So I don't want you to think that.
Earing continuously for 25 years in 120 countries
has been which children's TV show co-created...
Don. Skippy?
No, by Jim Henson's Sesame Street.
So that's an ABC question coming in first,
right down your backyard.
To improvise during rehearsal or performance is to add what?
Mark. Ad-lib.
Ad-lib is right.
Here's an audio question.
This is the theme for which TV series
is a spin-off of a Neil Simon movie?
The Odd Couple.
Odd Couple is right. I think everyone had it right there.
Almost, isn't it? Up to 30.
Which well-known cage bird gives its name
to a bright, clear shade of yellow?
Don. Canary.
Canary is right.
According to the well-known proverb,
there is no accounting for what?
Taste. Taste is right, too.
$5 off the lead as we go to our get-shop.
Mark and Elle, you're on $30, you're $5 ahead of Burke's backyard.
You're playing for a viewer at home
who may very nearly watch your show every time it's on.
So keep that in mind as we hear from Nicky with the prize.
I'd like everyone to welcome Locky Datto and Jane Rutter
from The Getaway. Thank you.
How you doing?
Now, you guys definitely have the most glamorous job
on television, jet-setting around the world,
so you must need really top-quality luggage.
Sure do.
You know, Jane, I've seen you travel,
and I don't even think half your stuff would fit in all this.
Just to hold my shoes and gloves, though.
Yeah? Yeah.
Oh, that's all you need, really, isn't it?
This set comprises three suitcases, a weekender,
a carry-on bag, a beauty case and more,
and it's normally $1,003,
but tonight you can get away with them for just $6
from Tosca and Sale of a Century.
Locky and Jane, thanks for joining us.
Coming back again for another night of The Luggage.
Mark and Elle, confer as you like.
$5, we'll ask for it.
One question, $25 apiece for both teams.
$5 going once. Nice bags.
Going twice. Nice bags, Leda.
They're lovely coloured ones, too.
You can wear them as a jacket.
$5 going twice.
Have you got another Datto hanging around in one of those?
That's very funny.
We'll take it.
You're going to buy?
$5, yes.
Now we've got to find out which bag's got the Datto in it, though.
That's all.
Well, I thought about it, but then I thought,
no, you just wanted another Datto in one of the bags,
so we'd just give it to you as the luggage.
So the viewer picking up the luggage.
And the score's now live and sweaty on $25,
Burke's backyard on $25.
Named after an American merchant is the large yellow and juicy fruit,
the Bartlett Watts.
Don. Pear.
Bartlett Pear is right.
That's a gardening question.
An old nickname...
An old nickname for army shorts is Bombay Watts.
Don. Bloomers.
That's correct. Now, Elle, if that was you down the alley
of your last TV special, Sex Guys and Videotapes...
Are you implying that I looked down old men's army shorts?
LAUGHTER
Hey.
Fame game. $10. What is my name?
I'm a television series of which more than 60 half-hour episodes
were produced by London Weekend Television between 1970 and 75.
A comedy show, I employed some slapstick
and sometimes boarded on crude.
I featured Doris Hare as the mother,
Anna Karen as the mousy sister...
Elle. On the buses.
I am on the buses. That's correct.
Yes. On the buses.
Stan Butler, Reg Varney.
Now, Mark and Elle, you're on 25.
Don and Jim are on 35. You're trailing by 10.
Tenors behind one of our famous faces, who tonight are...
Hilary Swank and Pat Loretta.
In the film, the next karate kid...
Sam Newman. The footy show in Melbourne.
Denzy Klein. Burke's Backyard.
Ray Martin. A current affair.
Tony Hare. Tony comes from East Bentley in Victoria.
Tony's a green thumb like you, Don.
He's a nurseryman and also enjoys travelling.
So, nice to have you with us, Tony.
Shirley Strong. Our House.
Jacqueline McDonald. The Midday Show.
Deryn Hinch. Mel Gibson.
Ozzy Superstar. And Julia Roberts.
The Pretty Woman. Who would you like, Elle and Mark?
What do you think?
We'll take the home viewer, I think.
Home viewer, Tony Hare from East Bentley.
Closet, Elle and Mark.
You've won for your viewer a special edition Sterling Silver Razor,
valued at $200 from Gillette.
First prize for the viewer.
A close down with our hands.
Burke's Backyard is leaving, weeding by $10.
And we'll be back shortly with round two.
Rachel's New Baby.
Rachel tells us how she gave birth at a wild party.
Melissa Bell marrying the man who betrayed her.
Kylie Travers's incredible fight for fame.
Michael's secret plans for Lisa Marie.
His dad spills the beans.
Heather Locklear at last, wedding bells.
And those drop-dead gorgeous pictures
of Ron and Rachel's new baby.
That's new. That's new.
That's the new weekly...
..Suvism!
Toyota dealers are running out of room.
