Jason Statham is the transporter.
He never made a mistake until today.
You broke the rules, you opened the package.
From the maker of La Femme Nikita and the Professional.
Yes! Yes, y'all! Everybody, rickety, pull the wall, y'all! We gonna rock!
On October 11th, every delivery is guaranteed to be a rush.
The transporter.
Rated PG-13. October 11th only in theaters.
Alright, make it hurt! Nice one!
I'm not a victim! I'm not a victim!
And he's down! Good job, people!
The mark of creed. Mark your opponents, then own them.
Rated M for Mature.
This is our room! And these are our Hot Subway sandwiches!
Hot Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki!
Look what's in this stuff!
Tomatoes, olives, teriyaki chicken.
Sweet onion sauce!
If you like that little thing.
Hot Subway! Subway!
Keep going!
Fellas, sharp-looking hair is a surefire way to get noticed.
Introducing new Maxim hair color.
Wherever you go, young ladies will pay unusual attention to your hair.
Even shy and quiet girls will be behind your good grooming, no matter which snazzy look you choose.
At the office, well-groomed hair is successful hair.
If you have the look of a winner, you just may find yourself in trouble.
Maxim hair color in the men's grooming section.
I hope you slept well, because now you die.
Prepare to meet Iron Skillet.
Oh yeah, Tekken 4 is here.
Punish your enemies with new moves, interactive environments, and new fighters.
It's a legend so deep, no one just plays it.
They live it.
Tekken 4, ready to tee for teen.
This is Stacy.
This is the dime bag that Stacy bought.
This is the dealer who sold the dime bag that Stacy bought.
This is the supplier that smuggled the pot to the dealer who sold the dime bag that Stacy bought.
This is the supplier that smuggled the pot to the dealer who sold the dime bag that Stacy bought.
And this is Carla, who was hit by a stray bullet from Stacy's supplier and paralyzed for life.
Own the DVD and VHS.
Who dies first?
Behind the movie, with so much action, you'll watch it again and again.
The Scorpion King.
Yes.
I own DVD and VHS now.
Tuesday, meet the skin-eating Hannibal Lecter of the demon world.
I mean, who doesn't like skin?
An all-new Buffy, Tuesday at 8, 7 Central on UPN.
Have you ever lost track of time?
What are you doing with the gun?
I don't know.
Meet a man who will wish he never did.
Then how can a dead man's glasses reveal a horrifying truth?
I want to find my husband's killer.
Portia de Rossi guest stars.
The Twilight Zone.
All new, Wednesday at 9, 8 Central on UPN.
Feel the attitude. Feel the intensity.
Nothing beats world wrestling entertainment live.
Saturday night, we head to Kansas City.
Sunday night, we make our way to San Angelo.
Monday night, it's WWE in Tucson.
And Tuesday night, the superstars come to Phoenix.
There's nothing like world wrestling entertainment live.
Look at this place.
Guys like us could be running it in a week.
They're young.
To our fathers?
Nothing but aranbores.
You brought us the sandwiches.
What else can you do?
They're hungry.
Green has the money.
I have no idea.
Half that money is mine, and I want it.
And they've got something to prove.
Just tell me where I can find a little trouble in this town.
Yeah, he'll do.
City of self a tough guy.
I'm your guy.
I'm ready to step up.
With 99 guys out of 100, this is losing.
What are you, ballerina now?
It's tight-sheet.
There's half an idiot and that is the good half.
And John Malkovich.
If we don't get that back back, it's the roof, the river, or the revolver.
You ready?
Go time.
Knock around, guys.
Used to be there was a way to do things.
Now everybody's feelings are involved.
Ow.
It hurt.
Rated R starts Friday, October 11th.
Pizza.
Your turn.
Hey.
Who do we owe ya?
Hold on, guys, guys, come on.
You've been eating this stuff six nights in a row.
I thought our week was over.
Let's go to Subway.
Something hot, something fresh made.
Anything but brown and greasy.
How about a hot mouthwatering Dijon horse bread?
On Monterey cheddar cheese bread or a delicious hot sweet onion chicken teriyaki?
Jim, thanks, man.
So what if it's fatty?
Football season's back and so are Subway's 32-ounce trivia cups.
Up size your Fresh Value meal and grab one today.
This is a CEO issues book.
It was used by a tobacco company in 1996, so their executives would know the right answers to all the tough questions they got asked.
Like, in light of health studies, why do you stay in the tobacco business?
Their official answer.
We believe we can continue to operate our business successfully.
