Treat performance, pay no interest ever, and cash your violence.
It's all good at your local Buick dealer.
Stay out of my stuff.
Stay out of my movies.
Stay out of my game.
Stay out of my world.
Tell Big Tobacco.
Stay out of my mom.
Salgan de mi mente.
Stay out of my world.
Stay out of my room.
Stay out of my body.
Stay out.
Stay out of my life.
Tell Big Tobacco.
Stay out.
Don't let them in.
Tell Big Tobacco.
Not for sale.
Jerry's dating a lip reader.
It's like having Superman for your friend.
I know.
It's like extra vision.
On the next...
Stop!
Tonight at 11 on Fox 5.
Get up, get up, get up, get up.
Put the body in motion.
Get up, get up, get up, put the body in motion.
Get up, get up, get up, put the body in motion.
Do it just like all the commotion.
Don't care.
Wind it up, baby.
Woo!
You make it fun.
You make it good.
You make it one big neighborhood.
You make it all just go together.
Dr. Pepper, you make the world taste better.
Dr. Pepper makes the world taste better.
You make the world taste better.
And we all, we all, Dr. Pepper, you make the world taste better.
Dr. Pepper makes the world taste better.
Yeah, come on.
My can's about to fit, but I don't tear up.
I put on a happy face.
Need a rabies shot, but I cheer up.
I need body work and an X-ray.
When modern nation problems me, I'm an shit and wife.
And I'm yours, hey, hey, hey, I go high.
When I spin, I'm getting back cash.
All over the place, so I'm gonna have it right.
Discover card with cash back bonus for the slightly smarter consumer.
Okay, so you're set up with Total Choice Programming,
and sir, I also hooked up the NFL Sunday Ticket subscription you signed up for.
That's for her.
Oh, so you've also got Fox Sports Net, you get your regional sports.
College basketball.
ESPN full court.
What about racing?
Horses.
Stock cars.
All right.
Yeah.
Okay.
Now get free professional installation when you buy a DirecTV system
and sign up for any DirecTV programming package.
Woods, it takes your picture.
A hover drone.
Mounted with twin 45-inch
A hover drone.
Mounted with twin 45-calibre automatics.
It can take your life.
No!
An all-new dark angel.
Logan, get down!
At 9-8 Central Fox Tuesday.
They survived the drill instructors.
After me!
They survived Dismissal Hill.
Now get ready for the most intense boot camp yet.
There's only six recruits left.
We're just diving right in, you understand that?
They're going to turn on each other, it's going to get primal.
All-new boot camp at 9-8 Central Fox Wednesday.
Something is coming.
Five days.
Go!
Prepare.
To live.
The adventure.
Come on!
Oh, my God.
Evie!
The Mummy Returns.
Ready PG-13 at theaters May 4th.
And for a limited time, see The Mummy Returns free in theaters when you buy the original Mummy.
Now in the new Ultimate Edition Mummy DVD.
Go behind the scenes with the stars of The Mummy Returns.
Then, see it in theaters free when you own the DVD today.
Dendy.
Now there's a new, even colder Dentyne Ice gum.
Arctic Chill.
Cool breath.
Fresh breath.
Like never before.
Arctic Chill.
New from Dentyne Ice.
Ice at its coldest.
Fox Tuesday.
Travel back in time for that 70s night.
It's an hour of that 70s show with two new episodes.
First, Donna pretends to be Pez's girl.
Then, Eric gets a tattoo.
I think Debbie's really going to like this.
It's Donna.
I can fix it.
Plus, classic commercials on that 70s night.
Starting at 8, Fox Tuesday.
Sponsored in part by Volkswagen.
We chose white because it was...
It was clean.
And simple.
I just wanted a splash of color.
Kind of kooky.
A little bit of pizazz.
Different strokes for different folks.
All at one store.
Went to Home Depot.
Now I'm painting.
I can help you do that.
I can show you how.
Okay.
Glidden for my girl's room.
See, you can do it.
That's easy.
That's all bare right there.
