You are having sex.
Now!
I have no idea what you're doing, but I think it's wonderful.
Passed away.
You're my oldest now.
I've always been your oldest, Mom.
Rated PG-13. Starts Friday, April 24th.
I was raised in a log cabin.
A log cabin, huh?
Yep. I had to walk ten miles to the grocers to get me some of this golden, delicious log cabin syrup.
That's funny. Grandma said that you were...
This log cabin being so rich and maple-y was as popular with the bears as it was with me.
Made things more interesting. I might walk home.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
Log cabin. Irresistible maple flavor for more than a hundred years.
Sir, Brooklyn must have really changed since you were a kid, huh, Grandpa?
At J.C. Pettit, we change the way we look at details.
The way a pattern's cut.
A pleat is pressed.
A button sewn.
We're looking harder than ever.
And better than ever.
We've changed J.C. Pettit.
We've changed our feel for fabrics.
We've gotten softer.
Smoother.
Thicker.
Thinner.
Lighter.
And tighter.
We've changed J.C. Pettit.
We've raised our standards and refined our selection.
We've added names you know and names you can count on.
We've shipped in dockers.
Hitched up with Hager.
And found the perfect zip with Hayes.
And though we've changed how we look at details from accessories to zippers.
One thing remains the same.
Our great values.
And great values are what make us...
J.C. Pettit.
Would you mind if I joined you?
No, please.
I wouldn't mind if you didn't.
It's just that you know sometimes...
I know.
Sometimes I was just about to say the same thing.
About it.
It's not always easy to be alone.
Yes, the A word.
Yeah.
So I'm glad I came over.
That makes two of us.
What did you decide to do about Sarah?
I mean I know how difficult it is to catch someone on the line.
I told myself that I did what I had to do.
You told Gannon.
Well, after all, it was the truth.
Don't I look free?
Free?
Well, it's not what the truth is supposed to do.
Except you're free.
Maggie.
Hi.
Hey.
Showered down?
Well, food for thought mostly.
You remember Andrew Carpenter?
Of course.
Hi, Maggie.
Will you join us?
Oh, no thanks.
I'm just here for some takeout and then back to work.
Thanks anyway.
Just keep your eye on your raincoat around this one.
Oh, you seem to have some problems with my article.
We're going with the original page one story.
The fireman who took the kitten off the roof.
Well, it was a very high roof and a very cute kitten.
Cute.
People don't read the intruder for cute.
That's like reading Lady Chatterley's Lover for etiquette.
The intruder is in your face news.
It is famous people doing infamous things.
Doreen, do you know what your problem is?
You have no feel for human interest stories.
Oh, the hell with human interest.
What ever happened to just simple fairness in journalism?
Look, you spread pictures of Jason and me enjoying ourselves all over the front page.
But when you are involved in a scandal, not one reader is ever going to read a bit of it.
Doreen, wanting those pictures of you and Jason was an act of pure malice.
Oh, finally a little honesty.
And the man who did it has been fired.
Actually, he did it because I fired him.
See, he slipped the pictures into composing at the last moment as revenge,
but it was too late to stop them from running.
There was nothing I could do.
And there is nothing you won't do to destroy the intruder.
I'm not destroying it. I'm taking it in a new direction.
Yes, straight down to the cellar.
It's been so instructive having this little conference with you.
Really, we must do it again some time.
But maybe next month, I'll check with my secretary for a date when I'm free.
Your secretary?
Now, however, I really have to be getting back to work, so if you don't mind, would you tell me?
Why are you refusing to cover the Carlo Hasselberg?
Blair, that is absolute insanity.
You are purposely sabotaging something that could be a money machine for you.
Why?
As I said, I am busy.
What on earth could I have possibly done to make you so hostile toward me, so vindictive?
Just tell me and maybe we can straighten this thing out.
All right. If you won't tell me, I'll just have to find out myself.
Sorry I'm late. Psych lecture ran over.
Hi, beautiful.
Well, now we are all here and I'd like to say thank you to everybody for making time to come here.
Although I wish we were meeting under happier circumstances, obviously.
We all know how serious this situation is with Pa and Renee.
Vicki and I were thinking that if we all get together, maybe we can come up with some way to help them out.
Well, personally, I wouldn't mind helping Pa out of town right now.
Acting like a first class idiot, married five times, hasn't learned a damn thing.
Why don't we get some help professionally?
We should talk to somebody, you know?
Yeah, like Andrew.
Well, what about Michael Jonas? He helped Sarah, didn't he, Bob?
Yeah, yeah, he did, but Pa's a whole nother smoke.
Leanne, is there someplace you have to be?
Excuse me?
I'm sorry. I just noticed you were looking at your watch a lot.
Oh, I'm sorry, Vicki. I didn't realize that was against the law, or maybe it's just against the law in this house.
Leanne.
But you know what? I think I am going to tell Vicki what I think.
It's this whole family gathering. I just think the whole thing is a little bit off.
Off in what way?
Well, you're all acting like this is a terrible thing, and if you ask my opinion, I think it's a blessing.
What?
It is. It's a blessing for Renee. She's finally finding out what I've known for months, what kind of man that Asa really is.