The all-new Corolla is about to arrive
Gotta give its toyota's gotta make room carola run out heaps of carolas most huge factory bonuses savings on stylish
Seegers and hatchbacks this carola is the best car ever built in Australia
You'll get the best price ever because we're over stock and the new model is rolling out of the new factory now
We've gotta make room so run in
Oh, what a run out toyota
If there's one thing we all know about it's gold
So when golden Valley decided to call their full-flavoured fruit gold they asked our expert opinion
Well, what is our expert opinion gold gold gold
Totally awesome. It's official golden Valley gold with no added sugar is so full-flavoured. It's awesome a
Final two-hour piece with a footy show 830 Thursday exclusive tonight
Burke's backyard versus live and sweaty at the moment live and sweaty trailing by $10
But your home viewer is on the screen at the moment mark and l and they're pretty happy because you have picked up for them
I call $1,000 from the ANZ bank
All right, let's get into the game quickly eight legs two fangs and an attitude Don spider
No, because question was was a publicity line for which film about spiders
Arachnophobia, yes what five points which TV network had the Australian rights to the recent soccer World Cup
L SBS SBS is right. We have a tie for the
30-golds apiece on both teams
Fang and $15 being added to the board. What is my name?
I'm an Australian town with a population of over 20,000 people
Situated in a harsh environment, which has been aggravated by the felling of woodlands for fuel
My wide streets aligned with older buildings many of which have been classified by the National Trust
requiring water to be piped hundreds of kilometers and L
Franklin no and possessing over 40 sporting clubs. I developed a Hannon's find in 18
Sorry, that's me breaking Hill. No, I
Developed as Hannon's find in 1893 and am today the center of the country's chief nickel fields and gold production
Thanks to the rich deep oars of my golden mile
Located about 600 kilometers east of Perth and with the name beginning with K. I am
Jim Calguili, that's correct
I'm Calguili. That's right
Take it to the limit there now $10 and you know, you know, he didn't have any idea until the K
Who would you like from our famous faces Jim? Mel you think is it your time?
No, yeah. All right Mel Gibson down the bottom line
Well, your viewer will be stepping out in style with these beautiful lady shoes
There are four pairs valued at $640 from Toronto shoes
Nice phrase the scores remain $30 apiece
I'll be wearing a pair tonight
Which British actor is one of the stars of the adventures of Priscilla Queen of the desert L
Terrence Stam, that's correct
According to a US psychologist the least intelligent dog is which large floppy-eared hounds beginning Don Afghan with a
Afghan are they really that stupid?
Yes
$35 apiece as we put 30 seconds up on the clock and you're
You should watch more often L
Your time starts now an American talk show star is Sally Jesse who?
Rafael correct as someone of noble descent is said to have what color bloods don blue
Yes, what type of reptile is a skink L a furry one lizard on which sea is Francis Cote d'Azur
Not a tyrannium. Yes. What type of living thing is a mountain ash done to gumtree?
Yes, say during the Vietnam War was the TV series China L. Oh
Computer data can be stored on a floppy watch this yes
So which super hero is also a reporter for the only planet superman and L
We can't accept the mash one or the China Beach
I said that she said bash first which we accepted as wrong
So Tom and Jim you're on $50 and you have the opportunity to buy here for you if you are here with Nikki now when friends pop
Around pop on the popcorn and this complete range of saucepans casserole dishes fry pans and more are Australian made from stainless steel
And have copper bases for even heat distribution, which means that they're easier to cook with never normally
$1,528 but tonight it's a popular nine dollars from raco homewares and sale of the century
Don and Jim for your viewer you're $15 ahead. We want nine dollars for it nine dollars
Six dollars or strike me dead
Six dollars, I'll tell you what I bring it into the middle at eight dollars
I bought for eight dollars. Yes, Don's bought a freight dollars. Well done
And your view will be wrapped in that and the popcorns great too, isn't it guys?
Oh, it's real yours question who won the last battle of the TV show celebrity special will tell you after this break
Tomorrow night a proven way to keep our kids away from crime
The courts agree this special program is changing young lives
With everyone concerned about healthy eating these days, it's good to know just how much fat is in your diet
And if you look down the scale of foods each with their percentage of fat
You might be surprised how low and fat some things really are like milk
Which is less than 4% fat. That's right less than 4%
Milk low in fat and a great healthy taste
Real music variety. There's only one real choice
104.7
Harris car for celebrating their
144th birthday and you could be celebrating too
Just match your TV plus number with numbers displayed in all our stores and you could win this 486 DX 33
Multimedia legend and high-tech computer package complete with CD-ROM and sound card or a Samsung remote-control TV or a Samsung VCR
It's easy match and win a genomic overlocker or a Vulcan dishwasher celebrate and win
In the Northern Territory I soon get the message if the tires I see all don't stand up to the toughest conditions in Australia
That's why I sell so many good years. They're safe and they last
But did you know Australian made good years are being exported all over the world even to Japan
Now that's world-class quality and that's something these good year people work hard for I'm convinced as you should be
You could only save you once a year
With the winners of the battle the TV shows number one
And that was our viewers question before the break at the moment Burke's backyard leading on 42 live and sweaty
Trailing on 35 but only seven points in there into the questions who won the men's marathon gold medal at this year's mark
Steven Monaghetty good baller at land. Yes, so Monaghetty
Hosting her own TV variety show in the 70s was American comedian Carol who Jim
Carol Burnett was the answer
Grecian 2000 yeah
Drink gallons of it August the first is considered the birthday of which don race horses
all horses all
The answer is of which animals horses and that incorporates race horses and every other sort of
So Burks backyard leading on $42 and that means Don and Jim you have the opportunity to play cash card
So for $15 off your score you could possibly one pick up
$5,000 for your viewer or if you like we can get $15 put back onto your score or the other machine
We'll have this wonderful prize. Here's the prize with Nikki roll up roll up and see the amazing Toto pushing a shopping trolley
See the amazing Paula pushing a shopping trolley and see the amazing shopping trolley which cost nothing to fill to the brim
Now your viewers could win this shopping voucher to be spent at the supermarket of their choice to the value of $3,000
And it's from white wings and sale of the century
Now don as I say
You only have $2 a head of live and sweaty it will cost you $15 between the two of you
Are you willing to risk the lead and possibly pick up $5,000 for your home viewer?
