What is your emergency?
Dave's been kidnapped!
Who's Dave, ma'am?
My boyfriend!
Description?
Blue eyes, pointy nose, round face...
Tall, short?
Short.
Caucasian?
Very white.
Last seen.
On my antenna!
He said the sourdough jack is a big juicy patty stacked with melting cheese and bacon
on grilled crunchy sourdough bread!
Ma'am, is Dave an antenna ball?
That ball was special.
Ma'am, just buy a sourdough jack combo.
You'll get another antenna ball free.
Oh.
Dad, sometimes I feel like we're different.
Are we different, Dad?
We are different, son.
We only use real chicken breast fillets in our chicken breast pieces combo.
They're not nuggets.
And our fish and chips combo is made with whole fish fillets from Alaska.
You bet we're different.
And proud of it.
But aren't we different in another way?
Our fries are better than McDonald's.
That's my boy.
Breakfast!
Morning, Sweetie.
Morning, Mom.
Morning, dear.
Hi, Gramps.
Hey, kiddo.
So Mom, what the heck's for breakfast?
I'll have your sourdough breakfast sandwich with a fresh egg and ham and cheese.
Oh, put me down for one of them breakfast biscuits.
Whatcha gonna call it?
The big one with sausage, egg and cheese.
Oh, the nearest Jag in the Box is 100 miles away.
Did I ever tell you how difficult your birth was?
Got your keys?
Our bodies need good food.
That's why every day we should have at least one what?
Classic shake combo.
Yes, a classic shake combo with a frosty shake made with real ice cream.
And where do we go for milkshakes made with real ice cream?
McDonald's.
Question?
My mommy says ice cream milkshakes make you fat.
Tell your mommy to be happy with who she is and stop being bitter about her thighs.
Okay.
Every year I gather the balls for a company retreat.
It's a chance to get away from our offices and antennas and enjoy the great outdoors.
It's a weekend for building teamwork and trust.
The big news for this year is the Sourdough Jack, our most unique burger ever,
is now even better because we won't make it until the customer orders it.
Jack rescued me from a wild chipmunk.
I love you, bro!
Excuse me, miss.
Who are you?
I'm an antenna ball.
Can I interest you in a Sourdough Jack?
You're not an antenna ball. You're a head case.
Well, if I am not an antenna ball, how would I know you can now get a warm,
crunchy Sourdough Jack in a combo meal with a thick frosty milkshake made with real ice cream?
And if I'm not an antenna ball, why am I sitting on a car antenna?
Not an antenna ball.
Now who looks stupid?
Excuse me, miss.
Girl, you know that there's one thing that I love,
but it's not you I'm thinking of.
I want the ultimate cheeseburger.
Break it down!
Cheese meat, cheese, cheese meat, and that's it.
Baby, you know it's hot and juicy,
cause Jack won't make it till you want to rip.
Girls love this.
Our target is men.
What's the target?
You said cheese meat, cheese, cheese, cheese, cheese.
Break it down!
Jack?
Oh, hi sweetheart.
Yeah, I know it's late.
I'm still working on a name for the new bacon cheeseburger.
The one with sizzling bacon and real bacon bits, so there's bacon in every bite.
Mm-hmm. Yeah, it'll be hot, cause we won't make it till it's ordered.
Well, the only name I've got so far is Bacon Bacon Cheeseburger,
so I'm gonna keep working here and...
You're wearing what?
Before I opened my Jack in the Box restaurants here in Charlotte,
I spent some time getting to know you.
Y'all.
What are you?
I'm Jack, the founder of a billion dollar fast food company.
Well, I guess the thing that makes me different is...
Your head.
That I don't use holding bins.
My burgers are hot, cause we won't make it till you order it.
But what's with your head?
I look like my dad.
What's with your ears?
Same.
I like Charlotte.
I like that I can just blend in and find out what people really want.
So, uh, you like milkshakes?
Well, then you're gonna love my milkshakes, cause I make them with real ice cream.
Are you for real?
It's kind of strange, isn't it? Real ice cream shakes.
Where are you from?
California.
That figures.
Since I'm new here in Charlotte, I try to get out and introduce myself to as many people as possible.
Who are you?
I'm Jack, the founder of Jack in the Box.
I tell people I do fast food a little differently.
My burgers are hot, because we won't make it till you order it.
My fries are rated better than McDonald's, and my shakes are thick and frosty and made with real ice cream.
But no matter where I go, people give me the same look.
I guess they're just not used to milkshakes made with real ice cream.
Jack? Um, how do you know if you're a lesbian?
Did you have a question?
No.
Don't be afraid to talk about burgers.