I love Ralph Lauren.
This looks good.
Thank you.
I'm so glad I went to Home Depot first.
The Home Depot.
First in home improvement.
It's time you had the best.
Get 2,000 cash back or low 3.9 APR for 60 months on a Nissan Altima.
Offers end April 30.
Nissan Driven.
On a CornaCover.
Congratulations.
You won a car.
Go to whitebass.com for your chance to win on a CornaCover's convertible.
She'll even join you for a test drive.
We just need a CornaCover sitting on our front steps.
The deeper you dig on like us, the more chances you have to win on his stuff.
Tonight on the 10 o'clock news, immigrants waiting in line to take advantage of a law that could help them get citizenship.
But time is running out.
We're going to bring you the details.
Plus hundreds are sent running out of a synagogue in the middle of Sabbath services.
We'll tell you why.
And get ready for some spectacular summertime weather.
It's all coming up at 10.
Tonight of all new episodes, 8, 7 Central tomorrow on Fox.
Dream Machine, can they talk mom into keeping it?
No, no, no.
Well, maybe one joyride won't hurt.
I looked really cool right up until I hit the mailbox.
You think mom will notice?
Malcolm in the Middle, all new, coming up next on Fox.
Next Sunday, it's the grand opening of Springfield's first amusement park.
Build it to heaven.
To heaven.
The electricity is in the air.
Hurry before the fun runs out.
All the toppings were gone.
Hats are crawling in my mouth and I don't care.
And all new Simpsons.
And now, when a joyride goes bad, can Malcolm and his brothers hide it from Lois?
I looked really cool right up until I hit the mailbox.
You think mom will notice?
And all new Malcolm in the Middle starts right now on Fox.
See, compare, drive, caravan.
Now with a $2,000 cash loan.
On an all new Malcolm.
Then watch out for an all new The X-Files.
It all starts now.
Hey, boy, Lance.
Introducing new Twisted Crust Pizza from Pizza Hut.
It's breadsticks, it's pizza, it's both.
With your choice of free marinara or ranch dipping sauce.
It's a totally twisted new way of eating pizza.
The Twisted Crust Pizza from Pizza Hut.
Another one of the best pizzas under one roof.
He's a genetic miracle.
He's showing signs of advanced thinking.
Now, the battle to possess him.
Grab them both and take them back to Manicor.
Has become all out war.
Let's go, people.
A powerful all new dark angel.
Once she's back, we can make her hungry more like you.
At 9, 8 Central, Fox Tuesday.
Love, I am goodnight
With soft roses around you
Slumber sweetly in the moonlight
Close your eyes now and dream
Ford Windstar is the first minivan to earn the government's highest quadruple five-star safety rating.
Sleep tight.
Now get a Windstar and get zero-nine financing for 60 months or 2,000 cash back.
Visit the Ford Windstar website for more information.
My dream garden goes on for miles and miles.
They have every plant I'd ever want to grow.
I love Home Depot's nursery because the variety is astounding.
Petunias.
The Dianthus.
Oh, and herbs.
Cool.
I love it.
Okay, I'll take it.
This is my garden.
I'd love to have roses climbing over the entire house.
I wouldn't say that I'm a perfect garden.
But I found the perfect nursery.
That's why I go to Home Depot first.
The Home Depot.
First in home improvement.
By being blue oval certified, we are showing our customers that we really, truly care.
Oh, Manny Mejia.
He's a great guy.
I think he's pretty happy with my service.
I mean, he keeps coming back.
I feel very comfortable with him because he showed that he cares about what he was going
to do for me.
What more can you ask?
The
Blue Oval thumbprint just means that we are certified and that we're here to make them
feel good about their experience here at the dealership.
For your blue oval certified Ford dealer, call or click Blue Oval.
Scenes from Futurama's season finale next.
Then the race is on.
An all new King of the Hill.
Fox next Sunday.
Lucy Lewis.
Fox next Sunday, Lucy robots go haywire.
Army of Lucy Lewis.
Threaten to take over the world.