Yes, you're going to be able to go push the computer and the buzz of the computer rectifies the scores you're under 27
And you have the opportunity to pick up the money. So Don and Jim, which machine would you like Nikki to play for you?
I agree hearts
So it's the 5,000 on the hearts machine that Nikki
Give it a pull and we'll find out it is for your viewer take five
Which means you get to take five dollars off the live and sweaty team there coming back to 35 now
Where was the money?
Money was on the club. So that's where the $5,000 first the scores now live and sweaty on 35
Berks backyard on 27 as we get back to the game
Which American magazine style TV show is presented by John Tesh and Lisa Gibbons?
L
Entertainment tonight, that's correct up to 40 if he was alive. He would be Michael Jackson's father-in-law. Oh
Elvis Presley, what a thought correct fine going $25 in the wild card being added to the board. Who am I?
Born in New South Wales. I was 14 when I discarded piano studies in order to concentrate on acting
Performing in amateur theatre societies
I then joined the ensemble theatre and in the late 60s was appearing regularly in Crawford TV police dramas
My appearances in the films at ride a wild pony and fatty Finn were well received
But I'm better known as a capable television actress
Remembered as the lovable grace in the Sullivan's and L Lorraine Bailey and Lorraine Bailey. That's right
Having the opportunity to increase their leads
At the moment you're on 45 books back out on 27 all the money is on the board. Who would you like Ellen Mark?
We'd like
Sam Newman same Newman his Sam
Here's a delightful collection of porcelain dolls for your viewer comprising bridal doll bridesmaid and more valued at
$880 from Kate Finn just what you'd expect behind Sam Newman really?
Where is the money Nikki the wild card was with Ray Martin Hillary Swank and Pat Marita had the $10
Denzy Klein had the 15 and Shirley Strawn had the 25
That's where the money was live and sweaty leading at the moment, but anything can happen in the mad minute and that's next
Mr.. Edwin's I any day was so accident insurance
Funny is turn videos is next on my follow by the all you just kidding I
Make all kinds of salads, but I only use one mayonnaise
Mayonnaise Kraft because Kraft has all the taste, but only half the fat of some others
Kraft mayonnaise your healthy salads deserve Kraft
Ozvac slash the cost of new electronic Volta with a sizzling 100 yes $100 tried in
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$239 Ozvac Burberry Tread Hilton Salisbury Pelican Plaza in st. Mary's
Dairy Vale take care milk is high in calcium
And take care is low in fat
Take care is only made right here in South Australia
But best of all
Apart from being good for you take care tastes great
So take care from Dairy Vale
From Dairy Vale
As st. Lauda brings you lucidity a makeup so advanced it reflects light away from lines and imperfections
Leaving a smooth flawless finish that lasts all day long and right now at Maya if you purchase any
Yes, they Lord a product of $35 or more you'll receive the superb six piece gift including knowing
and a full-size lipstick
exclusively at Maya and only while stocks last on
Our house Wednesday renovating a bathroom with timber unleashing your creative flair and a thumping new building method
They're not money getting through the mortgage main do it very carefully class your news car buying guide money following our house Wednesday online
Backyards viewer and their names on the screen at the moment Don and Jim although you're trailing
They still have the chance of winning though. In fact, you've already collected for them a cool $1,000 from ANZ
60 seconds up on the clock. Good luck to both teams at yours time starts now
Popular children's characters are bananas in what else?
Yes, so by what other name do we know the North American Sasquatch?
What is the name of Billy Joel's ex
Oh, yes, I'm lying off which Australian status the Great Barrier Reef
Mark Queensland. Yes, so by what other name do we know Chinese gooseberries?
L kiwifruit. Yes, the US Vice President is Al who?
Yes, a regular on which TV show is Dickie knee
Yes, which musical instrument is played by 12 year old Nathan Cavalieri L the guitar. Yes
So what makes a car sorry what make of car does mr. Bean drive?
Any minor correct which capital city is home to the AFL's West Coast Eagle L
Yes, the nine networks our house features which member of the band skyhawks Jim is drawn
Yes, a native of which country is a Koori L
Australia. Yes, where is the Sea of Tranquility?
Mark on the moon. Yes in which country of the British Isles did the food party to and slide and swim
Oh boy they play very well there. Mark and Al congratulations
And do you think they're pleased? Don't jump too high for goodness sake. Thank you
I think so
Beauty versus beads no no no now we must thank Don and Jim for being a part of it
And they've won for their home for you the ladies shoes the cookware the cash
Three thousand one hundred sixty eight dollars worth so well done guys and also a dominant in what you have for your view of this consolation prize
We have a small prize for your viewer as a consolation a very small prize in fact this camera the SPO
Mini does everything large cameras do and more but one of its biggest attractions is just how tiny it is
It's valued at three hundred and forty dollars from Pentax
And Donna Jim, thank you very very much for being a part of it. I hope you had a good time
Yeah, what a couple?
