Hi, I'm Mark Hamill, and this is My Kids.
Our children look to us as parents for answers and examples, and one of the most difficult
things we have to cope with is our own imperfections, habits, and behaviors when trying to teach
our children right from wrong.
Today, we're going to focus on how to help our kids cope with some of the major decisions
in their lives concerning drugs, alcohol, and tobacco.
Hey, maybe we'll even learn a few things about ourselves.
It's My Kids with Mark Hamill.
My Kids, a parent's guide for the next generation.
And now, here's Mark Hamill.
Today, more than 3,000 kids a day under the age of 18 start smoking.
And despite advertising to the contrary, there's no safe way to use tobacco.
Cigars, pipes, low-tar cigarettes, and smokeless tobacco are all health risks.
And yet tobacco use has risen over the last few years.
The question is, why?
And what can we, as parents, do about it?
It's a complicated world we live in.
It's not easy being a teenager.
And it's not easy being a parent to one.
Our children are faced with temptation at every turn.
It's easy to feel powerless to help.
But we have to.
Raising a happy, healthy child is the most important job most of us will ever have.
It's rewarding, but it can also be difficult.
Often it's hard to know where to turn for help.
The question is, how do we encourage our teens to make the right decisions?
How do we provide instruction without alienating them?
And how can we insulate them from harmful influences?
Those are important questions, and they're questions that almost all parents will have
to answer sooner or later.
These days, everyone knows that smoking is bad for you.
But it continues to go on.
More kids start every day.
Why?
A lot of parents smoke themselves.
Does that make you a hypocrite if you don't want your children to smoke, even though you
do?
Not at all.
It's important to be honest.
Let them know about your addiction.
In other words, share your experiences with your teens.
If you made mistakes with tobacco, drugs, and alcohol, own up to them.
And make a case for your kids not making the same mistakes.
Some consider it a social activity, even a rite of passage.
Slick marketing campaigns tell us it's cool, it's hip, it's in.
What the ads and images don't tell us is that smoking is the number one preventable cause
of death in this country.
You may get cancer, but I doubt you'll get the truth from cigarette companies.
They keep saying you can't get out on cigarettes.
I know many smokers who lose their vocal cords and quit.
I'm Janet Sutton.
I was a model for cigarettes.
I convinced many young people to smoke.
I hope I can convince you not to.
Teen smoking rates are as high now as they were 20 years ago.
Overall, the number of young tobacco users is alarmingly high.
In 1997, 48% of high school males and 36% of high school females used some form of tobacco,
either cigarettes, cigars, snuff, or chewing tobacco.
Kids start smoking, why do we start doing anything?
We get tempted, someone introduces it to us, someone suggests it would be fun, it would
be an adventure.
It's a rebelliousness, it's a curiosity.
A lot of times with kids, it's an impulsive thing.
They just get in a situation and someone else is doing it and they do it.
In some Latin American cultures, a child lighting an adult cigarette is seen as a sign of respect
and elsewhere it's thought of as a harmless phase.
The truth is, it's neither.
The truth is that smoking may be a stepping stone to other risky behavior and shouldn't
be taken lightly.
The road to adulthood is hardly a smooth one.
It's filled with temptation.
To understand why teens smoke, it's important to understand their thoughts and feelings.
Being a singer from the time I was a little kid, I never wanted to smoke because of what
I thought it would do to my voice.
And I was really one of the lucky ones, I had music and that got me high.
I had friends who abused various substances and I could be friendly with them on a certain
level and still kind of wish that they didn't do that.
But it really didn't affect us coexisting in certain circumstances.
But I never felt comfortable being at a party or in a situation where there was too much
stuff going on like that.
It was never comfortable for me.
How I dealt with it mostly was to remove myself from those kind of circumstances.
Understanding your kids' feelings might be tough.
A lot of parents think their children won't listen.
It's a communication breakdown.
But getting through to your teen doesn't require sophisticated skills or a Ph.D.
