Hey! We're on our way, Concealaday!
Great big family celebration!
Beautiful occasion, haven't we, Conceal?
Oh, no! Is it our country?
Lots of friends are far away.
Everyone went up to stay.
Got a couple of guys.
They'll come, you'll see the video.
Got so much stuff to show you.
It's Concealaday!
Beautiful!
La la la la!
Sorry, didn't mean to frighten you.
I tell you what, it's true, isn't it?
You're the famous one, the Jenny Morris, the rock star, you know?
It's true, it's true.
Beautiful!
You have a great voice.
Oh, thank you, that's nice.
I hoped you would say that because, you know, I've been working on my new song.
What do you think?
What do you think? You like it?
I want to hear a bit more, hey?
Oh, well, sort of thing like,
Show girls look like all ladies' bums.
La la la la la la la!
Ha ha!
Doesn't matter.
What do you think, you know?
It's a great song.
From what I've heard, I'd like to hear more words, maybe?
Well, I'm trying to take a look at your book, you know?
Like in your songs, you always know the first few words, but never the rest.
Well, not you personally, but all the people who will listen, you know?
Like?
Like, what, like, but I can't, ah!
La la la la la la!
Whatever, you know?
That's a pretty good idea, you know?
That would help me cut down the time it takes to do an album.
Well, people never know all the words to this song.
Breaking the weather, la la la la la la!
Thanks, Conor!
Yeah, do it your own.
La la la la la!
Breaking the weather, la la la la la!
Hey! Hello, gentlemen, how are you today?
You know, it always gives me a real thrill,
a real warm feeling
to see happy customers.
I want to see you happy. I know how to make you happy too
I'll show you some happy movies what I made of my family. I got such a big family. Same like Marika
We both got big families my family's like octopus. You know an octopus got them eight
What do you call it? They're my
Testicles my funny got the my tis was going out in all different directions Marika's to because cousins everywhere family everywhere
That's what we go and make a movie about them. So when you come and have a look at the thin I tell you what?
I'm inspired you know from talking to Jenny. Maybe I do a song for you later
Beautiful come on in everybody
Oh
Hello, how are you today? Don't look at my mess. Sorry just clearing up, please. You're very welcome
Go sit down make yourself comfortable
sorry
Got me. Yeah, okay
Now we come in we sit in we have something to eat beautiful. We watch some videos
So what's your point I might have a good this one, this is Marika. I'm in the all country
Marika part of this the place
Fine if I had to say that send related
Oh
You should we stand here come I know
Central eating bad anything who was going to be the donkey. I just said well now the old block at the front
He's got a wonky end of dog. He's on his end get him to white
Hey, Mike, why Mike? You got a wonky end my wife? Why do you want the end? You got one? Oh?
I don't remember that one that happened the same days me on deafy birthday party my aunt
If he is my mother's pretty young sister. He's 86
Happy birthday to you happy birthday to you happy birthday
Blowin blowin oh that they come in they go
You know it's funny after that nobody fell I desert
Doesn't matter was all the more for me
That reminds me I must remember to who is it?
Hey, I'm not sure you're gonna send these back to him. How long you have them she's been looking for them
Believe this she put on a liquid only died for weeks now
I think you can have to be squeezed to a sock for him there because of the hot empty and you got it all the time
Sometimes you make me so cross I could do speed
Doesn't matter
Not at that time we could go to the communion of our friends daughter Helen
Little Helen the happiest girl in the world
Also, they clumsy is good in the world
This is his brother Tony the unluckiest boy in the world
Tony had never been on a farm before I tell you what he had a ball
started the horse
One day shortly after we arrived my uncle Jimmy organized a traditional barbecue for Marika and me
Which was a very nice thing for him to do
Then he do this
This is a very stupid thing to do. I know make everything very greedy
You go college a fighter. I'm I just don't
Want why you snitch it like that? Can't you white?
I made this for us until you can't even wait for that
What do you do it put it there? I'm up on another one. Don't squeeze it like that. Oh this one broken
But that's it. No more for you. Put them down. No, I will eat them myself
No, you can't have them. That's annoying me now. You can't have any more. Normally I have to put on a certain video. What type?