And the shell our appreciation we'd like you to accept these gifts from us
Every time you look at your brand new watch
We hope you'll think of us with the yellow gold plated case and bracelet and a gold dial this classic watch is our gift to you
from Long Jean
Each contestant will also receive the latest sale of the century board game from Granite Andrews and our 18 karat gold plated fin from
Jomani Jewelry and the sale of the century. Oh
Congratulations Mark. Oh, thanks very much
Let's go shopping come through here because we've got some exciting things to show you here you play very very well
Yes, you shouldn't you shouldn't jump up and down in excitement in your school tunic
Now for your home viewer, you've won some great prizes
Have a look at these firstly bring your friends from anywhere on your new portable phone and tell them your team one tonight
These advanced handheld portable phones one for you and for a friend have a wide range of features
Including a long battery life lighted keypad display volume control and the capacity to be used while the battery is recharging
These two phones are valued at one thousand five hundred dollars from Vox on
And also you've won for your viewer this
Now paying bills is a fact of life
But I've got better things to do with my time and with the new ANZ Visa pay card
You can have your regular income paid directly into your account and your bills paid automatically
So there are more time left for the finer things in life tonight's winning viewer
We'll receive a $3,000 Visa pay card from ANZ and sale of the century
Now you'll be going into the semi-finals and who knows the finals might have in twain after that and at the end of the finals
Oh before that
6583 dollars worth of prizes you've won from your viewer
It's not that going is it at the end of it all is this wonderful Audi 80
Not only will you look like a winner
You will feel like a winner when you get behind the wheel of the fabulous Audi 80 automatic
One of the trailblazing models in the compact class it combines a striking and unique
aerodynamic design with powerful engines and superior fuel economy
With standard safety features including ABS braking and a fully galvanized body. It's valued at
$39,990 plus on road costs Audi advancement through technology great cars the Audi so that's at the end of it all
There's more to come now we go off that sorry about that. Thank you very much Don and also Jim
I hope you had a great time fun. I hope you'll join us tomorrow night too because we have which shows
We've got GP and law of the land so keep an eye out for it
We certainly look forward to your company then until then take care. Bye
This is a grumpy television production for the nine network Australia Peter Smith speaking
Sale of the century was proudly brought to you by white wings
Oh seven thirty Thursday get away to the newest overseas holiday sensation experience a close encounter with the whale
I don't believe it lays about in a beautiful South Pacific Island hideaway plus the wildest way to get wet get away seven thirty Thursday online
Newsbreak brought to you by National Mutual
Hello everyone Adelaide police have formed a special task force to handle the growing threat of an all-out bikey war
But detectives are playing down reports that Adelaide is on the brink of gang warfare and have appealed for the public to remain calm
Unemployed opal miner Mio Alavia has been found guilty of murdering German backpacker Anna Neumann in Cuba PD last year
The jury took just two hours to reach the verdict
Fire has caused more than $20,000 damage to an Australian national train in the Adelaide Hills
The freight train was heading towards Bel Air when one of its three engines burst into flames in
Sport Geelong's Gary Ablett has been found not guilty of striking North Melbourne's Michael Martin
Ablett will take his place in the AFL Grand Final against the West Coast
Now here's the weather
Thanks, Deanna
Well, there's a moderate risk of frost for Murray Bridge in the Barossa slight for the others for Adelaide a shower to developing in
The morning should clear in the afternoon top of 17 degrees, but still a shower to about Thursday
I'll have more news at 830. See you then
This program is proudly brought to you by Mitsubishi Motors and Cathay Pacific the heart of Asia
Oh
Good evening and welcome to Australia's funniest home video show now, please welcome the host
Joven Taylor
Welcome to Australia's funniest home video show. Do you enjoy a good mystery story?
Well tonight we're starting off with a video which will test your powers of observation and maybe at the same time
Clear out the mysterious case of the missing dummy. Yeah, I really want my dummy
I've got no idea where it is. No really need to have it. I'll tell you not having your dummy when you want
It's a real pain in the butt
Here you go, baby Larry your favorite Oh goodie man sticky buns yummy
No stewed lima beans. Are you trying to kill me?
Dad you really shouldn't get near the baby after eating all that garlic
I had it up to me gums with baby food. I want some of that rum pudding that makes grandma's eyes go like this
Oh, no, they're playing on Jane melody. I can't stand that song makes me want to throw up
Leave the nasty taste in the mouth. Let's move on to something a bit more sophisticated
sophisticated adults doing grown-up things mature sensible responsible people role models for little babies to look up to and throw up on
This is a strange central European party game called pass the solvent each lady takes a length of toilet roll until one of them
Is overcome by emotion
If you're wondering why Rono is losing his hair it's because he goes through this same routine every day
This video gives us a clue why Barney's no frills love boat went out of business
Okay, love nice legs
You can't be oh there's the phone in my hands away
Have you ever wondered what a sumo wrestlers do on a day off well here are the famous
It's a ghouli brothers on your luxury cruiser about to take a dip
To get them out of the water
Mr. Edwards, I any day was so accident insurance
Oh
And we suspect no brains either
Charles Darwin once said that millions of years ago man climbed down out of the trees. Well, he was wrong
You know, we fell out of the trees
Actually, that's not quite true either if the truth be known the other primates pushed us out of the trees. Oh
Boy, oh boy. I tell you what something around here really pongs
Well, I don't know what I'm gonna do with you looks like your mother dressed you
I reckon you should go for the Rambo look show off the chest. Yeah. Oh, this is a nice
Hey you guys watch me drive this cameraman crazy, I'll go slow and make you think his cameras on single frame
Everybody in my very red monkey. How are you? Why this is respect?
