Now, we all know the Our Father and the Hail Mary, but we can also pray in our own words.
So, if you need a little extra help, don't be afraid to send up a personal prayer,
because God always listens, and He always responds.
Now, who can give me an example of a personal prayer?
Please don't call on me. Please don't call on me.
Test Maloney.
Works.
Thanks.
Once I prayed for all the homeless people, and then they moved into my neighborhood,
and boy was my mom mad.
Now, Sister Felicia tells me you have a big spelling test tomorrow,
and I have to go jogging with my brother.
So, steady hard, and God be with you.
Let's hear it, Vermont Senior McFadden!
I just love his little visits.
Why, if I weren't married to God, well...
Isn't he wonderful? So beloved, and so...
You strive for his AIDS?
And it's so scary, confusing,
what I might be losing,
but I'm willing, and hoping for a surprise,
feeling so alive.
Between the promise and the price,
I'd like to be living,
feel the adrenaline,
the feeling is so good,
and I'm more than just a feeling,
between the promise and the promise is so good.
What he saw made him a witness.
You're right. You do need a lawyer.
Susan Sarandon, Tommy Lee Jones.
Trying to ruin this boy's life, but just flat out get him killed.
Scary.
The Client.
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Freeze!
Henry! Molly!
Let's get those freeze.
I'll bet it's a spray.
Maybe it's that powder.
Oh, the bath.
I hate baths.
Here, Henry.
What's this?
It's Program. The new easy way to beat fleas.
Included with your pet's food once a month.
And you'll beat fleas for good.
Program and free advice on beating fleas are at your local vet clinic now.
Hold that colour. It's new.
Hold that colour. It's different.
Hold that colour. It's a colour maintenance system.
Hold that colour. It works.
Hold that colour. Looks great.
Hold that colour. Hold that colour. Fresh along your darling, you must.
Hold that colour. New Hold That Colour from DeCore.
Makes coloured hair look better longer.
A shampoo and a conditioner.
And a very special colour treatment that will refresh and...
Hold that colour from De De DeCore.
I am counting down.
He's never been this dashing.
Dracula.
This dangerous.
This dead.
It's good to be dead.
From director Mel Brooks.
You're eating insects right from the ground.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Leslie Nielsen.
I'll come down and help.
Dracula.
Dead and loving it.
I fly.
You don't.
Yes, of course.
I had to quit that job.
It was heightening my sense of alienation.
I always felt like I was on the outside looking in.
Of course you did. You were a window washer.
Hi, Mom. Can you help me study for my spelling test?
Not now, honey. Ryan, I'm on your side.
Do you believe me?
Yes, I believe you.
God.
You don't quit a job when you need money.
Dear God, please don't let me flunk that spelling test tomorrow.
I know it's my worst subject, but hey, if anyone can do it, you can.
You know, people used to think Einstein was retarded.
At least he had a job.
And please give Brian a new job.
Look, this isn't fair.
The discussion is over.
And I have a meatloaf in the oven.
And please don't make me eat meatloaf.
I thought you said you welcomed feedback.
Feedback, yes.
Feedback is you're doing a fantastic job, Coach Lou.
Everything else is backtalk.
Hey, can I use your phone? Thank you.
Are you calling her?
Lou has another hot date with Beverly.
Woo!
This is not a hot date.
Beverly is a very special lady.
We're talking class here. You know what class is?
An immutable societal ranking acquired at birth that determines your socioeconomic status for the rest of your life.
Thanks, Rain Man.
Wait a minute, Lou.
Are you actually trying to tell us that you are involved with a woman in a human way?
Hey, it caught me totally off guard.
I thought I was beyond this kind of stuff.
It's crazy.
I find myself thinking of her at the oddest times when I'm standing in line at the bank, when I'm combing my hair, when we're making love.
It's weird.
I'm impressed.
Wait till you hear this, babe.
Hello?
Hi, hon. It's me.
Do you have me on that speakerphone again?
Which one of your friends are you trying to impress now?
I'm not with my friends. I'm with the Dolans.
