Catch the Ghostbusters, weekdays at 7 a.m. on TV18.
I'd like to speak to you about multiple sclerosis.
All of us have mountains to climb and obstacles to overcome.
For people with MS, the challenge in life is greater than for most.
Without warning, MS strikes young people in the prime of their lives.
College students, brides, athletes, servicemen.
200 more young Americans are diagnosed every week, just as they're starting to live.
This year, the National Multiple Sclerosis Society observes its 40th anniversary.
40 years of serving people with MS, with programs that help them get up, get around, and get on with their lives.
And 40 years of searching for a cure for a quarter of a million young Americans who have MS.
It's your support that keeps us incurably optimistic about finding a cure tomorrow.
Roar into thunder action this fall, when the mighty Thundercats leap into battle against the forces of evil.
On the Thundercats!
The Thundercats!
On this wonderful world of Disney, a delightful look at the foibles of modern man.
There's the fellow who tends to overreact.
And then the guy who is just accident-prone.
Now, Mr. Duck doesn't take chances. He's just careless.
But don't be alarmed, because it's all cartoon fun in Ducking Disaster with Donald and his friends.
Coming up next...
Our story begins after these important messages.
Many of us live our day-to-day lives without thinking about politics.
But politics and the voting process control much of our lives.
Are you registered to vote for this November's election?
On the first Tuesday in November, which is an important day for all of us to register and vote.
If you have not voted in the last four years, you need to re-register.
If you are a new resident in Charlotte, Mecklenburg, you can register if it's 30 days before the election.
Ella says there are a lot of reasons that people suffer from voter apathy and don't bother to vote at all.
If you have moved recently, you need to change your voter registration.
And there is still time to apply for absentee ballots.
One important note in closing.
The Mecklenburg County Board of Elections has moved to a new address, 741 Kenilworth Avenue.
I'm Charlene Price, keeping you in touch with Charlotte.
Take a family raised by their older brother and his new wife.
Add an uncle with opinions of his own.
Hey, hey, people eat in here.
Mix together a dash of confusion.
Hi everybody, guess what?
Are you marching on fire?
And a heap of understanding.
You're doing just great as a father.
Yeah?
As a brother, you could use some work.
What you get is Danny Thomas in one big family.
Check it out. Great idea.
Saturday nights at 7 here on TV18.
And now, Ducking Disaster with Donald Duck.
Now your host, Woodward von Dre, author of the bestselling book on psychiatry.
How do you do?
These books have nothing to do with the subject I'm going to talk about.
They're just something on other subjects I batted out before the program.
But now, I'm going to talk about the most serious problem in the whole world.
Do you know what is the most serious problem facing people today?
You know what it is?
People!
And you know something else?
There are three billion people in the world.
So it actually makes three billion problems.
If you want to look at it that way.
Now through scientific research, we psychologists have come to one conclusion.
People make more trouble for people than anybody.
Because they are always putting their foot in it.
And you know why?
Because people are stupid.
That's why!
Oh boy, I tell you they got a hangnail in Indonesia tonight.
Now let's see, where was I?
Oh, I tell you people just don't think.
Think.
That's spelled T-H-I-N.
Wait a second.
K.
Think.
They don't use their heads.
Now everyone has at least one head.
Some are fat heads.
Some is block heads.
And some are egg heads.
Like me.
See?
Now no matter what shape your head is in, everyone has a brain in there somewhere.
Did you know about three pounds of you is brains?
And your brain is bigger than that of any other living animal.
Unless you happen to be an elephant or something.
Are you an elephant or something?
Of course if you are, what are you doing sitting in the living room?
Elephants are supposed to watch television from outside.
What am I saying?
That's subjective.
What was I talking about?
Oh yes, the size of the brain.
An elephant is a kind of a peanut brain compared to his size.
But sizes of brains don't count anyhow.
No matter how hard he tries, an animal cannot think.
Everything he does is because of instinct and emotion.
Man is the only animal with the ability to think.
And no other animal can make that statement.
And if he does, he's lying.
For instance, if the elephant could think, he'd build himself a stall shower.
And he'd have hot and cold running water too.
When a man scratches his head, it shows he's dinking.
When an animal scratches, it shows he's itching.