Here we come
I'll mystery get funny. It Cooting
Yeah
I know how to love you
Do what I have to do
The only time to get restless
Is on something new
Hey, we're the monkeys
The things that we monkey around
We're two bitches singing
To go down, go down, down
We're just trying to be friendly
Come and watch us sing
We're the young generation
We fight something to stay
Ooh, ooh
The time you need
I want you there
Just hold me shoulder
Guess who's standing there
Hey, we're the monkeys
The things that we monkey around
We're two bitches singing
To go down, go down, down
We're the monkeys
The things that we monkey around
We're just trying to be friendly
Come and watch us sing
We're the young generation
We fight something to stay
Ooh, ooh
The things that we monkey around
We're two bitches singing
To go down, go down, down
We're just trying to be friendly
Come and watch us sing
We're the young generation
We fight something to stay
Ooh, ooh
The things that we monkey around
We're two bitches singing
To go down, go down, down
We're the young generation
We fight something to stay
Ooh, ooh
The things that we monkey around
We're two bitches singing
To go down, go down, down
We're just trying to be friendly
Come and watch us sing
We're the young generation
We fight something to stay
Ooh, ooh
The things that we monkey around
We're two bitches singing
To go down, go down, down
We're just trying to be friendly
Come and watch us sing
We're the young generation
We fight something to stay
Ooh, ooh
The things that we monkey around
We're two bitches singing
To go down, go down, down
We're just trying to be friendly
Come and watch us sing
We're the young generation
We fight something to stay
Ooh, ooh
The things that we monkey around
We're two bitches singing
To go down, go down, down
We're just trying to be friendly
Come and watch us sing
We're the young generation
We fight something to stay
I think it's pretty
But it's only the undercoat
Hello, I'm Stacey
With everyone concerned about healthy eating these days
it's good to know just how much fat is in your diet
And if you look down the scale of foods
each with their percentage of fat
you might be surprised how low in fat some things really are
like milk, which is less than 4% fat
That's right, less than 4%
Milk, low in fat and a great healthy taste
These are new Uncle Toby's Wheat Bites
They're like nothing else
They're little squares of Maxxon Nutrition
toasted with honey for extra flavour
that are a real taste sensation
What did he say?
I don't know
They won't go soggy in the bowl like other cereals
New Uncle Toby's Wheat Bites are...
Guys, guys, guys
When it comes to the crunch it's the taste you can't resist
Australia, Australia, this is you
Welcome back
Now that I'm married I sometimes think about what it would be like to be a parent
and eventually a grandparent
There's so much to look forward to
like the little darling spray painting my walking frame
setting fire to my shawl
and not forgetting puncturing the tyres on my wheelchair
Nah, perhaps I'll wait for a while
Get me some paw paw
How do I do that?
I don't know, use your head
I'd rather use yours
You can hop and puff all you like, mate
I'm not scared of you
On a hot day like this there's nothing better than running through a sprinkler to cool off
But it's best to work out a roster before you start
Hey, Mummy, can you help me to fly my model plane?
Sure, what about the
You just hold it up and I'll take it from there, keep an eye on it
Honey, I think I figured out why the kids need a new mattress every couple of months
Most wild-love experts agree that the flying fox will not attack children
At this exclusive Swiss finishing school the motto is
Action speak louder than words
Most of the people here are celebrating mass
All except the two children under the table
They're into mass destruction
It's not a smart move to get on the wrong side of the big guy upstairs
but it would be smart to get on our good side by sending us a funny home video
Have a look at these fantastic grand final prizes
Third prize is the ultimate state-of-the-art audio and visual equipment
worth $25,000 from JVC, where quality matters
You can win over 30 separate items including an incredible $5,000 television
two home stereos, a car stereo system with CD player and two superb camcorders
and all of this magnificent equipment comes from JVC, the inventors of VHS
Second prize is the Nissan Serena SX-3
that seats a family of seven in comfort and style
with a 2.0-litre EFI engine and luxury features such as central locking,
power windows and mirrors plus power steering
Nissan's manoeuvrable Serena is the family wagon that drives like a car
And now to our exciting first prize, $50,000 cash from Thins potato chips
Thins will thicken your bank account by $50,000 in cash
if you're the winner of Australia's funniest home video
Thins is the best home video ever
Thins, they're not as thick as some
There's still time to get your videos in to qualify for those great prizes
but you'll have to be pretty quick because the deadline is getting close
Imagine the sort of Christmas you could have with $50,000 cash to splash around
At the school Christmas party little Damon was filled with the spirit of Elvis
Thank you, thank you very much, thank you everybody
Santa Claus has left the building
You gonna finish that fruitcake pretty mama?
Honka honka, burning holly
I won't wait
Just when I wanted for Christmas
What is this?
Thins
Huh?
It's not for me
Yes it is for you
Sure, what is it?
Look at that
Oh
Another one
Yes
I almost got it
It's the exact same one you got
Joey
What's up baby?