It just takes trying.
It takes a serious commitment to helping them build their inner resources, their self-esteem,
their confidence, and those resources help them resist risky behavior.
Teenagers can expect fewer observable physical problems from smoking, which is part of the
problem with teenagers who are not aware that they're having a problem with it right away.
Eventually they'll have the same problems.
Initially going to be a loss of functional capacity, a loss of ability to exert themselves,
engage in strenuous physical activity.
If a teenager is an asthmatic, they'll find that their asthma is flaring more frequently
and they'll become ill more often.
They may wind up in the hospital sooner and eventually there's a higher risk, well-known
risk of cancer as well.
Are medical statistics going to keep our youth away from tobacco?
Don't count on it.
You'll have to do it by connecting with them in a way that counts.
Let them know smoking stains your teeth.
It ages your face.
No one looks good with yellow teeth.
To parents who catch their kids smoking, I would say take the situation seriously but
don't overreact.
I would use this as an opportunity to reinforce your convictions about smoking, that it's
dangerous and that it's just not to be allowed in the home.
And if one or both parents smoke, I would say that's a great opportunity to make that
commitment to stop smoking.
Our goals are to use powerful, effective prevention programs that we know work.
And what our agency does is we're responsible for them getting it out, field testing it
with diverse populations, seeing if it still works, they still work, and then getting it
out to the public.
Fashion magazines are pushing cigar chic every other issue.
And on-screen smoking in the movies goes back literally decades.
Children still see it as being cool and end up emulating celebrity behavior.
But remember that doesn't mean parents are powerless to change things.
An informed, active parent has all the power they need.
How to stay informed?
Keep up with resources that can help.
In this case, resources available from the government.
Like the CDC tobacco information and prevention source page or TIPS.
It's located on the internet at www.cdc.gov slash tobacco.
Or take a look at the Center for Substance Abuse Prevention's webpage at www.health.org.
Both sites help you connect with information on how best to quit.
Fighting media and peer pressure isn't easy.
When my kids returns, Corey James will explore some of the tactics that can help keep your
kids drug and alcohol free.
There are lots of things that make your kids sick you can't do anything about.
And then there's one you can.
If you can't quit smoking, quit smoking around the kids.
Hi, I'm Dominique Dawes and I want to talk to you about Girl Power.
It's about speaking your mind, feeling good about yourself, reaching your goals.
Girl Power.
Call 1-800-729-6686.
More than $100 million are spent every year advertising smokeless tobacco.
Endorsements from sports celebrities have helped widen its appeal among young men especially
and turn it into a trillion dollar a year industry.
Since it's chewed rather than smoked, a number of young people think it's a safe alternative
to cigarettes at least short term.
Well the truth is, it's not.
Teens today are bombarded with media messages that make smoking, drinking, spit tobacco
and drug use appear to be a normal or even glamorous part of everyday life.
Tobacco and alcohol companies spend millions of dollars a day in advertising.
Much of their pitch is targeted to young people.
And that advertising is working.
Every day 3,000 young people become regular smokers and many others begin to use spit
tobacco.
And in the past month alone, 1 in 6 young people between the ages of 12 and 17 drank
alcohol.
And it's not just the legal substances that concern us as parents.
Today nearly 1 in 3 10th graders admits to using marijuana at least once a month.
It's important to understand that behind each of these figures is the life of a child, a
son, a daughter.
A life that's full of promise, achievement and possibility.
A life that is more important than any statistic.
There's a lot less attention paid to kids, frankly.
It's the bottom line.
And it's so much easier for kids to fall into patterns of behavior that are less than healthy
for them because the parents don't realize it until it's too late because they're busy
doing 9 million things.
The truth is that kids are falling through the cracks a lot more easily because of the
nature of our society right now.
Fortunately, there's a lot that parents can do.
We're the first and last line of defense.
All national organizations and government agencies are working hard to help us protect
our youth and help eliminate the barrage of pro-tobacco, alcohol and drug messages in
the entertainment industry.