Now here's a kooky weight of fish.
Ooh, when he gets a bite, he gets bit.
Look at that squirrel head.
If he had any sense, he'd grab a taxi.
Besides, you'd think he'd hitch a hike on one of those goony birds.
You know, if those goonies could think, they'd go back to the old drawing board
and redesign their landing gear.
Maybe that squirrel had better stick to taxis after all.
Look at this bird brain.
You'd think he'd install an escalator or something.
Nope, he got to do it the hard way.
Watch it.
Monkeys seem almost human, but match his brains against man.
Like for instance in a simple game of draw a poker.
And obviously the monkey will lose.
This is hardly a fair test because Von Drake is a sharpie.
I mean expert at the game.
Look, already he's confused.
He doesn't know what to do with them.
Well, come on, quit monkeying around.
How much are you going to bet?
One chip.
Boy, what a cheap chimp.
See, he doesn't even know enough to draw on.
He can't even see.
See, he doesn't even know enough to draw any cards.
Oh, your standing pad?
Oh, what a sucker I got here.
Okay, I'll see you.
What you got?
Royal flash?
Beginner luck.
I had to play cards with a lucky monkey.
He sure made a monkey out of me, that's what he did.
Now that I have proved beyond any doubt
man's superior reasoning power over the animal,
how come he gets himself into so much trouble?
Well, this gets us right down to the point.
The human head.
We psychologists have found out what goes on in there.
And I want to tell you right here and now
that sometimes it isn't very much, I tell you.
Now, there are two things that control the mind.
In psychology we call them reason and emotion.
And they are always battling for control.
Of course, in the undeveloped mind of a child
there is only emotion.
Just like the animals, he can't reason yet.
Let's go inside Junior's head and watch emotion at work.
Aha, here he is.
He's got the whole place to himself.
He can do as he pleases because reason isn't born yet.
Meanwhile, emotion is complete dictator
in his control over the child.
Go on, pull the kiddies tail.
Emotion loves adventure and excitement.
And so he says...
Let's go down there.
Don't be scared, it'll be fun.
So Junior starts down.
Emotionally upset.
Who are you?
I'm Weezon.
Had I been here sooner, this would never have happened.
Oh yeah?
Well, just remember, I'm the boss around here.
Time will tell.
Well, the battle's on.
And so Junior grows up into an average normal male.
Time has brought about many changes inside his head since childhood.
Reason seems to be in the driver's seat
with emotion under control in the rear.
Oh, I hate being tied down all the time.
Let's hit the high spots.
Now just control yourself.
When I'm driving, there will be no nonsense.
Oh gee, Weez, I want to live dangerously.
Woo, look at that.
A classy dish, huh?
Well, she's not bad.
Hey, slow off.
Let's get acquainted with this number.
We'll just go up and I'll sit her up.
Now, now, we must maintain proper respect for womanhood.
Oh, they like the rough stuff.
You're not going to pass that up.
We certainly are.
Now, sit down and behave yourself.
Could I go for that?
Why not?
Here, let me handle this.
We're going places.
Hi, babe.
Go on my way.
It served him right, young lady.
Oh, by the way, may we borrow your pretty head for a moment?
Thank you.
You shouldn't have slapped him.
He was cute.
Do you want to be an old maid?
Please.
Remember, we're a lady.
Oh, a lady.
I'm tired of sitting around being a lady.
Let's have some fun.
I know.
Let's eat.
I'm starving.
Well, I'm not really hungry.
But we might have something light, like tea and toast.
I want a club sandwich and a giant double milkshake.
Oh, gracious, no.
Think of our figure.
You heard me.
A club sandwich with potato salad.
With iron fist.
Tea.
A tour de coeur club sandwich with cheese and ham and tuna and chicken and mayonnaise.
No, no, no, no, no.
We get chocolate ice cream with whipped cream on top of the carrot.
Remember, we're on a diet.
Please.
And for dessert, I have chocolate layer cake with fudge icing.
Oh, dear, we should be going.
And now with hot fudge.
Oh, it's luscious.
Oh, dear, my wrist.
With whipped cream and nuts and cherries on top.
Oh, stop it.
Oh, dear, look what you've done.