We hope you have a Merry Christmas out there and hope that you get home soon
We do miss you and love you very much
Right Q?
Right?
We would like to show you a trick
Can we show you a trick?
Quick, down
Okay
That's a good trick
Thanks Santa, quick mum let's get out of here, he's scary
Naturally he's an old man who comes down the chimney in the middle of the night
Run for it mum, get me out of here
Remember before video cameras were invented and you could sneak a feel of your Christmas prezzy without anyone knowing?
Well in those days she'd have got away with this
Ah, that's what they said
What's this little boy getting so excited about?
It's Christmas and he's getting a shiny new bicycle
How lucky, but I have a sneaking suspicion that he would have preferred a pogo stick
Birdie, turn the camera off, I haven't got any clothes on, I'm in my undies
Well crawl through on the floor, you won't be seen there
Oh, okay
Meow, boy I'm really glad I bought that video maker tape
It's really playing off, now I can videotape my owner opening up my gift to her I bought with my own money
I'm so happy I bought that
The video maker tape is really playing off, now I can videotape my owner opening up my gift to her I bought with my own money
A pair of stirrup stretch pants, is the camera working?
Oh, yeah, yeah, looks okay
Okay, put them back in the box, we're going to do another take, only this time have fun
Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell
Jingle bells time and jingle bell time
Dancin' and prancin' in jingle bells time
In the frosty air
What a bright time, what a bright time
To rock the night away
Jingle bell time is a swell time
To go riding in the one horseman
Giddy up jingle horse, jiggle jiggle jiggle
Jingle around the clock
Mix and a-mangle in the jingle and beep
That's the jingle bell
Coming up after the break, a bunch of goats just kiddin' around
And a hypnotized turtle going under
Okay, send your funny video to Australia's funniest home video show
Lock Bag Double Nine Double Nine, Crow's Nest, New South Wales 2065
That includes $3 postage for the return of your tape by Pony Express
And if your video is shown on television, you'll receive a fantastic show cap
So let's get all them videos in a circle, Pilgrim. Yo!
Australia, Australia, this is you
Excuse me, miss
Tonight at 8.30
Are you sitting on someone?
Can Al Bundy go three weeks without an insult?
It won't kill you
It won't kill me, it's your job
The Married With Children Hour, 8.30 tonight on Nine
There's a bright golden haze on the meadow
The corn is as high as an elephant's eye
And it looks like it's climbing clear up to the sky
Oh, what a beautiful morning
Oh, what a beautiful day
I got a beautiful
Life's like that in a Mitsubishi Lancer
These birds eye chips are great, Mum
Yes, I thought you'd like them
Would somebody get that, please?
Please, would somebody answer the phone?
Goodness sakes
No more inlicks, no more inlicks, no more inlicks
My bird eye chips
Being a mum these days really can be expensive
You do have to shop around for value
That's why it's great that Mum comes in a refill now
The 24-hour protection of MumDryRoll on now in a value refill
So you really can't goodbye without your mum
It's Copperart's biggest ever sale
Save up to $100 off these superb patchwork quilts
Slashed to just $49 single, 79 double or queen size
That's right, 49 single, 79 double or queen
But it's only for now at Copperart
Celebrating the new colours of Cafe Pacific
The airline that is the heart of Asia
A final two-hour piece with the Footy Show, 8.30 Thursday, exclusive tonight
Australia, Australia, this is you
What do you get when you cross some videos of kids with some videos of animals?
That's right, a segment on this show
Even a relaxing day on the farm can be a source of some great moments
You want to go first?
No, you go first and see what the locals are like
Hey Mr Peacock, can I be in the video with you?
No way, Fluffy Loogs, only one star here so shove off
This cocky wants to be on TV
So he sent in an audition tape for which program? Why, get away of course
Go on, go on, get on the plate
Wow, what's he eating? Smells great
Oh, it's curried sardine, my favourite
Oh goodness gracious, I'm going to feed this up on music
There's no need for you to sit around the house begging
Why not come in here and feed your brain instead?
All you have to do is call Tara on 9652425 and beg her for your free tickets
Now it's time for this studio audience to vote on tonight's Final Four Australian video, shown here in random order
First up, does she really need a posterior pacifier or the missing dummy?
I really want my dummy, I've got no idea where it is and I really need to have it
I tell you, not having your dummy when you want it's a real pain in the butt
Boo!
Then a real wipe out, toilet roll tumble
This is a strange central European park again called Pass the Sorbent
Each lady takes a length of toilet roll until one of them is overcome by emotion
Time flies when you're having fun, slow mo monkey
Hey you guys, watch me drive this cameraman crazy or I'll go slow and make you think his camera's on single frame
Hello everybody, I am the very rare monkey, how are you?
Wait, she's just back
And closed for alterations, messy mass
Most of the people here are celebrating mass
All except the two children under the table, they're into mass destruction
The fourth place runner up receives $200 worth of quality blank videotapes from JVC
Coming up soon we'll find out who this week's winners are, but first a music video set to a tune that could have been written with our show in mind
Nothing too serious
Take a look at this place
Take a look at this dance
Nothing too serious
If you close your eyes it'll be gone away
Nothing too serious
We can do it again
So nothing too serious
Look what's going on, I'm just kidding
It's a math
Thanks for the practical jokes and television's all new comedy hit Just Killing Next Online
The Mitsubishi Magna V6 gives you one of the most quiet and refined packages on the road
The option of ABS and driver's SRS airbag
And with V6 power you can take just about anything with you
Including the kitchen sink
Is there a Magna V6 in front of your house?
