Hahaha.
I have that phone removed.
Yeah.
I shouldn't answer calls...
Hey everybody, look, it's Bobby.
It's Bobby Bowman, our stagehand.
Give him a hand.
Applause.
Now Bobby, please.
Please don't tell me that you,
all people, have a sex tape too.
Well, on my last vacation,
my wife and I took a trip together.
And we bought our video camera along.
And you know things got kind of romantic.
Wanna roll that, Liz?
Ah!
Music.
Applause.
Music.
Nice kick on it.
Yeah.
No.
Where are you going?
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute, you can't show monkey,
you can't show monkey porn and then go back stage.
Slow backing up.
You're gonna sit on that couch when we go to...
Come in here, you sit right there.
You sit here.
Alright.
You're gonna own up to what you just did.
We're gonna take a break, everybody.
We got an amazing line up tonight.
It definitely is must see.
We'll be right back with George Wentz.
Music.
Applause.
Music.
Hey!
Just what I need.
Sorry. Geez.
Got you really good too.
Here, take it.
And what are you, 34 ways?
Yeah, you got your cover.
Think that's refreshing?
Try this, the crisp, clear lemon-lime taste of 7-Up.
It's perfect holiday refreshment.
Take the car.
Can I insist?
Really? It is a wonderful life.
To test their latest parka,
mother Gert Boyle
and son Tim
head for the mountains.
Music.
Columbia Sportswear.
Ah!
My son is dying.
And the insurance company won't pay for his treatment.
I want to expose these people.
For one young lawyer, the practice of law
has just become more dangerous.
Jury can't bring money laundry.
Are you scared? Yes.
Than anything he ever learned in school.
Advise you mind your manners.
You're in the big water now.
John Grisham's The Rainmaker.
You ain't over your head, son. Absolutely.
Directed by Francis Ford Coppola.
Rated PG-13.
Starts Friday, November 21st everywhere.
They thought I was running away.
All I could see was you.
Escape.
Calvin Klein.
Your gift.
With any $33 escape for men purchase.
At Macy's.
Presenting the secret agent
for the new century.
I can do action.
Bill Murray is
fabulous.
The man who moved you to metal. Rated PG.
Now playing at a theater near you.
Music.
Why, hello.
Nice to see you again.
Ladies and gentlemen, you all
you all know my first guest.
That's the lovable Norm from Cheers.
Please welcome my pal and yours
George Wendt.
Music.
Wherever you go.
But you seem, yeah, we see you a lot, but you've got a little bit of a glow about you
tonight.
You just seem real sparkly tonight.
Yeah, well, you know, I've been having fun, you know?
Just fun.
Fun.
Good, clean fun.
Well, what do you mean?
Well, specifically, I'm just curious, because you seem a little different.
I mean, just so...
No, no, no.
Can I, you know, tell you a little secret?
What?
Well, I'm, no, I'm not gay, okay?
And it's not, and it's not a sex tape, you should tell them that.
That was some hot stuff, man.
That was.
Ow!
What is it?
What's the...
I just, I'm completely drunk right now.
I'm bombed.
I am all lit up, baby.
What are you talking about?
You're all lit up.
I thought that was cologne.
Yeah.
Cologne.
No, it's like, I know, it's kind of unprofessional, you know, but I've been drinking all day.
Well, why would you be drinking all day?
You know you have a talk show appearance tonight.
Why would you be drinking?
I can't help it, you know?
Anytime I go out, people are just so friendly and nice.
They want to say hello.
They want to buy me a beer, you know?
And...
They see you and their response is just, I gotta buy this guy a beer?
I don't know.
I think it's like, you know, if I ever see that guy, I am gonna buy him a beer.
And they do, and they insist that I drink it.
And it's so sweet, you know, I just, I can't say no, really.
Wait, you could say no.
Couldn't you just try?
I mean...
No, it's crazy.
I mean, the pressure, you wouldn't believe it.
People are just, you know, they're a little overbearing.
I mean, I don't know if you could quite understand what it's like to live in my shoes for a bit.
No, I just can't believe that it would be...
I can understand that people would see you and they'd think, Norm, and they'd want to
buy you a beer.
But I don't think it would be that bad.
I've got proof.
Okay?
I've brought a clip.
What is this?
A clip?
