From New York, this is a Daily Show Newsbreak. Now, John Stewart.
Here's what the gang over at the slag pit is working on for tonight's program.
New York State bans the use of handheld cell phones while driving.
But you can still use the headset because looking like a dork, that's still permitted.
Plus, what kind of state changes its name to attract more tourism?
I'll tell you what kind.
The stupid kind.
Talking to you, North Dakota.
Hey, there's big news at 7-Eleven.
It's the new Big Bite Combo.
Delicious Big Bite Hot Dog made by Oscar Mayer.
With three chili and cheese.
Whatever you want.
Ice cold gulp.
And a big grab of chips.
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It's a bigger, better summer.
The earliest currency known to man was the human tooth.
Motors, bicuspids, incisors, all had value.
Of course, given such a limited resource, one had to budget one's teeth.
Some failed to grasp this concept.
They ultimately starved to death.
Some people need help budgeting.
The Discover Card with Budget Management Tools.
To the slightly smarter consumer.
On July 6th, kiss.
Fear.
Goodbye.
Kiss of the Dragon.
Rated R. July 6th.
Only in theaters.
How to speak Australian.
R. July 6th.
Only in theaters.
Therapy.
Fear.
Wim your chance for 14 days of Australian Therapy with Bostralia 2001.
2001. Look for details wherever Foster's is sold. Sunday on an all-new Man Show. Adam and
Jimmy spread their love. If you could pass a message on to the recipients of your semen,
what would that message be? Wash your hands. The Man Show. New episode Sunday at 10, only
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Bots is brought to you by Kingsford Charcoal, because taste is everything. Does anyone here
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in theaters. Don't you just love waiting for the sun to go down to use your wireless phone?
I mean, what could you possibly have to say during the hours you're actually awake? The
most whenever minutes, only from Voicestream.
On an all new South Park, he's big, he's gay, and he's back. How are you doing today?
Don't miss the gayest South Park ever. Tomorrow night at 10, only on Comedy Central. You can't.
Bots can. The bots are back and ready to rock. With one full hour of brand new metal on metal
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starts next Tuesday at 10, only on Comedy Central, the leader in robotics sports. You ready for
a cold one? Yeah. It's cold, but it ain't Coors Light. Coors Light tasty. You don't
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They hate us, you know, the humans. We are suffering for the mistakes they made because
when the end comes, all that will be left is us. Rated PG-13. Starts Friday. Hey, there's
big news at 7-Eleven. It's the new Big Bite Combo. Delicious Big Bite Hot Dog made by
Oscar Mayer. With three chili and cheese. Whatever you want. Ice cold gulp. And a big grab of
chips. All for just $1.99. It's a bigger, better summer. You ready for a cold one? Yeah. It's
cold. It's not Coors Light. Coors Light. Tasty. Phew. Somebody had fish for lunch. Keep it
here for more Metal on Metal action with another episode of BattleBots, followed by The Daily
Show with Jon Stewart, only on Comedy Central. I think my gimmick to interviewing are two
basic things. I don't like to be overly prepared, and I don't think listening is important.
Primetime Glick with Martin Short. New episodes Wednesdays at 10-30 after an all-new South
Park only on Comedy Central. Introducing new Armor All-Protectant Wipes. Armor All shine
in protection, now in a wipe. The earliest currency known to man was the human tooth.
Molders, bicuspids, incisors, all had value. Of course, given such a limited resource,
one had to budget one's teeth. Some failed to grasp this concept. They ultimately starved
to death. Some people need help budgeting. The Discover Card with budget management tools.
A slightly smarter consumer. Why so many Days In hotels near airports? So you don't have
to worry about where to stay. No matter where you touch down. Days In. There you go. Well,
it's that time of year again, and you're stuck in the heat watching the mercury rise. Want
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All summer long. Comedy Central Summer Film Festival presents, for the first time on network
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bots are back and ready to rock. Past champions defend their crowns against more than 300
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the leader in robotics sports. Let's look at what makes the dome structure of great
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So, an amazing number of people or things can actually fit in a relatively small area.
With such an efficient design, it's a wonder domes aren't seen more often today.
Hey, there's big news at 7-Eleven. It's the new Big Bite Combo. Delicious Big Bite Hot
Dog made by Oscar Mayer. From Chillion Cheese. Whatever you want. Ice cold gulp. And a big
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the Peabody Award winning The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Then it's Saturday Night Live.
Only on Comedy Central. You ready for a cold one? Yeah. It's cold. But it ain't Coors Light.
Coors Light. Tasty. I need new friends. Now you can rent all new releases or anything else
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Buy a Whopper, get free fries. Buy a Whopper, get free fries. I think we need to go to Burger
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in the information economy and ask about our free government grants book. Coming up next,
schools forcing children to play a deadly game. Gym class should not be Lord of the
Flies. Stephen Colbert's heart-hitting dodgeball expose. The Daily Show with John
Stewart coming up next only on Comedy Central. Comedy Central Summer Film Festival
presents for the first time on network television, Very Bad Things. When a bachelor party
gets way out of hand, friends start to lose their heads. The network television premiere
of Very Bad Things, Sunday at 8. You ready for a cold one? Yeah.