You're watching NBC 10.
You're watching NBC, America's late night leader.
From the NBC studios in Burlack, The Tonight Show with Jerry Ueno.
Featuring Kevin Newbanks and The Tonight Show man, and me, I'm Ed Hall.
Tonight, Jerry welcomes Jerry Seinfeld.
A special mystery guest.
And the music of brandy.
And now, Jerry Ueno.
Welcome.
Thank you very much. As you know, tonight...
Tonight, of course, is a...
Next question.
Tonight, of course, is a very big night in television.
Let's do a little survey.
How many of you watched the season finale of Promise Land, huh?
Yeah, yeah. Oh, boy.
As you know, tonight was the big final episode of Seinfeld, of course.
And Jerry, of course, big believer in going out while you're on top,
which is also President Clinton's philosophy.
I was shocked.
I was shocked how the Seinfeld show ended.
I had no idea that Darth Vader was Jerry's father.
It's amazing, you know, because you watch it and think,
no, it couldn't be me.
And of course, with Jerry on the show tonight, and our big mystery guest,
you know, we had to do a triple security.
You know, normally...
Well, here, here's our security. We normally have...
Hold on. We put on a couple more guys.
Just to be sure.
And here's Jerry with News 6.
We have the Big Ten.
That's nice.
You know what's so funny, boy?
You realize just what a show business town this is.
I'm reading the paper this morning,
and on the front page of the L.A. paper,
the front page says,
Count down to Seinfeld, Jerry's last show.
Then there's another article about
Jason Alexander getting some big movie deal.
And this is true.
Right on the bottom of the page, in little tiny letters,
57! I go, oh, geez, somebody's got atomic weapons. Oh, and good news for the CIA, I guess today they finally located India on the map.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So good for them, yeah, good for them.
Wow, good for them. Well, I guess, as you may know, Congress is furious that the CIA, our spy network, the biggest spy network in the world,
didn't know anything about India sending off these atomic weapons. In fact, they said it was the worst failure of intelligence in Washington since Dan Quayle was sworn in.
It's amazing.
I guess India has, uh, yeah, well, I guess India's really shown that they can put the bomb in Bombay, huh? Yeah.
Right now, Gandhi's going, yeah, let's kick ass, take names, yeah.
Isn't Mother Teresa from there? Isn't Gandhi from there? See, I don't know why everyone's so surprised that India has figured out how to split the atom.
That's relatively easy, actually. See what I want to know? How do they do that rope trick where it comes up out of the guy in the, huh?
See, that's splitting the atom. That seems easy. Actually, watch out.
Actually, I know how they do it. You know how they do the rope trick where they get the rope to stand up? You know how they do it? Viagra.
Viagra.
Actually, the big problem now with this Viagra, you know, the anti-impedance pill, a lot of people don't know how to classify it. Is it a drug? They don't know whether to call it a vitamin.
You know, considering what most women say men think with, I think brain food might actually be a pretty good thing.
You know what's interesting? Farmers just down in Mexico are making a fortune on Viagra because American men are going down there to buy it because it's 80% cheaper.
Apparently, they don't need to do all the paperwork so they can sell it 80% cheaper, which sounds like a disaster to me, doesn't it?
I mean, taking a Viagra pill, then washing it down with a glass of Mexican water, huh?
You thought impotence was embarrassing.
Viagra and Mexican water, you got one half pulling your body towards the bedroom, the other pulling towards the bathroom. Hey, hey, hey, hey!
You know, where do you go with some of this? No! Actually, today.
Today, health officials issued a warning with Viagra. They say women, listen to this, women, if you sleep with a man who's on Viagra, you're not only sleeping with him,
you're sleeping with every woman he didn't sleep with for the past eight years.
So don't go, just go nuts with this stuff. Something to keep in mind.
And it was this week in 1940 that Britain's Winston Churchill in his first speech as Prime Minister told the House of Commons,
I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears, and sweat.
See, remember those days when blood, tears, and sweat were the only bodily fluids a politician had to offer?