This one. No, you won't. No don't. No don't put it on. Come on don't. Put it down. I'm putting them down there look
They're there and you can have them. Don't put the type on. Come on. It's going in. Don't put it on. I can't help myself
I'm on a roll. It's going in right now
It's in
He's going in right now. It's in. He's so excited. He's going to the party. My first party in the holiday. Look at me dress. I feel so pretty like a princess
Who's got a man go party in Salonica? So many parties. So we borrowed this car
Come on
Get in. Oh
Just get in. Oh yeah. Okay you're in
Thanks for going to no trouble or expense with the car. Come on. Oh I love startup
Let's go. Here we go. I'm not going to get cross now. I'm just going to be happy because I'm in a happy mood for the party
Thank you. Put on the neutral first. No. Neutral. What are you doing? Oh come on love we're running light
Okay let's go
Oh no. Go on. Oh look out Barito. Look out. Swim. Swim.
Oh I don't believe it. When I say swim I mean swim away from it not into it. I don't believe it
Why does it still look all right? Why does it still look all right for the party?
Oh, it's just a little bit. So anyway we finally get to my uncle's birthday party despite everything
despite Marika's driving. Why you so rude? I'm a good driver. Oh come on I'm only joking. I'm only joking
Oh it doesn't matter. It turns out we're a little early for the party anyway. Three months too early
because them threes and eights they all look alike especially when you spill red cino on the invitation
Anyway doesn't matter. We was on a holiday and there's lots to see but it's not easy getting around
in a foreign country even if it was your own country particularly when the local people don't want you to go
Once you get the straws out of Marika's face and head we had a beautiful day
There's our cousin not wanting us to leave especially in their car. Great little car no
bumps no straw unfortunately also not thread on the tires. Beautiful. Additionally we used to have
this sort of stupid game when we was kids. We get the poles and we try and jump over the river
So I thought I'm gonna have a go myself. Here's me coming up soon. I think I'm the next one here
Have a look at this. That's me there and down I go
Oh
8 30 tonight
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What?
Split with a 600 mil Coca-Cola and get your own cool split t-shirt. Just send him 20 labels
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Hey Marika what's the shock and smell? You're not cooking tongue again are you?
No oh yes I am I'm cooking it but that's not the smell. No the smell is too loud. He practiced in his
beautician course the correspondence course again you know waxing one of his friends.
Oh no if it's that this pain I should be in there all day.
I know it's a bit stinky.
Sorry Mark listen don't let the horrible stench put you off your kikes. Speaking of food you know one
of the most important things you can do when traveling is eating especially eating with a
family unless of course you eat with Marika's family because then it can be life threatening.
Look at this. Next day we have a nice quiet dinner with Marika's family. Meanwhile the cousins
are playing the other room. Beautiful kid his only child. Anyway down goes the line
and then up goes the salad. I don't know what they're putting the dressing. Petrol maybe but then
they're so stupid. Look look what they're doing now. They're trying to put it out with a good wine.
What are they doing now? They're trying to put it out with a good wine. Five bucks a bottle mate. Meanwhile
the only child wants to stay out. Unbelievable. Now this is a typical family meal I believe.
So I keep eating from the rest of the family but this one this take a cake. Here's the traditional
way of preparing the food. You lay it all out. This is just the entree by the way but doesn't matter.
You lift it up you carry it over to the people they're all waiting the mouth is running
drooling drooling drooling and then just to the point when you arrive down they go. Unbelievable.
Here we are in the hall of the best boss. Every one of Marika's cousins they're all lesbians these
people. We're having a beautiful time. Next minute we know for a second what's going on.
Someone is trying to give the staff an extra thing. Hey over you go. We keep telling the kid
to use the lemon. Use the lemon. Use the lemon. Unbelievable. Yeah fool. Dad are you still watching
those videos? Well maybe I am and maybe I'm not. You used to pulling at your girlfriend's
hairs with that stinky stinky sticky stuff. Well not exactly. Oh jeez your girlfriend's
getting uglier and uglier. My best friend Brad you know the one who likes to have nice smooth legs.
Your name is Brad? Yep. Like bread and butter? A bit like that yeah. Oh nice to meet you man.
Nice to meet you too Con. So tell me what you do for a living? Play football. That's nice I like
a block who's into sport I play cards. What do you do for money? Oh that's it that's me living.
Dad he's the captain of the kangaroos. The kangaroos? Yeah. The wallabies is smaller than
kangaroos isn't it? Yeah we're the big ones. So you're the biggest of the big ones? Yeah.
I like the little short ones. Dad he makes more money playing one game of footy than you do in a
whole year. Oh Tula I want you to go upstairs put on a skivvy. I want to talk to your future husband.
So tell me Brad what sort of football you play? Play rugby league. Rugby league? Yep. Oh you play
with the pointy ball? Yeah it's been sort of pointy at the ends. All right so how do you play the game?
Yeah you chuck the ball backwards and run forward and score a try. So why do you chuck it away?
