Are you practicing?
Practice and I'll take you to Chuck E. Cheese's.
The non-stop fun of Chuck E. Cheese's. What did you do to deserve it?
It's got talent.
Yo!
Catch this!
Wow!
Now at Allstate Arena and coming to United Center, great seats are still available.
Oh, hi Jenny.
Hey, Jenny.
Officer Jenny?
Me?
Officer Jenny.
Hey, you look familiar.
Have we met?
I love that outfit you're wearing.
Oh, this old thing?
Now before we finish, are there any other suggestions?
Yes, I suggest we arrest Ash and take his Pikachu.
Arrest those imposters!
It's Officer Jenny's only.
Pokemon, weekday mornings at 7 on Show 26 The U.
Greetings from Hysteria headquarters at Kids WB.
We're here with Viking warrior Hawken the Great.
Glad to be here, Bill.
Hawken is one of the many illustrious historical figures here on Hysteria.
That's right.
I understand you used to sack and pill it.
Correct.
Now what do you do for fun?
I like to frighten television announcers.
Hmm, Hysteria.
More fun than a whole bunch of motor vikings.
Weekday mornings on Channel 26 The U.
I'm not finished with you yet.
Operator, I'd like to make a collect call please.
First name Bob.
Last name is We Otta Baby Eats A Boy.
Hello?
Collect call for Mr. Bob We Otta Baby Eats A Boy.
Sorry, wrong number.
Who's that to?
Bob, they had a baby.
It's a boy.
Oh.
Don't cheat the phone company.
Save money the legal way.
Call GEICO.
A 15 minute call could save you 15% or more on car insurance.
I'd like to give you this world famous rascal scooter free.
And there's no purchase necessary.
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So if you or anyone you know has trouble getting around,
Electric Mobility would like to give you a rascal scooter free.
Call for this free color catalog and enter the rascal mobility sweepstakes.
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Call now 1-800-303-6633 for your chance to win a free rascal.
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That's 1-800-303-6633.
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How much of every day is spent in your car?
Probably more than you realize.
That's why the all new Hyundai Elantra is filled with an abundance of luxurious standard features.
With such pleasant surroundings, Elantra takes you away from it all even before you turn on the key.
It's backed by the Hyundai Advantage, America's best warranty.
And if that isn't enough, the Elantra was voted Best Buy by Consumer Digest.
Come see and drive the Elantra at Valley Hyundai on Boulder Highway in Henderson.
The prosecutors, headline cases, major crimes.
He murdered people in cold blood.
Broad daylight.
From capture to conviction.
To make sure that the system worked.
An inside look at real life law and order.
Justice served.
The Prosecutors, Mondays at 10 Eastern and Pacific on the Discovery Channel.
Come to West Sahara between Decatur and Jones to the Tobin Jeep Superstore and say,
give me that Jeep, gotta have it.
The fashion, the style, and all that hair.
See the 7th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards, Sunday night at 8 on TNT.
At Save-A-Lot Food Stores, you save up to 40% every day.
I would save at least $50.
That's very far.
$60 a week.
Oh, I save a lot of money.
Save on banquet crispy chicken.
Original or skinless at $1.99 each.
Crisp orange juice at $1.99 a gallon.
And portside chunk-like tuna in water.
Free cans for 99 cents.
The quality is higher and the prices are lower.
I just wish we started shopping here a long time ago.
Save-A-Lot Food Stores. Great food, great prices.
Do I have to suffer through another nasal allergy season?
Do I have to put up with the sneezing and runny nose?
No, no, no, no, no.
And what about the congestion?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Here's Rhinochord Aqua Nasal Spray.
Rhinochord Aqua relieves sneezing, congestion, and runny nose with one dose daily.
Plus, it has no alcohol and no fragrance.
So I get the allergy relief I need.
Without the things I don't.
Rhinochord Aqua is non-habit forming.
For best results, use it daily.
Maximum relief generally takes two weeks to achieve.
Overall, side effects are similar to a non-medicated spray
and can include nosebleed, nasal and throat irritation, and cough.
For product information, call this toll-free number.
For nasal allergy relief, ask your doctor if Rhinochord Aqua is right for you.
And ask about a free trial so you can start taking no for an answer.
Try this. Call up your auto insurance company and ask them to give you a quote.
And then ask them to give you the prices of their three major competitors also.
See what they say.
Progressive wants you to know that six-month rates can really vary from company to company.
On average, you could be paying $522 more than you have to.
If you're not shopping around, you could be losing a lot of money.
Call Progressive at 1-800-AUTO-PRO or visit us online at progressive.com.
We'll give you our price and if you'd like the rates from up to three other leading companies.
Even if their prices are lower than ours.
I didn't believe it either, but it's true.
I can go online 24 hours a day and compare rates.
We have these things called ERS, immediate response vehicles.
It's like a mini claims office right there in the car.
So call us right now at 1-800-AUTO-PRO.
If we can't save you money on auto insurance, we'll tell you who can.
Shop and buy online or call 1-800-AUTO-PRO.
I remember it like it was yesterday.
I was hosting my first big business dinner and I paid with my Visa card.
Turns out I was over my limit.
I was so embarrassed, I didn't know what to do.
So I got the American Express card and it never happened again.
Call 1-800-THE-CARD.
We can take your application right over the phone.
Applying for the card was one of the easiest things I've ever done and smartest.
And anyone who's ever gone anywhere knows it.
I have a place to cash checks, get my mail, and get help when I need it.
My dad said the minute you get a job, get an American Express card.
He said, trust me on this one, I've gone everywhere with it.
And here's a tip, sign up for membership rewards and everything you charge on the card will earn you program points.
So you can keep on traveling.
So call now for the American Express card.
You can apply right over the phone.
It helps not having a preset limit.
It's great getting points every time you use the card.
I can call 24 hours a day. That helps.
No matter what you do or where you go, the American Express card can help you do more.
Fuchsia, tangerine, lemony lime.
It's a celebration of color at Sears Spring Sale.
The entire Apostrophe collection is now 30% off.
And all women's shoes on sale.
Magenta, lilac, red, red rose.
Wake up your wardrobe with a splash of color.
The Apostrophe collection now 30% off, only at Sears.
The good life at a great price, guaranteed.
Starkist needs to do what's never been done in the history of tuna.
Something fresher tasting, really easy.
Fresher.
Easier.
I've got it.
Fresher tasting Starkist tuna in a new easy to use pouch.
Introducing the new Starkist flavor fresh pouch.
It's better because it's more convenient.
Just tear and use, no draining, no hassle.
And it's vacuum sealed so it tastes better.
Fresher.
The new Starkist flavor fresh pouch.
Our best ever.
Wednesday.
Just try and guess how many times B-Man's been starved.
This cow has six legs.
And tennis will never be the same.
Hosted by Dean Cain.
Ripley's Believe It or Not.
Wednesday at 8 Eastern on TVS Superstation.
Your talent's going to waste.
Visit the job channel on AccessLasVegas.com.
Powered by HeadHunter.net.
Find a job that makes the most of your talents.
Or stay right where you are.
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Hungry for good television?
The Superstation serves up television that's good enough to eat.
Take one popular movie. Add some spicy hosts.
Sensors have got their hands full tonight.
Throw in some theme-inspired dishes.
And mix it all together for a high helping of satisfying entertainment.
Dinner and a movie. Friday nights. Only on the Superstation. Cheers.
Brought to you by Chevrolet.
The car's millions of people depend on every day.
Chevy will be there.
Sunday night. An event so big even the stars can't wait.
Because the tears are real.
And everything is straight from the heart.
Thank you so very, very much.
This is such an honor.
Thanks for making me lucky to be here.
The seventh annual Screen Actors Guild Awards.
Where the biggest stars of TV and film celebrate their favorite stars.
This is so great.
Thank you very much.
See it Sunday night at 8 on TNT.
Brought to you by American Film.
And TNT. Brought to you by America Online and fellow windows and doors.
How do you make more money?
Simple. You get a better job.
How do you get a better job?
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At Harcourt Learning Direct, more than 11 million men and women have trained for job promotions and new careers.
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High school. Home inspector.
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PC repair.
Private investigator.
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Medical insurance clerk.
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Or get your specialized associate degree from the Center for Degree Studies.
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Compare your present salary with the money you could be making in any one of these careers.
They'll be repeated for you at the end of this commercial.
It's easy.
Just get a pencil and write down the course you're most interested in.
Then call the Harcourt toll free number and we'll send you one of these exciting career packs absolutely free.
Your career pack explains how easy it is to study at home.
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They make it easy and fun to train for that better career.
So secure the future you want with career training from Harcourt.
Here are those courses again.
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There's absolutely no obligation.
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That's 1-800-961-5415 for free career information.
Call now 1-800-961-5415.
At some drugstores, they seem to think people only get sick between 9 and 5.
At Savon, we know better.
When most everybody else is closed,
there's a Savon pharmacy near you that's open all day, all night, all year.
At Savon, you can count on people who care.
I would describe myself as a pretty wonderful guy, family man, a man who loves women,
especially a man who loves women.
I would describe myself as a guy who can relate to anybody.
I don't think there's anything to be scared of when you sit down and interview with me
because you know when you interview with me, you're getting the provocative questions,
the questions people care about.
I'll tell you something, people describe me a lot of different ways.