Here again, you have the evidence that uncontrolled emotion can cause you a lot of trouble.
And speaking of trouble, if you worry about everything you read in the paper,
you're going to have perpetual emotion.
Let's take the case of Mr. John Dokes, who tries to keep up with current events.
Tonight's news is very grim.
It looks bad, folks.
And it's bound to get a whole lot worse.
Hey, you know what I just heard?
I heard the slobs are taking all our...
Excuse me, other man.
I get some insight, too, because...
My son told me.
The major told him.
Pretty body, pretty body, pretty body.
Yes, sir.
Prisoners are heavily armed and they're reported to be in this neighborhood.
A friend of a friend of mine was in Washington.
And he said...
They're taking all our food and sending it to Europe.
Oh, we starve to death.
Starve to death.
You won't be able to earn a living.
He's got the right dough.
Don't believe everything you hear.
I'll believe anything I want to.
You must use judgment and cardigan.
Oh, we're in a mess.
We haven't got a chance.
Oh, no emotion.
Control yourself.
I said go from there.
Knock it off.
That's great.
Go ahead.
Put reason out of the way.
Now sit down, both of you, and let a thinker take over.
Me.
You see what happens when you let emotion run away with you?
Listen, you two.
Here's what you got to do.
You reason.
Your job is to plan.
Discriminate.
And you emotion be a fine, strong emotion.
An emotion that loves his freedom and enjoys living.
You must learn to work together with reason in the driver's seat and emotion by his side.
And so you see, in the mind, reason and emotion should be well balanced.
Take away reason, leaving only emotion, and you are a nitwit.
Our story continues after these messages.
I can't wait to get to the S'mores Crunch cereal.
I think we're being watched.
Oh, no.
Where's the s'mores-er?
On the prowl, pals?
We're hungry for S'mores Crunch.
But so is he.
Then it's a perfect time to...
Wave my wand for swirls of chocolatey grams and marshmallows galore.
It's S'mores Crunch.
An enchanted part of this nutritious breakfast.
Can I have s'mores?
Sure.
S'mores Crunch cereal.
It's s'mores fun.
Bearing Cobra Commander no longer has the ability to leave,
Destro and Dr. Mindbender comb the tombs of the most evil leaders in history
and from their genetic tissues produce a composite clone.
The ultimate cobra emperor, Serpentor.
Introducing Serpentor, the ultimate cobra emperor.
Serpentor, Serpentor.
The most evil foe of G.I. Joe, G.I. Joe.
Cobra!
Cobra Emperor comes with their chariot.
Yo, Joe!
Let us entertain you
We can make you smile
We're gonna dazzle, we're gonna shine
We're gonna show you how to have a good time
Action on a mystery tour
Laughter, we've got the cure
Let us entertain you
TV 18
And busting all the rules
Two brews
One brew, I'll have a beer
While learning all about
You had biology, figure it out
The Packs of Life
Weeknights at 6 here on WCCV TV 18
Harry and Archie have been away for 30 years and a lot of things have changed
Like what?
Like men
Shall we?
What?
And women
Darling!
All he wants to do is make love
And rules
What kind of rules?
For one thing
The only things that never change are tough guys
Best things never change
Burt Lancaster, Kirk Douglas, Tough Guys, rated PG
Basty boys
We now return to Ducking Disaster with Donald Duck
And now, what about emotion?
Well, you've got to have emotion
Without it, we'd have about as much feeling as a cold tickled rutabaga
We all got to blow off a little steam once in a while
And laugh
Cry
And laugh
But you can't let your emotions run away with you
When a problem comes up and you don't stop and think before you act
You're like a chicken with his head off
And while we're on the subject of chickens
I have a little fable about a little chicken who went off half-cocked
Now let's see here
This is his name, Chicken Liver
Not Chicken Liver, that's what I had for lunch
No, Chicken Little, that's the name of the story
This is the story of Chicken Little
And it takes place in a nice, cozy farmyard
The characters in order of their appearance are
Cocky Locky, head man, chicken inspector, supervisor of egg production
A good guy to know nowadays
This is Henny Penny and the local rocking chair brigade
Always ready to poke their beaks into everybody's business
Instead of sticking to their nitten
Here we have them at the bridge table
Who are they pecking to pieces now?