Remember those days? You see, you know, it's not like that. You see what I'm saying? You see what I'm saying? Those were the days.
Well, I guess this just in from Germany, White House Press Secretary Mike McCurry says,
President Clinton has seriously wrenched his back. I guess it happened the usual way, you know, trying to move two directions at once.
And apparently that, you know, you do that and it's going to happen. Well, that's what happens.
Oh, did you see that picture of the baby? I said, of President Clinton kissing his dog, Buddy, on the mouth. Did you see that?
Well, now something. When I first saw it, I thought, oh, Clinton's hitting on Paula Jones again.
Here we go again.
Oh, here's something interesting. Cruise line operators report that hundreds of passengers are climbing up to the bow of cruise ships
to recreate that scene with Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio. Remember that? In front of the Titanic thing?
And you know Frank Gifford? He's just waiting for a chance to try this with Cassie Lee and one of those, you know, one of those carnival crews,
think, don't worry, honey, I got you. Oh, I'm flying. That's right, honey. You are flying. Oh, I'm flying.
Goodbye, honey.
And what a, ooh, ooh, ooh. Today, two important anniversaries. No one will get this.
See, with all the Seinfeld things, you've forgotten about Gabriel Fahrenheit.
Gabriel Fahrenheit, the inventor of the mercury thermometer, was born on this date in 1686.
And also, was also on this date in 1878 that Vaseline was invented.
So, thermometers existed 200 years before Vaseline. That was a very painful 200 years.
Let me tell you, let me tell you that. Ow, ow, ow.
Folks, we have, we have got a, Kev, this is our big night, our big show with Jerry and I, where's that, where's that home?
Oh, don't you know what happened to him through the opening announcement?
No, I was busy preening in the mirror. I didn't, I didn't see what preening in the mirror.
I was preening in the mirror, getting ready for the spectrum. You know, what happened?
Oh, you should go get the security camera footage, man.
You got footage of what happened? Yeah, Alan, you want to roll that?
Alan, roll the security camera. What, what is this?
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, featuring Kevin Eubanks and the Tonight Show band. And me, I'm Ed Hall.
You Ed Hall? Well, duh.
You're under arrest. What? Hey, hey.
You have the right to remain silent. I can't remain silent. I'm the announcer.
Hey, fellas. Oh.
What? Ed's been arrested? Yeah, man. I think it has something to do with that stupid dog he's hanging out with.
This dog? Yeah.
I can't let him languish in a jail cell. He'll just become somebody's boy toy or something.
No, no, no. He's my boy toy. Wait, I've got to go.
Hang on. Can you enter? I'm going to go down to the police precinct and just see what this is.
Alan, turn on the camera outside. I'll be right back. Excuse me.
It was an accident, Detective Murtaugh. I didn't mean to do it.
An accident? You take a shot of me and you call it an accident?
Hey, Rick, you hear that? Yeah, wait a minute, pal. I mean, you shoot at our tires, we crash into a bus stop.
And we flip over twice and sideswipe a limo. Yeah, yeah, carrying Charles Nelson right.
And we power into the dark bookstore, selling off our airbags. Yeah, plus 24 inflatable dollars.
And you call it an accident? Well, yeah. Yeah?
Ed, are you okay? Oh, man. You're never going to believe this. Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Don't I know you guys? Rick, didn't we pull him over once for speeding?
No, no, Roger. I think I would have remembered the chin.
Anyway, your pal here shot at my car. What?
Jay, I've been trying to tell these guys. I was sitting on my porch cleaning my gun.
I put it down for a second and my dog Butch accidentally stepped on the trigger and went off.
You've got to come up with a better one than that, Ed. Yeah, please, please.
It's the truth, Jay. Look out, now he's near the car.
Hey, get out of the way. Let's see how good Butchie Boy is. Come on, take your best shot there, fella. Come on, come on.
Hit the deck!
This dog couldn't have hit anybody as a lousy shot.
Look. Let's go, buddy.
Hey, what about my dog? I'll take care of your dog, Ed.
These his biscuits here? No, they're mine. They prevent tartar.