We work directly with producers and directors of films and TV shows when they have a smoking
related script in development.
Another example, we're working with the National Institutes of Health and with the Entertainment
Industries Council on the PRISM awards.
And these are given each year to entertainment media that show accurate depictions of tobacco,
alcohol and drug use.
Make it realistic and don't just put it in as a prop.
I know of so many directors, video directors and film directors that just think that it
looks cool and it'll make their scene that much more interesting.
I'm sorry, those days are far over.
I think in that way, you have to take more of a responsibility for what's right.
AdSmart and MediaSharp are examples of the kind of powerful tools available to modern
parents.
MediaSharp focuses on helping young people become savvy consumers of media, whether it's
advertising or entertainment or news.
We want young people to be able to analyze what they see, to be able to deconstruct messages,
especially ones that might be unhealthy.
But equally important, we want young people to take full advantage of the media to get
information and to construct their own messages.
Literacy in today's media-driven society means more than knowing how to read, write and do
arithmetic.
It means being media literate, whether through movies, music, TV shows or advertisements.
While media is a powerful influence, parents can learn to capitalize on it as a way to
communicate with their teens.
Watching TV and movies together can often launch interesting discussions that aren't
confrontational.
Programs like MediaSharp and AdSmart are effective tools that can be used at home and in schools.
Take a look at the Center for Media Literacy site on the Internet.
It's a great source for basic information on media literacy.
And it offers an important list of recommended books and videos that can help you and your
children learn how to view advertising with a critical eye.
More and more young people are starting to smoke, drink and use drugs and at younger
ages.
As parents, we need to ask ourselves why, what are the reasons and what can we do to
make a difference?
It's important for parents to understand the stage of development that teens are going
through.
This is the time of life when young people shape their self-image.
And that self-image is based on interaction with their peers and with the culture that
surrounds them.
This is the time of life when there is a single overriding desire, the desire to fit in, to
be accepted.
And that desire often leads to experimentation.
I started drinking when I was about 13.
It was my 13th birthday and my oldest sister took me out.
From there, it escalated into drugs.
Drugs use is up, especially among 12 to 17 year olds.
As a matter of fact, its use has more than doubled since 1992.
And according to surveys, the perception of its harm has declined.
Today, special interest groups publicly advocate the legalization of marijuana for medical
purposes.
But the fact remains that terminally ill patients are just about the only ones for whom the
drug is safe.
Pop culture continues to glamorize the drug and that message is reaching our youth.
Is marijuana hip?
Cool?
That's the message in a lot of today's media.
But it's a deceptive message.
The reality of smoking marijuana, mood swings, slowed thinking, weight gain, memory problems,
and lack of motivation.
Maybe you experimented with marijuana when you were young.
If so, you're not alone.
The National Household Survey on Drug Abuse found that 50% of Baby Boomer parents say
they did too.
So be honest and talk about it.
Help your children understand how they can avoid making the same mistakes that you did.
The main reason for youth not to use drugs is the relationship with their parents and
that their parents don't want them to use.
And that's a very important and critical message that we get out to all parents in this country
that you can make a difference.
Teens who have a strong, caring relationship with their parents are usually not the ones
who experiment with drugs.
But just how do you establish a relationship like that with your children?
We try to, my wife and I, give him the feeling that he is someone, I express to him that
he is someone, that he's very important and not allow everyone else to dictate what he's
going to do because he has a mind of his own.
And along with showing him support, love, and becoming involved in his activities.
I know a lot of people that was involved with drugs and alcohol, but my parents gave me
a great foundation as a child.
They instilled in me values that I don't need to succumb to print pressure.
I have a mind of my own that I should make my own decisions.
And I just continue to say no.
It might sound strange, but get to know your children.
Make sure you recognize their individuality and help them feel loved and accepted for
who they are.
Other suggestions, be physically present at home at key times for key events.
When you're not with them, make an effort to know where they are and whom they're with.