Let's listen in
Sounds just like people, don't they?
Now we see them at Madame Poulet's beauty coupe
She's getting a red henna rinse
This is Turkey Lurkey and the smart set
Who spend all day discussing what is wrong with the world
There's this element too, the jitter bird
A pretty feather-brained crowd
And here are Goosy Poozy and Ducky Lucky and all the other gay ducks
A thirsty group, always around when there's something to drink
And here's the
A thirsty group, always around when there's something to drink
Now last but not least
Here is Chicken Little
Playboy, yo-yo champ
A little shy on brains
But a good egg as chickens go
As our story continues
We find all our fine feathered friends happy and contented
And why not?
Didn't they have a big strong fence protecting them?
But wait a minute, what's this?
Aha, it's Foxy Loxy, the poultry fancier
Looks like he's taking an interest in our little community
A culinary interest
So why doesn't he just jump in and help himself?
Do you suppose it's because of the high fence?
Or the locks on the inside?
Or the farmer's shotgun?
Hmm, but I'm not a fox for nothing
Besides, there's more than one way to plug a chicken
Psychology
Why should I just get one when I can get them all?
Quote, to influence the masses, aim first at the least intelligent
Unquote
Now let's see, who looks nice and stupid?
Taki-laki
Turkey-laki
Ducky-laki, goosey-poosy
Henny-penny
Chicken-little
He looks nice and stupid
Quote, if you tell him a lie, don't tell a little one, tell a big one
Unquote
Quote
Dinner is served.
Don't worry, folks, this all turns out all right.
Mmm, delicious.
Hey, wait a minute, this isn't right. That's not the way it ends in my book.
Oh, yeah? Don't believe everything you read, brother.
Our story continues after these messages.
On my signal, begin.
You're out of your mind.
Laser Tag, the game that moves at the speed of light from Worlds of Wonder Stadium Not Included.
You can't take the crisp out of crispy wheat and raisin.
Slash them, soak them, you can even sink and soak them.
You can't take the crisp out of crispy wheat and raisin.
The crispy part of this complete breakfast.
What's chewy, bite-sized and supercharged with true flavors?
Zaps Candy, free inside every specially marked box of crispy wheat and raisin cereal.
Zaps Candy.
New spaceship destroyed by Decepticon Fire Springer, the toughest of the Autobot Triple Changers.
Crash lands on planet Chonkion.
Hurry, hurry, operators are standing by. No welcome wing has hit a stranger.
The Transformers are before their release in life.
Chonkion Rekka transforms from motorcycle to robot.
And Triple Changer Springer transforms from car to helicopter to robot.
The Transformers are before their release in life.
The Transformers each sold separately from Hasbro.
There was chaos in the Koniski family.
Of course, I've made some mistakes in life.
Here's one of them now.
And then they found Nell.
As if she has a wonderful mind that's hardly ever been used.
She's no lightweight when it comes to handling trouble.
I'll make her eat dirt.
She really knows her stuff.
I know how every wife of Henry VIII was butchered.
Let us entertain you weeknights at 6.30 here on TV18.
We now return to Ducking Disaster with Donald Duck.
You're probably wondering what I'm doing, aren't you?
I'm thinking.
You know, that's the wonderful thing about thinking.
There's no strain.
Except maybe your head might hurt a little bit.
Especially when you're not used to using it.
But before my program is over,
you're all going to know how to use your head
for something beside a hat rack.
Now, there are two ways to do anything.
The right way and the wrong way.
But anyway, millions of accidents happen around the home
because people just don't use their heads.
They are just plain careless.
Who's that stupid idiot?
What does this lunch down here?
You want to get me killed or something?
What's the matter with you?
You are some kind of a...
Ooh, you...
You see what I mean?
It's numbskulls like this one who cause accidents.
And yet, when this careless nut has an accident,
does he have the honor to blame himself?
No.
He blames fate for his fate.
Now, can you imagine blaming yourself?
Can you imagine blaming a little guy like J.J. Fate here?
Howdy.
Oh, this cute little fella wouldn't hurt anyone.
Oh, sorry.
I forgot you couldn't see him.
J.J., switch yourself on.
Oh, that's better.