You try to win the game. Well I don't get it. Let's start at the beginning you get a ball.
Yeah you get a ball. You get the ball you run him with the ball. Yeah. What happens then you
bounce in the ball. No you can't bounce it. You can't bounce it. You gotta pass it. But how do you get a try?
You put the ball over the line. You put the ball over the line the back line? Yeah the front line
the one in front. How do you put the ball over the front line when you keep on chucking it backwards?
You're allowed to run forward with it. You're allowed to run forward with it so why do you chuck it
backwards at all? So you give it to the other person so you don't get tackled. Oh you're gonna share it around?
I hope not. Okay so you got a pointy ball. You run him with a pointy ball. Running running running but
you're not allowed to bounce the ball. Not allowed to bounce it. Suddenly you see a big ugly block.
You could be like all black like this and all of a sudden you gotta chuck the ball away. Yeah. So you're chucking
the ball the wrong way but you're running forward towards the line. Yeah. You got the ball over the line.
You get a try. You get six points. Yeah. What do you do with the ball then? Then you roll the ball
between your legs and start to love it again. You roll it between your legs and start to love it again.
Okay good boy. What a good boy he is. Have a wonderful time. Put your jacket on. Have a wonderful time
and I'll see you back here very early tonight. Okay. Beautiful. Lovely to meet you Brett.
All the best. Bye Dad. Bye sweet heart. Have a lovely time. See you Dad. It's a lovely fascinating
sound on game isn't it? Look at you in a league of his own.
Beautiful. I love it when romance is in the air isn't it? You remember I used to sing to Marika
when we was very young you know. I would sing to you serenade you. You remember? Yeah I remember.
But now you used to think that we was like strangling cats. I don't remember that. You remember.
Yeah I remember. Love this everywhere.
Love this everywhere. Even when I'm looking down. Love is everywhere. What are you talking about?
See sir love is in the air. I'm making up my own words. If you're going to sing it you might get the
words right. It's not love is everywhere. Up, down, in and out. It's completely stupid.
I'm in the right. Oh it doesn't matter. Look I have to get you in the romantic mood too. Have a look at this.
Love is everywhere. Even rolling on the ground.
Love is everywhere. When I'm leaping across the crowd.
Maybe I'm being foolish. Maybe I'm not being wise.
But I'm telling you my that donkey cam is such a surprise.
Love is everywhere.
Round round get around. I get around.
I get around.
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The smell of the roast pork coming out of the oven was a lot of food.
This is real takeaway.
Except you can't just take it away, remember?
We're going short.
You're not on a holiday. It's amazing, isn't it?
It's always so busy. There's so much to do.
So much resting, sleeping, eating.
Hi Marika, look at this one.
Remember this one? This Rick's Boast Eye.
That Morris Boast Eye we went to.
You mean the one that you went to?
Oh that's right, yeah.
You just thought you went to stay at home and do some women's stuff, you know?
Yeah, like chance the oil clean the diff.
I remember this one.
All these kids are in such a hurry to get some of these guys.
Money, I think, from this rice is the one that plays when I get into hospitals.
Have a look at this.
Oh no, look at this woman.
His first time on a scooter.
Oh my cigar.
Oh this is a good one. What's this?
Oh he's down there. There he goes.
You don't laugh at things like that.
Don't worry love, I'm not laughing with him.
I'm laughing at him.
Oh, that's alright then.
Hey, this one is a beauty. Have a look at this.
Oh no, this is Socrates.
Marika's long lost cousin, but we unfortunately found.
He knows everything there is to know about the racing game.
When to accelerate, when to slow down, when to steer left or right.
The only thing you don't know about is when to get out of the way.
Oh no, Marika's other cousin.
He's a circus this blood.
He does all the things himself. He's a strong man and a clown.
I won't tell you what he does for the encore.
Oh no, my cousin Philip's boy.
Look at this. Humiliation on top of a wedgie.
Shock him.
Oh, get him off.
He won't be right these past four weeks, you know.
Philip's boys is good boys.
Stupid yes, but good.
They put their toe on their boat when they have trouble with their car.
Oh boys, listen, put the handbrake on.
What you say to them?
I said put the handbrake on boys.
You better listen to him. Oh my gosh.
Put the handbrake on.
Put the doors, put the doors.
What are you looking up for?
What you pointing up there for?
That's right, point on the water.
Okay, we've seen the water, we know we're on the water.
We're the cousins, there I am.
Get together, close together.
Get together, we're filming.
Move up, close to him. Okay, that's right.