Okay, I'll start. Even though my Jumbo Jack is just 99 cents, it's still a great burger.
Big and juicy and hot, cause we won't make it till you order it.
That's where I'm coming from.
Thanks. That helps.
See, I think that works.
It's boring.
It's not boring. Those are real chicken breast pieces and real fish filets from Alaska.
It needs something. You're gonna like this. Hip-hop pool party. You got your food, plus your lifestyle.
I don't need lifestyle. I've got big meals of real chicken and fish.
Look at how that works.
And the winner of this year's Hamburger Vanguard Award is...
Jack, we won't make it till you order it.
Wow. You know, you dream about this, but, uh, wow. Um, so many people to thank.
Uh, big thanks to my crew for making We Won't Make It Till You Order It such a huge success.
Okay, just give me a second.
Um, to my dear wife, I love you. Thank you, Terry Graham, Bob LaCrosse, Margaret Barretto, Bill Hopkins, and the whole We Won't Make It Till You Order It team.
Um, thanks to our guests. Back up!
Open the back.
Millennium balls.
You know, for antennas.
They're free when you buy a sourdough jack combo.
Jack here with big news. I'm getting rid of my 99-cent menu. Why? Because I want to be richer.
Joe, we need a cut.
And if you don't like it tough, go somewhere else, like Joe's Burger Hut at 7-8 DuPont.
Oh, no. I knew this was a bad idea. Please don't hurt me. I'm just a cameraman.
What do you think you're doing?
He said you're dumping your 99-cent menu.
Never! My classic jumbo jack is still just 99 cents, served hot and delicious because We Won't Make It Till You Order It.
Hey, I'm Jack and I'm going to jail.
Ultimate Cheeseburger. It's just a buck 99.
Can we fix that?
MCB is a fat fresh bomb.
Hi, I'm Jack, founder of Jack in the Box, and this is my wife, Cricket.
Hi.
After years of trying, we are so thrilled about a certain recent development. You want to tell them?
No, you didn't.
How about together?
We're having a new Chicken Supreme.
It's huge.
Much bigger than our first Chicken Supreme, it's tender and delicious with melting cheese and fresh lettuce and tomato on a two-fisted roll.
Do I look fat to you?
No.
I get lots of letters. Ed Husting of Yakima writes, Dear Burger Dork, you think your ads are so dang clever. Just show me the dang burger and tell me what's on it.
Point taken, Ed.
Presenting the Bacon Ultimate Cheeseburger. A towering burger boasting two sizzling hot jumbo patties covered with melting cheese and eight pieces of mouth-watering bacon.
It's massive and served hot because we won't make it till you order it.
You were right, Ed. The food speaks for itself.
Over the years, I've been the subject of many outrageous articles. First, the Bigfoot story. Then the alien thing. But now it's gone too far.
I'm committed to great tasting food for 99 cents. Like my new Cheese Cheeseburger, a juicy patty with two types of melting cheese served hot because we won't make it till you order it.
Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a corporation to run.
Well, how'd that go?
What I really love about being in Italy is getting away from the office, taking my mind off work.
Jack! Jack! Dude, you open a restaurant here?
I'm on vacation.
Oh, bummer.
Ah, because all they got here is Italian food.
We're jonesing for something different.
Yeah, like that chicken fajita pita. All that tasty chicken, lettuce, tomato and cheese and a soft-worn pita.
Yeah, that's a good one.
So you got one on you?
I have a job.
Italy. To me it means great beauty and rich history. But it's the food that makes an Italian vacation so special. And for me, a total tax write-off.
I've learned so many things here. I've learned that in Italy, the food isn't called Italian food, it's just called food.
I learned that if you ask for a thick and frosty milkshake made with real ice cream, they look at you like you're from another planet.
And I've learned that in Bocce Ball, you're supposed to throw underhand. Otherwise, our shared passion for food allows me to fit right in.
We agree that french fries should be golden and crispy, and that the French hogged all the credit.
And when I told them my burgers are hot and delicious because we don't make it till you order it, I knew we had bonded, even though they had no idea what I was talking about.
But the most important thing these passionate people taught me is this. When you attend an Italian soccer match, you better root for Italy.
The fountains of Rome are one of the things I love most about Italy.
This is the famous Trevi Fountain. Legend has it that if you toss coins into Trevi Fountain, you will someday come back.
You know, standing here, I can't help but think of my milkshakes.
Because if you visit Jack in the Box and toss us some coins for a thick and frosty milkshake made with real ice cream, you'll definitely come back.
Don't worry, that was about a buck.
People say Italy has the world's best food, so I tagged along with a local chef who shared his secrets.
