nächste recalled
to
from
the
how to relax
m
and
now your host
one of the most common topics of the day is
how to relax
what to do with
down through the ages one of the most important things man has worked and struggled for
his leave
and with the five-day week
eight-hour day
man is well on his way to his goal
he must solve the problem of what to do with all this newfound time
here at the studio
we have one of the most relaxed characters you've ever met
so i'm going to turn the show over to him and let him act as your guide
on this program
show us
the goofy way to relax
to probe the mystery of this fascinating subject of relaxation
let's take the key to the future
open the door of the present
step across the threshold of time
and journey back through the dim
dark quarters of the past
come
come with me
back through the days of the horseless carriage
and the high-wheeled bicycle
back to the very beginnings of our young nation
over the drawbridge and through the age of chivalry
back past the ancient days of the pharaohs
back
ever back to prehistoric man's earliest beginnings
the caveman
the caveman had nothing but leisure on his hands
he was truly relaxed
then one day he made a big mistake
he discovered his thumb
with his thumbs he found he could pick up a club
the club developed into tools
man discovered work
and that was the end of leisure
he made pyramids and sphinxes
he built acropolises
he built boats and bridges
and cities with roads
and buildings and houses
well one thing led to another until
man was doing nothing but work
work work
round the clock he worked
from sun up to sun down
and when he got tired of working
he worked some more
came the revolution
the industrial revolution
using brains instead of brawn
man began a long fight to recapture what he had lost
leisure
he harnessed things
he became its master
he built machines of steel to make his work easier
step by step he moved forward
he invented things
huge cranes
stamping machines
and great steel foundries
the six day week and the twelve hour day
became things of the past
thanks to the miracle of mass production
now it would appear that man is right back where he started
with time on his hands and his thumbs unemployed
but no, there's a difference
a big difference
outwardly he appears to be relaxed
but inwardly the machine has mastered man
this anatomical chart shows
that underneath it all he is a creature of tension
strain and worry
a victim of the frenzied temple of modern living
note the grim face
butterflies in the stomach
taut nerves, knattered muscles
anxiety impulses from the brain cause footas flatas
like this, or pedal extremus
like this
but unlike the brain, the foot is too smart
to try to keep up the frantic pace
it simply lies down and goes to sleep
this is marked by a tingling sensation
this tingling is transmitted through the nervous system's telephone line
until it reaches the brain
but relaxing is much easier said than done
today man has forgotten how to relax
and how to enjoy all the leisure time he has
so let's try to solve this problem of modern man
by simple arithmetic
first, there are the evenings
the leisure hours between work and bedtime
in a year, these evening hours
equal 87 full days of leisure
weekends add 104 days each year
and our annual vacation gives us another 14 days of leisure
so not counting thick leaves, holidays, coffee breaks
just plain goofing off
we have a total of 205 days to relax
so let's start with what an average man does with his evenings
when the day's toil is over and the clock nears 5
our hero looks forward to an evening of well earned rest and relaxation
reluctantly, he wends his way to the time clock
the zero hour approaches
nine
eight
seven
six
five
four
three
two
one
oh, quick, push him
move over
stop, lay off
hey, wait for me
move over
let him pass
music
now home is our hero, his leisure to keep
wound up too tightly, too nervous to sleep
with tensions and worries and nothing to do
but sit in a chair, his brains in a stew
worn down to a nub
it's a hobby to choose
so get one
hurry, there's no time to lose
hobbyists come in a wide assortment of shapes, sizes and enthusiasms
there are the collectors
those eager beavers who collect stamps
and teeth
rare button
and some even save
string
then there are the creative hobbyists
the amateur artists
the city gardeners
and photographers
photography, now there's a hobby
an inexpensive and most relaxing hobby
of course, even for the beginner, a few minor bits of equipment and attachments are necessary
meters, photo floods, tripods, reducer, enlarger, printer, developer, hypo, paper, cutter, trimmer, bucket, pan, water, bulbs, lights, gloves, boots, trays, powder, reflector and camera
with these few inexpensive items, the ardent amateur photographer is ready to pursue his hobby
let's see
what's this?