This is a clip.
I know that most people come on with clips from their projects, Conan, but I actually
brought a clip from my life.
From your life?
Yeah.
What is this?
A day in...
This is a day in New York.
Typical day in New York.
All right.
Yeah.
Do we just roll this thing?
Just roll this puppy.
All right.
Norm, have a beer.
It's lunchtime.
Oh, come on.
Drink up.
Thank you.
Okay.
May I have a hot dog, please?
No hot dog.
Have a beer.
A beer.
Thank you.
Hey, you can't walk with that.
Oh, sorry.
You need a full mug of beer.
Uh, hello.
My name is George and I'm an alcoholic.
Oh, come on, Norm.
Have a beer.
A beer.
Thank you.
Okay.
All right.
Yeah.
Oh, come on.
Thank you.
All right.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, no.
I really...
Oh, come on.
I'm just curious about something I mean in that in that tape you had like you
know 60 quarts of beer you're still functioning you're able to walk and talk
why are you not stinking drunk all the time I've got my secrets you know I got
my things I basically I throw up every five minutes that's your nice little
trick yeah yeah you don't believe me why it just sounds a little I know I've got
a clip let's see this clip I want to see this
ladies and gentlemen you all you all know my first guest as the lovable Norm
from Cheers please welcome wait a minute we shook your hands I'm sitting in mr.
sex chair I thought it was clone then I thought it was boo right now I know what
all right well thanks for sharing all that with us you know it's it's really
about that time really yeah I gotta go we really want you to go
make this appointment everybody George I'm sorry we'll take a break Olympic gold medalist Julie Fowdy's coming up we'll see in a second
the 18 to one rate plan has made long-distance prices sink whoa calls from
home or one low rate to anybody in America any time what about those ten
three two one and say I could see big over 18 t8 most calls would cost less
with 18 t1 rate cost less right feel so you hey don't beat yourself up what
about the big savings with ten three two one forget it if your calls aren't over
20 minutes 20 minutes he's taking it really good no restrictions no games the
AT&T one-rate plan introducing all zinc defense dietary supplement to help you
stay healthy this winter and throughout the year
holes in defense is your defense system ready when you're waiting to find out if
you're pregnant or not nothing else in the world matters until you know
introducing clear blue easy one minute pregnancy test because only clear blue
easy gives you a clear yes or no in one minute
how bad is it we're dead how dead dead dead check out the flame mail many hits
so far millions billions who knows we should have a good at this server can't
it's not scalable what now lock the door
don't miss the biggest sale of the year at Robinson's May the 16-hour sale this
Friday and Saturday with extra low prices on Sealy, Surta, Simmons and
spring air mattresses as low as 39.88 twin each piece plus on special premium
styles you receive a free bed frame we'll pick up your old mattress and we'll
deliver your new mattress the next day buy now and no payment till March it's
our biggest sale of the year the 16-hour sale this Friday and Saturday shop both
days 8 a.m. to midnight at Robinson's May the year is 2013 a drifter puts on a
postman's uniform and one small change said he was a postman said that the
government had been restored alters the future forever I want all mail carriers
hunted down from the Academy award-winning director of dances with
wolves Kevin Costner the postman starts Thursday December 25th at a theater near
you
before we go on I just want to take one quick moment to say I think people
watching television at home will have picked up on this by now but but just
what an amazing audience we have here tonight I mean you guys I'm going
somewhere with this I'm going somewhere with this it is really nice to have a
hot crowd tonight especially especially after last night's crowd I mean correct
me if I'm wrong Andy but last night had to be the worst studio audience we have
had in four and a half years of broadcast that's unbelievable yeah I mean
believeably bad no matter what you said they didn't laugh at anything at one
point I wanted to walk into the audience and just wipe the drool off those
people's faces I was in last night's crowd I think there was a lot of
inbreeding it may have just been one family man well I think a lot of them
were relieving themselves in their pants because no one taught them that you have
to use a toy what's a toilet stop it I swear to God stupid people I hope they
die yeah I said stop it I'm gonna pay them a little visit
I'm from last night's audience I can't believe these two they're slamming last
night's crowd I was there me too come on we got a score to settle
hey you can't park that thing there we're going to see Conan he's slagging
last night's crowd what I worked that show last night come on people weren't
so pathetic