Network premiere.
Didn't have to get married to have lousy sex.
No, I did.
Sharon Stone.
Isabella Gianni.
Good to get it over with, now we can get on with the read.
And Kathy Meads.
Where's the body?
Ah!
Diabolique.
Premiers tonight at 8.
Only on FX.
What's more hateful than a tangerine taffeta bridesmaid dress?
Having to wear one with your period.
Don't stress, Kotex has a different kind of ultra-thin,
with quick absorbing pores and wings that readjust,
with strips by Velcro USA for a secure fit.
It's great protection, so even if you don't catch the bouquet,
no reason you won't catch the eye of that cute DJ.
Kotex fits, period.
Pediatricians know kids need more calcium
to help build a lifetime of strong bones.
Introducing new Flintstones bone building calcium chews.
All the calcium of two glasses of milk,
with a great chocolate taste they're sure to love.
Ten million strong and growing.
Real estate is red hot.
Interest rates remain at an all-time low.
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Everyone wants the best deal on a home loan.
You owe it to yourself to call Ditech.com.
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Nature fanatic. Health nut.
Grape nut eaters have been called many things.
Here.
There!
Fortunately, they haven't heard a word of it.
The unique nutty crunch and delicious taste of grape nuts.
Live life your own way.
Yahoo! Spell gas!
Whoa, shouldn't you be studying for your spelling test?
Uh-huh.
Well, then put the toys down.
And go study.
Whoa!
Toys down? Put the toys down.
Studying will never be the same.
Now go study.
Now it's fun.
With Turbo Twist Spelling and the MindStation Connector from LeapFrog,
you can download your weekly spelling list
and play games while you prepare for quizzes.
LeapFrog. Learn something new every day.
Hello?
I understand from my records that you're subscribed to any magazine.
And if you act now, you also get a very...
Looking for an even more satisfying crunch?
Grab a Snickers Cruncher.
Peanuts, caramel, chocolate, and crunchy.
Snickers Cruncher. Beyond crunchy.
You know, this room could use some new paint.
Yeah, I can do that.
How about rust?
No, pure red with a full finish.
Ooh, and that dry brush technique.
It'd be honey undertone.
How do I do that? Ah, it's easy. Let's start over here.
You know, she said something about a dry brush.
I'm not dragging. And actually, there's a clinic tomorrow.
Why don't you come out? And you're gonna drag,
and you're gonna wee. You've got it now.
That's great.
Uh-huh. It's beautiful.
It was easy.
I think I may have seen another cop do something or do nothing.
I don't judge other cops.
I don't tell liars by listening. I tell them by watching.
Three officers dead.
How many more lives you plan on ruining?
How come?
Both your husbands left you.
I sure as hell don't know.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie.
Both your husbands left you.
I sure as hell wasn't for a lack of imagination.
It is everything in me.
Not to slap you, silly.
Whose side am I on?
Gold!
Merlou, a dust truck!
Gold! Woo-hoo!
That's gold.
And...
Oh, yeah!
And that's better.
Like new cookies and...
A crunchy cookie, that's good.
And your favorite candy, that's better.
Cookies and M&M's, Snickers, Twix, Milky Way.
New cookies and...
And is better.
We're filthy rich.
Instead of just plain filthy.
You be handing eight ball now, fool.
You ain't dialing 1-800-Collect.
Does it really matter?
1-800-Collect saves at least a buck or two.
That's good, thank you.
Dial it and save.
1-800-Collect save a buck or two.
Old Navy painter's pants are one of a kind.
A better price you'd be hard pressed to find.
Quality construction, that's our guarantee.
Old Navy painter's...
You're the pants for me.
The price...
Is nice.
He'll wear...
This pair.
Wow, they're just 15 to 20 dollars for men and boys.
Old Navy, we are there.
At Scott, we're always on the move to stop spills in their tracks.
Wide ridges on a ticket.
Check it out.
Only Scott's house has these unique wide ridges that absorb like no other town.
Cool.
Scott's house just make more sense.
Scott's house with wide ridges.
More common than green eggs.
More common than freckled faces.
More common than green eyes.
More common than freckled eyes.
More common than freckled eyes.
More common than freckled faces.
More common than...
More common than being able to touch your tongue to your chin.
Thinning hair in women is so common,
more than 30 million women have it.
Most because of heredity.
That's why there's Rogaine for women.
The first FDA approved treatment,
clinically proven to regrow hair.
So when you realize the hair on the bathroom floor isn't your husband's,
remember,
there's hope, there's help, there's Rogaine.
Everybody wants a little more.
So, add more, furniture for less.
We're giving you one more day.
This Wednesday, 12 hours.
Make no down payment, pay no interest,
and make no payments till 2004.
And for all cash buyers and credit card users,
we'll pay your sales tax.
Even more, saving store-wide,
including all Simmons mattresses.
One final day.
This Wednesday, 12 hours,
9 a.m. till 9 p.m.
More furniture for less.
More furniture for less.
700 laps of action squeezed into two days.
It's the biggest event of the year at Mesa Marin Raceway.
The 25th anniversary October Classic,
October 19th and 20th.
The two-day, $90,000 event will feature
the NASCAR Featherlite Southwest Series,
NASCAR Super Late Model,
Ultra Wheel Super Trucks, Late Model,
the Pro 4 Challenge, and the Cal Spa Super TT Motorcycle.
