The journey through life is never easy, but for many of us the closing years of the 20th
century are both the most wonderful and the most frightening.
The precious innocence of childhood is being taken away from our kids, and all about us
lurks a violent culture which threatens the core of our innocence as precious and endangered
as mom's old-fashioned apple pie.
According to the U.S. Bureau of Statistics, the average child has watched 8,000 televised
murders and 100,000 acts of violence before finishing elementary school.
It's little wonder that a growing number of parents anguish over how to protect their
children, not just in the streets and schoolyards, but even in their own homes.
This is an ideal little family town north of San Francisco.
Petaluma, California is a place where family dreams come true.
Until that night in 1993 when 11-year-old Polly Class was abducted right out of her
own bedroom in the middle of the night, raped and murdered, while her mom and sister slept
in the next bedroom.
It is little wonder that fear and violence are very much a part of our society.
But danger and risk are everywhere.
Confrontations come in many forms.
It might be school bullies, or something much worse.
Some of us are scared and think that every stranger is danger.
Yet all too often parents assume they live in a safe neighborhood because nothing bad
has ever happened there.
This is Delinda Costa with her three-year-old son, Brian.
They know this shopping mall well, and Delinda feels quite safe here.
She is a careful mother, yet many times she has broken unwittingly the most important
rule all of us should know about protecting small children.
What do you think that rule is?
Watch closely and see how 30 seconds change his lives as you think about the answer.
Boy, I love you.
Dylan made a huge common mistake, which can provide an opportunity for an abductor.
Never leave your child alone.
The Never Be a Victim program began on October 1st, 1991 in this school and in this classroom.
There was great expectation among students because a cop was coming to talk to them about street proofing.
They were about to meet police officer Jim Byrne, an award-winning safety education specialist who was about to catch their imagination in a whole new street proofing concept starting with strangers.
And of course, officer Jim was a stranger to these students.
These special lesson plans have now been shared by thousands of students who discover, as these students did, that a police officer is not just a cop, but a dedicated human being with a duty to serve and protect us all.
Good morning, boys and girls. I'm officer Jim.
Do you tell your children not to talk to strangers? If you do, you may be scaring your child that strangers are bad people.
You see, we are all strangers except to our families, our friends, and our acquaintances.
Kids learn safety better when we identify types of people with the correct words and use our common sense.
Last night when my family sat down to dinner, we talked about those people who take children away from their family against their will and sometimes do bad things to them.
I wonder if you could tell me what you call those people who take children away and sometimes do terrible things to them.
Strangers.
That is not the word I'm looking for. I have never seen any of you before, and you have never seen me before.
We are strangers. Do you think any of us here would take children away and do terrible things to them? I don't think so.
We are all strangers in this world except to our family, our friends, and our acquaintances.
People who take children away are called abductors, and the word abduct is the same as kidnap.
It means stealing a person very often, violently against their wishes.
Most children will never be abducted, but you will feel safer and more confident,
especially if you and your family know and practice my ten rules of street proofing.
Does anyone here know what an abductor looks like? An abductor is a bad person, and I'm going to show you two faces.
I want you to tell me which of these two faces you think is a bad person.
Here is the first face. Here is the second face.
Now both of these people are holding something behind their backs. Take a look at what they are holding.
This person is holding a bunch of flowers. You didn't expect that, did you?
This person is holding a bat with which he could hurt us very badly.
An abductor, maybe young or old, male or female, attractive looking and friendly, or dirty, ugly, and scary.
And one of the first lessons I learned as a police officer was that you cannot tell by people's faces if they are good or bad.
Now let's take a test about risk. Of the following four risks, which one do you think is the least likely to happen?
Being abducted, molested, injured or killed in a dangerous place, or being confronted by a bully.
Statistically, criminal abduction is the least likely to happen.
Separated parents sometimes abduct their own children in custody cases, but they are not strangers, and the life of the child is seldom at risk.
Abduction is usually a parent's greatest fear, yet uncounted children are molested,
and thousands of children in North America are injured or killed in dangerous places every year.
That's why personal safety and street proofing must teach wide-ranging skills, including good communication and learning to be dependable and responsible.
And now, Officer Jim's 10 Rules. These rules help all of us to recognize and avoid the dangers and confrontations of our time.
Go over these rules again and again and test each other about how they work.
A young child alone is defenseless against danger. Never leave your child alone at home, at a shopping mall or in a park.
A child should never be left alone in a car. The risks are just too great.
It is your responsibility to make sure your child is supervised and protected until that child is mature enough and trained to recognize and avoid dangerous situations.
Your babysitter must be a competent person. References are essential from parents whom you personally know and respect.
Advise the babysitter of your family rules and the security of your home.
Always leave a phone number where you may be reached. In an emergency, make sure your babysitter understands how to call police, fire or ambulance.
And finally, call your babysitter at least once each time your child is in their car to check that all is in order.
You must take enough time each day to talk with your family and listen to what they say. Ask them to share with you the most pleasant experiences they've had that day and to share any bad experiences.
