June 20, 2001, from Comedy Central's World News headquarters in New York, the birthplace
of news.
This is The Daily Show with John Stewart, the most important television program ever.
AAAAAAYEAHProduction
sauces, Br Cow hurt 2014 Nusrat Neymar campaigns Press Day come in all clouds eight
Welcome to...
You know what I realized as I came in here, I was doing this, you know, and I realized
I don't have a band.
Now that happens.
Welcome to The Daily Show, I'm John Stewart.
Tonight's show is the final one.
Alec Baldwin is going to be joining us here today.
He is, I don't know if you know this, he is the number one seeded Baldwin.
He is the top, he is the top Baldwin.
You got your Alec, who is the number one seed, has been for years, holding his own there.
You got Daniel, a solid pro, working hard, William, and then of course Stephen, who is
trying to play his way back onto the tour.
But he is the number one Baldwin.
There are actually, people don't realize this, 338 Baldwins.
All of them actors.
Yeah.
You know what's funny is when I look like that, not looking at anybody.
It's what I do to watch this.
What it does is it reassures you at home that I'm checking with someone.
So watch, I'll say this.
I have tuberculosis.
Isn't that what I have?
Tuberculosis.
Now I don't really have that, but you can check that.
Why did I think of tuberculosis?
See I did it again.
I did pull my hamstring, which is, here's what I didn't realize.
The older you get, muscles are soft, but when you get older, they can make noise.
Which I didn't realize.
I was running and I pulled it playing softball and it, it was interesting.
It exploded.
Which I didn't think muscles were capable of doing.
And actually talked to me.
Said, no more.
Isn't that what it's?
Lewis Black will also be joining us.
He's got that back in black, which I think we're all quite fond of.
He's by the way, the number one seated Lewis Black on the show today.
But first headlines.
Walmart stores targeted in federal lawsuit.
Target stores Walmarted in nonsensical flip flop joke structure.
It's hard to imagine Walmart as anything other than a fluorescent wonderland where they take
your craving for two pound crackle bars seriously.
But now the mega chain store you've come to depend on is being sued in federal court by
six female employees who say the company engages in widespread sexual discrimination.
Meaning that not only has Walmart been destroying America's mom and pop stores, they've been
slapping mom's ass on the way out.
The spokesman for Walmart denied the charges saying, quote, we don't have policies and
practices in place that promote discrimination of any kind.
Adding toots.
You don't hear that enough toots.
One Walmart employee tells her story and it's anything but a good value.
I received employee of the month twice, employee of the year in 95 and still wasn't promoted.
You know what, lady?
Talk to me when you've been employee of the decade.
You're not the only one who knows where the pet department is.
Oh wait, that's Woolworths.
Did you know Woolworths has a pet department?
I worked in it.
You know, if you clean the fish tanks with Ajax, take them out first.
Actually just an old shot glass I use.
Walmart has not only filed court papers denying the charges, but...