My mother thinks I'm a very nice guy.
The cost of buying new and used cars and trucks has gone down way down.
It's price crash 2001 at the Tobin Nissan Superstore in the Valley Auto Mall, Henderson.
Hey, what do you think? Boxers or briefs?
Oh, boxers.
Oh.
Briefs.
Bikinis.
Boxers.
No, I'm looking at this guy.
They're Hanes.
Let's just leave it at that.
Oh, gosh, Michael.
I can't stand them.
Did you see?
This is the story of a boy who just didn't get math.
I mean, he wasn't stupid or anything.
There was like a wall there.
At Sylvan Learning Center, we solve academic problems by precisely identifying the cause.
That's why we start with the Sylvan skills assessment before we design a personalized program.
Once there was a girl who had trouble reading.
She used to pretend to be invisible.
That way the teacher would never call on her.
Call Sylvan today and find out how our skills assessment can give a comprehensive profile of your child's strengths and weaknesses.
We'll identify skill gaps, then create a program to help your child fill in those gaps.
Because our assessment so clearly uncovers your child's learning issues, we guarantee results.
Her story has a happy ending.
I like happy endings.
If your child is struggling in school, call Sylvan at 1-888-46-Educate to schedule an assessment.
Success is learned.
Hey, I don't have the extra $500 cash to pay for this.
Rapid cash advance on your paycheck?
It's time for rapid cash.
Wow, thanks rapid cash.
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We'll give you cash on the spot.
We also offer car title loans.
Come in today and receive your first car title or payday loan free.
Call 222-2274 for the location nearest you.
Introducing VitaFree.com's $10 million diet giveaway.
If you want to lose weight but don't want to pay $50 a bottle for Metabolife 356 or SlimRx,
this limited time offer is for you.
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This is a limited introductory free offer so you must act fast.
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Well, those days are over.
This is my Perfect Omelette, the fast, easy way to make delicious omelettes
without any added fat for picture perfect results every time.
Perfect Omelette makes restaurant style omelettes light and fluffy right from your microwave.
Look, this ham and cheese omelette is a mile high and cooked to perfection,
and it's simple to use.
Just pour in the eggs, add your favorite filling, and voila, you've got a perfectly folded omelette.
Make a two egg omelette with cheese for the kids or a giant four egg omelette with bacon and sausage for the man of the house.
In fact, you can make any omelette with any filling in less than three minutes,
like this western omelette done in just two and a half minutes.
In less time than it takes you to get out of the pan and grease it,
you can have a perfect omelette, fast, flavorful, with no added fat.
And clean up some breeze, just run it under the faucet or put it in the dishwasher.
You can use it at home, in the RV, camper, or at work.
And it's not just for omelettes, make breakfast burritos, bacon, egg and cheese sandwiches, eggs benedict, even brownies.
Call now and you get the perfect omelette, plus my fast and flavorful recipe guide for just $19.95.
But if you call in the next 10 minutes, I'm going to give you a second perfect omelette for free.
But it gets even better because I'm also going to give you the amazing perfect chopper for free.
Finely chopped onions with no tears and instantly diced peppers for our fabulous vegetarian omelette.
This egg beater attachment whips and beats eggs quickly for their fluffiest tomato and basil omelette.
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We give our reporters time to tell stories on most newscasts in this town.
The reporters are given one minute and 30 seconds and that's a luxury, a minute 30.
We give our reporters time to tell their stories and then we bring on newsmakers to talk more about those stories.
So viewers are getting a real in-depth look at the stories of the day.
News 1 at 9, on Las Vegas 1, Cox Cable channels 1 and 39.
You owe back taxes. Don't let the IRS scare you.
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What is it? Is everyone in the world a teenager?
Shows with grown-ups in them.
Look at me, I'm 30!
Reason number 43 that people turn to TV land for TV satisfaction.
The heat that was your hair's enemy is now its best friend, Thermosilk.
Life is full of hassles. Having dental herpes is one of mine.
I used to take Zovarax five times a day. That was a real hassle.
Then my doctor told me about Valtrex just twice a day.
Valtrex for genital herpes outbreaks. FDA approved for just twice a day.
Valtrex is made by the same company as Zovarax and is the same kind of medicine.
But each dose of Valtrex puts more medicine into your bloodstream so it lasts longer and you don't have to take it as often.
Common side effects for Zovarax and Valtrex are headache and nausea.
There were so many times when I forgot to take my pills. Twice a day is so much easier.
Remember, there is no cure for herpes and even with treatment it may be possible to spread herpes to others.
To avoid a potentially serious complication, tell your doctor if your immune system is not normal because of advanced HIV disease, bone marrow or kidney transplant.
Call for a free trial coupon and ask your doctor about Valtrex.
Valtrex just twice a day. I can handle that.
Introducing wizard scented oil. It brings a new freshness to your home.
You can control the fragrance level to create a long lasting magical atmosphere.
New scented oil from wizard. Fragrances that change your world.
Are you nuts?
Don't you get it? I'm gonna smell like fresh wild flowers.
Sorry boys, only Clorox gives you the light clean scent of fresh wild flowers with the whitening power of Clorox bleach.
Nice try.
Fresh wild flowers Clorox bleach.
Credit card statements, CD, money market.
Those banks. They mail us with high credit card rates and pay us nothing on our CDs. There's no escape.
Don't worry, I switched everything to Capital One.
To the neighbor!
Capital One offers some of the best rates in the nation on CDs, money market accounts and platinum cards.
What's in your wallet?
Hello America, how are you?
You know when I eat good, I feel good.
Healthy choice helps you feel good.
We're both feeling good.
You see, eating right makes a difference and healthy choice bowls are the new way to do that.
With 12 bold flavors like spicy Thai peanut chicken, beef and broccoli with ginger accents and fire roasted red pepper chicken.
Delicious and nutritious, they help you feel good.
I think he's doing great. I feel really good.
Healthy choice, feel good food.
Meet our new best friends. Come on.
Rugrats!
Introducing Centrum Kids in new Rugrats shapes.
I love that they're more complete. They love the taste.
And that they're Rugrats!
Centrum Kids Rugrats. There's more in it for kids.
You're getting two. Two episodes in a row of your favorite shows.
Sex!
Twice as nice. Only on TV Land.
Twizzlers, play first, eat later.
Oh, baby, the new baby Blue's Clues collection.
And they call it popular, popular
Oh, baby, the new baby Blue's Clues collection.
And they call it popular, popular
Everything a baby needs, the baby Blue's Clues collection.
In stores now, baby.
I cannot live another day without air conditioning.
Tomorrow's going to be hotter. Like yesterday.
Yesterday you said you'd call Sears.
I'll call today.
You call now.
I'll call now.
Now's the time to save on Sears installed central air conditioning.
Get 0% financing for one year.
That means no billing, no payments, and no interest for 12 months.
Call for a free in-home estimate.
Sears offers a choice of energy efficient Kenmore and Trane systems
that could save up to 40% on your annual cooling costs.
In time, even pay for itself.
Sears also offers fast emergency installation
with all work done by a Trane Sears cooling specialist
and satisfaction guaranteed.
Get 0% financing, no billing, no payments for one year.
Offer ends March 31st, so call and save with Sears.
So what's the paper say about tomorrow?
Well, this is gorgeous.
Cool.
Sears, a good life at a great price, guaranteed.
You're enjoying a two-for-one special
because you're watching Twice is Nice on TV Land.
Would you like to lower your monthly mortgage payments
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Who can tell me what builds strong bones?
Anybody know that one?
Milk, milk.
What goes with pie?
Milk, milk.
What goes with beans?
I'm in there. I don't want to hit.
Should've had your man.
Get out.
N.
M.
Q.
Q? Close.
What about a K?
What about an X?
X, X, seriously.
I don't have a root beer.
You can have the milk.
Stay with me.
Osteo.
I want more cheese.
Want strong bones?
Calcium may help prevent osteoporosis.
Bingo.
Smile, you've got French's.
Smile, you've got fun.
Nothing spreads more smiles than French's classic yellow, hearty deli, homestyle Dijon
and our latest honey mustard.
Smile, you've got French's.
If you like a show and know it, that's being a fan.
All the best episodes all weekend long, that's Fandomonium.
TV Land's Fandomonium Marathon Weekends, always one thing on.
For TV satisfaction, now you know.
What's cooking, fellas?
Oh, hey, Ernie.
I'm just putting big chips in my Chips Deluxe Cookies.
Oh, that's nothing.
I'm putting big chips and milk chocolate chunks in my Chocolate Lover's Chips Deluxe.
Yeah, well, I'm adding walnut pieces to mine.
Peanut butter cups.
Put that in your cookie and crumble it.
Wow.
Chips Deluxe Chocolate Chip Cookies in seven deluxe varieties.
Walnuts.
Open up.
Sometimes too many cooks is a good thing.
TV satisfaction, guaranteed.
Life is what you make it, and it feels better making the right choices, like choosing the right plastic surgeon.
This symbol is what to look for, the American Society of Plastic Surgeons.
All members are board certified in plastic surgery, so they're uniquely qualified to perform cosmetic and reconstructive surgery on the face and all areas of the body.
You can't make a better choice.
To change it, because you want to, uh-oh, make it shine, yeah.
Make a difference, cause you can, because it's time.
Change a little something, or everything.
Yeah, anything, change your mind.