They don't believe I could land somebody as classy and as smart as you.
Well, I'm not that classy.
See? She's modest, too.
Lou, Lou, take me off the speakerphone, please.
Okay. You're off the speakerphone.
Lou, listen, this is really hard, but I've decided to go back with Dirk.
What?
Lou, I just don't love you.
Honey, you're still on the speaker.
No, and I don't think I ever will, you know?
How do I get her off this thing?
So don't fax me any more photos with you lying naked on a rug at any age.
I mean, I'm sorry to tell you this after you said you love me, but it's over.
Listen, where do you leave the hello?
What?
I'm sorry, Coach Lou.
Sorry for what?
Sorry that Beverly...that you got, you know...
What?
Dumb.
Is that what you think?
Lou, it's nothing to be ashamed of.
You know, we've all been rejected at one time or another.
Look, do me a favor. Leave me out of your wee.
They all come crawling back.
You people always move as a group?
Yellow.
Well, well, what a surprise.
It's somebody called Aunt Sue.
She wants to know if Mary, Margaret, and Angela can go to Chuck E. Cheese's with their cousins.
Instead of meatloaf?
You're a good God.
They're on their way.
Now, I gotta hang up now.
Yeah, Diane loves you too. Yeah, yaddy, yaddy, yaddy, yaddy, yaddy.
Ah.
Well, don't mind me. Just go on with your family stuff.
Mom.
Mommy, he's in pain. Ask him to stay for dinner.
Honey, you know the rules. We don't feed any strays unless they're fixed.
Mom, did you ever think that maybe we're the closest thing to family he's got?
Did you ever think that maybe there's a reason for that?
Well, he's in there drinking. We can't let him drive.
We could get sued.
Lou, would you like to stay for dinner?
Hey, I don't need your pity. I understand.
I don't need your dinner. I don't need anything or anybody.
I'm just gonna finish my drink, and then I get out of here.
This is too weird.
He's my tennis coach. I shouldn't be seeing him asleep. It's too personal.
I thought you wanted him to be like part of the family.
I was wrong.
Yeah, all right. All right, I'll see you next week.
I got the job.
Oh, thank you, God.
What job?
At Leisure Hills Retirement Community.
I'm gonna be the security guy at the front gate who directs the ambulances.
I thought that job fell through weeks ago.
So did I. But apparently the guy they hired got picked up for parole violation.
I was her second choice.
I'm so proud of you, honey.
Oh, God did that.
Of course he did, honey.
No, I mean, first I prayed for no meatloaf, and then I prayed for Brian to get a new job.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
My prayer did both those things. I mean, he did it, but I asked him to, and he answered.
I'm so glad I'm Catholic.
Mary Margaret, I have some time now if you still want to help study for that spelling test.
Nah, I've got it covered.
God, I'm counting on you. Please, whatever you do, please, please don't let me film that spelling test, please.
Class, put away your books. There will be no spelling test today.
Yes!
There will be no spelling test because Monsignor McFadden is dead.
I killed a priest.
Let us pray.
And the flavour is...
Mango!
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If the DNA in this blood matches, we've got it. The chief wants the results first thing.
All right, here with me.
Canteen's closing.
All right.
That evidence of what's just here?
Have I moved it?
Most liquids have no enzymes. Some have one. But dry power liquid has two to shift the tupper stones.
It just kind of vanished.
Not a trace.
Not a speck, not a hint, not a single drop of blood.
No.
Dried double action enzymes. Dried out stains.
But Cullog's NutriGrain National Surf League is back.
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With everyone concerned about healthy eating these days, it's good to know just how much fat is in your diet.
And if you look down the scale of foods, each with their percentage of fat, you might be surprised how low in fat some things really are.
Like milk, which is less than 4% fat. That's right. Less than 4%.
Milk. Low in fat and a great healthy taste.
Susan Sarandon, Tommy Lee Jones, The Client. Premier Sunday on 9.
I'm fine doing this for you. Come on, Seth.
You are a very generous stipper.
