On April 11th, the world will never be the same. Once you've seen it through the eyes,
I can see down your shirt!
of Joe Dirt.
Hey, Freak Boy, 1976 called. It wants its hairstyle back.
What?
Go on an adventure with Joe Dirt.
No!
Joe Dirt.
Boy's got something to say to me. Why don't you talk into the microphone?
I got a backup mic right here.
Ah!
Off with PG-13. Opens everywhere Wednesday.
McDonald's, y'all. Yo.
Feeling like something hot and spicy with some fire and death. I think McDonald's new taste menu is the best.
New foods that are cool and the sweetest honey whatever mood you're feeling. You don't need a lot of money cause
McDonald's is the place. Put a smile on my face.
Cause the new taste menu is always that and the food's it giving you a change of pace.
Many choices that satisfy any mood. And of course they still have my favorite classic food.
The new taste menu is here to stay with varieties to fit any style.
Cause the McDonald's, you know we love to see you smile baby.
You smile.
Kiss kiss kittles.
Taste rainbow.
Ever notice how many tums you have around because your heartburn keeps coming back?
There's a neater idea. New pepsi complete. It works as fast as tums but lasts seven times longer.
All in a chewable tablet. New pepsi complete. Just one and heartburn's gone.
See you chaps. This is done.
Hey man, check it out.
Hey, how'd you do that? Do what?
Trick out the door.
The redesigned three door coupe from Saturn. It just might turn a few heads.
How Martian Zig Big Dorloo eats a Reese's.
There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's.
Introducing new tilt response technology. Now you move the Game Boy, not the buttons.
Kirby Tilt and Tumble, rated E for everyone. Only on Game Boy Color.
Get into it.
Thinking of you, love always.
Jessica.
They smell so nice.
The Whopper says, nothing says I love you like flame broiled beef.
In the land of burgers, Whopper is king.
I can't take it anymore.
Don't lose it. Diffuse it. If your hair is driving you crazy, it needs Infusium 23, the authority on damaged hair.
The results? Insanely gorgeous.
Turn damaged hair into managed hair with Infusium 23.
You want incredible color that's incredibly gentle. Hydreins.
This unique water-based color cream hydrates your hair.
Nothing penetrates deeper to cover gray better or last longer.
Hydreins by Claryl. A beauty all your own.
To death, you must part.
A dangerous man.
Your husband claims you were kidnapped.
A desperate woman.
You don't understand. He'll kill me.
And a distant love.
She was once going to be my wife.
Now the woman behind the mask must make the ultimate sacrifice.
I'm going to risk my life to save her.
So she could be with him?
Next Queen of Swords.
Onions and real cheddar cheese and a crispy, crusty, flaky crust.
What are you gonna pick?
Hot Pockets.
On the next Jerry Springer.
Grandpa's getting busy.
Is it this next time after we have sex?
I love watching you take bobo baths.
With his grandson's girlfriend.
I'm having sex with your grandpa.
Now when it's gonna be you and me, babe.
And the bell tolls for these relationships.
All you are smells like spicy.
You're such a man, why didn't you tell me that was your baby and wasn't mine?
I'm having sex with your grandpa.
On the next Jerry Springer.
We days at 2 on UPN 45.
We're the breakfast crew.
And we believe breakfast should be more like dessert.
That's why we go crazy for chocolate fudge and s'mores pop tarts.
That's why we always make Kellogg's pop tarts the best part of this complete breakfast.
Because it's good to be rich.
And chocolate.
And that's why we say pop tarts rule.
And now new Pokemon pop tarts are here.
Covered with Pokeball sprinkles.
The ultimate breakfast for Pokemaniacs.
Hey Brian, did you know that when it's nighttime here, they're having breakfast in China?
Breakfast?
Some people go to great lengths to get a hold of an Eggo waffle.
Eggo, give it back to me.
For them, there's nothing quite like that warm, toasty taste.
Eggo waffles, the part of this good breakfast that's too good to let go.
Syrup.
Syrup? No problem.
Now there's Eggo waffles with maple inside.
Apple cinnamon and strawberry too.
Eggo waffles, the toppings inside.
Shriners Hospitals, world class orthopedic and burn medical care for children.
I work in a major metropolitan hospital.
And I have for 25 years.
And I have not seen the atmosphere where I work.
Like the atmosphere here at the Shriners Hospital.
I'd run to the nearest Shriners Hospital.
And I'd follow the Shriners Hospital if they left to be able to take care of my child.
I give my hats off to them.
I mean, you know, it's a great thing that they do this.
I mean, without Shriners, I don't know where I'd be, you know.
I mean, I probably, I might not even be here, who knows.
I can't express to you what you've done for my child.
He's going to have a better life.
He's gonna feel like he's not different.
That he doesn't stand out in the crowd.
And I mean, I just thank you so much.
You've done wonders.
For more information, call this toll free number.
Shriners Helping Kids. The tradition continues.
There are some moments people just want to forget.
That's why we love instant replay.
Take it to the max with maximum exposure.
This shows the ultimate weekend adrenaline rush.
Unpredictable.
Unbelievable.
Oh, that's gotta hurt.
Take your weekend to the max.
Maximum exposure.
Saturday afternoon at 4 on UPN 45.
First day at our souls, Dr. Gray?
Yeah.
There's a lot of bad stuff going down.
Don't let them take me.
The dead have power here.
You can't escape, huh?
You can't escape, huh?
Once left for dead, John Avery and the Chicago Enforcers have won four out of five.
That's it, baby!
Now, the Enforcers control their own destiny.
One win and they're in.
But the XFL's best team stand in the way.
The XFL.
Catch all the excitement of Smash Mouth XFL football Sunday at 4 on UPN 45.
Brought to you by Sharkey's Pizza and Barbara Cadillac Use Car Center.
You're watching KUVI-TV, Bakersfield.