,
and so is the Ultimate Warrior.
And look at these group right here.
Not such a nice change.
Talk about sell your grandma to the Huns.
This guy right here, you know, he ain't no sergeant.
He's the leader of the whole bunch.
The other two are just listening cronies.
It's just like some other people we know.
You know how they put a barrage in front of you?
You get through Mustafa, and once you get through Adnan,
Slaughter's gonna be so fresh at SummerSlam.
He's the one you gotta watch for, Hogan Warrior.
He's the one that's gonna do the serious damage.
Look at this guy.
There you go, Ultimate Warrior.
How do you like it, huh?
Wait a minute.
Sergeant Slaughter pretending as though...
Ultimate Warrior, Hulk Hogan SummerSlam.
That I say.
Yeah, well, you can bet between now and SummerSlam,
Sergeant Slaughter and company are really going to be riled up.
I would suggest there's no telling
what they are going to do to the opposition.
That's what's gonna happen to you, Hogan.
That's what's gonna happen to you, Ultimate Cute.
Just to prove a point.
Just, and the problem is in this tag match,
the handicap match, not only do we have a...
Boy, what a clothesline.
A special referee, but these guys make their own rules.
So Hogan and Warrior are going in there
knowing that, Absolute, anything may come down.
Anything may go.
They don't care about career moves, these guys.
They don't care about crowd appreciation.
They just care about naming and watch Slaughter.
Name he can.
Down to the canvas, Sergeant Slaughter continues
his complete domination over the opposition.
Jim Gorman has not had a moment in this match,
and it looks like he's in yet more difficulty here.
This certainly isn't Jim Gorman's moment.
Camel clutch applied.
He has surrendered.
Go ahead. Let it go.
Come on!
What is this?
Disqualify him, then, referee.
Look at this, even Avnon getting in his legs.
See, that's what they're talking about.
They make the rules. There are no rules.
Look at that, taking turns on him.
That's you, Hogan.
Not even Warrior.
That's you.
Shit. You pig.
Sergeant Slaughter, Jigalandon, and Colonel Mustafa
all trying to prove a point.
Look at that.
Hanging by a thread.
You're going to ruin a career here that hasn't even started.
You're dragging him back out.
Look at this.
Ain't beating him from pillar to post.
Oh.
Enough is enough.
That ain't the honor.
That's not good, Warrior.
That's you, Hogan.
That's going to be a last minute.
How cool is that going to be?
Some folks say there ain't much to skinning.
All you got to do is kill yourself an animal,
get a big old sharp knife, and peel back the flesh.
Well, heck, anybody can skin an animal that's dead.
The trick is, skinning one that's still alive.
Of course, you know, I got to break the back first
to keep them from squirming.
I wonder how them WWF boys are going to wiggle and squirm
right before I break their backs.
Hello, everyone.
Welcome to Prime Time Wrestling.
I'm Lord Alfred Hayes,
and now here are the stars of our show,
the broadcaster of brazen mendacity
and blatant prevarication,
Bobby the Brain, Henan.
Same thing.
I know, you're doing your job.
Thank you.
And now...
And now the disseminator of veracity
and bane of the brain,
the redoubtable gorilla Monsu.
What are you doing here?
What am I doing here?
You're in deep trouble again, Brain.
Why am I in trouble?
You know, my job now with the World Wrestling Federation
is varied and very complex.
You know, we tried a number of times
to ignore the thousands of calls we've been getting
and letters, because let's face it,
you're not a well-liked person.
But you've gone too far.
You're humiliating yourself.
You're embarrassing the World Wrestling Federation.
Me?
Yeah, you. Yes. Yes, you.
How? How?
How about the dog?
You absconded with the dog?
You're inviting children.
How about my friend Jameson?
You almost had him exterminated.
Well, he raised his hand. He volunteered for that.
He did not volunteer.
Talk about losing face.
How about last week right here on Primetime?
Well, that wasn't any of my doing.
Had it not been for Animal and Hawk and Gary Stridham,
you might well have literally lost face.
You don't believe me? You don't remember?
You've got a bad memory?
I'll refresh your memory.
Let's take a look at what went down last week.
It looks like it's clearing up.
This may be the best thing that ever happened to you.
Keep your eyes closed.
We're trying to get this off him, Dave.
All right, guys, all three now.
Not all three of you.
One, two, three!
God, no!
Oh, gee, I got a nose left.
Does that ring a bell?
Yeah, but it wasn't my fault.
It wasn't my fault. What did we do?
They sent you down to watch over me?
You're on your way out and you don't even know it.
What'd you hear?
We've got some very interesting guests
for the nighttime wrestling.
With the size and power of Sid Justice,
he could easily become another one of us.
A natural disaster.
Yeah, can you imagine? A volcano!
Natural disasters, you call them Sid Justice, a volcano?
You got it all wrong, man, because at any time,
you can erupt right in your face,
because Sid Justice is a bad dude,
but he's real good.
Hulkamaniacs, me and the Ultimate know what we're facing
when we go to war in Summer Slam
against Sergeant Slaughter and his troops.
We know they've got us out man,
but we've got them out powered.
We've both got the heavy artillery,
and we're playing by Slaughter's rules,
which are no rules at all.
Could be hangar aids, it doesn't matter,
but the terrain is going to make the difference.