So, 440,000 people die each year, and that's a success.
I hope you slept well, because now you die.
Prepare to meet Iron Skillet.
Oh yeah, Tekken 4 is here.
Punish your enemies with new moves, interactive environments, and new fighters.
It's a legend so deep, no one just plays it.
They live it.
Tekken 4, ready T for Teen.
Now you can play Tekken 4.
Tekken 4, ready T for Teen.
Now you can treat blemishes and dryness all in one with new Clearasil Acne Fighting Moisturizer.
Its feather-like formula fights breakouts and moisturizes without clogging pores, so it's actually good for your skin.
For clear skin, Clearasil.
So nice of you to visit again.
Tomorrow, experience the suspenseful masterpiece Time Magazine calls brilliant.
Every game must have its ending.
Red Dragon, rated R, at theaters tomorrow.
Tuesday, see why Haunted puts the chill back in Ghost Tales.
These aren't crimes of passion, this is a pattern.
Three women are dead.
Bad deja vu.
And they won't leave this detective alone until he finds their killer.
It all new Haunted, Tuesday after Buffy on UPN.
Enterprise loses one of their own.
Life support failing.
Tell me what happened.
The captain is dead.
All new Enterprise, Wednesday at 8, 7 Central on UPN.
Scorpion King, own the DVD and VHS.
He used her power to rule an empire.
Tomorrow my victory is complete.
Now two warriors will unite.
We're brothers.
Same cause.
To bring it down.
Who dies first?
The ultimate power of victory is used to experience again and again.
Take a breath.
The Scorpion King.
Catch this.
Buy it now on DVD and VHS.
Are you ready?
This fall, my product, it's like getting a personal visit from God.
Make the deal.
The deal is $20 million.
The deal is non-negotiable.
Take the trip.
I want 10%.
You're negotiating with me?
Blow your mind.
Samuel L. Jackson.
Let's play.
Everybody, everybody, come on.
Formula 51.
Renard.
The Deeders, October 18.
Whoa.
What happens when big air meets big water?
It's called surfing.
You up for that?
It's Kelly Slater's Pro Surfer.
Surf like Kelly in 8 Top Pros.
Pulling big air tricks and fantasy tricks.
At 15 of the most challenging surf sites on the planet.
But remember, the tricks are harder when you try them in water.
Kelly Slater's Pro Surfer.
Rated E for everyone.
Exhibition O.
Taco Bell's smooth new Monterey Chicken Quesadilla hides a little kick that may trigger a Monterey mood swing.
Rich Monterey Jack grilled all white meat chicken plus pepper jack cheese for an extra kick.
The new Monterey Chicken Quesadilla.
Got something to say.
If we can't talk straight in the barbershop, then where can we talk straight?
About what's going down.
Oh, they did it.
Do not get this fool started.
At the barbershop.
Rated PG-13.
Now playing.
It all starts Monday at 8, 7 Central on UPN.
What if your entire existence.
On the Emergency Medical Holographic Program.
Was a lie.
What do you say?
That I'm a real person.
What if you had another life.
I love you.
For one man, it's either a mind trick.
Destroy the ship.
Now.
Before it's too late.
A hallucination.
Doctor, don't listen to it.
Or a truth too terrifying to face.
None of this is real. It's all a delusion. Somebody help me.
On the next Star Trek Voyager.
Weeknights at 10 on UPN 45 Cable 4.
I never thought I could get financing.
Not this fast and hassle free.
But the used car superstore made it happen.
New car, new car.
No honey, not a new car but an excellent used car.
You know, being young and want something sporty.
I didn't think I could get financing.
But I went to the used car superstore and looked what I drove off in.
Credit problems are no problem at the used car superstore.
Choose from $2 million in inventory and drive home happy.
The used car superstore, Weibel and Pacheco.
On the next Shipmates.
I am a law enforcement officer.
Kelly's under police surveillance for having a dangerous curve.
She looked very nice. I was very impressed.
But her date convinced her of being too friendly.
Came out of the bathroom and she was talking with somebody.
Is this officer a gentleman?
I really don't trust too many people.
For bad news.
Have you ever heard that term that you think before you act?
There's no reason why someone shouldn't trust me.
Find out this evening.
Good night's at 11 p.m. on UPN 45.
Cable four.
You're watching KUVI-TV.
UPN 45, Bakersfield.
This night is brought to you by Maxim Hair Color for guys.
Easy to do, hard to resist.
Triple threat rules in this matchup.
Weibel is the man to pick up a pimple.