Come on.
We've got a great show for you tonight.
My first guest has been in the news just a little bit the last week. You may have read about his show's final episode.
He is here tonight before he flies off to his fortress of solitude, Jerry Seinfeld.
Our very first mystery guest. We've been trying to get this guy for like five years and we've had a lot of fun trying to...
people trying to figure out who it is and getting calls all day.
And a terrific 19-year-old Grammy-winning singer, Brandy, will perform as well.
We'll be right back with Jay walking right after this. Say hello to Kevin Eubanks and the tonight's show is man.
That's not happiness to see me, is it? He was waiting for me.
He knows. You did not meet my wife by chance.
What are you saying? It's a con and my wife is a grand prize.
My what? You got a box big enough to hold half a million dollars.
For? Killing my wife.
That's not happiness to see me, is it?
A perfect murder, rated R. Starts Friday, June 5th at a theater near you.
Got your Bud Light? You can't hit my friend.
Let's go. I'm thirsty.
For the great taste that will fill you up and never let you down.
Looks like you're buying. Make it a Bud Light.
Coach is calling for the heat.
This Friday, the sky will be dark because the stars are at the 25th anniversary of the Daytime Emmy Awards live.
25 years of excitement. Oh baby.
Friday, the 25th annual Daytime Emmy Awards live on NBC.
Then, News 10 at 11 takes you behind the scenes of the Daytime Emmy Awards.
See which stars were best dressed.
Hear the big winners who stole the night.
News 10 Sheila Allen-Stevens reports live behind the scenes tomorrow on News 10 at 11.
They say let our family help your family.
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The big movie of the box office right now is this deep impact where a comet smashes into the earth.
Well next month they've got another one.
This Armageddon, you know, this Bruce Willis one.
That's going to be another huge hit.
But the audiences go to see science fiction films.
They know what they're looking at.
Does the average person know the difference between a comet and a planet?
What galaxy do we live in?
Milky Way.
That's an easy question, isn't it?
We're going down to Melrose Avenue right here in Hollywood.
Talk to people.
We ask you, do they go to these science fiction films?
Do they know what they're looking at?
Do they know this simple question?
Do they know what's in our solar system?
Here's what they had to say.
Fly me to the moon.
Let me play among the stars.
What is our galaxy called?
Galaxy 500.
No, that's a Ford car.
And you guys are graduating high school this week?
No, it's June 16.
June 16.
So you should know a lot of stuff.
We know a lot.
What is our galaxy called?
I am...
It's also a candy bar.
What is our galaxy called?
Ah, no, I'm sorry.
That's wrong.
I don't remember.
Okay, let me give you a hint.
It's the name of a candy bar.
Babe Ruth.
The Babe Ruth.
Yes, it's the Babe Ruth galaxy.
How many planets are there in our solar system?
There's like, what, 12 to 50?
I don't know.
12 to 50 is quite a ring.
How many planets are there in our solar system?
I'll have to say 100.
I don't know.
Did I hear you just graduated college?
I did, but I didn't study astronomy.
How many planets are there in our solar system?
Oh, I want to say 12.
Seven?
How do you say no in German?
Da.
Da?
I don't know German.
No, nine.
Nine? Oh, I was close.
How many planets are there?
Nine.
All right, what's your name?
Eugene.
Eugene, you're from Chicago.
Chicago, the Bulls.
That's right, which is in Chicago?
Which constellation is the Bulls?
Uh, you got me.
There's a car named after it, the Ford.
Oh, uh, the Mustang.
What do you do for a living?
I'm a developer at the Adler Planetarium.
Oh, so you work in a planetarium?
This is perfect.
Which of our planets is furthest from the sun?
Jupiter.
I mean, uh, the, the, the, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto.
What planet is furthest from the sun?
Venus.
Mars.
All right, what's the name of Mickey Mouse's dog?
Goofy.
Okay, which of the following is not a constellation?
X-Men.
Sammy the Bull, Aries the Ram, Scorpius the Scorpion.
Scorpius the Scorpion?
