9 tough customers
Outta my way
I'm Cotton Hill
I kill pretty men
In a lawnmower focus group
You're here
I am everywhere you want to be, Hank Hill
With the machine every man dreams of
Got a lot of nice curves, like a pretty young woman
Let's see a show of hands
But don't let those curves fool you
They're a prescription for terror
Aaaaaaah!
On the next King of the Hill
Weeknights at 7 on UPN 45 Cable 4
The King of the Hill
Well, hello
WWF Smackdown, Thursdays on UPN
Hey, little guy
You know what I think?
I think you forgot to lock your door
A lot of people do that, but they forget
That's too bad because all crime needs is a chance
Don't give it the chance
It's my job to teach you to protect yourselves
Make it your job to learn
Like, uh, light up your doors
Lights make burglars nervous
Oh, and one more thing
Lock your door
Make a bite out of crime
Their identities erased
No!
Reprogrammed for a new life
I believe I know you
Oh, I don't think so
Can a covert rescue mission save the crew?
Let go of me!
I'm not going to hurt you
Before the truth
This isn't right!
We don't belong here!
Becomes a fatal memory
Harry, I need an emergency transport now!
Sorry, Commander, we're under attack
On the next Star Trek Voyager
Weeknights at 10 on UPN 45 Cable 4
Or
Watch them hangin' on the window
Weeping on the telephone
Sillin' their cup
Not knowing when to cover up
Watch them doin' their thing
In the song and dance
There must be 99 ways to make a romance
Watch them sweatin' Tyre boat
Dress like a gigolo
Shake a bandana
Let the better half bottom
Watch them tellin' us
To take their big chance
It's flying dink.
Get it at 5 on UPN 45, cable 4.
We all want the same thing, clear skin.
Well, big news.
Neutrogena oil-free acne wash gently cleanses deep down into pores, helps get rid of the
acne you have now, and ta-da!
Helps prevent future breakouts.
Neutrogena oil-free acne wash.
Water sucks you in.
Weather spits you out.
Wave Race Blue Storm.
Only for Nintendo GameCube.
Rated everyone.
You've got big plans this weekend.
So does your period.
It'll tag along.
Through the dance floor, past the cheese curls.
Talk about crashing a party.
Time for an oh-so-thin, cotex ultra-thin.
Now with hundreds of quick-absorbing pores.
So you can feel protected, movin', groovin', totally secure.
More like the powerful man magnet you are.
Cotex fixed.
Period.
Jamal is about to go.
Positively.
Closed captions.
Sponsored by...
Water sucks you in.
Weather spits you out.
Wave Race Blue Storm.
Only for Nintendo GameCube.
Rated everyone.
Get me the space!
Witness the evolution of the universe.
It's the most technically advanced DVD on the planet.
Planet of the Apes.
A must-own DVD today.
Enter the Buffy Weekends champsport sweepstakes.
I can hardly wait.
Watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer weekends all this month and find the secret password and
number.
Then visit your local champsport store or log on to buffyweekends.com to enter.
You could win one of two grand prize luxury train trips to Transylvania.
And a hundred winners will receive a $125 shopping spree to champsports.
Plus every in-store entry gets a $10 off coupon.
Works for me.
Watch Buffy Weekends and win.
With an ordinary alter thin, leak is a four-letter word.
Stay Free introduces the only alter thin with four-wall protection against leaks.
Four letters meet four walls.
Bye, Leaks!
Do stay free alter thins.
And the next shipmates.
At first, Michael used the goofball approach on Irene.
Nice hair.
Thanks, I just needed myself.
If she wants to play, we're gonna go ahead and play.
Then he tried charm.
I want to have the best time with you.
You're a wonderful person.
Are you addressing me with your eyes?
I don't need to.
The sex is gonna have to be good.
But will he ever see any action from her?
Find out next shipmates.
Weeknights at 5.30 on VPN45, cable 4.
On the next Buffy.
Look at the goodies.
I think dummies are cute.
It's the high school talent show.
What happened?
Her heart was removed.
I hate this school.
Inanimate objects have acted upon their desire to become human by harvesting organs.
There's absolutely no way that demon is gonna get what he wants.
Ew.
And now there's a brain.
Did I mention that I hate this school?
Buffy, the vampire slayer.
Sunday at 8 on UPN45, cable 4.
If you give me a fish.
Give a man a fish.
If you give someone a fish.
You feed them for a day.
A day.
One day.
If you give someone a fish.
You feed them for a day.
But if you teach a man to fish.
Teach me to fish.
Teach someone to fish.
And you feed me for a lifetime.
A lifetime.
My whole life.
If you teach someone to fish, you feed them for a lifetime.
Give me a fish and you'll feed me for a day.
Teach me to fish and you'll feed me for a lifetime.
Through Volunteers of America, you can help change lives in your community.
Find out what you can do.
Give us a call.
It's the only game show that critics call The Ingenious.
Street.
Star!
Weeknights at 730 on UPN45, cable 4.
Finch finds a new love.
What's her name?
Well, right now I'm calling her page 106.
Now, he's gotta get a grip.
You need to reacquaint yourself with you.
I've done that over and over, but it makes me sleepy.
Nina's got the perfect babe.
She likes her short and she's big on pity sex.
And not a minute too soon.
Come to me.
The time is now.
No way, you psycho.
What's the next?
Just too big.
Weeknights at 630 on UPN45, cable 4.
The biggest stars of the WWF are coming to Bakersfield to lay the smackdown.
Tuesday, December 11th at Centennial Garden, UPN45 presents WWF Smackdown Live.
You think we got tickets?
We do.
Think we're gonna give them to you?
We will.
Enter the whip tickets at all cellular outlet locations, both and Mexican cafes, or
log on to www.asperausa.net and get ready for Smackdown Live, December 11th from UPN45.
Go.
TV's number one action hour is definitely on the go.
This story just won't go away.
On an all new episode of Mutant X.
Destroy everything we created.
A breach in security from an unexpected source.
Shut up, Pete.
Maybe they got her and maybe she set us up, all right?
Betrayal takes a devastating toll.
Your nightmare's just begun.
An all new Mutant X.
Sunday at 4 on UPN45, cable 4.
Every weekend, an unforgettable X-Files is reborn.
Every weekend, a chance to relive it from the beginning.
Do you believe in the existence of extraterrestrials?
Every weekend, another classic X-Files.
No!
Saturday at 10 on UPN45, cable 4.
Sunday at 9 on UPN45, cable 4.
Now, you can buy the one DVD everyone is flipping for.
Tomb Raider Special Collectors Edition DVD with over three hours of bonus features.
Don't stop.
Explore five new documentaries uncovered to lead in scenes.
And if you can, survive three levels of Tomb Raider gameplay.
This is where my stuff's at.
If this isn't the hottest DVD of the year, you tell her.
Angelina Jolie, Tomb Raider Special Collectors Edition.
Buy it today.
You've got one night to save Mario, Luigi's Mansion.
Only for Nintendo GameCube.
Rage at everyone.
Stafree brings you a unique maxi that fights leeks to the core.
The Stafree Maxi.
The only maxi with Stafree's anti-leek core and four-wall protection.
Remarkably protection from Stafree.
A ruler of my country at a pit stop.