It's not the swamps of Vietnam,
it's not the sands of Persian Gulf,
it's the beautiful massive square garden
where all the warriors and all the Hulkamaniacs
will unite to make the most powerful army of all, warrior.
All the Hulkamaniacs and the warriors
that have eaten the dirt from others in the sand
that you have taken from Sergeant Slaughter,
we have surrendered ourselves in a foxhole 10 foot deep,
and as I stand with the most awesome force
in the World Wrestling Federation,
combined with the sickness of my warriors,
let them speak and let the Hulkamaniacs attach themselves
to the concrete walls of Madison Square Garden,
because what you're going to do
with Hulkamania and the Ultimate Warrior
will destroy you.
Welcome, welcome to my party.
Uh, yeah.
Come on in, don't be afraid.
Do the word slime ring a bell?
Yes, slug.
Piper, you look tired, why don't you go lay down over there?
I'm afraid to, you're very...
Our special guests this week
are the number one contenders for the...
Tag Team titles, I present to you
the Legion of Doom.
It comes animal and Hulk.
These guys aren't scared of nothing
and we're going to find out if it's true or false right now.
Kind of looks like they belong there.
Yeah, they do.
They're right at home, don't they?
It is kind of comfy.
Gentlemen, it's pretty obvious to me
that you are hot on the trail of the...
Tag Team titles.
You know something, Paul.
You really slay me.
What's the name of that cologne you got on?
Formaldehyde?
Now take a good look and listen to me,
cadaverize.
We mean to keep you in business.
We're looking to send you a couple new clients.
Oh, are you talking about the Nasty Boys?
Yes!
Tell them, big man.
What is that morbid rotten odor out here?
Something dire what?
Nasty Boys, the hunt is on!
We are the hunters and what we want are...
Tag Team belt and we're going to stop
and nothing to get them.
When I put you on my shoulders
and Hook comes on the top rope
and gives you the doomsday device,
you know what it's like?
What a rush!
Well, I don't know what the odor was.
I think I know what the odor was.
It came from a certain area of Paul's attire.
You think he was nervous?
Living out here in the Glades really teaches
ethics.
Living out here in the Glades really teaches
a thing or two about getting along.
Like when you're out gator hunting,
you gotta lie real still.
So when they come swimming by,
you can jump on them,
take your knife, run it down their belly
and skin them.
Just like I'm ready for you boys in the...
I'm ready to skin you alive.
The Intercontinental Championship belt
in the Summer Slam.
Mr. Perfect, go ahead and bring the coach
because when you size the whole thing up,
we're just about the same weight, pound for pound.
We're about the same height
and we're about the same age.
But the big question is, who's the best wrestler?
Well, let me tell you something.
We're both gonna make history in the Summer Slam.
I'm gonna make it by winning the belt
and you're gonna make it by losing.
Dibi Asi.
That's right, you tried to take my pride.
But you couldn't.
That Summer Slam, man,
I'm not gonna take your pride.
I'm gonna hurt you where I hurt you the most.
It's in your pocket.
Because I'm gonna beat you
and become a millionaire overnight.
And the million dollar belt will be mine.
That's right, all mine.
At Madison Square Garden, Hulkamaniacs,
you're definitely gonna see the match that was made in hell.
The warrior's been through hell with Sergeant Slaughter.
I've been through hell and back again with Sergeant Slaughter.
And with Mustafa and General Adnan on his side, brother,
I guarantee you, it's gonna be all out war.
How about it, warrior?
We've both walked through the pits of hell
since entering the Ultimate Challenge.
And at Summer Slam,
with the combined power of the most in the universe,
you, Sergeant Slaughter,
and the corpse that follow you
have no chance to breathe through the poisonous air.
But what's different about this war
is we're playing by Sergeant Slaughter's rules, brother,
and with a special referee in the middle of the ring.
I just hope he doesn't get in the way.
I just hope he isn't biased towards Slaughter
because he could be the first victim.
What you gonna do?
Including the likes of Hot Rod, Rowdy Rowdy Piper, and IRS.
Scent justice.
6'9", 370 pounds.
I don't know the guy.
I don't know if he is.
I don't know if he is it.
But I'm dying to see.
Scent justice.
You're just the man I've been looking for.
With your size and intensity,
you're a prime candidate for my chief tax collector.
And you know what?
That means you tax cheats out there
wouldn't be able to cheat one more day.
It's Summer Slam,
Hitman Heart for the Intercontinental title.
And like our game plan,
I want you to go out there
and destroy him completely at Summer Slam.
I've never let anybody down in my life,
let alone myself.
Hitman Heart, you may be good,
you may even be great,
but when it comes to this, you're far from perfect.
De Plaine, boss, De Plaine.
You remember that, Virgil?
That was Fantasy Island.
And for you, Fantasy Island is going to be Summer Slam.
And this is your fantasy.
You can become a millionaire overnight.
All you have to do is beat me for this.
Never happen.
What an event that's going to be on a Monday night, August 26th.
Madison Square Garden.
Let's go to the Barbershop in Brunei.
Welcome to the Barbershop.
You know, everybody knows that in Summer Slam,
the Million Dollar Belt is going to be up for grabs.
About time.
That's right.
But my next appointment is just about here.
And this guy has really been getting the dander up
of the Million Dollar Man.
