Music
...brand of ranger humor.
So anytime she can be upset by us,
and she can, from that distance, she can be in this vehicle within a second.
It's really the stuff of African legends, a clear night with a million stars out.
Off summer in the bush there's a leopard stalking its prey, us in our own way hunting it.
Out here it's easy to understand why people, black or white, just feel African.
Out in the Ghazankulu region where Sandros grew up, it's easier to spot the differences.
This is the school he went to and where his children now study.
These kids haven't seen a white person in five years.
So what was it like when you were going to school?
Yeah, that time was a bit tough because you see, there were no schools like this one here.
So there were just three classrooms.
Government spending on education is high, but in the past white students have been heavily favoured.
Facilities here are poor, often non-existent,
and community donations are needed even for basics like fixing broken windows.
Do you think after the election the government will be able to spend more money on education?
Are you confident about that? Are you hopeful?
Yeah, I hope so.
I hope so. The reason why I'm saying that is because since three years back
they have started building some schools and that one is from the government.
So that's why we're hoping if the election goes right, they will try to build more schools
and they will try to improve their education.
A few blocks away, Sandros is building a new house.
It's basic by Australian standards, but palatial here.
Like most of the employed men in the town, his job is a long way away.
They work two or three months at a time before travelling home to their family.
It's daily life, devoid of the overt politics happening elsewhere.
Distant now, but Sandros is hopeful those events will change lives.
I would say it's a good opportunity for my children, not for us,
because for us, I would say what we're doing now is not for us, it's for them.
Oh sure, oh sure, oh sure, oh sure, oh sure, oh sure.
On Berks Backyard, the amazing priceless pets competition.
Frilled back pigeons, celebrity gardener Grace Knight,
and the tropical fish they thought was extinct,
illegally taken and discovered in a home aquarium.
Friday 7.30 in Berks Backyard on 9.
Music
All of the sports, all of the car,
the new Honda Integra with the genius of VTEC.
G'day, Shirl here.
You know, might attend to having the biggest home improvement sale ever,
with Ryobi home improvement bargains like these.
The Ryobi cordless drill kit is just $109.
The Ryobi heat gun kit is only $85.
The Ryobi orbital sander is also $85.
And the Ryobi circular saw is only $99.
Watch our house and you can win $50,000 in cash for your home improvements.
Yes you can, but might attend.
Music
To sport now, and key Australian batsman Mark Waugh is in doubt
for tomorrow's first cricket test against South Africa
after his damaged thumb worsened during practice.
Waugh struggled to keep his left hand on the bat in the nets today.
Waugh's likely replacement, Dean Jones.
Australia's bronze medal winning Olympic speed skating team
was back on the ice today.
They only arrived home from Lillehammer last night,
but were straight into training for the world championships
which start in England in a fortnight.
The medal win was Australia's first ever at the Winter Olympics.
Their team has had to employ a promoter
to handle their snowballing schedule of commitments.
While few would remember who won the ice dancing at the Winter Olympics,
nearly everybody knows who came third.
Torval and Dean got more publicity for the controversy over their placing
than if they'd been the winners,
which will give their professional careers a nice little boost.
Now they've decided to stop competing and concentrate on showbiz.
Lillehammer was supposed to be the icing on the cake
for skating's most successful duo,
but a bronze medal only brought bitterness.
We were disillusioned a little bit by how it happened.
We couldn't have performed any better.
Torval and Dean will now return to professional skating,
the controversy surrounding their Olympic farewell
ensuring sell-out shows worldwide.
Tonya Harding is back in training but out of favour with sponsors.
While a grand jury probe into the attack on Nancy Kerrigan continues,
Harding's searching for backers,
but even sports giant Nike reckons she just can't do it.
You OK? Sure.
But it's not all magic in Nancy Kerrigan's kingdom,
with the silver medallist far from silver-tongued.
When Nancy's mother and Mickey asked her to wear the medal during a Disney parade,
things got a little ratty.
The skaters already turned silver into a licence to print money.
Endorsements and the Disney deal worth millions.
They trade skates for high heels,
starring in a commercial with supermodels Claudia Schiffer and Cindy Crawford.
