He falls through the lot, trotting everything. Hello?
Next time on the couch is Bobcat Goldthwait and Joan Rivers.
I wasn't wanted. Do you know what that's like to start out that way?
My parents didn't want me. They didn't take me out of the hospital till I was nine and a half years old.
Watch Dr. Katz, a new episode tonight at 10.
Some things are like you just can't handle on your own.
So who do you turn to? Friend? Priest? Mommy? Jerry Springer?
No, what you really need is a comedian.
You told us your problems. Now we're here to help.
Lying to be a stuffed animal? We'll make it happen.
Worried about your bachelor party? We'll keep the end line.
We may not be able to save the world, but if we can help you through just one of life's little problems...
Then we know we're making a difference.
Watch Comics and Delivery, premiering Monday, January 20th at 10. They're not really heroes.
We just play them on TV.
So anyway, I'm playing jet motor, right? And I'm riding on this jet motorcycle and I'm hurtling through different terrains.
Snow, concrete, ocean, junk. I mean, when you got that kind of power between your legs, you don't know what to expect.
Anything could happen.
A good sweat isn't so good once the game is over. That's why there's new Irish Spring Sport.
It has an extra antibacterial ingredient that kills odor-causing germs better than regular soap.
It's new Irish Spring Sport. Play as hard as you like.
The psychic solution doesn't want you to be fooled by imitators.
The other networks can only promise what we deliver.
Well, one question really, and he took that one question, told me several other things, but there was no way and nobody else could know it.
Asking friends for advice or a psychic for advice, do you have a choice?
Psychic, no doubt.
I've always wanted to try it. Now I am a believer.
This is great.
I believe in it, but this is not believed.
I've got to love it, it's true.
Get your real reading from Real Psychics. Make the free call now. Call 1-800-218-7381.
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You're watching Comedy Central. Coming up next at 1, make your appointment to watch Dr. Katz.
The cast of A Fish Called Wanda is back.
He likes animals.
Oh, he doesn't dislike them.
In a whole new breed of animal. John Cleese, Jamie Lee Curtis, Kevin Kline.
Fierce Creatures, rated PG-13. Starts Friday.
There's a rare addition hitting the streets. Rich in added features and available at a price that's very good news.
The Accord Special Edition. A car this uncommon is definitely front-page stuff.
We're asking travelers to compare Red Roof Inn's rates by calling 1-800-THE-ROOF.
They're about $9 less than what I usually spend.
Seven bucks is seven bucks.
You bet it is.
Call 1-800-THE-ROOF for rooms just as nice as other hotels, but for a lot less.
Keeping your New Year's resolution requires endless suffering and sacrifice.
Or does it? Milky Way Light, but you can't tell it's a light.
Are you like me? Would you rather be playing hockey than working in this office building?
You know that NHL faceoff 97 was rated best hockey game by EGM?
Realistic give and go's of one-timers with icon passes.
Less work for hockey!
Every day, people like you and me are proving why the psychic solution is so popular. See for yourself.
She said that she sensed that there was someone older in my family that was ill.
I do have a grandmother just in the hospital, but not to worry because she was going to pull through. I mean, that's totally amazing.
The best way I could put it is like talking to an old and dear friend.
She was really understanding and she was really there for me. That's what I needed.
She doesn't even know me, you know, and I didn't say anything to her. We kind of just took to each other.
I'm in a real bad relationship now. And she said, try another pair.
I think I'll keep in touch with her and she'll keep giving me good advice.
My husband-to-be, my family's having a bit of problems accepting him.
Today she told me that I basically need to go with my instincts on this one and, you know, my parents will just come around.
I don't know why I waited so long to call her in the first place.
You don't have to wait for us to come to town. Join us on now by calling for your free sample reading.
Call 1-800-929-4-FREE.
Here's the story.
I get happy.
Bedtime.
Hello, Mom.
It's TV land time.
And whatever your bedtime was in 1972, now you can see all of the grooviest lineup in TV history.
From Brady Bunch to Love American Style, reunited for one night only, complete with classic commercials.
Experience TV land time Friday, January 24th, starting at 8, 7 Central on Naked Night.
She's just coming.
To get at all the vegetables in new Tostitos Ultimate Garden Salsa, they had to invent a more maneuverable chip.
Introducing bite-sized Tostitos tortilla chips.
And Ultimate Garden Salsa.
Ooh! Ooh!
Oh!
The perfect chips, the perfect dip.
Tostitos. Now's a good time.
You know, I've been telling you about the AT&T One-Rate plan.
One-rate anytime.
Well, now there's the AT&T One-Rate International plan.
International?
Each country has its own low rate on calls from home anytime.
What country?
Almost any country you can think of.
Each with its own low rate?
Exactly. One rate for Sweden anytime.
Yeah.
I can call Chile.
Yeah, Chile would love to hear from you.
What do you know in Chile?
Like you're so busy calling Sweden.
I can call Sweden.
All right, what happened then?
One low rate per country anytime.
The AT&T One-Rate International plan.
The Skittles taste the rainbow.
Beauty, adventure, drama.
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Next time on the couch is Bobcat Goldthwait and Joan Rivers.
I wasn't wanted.
Do you know what that's like to start out that way?
My parents didn't want me.
They didn't take me out of the hospital until I was nine and a half years old.
Watch Dr. Katz, a new episode tonight at 10.
He's got the laugh.
The attitude.
I'm a loner, daddy. A rebel.
And the platform shoes.
Watch Pee-wee's Big Adventure tomorrow at 8 here at Comedy Central.
Some things in life you just can't handle on your own.
So who do you turn to?
Friend? Priest? Mommy?
Jerry Springer?
No, what you really need is a comedian.
You told us your problems.
Now we're here to help.
Longing to be a stuffed animal? We'll make it happen.
Worried about your bachelor party? We'll keep you in line.
We may not be able to save the world.
But if we can help you through just one of life's little problems...
Then we know we're making a difference.
Watch Comics and Delivery, premiering Monday, January 20th at 10.
They're not really heroes.
We just played them on TV.
There's a moment in this lifetime when it all comes down to you.
No looking back when you know what's right.
You do what you gotta do.
Ain't no fear when you know what's real.
It's the feeling deep inside of the sheer exhilaration.
And the overwhelming pride to pop.
Show your stomach it's no disgrace.
Tube tops.
Making the world a better place.
Tube tops.
A circle of fabric can make things right.
Tube tops.
Lighting your way through the darkest night.
Tube tops never go away.
It's here with you I wanna stay.
All the boys and all the girls.
Everywhere around the world.
France and Arabia, Turkey and Spain.
England and Switzerland, Mexico, Maine.
Can't help loving that tube top.
The feeling of mine.