To change it, make a difference, yeah, you're ready, because it's time.
Ask how, ask now.
Ask Sherwin-Williams.
Save 20% and more on all your project needs, right now at your Sherwin-Williams store.
Hey, what do you think, boxers or briefs?
Oh, boxers.
Oh.
Briefs.
Bikinis.
Boxers.
No, I'm looking at this guy.
They're Hanes.
Let's just leave it there.
That was Michael.
I can't stand that.
Oh, did you see?
Yeah.
Looking for just the right home?
Start with AccessLasVegas.com.
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Cox Communications presents A Welcome Home.
There are over 100 children in our community waiting to be adopted.
Each has a story of their own.
I like to play hide-and-seek.
I like bubbles and stuff.
I like girls' basketball.
I want to be a nurse in the shed.
Please help to find out more about a welcome home called 486-6178.
Mayberry has everything you'd want in a small town.
Friendly folks, fresh baked pies, and a first-rate fishing hole.
But this sleepy little town has a secret too.
And horror has a new name.
Jimmy, the dynamite-eating goat bent on destruction.
A goat full of dynamite?
What are we going to do?
Run! Run for your lives!
And tune in to The Andy Griffith Show, weeknights at 10, only on TV.
Hi, I'm Mick Hastie.
Now, have you ever tried to flip an omelette?
It's flipping impossible.
And what about all that butter and fat that it takes just to cook it?
Well, those days are over.
This is my perfect omelette.
A fast, easy way to make delicious omelettes
without any added fat for picture-perfect results every time.
Perfect omelette makes restaurant-style omelettes
light and fluffy right from your microwave.
Look, this ham and cheese omelette is a mile high and cooked to perfection.
And it's simple to use.
Just pour in the eggs, add your favourite filling, and voila!
You've got a perfectly folded omelette.
Make a two-egg omelette with cheese for the kids or a giant four-egg omelette
with bacon and sausage for the man of the house.
In fact, you can make any omelette with any filling in less than three minutes,
like this Western omelette, done in just two and a half minutes.
In less time than it takes you to get out of the pan and grease it,
you can have a perfect omelette, fast, flavourful, with no added fat.
And clean up the breeze.
Just run it under the faucet or put it in the dishwasher.
You can use it at home, in the RV, camper, or at work.
And it's not just for omelettes.
You can make breakfast burritos, bacon, egg and cheese sandwiches, eggs benedict,
even brownies.
Call now and you get the perfect omelette,
plus my fast and flavourful recipe guide for just £19.95.
But if you call in the next ten minutes,
I'm going to give you a second perfect omelette for free.
But it gets even better,
because I'm also going to give you the amazing perfect chopper for free.
Finely chop onions with no tears and instantly diced peppers
for a fabulous vegetarian omelette.
This egg beater attachment whips and beats eggs quickly
for the fluffiest tomato and basil omelette.
Plus, this clever egg separator makes healthy egg white omelettes just as easy.
It's the perfect partner to the perfect omelette and it's yours free.
This incredible $70 value is all yours for just £19.95.
So call now.
Call in the next ten minutes to get a second perfect omelette and the chopper free.
That's the $70 value for just £19.95.
This amazing offer won't last.
Call 1-800-720-9-119.
Wednesday on the Superstation.
This is the point of no return.
Enter the bizarre world of Ripley's Believe It or Not.
It was blown away.
This is something you might only see once in their life.
This has got to be the most fantastic.
Hosted by Dean Cain.
Ripley's Believe It or Not at 9 Mountain, 8 Pacific.
The fastest thrill coaster on the Strip is at the Sahara Hotel and Casino.
It's speed, the ride.
Walt Disney Pictures presents...
the exciting action-adventure smash...
Disney's Tarzan on in-demand rated G.
And don't forget to pick up your animation, celebration,
watch, match and win game piece at KB Toys.
A swinging good time for everyone at home on in-demand.
Who wants to spend an entire night just looking for something to watch?
You can stop looking and start watching.
This could be the beginning of a very meaningful relationship.
Reason number 7 that people turn to TV land for TV satisfaction.
Is your dandruff sending the wrong signals?
It's Celcin Power.
Doctors recommend Celcin Blue.
So don't send the wrong signals.
Get Celcin Power.
Introducing the most powerful Duracell Ultra ever.
With new M3 technology, it's the most powerful alkaline battery in the world.
Hold in a dozen directions.
Mom, don't forget practice is at 5.
Oh, did you get the car out of the shop today?
Mom, I've got to study for my math test.
I have to find a sitter for the weekend.
So what's for dinner?
Pull it all together with Manwich.
You're getting two.
Two episodes in a row of your favorite shows.
Set twice as nice.
Only on TV land.
Honey, everybody's kicking the bucket.
Because now there's new PineSol spray and mop.
With the power of PineSol, just spray and mop for your whole floor.
New PineSol spray and mop floor cleaner.
Feminine itching, painful irritation.
Now there's Vagisil Cream with skin soothing vitamins E, A, and D.
Vagisil stops itching fast and the relief lasts.
A better understanding of better intimate care.
Next, hang out with Cory and friends in Boy Meets World.
Then stay tuned for Smart Guy here on Disney.
That's not all.
Boy Meets World will be right back.
Every team has a story.
This team has 11.
I've had a 10 forever since I was a little girl.
When the game heats up, Michelle refuses to back down.
I just sit there and pick a chart.
Totally hoops.
At 8.30, 7.30 Central, part of Zoog Weekends.
It walks among you undetected.
What was that?
It knows where you live.
It's him.
And worst of all, it...
Still, what's the bed?
Lizzie.
On the new Disney Channel original series Lizzie McGuire,
actor Jake Thomas as Matt McGuire stands up for little brothers everywhere.
And he screams.
It's free or break.
Freeze, mister.
What?
I didn't do it.
Reflex.
In front of the camera and behind the scenes,
he's single-handedly responsible for elevating the level of professionalism.
And you think I'm the one with the problems?
Lizzie McGuire, get inside her head and watch Matt get on her nerves.
Fridays at 6, 5 Central, part of Zoog Weekends.
My favorite subject is probably English because I love writing.
My favorite subject would have to be Spanish.
I love Spanish.
Gym is my favorite subject in school.
Hola, como estas?
That means hello, how are you?
My favorite subject in school is girls.
I study them very closely.
My favorite subject is English.
English is good in school.
I like English a lot.
Right now I'm learning economics and it's very interesting.
My least favorite subject would have to be world history.
I hate math.
Math is just a pain.
I just don't like math.
My least favorite subject is science.
My least favorite subject is health, man,
because they just beat you over the head with the things you already know.
Smoking is bad.
You know this.
You don't need to do two months about how smoking is bad.
I understand, you know.
Kids like you express themselves every day on Disney Channel.
On the next In A Heartbeat...
We're going to make a powerful statement.
It's the slackers versus the jocks.
I slack before I end.
They're up to something.
In A Heartbeat, Sunday at 8, 7 Central, part of Zoog Weekends.
And now more Boy Meets World on Disney.
That's not all.
Boy Meets World will be right back.
Our TV went out.
Original movies, series and concerts.
It's got to be Disney Channel.
What did you expect?
And now a Jersey sports short with BMX champion Ryan Nyquist on how to do bar spins.
What's up? My name is Ryan Nyquist.
A bar spin is a trick when you go up in the air,
spin your handlebars all the way around and then land safely.
The first step is to stabilize the seat and spin the bars.
The next step is to roll the bike and do the bar spin on the ground.
And once you've mastered those first two steps,
you're ready to try it in the air and move on to tougher stunts.
This has been your sports short for the day.
Hey everyone, Misha here from Movie Surfers.
I'm on the set of Myra's new video, Dancing in the Street, from Disney's Recessed School's Out.
And guess what? I'm going to be in the video.
The day started in makeup.
And then it was off to wardrobe.
This is cool. And I'll move while you dance. Turn it on.
Once in costume, it was time to meet Myra.
What exactly is the idea of your music video?
It's really about having fun and just being able to do your own thing.
So what do you like doing, singing or dancing better?
You know what? I like both.
Singing is like so fun, right? And it really comes from the heart.
And when you're dancing, you could just feel the music.
Five, six, seven, eight.
That's me, surfers, co-starring in Myra's video.
I can't believe I'm here.
And surfers, 25 performers joined Myra in a mix of Latin, hip-hop and 60s dance style.
The video was inspired by some wild flashback scenes from the movie.
Look for me in Myra's new video.
And be sure to catch recess. School's out. Now play.
But he's still an everyday kind of guy.
The famous Jed Jackson, everyday inside Zoo Disney.
Hey, my name's Lizzie, and these are my best friends Gordo and Miranda.
Hi.
Hi. My new show's about me and my friends.
Nothing really happens to us, though.
Yeah, our lives are boring.
Even her family is Dollsville.
Well, maybe there are a few things in my life that are a teeny bit unusual.
Lizzie McGuire, get inside our head. Fridays at 6, 5 Central, part of Zoo Weekend.
And now more Boy Meets World on Disney.
Coming up next, it's that 10-year-old 10th grader, Smart Guy.
Then stick around for Boy Meets World, here on Disney.
That's not all. Smart Guy will be right back.
Next babysitting job spins out of control when an 8-year-old jumps off the couch and onto the track.