Studies invariably show that a strong participation in school by both youngsters and their parents
boosts a child's chances for success.
This is an ongoing need that should start early and essentially never end.
More than 100,000 people die each year as a result of drinking alcohol.
And a full quarter of those deaths come from a single source, drunk driving.
Here's another sobering statistic.
Alcohol is involved in more than 10,000 murders a year.
And while the link between alcohol and violence is common knowledge, a lot of people don't
know the real scope of the problem.
With numbers like that, it's easy to see the size of the problem parents face.
Like smoking, alcohol abuse and its health consequences are entirely preventable.
The key, however, is creating a dialogue with your kids, one that addresses the issue and
offers positive, realistic solutions.
SAMHSA, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration, offers a number of excellent
websites aimed at helping parents and teenagers deal with alcohol and substance abuse.
Two of the most important are the National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information
at www.health.org and the agency's home page at www.samhsa.gov.
At both sites, parents can find up-to-date resources on alcohol, tobacco and drug problems,
contact information and prevention tips.
If you drink alcohol yourself, then it's important to reinforce the proper message within your
family.
Here are some tips.
When you drink, do it in moderation and don't involve your children in your drinking by
having them mix beverages or by asking them to get you a beer.
When possible, point out examples of irresponsible drinking, whether in real life or on TV.
Point out the consequences and be sure to balance control with love.
Older children especially need to be aware of the possible results of intoxication.
Let them know blackouts, memory loss, physical injury and auto accidents are just the tip
of the iceberg.
Teaching your children is a big job, but the results are important and try to be flexible.
Remember that kids may have an easier time talking about sensitive issues to adults who
aren't their parents.
Try to provide a supporting framework where that can happen.
Coordinate with relatives, teachers and friends for example.
And be aware of the kind of example you provide.
Remember that you are the single most powerful influence in your child's life.
Instead of automatically reaching for that evening drink, try setting aside a few minutes
instead to talk about real life problems that have occurred over the course of the day.
Discuss how these problems can be handled.
Ask your teens for their suggestions.
Involve them.
It helps build problem solving skills.
Skills that will help both of you resist the temptation to turn to alcohol and drugs.
As a parent for me and my wife Cynthia is that we try really hard to be our kids heroes.
You know we try and do the best we can.
There's nothing cooler than looking up to your parents.
I mean my heroes growing up were my mom and dad.
I really admire the memories I have of my father working so hard and the goals and him
enjoying his work so much.
And I think if the fact that my kids see how much I love what I do will hopefully inspire
them to find whatever it is in their lives that makes them as happy as my work makes
me.
I really wanted to quit doing drugs when my family stopped talking to me.
They had to kind of give me tough love.
I had a best friend that I live with.
It was my best friend since I was 12 years old and he left and he won't talk to me now.
He got sick of watching me pretty much just like destroy my inner spirit.
Keeping the lines of communication open your teenager join Corey James as he examines the
many avenues available to parents.
Next on My Kids.
Hi I'm Dominique Dawes and I want to talk to you about girl power.
Girl power and drugs just don't mix.
So be smart.
Stay away from drugs and work hard.
It pays off.
Call 1-800-729-6686.
You might not know it but marijuana use among eighth graders has doubled over the last few
years.
The bottom line kids who use marijuana are more likely to move on to other harder drugs.
Drugs like cocaine or heroin.
Young people who use drugs are more likely to be the victims of violence, engage in unprotected
sex and fail in school.
Clearly drug abuse is one of the single most important issues facing parents today and
it's an issue that doesn't care about race, class or religion.
Young people want to imitate adults.
It's all about being grown up.
Being grown up means freedom.
Being grown up means making your own decisions.
The fact that young people want to imitate adults is one of our biggest advantages.
I try to relate to her on her level more and I think that's probably why we get along so
well and we're able to talk.
In many cases giving children more independence can actually help deter them from using alcohol,
tobacco and illicit drugs.
