Star Trek Voyager is brought to you by Gillette Mach 3, the first triple blade razor.
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Jones got one for being salesman of the year.
Collins got one for cutting costs by 17%.
You got one because you figured out a better way to buy stuff.
Now you can buy e-business tools direct from IBM at IBM.com or 888-SHOP-IBM.
Like a ThinkPad with an Intel Celeron processor.
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People, you can come out now.
Look, I've got the wireless internet right here in my hand.
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So what you're saying is you can't change your oil every 3,000 miles because you're
too busy.
So you push it.
It's like your cheap brother-in-law at one of those is all you can eat.
Hey, it's your car.
You want to learn the hard way?
Be my guest.
This is reformulated Quaker State.
Protection beyond 3,000 miles under any driving conditions.
You ought to change your oil on time.
But if you can't, can you say insurance?
Quaker State.
It's been tested.
It works.
What more do you need to know?
Meet the newest breed of secret agents.
We got a plan?
Working on it.
Sexier.
Wouldn't you just love to train?
Stronger.
And always ready for action.
Imagine what we can do together.
I am.
On the all-new Secret Agent Man, Tuesday at 8, 7 Central on UPN.
Sensitive men.
The other one is cranky.
I'm not cranky.
Crazy women.
Ta-da.
How'd you pass your test, son?
And a twisted sense of humor.
How do you know they're lesbians?
Because they're engaged in lesbianic acts.
This is not a real word.
Sure it is.
It's like moronic, but with a lesbian.
Barry Levinson presents a cop show unlike any other.
I'll reach you to the bed.
Oh my.
God.
You're home early.
The Beat premieres Tuesday, March 21st on UPN.
If people have spy cams, why not a Saturn cam?
I mean, every car has a secret life.
That's what I wanted to document.
What I discovered was pretty shocking.
In just one week, that Saturn was pounded by shopping carts, bicycles, and over a dozen
car doors.
Oh.
And some guys even used it as a picnic table.
This is gonna be really great.
Lease the well-equipped Saturn SL1 for $1.99 a month for 39 months.
Zero due at lease signing.
If cars could talk, man, they'd say, garage me.
Burger King introduces a new twist on the Whopper.
The Bacon Shutter Whopper.
Crispy bacon and melted cheddar cheese with a great flame-broiled taste of a Whopper.
Gentlemen, we have reentry in T minus 10, 9, 8, 7.
The Bacon Shutter Whopper.
Available on Earth for a limited time only, so grab one today.
In death, there are no accidents.
No coincidences.
And no escapes.
If cheating death, you have to figure out how long it's coming back at you.
Final Destination, rated R. I'll see you, sir.
I love to call my old teammates, and I can call them any time I want, thanks to MCI 5
cents every day.
So Bugs, how's the team?
Well, Michael, it's a rebuilding year.
With MCI 5 cents every day, calls are only 5 cents a minute every evening and all weekend
long.
Hey, Bugs, any bright spots?
Eh, there is this Australian kid.
Got moves just like you.
Stay in touch with old friends and new.
Just call 1-800- EVERYDAY to join.
We've just made it easier to separate yourself from the crowd with a new Dodge Caravan.
The most innovative, most imitated, most trusted minivan on the road today.
Now Caravan features low 0.9% financing for up to 60 months that could save you over $4,600.
In a perfect world, everything would be different.
Until then, see the friendly Dodge dealer near you during our Think Spring event.
What's a meal to a kid?
Something you have to eat to get dessert.
But you've grown up.
You actually look forward to a meal, especially one like Arby's Roast Chicken Club.
With the goodness of slow roasted chicken, that beats something fried and greasy any
day.
You can have lettuce, tomato, and pepper bacon for a taste so good, you won't care if there's
no room for dessert.
The Roast Chicken Club, only at Arby's.
Now that your taste has grown up.
You're watching KUVI-TV, Bakersfield.
The McMahon Family Feud continues to escalate.
You brainwashed my sister into marrying you.
I'm crushed, Shane.
We're brothers.
The WWF spooks, the spooks in the family has hit rock bottom.
Catch SmackDown, Thursday at 8, 7 Central on UPN.
It's late and you're tired.
This is no time to have to return a movie.
So now Blockbuster gives you until noon the next day to return it.
Because it's late and you're tired.
Rent Chill Factor at Blockbuster and keep it 12 hours longer.
The world's deadliest weapon has just been handed off to a cook and an ice cream delivery
man.
Kubo Gooding Jr. and Pete Ulrich, starring the action thriller Chill Factor, rated R.
Rent it this week at Blockbuster.
Being a cashier, I know that people like her have other places they'd rather be and other
places to spend their money.
But at least we guarantee she won't have to spend it twice.
At Goodwrench, our lifetime guarantee means you'll never pay twice for any covered repair.
Bet she didn't think she'd be smiling today.
GM Goodwrench Service Plus.
It's for life.
Is your asthma really under control?
Yeah.
But sometimes I wheeze.
Ever wake up short of breath?
I do.
Use your fast acting inhaler more than twice a week.
I use mine every day.
If that's what you call control, ask your doctor if prescription Flowvent is right for
you.