No, it'd be Sammy the Bull.
Sammy the Bull, okay, no, God.
Okay, which of the following is not a constellation?
Aries the Ram, Sammy the Bull, Scorpius the Scorpion.
The middle one.
Which one?
Do you agree?
Sammy the Bull.
Who's Sammy the Bull?
Sounds like a beanie baby.
A beanie baby?
You use a real beanie baby.
What is a comet exactly?
A comet is a burning star which, uh, due to the physics, when it's revolving, um, it blows
up and, and it's, it's, in our case, coming towards the Earth.
And it could, and it's, can, it's, uh.
What did you say?
According to the physics, it's revolving?
Yeah, it's doing, uh, a circular motion in space.
Yeah.
And then, uh, it reaches, uh, too high of a barometric pressure.
And then.
Barometric pressure in space?
And then, uh, it gets really hot and, and.
Do you have any idea what you're talking about?
Well, it's been a while since I've had physics.
Uh-uh.
How many miles away is the moon?
Oh, I learned this.
Go ahead.
It's something to a power.
Times ten to the something.
No, no.
How many miles does it go?
You always have these, how many miles is it?
I'm getting close.
Where do stars go in the daytime?
Now, you're a college graduate.
You just graduated in college.
Stars go in the daytime.
They're underneath us because the sun's shining.
Stars go underneath us?
Hey, which is bigger, the sun or the moon?
The moon.
At which point?
At this point?
Which is bigger, the sun or the moon?
Hm.
Could be a trick question.
Which moon, which moon?
We have a lot of them.
We only have one moon.
Not us personally, but...
I'm not talking about, I'm not talking about Rydel VII or Star Trek IX.
Our moon, which is bigger, the sun or the moon?
Hm.
The sun's light radius or the actual moon.
Which is bigger, physically bigger, the sun or the moon?
I would say the moon.
Yeah, because I think it's a trick question.
Yeah, I would say the moon.
Your answer is the moon.
The moon is bigger than the sun.
Hooray.
Yeah!
You can't go wrong.
We'll be right back with Jerry Seinfeld right after this.
Comments are still hitting for her.
Time Magazine says Deep Impact is a disaster movie that's believable.
It's excellent.
Gene Schallet calls it intelligent with tension and heart-squeezing emotion.
This movie has involved.
And the New York Times reads Deep Impact special effects are elaborate and impressive.
Four stars.
Deep Impact.
Rated PG-13.
Now playing in theaters everywhere.
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You can rationalize it all you want, but eventually you're going to get caught.
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Jerry's Time, fellas, on the way out.
Our mystery guest is here as well.
I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at our mystery guest.
It's not a joke, big time mystery guest.
Any other night, it'll be a huge guest.
And of course, Brandy will perform as well.
It's a good show tonight.
Earlier this evening, you watched my first guest star in the very last episode of what
has become probably the biggest show, certainly one of the biggest shows in the history of
television, the one and the only, my old friend Jerry Seinfeld.
Yeah.
That's right.
all right
Thank you
They think you're a springer
Let me add to something I'll do one more season come on
Oh
No, it's too late it's too late
Well, let's get right to it now, okay
Hang on. All right. Let's get you got the you got the biggest show on TV
Critical success critical rating success rating success huge dough
You quit you're on your top of the game
What the hell were you thinking?
Jay I was driving down Sunset. She looked 18
I was just giving her a lift
Well prostitutes need lips
Prospect can get where they need to go now
You know, I was thinking about this because we've known each other more than 20 years more than 20 years
Yeah, and we used to see each other every day now in the nine years
I've probably seen you 12 times in nine years writing producing directing starring in the show. Yeah, are you tired?
