I believe that you were sent to us because of work related stress, aggression towards
authority figures and an all around lack of discipline.
I'm a happy guy.
You see this face?
This is a happy face.
See how happy I make those people.
Ticket with exit wounds tonight at 8 on TBS.
This is Jim's dream vacation.
The trouble is, give me all of them.
This isn't Jim.
It's Maurice who stole Jim's debit card.
While Jim files police reports presenting the American Express Traveler's Check card.
The safety of travelers checks in a convenient card.
It's prepaid and not linked to your bank account.
If it's stolen, your balance is replaced in 24 hours.
Big problem.
It's your vacation.
Why lose it?
The Traveler's Check card from American Express.
Order yours now and get a free companion airfare.
It's the final days of Jeep Employee Pricing Plus.
Hurry in now for the best selection of remaining 05s.
They're going fast, so get to your Jeep dealer today for our Employee Pricing Plus cash allowance
on Jeep Grand Cherokee, Jeep Liberty, or Jeep Wrangler.
All with our employee discount plus up to $2,000 cash allowance on select models, which
gets you a Grand Cherokee for just under 24 grand.
Don't miss out.
Visit your Jeep dealer today or visit jeep.com slash clearance.
When you've got the taste of the original ranch, things seem a little more like the
way they're supposed to be.
The Whey Ranch is supposed to taste.
Life doesn't stand still and neither do we.
That's why three generations of professionals have trusted Lowe's.
Not because of our Pella Design Center, which only Lowe's has, or because we have the brands
of roofing, siding, insulation, and ladders the pros depend on, including Top Choice Lumber,
which only Lowe's carries.
Or because nobody works harder to save you money every day, which Lowe's promises to
do.
You see at Lowe's, improving home improvement never ends.
So far, we've raised over $5 million with our customers to help visit any Lowe's store.
I had a toothache on my wedding day.
I needed immediate relief.
That's why Origel was the right choice for me.
Pain relief pills can take up to 30 minutes to work.
Origel works in a flash.
Origel takes the ache out of toothache immediately.
It's chili out there, so prepare.
Prepare like never before.
With a kind of chili that rattles your bones and shakes you to your core.
Campbell's Chunky Chili, with beans and without.
What's the most embarrassing thing that could happen to a girl?
Actually, a leak would be worse.
That's why Tampax Pearl has a unique absorbent fray to help capture leaks before they can
happen.
Embarrassment happens.
Leaks shouldn't.
Tampax Pearl.
Marshall's Law of Footwear, Law Number 11.
You can't get arrested for getting high on heels.
Law Number 16.
For the price most people pay for one shoe, you can get two.
Marshall's Law Number 32.
If shoes weren't so important, people wouldn't be measured in feet.
Get kick butt brand name shoes and still foot the bill.
That's Marshall's Law.
When they're off and running, he's someone you count on.
When he's on the outside, the goodness of Quaker Oatmeal and calcium are on the inside.
Quaker chewy granola bars.
Another way to get your Quaker.
A quick download on the new Hyundai Tucson.
Loaded with features inside and out, like standard side impact and side curtain airbags,
and standard electronic stability control with traction control.
Tucson is the winner of Strategic Vision's 2005 Total Quality Award.
And that award winning quality lets us off for America's best warranty.
10 years, 100,000 miles.
The uniquely flexible feature packed Hyundai Tucson.
Nicely equipped at $16,594 at Hyundai.
Get a Hyundai Tucson with up to $1,500 cash back at your Portland area Hyundai dealer.
It's official.
The pre-owned and certified event is going on at Valley Motors in Acura Salem right now.
We have the finest luxury car inventory in the valley like this.
Check out this 2002 BMW 525, 2002 CLK 320, a 2004 supercharged CL 600.
Or get the class and speed with the 2005 E55 AMG.
If you like to drive the finest and free-owned, then come see us at Valley Motors in Acura
Salem where we make your dreams affordable.
TNT tonight on Wanted.
The show critics call captivating and passionate.
It's the season finale you cannot miss.
Guilty.
The team is taking back LA.
But tonight, the biggest case.
I thought we could use some help.
Great.
That's just what we need around here, some repaired testicles.
Leads to the ultimate betrayal.
Catch the season finale that will change the team forever.
Where is he?
Behind you.
Wanted.
Tonight at 10 only on TNT.
Tonight, I can do that in a blink of an eye.
Why don't you show us?
Exit one.
Followed by Shaft.
Starting tonight at 8 on TBS.
We couldn't watch all of them.
Well, double the men you have at the casino exits.
I gotta talk to you.
What is it?
Let's go somewhere private.
He's got it all.
Men fear him.
Women judge him.
And children idolize him.
I'm a gladiator.
But if your name was Maximus Decimus Meridius.
My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius.
You'd be a little ticked off too.
Russell Crowe is gladiator.
Friday September 30th at 8, 7 Central.
I will have my vengeance.
On TBS.
When it wasn't until Hurricane Charlie was over, the real danger began.
I'm State Farm agent Dan Mann and this is a true story.
I'm a diabetic and so when the power goes out, that's real bad.
His insulin had to stay cold.
He brought me ice.
Plus a check for emergency living expenses.
Before my neighbor even heard from his insurance company.
And with all the thousands of people that needed help down here, I felt like they're
only one.
When you need someone most, nobody takes care of you like State Farm.
We'd love to prove it to you.
Call an agent today.
Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.
BK is making NFL history.
Every coated Angus rapper scores you gridiron extras.
