When East meets West, I know something about your culture.
I watch Cops.
In all new users, Monday on UBS.
Pshh, pshh, pshh.
He walks funny.
You crazy!
Aaaaaah!
He sounds funny.
I used to talk normal.
Pshh, pshh, pshh.
Before my brother hit me in the face with a shovel.
But on November 10th,
Nickies are only hoping.
Hello!
Yes!
I mean, woof, woof.
Adam Sandler.
Little Nicky.
Who's Batman, Mommy?
I don't know.
We shall is, but ugly.
Ready to P.G. 13.
Starts Friday, November 10th.
How about a beefy spicy crisp?
Step into a Slim Jim!
Eat me!
On October 27th,
forget everything you heard.
Because this time,
the truth is scarier than fiction.
Book of Shadows, Blair Witch 2, rated R.
Rated E.
Thanks for taking me to the doctor.
Here we are!
Come on, tuck and roll, grandma! Tuck and roll!
The less time you spend doing other things,
the more time you have for MTV Sports Pure Vibe.
Oh, man!
Here.
It takes years of practice
to become a master.
But this master has a secret weapon.
Good stuff!
To become invincible.
Uh-oh!
Jack Jib, a legend of drunken master,
rated R.
is theaters October 20th.
You are watching WWF SmackDown on
Feel the Super!
UPN.
To stop a deadly vision.
Help me to look back!
To end one man's madness.
From my mind to my mind.
They must go back in time.
My first deep space assignment aboard the Excelsior.
Back with a legend.
Who are you and what are you doing on my ship?
Back into battle.
Who are you fighting?
Klingons.
But Chem may survive.
My God!
The ultimate flashback on the next Star Trek voyage.
Trek Nights at 10 on UPN 45.
The spicy chicken sandwich.
Don't bother me.
I'm eating.
Only 99 cents at Carl's Jr.
The all-new X96.5 blazing today's hottest music.
Now with Jamie and Danny in the morning.
Good morning, Bakersfield.
Welcome to Bakersfield's new morning show.
Today's hottest music is on the all-new X96.5.
X96.5.
Well, you've got a real tough gig this Sunday, King.
Well, you got that right.
I'm gonna be right here in L.A. 9 a.m.
It's never too early for puppies.
At the XFL Cheerleader Triumph.
Open casting call.
All of you lovely ladies that would love to be an XFL cheerleader.
Come on out and see the King.
Woohoo! Triumph this Sunday morning 9 a.m. at the Spectrum Club in L.A.
Here we go for Ghost in His Buster's Mind.
It's King Kamega. Next!
Nothing's impenetrable.
Friday, October 27th on UPN.
On October 27th, forget everything you've heard.
Because this time, the truth is scarier than fiction.
Help!
Book of Shadows. Blair Witch 2 rated R.
3-D-O.
W-C-L, main event, Thunder Tank.
In this corner, weighing in at 70 pounds.
The Patriot and the Challenger weighing 85 pounds.
Tighten!
The rules? There are no rules.
When the bell rings, come out, fire him!
World Destruction goes prime time.
New WDL Thunder Tanks, your devastation station.
For PlayStation 2, PlayStation and Game Boy Color rated everyone routine.
WDL Destruction!
Anybody need lotion?
Anybody?
The ultimate DVD.
With over 40 DVD features.
Three newly remastered digital versions.
Never before seen footage.
In a limited edition metal case.
Buy it today.
And now, the WWF Food of the Week, brought to you by Lugs.
Rugged footwear for the urban terrain and the clubs.
Make sure it's the genuine Lugs.
The boots with an attitude.
Oh, it's Kane!
Coming up to Kurt Angle!
Look at Kurt Angle!
I don't think he's gonna help out Kane!
The highly anticipated final season of Star Trek Voyager is here.
And Activision has launched their hottest new action CD-ROM game ever.
By entering the Star Trek Voyager Elite Force sweepstakes,
you and three of your friends could appear as Starfleet officers or aliens
in the next Star Trek CD-ROM game from Activision.
Order online at StarTrek.com.
Watch the final season of Voyager on UPM.
Pick up Star Trek Voyager Elite Force at your favorite retailer.