I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted. In fact and after
This I'm going on a tour. I'm going to Australia
And to to Europe to start doing stand-up comedy again, and I feel that I need
Some kind of break from being funny
I have been funny
every day
For nine years
That's exhausted
Well, he I was funny, you know when we're writing you have to be funny when you're acting you have to be funny
Sure, and before I go out on the tour, I feel that I need a break and I so I thought maybe today I
Could take a little funny rest. Do you want to I would like to not be funny
For one day. Well, that's all right. No, that's fine. That's fine. You can take you certainly intend blue break
Can I ask a couple of questions? You can ask me anything you want, but I know just not no
I'm not gonna talk about being fun. I'm tired of being funny. You know, I can understand that
I know you you you fly on planes a lot, right?
You fly yeah, yeah, I fly on planes
Let me ask you something about flying you have any experiences flying that really annoying
You know, I'm talking about the sticks in your crown
Yeah, I guess when you fly things that irritate you yeah
I mean, what are some things that would irritate you? I'm curious to see if this simul-
I'm trying to take a rest
No, no, yeah, I'm just asking
Well, I hate when the pilots come on the PA system and they tell you we're going over this we're going over that
Why don't they just shut up and drive?
Please people, please
Do I go knocking on the cockpit door saying am I telling him what I'm doing we're eating the peanuts now
No, I'm trying to rest
I really don't know I can understand talk about something will change it forget forget airplane
I know when you do a show like you is a lot of a lot of commercials, right?
Yeah, this commercial
Yeah, this commercial when you're on network TV, there's a lot of commercials on you just you can't help but see them, right?
No, you can't you can't help but see commercials. Yeah. Well, let me ask you this
Are there any commercials that just really annoy you? You know what I'm saying?
You don't want to just kind of stick. Well, I guess there's a few
I mean some of them are pretty stupid. Don't you think I don't know can I can't can you think of the ginsu knife commercial?
Do you need a knife that can cut through a shoe and a can?
I
I'm trying to rest
I will look well forget that. All right, forget that like when you want to relax
What do you do? I think I read you were
Did you go skydiving? I did go skydiving. That seems exciting. Was there anything odd about that?
He won't let me rest
Well, I don't understand why skydivers wear helmets
Yeah, I mean, I mean can you almost make it
I think if you jump out of that plane and the chute doesn't open the helmet is now wearing you
You're protecting the helmet now later on the helmets talking with the other helmets going it's a good thing
He was there. I would have hit the ground directly
I would have hit the ground
Why don't you take a little break you relax for a minute or so
We'll take a little break so you can relax. Thank you more with jerry right after this be right back
Bob joe gatti want you to know where we are in this deal. Oh leo joe gatti clear across america
The one name people still rely on is cellular warning
Instead. Yeah. Okay, dad. You can use the phone now. Oh, okay. Thanks, honey
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Hey jerry when you finish the show come on over. I made two
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Yes, if strange ends rated r starts may 22nd
Tonight on conan everyone will be watching can I watch conan on your tv plus all these shows of age rossi o'donnell and from
Seinfeld patrick puddy warburton so don't change that dial
Tonight on later with rita sever olympic gold medal skiers johnny mosley and eric for gust show rita the basics
Uh, what's below the basics tonight?
18 the tire guy says four tires for 79 dollars. I say what kind are they he says
That's a very good question only avalino's gives you out the door pricing no extras ever
The tire guy says you're getting them for wholesale. I say what about all the extras? Those are wholesale too
Sure, only avalino's gives you out the door pricing no extras ever the tire guy says tire disposals extra
What do you want us to do with your old tires extra?
So I told him where to put them only avalino's gives you out the door pricing no extras ever
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Picky protective quick to judge she said
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Of the exclusive earth watch flyby only on news 10
All righty talking with uh
Jerry seinfeld look actually besides being comedy look that's comedy history. Is that yes it is show those right these are uh
These are george bern's cufflinks. Yeah, you see the to see the gb and the hundred
Yeah
Well, let me ask you a question now
Seriously now, I mean everybody's been teasing you. I mean, how does it feel now?
You you don't go to work. The set is kind of busted up everybody's I mean they've cleared everything out
I mean, I mean, are you sad? Do you feel sad? No, I feel I i'm really first of all
I am amazed by what has been going on
The past week. I mean, can you imagine?
What it's been like for me?