The rare truffle is a delicacy that can only be found by the sensitive snouts of the pig.
I too have a delicacy that requires a pig. It's called the Bacon Bacon Cheeseburger.
It's stacked with four pieces of mouth-watering bacon on melting cheese covered with even more bacon bits so there's bacon in every bite.
That sounds delicious. And easier!
Stop by and get a free holiday ball when you buy a sourdough Jack combo.
The holiday balls are coming to town.
Just imagine, Jack, in all your stores, the convenience of a self-serve gas station and the flavor of liquefied sandwiches.
When you're really hungry, nothing beats a nozzle.
When my customers get hungry, they go for my Bacon Ultimate Cheeseburger Combo.
It's huge, stacked with eight pieces of bacon, and right now I'll jumbo-size the drink and fries for free. I've seen enough.
You can't stop progress. Hey, no topping off!
Jack, welcome to Signs and Stuffing Things.
Yeah, I got this spicy chicken sandwich with just the right amount of spice, and it's served hot because we won't make it until you order it.
But here's the big thing. It's real chicken breast. You got a sign like that?
No. No. No.
No! Real chicken breast! How do you stay in business?
How fast can I get a Chipmunk tube top sign?
Uh, excuse me. These cash register buttons you sold me are worn out.
Stress fracture. What are you using them for?
My cheese cheeseburger for 99 cents. Plus my entire 99 cent menu. You know, burgers and chicken and breakfast biscuits.
These are JR20s. They're not designed for a 99 cent menu with so many items. These are junk.
You need the XL99. Military grade titanium.
Ooh.
So, what's your deal?
Um, fast food consultant. I'll try your product and tell you if I like it. What do you got?
Well, I'm proud of my new taquitos. They're rolled, seasoned, shredded beef topped with real cheddar cheese.
Okay, I'll eat that.
What do you charge?
Twenty-five thousand dollars.
Any takers?
All I need is one.
So the 25,000 is?
Per nugget.
Pro football's newest team is the Carnivores. Let's meet the owner. Jack, why football?
Well, Gar, I love the game. I'm a team builder and I think the guys respect me.
So, what's your first move?
These are big guys and they need a big breakfast. We're going to fill them up with my ultimate breakfast sandwich, maybe a supreme croissant.
Let me tell you, that ultimate breakfast sandwich with the two eggs, the bacon, the ham and the cheese, you're looking at a farm on a bun.
Any other changes?
Shimmie hip, shimmie hip, puss, puss.
Work. Plane.
Hey, aren't you Jack?
Uh, no.
Hey, it's Jack.
You got anything new coming out?
Well, do you like buffalo wings? Do you like Frank's red hot sauce?
Well, now you can dunk my chicken breast pieces in Frank's red hot sauce and they'll taste just like buffalo wings.
So now when you want the great taste of buffalo wings, you won't have to go to strip clubs.
For years, doctors have urged you to eat foods low in fat and high in fiber.
Apparently, we got that all wrong.
A new study shows that men and women should eat more stuffed jalapenos and bacon cheddar potato wedges.
Tests prove that when added to your meal, whole jalapenos stuffed with three kinds of cheese and bacon cheddar potato wedges can remove wrinkles.
Furthermore, I believe bacon prevents hair loss.
Where did you find this guy?
A tobacco company.
Hey, welcome to my pad.
This is my dog, Ronald.
I got some rides.
I'm glad I have a swimming pool.
Here, check out my kitchen.
What's on the ultimate cheeseburger?
Two meaty jumbo patties and three slices of melting cheese.
And?
It's always serve hot because we don't make it until you order it.
That'll be $1.99.
Huh?
All I got are thousands.
Time for the Jack in the Box play of the day.
The Carnivores play host to division rivals the LA Vegans.
During the coin toss, Carnivore linebacker Luttrell Shank lays a textbook hit on vegan quarterback Jake Granola, ensuring a 55 to nothing Carnivore blowout.
The play of the day is brought to you by the new Triple Ultimate Cheeseburger.
Three all-pro jumbo patties stacked with three slices of cheese.
Eat like a Carnivore.
Go to Jack in the Box where they don't make it until a Carnivore orders it.
Time for the Jack in the Box play of the day.
With time running out and their owner fearing the worst, things look bad for the Carnivores as Dallas corn dog kicker Arnie Asada lined up a chip shot for the win.
But it was regulation football giveaway night at Carnivore Stadium and a sold out crowd responded.
The play of the day is brought to you by the new Triple Ultimate Cheeseburger.
Three all-pro jumbo patties stacked with three slices of cheese.
Eat like a Carnivore.