Take this and that and one of these.
Allie McFeels, Lucy Lewis guest stars on the season finale of Futurama.
Now that's a wave of destruction that's easy on the ass.
All new next Sunday on Fox.
Now Hank is diagnosed with a missing bottom.
I don't know what it's like.
Obviously I have got it going on back there.
An all new King of the Hill starts right now.
King of the Hill is brought to you by Best Buy.
Listen, I'm not waiting around for a moisturizer to fight.
Springfield's first amusement park.
Build it to heaven.
The electricity is in the air.
The Simpsons.
All new coming up next on Fox.
Scenes from King of the Hill season finale next.
Then Homer's back in the dog house.
Next Sunday it's the grand opening of Dale's luxury outhouse.
Why just relieve yourself when you can reward yourself.
Well I might be able to conjure up a little something.
But will he do a number on Hank?
He's a squatter.
No doubt guest stars on King of the Hill season finale next Sunday.
And coming up next, get ready for Springfield's first amusement park.
Build it to heaven.
The electricity is in the air.
And all new Simpsons is coming up next on Fox.
Oh.
Garfield.
My little ones get warts.
But do they see compound W one step?
No.
They see Garfield.
I see compound W working to take warts away in one step.
They see...
Garfield.
So when you've got little ones with warts, you'll see the first name in wart removal.
Compound W.
But you know all they'll see is Garfield.
Compound W one step wart remover for kids.
Just look for Garfield.
Jamie Bohan owns a Hyundai Sonata.
We looked at consumer ratings and all of the features that came with the vehicle.
This is Jamie's second Hyundai.
Very luxurious.
It's very dependable.
It comes with the freedom of America's best warranty.
And more standard features than Camry or Accord.
It's a really fun car to drive because the engine is very powerful.
The Hyundai Sonata.
At $15,799, it's a lot more car.
Freedom is calling, yeah.
Right now, get special 0.9% financing on the Sonata.
Hurry in.
Jerry breaks up with a male friend.
I can't believe that this is happening.
It's not you, it's me.
Next, Seinfeld.
It's a 90 to 11 on Fox 5.
A new Malcolm kicks it in 30.
Now, Homer's got his hands full.
And all new Simpsons.
The Simpsons is brought to you by Nokia.
Inspired technology with a human touch.
Nokia.
Connecting people.
Welcome to the Nokia mobile internet.
Nokia.
Connecting people.
The name of the song is Shrek.
Shrek.
It's about an ogre who really wants to be a knight.
So it's kind of an ogre knight success story.
It just blew my mind when I saw it.
Mike Myers.
We'll tackle this thing together.
One little baby step at a time.
Eddie Murphy.
You definitely need some tic tacs or something,
because your breath stinks.
Cameron Diaz.
You may remove your helmet, good sir knight.
John Lithgow.
Now kiss me.
Shrek.
Ogre.
And knight.
Ready at PG.
Starts May 18th everywhere.
Guys, switch to Mach 3.
Three blades for the closest shave in a single stroke.
You'll love the difference.
And so will we.
Mach 3.
From Gillette.
Welcome to the 7-Up blind taste test.
Go ahead, try another one.
This is rancid milk, man.
What is that, dish water?
Yes, it is.
Next.
Knight is refreshing his 7-Up, isn't it?
More left, more right.
You're sick, man.
Fresh squeezed this morning.
See, 7-Up tastes better.
Ah, it's like shooting fish in a barrel.
Next.
He's a genetic miracle.
He's showing signs of advanced thinking.
Now, the battle to possess him.
Grab them both and take them back to Manicor.
Has become all-out war.
Let's go, people.
A powerful all-new Dark Angel.
Once he's back, we can make him hungry more like him.
At 9-8 Central Fox Tuesday.
The Dread Instructors are on a rampage
to prepare the recruits for the pressure of a final mission so intense.
Show me you have what it takes.
Show me.
And so dangerous.
I'm gonna tear you up like you would not believe.
That war will start, but only two will finish.