The coach's 8-year-old nephew is driving a car at 200 miles per hour. Oh, no.
An all-New Jersey is heading your way Thursday at 5, 4 Central, only on Disney.
Between Cory and Topanga.
I love you because of who you are.
Between Cory and Eric.
Hey, little bro, life's tough. Get a helmet.
Between Cory and Mr. Feeny.
Get out of my face.
There's a whole world of laughter.
This is hilarious.
And love.
Hey, don't make me come back there.
On the show that grew up to be a phenomenon.
We were completely cool.
Completely cool.
Boy Meets World, every day at 5, 3, 4 Central and 6, 3, 5 Central, only on Disney.
One-on-one with Erin Carter and Samantha Mumba.
I'm 13 years old.
I've just gone 18.
And I'm from Tampa, Florida.
And I still live in Dublin.
I started performing when I was like 6 years old.
When I was about 7 and a half, 8, I started singing.
I was actually in a rock group at 6 years old.
I started tap dancing when I was 3.
Who do I look up to as a vocalist?
Michael Jackson.
Steve Perry.
Aretha Franklin.
Nirvana.
I love Lil Kim's new album.
Most of my hobbies are shopping.
Probably motocross.
And sleeping at the moment.
But the main one is definitely shopping.
I shop till I drop.
My favorite foods are junk foods.
Just anything.
If it's put in front of me, I'll eat it.
Anything that's really bad for me, really.
Are you kidding?
If I wasn't a performer.
I'd love to be a fashion designer.
I would be a marine biologist.
In concert with Erin Carter and Samantha Mumba.
Brought to you in 4D, Friday, March 30th at 6, 5 Central, only on Disney Channel.
Disney presents...
Imagineer That!
With Tom Morrow 2.0.
Any questions?
Here's a question that'll make you flip.
John wants to know why you don't fall out of a rollercoaster when you go upside down.
The answer will throw you for a loop.
Literally.
Come on.
Ride a ride with a loop in it and you'll find yourself looking up at the ground.
Here at Disney, we've got lots of ways to help you defy gravity.
So why don't you fall out?
Just ask Imagineer Susan Ross.
That's easy.
It's just making sure that the centripetal acceleration, which is equal to the velocity...
Coming up next, get ready for Boy Meets World.
Then stick around for Sun and Surf in Disney Channel's original movie, Rip Girls, here on Disney.
Next...
Relax, this guy's got nothing.
Cory and company try to play Cupid.
We must help Feeny.
But just end up playing Stupid.
George.
They did it.
We are insulted.
Watch Boy Meets World, coming up next, only on Disney.
That's not all, Boy Meets World will be right back.
Eleven girls, one team.
Only one, Shelby.
That girl's just wild.
I've done some crazy things.
But you guys want to be serious.
There were a couple of games that we won because of her three-point shot.
I think a lot of times I do like to be center of attention.
Shelby, one of eleven real girls, on Totally Hoops, a totally true story.
Sundays at 8, 7 Central, totally part of Zoog Weekends.
Clavon here.
I'm hanging out with Ashley Johnson at our elementary school.
Ashley does the voice of Gretchen in the new Disney movie, Recess, Schools Out.
Why, I once fashioned a particle accelerator out of a broken hairdryer and a four-slice toaster oven.
Gretchen is really smart.
What kind of student were you?
I was a pretty good student.
Ashley Johnson, please report to the principal's office immediately.
Sounds like you're in trouble.
Yeah.
Ashley Johnson, the principal is still waiting.
Oh, very funny.
It's Andy Lawrence.
You look like you're taking one of TJ's tricks from the movie.
And next year I promise to...
Why, a principal prickly, sir. What a surprise.
What kind of person is TJ?
He's just a troublemaker all around.
Do you enjoy tormenting me?
On the contrary, sir. I have only the utmost respect for you.
So what do you say we take a look at your old stomping grounds?
Let's go.
Here is the kitchen to the cafeteria.
The pots and the pans that make the really bad food.
What should we do with the rest of this corn chowder?
Leave it in the kettle. It'll keep till September.
Oh, my God. This is my old classroom.
This is Mrs. Carlson's classroom. This is so exciting.
Do you guys ever remember counting down to the last day of school?
Never in elementary school.
I mean, sure, we looked at the clock every once in a while.
Once I got in middle school, I was like, oh.
Three, two, one.
Ketchy says school's out, now playing in theaters.
Hey, I'm Lizzie, and I have my own new show.
Ignore her. Her name's Matt, and the show is all about Mwah.
Excuse my brother Doofus.
My new show stars my best friends Gordo and Miranda.
Oh, yeah? I got a lizard.
Mom, Dad, Matt's trying to steal my show.
Now, kids, we all know it's our show.
I thought it was Lizzie's show.
Yes!
Lizzie McGuire, get inside her head.
Fridays at 6, 5 Central, part of Zoo Weekend.
On Disney Channel's original series, Even Steven,
she's good at just about everything.
What's there to say about me? Not much.
Because, you know, before I was a coordinator, I was just a class president.
Fascinating.
He's good at one thing.
Can you give me some aspirin? I got a splitting headache.
Even Stevens.
A show about a brother and sister with nothing in common.
Except their names.
What are you doing? I just wanted to see how it would look.
Even Stevens at 7, 6 Central, part of Zoo Weekend.
My favorite food is pizza.
Nachos.
I love pasta.
Burgers.
Oh, I love soul food. I love soul food.
Hot dogs.
I like seafood. I think it's always been crabs and lobsters.
Tacos.
My favorite food in the entire world is mashed potatoes.
And my mom thinks it's because it's my comfort food.
It's like that one food that, like, makes you feel good.
My mom, she makes this sound like that is him.
I like potatoes in any form. Fried.
I love collard greens.
Scallops.
Black-eyed peas.
Thanks. Potatoes.
I love Indian food.
Since I'm trying to gain weight, mostly all I have is, like, steak.
And I'm sick of it.
What are we having for dinner, Mom, Dad?
Steak.
Uh-oh.
My favorite food is just all my mom's cooking.
It's a good cook.
Kids like you express themselves every day on Disney Channel.
And now, more Boy Meets World on Disney.
In the new Disney Channel original movie, The Luck of the Irish,
Kyle goes from kid to a leprechaun, and that's just the beginning.
Action.
But there's more to becoming a leprechaun than meets the eye.
Here's the formula in three easy steps.
Step one, get yourself some pointy ears.
Oh, no. I'm turning into a Vulcan.
I mean, look at these ears. Do girls find these attractive?
The leprechaun ears were made of silicone, a soft plastic.
Using medical adhesive, each ear took about an hour to apply.
I want these ears for every job I ever do.
Step two, learn how to shrink.
I said I'm down here.
Ryan may look normal height, but when they stand him in front of a blue screen,
special effects magic can make him appear the size of, well, a leprechaun.
I'm looking up, and I'm like an inch tall.
Ah!
Step three, learn step dancing.
I have an immense new respect for anyone who can do step dancing.
It took actors Ryan and Tim two weeks to learn the complicated cadence
of traditional Irish step dancing.
Kyle, what are you doing?
I don't know. I can't help it.
The luck of the Irish.
He was a kid one day, a leprechaun the next.
Why'd you do that?
It's a leprechaun thing.
The luck of the Irish, opening Friday at 7, 6 Central,
part of Zoo Weekends.
Jet Jackson, every day inside Zoo Disney.
Let's go!
On the next In A Heartbeat.
We're going to make a powerful statement.
Stickler!
It's the Slackers versus the Jocks.
I slacked it for Ryan.
They're up to something.
In A Heartbeat, Sunday at 8, 7 Central, part of Zoo Weekends.
And now another Jersey Sports Short with Coby Jones of the L.A. Galaxy.
Here's a little trick.
So you just start out with a juggling,
but every time you want to try to get the ball spinning back towards you,
try to keep the ball in front of you the whole time.
You have to keep moving.
Get it up, and...
A lot of practice.
I started this one in 95.
There you go. See? Got that?
Stay tuned for more of the Jersey Sports Shorts only on Disney.
One-on-one with Erin Carter and Samantha Mumba.
I'm 13 years old.
I've just gone 18.
And I'm from Tampa, Florida.
Who do I look up to as a vocalist?
Michael Jackson.
Steve Perry.
Aretha Franklin.
My favorite foods are junk foods.
Just anything. If it's put in front of me, I'll eat it.
Anything that's really bad for me, really.
Are you kidding?
In concert with Erin Carter and Samantha Mumba.
Brought to you in 4D, Friday, March 30th at 6, 5 Central on Disney Channel.
And now, more Boy Meets World on Disney.
Tomorrow.
Cory!
Cory's wild dreams become everyone's nightmare.
He hasn't slept in three days.
Hot coffee coming through.
Hey, thanks, Cory.
These are mine. Get your own.
Watch Boy Meets World tomorrow at 6, 35 Central only on Disney.
Coming up next, it's back-to-back Disney Channel original movies.
First, Catch a Wave with Rip Girls.
Then Race to the Finish Line and Motocross.
It's all right here on Disney.
We'll be right back with...
NCT KISS!
Diggy!
Fight it!
I can't!
Ten seconds. Not bad.
Gotta have sweet. There's only one juicy fruit.
You're a lady!
Barbie has a whole new look.
Talk about it!
Make me pretty, Barbie. She's talking pretty.
