Hi, I'm Katherine, Christina, Patrick, and Christopher's mom, Maria Shriver.
One of the most important things to every working parent I meet is quality
child care. We all need help when it comes to raising our kids, but when you
have to leave your child with someone else, it can stir up lots of emotions,
from guilt to sadness to self-doubt. If you're feeling that way, take it from me.
You are not alone. Good child care is out there, but it helps to know what to look
for and the right questions to ask. That's what this video is all about. Why
does it matter that your child care is good? At the moment of birth, the brain
has over 100 billion nerve cells that keep growing and interconnecting as the
baby grows. You see, the brain isn't finished at birth. It develops through
interaction with the world. In its experiences of early childhood, these
first three years that put in place the entire biological foundation for the way
the child will think and feel and behave and relate to other human beings.
Science has now learned it's really the secure attachment to loving, consistent
people in these early years that literally enables a baby's brain to grow.
These relationships result in healthy emotions and sound intelligence. So when
parents, the baby's most important people, have to go to work, they should
try to find the very best caregivers in the very best place they can. You know,
when she cries, no one's there to take care of her. You know, and you figure, they
don't love these children, like, do you love your own?
Kristen Newell, first-time mother. She'll soon be going back to her job as an
administrative assistant. My concern was would they know what she needed? Would
they know when she need to be fed? What if they don't feed her the way I feed her?
What if they don't burp her in between? Just silly things like that. Not silly at
all. And Kristen's doing what every parent should, taking a thorough look at
the place she's considering for her three-month-old daughter. It's difficult
enough to leave your children. I understand that completely because I
went through it. Laura and her mother, Eleanor, started their center when Laura
herself couldn't find good childcare. We try really hard to reassure them that we
understand what they're going through and that we will do our best to care for
them. Nearly four out of ten kids in child care go to centers like this one,
which looks after infants through preschoolers. I don't know what I
expected. And we had a lot of people who have come here, so we had wonderful
references to go by. It's the first thing a parent should ask for, especially if
you're new in town. Talk to neighbors, pediatricians, people at church. You can
also contact organizations specializing in childcare referral. We'll tell you how
to get in touch with some of them later. I was very impressed and everything was
totally kid-oriented. You can see it the moment you walk in. Whether center or
family-based, providers should be involved with the kids on the floor, down
on their level. When you're interviewing, make sure the caregivers are interested
in hearing about your child and that they talk about the other kids the way
you'd want them to talk about your own. I was shocked at how clean it was. The
place doesn't have to be a palace, but it should be very, very clean, especially
the food-related areas. It's simple. Germs make kids sick. We try to keep it as
clean as their home would be. The children should be kept clean, too. Infants
and toddlers changed often, with providers' hands washed after every
change. And the older ones taught to begin their own good habits. So this is the
younger toddlers? The place should also be safe, child-proof, as well as your own
houses. Appliances, medicines, and cleaning products kept out of reach,
outlets covered, and a smoke-free environment. Toys appropriate to the age
group, play and pool areas fenced in, and playground equipment safe. And the staff
trained in basic first aid and CPR skills. Make sure emergency numbers are
posted. Ask about how illnesses and accidents are handled. You can even give
them some what-ifs to see how they respond. What's your policy on that? We'll
touch base with you, give you a call. Find out how your provider deals with
things like allergies and asthma. And if your child has special mental or
physical challenges, know that delayed development can be improved with early
intervention. Your local health department can steer you towards services
for your disabled child. Make sure your provider is willing and able to help. How
many babies are in here? You should also always ask about the size of the group
your child will be in, and look at the number of kids per caregiver. Your baby
needs lots of loving attention, so the smaller the group, the better. A good rule
of thumb? For each adult, there should be no more than three or four infants, four
to six toddlers, or six to seven preschoolers. When you bring Ryan in in
the morning, her basic routine... Because of the way their brains develop, kids
need routines, structure, predictability. You should get an idea of what your
child will be doing all day and when. What position do you put them to sleep?