He's really been in his hair.
That's right.
I'm talking about Virgil.
Come on, Andrew.
Oh, listen to the ovation for Virgil,
former bodyguard of the Million Dollar Man.
You know, Virgil, everybody out there at one time
has dreamed about being rich, about having it all,
about never worrying about anything
for the rest of their lives.
But you, brother, you got a chance
to make that dream become a reality.
That's right, B.
At Summer Slam, Ted DiBiase
is putting the Million Dollar Belt on the line.
He's putting it up for grabs.
Winner takes all.
And all I have to do to get it is to beat him.
Now, let's use this other thing.
Imagine that.
One million dollars in gold and diamonds around my waist.
Right here.
Looks in good shape.
It's a dream, beefcake.
It's like a lottery.
And I got the winning ticket.
Right here.
Sorta looks like a bridge.
DiBiase at Summer Slam.
I'm gonna come in as Virgil,
and I'm gonna lead a rich, rich, rich man.
Well, you know, Mr. DiBiase,
I think you can take that one to the back.
With DiBiase, it could be more like,
let's make a deal, Brian.
A year ago, Virgil was carrying the belt for DiBiase.
Now, he could be wearing it.
Not that way.
Sometimes when I'm skinning me one of these roads
we got living out here in the glades,
he's just a squiggling and a worming and a squealing.
I like to let him go.
Just a little piece of skin on his back.
And that way, maybe it'll all grow back.
Down the road, I might catch him,
and I might skin him again.
No more eyebrows.
You know, if you put your cards right, Toots,
this could be a full-time job for you.
Thanks, butter. No thanks.
Hi, Bobby.
What are you doing here?
No belong back here.
I'm lost. I was just looking for the toilet.
Well, get out of here.
This is my make-up room.
You're such a grout.
Get out of here, you moron.
Oh, look at this.
Million-dollar man's dressing room.
Million-dollar man.
Don't be scared.
Oh, look.
The million-dollar man's pants.
Wow, wow, is he big.
Oh, holy cow.
It's a million-dollar man's belt.
Oh, wow, it's heavy.
A million-dollar man's belt.
Oh, look at me.
Yeah, that's good.
That looks good on me.
Oh, Sherry's going to love me now,
because I was a rich man.
One minute to go, Mr. Heiner.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've got to get ready.
Oh, hey.
Hey, it's stuck.
Help me.
We're going to see the former bodyguard Virgil.
He is going to join us.
The million-dollar man,
Ted DiBiase,
and the face of Sherry.
What about the giant equalizer?
I'm speaking about Andre the Giant.
The eighth wonder of the world is going to be right here
on Prime Time this evening.
My friend.
And, Bobby Heenan, maybe I'm back here to stay.
I don't know.
I put an ad in the paper that you're a rental hostage.
They can use you whenever they want.
Yeah, that's not even funny.
You saw what they did to me up there.
I have to say that that's true.
Would you say that slaughter,
General Adnan and Mustafa mean business?
They mean a lot more than business.
Wait a minute!
The million-dollar belt is gone!
We're going to find it!
Somebody here took it!
Sherry, take it easy.
Don't tell me to take it easy.
The building is sealed off!
Anybody that's got it,
we're going to find it!
As soon as we find it,
we're going to break every bone in anybody's body!
You got it!
I don't have it, Sherry.
I've been right here.
Somebody secure this building then.
I guess the million-dollar belt is missing.
Well, Virgil's here.
And you know how bad he wants to get the million-dollar belt?
Don't start accusing people.
We have no idea.
It's a wild guess.
It could be missing somewhere in his dressing room.
He stole the million-dollar dream.
Mr. DiBiase's hole, why wouldn't he steal the belt?
Things are certainly heating up here in the World Wrestling Federation
as we approach SummerSlam,
which is taking place August 26th,
the match made in heaven,
the match made in hell.
Talking about hell, there's going to be hell to pay
when Mr. DiBiase finds out who stole his belt.
You're going to hear that person's body
snap, crackle and pop.
He's going to guess what his belt or his money.
Well, I know that that belt certainly is
worth a lot of money.
I mean, all the diamonds, all gold.
I could imagine.
But why don't we get back...
Ow!
What's that noise?
It's got to be that imbecile.
Hey, you just can't walk in and out of here
whenever you want.
Either sit down or get out.
I had a make.
He was making something over there.
Don't say it.
Get back to a great match up here.
Paul Romer.
Oh, great crowd here tonight on Prime.
Noisy. Very, very noisy.
Bobby Heena, you know,
earlier we had a little bit of a problem, it seems,
concerning the Million Dollar Man.
The belt.
Well, when Cherry came out here screaming,
someone stole the Million Dollar Belt.
It was very simple. They wanted back.
Well, maybe they found it.
To bring out the Million Dollar Man Ted D.B. Oscar
and his manager,
Mr. Cherry.
I hope you don't have anything to do with this money.
Let me tell you,
everybody knows that the Million Dollar Belt
is supposed to be on the line at SummerSlam.
Well, maybe it won't be.
Because right now, there is no Million Dollar Belt.
It is gone.
Somebody has stole that belt.
That's not petty larceny.
That's one million dollars with the Golden Diamonds.
That is grand theft.
And I have sealed off this building.
Nobody's getting in.
Nobody's going to get out until I get my belt back.