Flowvent, twice a day, helps control the inflammation that can cause asthma symptoms in the first
place and helps improve lung function.
Flowvent won't replace fast acting inhalers for sudden attacks.
People switching from an oral steroid like prednisone to Flowvent, an inhaled steroid,
need to be especially careful.
While adjusting to the switch, your body is not as able to heal after surgery, infection
or a serious injury.
See your doctor if your asthma does not improve.
Now this is control.
Flowvent, helping you to find asthma control.
Justice.
Arid works.
The more stressed you get, the more arid works against your worst smelling sweat.
Arid works.
Arid, powerful protection against your worst smelling sweat.
Get ready for the ultimate battle between good and evil.
Death by Magic, Friday at 8, 7 Central on UPN.
A false accusation.
Did you murder Professor Rand?
No.
A punishment worse than death.
The perpetrator of a murder is forced to relive the crime through his victim's eyes.
A crew determined to uncover the truth.
I propose a mind meld with Lieutenant Paris.
When all is fair in love and war.
Don't get involved, Lieutenant.
What happens to an innocent man?
But the victim's own eyes identify.
You don't have to tell me what the victim's own eyes saw.
On the next Star Trek Voyager.
Good night at 10 on UPN 45.
It's home based design and decorate days where you can design and decorate your new kitchen.
When you special order Diamond, Marillat or Ameri Kitchen cabinets between now and March
25th, you'll receive up to $2,000 in home based gift certificates.
And if you use your home based credit card, we'll waive interest on this purchase for
up to 90 days with no money down.
So buy your cabinets today and get up to $2,000 in home based gift certificates.
Design and decorate days and soon.
So go to the base.
Home base.
We've got all the bases covered.
How empty it seems with only my dreams.
I'm going to sing the 3.2 CL from Acura.
This is well.
I SAW A BIT OF LIGHT ON criterion where you can create everything you wish.
None of you stand so tall
You're pink and moon and I get you once again
You're made of pink
Pink, pink, pink
Comfort
It's the feeling your baby has when she's all wrapped up, warm and happy, and Carnation Good Start helps keep her feeling that way.
Good Start's the only routine formula whose proteins are broken down into smaller pieces to be easy to digest in baby's tummy.
It's called Comfort Proteins and only Good Start has them.
Think of it as comfort food for the two of you.
Carnation Good Start from Nestle.
Look at the fresh baked bread. It is toasted. It is delicious. It is seductive.
Like a toasted delicious seductress.
Schlossky's funny name? Serious Sandwich.
You know, it could actually cost you more to call your state capitol than your nation's capitol, but with Sprint nickel nights anywhere, in-state and out-of-state calls are all the same nickel.
You do the math. We'll do the geography. Switch to Sprint at 1-800-PINDROP.
Jones got one for being Salesman of the Year.
Mollman's got one for cutting costs by 17%.
You got one because you figured out a better way to buy stuff.
Now you can buy e-business tools direct from IBM at IBM.com or 888-SHOP-IBM like a ThinkPad with an Intel Celeron processor. Call today and get free same-day shipping on select ThinkPads.
Is that what I think it is? But it's just a... Try it.
Incredible. Wireless internet right here in my hand. Shop, trade stocks, check scores. All on Sprint PCS. And the calls?
Clear digital calls. Nothing else has changed.
Do you think they're ready? Some are. Others will follow.
Experience the power of the Sprint PCS wireless web.
When your headache's only partly relieved by the leading brand, your heart's in your work, but your head isn't.
Take Excedrin and you'll feel completely better because Excedrin is completely different.
With two proven pain relievers plus an enhancing ingredient to completely relieve your headaches. Even the ones the leading brand can't.
So you'll feel completely better because your headache's completely gone. Excedrin. The headache medicine.
They fought at the Battle of Midway and the invasion of Normandy. They fought at Iwo Jima and Guadalcanal.
Back home they held rivet guns and rolled bandages and they were all heroes.
The Walmart associates touched by World War II are just some of the 16 million Americans who helped save our freedom.
Sadly, there's no national monument to their sacrifice. Bring your donations to Walmart and let's help build the World War II Memorial in Washington D.C.
There's no memorial yet, but together we can change that.
The New York City Police Department
10-85, we've got a suspect.
We've got gas fire, gas fire!
This is New York City. Welcome.
On the next Baywatch Hawaii, Jesse's hatred of poachers.
To slaughter a great fish is immoral.
Becomes a personal vendetta.
Jesse, it isn't illegal.
Well, maybe it should be.
Can the team help fight her cause?
She catches up with those shark hunters. We know what she's gonna do.
Before she becomes the hunted.
Come on, Sean, kick it!
Get in on the action on the next Baywatch Hawaii.
Sunday night at 9 on UPM 45.
She is out of control sexually.
These teens need to tame their wild ways.
Do you realize that you're endangering your own life?
I'm not gonna change the way I dress.
She looks like a cool girl.
And this young mom wants her baby's father back.
I wanna help you, Lucy, but my life is going great over here.
You were there too when you guys made that baby, you were there!
Teens, sex and consequences.
I'm taking care of our responsibility. I said our.
Next, forgive or forget.
Sunday morning at 11 on UPM 45.