Check out the policy on naps, and if you have an infant, make sure the
cribs are safe and that your baby will be placed on her or his back to sleep.
What's your policy on sick kids not feeling good? If children are sick, we
would... Find out about any other policies the provider may have and make sure you
agree with them. Now if I have a few extra hours during the day, can I stop in?
And anything else that means a lot to you. Where your child spends the day is
one of the most important decisions you'll ever make, but a good place just
doesn't exist without good people. Child care providers, I think, really are
undervalued. This is someone who you're leaving your three-month-old with. This,
as far as I'm concerned, really is the most important job of all. You should
think of your child care provider as a partner, a partner in parenting. And
what's the hallmark of a great caregiver? First and foremost, they need to
genuinely care about children. A top-notch caregiver really locks in on
the kids, watching them, listening to them, and respecting them. Respect their
needs, respect their wishes, respect their tantrums, respect all their
feelings. All of this comes not only from really liking kids, it comes from
understanding them. I mean, I always tell parents there's no magic here. It's that
teachers know and understand development. The more knowledge caregivers have, the
better it is for your baby. So ask about their experience and training. Because
it's critical they understand the different stages of growth and
development and what kids need at each step. Some things to look for. The infants,
there's a lot of holding, cuddling. Emotional attachment plays a big part in
early brain development. And touch is how that's first communicated. Holding,
caressing, soothing. That's what a baby needs to stimulate brain growth and
develop emotionally. They also need more. You want to get on the floor and play
with them and read them a story and sing them a song and and help with their
language, you know, as they start to talk. Warm, stimulating, responsive care. Babies
just eat that up. And when infants turn into the walking, talking dynamos called
toddlers, they need caregivers who understand their growing independence. At
three, thinking and social skills begin to really blossom and children can
handle more school-like learning. How a good provider works isn't always obvious.
Sometimes it's hidden in the smallest moments, like this one. Son has just
started at the center and he's very shy.
Sarah's not usually a wallflower, but she's got it in her head not to dirty her
brand-new ruby slippers. Now watch how Jason handles them. He offers to bring
the wagon to them and make sure that they each get their turn, easing them
into the group. Now they're having a great time. Watch for moments like this.
They signal sensitive caregivers who know what makes kids tick. Children form
attachments to these kinds of people. It helps them feel safe and secure. It's
also important that good caregivers be a continuing part of their lives, so look
for a place with low turnover. Good providers are consistent, loving people
who know about kids, who really care about kids at the most critical time in
their lives. A lot of great thinkers have said that if you don't make the
investment in the lives of very young children, that you know you miss a real,
you miss a window of opportunity in how they think, how they feel about
themselves, and what they grew up to be.
Up till now we've been looking at the child care center and while that is the
most popular form of care, there are others that might be just as good for
you. In home care where the caregiver comes to you and so-called family care
which takes place in the provider's own home. I love to see children learn. I love
to see them discover new things. Remember when the nurse came, we talked about
our heart. Where's our heart? Karen Hoar is a family provider. She takes care of a
group of six kids out of her own home in the suburbs. She's a trained teacher. I'm
providing a service that is not only an in-home environment but at the same time
it's a learning environment. Karen takes pride in her professionalism. She thinks
parents should look for caregivers who do the same. When you walk into a
provider's home, the first thing you should look for is the certificate of
inspection. Are they insured? You should also look for the same low child to
caregiver numbers you'd expect in a center and the same approach to
children. Even if they're doing it in their home, children must be stimulated
be it an infant or a preschooler. Once again, don't feel shy about asking lots
of questions. How long have you been taking care of children? How many
children have you been taking care of? If you have an assistant, how much does
that person make? You have a right to ask these questions. You're paying for your
children. Find out if anyone else in the provider's home will come into contact
with your child. Make sure you meet that person. Also ask if any activities will
take the children off-site. Be certain the way they get there is safe and that
you know where they'll be at all times. Once you choose any kind of child care,
stay involved. Try to drop in on an ounce from time to time. If someone tells
you you have to call before you come to see your child, that is not the place for
you. Good care should look the same wherever you go and how can you be sure
it's good? Watch your child for cues. No child will be happy all the time but if
yours looks forward to his day and seems to genuinely enjoy the people he or she
is with, that's the best sign of all that you've made the right choice in child
care.