I mean, i'm sick of myself
I mean, this is like I know I mean I love the show nobody loves the show more than me
But the the excitement and i'm and it's really only now that i'm realizing
What how how many people the the show touched and how many that they liked it, you know, and that's all it was ever
Have you uh, but it was uh, you know
I i'm really just amazingly lucky person that I got involved with the people that I got involved with
Jason and julia and michael and larry david and there were so many
Yeah
Because uh, there was one night I always think back on when we were shooting the episode the parking garage
Do you remember the one where we got lost in the
And it was a very difficult show to shoot we we actually built that
That garage on our set we took out all the sets and we plastered the walls and put up mirrors and we
We faked the whole thing and it was really difficult
And we didn't really have an end to the show
And we were walking it was like three o'clock in the morning
We were doing the last shot where we all get back in the kramer's car and he turns the key and the car doesn't start
Which was not in the script
And if you ever see the episode you can see the three of us
We were laughing because we realized that this is the perfect ending to the episode
And I think we always had that little bit of
Magical fortune with the show. I mean it had a great
Just a great streak and I didn't want to take it beyond that point because I felt that we were
Just less than lucky to be doing something that came out so good
Right now have you saved anything from i've saved everything. Yeah, you take everything
I I have everything I have the entire set because I am the only character that is going to continue on
Well, that's right, yeah, you know
I am still I am still having episodes
In my actual it's my real life. So so I thought if I ever needed that set if I wanted to do a show I could do it
Well, how about like the smithsonian did they I mean, how do they have archie bunker's chair?
Yeah, did they contact you the smithsonian did contact us?
But the smithsonian doesn't guarantee what they're gonna do with it. So i'm picturing like that last scene of raiders of the lost ark
Huge thing
So I want to make sure it's on display somewhere so I'm holding on to it until I can find a place that people will see it
Now, how about how about mom? How's mom? How's mom do I mom in a while? She's great. She's going nuts over this
She excited no, my mom is not going nuts. My mom is cool. I think that's where I got it from. Yeah
She does not get overexcited
But uh, and but she doesn't really understand either. I know what's going on
When we were shooting this last episode we had a scene that took place in a little town in massachusetts
So she said, uh, well, are you going to take the whole crew to massachusetts and the actors?
I don't know. They just build a set and then we shoot it there
And then I tell her i'm thinking of taking a vacation in hawaii. She says why go to hawaii?
You know, they have places in la
That they've built to look just like hawaii
So for the show she wants me to travel for my real life. She wants me to go to a set
Well, I always remember uh
There was
There was nothing funnier to me than I remember you got your mom a new car like a mercedes or something
And she and these three other girls were all like 80. Yeah driving across the country
Yeah, and they showed up at the improv. They were like it's like thumb and louise
Remember that the mother was smiling. She's popping with these other two girls. They're all like 80
It was they were 80 years old. Well, they're still 80
And they got stopped for speeding in texas doing 80
And I thought it seems like you should be able to go your age, you know what I mean?