Right here.
Right now.
I don't blame you. I don't blame you.
Come to our program like this, it's embarrassing for me that you can't leave your stuff
without someone waxing it on you.
Now, let's not get excited here.
What do you mean not get excited?
What do you mean get excited about a million dollars?
A million dollars is nothing to me.
That belt.
Okay, well, we'll get to the bottom of this.
Let's get back to action right now in a matchup involving
the Big Boss.
Bobby Heenan, the temperature is
arising for SummerSlam.
Let's see what we have now.
We have the match made in heaven, the match made in hell.
We've got the Intercontinental Championship
on the line. Mr. Perfect taking on Brett
the Hitman Heart.
And the Million Dollar Belt is going to be on the line
if they can find it.
The Million Dollar Man taking on the former bodyguard Virgil.
Well, when he finds the belt
and who's ever got that belt
in their possession, they're going to
leave here on the end of a blotter.
Because I know the way DBSC is
about pride, I know the way he's about his money.
He's going to tear the person's head off.
He's going to stick what's ever left
of them into a little box like
this and he's going to mail it to some
coroner or some fuel. He's going to have the
Undertaker take care of him.
Ow!
What is that noise?
Do we have some construction going on
outside the studio?
Hey!
Don't keep going to the bathroom.
You either make one trip or you sit
down. On our Cineo show
no one walks on and off whenever
they feel like it. So sit on you
moron or I'm going to knock you down.
That doesn't, I'm going to drop you.
Stay seated!
Walking in and out on my program.
Take it easy.
With brains like that he could work here.
Perhaps we should check on what all that
noise is going on outside. You're going to enjoy
this matchup. Settle down.
Hey! Hey you! Have you seen my
belt? What belt? You know I'm a million
dollar belt. Solid gold, diamonds.
Here. It's a lot of
money. Take it. Solid gold and
diamonds. Now have you seen it? I did it.
Give me that. I'm so tired
of this. Sherry!
What? What are you doing
up there? I'm looking for the damn
belt, Ted! What the hell you think I'm
doing? Well keep
looking. Alright! We gotta find
it. Hey! Hey you!
Have you seen my belt, Amanda?
Ah! Sherry!
We gotta find that thing! Ted Bibiasu
is serious. They are turning up
and down the building. He's upset.
And he's getting madder.
Madder as time goes by. Whoever got that
belt out there, leave it some place.
Call in. Tell us where it is.
Because when Bibiasu finds out who
has that belt, The Undertaker
and Paul Bear will never put that man back
together again. I guarantee that.
Well maybe this individual we are going to bring out
right now can help shed
some light on this situation. That's who I suspect.
Let's welcome the former bodyguard,
Virgil.
Virgil, welcome to
Bromptime Wrestling.
I see Bobby,
he's not wearing the belt.
He doesn't have the belt.
Raise your shirt.
Look, there's no belt there.
There's no...
You don't have, I don't mean to interrogate you.
I'm not Columbo. You are
innocent until proven guilty.
Right. You have the right to remain silent.
If you give it that right, I'm going to stick Bibiasu on you.
You like that? Check this out, Bobby.
I have never
stole anything from anyone.
I was with Ted Dibiasu for
four years, man. Four years.
I could have stole millions.
I could have became a million dollar man if I wanted to steal.
But I never stole nothing. You never lifted a 20?
I never touched even a 10.
I died.
You never patted the expense account?
Right now, let's go to an individual
I think everyone knows.
Bromptime Virgil.
And former bodyguard, Virgil.
As the summer heats up,
we heard the news resounding throughout the WWF.
You're to face the million dollar man,
Ted Dibiasu,
and the million dollar belt is supposed to be on the line.
If he finds it.
Well,
I'm going to go and try to help find it.
Because when it comes to
the 26th of August, Ted Dibiasu,
I want to make sure
you have that belt because I'm going to win it.
And I might give all
the diamonds away. You never know.
So I'm going to go look for it now.
Hey, if you give some of them diamonds away.
No, they're back on.
This situation
is getting more and more
interesting. Virgil now off
to apparently clear his name.
I know what's around me here. This is not a table.
That's a table for four. No.
This is a chair for our next guest.
He is the eighth wonder
of the world, Andre
the Giant.
Standing ovation, Andre,
welcome to Prime Time. Thank you for joining us.
You better just stay away
there, Bobby Heenan.
How are you doing, boss?
Business. Have a seat there.
Andre, I have to say that I am just amazed
that you're back on your feet so soon after
going through that dramatic operation.
I'm not back on my feet yet.
It's going to take quite a while before
I really get back on my feet.
But you are standing and I heard
some very interesting news
about your operation. Apparently they
bolted two operating tables
together for that
for the knee surgery and they pulled
out two golf ball sized bones
out of that knee. Oh, not golf balls.
Not golf balls, but almost
that size.
And
believe me
it's going to take quite a while before I get back in the ring.
Maybe two or three more
months I have to work with it.
Two or three more months. But I don't care
because I can't wait to get back
in that ring. I think we know the reason
why. It has to do with the
walking natural disaster, the earthquake
who is certainly the man
that caused for all this pain
you've suffered. As a matter of fact, why don't we
take a look back
at just what went down when you
happened to get into the ring
when Jimmy Hart was trying
to persuade you. Here's the earthquake
coming up behind you now.