Come on, J.J., get it off your chest.
Tell us all about it.
I'm J.J. Fate, a fall guy.
My little name is Jonah, and Jinx is in there, too.
Who do fits me like a glove?
But fate's my name to you.
This is an average neighborhood.
These are average homes.
Average people live here, having average accidents.
Because they don't use average intelligence.
And here comes an average citizen home from work.
Avalanche?
What's my nephew doing there?
He's average?
Safe at home, he thinks.
Ah, yes.
Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home.
To have an accident?
Do you realize that nearly five million people suffered in home accidents last year?
And everybody blames me, dag nabbit.
Just for example...
Everything happens to me.
It's fate.
That's why the boss, fate.
Listen to him blame me for his carelessness.
You know, accidents just don't happen by themselves.
They must be carelessly planned in advance.
So step right up and have an accident.
The average home is really a complicated piece of machinery.
Equipped with all the modern conveniences.
For having an accident.
If you insist.
He did.
This one is called a throw rug.
For obvious reasons.
Accidents happen fast, don't they?
Let's just slow the picture down and see how he accomplished it.
Note how easy it is to have an accident.
Just a few carelessly misplaced objects.
Hold it, we missed one. Let's try that again.
And there you have it.
An awkward attitude by an inattentive accident prone individual.
Well, here we go again.
Grrr.
It's hard to believe but Mr. Duck is really an upstanding average citizen.
With average intelligence.
Kind, considerate, jolly and usually very cautious.
He wouldn't take a chance sitting in an electric chair.
But look at the chances he takes around his home.
Everyone knows it's stupid to overload electrical equipment.
Frayed cords, frazzled nerves.
You're going into your conception.
He certainly wouldn't put his head in a lion's mouth.
But, so now he's cooking with gas.
He's gonna burn his hand.
I can't expect.
Cleaning fluid plus stove equals a surefire method for removing spots.
He wouldn't take a going over Niagara Falls in a barrel.
But, this particular maneuver is called falling down stairs.
There are many ways of doing this.
If you aren't careful.
The bumps a daisy half twist.
Jelly roll.
Catapult high dive.
Climbing Mount Everest.
Riding a roller coaster.
Now Mr. Duck doesn't take chances.
He's just careless.
Oh yes, that's one I forgot to mention.
That's the last blow.
I'm going to bed.
Very safe.
He'll be safer in bed alright.
Because sleeping doesn't require thinking.
So, I guess fate will have to wait till morning to see if Mr. Duck's learned his lesson.
You can see Mr. Duck is very punctual.
Here comes daddy.
He's learned his lesson.
But obviously his family hasn't.
The master has arrived.
Do you want to kill somebody?
Daddy's right.
Somebody can slip and break it down.
Take it outside.
Don't do that.
Take it down.
Be careful.
Watch where you're going.
Daddy's right.
Mm-hmm.
What you trying to do?
Bring yourself up?
Daddy's right.
Daddy's still right.
Well, well JJ.
Around the house Mr. Duck's become a regular safety engineer.
He's finally using his head.
And he's lucky he still has a head to use.
But when Mr. Duck arrives at work, he checks in and his mind checks out.
Looks like JJ's in for more trouble.
Uh, Mr. Duck, don't forget your safety gear.
Oh, sorry, I don't have unnecessary equipment.
What happened?
Strictly nowhere.
Mr. Duck, why does everything happen to you?
It's Frank.
That's what it is.
Frank.
Just listen to him blame me for his carelessness.
Mr. Duck doesn't mean to goof, but everyone knows an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of hay.
Anyone for cribbage?
At home, Mr. Duck is old man fire prevention himself.
But, now he's playing with fire.
Oh no, not there, stupid.
See what I mean?
Think.
That's a good thought.
Keep your thoughts on the job, or your job might become a headache.
He really got a bang out of that one.
This maneuver brings to mind that old Chinese proverb.
Translation, work should have flat concentration from you, or you may become flat work.
Our story continues after these messages.
What's that?
That's a water wheel, Zax.
A long time ago, water was used to help people grind wheat.
The moving stream turned this wheel, caught in this wheel to turn it.
Rushing water can even make electricity.
How?
Pretend I'm rushing water.