Let your boy or girl talk. Don't choose any put-downs. Be calm and work for an open relationship in the family.
When your child realizes you're always willing to listen fairly and calmly, this should grow up without being afraid or ashamed to share anything with you or ask you any question.
We have all had problems with our families using the telephone. Without training, many people abuse the privilege of using it.
The telephone is the vital link in an emergency. A family member might be trying to phone home only to be turned away by a busy signal.
Teach your family the proper use of emergency numbers for police, fire or ambulance. A burglar breaking into your home, fire of any kind, gas leaking into the house, a terrible accident or a serious injury.
These are real emergencies. A missing bicycle, for example, is not a real emergency. Keep a list of emergency numbers close to the telephone.
Everyone should memorize these numbers, which will save time should an emergency arise anywhere.
Always tell your family where you are going, whom you will be with and when you will be home. If you have not returned when you said you would, your family are first on alert.
Second, they will go and look for you. And third, they will try and find a person whom you said you were going to see.
If for any reason you might be late, phone your mom or dad and tell them. But practice being on time. Dependable and responsible people are safer people.
You know what I mean by dangerous places. Do not play in deserted buildings. The building itself might be dangerous and you might be charged with trespassing.
Play in familiar areas. Play with friends because if you get hurt and need help, a friend can go for help.
Isolated places like vacant lots or back alleys may not be safe and you never know who might be hiding.
Avoid unfamiliar shortcuts. What if something happened? Your family would not know where to look for you and you may need help urgently.
Expressways and railway tracks are very dangerous places. To walk in such places is against the law and you could be killed instantly.
Rivers, lakes or the seashore, especially after a storm or heavy rain, can be very dangerous.
Embankments sometimes cave in and deep fast water can sweep you away and no one can save you.
In winter, stay off frozen rivers and lakes because the ice could break and you could die. Don't play in sewers. Gases you may not see or smell can poison you.
I'm sure if your family team takes a walk together through your community as a project, you could show each other many dangerous places to stay away from.
Make a list of them and discuss these places at a family meeting. Learn to respect the sign that spell out the word D-A-N-G-E-R danger.
How would you feel if someone in your family took a chance in a dangerous place and was killed?
Can you tell by people's faces if they are good or bad? Look at these faces. Which one is a good person? Which one is a bad person?
You cannot tell by people's faces if they are good or bad. So when you're out on the street or in the park, don't get too close to people whom you do not know.
If a stranger gets friendly and wants to give you some kind of gift or money, don't accept it. Be polite and say no thank you.
If they ask you to keep it a secret, tell your family or your teacher such a person may want you to do something you should not do in exchange for money or some kind of present.
Being alert and aware makes us safer people.
What would you do if you were out somewhere and someone was following you?
The first thing to do is to get out of danger. Go to the nearest store or home and tell an adult you're being followed or afraid.
Just being with an adult may discourage anyone following you. Ask your mom or dad about block parents. Find out if they're in your neighborhood.
This is a block parent sign and if those block parents are at home, the sign will be in the window and it will quickly and safely help you.
There's important information people need to know when they're helping you and I'm surprised how many people do not know all these things.
Your home phone number, your dad or mom's work number, make sure you know your address, the name of the street you live on, the number of your house or apartment.
A person can help you more quickly if they know these details.
Too many children have been abducted this way and abductors may use all kinds of tricks to get children into cars or vans. An abductor might use the picture of a little girl and pretend to be looking for her.
A person whom you do not know may ask directions about a street nearby. If you know the address, tell the person politely but never under any circumstances go near to that vehicle.
If you feel there is anything suspicious, tell your mom or dad, your teacher or a police officer. It is always better to be safe than sorry.
Be very careful of the stranger who knows your name and perhaps tells you they know your mom or dad. Remember Joe and Caroline?
Caroline had never been talked about a family cold word. A cold word is an excellent technique to identify a person sent by her mom or dad under special circumstances.
An abductor would not know that cold word and if you were confronted by such a person who could not give you that private family cold word, you would immediately be aware of the danger and go to the school office or to a responsible adult and the police would be called.
Whatever word you choose as a cold word should be an easy family word to use and remember and it should be changed from time to time. Don't tell friends about your cold word. Keep it private and secure within your family.
Now there is one other thing I want to tell you about getting into cars or vans. A neighbor, friend or relative may invite you to go with them somewhere in their car. Never get into a car with anyone without first asking your mom or dad.
Just tell that person about the family rule and get permission first.
I met this very cute guy. Did you? Yes. You always meet some kind of cute guy driving me up the wall. Let's have some fun. Yeah.
Oh well we gotta go. Okay. Bye. Bye.
Okay. Don't forget.
If someone tries to take you away, scream, this is not my dad or mom. Kick the person by their hand or leg. Try to lie down flat to make it as difficult for the person to get you away as possible.
If you have school books or other things, drop them on the street. If a van or a car is involved, do everything in your power to prevent the abductor putting you into the vehicle. Scream at the top of your voice to attract attention.