And that was just the beginning
Andre. Yeah, I know it.
Did you know right away that your knee
was bent? I'm sorry, I'm talking to Mooney.
Here's me.
Just trying to be a broadcaster.
And here it goes right out to that
link. Yeah, with that megaphone
he did the real damage with that megaphone.
But even when
he's going to jump
in this one there. Now
you were in incredible pain even before
this. Now he's driving that elbow
right into your knee socket.
These folks here certainly did
not like looking at that footage. I'm sure
it must have been painful for you to see.
But, you know,
even myself
I once
tried to look in the evening each way
in the west wing. And I was one of
those guys sometimes. And I
was belong to
that wizard family in there.
You know, wizard family. Believe me
that was not
even a nightmare. That was
crazy. Did you get the car
sent you in the hospital? You sent
a car to Andre? Sent it to
Giant General
sent it right to the hospital.
Well, I think we should check into that.
In the meantime, let's get to some Tag Team
competition.
We just witnessed some great Tag Team
competition. Joining us
here on Primetime, a one
man Tag Team, Andre
the Giant. And, Andre, I know you're very anxious
to start rehabilitating that knee. But I
understand your doctors have told you to
stay off it. You know, I got one
of the best doctors
for the knee surgery. And it's Dr.
Bide from Jackson, Mississippi.
And he told me to stay away
from my knee for at least the next ten
months. And I still have to
walk with the quadros for the next three months
probably. But
I'll be back.
Considering how far Andre the Giant
has advanced since surgery,
you need to be back sooner than we think.
Andre the Giant, thank you for joining
us here on Primetime. I hope you
recuperate and
I hope you recuperate and do
real good. I hope you...
Sorry I bothered you.
On that sincere note from the brain,
let's
all thank Andre the Giant for
joining us here on Primetime Wrestling
with the best of luck, I think.
It's time to get back to one-on-one competition.
We've looked everywhere, Sherry,
and we can't find that means it's gotta be on someone.
You!
Spread them. Up!
Excuse me. Turn around.
Not on him. You!
Up!
Spread them. Up!
Nothing there.
You! Up!
Spread it.
Turn around. Not there.
Let's go. Come on, let's go. There's a lot of
bodies. Come on!
Master control
in there. They really mean business.
They seem to be getting more upset
as every second ticks by. And when they
get their hands, the building's secured.
I just looked outside. There's security people
over the place working for DBSC. When they get a
hold of that poor imbecile
or that poor woman or child
or animal that has that million dollar
belt, it is over.
You're gonna hear that body snap all the way to
Manhattan or to Omaha.
I can only imagine what the million dollar man has
planned for whoever
may be holding the million dollar belt.
We can only hope that they find it soon
for the safety of everybody
in this building.
Ow!
Ah!
What is going
on out there?
Jameson, are you building a
hall out there? Hey, stupid! We're doing
a television program here.
I don't care how many trips you have to make
to your so-called potty. If you can't
sit there, wear a pamper.
But you walk through here one more time, pal,
and I'm gonna knock you out. You're never
gonna see the end of this program
or any other program. We got stuff
we're gonna talk about, and this is a show
people are watching, not for you to walk through here
whenever you want. Now, sit down!
Sit down!
No reason to get excited here.
Jameson
apparently has a little bit of a problem.
How we're working would be impossible.
An outpatient can walk in and out
of here. Let's take a look at this encounter involving
a member of the Triangle of Terror.
It is very
obvious that the Triangle
of Terror will use any tactic necessary
to achieve victory.
Bobby Heenan, what are you doing?
Do you have the belt?
Bobby, will you stop shaking down the audience?
Come down. I'm trying to find out.
We just saw a great matchup involving
Colonel Mustafa.
Figures.
Bobby Heenan, I'd like to talk to you
about the match made in hell. Can you come on down here?
I'm coming down.
Well, I guess we'll just have to talk about it later
because we gotta go to a commercial now.
I was gonna ask you about who was gonna be
the referee. Now we can't do that.
Well, I was grilling the kids.
A lot of excitement in that encounter and Bobby Heenan
whoa
being an unbiased
broadcast journalist.
That was a great encounter between the Texas Tornado
Barbarian. I don't like the Tornado.
I don't like what the guy stands for.
He's the kind of a guy that at any given time
can knock you off. He's a very capable athlete.
But he's from Texas. Anybody from Texas
is...
No belts.
Still missing.
Well, things are narrowing down
very nicely. You see,
we have searched this entire
building high and low.
We have searched everybody
in this building
except
for everybody
in this studio.
The doors are locked.
Nobody can get in.
Nobody can get out.
What are you planning to do Ted DiBiase?
Right now, we are going
to search each and everybody
in this studio
and find my belt because it's right here
right now. Sherry, let's go.
Ted DiBiase, I don't have to remind you that
it's against the law to do this.
Sherry,
search Alfred.
Alright.
Read them!
That's what they're doing.
They're searching everybody in the audience.
Read them.
They'll find it.
It looks as though they are going to check out everybody
here in the Prime Time Studio
as they continue their search
for the million dollar belts.
Stay with us. I think there's a lot more
to come.
This is interesting. Very interesting.
Bobby Heenan, they have made it
through one section. They're working their way down.