I can't breathe.
A new boot camp at 9-8 Central Fox Wednesday.
Come on, let's see what's going on with the Millionaire Game at McDonald's.
Whoa.
I'll tell you what.
Winning.
It's like a winners-only zone here.
If there was a maximum capacity on winners,
this place would be over the limit.
If you wanted to start a new country called Winneronia, you'd come here.
If today was Nashville, go to a place with lots of winners day.
You get what I'm saying.
Play the Millionaire Game at McDonald's.
Pick the correct answer and you win every time.
You still have a chance to win cash on every card.
Winning.
It's a McDonald's millionaire thing.
William Thatcher didn't make the rules.
I won't spend the rest of my life as nothing.
He was born to break them.
Let's dance, who and I.
Yes!
A Knight's Tale rated PG-13.
Opens everywhere Friday.
This is Kingston County, Maine.
There are four surfers here.
Bug, Simon, Mooney, and me.
The waves are kind of small, and we only have one surfboard.
Most of the time, I'll just ride a few waves and come back in.
You know, sometimes talking about surfing with your friends
is better than surfing without them.
Life tastes good, Coca-Cola.
Busted on a road trip to Canada.
You're over the limit on foreign kids.
You can smuggle into this country.
What is the legal limit? Zero, you hoser.
Can they talk their way out of it?
They don't speak any English.
That 70s show all new at 8, 7 Central on Fox Tuesday.
A spirited 2-liter engine, a sport-tuned suspension, the Nissan Sentra.
The last thing it performs like is a compact.
We chose white because it was clean and simple.
I just wanted a splash of color.
Kind of kooky, a little bit of pizzazz.
Different strokes for different folks, all at one store.
Went to Home Depot, now I'm painting.
I can help you do that. I can show you how.
Oh, okay.
Lid in for my girl's room.
See, you can do it.
That's easy.
That's all there, right there.
I love Ralph Lauren. This looks good.
Thank you.
I'm so glad I went to Home Depot first.
The Home Depot, first in home improvement.
Marvin was going nowhere.
I'll use this.
Until a sudden accident got him back on track.
What's in me?
I put animal pots in you.
Part human, part animal.
Oh, man.
How's it going?
You got it going on.
Brad Snyder is the animal.
Ready PG-13.
Opens everywhere June 1st.
This little guy has no idea what's coming.
When he began to cut, the baby let out a scream I had never heard.
Should boys go under the knife?
There's no medical reason for doing this.
See how some men are undoing.
It is more pleasurable.
What they call the cruelest cut.
On the Fox 5 10 o'clock news tonight.
The signs of abuse are there.
He could hardly move when he woke up this morning.
He didn't seem very hurt last night.
Now a teacher will risk it all to uncover the shocking truth.
Does she hit you?
What does she do?
The hit series Boston Public.
Then she has the power to control any man.
Larry, how are you?
Well, my arm hurts.
But can the men of Ally McBeal resist?
Have you ever sucked on a woman's toe?
It's a night of all new episodes at 8, 7 Central tomorrow on Fox.
Inclusion has created the ultimate predator.
It hunts at night.
And once you see it, it's already too late.
Don't watch it.
It's coming this way.
Alone.
The X-Files, David Duchovny stars all new at 9, 8 Central tonight on Fox.
Malcolm and the guys are trapped in the carnival from hell.
And if you think that's scary.
He's got steamy.
We gotta do something.
Maybe it's his time.
Who are we to play God?
Wait till it gets downright freaky.
We come in peace.
Malcolm all new coming up next on Fox.
Next Sunday, parents beware.
Homer opens a daycare center.
Why did you put my name on the sign?
It's just a legal thing to protect me.
And childcare will never be the same.
Peek-a-boo.
I've never seen the baby get tired of it before the adult.
Peek-a-boo.
And all new Simpsons next Sunday.
And right now, Malcolm and the guys are trapped in the carnival from hell.
And boy is it freaky.
We come in peace.
And all new Malcolm in the Middle starts right now on Fox.