Hey, just cool it, Leanne.
Oh, please, Kevin, why don't you just admit it? I know you don't think any differently than I did.
Asa is a mean, tempered old man. He has a rattlesnake temper, and he'll lash out at anybody who gets in his way.
Leanne.
Leanne, we're talking about my grandfather.
The truth is, the only thing that matters to that man is money and power, and those are the two things that got him in trouble in the first place.
Renee is way too good for him, and I'm glad she's finally realizing it.
Hey, wait. Where are you going?
Out.
What do you mean by out?
I mean out of here, Kevin, to another place.
Like where? Where is it that you've been disappearing all the time?
You say your eyes are red, irritated, dry. Don't hide them. Help them with Clear Ice. It gets rid of the redness and has an extra moisturizing ingredient, too. Clear Ice. And for allergies and colds, Clear Ice ACR.
I'd be crazy these days not to safeguard my family against germs. Germs are everywhere.
Safeguard the ones you love.
Safeguard eliminates millions of germs. It has more antibacterial lather than any other soap.
Our pediatrician recommended antibacterial soap, and Safeguard's mild enough for the kids.
Rob and I need Safeguard's deodorant protection, too. With germs today.
Safeguard the ones you love.
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Thank you for a lovely dinner.
Aren't you gonna ask me in? For coffee?
Well, I do have Taster's Choice.
How can I refuse?
Savor the sophisticated taste of Taster's Choice.
Well...
Just one more cup?
You know I love your coffee.
Then, by all means, take it with you.
A tribe, a fragrance uprising.
Tomorrow on Good Morning America, what's new in 92 to improve your home?
Visit designer Paloma Picasso and see how she created an intimate look for her bathroom.
Plus a tip from home improvement expert Jerry Canal on Good Morning America tomorrow.
Hey, wanna add value to your home? We'll show you how.
Brighten up your bathroom with new do-it-yourself ideas and it doesn't have to cost a lot.
We've got what you need to know from the latest space-saving ideas to designer tubs.
Right. Come on home. Oh, no!
Max, you scared me.
Oh, no, Dame was scared. Maybe she's human after all.
Human?
Yeah, that's what everyone wonders about you.
They think you don't have flesh and blood inside.
But you're made out of wire and wax and transistors and springs.
The way your heart should be.
You've got a little state-of-the-art calculator that's constantly checking the odds.
What is that supposed to mean? What happened? Why are you so angry?
I'm not angry. Does this look angry? No.
I'm energized. Yeah, I'm energized.
Which is the way I always am when I get my eyes yanked open for me.
Max, could you get to the point? I've got a lot of things to do here.
Don't I know it, huh? Don't I know it, huh?
What did I always hear about the fair Blair?
Oh, she's arrogant. She's selfish.
She is bad news. She's only thinking of herself. She's bad luck.
I mean, no, no, no, I laugh. I laugh.
You see, I ignored all that because what I saw...
I saw a completely different woman.
I saw a sweet, sensitive spirit.
It was locked in a prison of old habit.
It was trapped by fears and yearning to be free.
But no, no, no, maybe what I was seeing was just wishful thinking.
Maybe that's what... Or maybe I was just...
Maybe I was just fooling myself, huh?
Maybe that woman I thought I was falling in love...
She just never existed. That's what... Yeah.
All right, all right. You have obviously heard the rumor.
Oh, I heard the rumor. Yes, rumor!
It says in story, a fiction, because that is what it is.
A lie, made up.
Is it, huh?
Nick, I am not having an affair with Asa Buchanan.
Asa was drunk that night.
Oh, not that much, I believe.
Look, I wanted him to sober up.
He grabbed me, he kissed me, Renée walked in.
That is what happened, and that is all that happened.
Please, you've got to believe me.
Why?
Because what you think matters to me.
Very much.
Look!
You hear?
You do that again, you do that again.
You almost got me, yeah, you almost got me right there.
Those are those big eyelashes and that very earnest look.
Yeah, it's just a very dangerous combination.
And you know what?
Works like crazy for you, it really did.
It worked.
As long as I was a fool.
I'm not a fool anymore.
Bye-bye, Blair.
Happy honey.
Max!
I do not care about Blair Dateman.
And I do not care about Asa Buchanan.
I care that I was summoned here for some sort of meeting before the king and queen.
And when I choose to express my opinion, which I have every right to hold,
you don't even have the nerve to stand up for me.
This is our family, Leanne.
No, Kevin, it's your family, all my family's dead.
That's not true.
You and me and the baby, we are family.
Kevin, I married you.
I did not know that until being brow-beaten by your entire family.
You know, you said some pretty mean things in there yourself.
And I meant every single word of them, Kevin.
I don't plan to take them back just because I happen to be outnumbered.
I have to go, all right?
Well, where?
I'm going to Olanda's.
You have two more hours before your shift starts.
What are you doing with you when you spend all the time there?
Things.
These doors are as good as open.
You can be free to enjoy a nice sweet breeze in the morning.
And it's a lovely morning, let me tell you.
You can be free to have breakfast or fresh squeezed orange juice.
That is amazing.