Look out! Oh my goodness, he fell over.
Quick, give me the camera.
What you gonna do?
I'm gonna film her, what do you reckon I'm gonna do?
Oh, there he is now in the water.
Go save him, save him.
I'll just forget it, someone save him, he's got something there.
You know, this one reminds me of honeymoon.
Don't be so rude.
You and me and your mother.
Come on, let's get in the bags.
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Jean-Claude Van Damme in the action stunner of the year.
You can bet it.
Point it.
Hold the trigger.
And boom.
Time Cop next.
Oh, I remember this bloke Fulukwu is the pajama salesman.
This bloke he tells everyone, all the tourists, that this is traditional wear, pajamas.
And he's sneaky.
He's sewed up the front.
Well, he had to because he had to get rid of the gap.
Because too many tourists didn't have to like hoike them around so they got the bad guys in the dangles.
But since when is wearing pajama pants traditional anywhere?
I've been having a look at the kids.
I'm wearing baseball t-shirts and nikes.
What can he say about that?
He's crazy this bloke.
Listen to this.
Your wife is very pretty and you're a lucky man because you have one beautiful woman.
Do you understand me what I say?
I understand.
One man who has one beautiful woman is a lucky man.
And you're super lucky.
Come on.
Have you eaten all the Tim Tams from the chocolate rolls?
No, I haven't.
No.
Wait a minute.
Marika, you've got to put him on a higher shelf in future.
He even had him hidden at the back.
She must have answered no ringer thing.
Look at them here.
It's great to be home, you know.
Doesn't matter.
Hi, Marika.
Come here.
Remember the one we took at the wedding?
I took this one at the wedding.
I filmed my cousins tavern and spezzies.
Business was not so good.
We put in some attractions.
A bucket bull machine, a window and a toilet.
It was a big hit.
Everyone in the village is using the toilet.
Except for this woman.
Marika, come and look at this.
This woman has been on the bucket blocker now for about, well, when we arrived, it was six hours.
Look at this.
Watch the wobble start.
It's starting, starting, starting.
You think you're seeing wobble now.
But Marika was wobbling for a couple of days after she got off that.
Oh, my.
Oh, no.
My mother's younger sister.
Oh, what about this one?
The stupid exam student.
Hey, you're going to get down now.
This is Marika's brother in La Costa.
He's in the Greek army.
They tell me they've got a very strict rule on drinking.
You only do it when you're on duty.
There you go.
Oh, no.
Too much red Sienna for him.
That's right.
Push him into that thing.
That's how if no one sees him.
Oh, and by the way, your mother wants some money to go buy a great big tin of biscuits.
I don't know how much she wants.
Please give it to him.
Trust me, it'll be about 15 bucks.
I know about these things.
When you know about money, you know that pretty much everything costs 15 bucks a kilo.
Avocados, 15 bucks a kilo.
Meat, good steak, 15 bucks a kilo.
Meat truck weighs just under two tons.
Cost me 27,000 bucks.
That's 15 bucks a kilo.
I bought this new couch.
Beautiful.
66 kilo.
Cost me 1,000 bucks.
15 bucks a kilo.
This whole house, it cost me 300,000 bucks.
Weighs 200 tons.
That's 15 bucks a kilo.
And enough of what it cost me.
We lost, too.
It should have weighed about 35 kilos.
Well, it doesn't matter.
Thanks for coming to visit Marika and me.
And please now make sure you come back to see some more of us and the beautiful holiday videos next week, okay?
In the meantime, happy birthday, good luck to your family.
When we fly to Greece, we go Olympic Airways.
Katastouris arrange everything.
When I stay in Sydney, I stay at the Kelt and Crest Hotels.
Sanjo, that's life.
Unfortunately, that's not focus.
Marika, get a move on.
Fix the focus up.
Stop moving around.
Just fix the focus.
I'm crying.
Well, try a bit harder.
I want to see Mykonos.
Come on.
Wait a minute.
Who is all these people?
I don't know.
I never heard of them.
Doesn't matter.
Get the focus right because I want to see the island.
We only got to Mykonos for one week and look at you.
And after time trying to...
Are you focusing on people who are moving?
Stop it.
Just look at the top of the buildings.
I want to see the blue.
The beautiful blue matching the Aegean.
That's better.
To hell with that.
Oh, here's that American tourist again.
Look like she can't stop.
Mind you, I don't think she want to.
And there's my Uncle Alex.
Very proud to show on this young girl the finer points of riding the bull.
You can tell he's hyped with this.
Now there's two ways of getting off.
Carefully or like this.