The force of rushing water turns a turbine.
The turbine turns a generator.
The generator makes electricity.
Hey, it worked.
Oh, Zax.
This message brought to you by your friends at Duke Power.
He composed Trapp's Liquidator, but the mighty granites, friends of the Earth Corps, attacked the evil Inhumanoid, forcing him back into the Earth.
Inhumanoids, Inhumanoids, the evil that lies within.
Your friends can't help you now.
But the leader of the granites can.
Granite.
Your evil ways are over.
Escape on the telescope.
Thanks, Grana.
Granarca, the figures and vehicles sold separately from Hasbro.
Inhumanoids.
Ronald McDonald and friends in the Hamburgly Touch.
Rubble cheeseburgers.
Bet Hamburgler wishes everything he touches would turn to McDonald's cheeseburgers.
Cheeseburgers?
What?
Cheeseburgers.
Touch.
Rubble the cheeseburgers.
Don't touch Grimace.
Oh, boy.
Touch my face.
You haven't touched your cheeseburgers.
I'd like to introduce you to my family. Meet my son, Vent.
You sure look pretty, mama.
This is the same dress I buried your daddy in.
I always thought he was wearing a suit.
I think he's been standing too close to the microwave.
Then there's his wife, Naomi.
Don't catch me!
That girl's been on more laps than Mario Andretti.
Like they say, you can't pick your relatives, but they're my family, and I love them.
Mama's Family, where every day is Mother's Day.
Saturday nights at 7.30 here on TV 18.
We now return to Ducking Disaster with Donald Duck.
Meet Circuit City's buyer, Marty Blattner.
He ordered too many TVs.
4,000 too many.
And warehouseman Tony Baker, who made a right turn with a forklift.
Right into a few hundred refrigerators.
Thanks to them, Circuit City is having an incredible fall clearance sale on overstock TVs, audio, and appliances in every Circuit City store.
Save on this Panasonic VCR with wireless remote, just $288.
So when you save at Circuit City's fall clearance sale, don't forget the men responsible.
We won't.
A whole new kind of hubba bubba.
Yep, sugar-free.
Sugar-free.
Say, uh, can you drive this bliver?
Sure can.
New sugar-free hubba bubba's got NutraSweep, so the flavor lasts a long time.
Hang a left.
Flavors sure do last.
I'll hit them any second.
New sugar-free hubba bubba is here.
The flavor lasts longer than the flavor.
NutraSweep is like new sugar-free hubba bubba is long on flavor, long on fun.
Benny!
It's Benson.
Who is he?
Hey, childhood.
Very good-looking, too.
He's standing tall and looking good.
What do you think?
I think you made a mountain out of a molehill.
You'll be laughing as Benson, the governor, and Kraus take care of stately duties.
Well, there goes the neighborhood.
Get up, my bear, you'll miss it.
Benson, weeknights at 7.30.
Let us entertain you.
We can make you smile.
We're gonna dazzle, we're gonna shine.
We're gonna show you how to have a good time.
Action on a mystery tour.
Laughter, we've got the cure.
Let us entertain you.
TV 18.
We're gonna dazzle, we're gonna shine.
We're gonna show you how to have a good time.
Movie, movie, oh what a show.
Good times, let yourself go.
Let us entertain you.
TV 18.
And now, back to our story.
You see how often fate gets to blame just because some numbskull won't use his brain?
And you know something?
This brain he won't use is worth using.
For centuries it's helped man to harness the limitless energy of the universe.
To unlock the secrets of nature.
To create monstrous engines from his own ingenuity.
Those tremendous power plants that keep the wheels of industry turning.
They didn't just happen, you know.
And the result of all this scientific achievement is for the benefit of man himself.
So that he has the time to create even greater achievements.
Ah!
He has not been a ninja for quite some time.
If he metres a drink, he'll become the greatest ninja.
He is the greatest of blunders and the greatest of rockets.
Oh my.
These pinched уuack blond- solem.
He's not pinning this on me.
Boy, am I hungry.
My lunch!
One drum machine!
The road to a monkey ranch and a machine!
This is industry's number one bottleneck.
Oh boy, present time!
Well, another day, another dollar.
They are waiting at the post.
They're off and running well, folks.