Go to Jack in the Box where they don't make it until a Carnivore orders it.
Time for the Jack in the Box play of the day.
With the Carnivores down by six and their owner hoping for a miracle, Carnivore tailback Deion Besson turns it up field with only sprout safety Moses Lawne between him and Pay Dirt.
A crucial block from the Carnivore mascot turns certain defeat into sweet victory.
The play of the day is brought to you by the new Triple Ultimate Cheeseburger.
Three all-pro jumbo patties stacked with three slices of cheese.
Eat like a Carnivore.
Go to Jack in the Box where they don't make it until a Carnivore orders it.
Time for the Jack in the Box play of the day.
The Cincinnati Rice Cakes complete a Hail Mary at the Carnivore one.
The Cakes need only a timeout to punch it in for the win.
But when the Carnivore cheerleaders put their back fields in motion, the Rice Cake Drive crumbles.
The play of the day is brought to you by the $1.99 Ultimate Cheeseburger.
Two monster patties and three slices of melting cheese for just $1.99.
Eat like a Carnivore.
Come to Jack in the Box where we don't make it until a Carnivore orders it.
Time for the Jack in the Box play of the day.
The always dangerous Boston Bean Putt returner Terrell Garbanzo is ready to burn the Carnivores with his third TD.
But he didn't get far as the Carnivore blimp pilot breaks through the wedge with an emphatic, not in my house.
The play of the day is brought to you by the $1.99 Ultimate Cheeseburger.
Two monster patties and three slices of melting cheese for just $1.99.
Eat like a Carnivore.
Come to Jack in the Box where we don't make it until a Carnivore orders it.
Here man, try this shake. It's thick.
It's warm. Hey, that's a fake shake.
Hi, I'm Jack and this is my friend Larry the Crime Donkey.
Don't do fake shakes. Keep it real.
Demand real ice cream shakes like my frosty strawberry banana shake made with real fruit.
Take it from Larry the Crime Donkey. Don't be a sucker.
Say no to fake shakes.
I want the internet to work for me.
I want the world at my fingertips.
I just want you to try my new Sourdough Grilled Chicken Club.
I am part dreamer and part...
I wasn't done yet.
My new Sourdough Grilled Chicken Club is a grilled chicken breast stacked with fresh lettuce, tomato, cheese and mouth-watering bacon.
Break the mold. Change is in the wind.
Duh, I said it's a new kind of club.
Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now?
Jack? Yeah? Satan on line three.
Hello.
You're mine, box.
You wish.
I caught you in a lie. We don't make it till you order it. Please.
It's true. My burgers and sandwiches are served hot and fresh because we don't make it till you order it.
Honest.
Really? Sorry. My bad.
Do you ever need quadside seats? Let me know.
The Earl of Sandwich was the undisputed ruler of the sandwich world.
I give you peanut butter and banana.
Billooney. Club sandwich.
Why is there bread in the middle?
Silence!
Why is there bread in the middle? I'm gonna lose the middle bread, add a tender spicy chicken breast and call it Jack's Spicy Chicken Club.
Hey, the middle bread's missing.
Silence!
Hey!
One more.
That's it!
Cover him!
You and me.
That's a half ounce of carnivore whooping.
Hey, carnivores fans, come to Jack in the Box for your official carnivores antenna ball. They're free when you buy a sourdough jack combo.
Go carnivores!
Hey, boy-tona, LT, check it out. A dollar.
So what can you get for a buck these days? A phone call?
Your autograph?
Whoa, guys, wait. For just 99 cents, you can get great food. Like my two tacos for 99 cents. They're crispy and really delicious.
Salcal!
Bobby, 300 yards passing, you had the carnivores rolling tonight.
No question about it. We executed the way we know we can execute.
Jack was the bacon ultimate cheeseburger combo-o-factor.
No question about it. That's our pregame meal. Bacon ultimate cheeseburger, a drink, and my new tastier fries.
Plus, Jack jumbled size the drink and fries for free.
Fourth quarter, they're driving. The wild chimpanzees seem to disrupt their offense.
No question about it.
Get him up! Get him up, dude!
Chimps gave 110%.
Howdy. I just got back from Texas where I learned a thing or two.
Like Texans prefer their cheeseburgers with mustard and pickles. So just for Texans, I'm making my new 99-cent Big Texas cheeseburger with mustard instead of mayo, loaded with pickles and melting cheese.
And I, uh, figured out something else.
Oh.
Bulls do not like ropes tied around their...
Finally, someone to talk to.
You like chicken? You gotta try Jack's spicy chicken sandwich. Personally, I dig the spice. But there's also crisp lettuce and two slices of tomato.