New fruity picks from Sanitarium, all the goodness of wheat picks with delicious chunks of real fruit
Can you imagine a better start to the day?
Hmm...
Yeah
New fruity picks from Sanitarium, can you imagine a better start to the day?
Once upon a time
I will call you Thumbelina
I thought I was the only one my size in the whole world
Warner Brothers Family Entertainment presents Don Bluth's Thumbelina
It was a tough one
Create a new pad for Kotex that fits better
After all, the better it fits, the better it protects
But how?
The answer was staring me in the face
Make it curved, women are
And here it is
Soft and gently gathered to fit the body
The first pad specially curved to protect in a totally new way
The better it fits, the better it protects
The new curved pad from Kotex
You got the kids off, alright?
Uh huh
Oh, peeling the potatoes
Should be ready shortly
Oh
Oh, timing
The potatoes are almost done
Isn't this nice?
Just the two of us, 60 water
This smells nice, doesn't it?
On a carrot affair
Here he comes
One man's amazing life's work
You're a very special bird
It's the longest running science project in the world
It's huge
Striving to save the mystical albatross from extinction
It'll be worth it in the end
Tomorrow 6.30
Australia, Australia, this is you
I'm sure that many of you have seen the movie Thelma and Louise
And some of you are even called Thelma and Louise
Well, Betty Franklin and Joyce Peterson searched their old home movie cabinet
Did a bit of re-editing and came up with this parody production video called Thelma and Latrine
Tonight, criminals at large focuses on the notorious duo of Thelma and Latrine
Thelma is wanted in Oklahoma, Latrine is wanted in Arkansas
Or is it the other way around?
Actually, they're both wanted in both states
They glued them off to this baby's diaper and labeled him Butterfly Butt
They forced this woman to eat a box of bobby pins
We asked Thelma's father if the suspects had tried to contact him
They were ruthless
Hey, old lady, drop that watermelon
But you said I could have some
Well, he changed our mind
They were spotted in Detroit but managed to skip town
Hey, why is your name Latrine?
Hollywood, you can kick your Oscars, we've got prizes of our own
And now it's time to find out who our winners are
Third prize tonight has been won by Nessie Mass
Sent in by Grant Huntley from Hardcourt in Victoria
Congratulations, Grant
You've won $2,000 worth of electrical products from Rentload
You can choose a new television or video, select a camcorder or fax machine
Or the latest hi-fi stereo, all from their Shop at Home guide
So remember, 132311, just ring and rent from Rentload
Tonight's second prize has been won by Slow Mo Monkey
Sent in by Lisa MacKenzie from Hazelmere in WA
Congratulations, Lisa
You can now get into videos in a big way with this complete home video outfit from JVC
There's the compact video camera with autofocus and power zoom
The fully programmable VCR with Express Timer
And this 34cm remote control colour television, all from JVC
Hear the difference, see the difference
And now it's tonight's first prize, which has been won by the Missing Dummy
Ready by Daryl Cox from Springdale South in Victoria
I really want my dummy
I've got no idea where it is and I really need to have it
I tell you, not having your dummy when you want it's a real pain in the butt
Congratulations, Daryl
You've won all of these products
A house full of hoover, including a 480 litre automatic frost-free refrigerator
With fan-forced cold air
And the big 1500 extra heavy-duty washing machine with power poles agitation
All from hoover, built to outperform and out-laugh
Congratulations to all of our winners and thanks to everyone who sent videos in
Keep sending them because there are still heaps of great prizes to be won
Before we go tonight, we have one last video for you featuring the latest showbiz sensation
A hypnotist turtle
Goodnight everyone, see you next week
This is funny, thank you, do
Australia, Australia
This is you
This is all things funny, thank you, so
They never grow
You might be a star tonight
So let that catch you, go
So dig your bags in blue
Funny, thank you, do
Australia, Australia
This is you
Don't stand there, so, makes me want to throw up
Don't worry old man
Keep an eye on it
It's a fun way to see the world, yeah
Don't have any gummies when you want, it's a real fun in the butt
This program was proudly brought to you by
Cathay Pacific, the heart of Asia
And Mitsubishi Motors
Hi there and welcome to Just Kidding
Well, today we're in the heart of bushfire territory at the Terry Hills fire station
This is just one of the many stations that did such great work during the Sydney bushfires
Fortunately there's no chance of any fire today
And somewhere with me is Sophie Formica
Where are you, Sophie?
I'm here, hi everybody, hi Stephen, welcome to the show
Well while you're playing fireman, I thought I'd come and visit some of our furry friends
So what are you doing at a fire station?
Well later in the show we've got alarms going off left, right and centre
So I'm standing by for that emergency
Meanwhile, what's first up tonight?
Well two of our jokes tonight involve spiders and mice
So you better keep a chair handy
Oh
Both반
Well.
Both
I'm not sure.
It's not too silly, guys.
I'm not sure.
It's so funny.
It's so sexy.
It's so funny.
It's so sexy.
It's so sexy!
Tomorrow night, a proven way to keep our kids away from crime.
The courts agree. This special program is changing young lives.