It's tiring. It's hard work. I'm exhausted at the end of the day but it's
such a joy to see them growing up. You're both the way. Sometimes you don't need to
look any farther than your own family for child care. I get here around 730, 20
minutes to 8. Marianne passed her grandmother to year-old twins. The girls
are up. They've had their bottle. I give them their breakfast. We get up. We play.
Marianne and her family practice in-home care where the provider comes into your
own house. It can take many forms. Professional nanny, neighbor or relative.
Including grandparents as official caregivers for the children. I really
think that her primary concern was her age and was she can be able to keep up
with them. Guess what? Marianne has been able to keep up and like any good
provider, she keeps learning more about how children develop. Even if it's a
relative, your standard should be as high as for anyone else. Expect your
caregiver to know what your kids need to grow and to work with you as a real
partner in bringing them up. My mom and I are a team raising the children. How are
you today? A close-knit team that can give the girls a special experience. I'm
trying to give them a happy home life and a sense of who they are and who I am
in their life. It can be the best of both worlds. Care you can count on right in
your own home with someone who's truly one of the family. After you've made
your decision on where to go, it's time to get ready for the big day. That first
day of childcare and be prepared because it can be pretty emotional. Remember
Kristen Newell? Well she ended up choosing the center she visited called
Briarfield. Let's watch her on her first day. When a parent gives up a child to
somebody else, they go through a real grief reaction. It's like giving up part
of yourself. It's like you're giving your child to a stranger.
Kristen and husband Terry both have to work. They don't have any alternative.
Their choice is in childcare. For us I think this is the best place for Ryan.
Anything she can possibly, you know, need developmentally, interaction with other
children, it's all here. In her mind Kristen knows they're doing the right
thing. But her heart is still torn. She's gonna forget us, you know, maybe we're
not gonna, she's not gonna think of us as fun. Research has shown that children
don't forget their parents. But Kristen's feelings are universal. You should try
to understand that if you go through what Kristen is, it's completely normal.
They think oh boy is my baby going to attach to these people and not know who
I am and we reassure them that that's not the case, that we're just filling in.
They're changed basically every two hours. Never thought this would be like
this. Never. I didn't, you know, they tell you oh it's awful, it's awful, it's awful.
It is. Yes, that's mom. That's mom. Don't you forget it. We don't want her to forget us.
Yeah, no, absolutely not. You, you, well you will see. If somebody could just say
to her oh it's so wonderful you care so deeply. It hurts so much because she
cares so much. It's really the most precious gift a parent can give. And
first days aren't only tough on parents. Meet Julia, three years old. It's her
first day too. You think maybe tomorrow? Julia Center has a great policy. They
ask parents to come in if they can and stay with the children for the first few
days to help them get used to the brand-new environment. There's a lot for
a child to adjust to. So expect some bumps along the way.
Listen to your caregivers. They have plenty of tips to help you. And be
assured that with lots of love and understanding, your child will do just
fine. Other things that will help your child. Give her something from home to
keep during the day. A favorite stuffed animal, a special book, even a picture of
you taped inside the lunchbox. Anything that will remind your child how much she
is loved at home. Once you've started in childcare, your work is not done. You've
got to stay involved. And that means working with your partner, the care giver.
Leslie Callahan is a single mother. She has two sons, three-year-old Michael and
Robert five. I'm always saying I can't sit, I can't play, I got to get ready for
work. You know we have school today. The hectic pace plays out in the children.