The daily traffic derby is underway.
Look who's our first traffic victim of the evening.
And on his own time, too.
Well, that's fate.
Oh, what am I saying?
Yes, sir, as you can see,
man is his own worst enemy,
because he just doesn't think.
And that's his problem.
But when he's behind the wheel of a car
and doesn't think, he's public enemy number one.
And that is everybody's problem.
And when I say everybody,
I mean everybody.
Something's got to be done.
And I've already done it.
Right here, I've got a lot of ideas
that'll solve the traffic problem.
These will make the highways safer for everyone.
First and most important,
I'd take those nutty woman drivers
and put them on separate highways.
And speaking of freeways,
with my freeways, you'll always know what city you're in.
The Milwaukee, Pretzel, Cloverleaf.
The Florida Keys Overpass.
The Wheeling West Virginia Traffic Circle.
The Texas Lone Star Interchange.
The Chicago Loop.
And the Las Vegas toll road.
And next, a few time-saving ideas.
Hungry?
Well, here's a way to get a quick snack
and still keep rolling along.
Long distance driving can wear you out
and cause accidents.
Relax in the Bondrake Slumber Button.
To take care of those crazy nuts
who still insist on driving carelessly,
I'd have a portable clink.
Arrested.
Tried.
And sentenced.
All in a package deal.
Aren't those ideas terrific?
But you know what the trouble is?
You know what it is?
People just won't listen to me!
All this great thinking is going to waste!
Just look at these papers.
Every day they are filled with automobile accidents.
You know, cars don't just go around banging into each other by accident.
No, sir.
There's a nut loose in that car somewhere
and he's behind the wheel.
And the way things are going,
the motor car will soon be extinct.
Do you think that this motor mayhem
is caused by motor maniacs?
No.
It's caused by average people who live in quiet,
respectable neighborhoods like this.
For example, take an average man like Mr. Walker.
He's considered a good citizen of average intelligence.
And they are the worst kind.
He's kind, courteous, punctual, and honest.
Good morning, Mr. Walker.
Good morning to you, Mr. Geith.
Lovely day.
Mr. Walker wouldn't hurt a fly,
nor step on an ant.
He believes in live and let live.
Mr. Walker owns a motor car
and considers himself a good driver.
Once behind the wheel,
a strange phenomenon takes place.
Mr. Walker is charged with an overwhelming sense of power.
His whole personality changes.
Abruptly, he becomes an uncontrollable monster,
a demon driver.
Mr. Walker is now Mr. Wheeler,
a motorist.
Hey, Geith!
Watch where you're going, stupid!
Hey!
Do you think you own the whole road?
Of course I own the road.
My taxes pay for them.
I voted for road bonds.
I paid for the roads, and I'll use them.
Get off my road! Move over!
Let me pass!
Ah, shut up!
Let them wait.
Oh, it's a beautiful day.
Fresh air.
Nice music.
Hey, get over here, you road hog!
Signals!
30 seconds gone from your life!
Oh, what a race, do they?
Well, they ain't gonna get ahead of me.
Good morning.
What luck!
A parking place!
The motorist's pot of gold.
Deprived of his protective armor,
Mr. Wheeler, motorist,
becomes Mr. Walker, pedestrian.
Of a pedestrian crossing the street,
it has often been said,
Fools step in where angels fear to tread.
Mr. Walker,
Mr. Wheeler,
Mr. Walker,
Mr. Wheeler,
Mr. Walker,
where angels fear to tread.
A friend in need is a friend indeed.
Where there's a will, there's a way.
Oh!
Extra here! Read all about it!
Here, boy, here.
Oh!
Safe!
Mr. Walker gains the haven of his car
with the knowledge of how
the other fellow feel.
Except, once behind a wheel,
Mr. Walker reverts to form again
and becomes Mr. Wheeler, motorist!
Oh!
Come on! Move over!
Get out of the way!
Too bad, Mr. Wheeler.
You've broken your toy.
But let this be a lesson, Mr. Wheeler.
Drive safely.
Use your head.
Give the other fellow a break.
Wise guy!
See what I mean?
I'm telling you, man is his own worst enemy.
He just won't use his head.
The Wonderful World of Disney will continue following these messages.