cough
gosh
a lady
cough
yeah
whoa
whoo
cough
and in conclusion, we often find a simple hobby is not only a source of great personal satisfaction
but also proves an ideal method of relaxation
for everyone
and now for weekends
two whole days to relax
weekends spent at home are one of the favorite periods for relaxation
especially for the avid do-it-yourself fans
today, do-it-yourselfing has become big business
it's easy to construct your own hi-fi set
your own railroad
build a toll bridge
even a skyscraper
nothing is beyond the realm of possibility
all you have to do is fill out the attached coupon
drop it in the nearest mailbox
a short wait for delivery
and you're on your way to fun and relaxation assembling your favorite put-it-together kit
of course, these kits come complete with an enclosed book of instructions on how to fly a glider
yeah, nothing to it
first test the prevailing winds by means of the windsock
then choose the proper terrain and make sure the takeoff is clear of any obstacles
particularly trees and telephone poles
cough
die, die, don't die, die, die
here goes my glider and I, I, I
turn into the wind
test your equipment
and take off
faster, faster
more speed, more speed
don't let minor mishaps mar your enthusiasm
keep trying, for there are many other ways to enjoy your leisure
today the family garage has become a machine shop filled with lathes, drills, saws, jigs, augers
in fact, power tools of every description
but all this elaborate equipment isn't really necessary
the resourceful do-it-yourselfer only needs a few simple tools and the urge to tinker
there is only one unbreakable rule for tinkering
never finish any project you start
this rule applies to painting floors
doing your own wallpapering
decorating
easy remodeling jobs
repairing furniture
fixing leaky pipes
or for the more courageous, fixing the television set
tinkering not only provides the tinkerer with much needed relaxation
it is also a prime source of revenue for the professional repairman
who must necessarily follow the tinkerer
for statistics show us, the average handyman about the house
creates more havoc and destruction than the combined efforts of termites
tornadoes, flood, fire and water
but the rabid do-it-yourselfer is not easily discouraged
he is a man of far-ranging dreams
of balding ambitions
sometimes these ambitions lure him into some spectacular home remodeling project like
adding a room
a den of his own
designed as a perfect haven to relax
of course there are a few minor details to take care of
filing your legal description
title search
easements
deeds
zoning laws
oil and mineral rights
building permits
soil tests
contracts
electrical and plumbing codes
just be sure these necessary items are taken care of
or you might find yourself out on a limb
not me
boy
the start of all building projects as anyone knows
begins with the blueprints
and soon the enthusiastic do-it-yourselfer finds himself all wrapped up in his plans
as time goes on don't allow temporary setbacks to discourage you
just continue doing your level best
the spirit level is an indispensable tool which guarantees precise alignment of construction
it's amazingly simple to use even in the hands of a novice
hmm
boys
and as our building progresses our confidence increases
the period of trial and error is over
each new problem is approached with a sureness gained by experience
hey
oh
ah yes
the setting of the window glass is a very simple task
if one uses a little care
a little patience
a little skill
common sense
and with a lot of luck
everything seems to fall into place
hmm
painting is also one of the most self-satisfying methods of relaxing
slow and easy with each brush stroke
soothing the mind and nerves of the do-it-yourselfer
ah yes there's nothing like painting to get the most out of your creative leisure
hmm
oh
beep beep beep
beep beep
and when at last his dreams have been transformed by words
into reality
the happy do-it-yourselfer is ready to enjoy the results of his hobby
where he can enjoy to the utmost
the gentle heart of Moses
ah but there's much more to do on weekends than just staying home
yes indeed
the leisure hours of Saturdays and Sundays are ideally suited for the weekend sports
these hardy souls go in for the more vigorous type of relaxation
out in the wide open spaces where one is well to sleep by the gentle sounds of nature
ah yes there is nothing but the joy of sleeping in the great outer doors
arising at the crack of dawn completely relaxed
as we go
humbly filling our lungs with a sure, in-verified mountain air
so much healthier than the smog and artificial ozone of a crowded city
and then of course there's nothing to compare with duck hunting
ah the clarion call so beloved by the enthusiastic Nimrod
this form of recreation is an excellent way of relaxing for everyone
except perhaps for the duck
for the more sedate devotees of leisure there is always horseback riding
ah yes from office seats to paddle for those who prefer their exercise sitting down
wind in your face, blowing away tension, strain and worry
and so at a leisurely pace one has time to contemplate the beauty and tranquility of nature
but the weekend athlete doesn't have to travel far afield for his relaxation
just around the corner in any city he'll find beautiful parks with well-kept tennis courts
to indulge in his favorite recreation
here on a beautiful court he can meet in friendly competition the kinsman soul
willing to play with the spirit of sportsmanship prevailing
forgotten is the grim reality of their daily grind
forgotten is the joy of their favorite sport
here on the court it's not the winning so much as the game that counts
a game that gladdens the hearts of the happy contestants
free in the thought that they're achieving that mystical something
happy, carefree leisure and complete relaxation
no matter which way the ball bounces
here at the beach what more ideal spot is there for those who dare conquer the restless waves
with a brisk invigorating dip in the briny
among the restless seekers of leisure we find the surf riders
that lucky group devoted to wooing the spirit of relaxation