They can feel yanked from one place to the next. And it all comes to a head,
especially when parents drop off and pick up. It's called transition time and
it's the day's first opportunity for you and your caregiver to work together.
There's times I think he doesn't want to let go of me because he knows I have to
leave him. Easing your child into the day is the smartest strategy. Your caregiver
can be a big help. Just watch how Annette does it. A smooth transition in the
morning can mean a lot to your day too. I know when I get into work, I know my
kids are in good hands. Working with your caregivers is critical on other issues
as well, like toilet training. While the provider has the right to set basic
policy, you should make sure your child isn't pushed. Look for a place that
looks for your child's signs that he's ready, then helps him with something he
himself wants to do and at his own pace. Discipline's another big one, as Leslie
knows. Well Michael is a pretty aggressive child. It's vital for you and
the caregivers to agree on limit setting. They should use techniques like
verbalizing feelings and redirecting attention, but never, never let anyone
shake, spank or hit your child. He could be seriously injured, physically and
emotionally. Discipline should really be all about teaching. You know, he's
learning about other children's behaviors, how other children behave
toward him and how he behaves toward them. Your child is constantly developing,
changing, so constant communication with your caregiver is critical. Find a way
to make it a regular part of every day. It'll help make your childcare work all
that much better. It's a really good school. I love it. I love it. I love it. I
love it. They do so much with the kids. I love it. What happens if you and your
caregiver don't agree on some big issue? Well first, try to talk it out, but if
you really can't agree and it really is important, you've got to have the
courage to change providers. I know it may be tough, but it will probably be a
lot better for your child in the long run, and that's what really matters most.
We need to give our girls a better education so that they don't have to go
through this, through the punishment that I went through in life. Getting low, low
paying jobs, just a GED or whatever, we want them to go to college just like
everybody else, and for that we have to start on very, very early. Jose Torabillo
and his wife Marie know all about early starts. We actually start 5 15 in the
morning just to get the quality care that we're getting from this place. Both
parents work in a big city hospital. She's a nurse. He's in supplies. Actually
we can trust this place. This is one thing that we know. It's like living with
my mother. The Torabillos qualify for a half scholarship from their hospital.
The employer helping us pay the bill is one of the greatest things that could
ever happen in our lives because otherwise we couldn't afford it. Good
child care costs money. In many cases it's one of the biggest items in the
family budget. 50% of our families wouldn't be able to come here if they
didn't have the employer support that they have. Caring about child care makes
sense for any employer. Child care is the largest and most important impediment to
productivity and so companies are seeing that if they're going to recruit, attract
and keep the best people, they need to help their employees with child care. As
a parent and an employee, it's up to you to encourage your own employer to support
child care. Find out what help might already be available and lobby for
change if change is needed. I don't know what percentage children are of our
present but I do know they're 100% of our future and if we don't make the
investment that we need to make in them through the community infrastructure
then we will not have the country that we believe we should have down the road.
The Torabillos future is their children. Jose sees it at the end of every day.
It's the most beautiful feeling to see them that they're okay, they're well, they
come and hug me, they kiss me and is ready to go for another day. The girls
are getting what they need in their early years and they're loving it. Most
of the time they don't want to go but home is home. Good child care, it means so
much for our kids, for our families, for all of us. We've covered a lot in this
half hour and you may want to go back and look at the sections you need as you
move from one stage to the next but here are the most important things to keep in
mind. Your child care should be safe, clean and child-oriented. Your caregiver
should genuinely love children, be interested in your child and be trained
to know what children need. Understand that both you and your child will go
through a period of emotional adjustment. It's normal and a positive sign of a
strong bond between the two of you. Also understand that a secure attachment to a
caregiver will only enhance the healthy development of your child. Stay involved
and keep communicating with your provider on a daily basis. Try to become
a force for positive change in your company and in your community. Finally and
most important, the early years of your child's life are the most critical. It
matters that your child care is good care because the first years really do
last forever.
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