Over 200 drivers from around the nation,
including NASCAR star Ron Hornaday Jr.
Order your tickets now for the 25th anniversary
October Classic at Mesa Marin Raceway,
the world's series of short track racing.
Five, four, three, two, one.
Short track racing.
The F-X Network premiere.
I didn't have to get married to have lousy sex.
I did.
Sharon Stone and Kathy Bates,
the mind-bending thriller.
Where's the body?
Diabolique premieres tonight at 8 p.m.
Only on F-X.
Underneath the woman who runs the house
and races to work is a woman
who's discovered new Caress shimmering body wash.
She enjoys looking lustrous
and loves being seen as the queen of beauty.
She's a woman who's been in the business
of being lustrous and loves being seen
as the radiant creature.
She is new Caress with Pearl Essence.
If you really gotta go,
run, don't walk.
My best potty training advice is
you gotta aim.
Underpants go under your pants.
Don't forget to flex.
And pull down the seat so your mom doesn't fall in.
The best advice is always be consistent.
Switching back and forth to diapers
can actually slow down potty training progress.
Water not before bedtime.
So stick with pull-ups all the time
and you'll have a big kid in no time.
I'm a big kid now.
You gotta believe in yourself.
Hello?
I understand from my records that you're subscribed to A Magazine
and if you act now you also get a very deep...
Looking for an even more satisfying crunch?
Grab a Snickers Cruncher.
Peanuts, caramel, chocolate and crunchy.
Snickers Cruncher. Beyond crunchy.
Do do do.
Got a minute?
Why not whiten your teeth?
With New Colgate Simply White.
Just apply the clear gel twice a day.
You'll have whiter teeth in two weeks.
New Colgate Simply White.
Okay, let's go.
Until the very end, we'll be there.
Born free, as free as the wind blows.
Just because you were born to make great meat sauce
doesn't mean you have to.
New Ragu Rich and Meaty.
Made the way you'd make it.
With half a pound of meat.
Everybody wants a little more.
At More, Furniture for Less,
we're giving you one more day.
This Wednesday, 12 hours.
Make no down payment, pay no interest
and make no payments till 2004.
And for all cash buyers and credit card users,
we'll pay your sales tax.
Even more, saving store-wide,
including all Simmons mattresses.
One final day.
This Wednesday, 12 hours, 9 a.m. till 9 p.m.
More furniture for less.
New Colgate Simply White.
Born free, as free as the wind blows.
Just because you were born free,
as free as the wind blows.
Even more, saving store-wide,
including all Simmons mattresses.
One final day.
This Wednesday, 12 hours, 9 a.m. till 9 p.m.
till 9 p.m.
Till 9 p.m.
Till 9 p.m.
Till 9 p.m.
Till 9 p.m.
Till 9 p.m.
Hey, settle down.
Now, don't worry.
If Keishon Johnson said he'll be here, he'll be here.
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
We'd like to welcome in a guy who always finds time to be on the show, Keishon Johnson.
Hey, guys.
Where's the body?
Please help me!
You mean like 007?
Yeah, except only I'm gonna be 009 and a half.
I'm gonna be a little inyendo.
Let's do this then.
Two weapons of mass destruction.
Hello!
Watch out!
Watch out!
That's not the thing we're gonna be doing on the mission.
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
My spy.
See if she's got a sister.
If she's got a sister, it's just gonna be the three of us.
What'd you say your name was?
In theaters everywhere November 1st.
An anti-aging breakthrough.
In testing, 100% of women who tried Neutrogena visibly firm showed a visible improvement
in firmness, fine lines, or clarity.
Visibly firm replenishes copper, a collagen building mineral essential for firm skin.
Neutrogena visibly firm.
Get up!
Get on up.
Get on up.
Get up.
Get on up.
Hit me now!
Come on!
Stay on the scene.
Like a sex machine.
Hit me now!
Huh!
Come on, stay on the scene, like a sex machine.
Yeah!
Ha!
Ride on, ride on, ride on.
Brilliant performance. It's the Kiwi Express Sponge.
The only sponge equipped with a unique liquid reservoir.
That always delivers a brilliant shine.
The Kiwi Express Sponge. A brilliant shine every time.
What's more hateful than a tangerine taffeta bridesmaid dress?
Having to wear one with your period.
Don't stress.
Kotex has a different kind of ultra-thin.
With quick absorbing pores and wings that readjust.
With strips by Velcro USA for a secure fit.
It's great protection.
So even if you don't catch the bouquet, no reason you won't catch the eye of that cute DJ.
Kotex fits. Period.
She probably loves him. Girls always have.
Two enthusiastic thumbs up.
Newsweek raves. Once it gets its hooks in you, you can't turn away.
The Los Angeles Times says Sissy Spacek gives a pitch-perfect performance.
I know what you think, but I let it get away with everything!
The New York Times proclaims Miraculous.
Coming up next, in the bedroom on In Demand Pay-Per-View.
Carol Simmons mattresses.
One final day. This Wednesday, 12 hours, 9 a.m. till 9 p.m.
More furniture for less.
At FX Network Premier. The epic adventure. Cocoon. Saturday at 8. Followed by Cocoon The Return. Only on FX.
This should be back by now.