When National 9 News Can Be Sure.
Do you have a pen and paper?
No.
Come on, Luke.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Ha ha ha.
John!
Come on.
John.
The stuff in my room. My washing?
I've done it.
It's my turn.
As you can see, with Double Action Drive, the toughest stains will come out in the wash.
Now.
Music!
Triple M.
Do you do that music?
Triple M.
Simple M.
Ouch.
Listen, Triple M.
Music and we aim to entertain you.
Love you.
For real music variety, there's only one real choice.
104.7.
Whoa!
Introducing a family favorite, Diople Berry Delights.
Merci.
Redberry cocktail and fruit of the forest.
These bird's eye chips are great, Mum.
Yes, I thought you'd like them.
Would somebody get that, please?
Please, would somebody answer the phone?
Goodness sakes.
Ring, ring.
Nobody next.
My bird's eye chips.
Isaac Newton was right when he said what goes up must come down.
Now, when he developed that theory, I don't think he was referring to underwear.
I'm sorry.
Thank you.
Would you like me to take your photograph together?
Good, thank you.
You have the opera house, yes?
Here?
Right?
Smile!
Thank you.
Laughter.
Lovely.
Just one moment, please.
I take here.
Laughter.
Thank you.
Laughter.
Beautiful.
Thank you.
Laughter.
Other shows have hidden cameras, we have stolen cameras.
And many thanks to Joan Lord, the actor in that last joke.
We certainly have to be fit to work on this show.
And coming up, we have some secretaries really hopping when they meet the disarming alarm.
Applause.
Eddie McGuire, Sam Newman, Ted Whitten, Mal Brown, Doug Hawkins.
They're grown men having a ball.
You've watched them religiously all year.
Now it's the final feast.
Thursday, 8.30 on Channel 9 at 2R Special.
Don't miss it, for heaven's sake.
We'll solver it instead.
So Mum, Dad, you.
Since when did you order two pizzas?
1690, who wouldn't order two?
And besides, we wanted to eat with our son.
Well, I'm working.
At least you're punctual.
It's part of the job.
So how's about a tip?
A tip?
Work hard, be good to your mother.
Two large pizzas, just 1690 from Pizza Hut.
I make all kinds of salads, but I only use one mayonnaise.
Kraft.
Because Kraft has all the taste, but only half the fat of some others.
Kraft Mayonnaise.
Your healthy salads deserve Kraft.
Whoa!
Improvising your very light vanilla basket.
Vanilla and Macadamia, Vanilla and Mango, and Vanilla and Walnut.
Better Homes and Gardens. Out now.
What?
I'll see you later.
Oh, she did it.
Stupid thing.
What's happening? Where's the fire?
Oh, you can't keep coming in because of the noise. Because the phone's ringing and I'm there talking.
Have you been doing this?
Stupid thing.
Any messages?
Yes. On my desk.
On your desk. Can you look in that mirror?
Yes.
Can you see anything?
Myself.
There's also a camera behind you.
And we are just kidding.
So that's how people reacted to fire alarms. After the break we're going to see how they reacted to burglar alarms.
It's okay. We catch the culprit and we become very attached to him.
Can Al go three weeks without an insult?
Bet you five dollars you can't.
I will take that bet you bon bon binging bozo.
Barry for children is next.
What do advertisers say about the big colour pages?
Being a new book I can get towards the front of the category in which we're advertising.
Which will give me greater exposure than my current advertisements in the telecom yellow pages.
Where I pay the same as the person up the front but get less calls because I'm further towards the back.
The big colour pages. The buying guide your customers will be turning to.
And I was attracted by the price. It costs much less than the telecom yellow pages.
Good presentation is so important but it usually comes at a high price.
At Hewlett Packard we believe this shouldn't be the case.
With the HP LaserJet 4L you get high quality printouts day after day page after page.
The Hewlett Packard LaserJet 4L.
Looking this good has never been so affordable.
If it isn't an HP LaserJet it's only a laser printer.
Oh we bought it with the money we saved on our telecom bill.
You'd be surprised how much you can save with a telecom flexi plan.
Call now and see how we can help you.
What's come out of Africa and into the Meyer Centre?
The wildest collection of new spring fashions on parade.
Unleash your native instincts this week at the Meyer Centre.
Where it's always an adventure.
Right now if you buy any two of these 4L cans of Dulux paint you get a 4L can of jelly beans.
Absolutely free.
You can also win a giant jelly bean.
Well a new Mazda 121.
But don't delay, stocks are limited.
There's never been a better time to bring your home to life with Dulux.
Now with a different story each week.
Hey get back!
Outstanding drama continues.
What the hell are we going to do?
I'm leaving Marangari.
Hard rending decisions.
I just know that I've got to get away.
Tonight 9.30 more The Land Online.
You know when our just kidding actors aren't out in the street intruding into people's lives.
We try to keep them locked up nice and secure so that they can't cause too much damage.
Every now and then however one of them gets away.
You can give me a hand here could you?
Help me out here?
What I need you to do is just try to get this damn thing off me.
Can you guys?
Can you get that there?
No!
Left me.
No, no, no.
Just maybe, maybe.
If you grab the string I can get.
Do it yourself.
Okay, just pull it over my head.
You just need to hold this for a moment because I'm going to get something.
I'm going to get it.
Excuse me.
I'm going to get it.