If you could live that long they should let you drive that fast
Yes
Are you really going to hawaii on a vacation I was thinking of going to hawaii. Yes, jay
Oh, you're not gonna go to hawaii. No, i'm not going to hawaii. I don't know what what i'm afraid of getting a tan
Because i've never seen anyone funny and tan
So i'm a little worried about that well now i'm gonna you're moving to new york yes
Yes, now you you you bought an apartment, right? Yeah, I bought a apartment but in new york
You know you go into these buildings and you have to be approved to live there by the board
No, no, who is this board exactly? Well, I don't know who they are
But they if they have to like you and here I am doing this show and I got 30 million people a week that say
They like it and now I got these eight people that are going to decide all over again
So like, you know, you dress up in a suit and tie and I go in there
And they're like, what am I doing here? You know, it's like yeah, it's like a job interview to live
And then i'm thinking and
This in this type of building there's only two apartments on each floor. So you don't bump into anyone in the hallway
It's just really the space from the elevator to the front door, which is about 20 feet. So here I am in an interview
To see if I can make that experience in the lobby when we pass a good experience
Thanks
What what do they want from me? You know what I mean? Hi. Hi. All right. He's good. Let's get him in the building
Now let's practice that walkway once again
Well, i'm very proud of you old buddy. Thanks, you know, you know, you know, i'm most proud of you've always stayed
A stand-up we all started a stand-up comedian other guys go up and do things and and you still did that
And I know you're going off to do this hbo special and everything else. So god bless you buddy. You had a great ride
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Alrighty
It's time for the mystery guest. He is the editor in chief of this fine magazine george
The nation's largest political magazine
Uh here in the editor george have a new book out just came out today the book of political lists very funny very interesting
Please welcome john f kennedy jr
Well, thanks for coming
Uh
We we try to keep it a mystery here, so you did a very good job. Thank you
Thank you for coming out. I I know you don't usually do these kind of shows so it's a thrill to have you here now
I know you're a new yorker jerry's moving to new york any uh chips
There's this great suit place
How is the service
He's he's a ill-tempered kind of i'll check it out
Let me add I gotta tell you I you you've
My judgment in following mr. Seinfeld on the biggest night in tv
Uh, they always tell you in politics. You gotta watch who you follow. So I don't know what I was thinking
It's a great honor to be here. Well, it's an honor to have you this night. Yeah
Let me now you were once you know, you weren't on seinfeld but you were portrayed right my elbow. I think it was
Yeah, yeah, we had the you were in the famous contest episode. Yeah, well, that's right with the very idea
It's funny because I I
I hadn't seen the episode and I come out of my house in the morning
and
Everyone is like yelling across the street and i'm walking to work
You know, I was a district attorney then and people are driving by in their cars and honking. I'm going what what what the hell is going on here?
So I walk in and you know every as people start to say, oh, you know, I saw you last night
Were you on seinfeld? We're on sign. I said no. No, what was everyone talking about?
so they explained it and then I I had a trial and I walk I walk into the court and
The defendant is sitting there over there and he goes you were on seinfeld
And I was like no no i'm on seinfeld he leans over his lawyer and he goes
The guy's an actor too. No wonder he failed the bar exam
Can we go back a second did you say you hadn't seen
It was the only one
But I got it paid back so the office was very kind to send it on
Uh, now you've been obviously around politics your whole life. Do you think you will ever run?
Would you ever run? Is that something people always well, you know other than people asking me were you on jerry seinfeld?
So that is the second most frequently asked question. Um, uh, you know, I i'm being an editor of a political magazine
You're you're you're able to be uh in politics without really being in politics, right?
So it's like like being the vice president, I guess
Yeah
I have a great time doing that and we all know that politics is a tough profession these days, but
Um, I think a very rewarding one. Well, the magazine is terrific. I know, uh,
I look through it because it gives me great ideas for jokes. Really? Well, I like it because
I mean sometimes you read political magazines. It's all sort of
You're very dry, right?
Whereas you guys always come at it from a funny angle which kind of sparks right and you always do interesting covers you always have
People playing. Yeah, like you had who was dennis robin. What political figure was he? No, no charles barkley. Oh, Berkeley
That's what he was george washington george washington and uh,
harrison ford was uh abraham lincoln right and uh,
Howard stern was george washington. Well, there you go, which there was a remarkable similarity there and uh,
Uh, I mean we've always actually been you know trying for to get you on the cover to do you think so? Yeah, who would I yeah?
Well, actually I think we have
We happen to have one. Is this oh, I would I'd love to do who do you who would I think it's very
Oh, that's lovely. Has anyone seen this? It's uh, I see that's
And i'm a handsome woman very busty apparently i'm a
Very very busty woman, but now we're busting people's pictures. Let me ask you something because I know
In your life, I always see you you always seem very dignified and avoid this and avoid that
And one day I opened george and there was a picture of you naked
In your own magazine right show we have the picture show that you are right there now
How do you know he's naked I can't tell if he's
He looks like he's wearing shorts
And running and running shoes. No, no, he could have a very small tuxedo on
All right, you might not be wearing pants exactly no one knows that now were you naked in the photo
I wasn't actually I was I had I was wearing pants and and shoes you would have perhaps had newt gingrich, uh,
nude from the
Shoulders down. I don't think anybody wants to see that
Yeah, no it wasn't it was you know, everyone always says that no one reads editors letters. Um, and
They read that one. So what are you gonna say?