here with complete abandon faithfully aside the surfboard they joyously ride the whistling waves
here
meanwhile for those who don't care for aquatic leisure there's always the mountain
where one may find peace of mind and a genuine spot for relaxation
here among the majestic peaks of the snow-covered mountains
amidst the winter grandeur of nature one finds the skier
dedicated to enjoying the winter sport of skiing
pronounced sheeer
with a joyous elantra shroom
and he's into a series of high-speed Christianis
swooping gracefully downward
but as you may have noticed weekend athletics have a tendency to stoke in the weekend athletes between weekends
to avoid this well-known authorities on the subject of leisure and relaxation
suggest some less strenuous hobby like spectator sports
where you sit back and watch somebody else eating
true relaxation
well ladies and gentlemen here we are out at the elite deluxe sports palace
about to witness one of the biggest ice hockey games of the season
bringing together two of the top ranking teams in the league
in no other game is the feeling of competition so keen
affecting both players and spectators alike
turning casual friends into bitter enemies
tonight's game looks like a sellout
a capacity crowd of thousands of rabid sports-loving hockey fans has turned out to cheer for their favorite teams
yes sir the stands are filling up
they're really packing them in
well it seems there have been a few last minute changes in the starting liners
get your pencils ready
now instead of hannah left-wing spellings will start
put the gradi in place of williams center then burg over aliquist
and at left defense pacormac replaces dunham
at goal the angan takes the place of nichols and
oh yes the teams will be the looselees versus the anteaters
instead of the moose and pelicans
all right the teams are skating out onto the ice
listen to that ovation
and here come the two stars of their teams
icebox vertino and fearless ferguson
a heated rivalry has developed between these two boys
both are tied for the top league scoring honors
and tonight's game will be the payoff
as these boys go so go their clubs
the referee for tonight will be that popular arbiter clean game kinney
a favor to the fans
the entire responsibility of the game rests squarely on the shoulders of the referee
this keen-eyed individual will follow the course of play so closely
that sometimes it seems he must have eyes in the back of his head
oh a penalty
there go the guilty players into the penalty box
with these stars out the complexion of the entire game may be changed
a hush of expectancy settles over the crowd as the teams line up for the face-off
the referee drops the puck and the game is on
there goes the puck over the blue line passed out of the right wing
check by the opposing left wing who passes the puck back to the right defense
it's cutting in fast picking the puck off the board now back to the left wing and pivots around the center
there's a scramble for possession
Moose has got it
he's down the ice tries for a shot at the net but the goalie puts up a stout defense
knocking it away for a beautiful save
here comes Collin Negrotti fighting for the puck
there's the shot and he scores
no no no look at that stop
nothing ever gets past that goalie
oh
Moose is cleared on the rink
it's taken by McCormick McCormick to pass it over the blue line
over to Murray Murray cutting over the loop
please defense he tries to draw the goalie out of position
there's a shot and and and and
nice save fellow
Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!
what am I saying?
the puck shoots out the center right
both teams are battling furiously for possession
here come Bertino and Ferguson out of the penalty box
and there go Bertino and Ferguson back into the penalty box
Moose please take the play away
I'll take the pass over the right wing
come on!
and there's the buzzer running the first period
in order to give the cash customers a chance to sit in their seats
there are 10 minute rest between periods
and there's the buzzer starting the second stanza
the team's taken to the ice
the puck is faced off there's a pass out to the side
the loose leaves come up with the play
here comes McCormick cutting down the side
that boy's sure burning up the ice
spinning like a top he crosses the blue line
the defense closes in
wow! they really laid it into him
Hooray for Raleigh!
here come Bertino and Ferguson out of the penalty box
and there go Bertino and Ferguson back into the penalty box
there's a pass out to Bond
and here he comes swinging wide with a blinding versus speed
he makes up his bond
slides his way through
Bob kept him fast
picked up the puck
and there he goes
there's another shot
and another
the goalie has the situation well in hand
no, no!
he nuts the old man for a score
a score, a score, a score, a score
and he just won
the loose leaves nothing
well, ladies and gentlemen
that score might be enough to put the game on ice
they line up for the face off
the game is over
there's a scramble
the puck is forced against the side
here come Bertino and Ferguson out of the penalty box
and there go Bertino and Ferguson back into the penalty box
coming up to the blue line it's
whoo!
he's right down the tree trying to knock the count
and the goalie boots it away
as the crowd loses its mind
here's the play
Mohawk projects it away from Williams
intercepted by Shaw
passed behind Allen
goes to the speed
and there goes Wright right down the middle
he shoots
the referee is in the way
there's another nice save at the net
he clears the puck
but it's too hot to handle
now both teams are fighting it out on the ice
this is anybody's game
Riley shoots
McCormick shoots
Bird shoots
Pugley shoots
Weaver shoots
Degrote shoots
Stup shoots
Nolly shoots
Bushman shoots
everybody shoots
there's a score
and another
scoring game
Star is shooting
Moor is shooting
Toeballman shoots
Zahler shoots
Krakus star is shooting
the score is handing out
3-0-26
3-27
3-28
3-29
3-30
3-31
3-2-3
3-3-3-4
3-4-5
3-4-7
And one of the joys of driving along at a leisurely pace is that one meets such interesting people.