Scary, you could get hurt with these, so be careful.
For now, Kerrigan is learning not all dangerous slips are on the ice.
Andrew McKinlay for Nightline.
In finance news, the Australian share market drifted down two points today.
In Tokyo, the Nikkei fell almost 140 points.
In London tonight, the FT100 is eight points higher in morning trading.
Gold has fallen 50 cents an ounce to 377.75 US.
And in European trading tonight, the Australian dollar is buying 70.72 US cents,
1.2 Deutschmarks, 73 yen and 47p.
The national weather.
And there's a high near Perth with a ridge reaching across Victoria
into another high in the Tasman.
There's a low over Western Australia and another near Brisbane.
A cold front is crossing Tasmania.
The forecasts. Showers in Darwin and Brisbane.
The chance of a late shower in Sydney.
Fine in Canberra, Hobart and Adelaide.
A shower or two in Melbourne.
And a fine day in Perth.
And that's the news this Thursday night.
We'll leave you tonight with an update on Coco,
a gorilla we met years ago when she was learning to use sign language.
Oh, she's now put her skills to good use,
telling her handlers in no uncertain terms that she wants to become a mother.
Coco's been introduced to a prospective mate,
so it's now a case of waiting to see if love blooms.
Good night.
This program was proudly sponsored by your Ford dealer and Ansett Australia.
Next on Midday, what your face tells about you.
Women's magazines, are they too outrageous?
The Aussie couple diving with great white sharks.
Plus the country magic of Keith Urban.
Midday with Terence Henshaw 9.
This program is brought to you by the new V6 Pathfinder 4WD.
From an unison.
From New York, no vacancy.
It's The Late Show with David Letterman.
Tonight, John Larroquette, singers Bonnie Raitt, Cherry Butler, and Ben E. King.
And actress Jennifer Jason Lee.
Plus Paul Shafer and the CBS Orchestra.
And now, a man who is dizzy from the fumes, David Letterman.
How are you doing?
Hi, how are you?
Nice to see you.
How you doing?
Okay.
Thank you very much.
Thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen, for showing up here in the studio, in the theater,
and you folks at home for dialing us up.
Thank you very much.
Let me say one thing here before we begin, to Frank Sinatra.
Frank, you know, despite the fact that I work for CBS, neither I nor any member of my family
or any of my close friends had anything to do with interrupting your Grammy speech last night.
Just get that off, just right up there.
I just want to, no, not for everybody.
Now, let me see if I have this straight.
Nancy Kerrigan comes back from the Winter Olympics.
She won, of course, the silver medal.
Very, very close competition in the finals on Friday night.
Nancy Kerrigan has now won the silver medal.
So she, you know, she does one of those commercials where she says,
well, Nancy, you've won the silver medal.
What are you going to do now?
And she says, well, I'm going to Disney World.
And it turns out she really did, you know.
I never imagined people actually went there.
But, you know, I mean, I know, you know, I know they go there.
I just, anyway.
Nancy is down there over the weekend and she's got the big parade there, the big float.
And they're taking her through Disney World and, you know, through Orlando.
And then, I guess, I don't know, out onto the interstate.
I don't know where they're taking her.
And she's up there with Mickey Mouse.
And so Nancy Kerrigan, they have a microphone on her
because they're videotaping this for some reason.
I don't know.
And, you know, you read this.
Nancy Kerrigan is saying things like, boy, is this dumb.
Geez, this is corny.
Man, do I hate doing this.
And she's, you know, she's like complaining to Mickey Mouse.
And I'm thinking to myself, she is putting Mickey Mouse
in a terrible, terrible position.
Well, like, is he supposed to agree with her?
Oh, yeah, this stinks.
You know, that's just, that's what you're gonna say.
Yeah, I hate it.
You're right.
Let's go get a couple of beers.
I ought to be doing cartoon voices.
I love it when you do that.
This is fascinating to me.
You know, if you know anything about me, you know,
I love everything having to do with airplanes,
commercial aviation, and airports.
Oh, yeah.
And I'm reading about Denver,
the metropolitan Denver area is building a brand new airport,
and it's like $3.2 billion.