And enter the Elite Force sweepstakes.
This game has been rated T for Teen.
From Artisan Home Entertainment, Terminator 2, Judgment Day.
The ultimate DVD.
Hasta la vista, baby.
With over 40 DVD features.
Three newly remastered digital versions.
Never before seen footage.
Trust me.
In a limited edition metal case.
Buy it today.
Be Spider-Man.
Bring down the bad guys using your cool spider powers.
Jim?
You don't just play it, you live it.
Jim?
Spider-Man the Game.
Rated E.
I have signed an executive order saying that English is no longer America's national language.
It's executive order 13166.
Thank you for calling 911. Please listen for your language.
For Spanish press 1. For Korean press 2.
Do you ever miss English?
Immigration is out of control.
Bush and Gore are writing off English for good.
What can you do?
Vote for the third party that puts Americans first.
Vote Buchanan for president.
For Swahili press 12.
Rated E for everyone.
Thanks for taking me to the doctor, sweetie.
Oh, yeah, grandma, no problem.
Would you like to come in for some cookies?
Here we are.
What's your ride?
Tuck and roll, grandma, tuck and roll.
The less time you spend doing other things, the more time you have for MTV Sports' Pure Ride.
No limits, no boundaries, just total freedom.
Tuck and roll, grandma.
Cheers.
WWF New York Times Square, New York City, place to be every Sunday night live for Sunday Night Heat.
This past week, King Stephanie McMahon helped me with guest host, and she rocked the house.
Oh, Stephanie was hot.
It was a great show until, well, Pat Patterson showed up with some of the worst singing in history.
He even attacked DJ Scribble.
Can you believe that?
Well, it's Sunday Night Live from WWF New York on MTV at Heat.
Cypress Hill, the musical guest.
Commissioner Iqbali, the guest host this Sunday.
Chances are this guy has some issues.
Sigourney Weaver, Holly Hunter, Harry Connick Jr.
Copy that, Tuesday at 8, 7 Central on UPN.
It takes years of practice to become a master.
But this master has a secret weapon to become invincible.
Jack the Jack, elephant of drunken master, rated R, is here to help you.
October 20th.
Now's the best time to buy the best on Earth.
Down to Earth deals at your Honda dealer.
Get no down payment on our new Honda ATV.
Then take your pick of low monthly payments for the first two years.
Or no payments and no interest for three full months thanks to the Honda Card program.
And with a new form in Forman S or ES, you can get an additional bonus.
300 Honda bonus bucks to spend at your Honda dealer.
Down to Earth deals happening now at the best dealers on Earth.
3DO.
Victory! Our boys came through in the end and returned home heroes to all onlooking admirers.
Zoe, if you had to do it all over again, would you?
Hi, hi, boys.
Only if I could bring those bazookas with me.
Introducing Army Men World War Land Sea Air.
The war continues on the ground, in planes, and on ships.
For PlayStation game console rated T for Teen, Army Men World War Land Sea Air.
Good to go.
Music.
Anybody need lotion?
Anybody?
I got the square shanty.
The plane just looks gross.
You make it a second chance at life, but you can't cheat death.
In death, there are no accidents and no escapes.
Final Destination, rented today on video and DVD.
To stop a deadly vision.
Help me to look back.
To end one man's madness.
Your mind to my mind.
They must go back in time.
My first deep space assignment aboard the Excelsior.
Back with a legend.
Who are you? What are you doing on my ship?
Back into battle.
Who are you fighting?
Hang on.
But Kam may survive.
My god.
The ultimate flashback on the next Star Trek voyage.
Good night at 10 on UPS 45.
The all new X96.5 blazing today's hottest music.
I'll be the one.
He is all I feel.
Every little thing I do.
Now with Jamie and Danny in the morning.
Good morning, Bakersfield.
We're Bakersfield's new morning show.
Today's hottest music is on the all new X96.5.
X96.5.
Flush with the success of their 1999 hit Ultimate Cheeseburger.
JT, EJ, TJ, TK and the other EJ return to the studio to produce 199 for a limited time.
199 for a limited time.
199.
It's so meaty and cheesy.
Ultimate Cheeseburger.
It's just a buck 99.
Can we fix that?