Well, that's not a metal detector like you see
at the airport. They'll pick up junk jewelry.
That one, that's a big one. That's a very powerful one.
That's looking for the gold,
the diamonds and the belt. That's what that thing is.
That's a powerful one.
Perhaps somebody should pick up the telephone right now
and call the Hulk study.
Stop what is going on here.
Now you can always call the 1-900-HULK
number and play the game.
Pick up that telephone right now. Call
1-900-454-HULK.
I even heard one of the
Oriental people say thief
somewhere in Rome.
Can we move on here with the phone number?
$1.49 for the first minute,
$0.99 for each additional minute.
Kids, be sure and ask your mom and dad
before you make that call.
There's no sign of the million dollar belt.
Don't you think this is just a waste of time?
Looks like there's no stopping the million dollar man
and his adoring manager.
Let's not stop getting to more action.
An encounter involving the massive warlord.
Sherry, check Elvira with the goatee.
Maybe she's got it.
Nice to see that someone is at least trying to come
to our rescue. I wish they'd find the belt
so we could stop this ridiculousness.
Lauren Alfred, how would Sherrock Holmes
handle a matter like this? Case of the missing
belt. I think he'd call in
Dr. Watson and they'd probably go around and ask
a few questions and they'd find the guilty
person. They'd put their finger on him.
Would the rubber hose be out of line?
That's all we need now is detectives
in here.
Well, that's the next step, I'm telling you.
Search continues
here on Primetime for the million dollar belt.
Let's get some more action on the way here
involving a match up involving
hacksaw Jim Duggan.
Bobby Heenan, they have been through just about
everybody, but it doesn't
look like they are going to give up.
I think that's rather obvious.
There's a million dollar belt
on the line. Diamonds and gold and somebody's
walked off with it.
Well, they will continue to keep looking.
I didn't do it. I don't think he's ever been
on the line before. We'll be back with more
Primetime. That's the shady side
of the place right there.
Applause
Dibiasi just
checked out the camera crew.
No sign of the belt. We have searched everybody
in this room. We've even searched
all of the cameramen, everybody
here, except you
too. Oh, come on.
Except you too. Bobby, I hate to do it,
but...
You look like you've done this
before. Whoa!
I'll do it this way if you don't mind.
What's
that? What's in there?
My necklace,
my locker, and my key to my dressing room.
Okay, fine.
What's in there?
Well, it's loaded up. Come on, let's see it.
Just a watch.
What are you doing with two watches?
Well...
Vince McMahon? A gift.
I got him a gift. A gift? I didn't know you...
That's an expensive watch.
Would you mind turning around, Mr. Hayes?
Just take out what you need. Thank you very much.
He doesn't have the belt.
Well, it's not Bobby. So, buddy, that must mean
it's you. Oh, come on.
Spread them.
One more time.
Spread them.
We really have to go through this here.
Easy.
Turn around, please. I'd like to wear these pants again,
if you don't mind. Turn around, please.
Are you satisfied?
Definitely not on him. I can't...
Whoa! Whoa! No, no, no!
What? The moron's missing.
Where is he? There's a lot of him!
There he is! Jameson!
Get him, Sherry, get him!
Watch out! Ouch!
Come here. You little noise!
Get your butt up here!
Watch out, I have a plate in my head.
I'm gonna put something else in your head.
Check him, check him, check him!
Stand up straight! I am!
Check him, check him, check him!
Uh-oh.
I'm very excited!
It's you!
There it is!
Oh, my.
I told you!
Take it off!
Hey, hey, hey, look at that!
Look at that!
What are you doing out here?
I couldn't get it off. It was stuck.
He's a thief! He's a thief!
He's a thief!
That's our bill!
That belongs to DBSI!
That's none of your business, Andre.
You stay out of it.
That's my belt!
That's all yours, man.
Virgil can't walk out with your belt.
That's your belt!
He's gonna have to earn it if he wants it!
DBSI!
Help!
When I was just a boy,
I had me this uncle.
He used to say,
Boy,
beauty's only skin deep.
He is right.
Beauty is only skin deep.
Heck, once you peel it back,
there ain't nothing much to look at at all.
Ladies and gentlemen,
my guest this week,
Colonel Mustafa,
General Adnan,
and Sergeant Slaughter.
Sergeant Slaughter!
Here comes the threesome
that will be in SummerSlam
to square off against
the Ultimate Warrior
and the Mighty Hulkster.
The Mighty Hulkster and the Ultimate Warrior,
they got them shaking in their clothes
right now.
Well, I don't know about that, but they certainly know
they have signed on for what could
be a tantamount to
terrorist activity
whenever you've got these three around.
You never can tell what's going to happen, to say the least.
All right, gentlemen,
the match has been signed.
It will be a handicap tag team bout
at SummerSlam.
Three men,
General Adnan,
Colonel Mustafa,
and you, Sergeant Slaughter,
will be facing
two men.
However,
those two men
are none other
than the Ultimate Warrior
and his partner,
Hulk Hogan.
That match has
been signed. Sergeant Slaughter,
your thoughts?
Well, if you'll keep
your hole shut,
I'll tell you my thoughts on it,
you human piece of garbage.
But I can't
put
all your
baggage out there.
And listen up,
you two
SummerSlam scum,
the Ultimate Two,
and you,
the immortal slime,
Hulk Hogan.