Help me. I am being abducted. Police. Help me. Help me. Now watch and listen closely and I'll show you exactly what I mean.
Excuse me. Yes. I was wondering if you could help me. We're over here somewhere right? I'm looking for John Street. Can you tell me where that would be on here?
Help. Help. Help. Help. Police. I'm being abducted. He's not my father. Help. Help me. Help.
Help. Police. I'm being abducted. He's not my father. Help. Police. Help me.
Have your parents talked to you about touching? We all touch. If I shake my friend's hand, that is a good touch. If someone hits me, that is a bad touch.
But there are other bad touches we must know about. Your body belongs to you. And without good reason, nobody has the right to touch your private parts.
Private parts are the parts of your body your bathing suit covers when we go swimming. Your penis or your vagina are private parts.
And no one should ever touch those parts of your body without good reason, such as a doctor giving you a medical examination.
If you feel embarrassed in any way by any touch, even if it feels good, you have the right to say no, get away and tell someone.
Your mom or dad, a family member, a close friend, your teacher or a police officer are the proper people to tell.
Those are my ten rules of street proofing. Knowledge is strength. Be a dependable and responsible member of your family team and never be a victim.
So how do you think you would do if you had a test right now on Officer Jim's Ten Rules?
Let's visit a classroom and see how the students have been doing.
Remember, students do much more than just watch a video. They do a walking tour around the school area to make a map of dangerous places and safe places.
They each make rule number 11, which applies to specific needs in their family or in their community.
They have classroom discussions and debates on shared dangerous experiences about their lives.
Watch how they handle a verbal test about the rules.
If someone's following you, you don't show them that you're afraid. You just keep walking.
And if there's a nearby house, you're a neighbor or a block parent, you should go there.
If you don't know what color the block parent sign is, it's red and white and it says block parent on it.
You need to be taught telephone skills because it is very important. And if you leave your child alone at home and the phone rings,
you should say that my parents are busy and I'll tell them to call you back. I just need your number.
Say you want to go to a friend's or somewhere. You have to tell your mom what time you'll be home.
And if you're going to be late, you should always call home and say, like, Mom, don't get worried because I was a little late.
And then someone comes, right, and they ask you where this place is and they come really close to you and they grab you.
You have to scream very loud, kick, bite, scratch, do anything you can.
Roll yourself up, put yourself on the ground, and you have to say, this help, this is not my mom or dad. I'm being abducted or kidnapped.
Hi, I'm doing good touching, bad touching, know the difference.
And you should know the difference because any part that is covered by your bathing suit, you shouldn't be touched by.
And if you do, you should tell your teacher, your mother, your dad, or one of your neighbors.
So it's a fantastic way to street proof your child.
I think safety is a lifelong learning process. You can never stop learning too much.
We could feel more confident maybe walking home, which most of us do, because it's a very close-knit community.
And it just gives us the confidence that we know what to do in a pressure situation when a split second could mean the difference between other being abducted or actually life and death.
Well, now you know why a little lecture and a set of rules will not prepare us for the dangers and confrontations of our society
unless we are prepared to work and to practice and to make it part of our lives on an ongoing basis because this subject is as big as life itself.
What if you're being abducted and you don't want to scream or yell because, like, they have a gun at your head or a knife at your back? What would you do?
If I've been touched and embarrassed about it, how would I go about telling someone it would be very difficult for me?
Can you tell me what signs to look for if my child is being molested?
In our upcoming programs, these and many other questions will be answered in Officer Jim's community forum involving students, teachers, and parents who have made Officer Jim their safety hero.
Our next volume will deal with a parent's greatest fear, abduction.
Caroline! Caroline!
Hi, Tuminko. How are you? Hi. Where's Caroline? A friend picked her up and took her home. Which friend?
I don't know. It was a man. He was tall and had brownish curly hair.
It was the worst feeling that ever went over me in my whole life. It was, uh, I just said, you know, it just can't be her. It just can't be.
If anybody is holding her to release her, Nicole would be 15 the 1st of April.
It's a long time. It's part of you that is dying and you live constantly in fear, not knowing.
It's the worst thing is what happened. Is she alive? Is she dead? That's the worst thing is not knowing.
Abduction can be prevented, and the Never Be a Victim program provides clear and common sense strategies for ongoing training as you build your family team for safety.
Many schools now teach the Never Be a Victim program as part of their curriculum and of the full home study program complete with a video and a parent guide available to borrow from the school library.
Make sure your school is a Never Be a Victim school. I am Robert Gordon.
Dread softly. Here lies a dream of childhood innocence. Only love can redeem of laughter and teardrops and what might have been.
Come with me. You need not fear it. For what good? What good has God served?
If you are not clear, Dread softly.
Come and see. You need not fear it. For what good? What good has God served?
If you are not clear, Dread softly. Here lies a dream of what might have been.
If you are not clear, Dread softly.
Dread softly.