Can you comb my hair?
Honetail clips, makeup too.
Press the jewel.
She talks to you.
Let's put on my lipstick.
What's your look?
Princess or bride?
Change her style.
You decide.
Why don't you put on my crown?
Love to.
Make me pretty, Barbie. She's talking pretty.
Make me pretty, talking styling head. Really talks.
Makeup changes with icy and warm water.
Batteries not included.
Even if your State Fair corndog doesn't have legs,
it can still chase its tail.
State Fair corndogs with ballpark franks inside.
Good corndog.
OBC KIDS!
Get on the team with Lizzie in the game!
Woohoo! I'm back!
Lizzie McGuire is next on ABC KIDS!
You're watching ABC KIDS!
You can view KTMV-TV on the following translators.
ABC KIDS!
Lizzie McGuire will be right back on ABC KIDS!
Mystery Squad!
Meet the stylish mystery crew on the case tracking clues.
Mystery Squad!
Barbie uses special vision.
For our part of the mission.
Truth signals with a beam.
To get Shawnee on the scene.
While Kendi and her spy dog.
Drop it from off above.
Mystery Squad!
Mystery Squad action team dolls come with lots of mystery solving spy stuff.
Each sold separately.
You can be a part of the Mystery Squad too.
These cool spy glasses let you see what's up behind you.
Athos! There goes Scandalini's truck!
He's losing the soul in Buffy Chocolate!
The Musketeers' fluffy chocolate.
My sweet dreams pillars will make me millions!
Gotcha, Scandalini!
Nice going!
Reward yourself big time with a fluffy whipped up chocolate on chocolate taste of a free Musketeers bar.
We saved our fluffy chocolate from Dr. Scandalini.
And the fluffy chocolate saved him.
Free Musketeers. The big chocolate reward.
On the next Wild Force.
The Wild Zords have disappeared.
We let Animus down.
They're defenseless!
Power up with a brand new episode of Power Rangers Wild Force.
Today on ABC.
ABC Kids!
Lizzie McGuire is back on ABC Kids.
We'll be right back with Lizzie McGuire on ABC Kids.
Me want honeycomb.
Again with passion.
Me want honeycomb.
He looks better on TV.
Cut!
What?
Where is my massage?
Okay, let's shoot the cereal.
Honeycomb?
I just gotta have that honey sweet crunch.
Me want honeycomb.
Move it hula boy.
Give up or don't leave.
Perfect, it's so real.
Honeycomb cereal is part of this good breakfast.
More milk my man.
This Friday, two habits.
You can nab Scooby Doo on video and DVD.
Where's Scooby?
Who's the appeal?
But remember, no jumping.
Bread!
No fighting.
And no...
Well, maybe a little.
I'll have whatever he's having.
So whatever it takes, get moving.
And you can own Scooby Doo on video and DVD.
With really cool Scooby extras.
Scooby Doo on video and DVD this Friday.
We're baking up treats that look good enough to eat.
With the Sweet Magic Kitchen.
Crack the eggs, mix it up, put them into bake.
And when they come out, don't they look great?
And there's lots more ways to make your treats look sweet.
Let's make more.
With the Sweet Magic, Sweet Magic, Sweet Magic Kitchen.
Comes with everything here, including pretend food, color changes with ice or cold water, batteries not included.
When you're raising teenagers, there is one word parents need to master.
No.
No!
You understand what I'm saying?
No.
No, no, no.
Eventually, your kids will get it.
No, no, no, no.
No.
Are we done yet?
No.
We're back with more Lizzie McGuire on ABC Kids.
ABC Kids.
Lizzie McGuire will be right back on ABC Kids.
What's the cinch?
You can catch Kim, Ron and Rufus weekend afternoons on Disney Channel.
We are so there.
Catch Kim Possible weekend afternoons on Disney Channel and Saturday mornings right here on ABC Kids.
Will this big zit ever go away?
Ah, yes.
With the new Physioderm Acne Clear Swab, you will snap the chip, zap the little red demon and toss the swab away.
Now the future is clear.
The new Physioderm Clear Swab.
Marco.
Three, four, I declare a thumb war.
Right hand, right.
What a better way to play with your dog.
Introducing new Scooby Snacks.
The delicious dog snack is also a mystery game.
You can line up a spooky trail of pizza, cheese and drumstick shapes to see if your dog can track down the secret mystery snack.
New Scooby Snacks.
So fun.
It's scary.
Now in two dog snack and mystery games, scavenger hunt and where are yous?
All natural Capri Sun Strawberry Banana.
It's liquid cool.
Get on the team.
I'm pretty proud, I'm cute and I'm loud and I got it going on.
The Proud Family is next on ABC Kids.
You're watching ABC Kids.
You can view KTNB Children's Programming broadcast reports at our studio.
Time out.
The Proud Family will be back on ABC Kids.
Hey, I'll trade you my cheese sandwich.
My Pringles no way.
Cheese.
Next.
No.
I'll be your girlfriend.
I'm taking.
A squirrel.
Nope.
Next.
All best, anyone?
Yeah, right.
New Pringles Snack Stacks.
What would you do to put that crunch in your lunch?
Sour cream and onion.
Done.
Here we go.
On October 8th, you can explore the castle and experience the magic, fun and adventure.
Beauty and the Beast Special Edition on video and Disney DVD this Tuesday.
Rated G.
Fight it.
I can't.
10 seconds.
Not bad.
Gotta have sweet.
There's only one juicy fruit.
Come on, you off lady.
On the next Wild Force, the wild zords have disappeared.
We let Animus down.
They're defenseless.
Power up with a brand new episode of Power Rangers Wild Force.
Today on ABC.
Time in.
The Proud Family is back on ABC Kids.
Fair warning, Dr. Zimmerman.
You're about to leave the world you know behind.
Who are you?
Welcome to the Sanctuary.
You're turning me on.
How is this even possible?
Stargate's Amanda Tapping in the Syfy Original Series.
Sanctuary.
Special two hour premiere Friday at 9 on Syfy.
The warnings are there.
The climate is changing.
This Saturday.
The city that never sleeps will face its biggest nightmare.
New York City Tornado Terror premieres this Saturday at 9.
Part of the 31 days of Halloween.
Can't stop thinking about games?
Now there's a destination just for you.
Fidget.com.
Game on.
Auto insurance wasn't something I used to get animated about.
Until I switched to e-surance.
Paul is an actual e-surance customer.
Here we go, Paul.
With competitive rates and quote by print convenience,
e-surance makes it easy to save time and money on car insurance.
And don't forget, if you ever run into any trouble,
special agents are here to help you.
24-7.
Who knew I could be so drawn to my auto insurance company?
Take a fresh look at your auto insurance.
Get your quote from e-surance today.
Want some variety in your meal?
Have it all in one with Long John Silver's Sampler Combo.
Chicken, fish, shrimp, and a drink, just $4.99.
Long John Silver's.
Throw boring overboard.
Four police officers have been shot.
No!
The men who were killed were under your brother's command.
Fine will kill our guys on October 24th.
She says it was a cop.
She said it was Jimmy.
It will go deeper.
We stay out in front of the task force on this.
Then you think.
We sold our shields off.
High is better.
Murder for high.
Are you telling me we're going to suppress that?
A guy like this could tear apart the entire department.
You breathe a word of this.
I'll split your throat.
Five.
Glory.
Rated R.
Starts October 24th.
Beep.
Hey, Greg's phone.
Greg doesn't have AT&T, so we got zero bars here in Brussels.
So thanks for the call about hopping on the train and heading to Paris for the weekend.
Looks like you won't be hearing from us.
Instead, we're going to hang at this hostel with the techno twins, Slawton Veeder.
For the best coverage, switch to AT&T.
More bars in more places.
Get our exclusive LG Shine for only $49.99 and get one free.
They're a pizza place.
We don't have anything to worry about.
Yeah, we do.
These things are freaking great.
Introducing Domino's Oven Baked Sandwiches.
You got four savory flavors for just $49.99 each.
Domino's.
And you got 30 minutes.
Prepare for louder screams.
Bigger laughs.
This is crazy.
And pranks you can't see anywhere else.
I don't want to go home.
All in a new day and time.
We do what we want.
All new episodes of Scary Tactics with host Tracy Morgan.
Returning tomorrow at 10 on Syfy.
Some high.
I think I'm handling the whole world turned upside down thing pretty well.
Welcome to the sanctuary.
A Syfy original series.
Sanctuary.
Two hour premiere Friday at nine.
Mentos gum is irresistibly fresh.
Buy your personalized pocket bottle at MyMentosGum.com.
Mentos gum irresistibly fresh.
Working every day.
To unmatch the front lines.
Well I felt like I needed an extra kick or an extra little boost to get me through.
And from what I hear Five Hour Energy does the job so I decided to give it a try.
I like the way Five Hour Energy makes me feel before games.
It gives me that edge that I need and keeps me focused throughout the football game.
I tell all the players to take Five Hour Energy.
I mean they see the way it makes me feel so I think everybody wants that same type of feeling.
I am the Five Hour Energy guru.
It's the truth.
I mean I wouldn't be taking it.
Five Hour Energy.
I use it.
I love it.
Ode to the Subway Big Philly Cheese Steak by Ryan Howard.
Dig in my cleats.
Take a bite.
Oh the flavor soars out of sight.