That's a lot of concrete, folks.
$3.2 billion.
And it's not open yet.
The airport's still not up and running.
And you know why?
They have some kind of an automatic baggage claim system
that sorts baggage and gets it to its rightful owners
on the carousel after the planes land and people get off of them.
And it's not working out.
$3.2 billion in the baggage system is not working.
And I'm thinking to myself,
they should just do what the airports here in New York City do,
Kennedy and LaGuardia, how they handle their baggage.
As you know, of course, it's first come, first served.
That's...
Hey, Nancy, somebody stole my bag.
I think this is kind of odd.
Louisiana, man, it's a great state, Louisiana.
Wonderful state. Thank you, sir.
They are now at truck stops.
They are legalizing poker playing at truck stops.
So they're installing poker tables, card tables,
where guys can come in and gamble at truck stops.
And I'm thinking, man, this is comforting, isn't it?
You could be motoring along on the interstate
next to an 18-wheeler being driven by a guy who's just lost his paycheck.
Yeah!
Somebody else is doing a show on the balcony.
And we don't mind.
It's a little way for us to generate some revenue.
I was reading a survey in the Washington Post,
and it said that 40% of the Americans who took part in this survey,
40% of the people who were polled,
and I think we all know how uncomfortable that can be.
Boy, this stinks, don't it, Nancy?
What do you say I unload many and we go somewhere?
40% of the people in this survey said that they think that the CIA does a great job.
48% of the Americans in this survey that the CIA does a great job.
And apparently so does the KGB.
Wow!
Oh, man, the band is leaning on stuff.
That's a bad sign.
Look at that.
All right!
Well, today down in Washington, the Super Bowl champion Dallas Cowboys
showed up at the White House.
Did I mention we're doing a separate show on the balcony?
You know, that's not a bad idea.
One of these nights we'll do our little show right down here,
and then we'll get like Pat Sajak or somebody to go up there.
Geez, it's getting ugly.
So the world champion Dallas Cowboys are visiting the White House.
President Clinton runs down, opens the door, and he said,
Oh, my God, this has been a terrible mistake.
I invited the cheerleaders.
Mr. Gotti, Mr. Strawberry, Mr. Strawberry, Mr. Gotti, Mr. Gotti, Mr. Strawberry.
The general manager of the New York Mets said that next season
the Mets would no longer be a laughing stock.
That's what he said. It's his promise.
Next season, the manager, general manager, has said
the New York Mets will not be a laughing stock.
So apparently they are really going to be taking this business of sucking quite seriously.
Stop it.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a wonderful program for you tonight.
John LaRocquette is here.
There you go.
Also, this is going to be terrific.
Bonnie Raitt is here. Jerry Butler is here.
And Benny King, right here with the band later tonight.
And a terrific actress.
I'm very, very happy to have this woman on the program, Jennifer Jason Lee.
I've enjoyed her work many, many times.
And sitting in with the band tonight, Joe Perry.
There he is right over there, Joe.
Now, sitting in the middle of our good friend, Paul Schaeffer.
Let's go.
Baaaah!
Paul, I can't begin to tell you how discouraging it is when I'm out there telling my little jokes
at the beginning of the show and I look over and the band is doing this.
Yeah.
Next thing you know, there will be smoking butts.
That won't happen.
I don't want to catch you kids smoking while I'm out here working.
Don't worry.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a wonderful show.
We're going to do something a little different for you right now.
Tonight, right here on my right hand, the top ten list from the home office in Sioux City, Iowa.
The category tonight, listen closely, the category tonight, top ten singable names.
Top ten singable names.
That's right, the category, top ten singable names.
And now, to assist in the presentation of our top ten list tonight, folks, do me a favor.
Please welcome the Late Show Top Ten Backup Singers.
Kids, come on out here.
Okay, the category once again, top ten singable names.
Here we go.
Number ten.
Vladimir Zhirinovsky.
Very, very nice.
Number nine.
Shaquille O'Neal.
Yeah.
Number eight.
George Stephanopoulos, Stephanopoulos, George Stephanopoulos.
Okay.
Number seven.