It worked for the time being but now what is the monica lawinsky's poem that is in here explain this
Um, do we have to I guess we should we should what we um, we happen to have someone who sent us
Um monica lawinsky's poem that she wrote in ninth grade actually not not in ninth grade when she was a nine-year-old
And I I know i'm going to rot in hell eternally for this but but I can I maybe just give it a sample
Yeah, give a sample. Okay. Um, it was written. Uh,
The poem is a poignant rumination on how quote I can be a delicious lunch dinner or breakfast if you're weird
She goes on to describe herself quote as a round and flat piece of dough with lots of topping
I am a mouse best friend. I make you say yum yum
It's amazing how kids know at a young age what they're gonna do with their life
Well, this here is the uh
Uh, this is fascinating because this is a great sort of reference book. Uh, you know, just looking up odd thing
It's a book of celebrity lists. What is your
I'm sorry political list political celebrity. It's almost the same. What is your favorite? What is your favorite?
Well, there's a lot of them. I mean, you know
We tried to basically do have a kind of a resource book about politics that also had
some funny things in there and and so that you know the whole problem with politics is people often think that it's
Dull and boring and and they don't really appreciate some of the drama or some of the history or some of the funny parts. So
um, there are
everything from
codenames of presidents to jimmy carter's uh,
10 list of 10 favorite desserts that he insisted to uh,
Richard nixon's protocol at state dinners
What was the women? What was it the women?
Women who ran for president who couldn't vote for themselves. It was um, you know, we there's there's obviously lists of men who?
Ran for president shouldn't be able to vote for themselves, but the women
Um, one of them there were two one of them was named victoria woodholt. She ran in for president in 1872
She's not no one really knows about this, but she uh, she was a free love candidate and she had two husbands
And she got 3 000 votes and uh, she she one of her suitors was cornelius vanderbilt
And before she ran for president she used to get stock tips from him and she opened up her own brokerage house
In new york and made a killing so she was really a woman a very modern woman way before her time
Well, that's what's fun. It makes you realize there's nothing new really. Yes
Well, everything has been done inside of it, but it's very funny just odd facts about various political figures
Well, listen, it's of course the book of political lists and of course george magazine. Thanks so much
for coming
It's really a pleasure to meet you. Don of kennedy jr. Be right back with brandy right after this don't go away
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Stay tuned for late night my guests are rosy o'donnell from seinfeld patrick putty warburton and comedian david tell
Watch as we reveal the plot of the final seinfeld
So you think you've seen it all not yet season finale tuesday is coming with a full hour of mad about you
Starring ellen as the new nanny plus baby stuck in the elevator
And what really goes on in paul and jamie's band
Oh my god, oh then on a full hour of frazier frazier gets fired and gets everybody else fired
And to top it off he gets definitely dragged off the jail in handcuffs ever find yourself in that position again
Be sure to call on me. It's season finale tuesday on mbc if you miss this you'll be sorry
And it is you're selling four million copies of her debut album
My next guest also stars history is moisha tonight
She's forming a song from her new album never say never and it'll be in stores june 9th. Please welcome randy
Me
I know that you may be
Just a bit jealous of me but you're blind if you can't see
I tried to hesitate. I didn't want to say what you told me
Me
Must you do the things you do
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I'm sorry
You
A nation thinking it won't chew
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Special places in my heart
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He gave me no love
I had a party now
And you, sweetie, the boy is mine
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I wanna thank my guest.
Brandy Never Say Never is the CD.
John F. Kennedy Jr.
The Book of Political List is the new book from George Magazine.
George is a magazine.
And of course, our good friend Jerry Seinfeld.
Off to his fun travel to London.
Jerry Seinfeld.
you