Big Philly Cheese Steak puts burgers to shame.
Ought to be enshrined in the hall of fame.
Subway.
Eat fresh.
We are in a state of crisis.
Fellow citizens, like so many of you, I have gone blind.
Oh lady, I'm going to forget you boy.
I won't forget your face.
Like this, we did our Everywhere Friday.
This commercial changed my life.
It all started when I used this free research service.
A computer and a desire to succeed is all you need.
With all the money I made, I bought a new home and a new car.
My goal for next month, $60,000.
Use your computer to make more.
I love the freedom my home business offers.
And the money just keeps getting better.
Not working from home?
Then you're missing out on your share of a billion dollar industry.
Visit this website now.
I make over $9,000 a month working part time.
I make over $5,000 a month.
Never thought I'd make this much right out of school.
All you need is to visit this website.
They showed me how to use the power of television to build real wealth.
I'm making over $12,000 a month.
Check it out yourself.
You'll see why I love working from home.
Ready for more wealth?
Put your computer to work now.
Start making more from your home by going to this website today.
Log on to 84workathome.com now.
On the next All New Ghost Hunters, it was the scene of one of America's bloodiest conflicts.
The house was built on a triage camp.
Now at this Florida inn.
Did you hear that?
Do the dead still prepare for battle?
What?
This is crazy.
Ghost Hunters All New this Wednesday at 9 on SyFy.
They're a pizza place.
We don't have anything to worry about.
Yeah, we do.
These things are freaking great.
Introducing Domino's Oven Baked Sandwiches.
You got four savory flavors for just $4.99 each.
You got 30 minutes.
Iron Man is coming to Circuit City this Tuesday.
Hurry in to pick up the box of his smash, Iron Man, for just $13.99.
Good luck keeping up.
Iron Man this Tuesday at Circuit City.
Create.
Enjoy.
Destroy.
SimCity Creator.
Rated E for everyone.
Jack Link's Beef Jerky presents Messin' with Sasquatch.
This trail is awesome.
Jack Link's Jerky, feed your wild side.
You're about to leave the world you know behind.
Oh, God.
Welcome to the Sanctuary.
A SyFy original series.
Sanctuary.
Two-hour premiere Friday at 9.
This Saturday, the city that never sleeps will face its biggest nightmare.
New York City.
Tornado Terror.
Premiers this Saturday at 9, part of the 31 days of Halloween.
In a time of sorcery.
It's a demon.
There's just one man.
I better get paid for this.
Who can save the world.
I challenge the laws of nature and reason by summoning the power of destruction.
Straight Jacket.
Louder screams.
Bigger laughs.
And pranks you can't see anywhere else.
All new episodes of Scare Tactics with host Tracy Morgan.
Returning tomorrow at 10 on SyFy.
My story's a lot like yours.
Only more interesting because it involves robots.
Comedy Central remembers.
Good old-fashioned episodes of Futurama, nights at 9.
South Park is brought to you by Need for Speed undercover.
Trust no one, outrun everyone.
In stores November 18.
You're going to need a wheel man.
My job is to get you in.
Your job is to drive.
You're indeed exactly where I want you to be.
Need for Speed undercover.
Rated T for T.
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Jack Link's Beef Jerky presents Messin' with Sasquatch.
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Feed your wild side.
Rated E10 to T.
First time playing, first time?
Just jump here, you've got it.
Okay folks, we've got an avalanche warning on this slope and the mountain is loose.
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I told you they had it.
The Target Limited Edition Shone White Snowboarding.
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You are officially primal.
What?
I thought I was missing my period because I was ballerina thin.
Sarah gets a special delivery.
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Oh, my privates.
An all new Sarah Silverman program next.
Some will fight with honor.
Some will fight with ability.
Some will talk trash.
I am the father.
Oh, you've been seduced by the lame side of the force.
There's since much dork in you.
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Have more acne.
Dude.
I'm sorry.
Star Wars The Clone Wars Lightsaber Duels for Wii.
The power of the lightsaber is in your hands.
Rated T for Teen.
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I am marrying my dog and I'm thrilled about it.
The Sarah Silverman Program.
All new next on Comedy Central.
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New hydrating shower gels from Axe.
I know what you are.
Say it out loud.
Vampire.
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No.
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Get in the car.
I feel very protective of you.
You do this a lot.
You brought us in.
He's coming after me?
Twilight.
Rated PG-13.
In theaters November 21st.
Red Bull gives you wings.
Rated T-13.
Tonight's tag team partners.
Triple H and John Cena.
The Big Show.
Hornswoggle.
Seriously?
I can't decide.
The ultimate tag team in SmackDown vs. Raw.
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Indulge in something extraordinary.
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Get excited.
I just peed my pants.
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And catch an all new South Park Wednesday at 10.
Next.
You are officially pregnant.
What?
I thought I was missing my period because I was ballerina thin.
Sarah gets a special delivery.
For Sarah.
Oh, my privacy.
An all new Sarah Silverman program now.
There you go.
Find someone special in six months.
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Only at Walmart.
Christmas costs less at Walmart.
Save money.
Live better.
Walmart.
The holidays come but once a year.
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The HP TouchSmart PC.
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I found the perfect tree.
Really?
It comes with a present.
Like her, only gold is treasured.
Gifts of gold.
One more reason K is the number one jewelry store in America.
This the one, ma'am?
This is the one.
Every kiss begins with K.
Captain Morgan presents a holiday miracle.
Miracle.
A holiday miracle.
Drink responsibly.
Talk is cheap.
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If the transmission goes, you're out almost $2,500.
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On the season finale of Chase, the game moves to the big city for a showdown of the twins.
Will the runners double their chances or will sibling rivalry tear them apart?
I want you to slow down and focus.
Chase. Season finale this Tuesday at 10 on Syfy.
Right after an all-new ECW.
Tonight on an all-new Sanctuary.
You know the rules. There are no rules.
An illegal superhuman fight club claims Will as its latest victim.
We gotta get out of here.
And his only hope is someone Magnus never saw coming.
Who are you?
I'm your daughter.
A Syfy original series.
Sanctuary. All new tonight at 10 on Syfy.
Brought to you by Kay Jewelers.
Every kiss begins with Kay.
Visitors here take to a secluded paradise.
Until the locals here take them to hell.
Tinder Balls premieres this Saturday at 9 on Syfy.
One Mississippi, two Mississippi.
The two-second rule. It'll make you a safer driver.
And at Allstate, it can also earn you a bonus check.
Every six months, you're accident-free.
Can you afford not to be in good hands?
Thanks to Walmart, I bought my children new Christmas-eat pajamas.
To sleep in.
With unbeatable prices on their favorite character PJs,
Christmas costs less at Walmart.
Save money. Live better. Walmart.
Ask your doctor about your medical condition and all medications.
And ask if you're healthy enough for sexual activity.
Don't take Cialis if you take nitrates for chest pain,
as this may cause an unsafe drop in blood pressure.
Don't drink alcohol in excess with Cialis.
Side effects may include headache, upset stomach, delayed backache, or muscle ache.
To avoid long-term injury, seek immediate medical help for an erection lasting more than four hours.
If you have any sudden decrease or loss in hearing or vision,
stop taking Cialis and call your doctor right away.
Take a 36-hour Cialis or Cialis for daily use.
Ask your doctor if the Cialis option is right for you,
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We have come to challenge you in Mortal Kombat.
Fight!
What's a 13-letter phrase for marriage proposal?
I have absolutely no idea.
He went to Jared.
Jared has thousands of loose diamonds and hundreds of settings,
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If you need it most, Nissan delivers.
On the season finale of A State of Panic,
it's the creepiest, dirtiest,
Give us the keys or we'll give you the snake.
craziest season finale ever.
What on earth was going on in there?
I thought I was going to die.
The sci-fi original series is State of Panic.
All new this Wednesday at 10, right after Ghost Hunters.
Lincoln announces Employee Pricing Plus.
Pay what our employees pay, plus get additional cash back.
You've always wanted to know who's on Match.com,
and we want you to know it's okay to look.
We guarantee if you don't find someone special within six months,
we'll give you six months free.
And it's only at Match.com.
Maybe it's ordering that lucky jersey.
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Between now and December 31st,
using your Visa card not only helps you cheer your team to victory,
it also enters you for a chance to win trips to Super Bowl XLIII,
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Visa. For game day, it's the way to go.
Because we're so busy, we don't have a lot of time.
Get to the good stuff.
KY, yours and mine.
Amazing sensation for me.
Wonders for me.
They combine.
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With Walmart's unbeatable prices,
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Get all three and save over $120.
Christmas costs less at Walmart.
Save money, live better.
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I joined the Army because I could see myself gaining leaps and bounds
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He knew he could come out of it with a career.
I told my kids, I want you to do better than I have.
I'm very proud that he became a decent man.
Loving father.
The Army made him stronger,
should I well.
If your son or daughter wants to talk about joining the Army,
listen, you made them strong.
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We have come to challenge you in mortal combat.
Fight.
Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe.
Rated T.
Sink up and blast off in a Lincoln MKZ.
Buy a new Lincoln MKZ and save over $5,600.
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All right, you want to go?
Only two episodes left until the epic series finale of Stargated Lenges.
And tonight, trust no one.
Dr. Keller and Niva Castle have switched places.
They're in each other's bodies.