Ava Gota.
That's actually kind of a surprise that it came in that high, is it?
That that would be number seven.
Here we go, number six.
Tee Kable Street.
Yeah.
Number five.
Jeff Gahlut.
Number four.
Marlee Safer.
Number three.
Newt Gingrich.
Number two.
Jeff Gahlut.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, here with the number one singable name,
please welcome Grammy Award winner Tony Bennett.
Tony.
All right, here now, here now with the number one singable name.
Take it away, kids.
The guy who runs the U.S.
We'll be right back here.
What do we got here tonight?
Kids.
Friday night at the movies.
We're here to see some ghosts.
You're invited to a house haunting.
What's the good of being a ghost if you can't frighten people away?
What do you think of this?
The Oscar-winning spook of a comedy.
He does not work well with others.
Michael Keaton.
Let's turn on the juice and see what James looks like.
And his absolute wildest.
We've come for your daughter, Chuck.
Alec Baldwin and Gina Davis.
It's not working out.
It's showtime.
Weedle Juice, 8.30 Friday on Channel 9.
We've been over that before, Mel.
Yep.
Oh, no, no, no, I understand your concerns, Mel.
I understand them.
No, sure thing.
Sure thing.
Well, I'll tell you what, I'll work on it on the weekend.
No, no, well, I'll devote the weekend to it.
And we should be able to come up with something by Monday.
No, good to speak to you, Mel.
Bye, Mel. Bye.
A new V6 Pathfinder four-wheel drive from the new Nissan.
This week at Roger David, when you buy a jumper for $39.95, you get one free.
Buy a pair of pants for $59.95 and get a pair free.
Buy a top for $19.95 and get one free.
Buy this sports coat for $199.95 and get another one free.
Buy a business shirt for $29.95 and you got it.
Get one free.
Buy one, get one.
This week at Roger David.
A lot of cash.
Run into Food Plus.
Hey, kids.
Hi there, how are you?
Welcome back to the show.
Hey, Nancy, let me ask you a question.
What's the deal on Tanya?
John Larroquette is on the show tonight and musically something really, really very exciting.
Bonnie Raitt, Jerry Butler and Benny King right here.
All together.
And Jennifer Jason Lee, who is a terrific actress who has been in many, many fine films,
very interesting films and a very, I don't know, something sort of hard to put your finger on.
And this is the signal for hard to put your finger on.
Hey, look, Benny, I can't put my fingers on it.
Jennifer Jason Lee, have you ever seen that Miami Blues?
Yes, fabulous.
Are you telling the truth?
No.
She was great in that motion picture.
And sitting in with the band, I'm sorry, sitting in with the CBS Orchestra all night, Joe Perry.
Hey, Joe.
I think Joe is the one who started the trouble with the other band members earlier.
He could do it.
While I was telling my jokes, Joe was there.
I think he was the troublemaker there.
He could get away with it.
Ladies and gentlemen, do me a favor now, live via satellite all the way from Lillehammer, Norway.
Please do me a favor.
Say hello to my mom.
Come on in.
Mom, the Olympics are over.
You can go home now.
Okay, thank you, David.
All right, bye-bye.
There she is.
My mom, live from Lillehammer, Norway.
He's doing it again.
He's staring at me over there.
Like that, look at that.
Just like that.
Just one of these jobs.
Folks, our first guest has won four Emmy Awards for his supporting role on the series Night Court.
And now he is the star of his very own television program, which coincidentally is entitled The John Larroquette Show.
Folks, do me a favor.
Please welcome the man himself, John Larroquette.
Hi.
John, you look like you've just come from an audition for the Johnny Cash story.
Yeah, he is my spiritual mentor.
How you doing?
Well, you know, it's crazy.
I didn't mention this earlier, and I don't know if you've been in New York City here lately, but this tonight, right now as we're doing the show, we're in the middle of our 14th major winter snowstorm of the season.
I didn't dress for it either because I listened to you the night you said that March 1st was the official day of spring.
I know.
We're hanging on for that.
But Sodom and Gomorrah, you know, the nuclear test site of the universe these days, thinking I was going to come here and see.