Well, give me a lift, mister.
Hmm.
No radio, no heater, tires thin, needs paint, sold a model.
Forget it.
Unhurriedly motoring o'er the rolling countryside, pausing for a moment, masking in the sun
as we drink in the surrounding atmosphere.
And away we go, joyously pursuing our quest for leisure.
Ta-ta, trailer!
A slight detour and, uh, and we are rewarded by a majestic view.
As the setting sun dips below the blue horizon, the weary traveler seeks a place to rest.
No vacancy, no vacancy, no vacancy, no vacancy, oh, no vacancy.
Hmm, it's empty.
Hey!
Hey, go back here!
Wait for me!
Hey!
Go back!
Hey!
At last, a haven of rest, a cozy cottage with all the comforts of home.
And one is quickly lulled to sleep by the gentle sounds of the night.
I'm getting all of this here, boys.
And then the pleasure of night driving.
Passing cars gaily salute us on our way with lights that gleam with crystal clearance.
And what a relief to get away from the noisy nightlife of this big city.
Hey, why don't you watch for your eyes?
Hey!
Hmm, that's my car.
Pull over to the side.
And finally, the perfect haven for rest and relaxation.
But all good things must come to an end, so it's back once again to the old grind.
Back to the good old workaday world, refreshed in body and spirit.
Yeah, ready to join the teeming multitudes hurrying to their jobs.
Oh, boy, back to the familiar office where one is greeted by one's coworkers.
You're late, Geese. Get to work!
Back in harness again, happily pitching in the make-up for vacations lost time.
You're killing time, Geese. Get to work!
But he's not killing time. Time is killing him.
And as the days slip by, a secret urge grows within him.
An urge to escape, to get away from it all, off to some faraway, trophic isle.
Yes, deep within every man is this desire to escape, to shake off the tensions of modern day living.
And so, a tiny coral island took this Malahini, this stranger, to its heart.
On this isle of exotic beauty, where time stands still.
Worry that was never meant to be, cast all your troubles in the trophic sea.
The sunlight and starlight are all for free. It's the place for a man to be.
Hurry, hurry, come along with me. Down where the breeze is sighing tenderly.
The music you hear from the rolling sea. Here's the place for a man like me.
You're fired? Oh yeah? I quit!
With this final gesture, Malahini Geese bids aloha to his old life.
Here, a kind and friendly providence has made it easy to obtain shelter.
And here, in a holly or house of his own creation, gentle winds whisper, sleep, sleep.
Here in the night time, come the tiptoe footfalls of trophic rain.
Caressing, soothing, like a lullaby, and kindly life loving nature beams down upon him.
So it was here, amidst the confines of the gods, that Geese knew he had found his paradise complete.
And with life's necessities so bountifully provided, Geese has the time a man needs for relaxation and thoughtful meditation.
Amid this trophic tranquility, he is able to release a long stifled ambition to paint.
And at long last, he is free to write his novel.
Hello!
Gay music tells of festivities, saying, heli my wiki wiki, come to the luau.
Gathered from the profusion of nature's storehouse is Niu Waiu, the milk of the coconut.
Hala Kehiki, the pineapple.
Fresh breadfruit.
Delicacies from the sea.
Shark fin soup.
Topped with the soothing elixir of the luau, the bromo uki.
Yes, in the words of venerable Ikanee, last of the ancient priests,
Ke ala ikapu uvai a iamakaoku, or the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
But there is still more.
Lovely Polynesian wahinis, dancing to the lilting and expressive language of the hula.
The malahini's eyes follow the rhythmic hands that weave a happy tale of the islands.
Telling a story of the coming of a great white god, now is the time for rejoicing.
The honored guests, so the gods say, for it is he and he alone who can appease angry Peli, the fire goddess.
And so a sacrificial tribute must be offered by the simple, lovable, hospitable islanders.
Keith knew the friendly natives wouldn't throw him to the volcano, but they did.
Aloha!
Hey, Goofy.
Goofy! Wake up!
Huh?
You gonna work all night?
You're sleeping on your own time.
Oh, gosh!
Immersion!