But don't you think it's time you got up and moved around a little bit?
What's the point?
Well, you know, I used to work in this nursing home.
And if you don't at least turn yourself soon, we're talking bed sores.
What do you want me to do?
If it were me, then I would pick up that phone and win her back.
Really?
Okay. But I'm not you. I won't grovel. I want to be in control.
I gotta suck it up here.
This won't work unless I sound confident.
I gotta really take charge here.
This phone call has got to be perfect.
Hi! Hello!
So are you guys back together?
Sabu, get me some of those astronaut fruit things, will ya?
Hello.
I'm all friends here.
Brian told me what happened.
Oh, jeez.
You're hurt and you're angry. You feel like you blew it.
You're worried that your looks are starting to fade, that you'll never find another guy.
Thanks! Tano here tells me I'm gonna have bed sores. Maybe you'd like to rub salt in them.
Oh, Lou. You're not mad at me. You're mad at yourself.
I am not.
Lou.
What?
You get her out of here.
Come on, honey. I've experienced a little windfall lately and we're going to the movies.
And this time you don't have to let me in the fire door or anything.
Duh.
Exciting and neat.
Wait. Are you ready? Can we just stop talking about it?
You know, as old as Monsignor McFadden was, it's hard to believe that he's dead.
He always seemed so spry.
Just shut up!
What did I say?
Quit looking at me!
Mary Margaret, what's wrong?
Maybe she just wants you to shut up and quit looking at her.
Thank you!
Are you okay?
I'm a little off my game today. You're going to have to practice on your own.
Well, what would you say if I talked like that?
What are you going to give me? A pep talk?
Yes. Off your game? That's loser talk. And loser talk is for losers.
So why don't you just get off that couch.
Yeah, just get off that couch and get dressed and go get them, tiger.
You call that a pep talk?
If I was a man out on a ledge, I'd now be a speck on the pavement.
Look, I don't like to see you this way. It's weird. It's frightening.
What bothers you? The glazed eyes? The breakfast in the hair?
Underneath all of this, it's still me.
But you're gross.
You're right. You're right. You're looking at a guy who has hit the bottom.
But I'm bouncing back up because I am Lou De La Rosa, the greatest damn tennis coach that ever lived.
Now I want you to get up and I want you to get out there on that tennis court and give me an hour with the ball machine now.
Yes, sir.
Go get him.
Man, that took it out of me.
Welcome. I'm Dr. David Viscotte and tonight we're talking about the language of feelings.
Feel this.
I smell popcorn. Can I have some?
Did your mother let you eat popcorn in the middle of the night?
No.
Dig in.
Glad you warmed your way into staying another night.
Thanks, kid.
Coach De La Rosa, you're a wise man.
Yeah.
What if you did something that was going to be good for you but it turned out bad for somebody else?
How bad?
Real bad.
And could you have prevented this bad thing from happening to them by not having done whatever you did that was good for you?
What?
The thing you were talking about.
The good thing or the bad thing?
I have no idea.
Never mind.
Look, if what you did was really bad, good intentions don't mean Jack.
It's by Jack, Jimmy.
The best thing to do is just go find your little friend and tell him you're sorry.
It's going to be pretty hard.
Believe me, you'll feel a lot better if you get it off your chest.
My confession?
Whatever floats your boat, kid.
Thanks, Luke.
Hello.
When someone hurts you, it's pretty hard to ignore because hurt hurts.
Mr. French, I got a taste for party mix.
Then party mix it shall be, sir.
Ooh, Dr. David Viscot.
Yeah.
He's helped me many times.
You should call him.
Yeah, be put on hold for an hour?
I don't do holds, kid.
Let me handle this.
It's easy to get through to these guys.
You just got to know how to talk to them.
Hello, this is Brian from Agora, and I'm going to kill myself.
I have Brian from Agora on the line and Brian's suicidal.
Brian, are you there?
Brian?
Yes, yes, yes, doctor.
I have this problem.
It's with a younger woman.
Look, I've heard enough.
You're old.
You think you've lost it.
You've given up.