Coming from California is what you're saying.
Yeah.
Oh, boy.
And where I live, I mean, you used to be up there up in the Malibu district, and it's just impossible to get there from here.
It's like fire science theater.
You just can't get anywhere anymore.
Yeah, because once the highway shuts down, that's it.
You're done.
Right.
You have to go to Oxnard.
Yeah.
And you have to have a visa to get through Oxnard to get back to the 101 at that point.
I figure there should be some sort of emergency kits made specifically for the Hollywood types, you know, because there's lots of things that we miss when the earthquake happened.
We didn't have any electricity.
So I've got this idea of making this kit that has things that we really need, a six pack of Avion so that you've got some extra water.
This is more like show business people.
Yeah.
That, you know, a pamphlet that explains, so your upstairs neighbors are now next door.
You know, how do you, what is the etiquette of getting to know them?
Of course a gun.
A gun?
Oh.
In this case you have to shoot your dinner.
Because the stores will be closed.
You can't get to Wolfgang Puck's when, you know, when it's really bad.
Also a couple of freeze dried Armani suits.
This happens to be one of them.
You keep them in your trunk, just add a little water, and you can go on a meeting, you know.
Even if your agent is, let's say you're late, you can't find your agent.
I've got a little tape recorder with my agent's voice.
What?
Lara Cat?
He won't go on the stage for less than a million.
Just so I feel that my schedule is the same.
Man, I like that.
Less than a million.
I tell you.
You know what?
You do a song for that, don't you?
Yes, you do.
You do a song and you work as long as they want you to.
Have you ever actually been in a real emergency?
Have you ever found yourself in any kind of trouble?
No, not really.
No emergency situation?
Not that really affected us at all.
Although during the earthquake, my wife being the, I mean she's really the one with fortitude in our family.
She was up, had the baby, she was outside, and my son and I, my 16 year old, my 6 year old and I kind of meandered outside into the backyard naked all night.
All of us were at 4.30 in the morning.
To me that constitutes an emergency.
It's a big yard.
Our neighbors can't see us, David.
And naturally being the men we are, the first thing we had to do was go to the bathroom.
That's all we could think about.
You know, you're woken at 4.30 in the morning.
That's your natural tendencies.
My wife's getting blankets and we're standing on the rhododendrons just taking care of business, you know, over the ocean of Malibu.
You, uh, uh, Paul, after the show I want you to speak to his parents.
What was the, we talked before about your beginnings in the radio in New Orleans.
What was the radio station there?
What did you do?
The very first radio station I worked for was just a sort of middle of the road, you know, a lot of Frank music, a lot of Tony music.
This is AM, FM?
This is FM.
But it was in the days when FM really just simulcasted AM station.
And then the late 60s came along and music changed.
And I had listened to some stations in San Francisco when Tom Donahue was working at KSAN.
So we changed the station to.
I don't know Tom Donahue.
He was sort of like the father of underground radio at KSAN in San Francisco.
Oh, Tom Donahue.
I thought you said Phil Donahue.
Forgive me.
He's always been on AM, Phil.
And so we took over the station and played the music that people wanted to hear at the time.
But it was that, you know, you worked in radio I think, didn't you?
Yeah.
For a while.
Our bathroom was on the fourth floor.
Our bathroom was on the fourth floor of the building.
So I blessed the day when Alice's Restaurant came out and when the live version of Inigata De Vita came out.
Because it afforded me the opportunity to run upstairs and get to the bathroom.
You know, I'm detecting a minor theme here in your story.
You know what, I just picked it up too.
And I'm wondering, do you have a good urologist?
Maybe you have a time to have those kidneys taken a look at.
I was thinking that.
John, you stay right there and think about things.
All right.
Do I look like a priest now?
And we'll do a commercial and come back here with John Larroquette.
And you're out of touch.
We've been out of that before, Mel.
Yeah.
Yep.
Oh no, no, no, I understand your concerns, Mel.
I understand them.
No, sure thing.
Sure thing.
Well, I'll tell you what, I'll work on it on the weekend.
No, no, I'll devote the weekend to it and we should be able to come over to something by Monday.
No, I'll go.