Why?
Well because the independence they gain often makes them feel grown up enough.
Enough not to experiment with alcohol, drugs and tobacco.
The single best thing you can do to help your children is to simply talk to them and listen.
Here's a quiz.
Try to pick the best response to this situation.
You've discovered a pack of cigarettes that seem to belong to your son.
What do you do?
One, let it slide this time.
Number two, ground them for smoking.
Number three, take the opportunity to discuss both of your feelings about smoking.
Well obviously the third option creates a world of possibilities and most importantly
opens up a dialogue between the two of you, something the other choices just won't do.
When you're talking to them, don't rely on scare tactics.
That rarely works.
Instead, help them build resistance to temptation and arm him with information.
When you're talking to your teens, make sure your message is credible.
Don't tell young people that everyone who drinks becomes an alcoholic or that anyone
who does drugs is automatically bad or that smoking and drinking are prevalent among young
kids today.
In fact, most teens don't smoke or drink.
If they see any evidence to the contrary, your message will have lost its credibility.
When you have a consistency in years and years of being open and honest and telling them
the truth and telling them about stuff, even if it's a little bit scary, they come to have
a security of when dad tells me something, it's the real deal.
Even when it comes to tough stuff like alcohol abuse and drug abuse and what happens to cancer
patients from smoking too much, all those things, they know that I'm not sugar coating
it or turning it into a fairy tale.
They know that what I'm telling them is straight up.
We start talking to children the day they're born.
If we don't do this, we're not going to likely talk to them the day they turn 13, 14, 15.
We must start early.
Learn the signs of alcohol and drug use and be alert for changes in a child's behavior
or appearance.
Some signs to look for, withdrawal, isolation, depression and fatigue, aggressive and rebellious
behavior, the deterioration of family relationships, a change in the circle of friends they associate
with, loss of interest in hobbies or sports, and the physical signs like evidence of drugs
and paraphernalia, pipes, rolling papers, medicine bottles, eye drops and lighters,
or physical changes in the young person, red eyes, coughing, wheezing, bags under the eyes
and frequent sore throats when not caused by colds can all be warnings.
But what if it's a crisis?
What if your teen seems to actively be under the influence of a drug today, right now?
Well, what then?
You wouldn't want to get into a hostile confrontation with someone who can be extremely paranoid
and hostile and aggressive at that time.
So it may be better to wait.
It probably is until the child is not in a drug state where they can reason and talk
with them more effectively.
One of the best resources for keeping your child healthy, other parents.
Get to know your child's friends and their parents.
Work with them to plan social events and develop a set of rules and curfews.
Our kids are really well behaved, well mannered kids.
And we have a lot of rules for them, but I'm hoping that it's the groundwork for them
to have the ability to set rules for themselves when they're out of the house.
Try to keep your children active, involved and busy.
Research has shown that when teens are unsupervised or have too little to do, they're more likely
to experiment with drugs, alcohol and tobacco.
Find activities, investigate alternatives like the Center for Substance Abuse Prevention's
Positive Activities Campaign.
It's an ambitious five-year plan to reduce substance abuse among teens by encouraging
adults and young people to get involved by doing positive things like volunteering, working
with local mentors and focusing on health and fitness.
Direct involvement in your child's life is the single most important step you can take
in helping them stay substance free.
And it's the best thing you can do to help them get the most out of life and every single
day of it, from now until they have children of their own.
Raising healthy, happy kids is a great accomplishment for parents and great accomplishments are never
easy.
The good news, it is possible.
Your child doesn't have to become a statistic and doesn't have to become one of the millions
each year that have their lives destroyed by chemical dependence.
Remember, all the health issues we've discussed on the show today are preventable and as parents
it's our job to prevent them.
In the end, it's all about helping your kids make the right choice from the start and that's
something they can only do with our help.
Thanks for joining us.
Until next time, I'm Mark Hamill with My Kids, the guide for parents of the new generation.
We'll see you soon.