She's gone back to her old boyfriend.
Now look, do yourself a favor.
Get up off that couch and get on with it.
I'm Dr. David Viscot, and we'll be back right after these important messages.
This guy's a freaking genius.
To go away, there's another hilarious episode of Me and the Boys next with special guests,
the Four Tops.
That's followed by Walker, Texas Ranger.
Hi, guys.
Hi, sir.
Hi.
Now, what would you like?
Good friends.
Be able to balance my caring side with my fulfilling career.
A loving partner, beautiful home, a holiday on the Caribbean, bright red sports car, a
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You can trust Carefree's body-contoured tampon to give you the confidence to do whatever
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And to sail down the nylon sunset with my perfect man.
And you...
Make that three, thanks.
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For thousands of South Australians, many simple things in life aren't as easy as they seem.
Would you read a newspaper if it looked like this?
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Terrell Summers hosts Red Faces, number 7, 7.30, Monday online.
I killed Monsignor McFadden.
That'll be three Hail Marys and then...
Would you repeat that?
Well, I didn't mean to kill him, it was just an accident.
See, the Monsignor McFadden said if you pray, God always responds.
So I prayed something would happen that I wouldn't fail my spelling test.
And the Monsignor died.
Aren't you supposed to be in there?
Why don't you come with me?
Oh no, are you taking me straight to hell?
Mary Margaret, no, no, come here.
Your prayer did not kill Monsignor McFadden.
A half a pound of bacon every morning killed Monsignor McFadden.
So look, let's sit down and we'll discuss the subtleties of prayer, okay?
Another pray, Pepe.
Brian, what are you doing?
You're spending more money than at any job I've ever had in my entire life.
I'm sorry, I can't offer you any, Mom.
Brian, I'd like to talk to Lou alone.
This would be your tater tot, sir, and I thank you.
Lou, this can't go on anymore.
I know you're trying to make believe that you can't hear me,
but it's good for you or us.
I've tried to be understanding.
I've given you your space, but now I want my space back.
I want this space.
You have to leave.
I can't leave, my soap is coming on.
You've got to snap out of this.
You know, I'm trying to be your friend.
Do you want me to be your friend?
I don't know.
Hey.
Put your feet on the floor.
What?
Put both feet on the floor.
Why?
Come on, keep them there.
Come on, up, up, up.
One foot in front of the other.
Why?
March, march, march, right out the door.
You want me to clear out?
Yes.
Why didn't you say so?
I got no reason to be here anyway.
I know why you're staying here.
You like it here.
You want a family of your own.
I don't want a family.
Why?
Oh, come on.
It's just the two of us.
You can say it.
You've got these great kids taking care of you,
and it's better than going back to that lonely beach house
waiting until some young girl sachets by.
Sounds good to me.
Oh, come on, Lou.
Why won't you admit the good thing that came out of this breakup?
I discovered yodels.
You felt something.
Admit it.
You felt something for Beverly.
Don't say her name.
And you liked it, and it was real, and you want it again,
and part of getting it again is realizing
that you want to get it again.
Admit it.
Just admit it.
I'll forget you said it.
You can forget you said it.
Just say it.
You're right.
I do want to share my life with someone.
That's a good step.
Someone with a body just like Beverly's.
Hey, I appreciate everything you've done.
You've done a terrific job.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, it's on the house.
I don't charge for being a human being.
Well, you should.
If I ever become one, I'm going to charge.
I'll be in the shower if you need me.
Trailer for sailor rent.
Room select for dissent.
No phone, no pool, no beds.
Hi, Mom.
Where's Coach Lou?
I sent him to the showers.
Lou's not leaving?
Oh, yes.
What am I supposed to do about tonight's Loo?
I got a pig on a spit in the back of your arm.
Yo, Jeeves, press the chinos, dude.
God, I'm going to miss him.
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Celebrating a spectacular 25 years, Hey Hey It's Saturday,
the best variety show on Australian television gets ready for another blockbuster year,
returning soon on 9.
Oh, hi, Stephen.