You two think
that you have a chance
against my core
at SummerSlam,
my core
of destruction.
First, you have to go
against military
brilliance
of General Adnan.
And then,
you have to go against
the ruthlessness
of Colonel
Mustafa.
And then,
there's me,
the immortal slime,
Hulk Hogan,
and the Ultimate Two.
Week after week,
day after day,
seconds after seconds,
after seconds,
I have shown you
that I start
to slaughter
and my core of destruction
rule the
And we do it
our way.
SummerSlam
is going to be
a match
made in hell.
And I don't
care
who President Jack
Cuddy makes as
the special guest
referee. It makes
no difference to us.
Wait a minute. Do I understand you to say
it does not make any difference
who the special guest referee is?
None whatsoever.
Well, would you like
to meet that special guest
referee?
By all means,
I want to meet
that special referee
for SummerSlam,
the match made
in hell.
Here he is, special guest
referee for the Handicap Tag,
Sid Justice.
Wow, my goodness.
Hotline, I thought
you were getting up and walking
from the broadcast booth.
I thought it was going to be you as the
guest referee. Wait a minute,
these guys are applauding.
I guess we know now where
Sid Justice stands in this whole
thing.
Presenting arms
to Sid Justice.
Welcome to the core
Sid Justice.
I said
welcome
to Sergeant Slaughter's
core Sid
Justice.
I am not a part of your
core.
I am not
a part
of your core.
Look at the size difference here.
Isn't that a monster?
And I am not
a part
of your core.
And I am
a part of your core.
I will be
at SummerSlam
for one reason,
to see
that Justice
is served.
Justice will be served.
Here he is, the guest
referee for the tag
match at SummerSlam.
You know something,
Hulkamaniacs, when the match was first
signed, the ultimate one in the holster
against Mustafa, Adnan
and Sergeant Slaughter, we knew it was
going to be his rules. That's why the little
warriors in the Hulkamaniacs were worn.
Check the popcorn boxes for hangar nades.
Look under your seats for a booby trap.
But now that Sid
Justice is the special referee
man, me and the ultimate one
know that Justice will be served.
And now that the warriors in the
Hulkamaniacs have united as one,
we're going to wipe his
troops out just like our troops
wipe those dudes out in Desert Storm
right over- We're coming out of the
Foxhole! We've been laid down
low long enough. Bring the
skeletons of the warriors past
and the Hulkamaniacs of
the present. Bring them to SummerSlam
in the most
fearsome force in the entire
universe. For guaranteed,
Hulkamania
and warrior wildness
shall only do one thing.
Destroy
you!
Mr. Perfect,
in the SummerSlam, I hope
you realize that this is a chance
I've waited for a long, long time.
This is an opportunity for me
to show you that I am in fact
the excellence of execution.
You'd like to consider yourself a wrestler
with all the perfect moves, but we
all know there's no such thing as
Mr. Perfect. But when
I step in the ring in the SummerSlam,
you will be excellently
executed.
Welcome to the Barbershop!
You know, everybody knows
that at SummerSlam
there's going to be a match made in Heaven
and there's going to be a match
made in Hell.
But let's just talk a little bit
about the match made in Heaven.
The lovely
Miss Elizabeth
is getting married
to
none other
than the macho man
Randy Stafford.
Taking that last walk.
Right here, I have
the most amazing
match I've dressed in
weeks and every while.
He's got the invitation,
the official invitation.
Who'd do anything
to get a gift?
The lovely Miss Elizabeth
and the macho man
request the honor
of your presence
at their wedding.
To be held
at SummerSlam
in the middle of the ring
in Madison Square
Garden.
I love it.
On Monday night, August
26.
My guest
is here now,
the groom, the macho man
Randy Stafford!
Ooh, yeah!
He's going to get the bride
but who's going to take the bride away?
I like the moment.
The macho man,
you have to be
the envy of every man
in the civilized world
because
as time is going closer
to SummerSlam,
are you getting cold feet?
Ooh, good question,
but you don't get
cold feet
when you're in love.
Yeah!
We got hot feet.
Yeah, macho man,
I got one question.
Why get married in the ring?
Well,
you don't know what you've got
until it's gone.
Yeah.
And due to a little
technicality
in my last match
which prevents me
from competing in the WWF,
this is my way
of returning
to the ring.
And since
it was in the ring
that I have shared
my most glorious
moments
with all the zillions and zillions
and zillions of people
all around
the world. Yeah!
I thought it was
only fitting
to share
the
most glorious
moment of all
time.
My marriage to
Elizabeth!
And
will Elizabeth
do this?
I do!
I will!
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah,
indeed, all coming up
in part of Summer Slam
on a Monday night in Madison Square Garden
August 26th.
Let me see your face in the place.
He's dead.
$236
like he suggested.
Don't forget to write all that makeup off
because I think we can cut that down
maybe halfway.
Half? Heavy on the ears, Tootsie.
Wait a minute.
What are you doing in here, you imbecile?
I'm looking for the toilet. It's back here
we met. Move it! Get out of here!
This isn't a toilet. You're gonna be a toilet.
Why are you in such a bad mood?
Get out of here! Out of here!
Every week he comes through here for something.
Imbecile.
Oh, whose dressing room is this
this week?