Did I mention the real chicken breast? I think I did.
Hey, we better hurry.
For a limited time, it's only a buck 99. You wanna get one? We should get one.
Let's get one, you and me.
I don't have a dollar 99. There is no Jack in the box on the island. Can't you talk about something else?
How you doing with the chicken?
That's right, the 99 boys are back.
And we still rollin with Jack.
Tired of those other suckers hangin around?
Hoppin' up their weak little snacks?
No one can touch Jack's 99-cent fool.
With a gang of cheese on a grande patty,
Homie's new 99-cent Big cheeseburger is oh so thorough.
Free to the double-O-D good.
You better recognize.
Could I say that right?
Was that right?
Some say our country's in a funk.
Punks.
We're Americans.
We're hot-rodding, wave-shredding,
bronc-busting, meat-eating sons of guns,
and we're gonna keep rolling.
You a little short on dough?
I got your back.
I've beefed up my value menu
so you can fill up and get on with your guitar-wailing,
tree-hugging, chainsawing, spring-breaking,
allowance-earning, freedom-loving life.
Oh, and one more thing.
Keep smiling.
This is still the best dark country on Earth.
Big money on the wheel.
Where will it land?
Come on, Bob.
There's a hundred thousand.
There's a million.
Come on, Bob.
Will it stay?
Come on.
Oh, 99 cents.
Woo!
99 cents, baby!
What are you gonna do with the money?
I'm heading to Jack in the Box.
I'm getting a real ice cream shake for just 99 cents.
This is the best day of my life!
Oh, I hope they don't pay that out over 20 years.
Welcome to Cat Chat.
Today, we're having a tea party.
My date is Sebastian.
Isn't he handsome?
This is Princess Mocha.
She's a Pisces.
She's engaged to Grumpus von Puffybottom.
Okay, guys, this is how it's going down.
I'm introducing these new taquitos,
rolled, seasoned shredded beef topped with real cheddar cheese.
Try them, or I'm gonna run Cat Chat on every game this season.
English muffin, m'lady.
Why, thank you, sir.
See you at the drive-thru.
Yes, I like the dusty rose on you, too.
Oh, hello.
Welcome back to Cat Chat.
Today, we're having a spa day,
so let's all be extra quiet.
You thought I was bluffing?
Try my new delicious taquitos with seasoned shredded beef
and real cheddar cheese,
or you're in for a Cat Chat-a-thon.
Shh.
Ivanka is in her happy place.
Who's next for a mani-pedi?
How this kid made a big list, I don't know.
He's too small. He's not fast.
He can't hit. He chews gong all the time.
I tell manager, take the lefty.
He throws like the wind.
But the bosses, they want the little guy.
For me, it's crazy.
But I like my job. What are you gonna do?
Now batting for the Giants, antenna ball.
Get one free when you buy a sourdough jack combo.
Only a jack of the box.
He's tough to pitch to. I give him that.
I've been scouting for 30 years,
and I ain't never seen a kid like this.
No speed, no power, no honor.
And I mean no honor.
I told the skip he wasn't ready.
But the skipper said he's going to the show.
Now batting for the A's, antenna ball.
Get one free when you buy a sourdough jack combo.
Only a jack of the box.
He's probably got a shoe.
He's probably got a shoe contract already.
So she says we're like two trees,
and like my tree needs to grow more or something.
What is that?
It's my jack hat.
So they think I'm jack. It works.
I just ordered a combo meal,
and they gave me their awesome seasoned curly fries
instead of regular fries.
Because I'm jack.
Because of the hat.
Doofus, now all the combos come with curly fries.
They don't think you're jack.
And how come they gave me his paycheck?
I don't know.
And how come they gave me his paycheck?
Guess who I'm standing next to?
Howdy. Today we're going to patch up the foundation.
What you using there Bill? Spackle?
Nah, I prefer fake shake.
It's gummy and thick.
This is chocolate. It comes in other colors.
I notice you wear a mask.
Oh yeah, you don't want fake shake getting anywhere near your mouth.
Most places carry fake shake.
Yep, you're not jack in the box.
I made blueberries and cream shake. I made it with real ice cream.
That fake shake's setting up real nice.
Yeah, it repels termites too.
This show rules.
I'm making big changes to my burgers.
The jumbo patties are juicier,
the bacon's thicker.
Heck, I had to get bigger wrappers just to hold them.
I can't wait to see what real people think.
I'm Glenn Vauper. Chris Vauper.
Glenn Jr.
This is the home of the Vauper's? Yes it is.
Excellent. What do you think?
It's great. That's the best.
I'd buy this. Well there you have it.
My burgers rule.