Not even yourself.
I am not Niva Castle.
Stargated Lenges, the final episodes, all new tonight at 9 on SyFy.
This Monday on SyFy, get shaken, not stirred, with back-to-back bond.
At 6, tomorrow never dies.
And at 8.30, the world is not enough.
I found the perfect tree.
Really?
It comes with a present.
Like her, only gold is treasured.
Gifts of gold.
One more reason Kay is the number one jewelry store in America.
This the one, ma'am?
This is the one.
Every kiss begins with Kay.
Captain Morgan presents A Holiday Miracle.
Oh, miracle, right.
A Holiday Miracle.
Drink responsibly.
A Verizon phone.
Thanks, honey.
There's more.
Oh, no way, a digital camera.
There's more.
A music player.
Uh-huh.
Oh, wow, a GPS with turn-by-turn directions.
There's more.
Verizon Wireless has the gifts that give more.
You can buff up, clean up, but you can't cover up that bald spot.
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In clinical testing, 85% of men re-grew hair.
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Attention, shoppers.
If you want value in paper towels, I've got news.
Bounty absorbs twice as much as its bargain brand.
So if you're buying the bargain brand, you might run out sooner than you'd bargain for.
Bounty, the one sheet, quicker, picker-upper.
Why do I love Walmart?
They've got this great service called Sight to Store.
I just go to walmart.com, where they have an even bigger selection, and find exactly what I want.
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You know, the savings were great, but the truth is, I would have paid anything for that morning.
With free shipping with Sight to Store, Christmas costs less at Walmart.
Save money. Live better.
Walmart.
I couldn't pay my bills.
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This is madness.
We need to talk to them. We need to tell them something.
What have you done to deserve this punishment?
I won't betray my beliefs.
I'm coming for all of you!
Go back where you came from. Go!
I remember. Defeat me.
One day soon there's going to be a reckoning.
Kara, what is it? What does it mean?
Lincoln announces Employee Pricing Plus.
Pay what our employees pay, plus get additional cash back.
Let's say you spend $100 a week at the supermarket on these kinds of items.
If you bought these kinds of groceries at Wal-Mart, you could save on average over $700 a year.
Christmas costs less at Wal-Mart. Save money, live better.
Wal-Mart.
I'm a Santa mom. We live pay-touch paycheck sometimes.
I do interior finish carpentry. I just work for myself.
I have been a banker for 28 years.
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December 31st. It's more than just the last day of the year.
It's the last day you can switch your Medicare Part D plan.
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You know the rules. There are no rules.
An illegal superhuman fight club claims Will as its latest victim.
We gotta get out of here.
A Sci-Fi original series, Sanctuary, all new tonight at 10 on Sci-Fi.
Every week, television's wildest, most original reality competitions live on Sci-Fi.
Go, go, go!
Tuesday nights get rich or get caught on Chase.
Got it!
Then on Wednesdays, it's Man vs. Mansion on a state of panic.
Two nights, two new realities, Chase in a state of panic, all new every week on Sci-Fi.
Next on Sci-Fi, Stargate Atlantis.
This week in an all-new Sanctuary...
What the hell's this? What's with the camera?
Where was Channel 13?
Two rules for aspiring reporters. Always get your shot.
Zach, tell me you got that!
And never get yourself killed.
Who knows we're here?
For God's sake, stop filming us!
Battle Circle Actica's Rika Sharma guest star as a sanctuary, all new this Friday at 10 on Sci-Fi.
Previously on Stargate Atlantis.
Now available on DVD and Blu-ray Disc.
From the creators of Fear Factor.
Comes the scariest competition on television.
It's Man vs. Mansion.
An all-new Sci-Fi original series, a state of panic.
All new every Wednesday at 10, right after an all-new Ghost Hunters.
I'm Ozzy Osbourne, and I'm the Prince of Darkness.
All aboard!
Ha, the Lich King is the Prince of Darkness, Ozzy.
Well, maybe you're the one who's been riding a f***ing crazy train, but I've been the Prince of Darkness since 1979.
There could be only one Prince of Darkness.
Shire!
World of Warcraft. Try it for free at Warcraft.com.
Brand-new team.
Ode to the new Subway Flatbread Sandwiches.
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Get the office with smart technology.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Get connected and stay secure with Windows Vista Business.
La la la.
Don, we now have great computers.
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Hey, let's go carol to carol.
Fa la la la la.
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I'm the only one of my kind.
Will Smith is Hancock on Blu-ray, Hi-Def, and DVD November 25th.
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I'm Ricky Ortiz, ECW superstar.
Watch me outside the ring as I hunt down contestants.
That's what they hired me for.
On the all-new reality competition series, Chase, Tuesday at 10 on SyFy.
So you're wondering, how's this going to work?
The whole typing with no keyboard thing can be kind of iffy.
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What more could you ask for?
Well, yeah, everyone asks for those guys.
America's largest 3G network introduces the world's first touchscreen Blackberry.
Only from Verizon Wireless.
Remember this place?
Of course.
This is where we first met.
What about here?
Our first date.
Our first kiss.
I don't remember this place.
You will.
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Every kiss begins with Kay.
Introducing the most advanced and powerful line of cyclone rakes ever.
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I'm Ozzy Osbourne, and I'm the Prince of Darkness.
OZZY OSBORNE!
Ha, the Lich King is the Prince of Darkness, Ozzy.
Well, maybe you're the one who's been riding a f***ing crazy train,
but I've been the Prince of Darkness since 1979.
There can be only one Prince of Darkness.
SHIRE!
You ready for some good news?
Denny's is giving away a big hot breakfast for just four bucks.
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Start your day with some good news at Denny's.
Speed shouldn't be a luxury item reserved for the lucky few.
We believe everyone should have access to a fast 3G network.
Sprint introduces the Samsung Rant.
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This Thanksgiving, Pierce Brosnan is James Bond.
The original.
Catch an action-packed triple feature of Bond at his best.
Welcome to my world crisis, Mr. Bond.
The very words I live by.
The Thanksgiving Day James Bond Marathon.
This Thursday starting at 4 on SyFy.
What's your life worth to you?
Get ready for the opening chapter of The Dark Saga,
equal to EA's hotly anticipated video game.
They've taken the bodies of the crew.
The terrifying new feature film that will redefine animated horror.
Dead Space Downfall.
Now available on DVD and Blu-ray Disc.
Every small town has good folks, but this town has murderous bad folks.
Stephen King's Desperation premieres this Saturday at 9 on SyFy.
Welcome to Fight Club.
Hi, LL Cool J.
That was me.
LL Cool J.
Before I started using Swagger from Old Spice.
Now look at me.
Nice.
From award-winning RPG game developer BioWare comes an extraordinary handheld adventure.
A dangerous new threat has emerged.
Sonic must team up with ten friends, each with unique powers.
Or with one goal.
To defeat the Dark Brotherhood.
A whole new role for Sonic with all new rules.
Sonic Chronicles, The Dark Brotherhood.
Made it easy for everyone.
Available now on Nintendo DS.
Game and system sold separately.
The company that's brought America stylishly affordable vehicles has now made it even easier.
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Welcome to Fight Club.
Walmart puts another dime in the jukebox.
The beat starts in 60 seconds.
There is a little bit of sibling rivalry there.
Only in video game land is when it happens.
It's a friendly sibling rivalry.
I always knew that he was watching me and watching what I was doing.
So it kind of made me want to be a better person because of it.
And that kind of changed the way that I acted too.
Both Jason and I actually took the same ITT Tech classes.
Actually, my first class I walked in and there was my brother.
In reality, I mean, I think since we could bounce the different ideas off of each other,
it kind of helped the whole situation out.
It's been absolutely wonderful watching you blossom into the incredible young man that you are.
I wish that I could have had as much success as they are having at such a young age.
Without the education that I got from ITT Tech, I would definitely not be able to live the lifestyle that
both my brother and I are in right now having great jobs that we're so grateful for.
It's just really awesome with our life right now.
Definitely good.
We are educators helping people build a foundation for the rest of their lives.
ITT Technical Institute. Education for the future.
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Hey guys, I'm Leila Kailey with The Feed.
Now last month, Forma announced they would no longer be supporting their DRM programs.
Due to customer criticism, the company is now rescinding that statement.
Users have received an email from Walmart stating,
we have decided to maintain our digital rights management service for the present time.
In other news, ABC is bringing back the hit series V.
The new show will be based on the popular 1980s miniseries about lizard-like aliens invading Earth.
Executive producer Scott Peters, creator of the 4400, is slated to work on the project.
Sounds very interesting.
But that's all for now. Visit us on the web at g4tv.com slash 50 for more of the news you need to know.
I'm Leila Kailey and this has been Fed.
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You hear that? What's that sound like to you? Defeat?
Nope, not to me. To me, it sounds like victory.
Strong under pressure. Jeter is Gillette Clinical Strength Antiperspirant with 34% better wetness protection than a prescription product.
Every day is a walk in the park. Even in this park.
Jeter's not going for anything less.
Hi, I'm John Scherer, CEO and founder of Video Professor.
I'm the guy that gives away the free computer learning lessons.
Well, today I'm here to tell you about a great new product that many of you have been asking for.
And here it is, how to buy and sell on eBay and I'll give it to you free.
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Her name is Morgan Webb and for four straight days she's invading the Tokyo Game Show.