Oh, it's them
fat guys, the natural disasters.
I'm staying out of trouble
this week.
Once he was down here
dressing room
fourth.
Wonder who's in here.
Ah!
Expressing him in heart!
Not now. I'm getting ready, okay?
But you're my favorite! Not now.
Alright. I'm getting ready.
Hey, kid.
Yeah?
You're missing something.
Thanks, Hitman!
Oh, boy!
Let's see.
You're all the help you need to use
me!
You'll finish me!
What am I gonna do?
This is it!
Whoa!
Oh, my God!
Whoa!
Oh, my God!
I hear the double disaster!
Oh!
Oh, my God!
Ah!
Oh!
Ah, please!
Ah!
Oh, my God!
Ah!
Look at me!
Ah!
Yes!
Sin Justice, you say you want to be an impartial referee at SummerSlam.
Well, that's just fine.
You say you want no part of the Corps.
Well, that's fine, too.
But when it comes time, Sin Justice, to raise our hand in total victory
after we defeat one of those two maggots,
you'll come crawling, you'll come running,
you'll come begging to join the Corps of Destruction.
Out here, it pays to be real careful, like what with gators,
dangerous animals all around.
You come out to the swamp, you best keep a good eye out,
because I just might skin you alive.
Of course, you never know where I might turn up.
I might be over here, or maybe over here.
Hey, I've been right behind you the whole time.
Boy, every time I see this guy, it gives me the creeps.
It's summertime.
Doesn't he ever get outside?
My guest this week is a man who recently felt the cold hand of death
touch a loved one.
And that, my friends, is Jake the Snake Roberts.
Well, this should be very interesting.
Jake the Snake on the funeral parlor.
If anything knows about the dark side of Jake the Snake.
I mean, what's the name of the snake?
Lucifer.
I rest my case.
It's the first good news I've heard, Mr. McMahon.
What, did I rest my case, or the snake's name is Lucifer?
Cold eyes take the snake's head.
Shh, shh, you're both sick.
Yes, I felt it.
When Damian was taken from me from the earthquake,
yes, I felt death's ugly hand reach down and grab part of my soul.
But that's a price the earthquake must pay.
But should death ever come looking for me
and knock upon my door, Mr. Paul Bearer,
I will jerk that door open, look into his eyes,
and I will spit at it because I have something
that rests upon my shoulder that will not let me fear death.
Oh, Mr. Roberts, you're talking about your snake, aren't you?
No.
I'm talking about Lucifer himself, the same one
that rests upon your shoulder.
Hmm.
I've always had my suspicions about you.
But you know, and I know, that every man on his final walk
to his resting place must face the undertaker, even you,
Jake Roberts.
The way I see it, the undertaker at this moment
has his hands buried full.
Oh, but if you're talking about the ultimate warrior,
that's no problem at all.
We're just stringing him along to its time
to drop him in his final resting place.
Ha, ha, ha.
Let me ask you this, how would you feel,
and how would the undertaker feel
if I shared the secrets of the darkness,
and I shared the secrets of this cold, black heart,
and the secrets of the undertaker himself
with the ultimate warrior?
No, no, Mr. Roberts, you can't do that.
You can't do that.
Would you?
Would I?
Yes, I would.
And all that the ultimate warrior must do
to understand the darkness and the cold
is to release, release all those fears of death.
And secondly, he must do something
that neither you or the undertaker could ever do,
and that's simply trust me.
Trust me, warrior.
No, we're not through.
Come back.
We can work this out.
We can work together on this.
Oh, boy, this is going to be very interesting.
Jake the Snake will share the secrets of the undertaker
with the ultimate warrior.
You know something, Sergeant Slaughter,
General Adnan, and Colonel Mustafa,
ever since WrestleMania,
when I won the first battle with all my little hulsters,
I knew it was just the beginning of the war.
And then when you burnt my flesh,
the smell was just like napalm in my mind.
I heard you laugh.
I heard you get off on it, brother.
And ever since then, I've had nightmares
that I was going to have to fight the troops of yours
all by myself.
And then that senile Jack Tunney
put this thing together with the warrior as our blood brother
and the warriors and the Hulkamaniacs united as one.
Now I realized I had a chance to win the war.
And then all of a sudden,
the special referee, Sid Justice,
just put the icing on the cake.
It's even, Steven, 50-50.
But with all the warriors and Hulkamaniacs,
you guys are in a lot of trouble.
How about it, Ultimate One?
With a special referee like Sid Justice,
granted, it's going to be called down the middle 50-50.
But in no way, shape, or form are we at a handicap.
The power of the ultimate warrior
and the forces of Hulkamania
that I have seen in great strides before
come together at Summer Slam.
The tanks that we ride in
are made of the armor of Hulkamaniacs
and warriors of great strength
after we destroy you
with an improper burial.
What you gonna do
when Hulkamania and the ultimate warrior
run over you?
Virgil, you're becoming a nuisance.
You're getting under my skin.
You're having these delusions of grandeur.
But at Summer Slam,
it's all gonna come to an abrupt end.
And Virgil, after Summer Slam,
don't come looking for this job.
The position is filled.
Peebee Aussie, after all those things you did to me,
I'm finally getting underneath your skin.
Well, at Summer Slam,
I'm gonna take your most prized possession
million dollar belt and then I'll be satisfied.