Take a free day of NFL Sunday tickets from DirecTV.
Long live the king.
On DVD.
What if I told you that aliens were coming to destroy the earth and that you and I have
to go save the galaxy?
Oh, that doesn't sound good.
Catch a ride.
Hang on.
Grab the guide.
The Hedgehiker's Guide to the Galaxy on DVD today.
It's time for the lending industry to change.
That's why Elone has consultants who don't make money based on the rate of the loan and
has no lender fees.
Those are some of the revolutionary ways we're changing the lending industry.
Elone.
Radically simple.
Mr. Clean can't remove carrot juice, wine, berry or coffee stains.
Clorox Clean Up Cleaner can.
It clears away tough stains for a pure clean.
Clorox Clean Up.
A cleaner clean.
Oh, I'm newly calibrated.
Oh, shiny and clean.
Hello.
Give your ego a boost.
Lose up to a gene size when you take the Special K Challenge.
Replace two meals with two bowls a day plus a sensible snack for two weeks.
Special K.
Don't forget to like and subscribe.
Uh huh.
Watch the place.
Watch, watch it.
As team mom, my mom always watches what we eat and encourages us to eat our Campbell's
Chunky Soup.
Like chunky chicken noodle.
Eat up those big chunks of chicken.
She's also very encouraging from the sidelines.
On the run!
Whatever you're beating, don't stop.
Campbell's Chunky Chicken Noodle. It fills you upright.
Introducing the new all-wheel drive Subaru B9 Tribeca.
The end of the SUV as we know it.
And the beginning of what an SUV should be.
Visit your local Subaru dealer for a special introductory lease offer on the all-new 2006 Subaru B9 Tribeca.
Send him out with someone you trust.
When he's on the outside, the Guinness of Quaker's on the inside.
Now with 25% less sugar, Quaker Breakfast Bars. Another way to get your Quaker a day.
Marshall's Law of Footwear. Law number 11.
You can't get arrested for getting high on heels.
Law number 16.
For the price most people pay for one shoe, you can get two.
Marshall's Law number 32.
If shoes weren't so important, people wouldn't be measured in feet.
Get kick butt brand-name shoes and still foot the bill.
That's Marshall's Law.
TNT tonight on Wanted.
The show critics call captivating and passionate.
Demon.
It's the season finale you cannot miss.
Bionicator.
Guilty.
The team is taking back L.A.
But tonight, the biggest case.
I thought we could use some help.
Great, that's just what we need around here is some repaired testicles.
Leads to the ultimate betrayal.
Catch the season finale that will change the team forever.
Where is he?
Behind you.
Wanted.
Tonight at 10.
Only on TNT.
Just because a guy has some...
Turn down re-load.
I'm so sorry now.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so...
Smelly cat, smelly cat.
What are they feeding you?
Everybody!
Smelly cat, smelly cat.
It's not your fault.
Monica!
They won't take you to the vet.
Timber!
Obviously not their favorite pet.
Joey!
Got a moment to soothe like the sun and the moon.
Got a moment to soothe like the sun and the moon.
Got a moment to soothe like the sun and the moon.
Got a moment to soothe like the sun and the moon.
Got a moment to soothe like the sun and the moon.
Hey guys, ready to order?
I can't decide.
Should I go with the wild or the mild three course menu?
That depends.
Do you wear tighty whities?
Box of briefs.
Paper or plastic?
Paper.
Wallet or man purse?
Wallet.
Brunettes or redheads?
Yes.
Hated a little?
The cat and fiddle?
Cat jumped over the moon.
I'd go wild.
That's just me, I'm wild.
Go wild or mild with Friday's new three course menu.
Choose from six appetizers, 12 entrees and two desserts, all for just $12.99.
Everyone could use more Fridays.
Now who wears the tighty whities?
Kids love to find ways that mom makes Meal time into something great
Campbell's to miss the possibilities
Grilled cheese, dunked just hits the spot
The great ideas never stop
Campbell's to miss the possibilities
Lots of goldfish, crackers, swimming
Wholesome goodness you might be missing
Campbell's to dream good possibilities
A lesson for parents about the power of your cable remote.
Yes, you can surf the channels with it.
But did you know the cable remote can help control what your children watch?
It's pretty easy.
First hit menu or settings, then scroll through the onscreen options to set your password.
Finally, block the programming by channel or rating.
And talk to your children about why certain programs are not for them.
Set your parental controls. It's easy.
For more details on parental controls and tools, go to ControlYourTV.org.
Discover delicious citrus and berry flavors in a very surprising place.
New Centrum Silver Chewables with heart-healthy nutrients that emerging science suggests may help reduce the risk of heart disease.
The best of Centrum Silver and new citrus berry chewables.
A soft, comfy top sheet on every Always pad?
Hmm.
Dreamy.
Have a happy period.
Always.
When they're off and running, he's someone you count on.
When he's on the outside, the goodness of Quaker Oatmeal and calcium are on the inside.
Quaker Chewy Glittle bars. Another way to get your Quaker a day.
Kids never slow down.
Minute Maid Kids Plus Orange Juice is a smart way to give them the vitamins and calcium they need.
And the pulp-free taste kids love.
From Minute Maid.
TBS joins HBO in bringing America's very funny comics to Las Vegas this November for a very funny festival.
The Comedy Festival. For tickets, log on to thecomedyfestival.com.
Tonight, I could do that in a blinking eye.
Well, why don't you show us?
Eggs at home. Followed by Shaft.
Starting tonight at 8 on TBS.