The Tokyo Game Show starts tomorrow at 8 on G4.
What's this? The new BlackBerry? You've seen BlackBerrys before, it's no big deal.
Maybe one quick peek, just to see what all the fuss is about.
Whoa.
Hi, welcome to Progressive.com. How can I help you?
Well, I haven't shopped for car insurance in a while.
And you're worried that you've been paying too much, right?
Yeah. So how can I know I'm getting a good deal?
We can compare your Progressive direct rate with other top companies.
Wow. Seriously?
Yeah.
Look at the deal we just got him.
That's a new pair of shoes.
Yeah, or a big tricked out name tag.
Making sure you get a great deal. Now that's Progressive. Call or click today.
Where it's absolutely free to review your matches.
When I used to freeze like this, I would have a troop of minstrels to serenade me.
Those were great times.
Alas, my love, you do me wrong to cast me off discourteously.
Green sleeves was all my joy. Green sleeves was my delight.
Push the limits of freshness with new Colgate Max Fresh.
Packed with concentrated mouthwash beads.
It leaves your whole mouth ultra fresh.
New Colgate Max Fresh with mouthwash beads.
Ten contestants will run for money, but only one will escape the hunters.
A Sci-Fi reality competition, CHASE, all new every Tuesday at 10 on Sci-Fi.
Watch the next episode of CHASE to find out how you can enter for a chance to win $10,000 in the CHASE the Cash sweepstakes.
Holy crap, this is intense.
I'm Ozzy Osbourne and I'm the Prince of Darkness.
OLYMPIC!
Ha, the Lich King is the Prince of Darkness, Ozzy.
Well, maybe you're the one who's been riding a f***ing crazy train, but I've been the Prince of Darkness since 1979.
There can be only one Prince of Darkness.
SHION!
World of Warcraft. Try it for free at Warcraft.com.
Looks like a sandwich with the taste of a prime rib dinner.
Quizno's newest prime rib, only $3.99.
Slow roasted and sliced thin with an extra layer of prime rib piled high.
Real prime rib for $3.99?
Only at Quizno's. Mmm, Quizno's.
A Subaru has always been a way to tell the world what you care about.
That's why we created the Share the Love event.
Where you get the best deal of the year on a new 2009 Subaru,
then choose one of five charities to receive a $250 donation from us.
Because giving back feels good.
Lease the Outback for $239 per month and $250 gets donated to your choice of five charities now through January 2nd.
He's a watchful protector.
He's the hero that deserves a Dark Knight.
Dark Knight. Buy it on Blu-ray and DVD.
Go ahead. Take it off. You've got nothing to hide.
You can't get a body like this on an expensive diet plan,
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Looks like a sandwich with the taste of a prime rib dinner.
Quiznos' newest prime rib. Only $3.99.
Slow roasted and sliced thin with an extra layer of prime rib piled high.
Real prime rib for $3.99? Only at Quiznos.
Mmm, Quiznos.
The gift deserved one last little look.
This got her attention. That's all that it took.
Her husband thought quickly he had to act fast
to find just the right gift before Christmas had passed.
Now you can save on select diamond solitaire earrings at Kay.
That's just one more reason Kay is the number one jewelry store in America.
Every kiss begins with Kay
Why have you come to our planet?
Your planet.
I need to know what's happening.
You're on your own.
No, she's not. I'll go with her.
Where is it heading?
Everywhere.
The Davier stood still, rated PG-13.
Okay, so bright. It is bright.
Yep, bright idea from DiscoverCard.
So you're telling me with DiscoverCard I can get 5% cash back bonus in all kinds of places, even online?
Yeah, 5% to 20% when you go to shopdiscover.com.
Up to 20%? What's the catch?
There is no catch.
Well, I don't believe it.
Okay, what do I have to do to prove it?
A lie detector.
Really? You couldn't just look at the website.
It pays to discover something brighter.
Relentless. Fearless. Champion.
Matt Hardy is the master of his own destiny.
He is Matt Hardy, ECW Champion.
Join him on his quest to become the best champion ever.
ECW, live Tuesday at 9 on Syfy.
Followed by an all new episode of Chase.
There are only three episodes left until the series finale of Stargate Adventures.
And this Friday, a life-ending virus puts everyone at risk.
I'm not picking up any lifestyles.
We got something possible.
You need to get out of there now.
Stargate Adventures, the final episodes all new this Friday at 9 on Syfy.
Get ready for the opening chapter of a dark saga
equal to EA's hotly anticipated video game.
They've taken over the bodies of the crew.
The terrifying new feature film that will redefine animated horror.
Dead Space Downfall.
Now available on DVD and Blu-ray Disc.
Eric Roberts, who stars in Cyclops, a Syfy original movie, premieres this Saturday at 9.
Rated E for everyone.
Then team, make FaceTime.
STP super concentrated fuel injector cleaner.
Cleans your fuel injectors, intake valves and combustion chambers and helps you save gas.
So whatever you're working on, advance and help you keep the wheels turning.
It takes two to tax.
The rumor by LG.
For a limited time, if you buy one, you get one free.
Built for texting, so everyone's just an instant away.
Only $49.99 for a pair, any pair.
The rumor by LG.
Buy one, get one free in white, black or a fierce green.
This G4 employee just watched the Korean horror film, The Host.
A movie so terrifying, he has gone completely mad.
For the very first time on American television, G4 presents The Host.
We are begging you, don't watch.
You might end up like this.
G4 presents Fright Night 2008 with the premiere of The Host.
Plus, special X-Play and attack of the show. Halloween night.
What is going on?
Uh, ground control.
We have a problem.
Switching to lithium power.
I feel better already.
Energizer Ultimate Lithium, the world's longest lasting AA battery and high tech devices.
Walmart has all the characters your kids want to be this year, starting at just $12.88.
So, Batman or Snow White? Cinderella or Spider-Man?
At least shopping at Walmart is an easy decision.
Save money, live better. Walmart.
Got it.
The ridiculously long-lasting dome, Stride Sweet Berry.
The company that's brought America stylishly affordable vehicles has now made it even easier.
Now you can get 5,000 cash back on the Kia Sedona minivan and the Kia Sorento mid-size SUV.
Both come with a 10-year, 100,000 mile warranty and a 5-star crash safety rating.
That's two incredible vehicles, one incredible deal.
With 5,000 cash back, how can you afford not to?
I've made lots of faces, but none of them have ever stuck.
And if my mom's lying about that, then maybe I can go swimming after eating all that cheese.
When you don't have to think about your hair, your mind is free to wander.
Advanced head and shoulders, respect the scalp, get the hair.
Win your Hendrick Motorsports. Every race is a battle fought with Q motor oil technology.
Get the Q horsepower specially designed for your car. Unleash all your horses.
I'm here at the bank to find out why all these people are laughing. Are they crazy?
He made $150,000 from home. She made $6,000 last week. She'll make $175,000 this year.
Sure they're crazy, crazy like a fox because they've all made great money with their own home-based businesses.
You could be your own boss, work your own hours and bring in the dollars you deserve all from the comfort of home.
Just log on to this website and get your success kit.
You'll learn how to start a home-based business and live the lifestyle you've been dreaming of.
You'll also get this free guide that can show you how to put thousands of dollars in tax savings into your pocket.
The fox is right. I pulled in big money last week. I make more now than I did working full-time.
The fox is right. It's easy.
Crazy? I don't think so. Log on now to get your success kit.
Call or click PapaJohns.com. Plus, get a $3 coupon for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull DVD.
That shooter was a cop. She said it was Jimmy.
You got anything you want to say to me?
They were burying the truth.
This goes deeper than you think.
Pride and Glory, Big Dar. Starts October 24th.
Well, I felt like I needed an extra kick or extra little boost to get me through, and from what I hear, Five Hour Energy does the job, so I decided to give it a try.
I like the way Five Hour Energy makes me feel before games. It gives me that edge that I need and keeps me focused throughout the football game.
I tell all the players to take Five Hour Energy. I mean, they see the way it makes me feel, so I think everybody wants that same type of feeling.
I am the Five Hour Energy guru.
It's the truth. I mean, I wouldn't be taking it.
Five Hour Energy. I use it. I love it.
Getting an education isn't impossible. I was at two dead-end jobs. I was not happy. I didn't wake up happy. I didn't go to bed happy.
I knew I had no opportunity for advancement. I knew at that position I wouldn't be able to support a family.
I knew I needed to make change, and I knew I couldn't do that without an education.
He made some really good choices.
I've had my education. I've got a job with my education, and I'm happy to wake up and go to work. I'm happy to come home and see my family.
And he is doing exactly what he wants to do.
It might have been a little later than I hoped for, but I was able to complete school while working full-time while raising a family.
It's not impossible. If I can do it, anybody can do it.
I dialed up and flipped the script on your BBS server. I'm talking so much trash that I crashed the burner on your FTP Citadel.
I heard you got bombed by a Telnet hacker who was chilling with his mom. You're so antiquated, they should call you out the vista.
Go back to the 90s with Nirvana, Bart and Lisa. My DSM to reconnect with every boy and girl. Might as well face it. It's a nerd's world.
We've seen it. Starts now.
Perhaps it is time to die.
It's the dog.
The Xerox Block. This Sunday starting at 9.30.
It's such an exciting night.
Only on IFC.