Ninjas and nannies and mutants and crime ranks.
These are a few of my favorite things.
Hi!
This isn't a beach town anymore, it's a sewer.
But it's my sewer, Jiminy, and I love it.
Welcome to Atlantic City, where nothing, not even the political assassinations, are quite
what they seem.
You go down and assassin fires?
Well, that's some coincidence, don't you think?
Imagine, boxing matches are actually fixed, blondes are really brunettes, and the corrupt
local law enforcement officer just might be one of the good guys after all.
It sounds like he's conducting a very dangerous investigation.
Nicolas Cage, Gary Sinise, Brian DiPalma's Snake Eyes.
Saturday on the Movie Channel.
Once upon a time in old Mexico, there was a great hero who battled evil.
Sadly, he was forced into early retirement, but now he has a young protege.
Do you know how to use that thing?
Oh, it goes into the other man.
And soon, evildoers will once again cry for mercy.
Did you miss me?
Damn it.
It's sorrow.
And young maidens will take fencing lessons.
You bet.
It's a full-scale swashbuckling adventure.
Zorro, your legend has returned.
Anthony Hopkins, Antonio Banderas, Catherine Zeta-Jones.
The Mask of Zorro.
Sunday on the Movie Channel.
Knowing that this was a Steven Spielberg Presents project,
I was sure that the special effects would be spectacular.
The script says, the comet hits.
And the Eastern Sea Board is wiped out.
Okay, so then you sit with your storyboard artist and you draw pictures.
You bring in industrial light and magic,
which is the great group of visual effects artists that created these looks with us.
You say, I want a shot from outer space,
from space looking down on the earth of the explosion.
And you sit with a storyboard artist and you draw it.
And then they do an artist rendering of your drawing.
And then they say, do you want it like this?
It's a fascinating process.
Also, the wiping out of New York City.
How do you wipe out New York City?
Well, where do you start?
You start with Statue of Liberty.
And then you just go from there and you go around the city picking images.
And you sit with your storyboard artist.
And then you go shoot these plates.
And then you shoot these plates and have people running towards you.
And then you put the wave in later.
Then you start talking about what does the wave look like?
How angry is this wave?
How tall is it? Does it have white foam?
Does it have a reflective surface?
What's it look like?
On the Movie Channel, you get 100% pure movies 24 hours a day.
From daily movie marathons to movie fun facts, it's a movie lover's paradise.
And Showtime gives you spectacular Hollywood hits no one else has.
Groundbreaking original pictures and series.
Award-winning family films.
And knockout championship boxing.
For bold, fearless entertainment you won't find anywhere else, watch Showtime.
The Movie Channel and Showtime.
Two of the great channels from Showtime Networks.
Showtime Networks. Endless choices, endless possibilities.
Some people have changed a lot over the past 20 years.
So it's nice to know there's one man who's still crazy after all these years.
Michael!
It's been 20 years.
What's he waiting for, huh?
What do we do?
Try to live.
This time, it's personal.
Hey, they're brother and sister. I mean, it was always personal.
Jamie Lee Curtis. Halloween H2O.
Sunday on the Movie Channel.
We want to make you a principal.
We?
The students here have already been expelled from someplace else permanently.
You can't pay a substitute enough to work here.
What is a fine like that boy like you doing in a place like this?
No more misting classes, no more gambling, no more extortion, no more selling drugs.
No more!
You come back tomorrow and you try, you're going home with a body bag.
James Belushi. Louis Gossett Jr. The Principal.
You have a plan, this principal?
I'm going to have him write in the blackboard a thousand times, do not kill the principal.
Monday on the Movie Channel.
I guess you could say I got too many men in my life.
It all started with the He-Man Marathon on the Movie Channel.
I mean, I tried to be sensible, you know, settle down, but I mean, they just keep coming one right after the other.
I know, I know, they're nothing but trouble.
They're not hiding their feelings behind an iron mask.
They're leaving you to go hike in Tibet.
I mean, you know, trouble is just when you think your heart is free, another rugged, chiseled, broad-shouldered, take-charge-a-donis,
meow, I'm hooked.
The Movie Channel. Fun for people who just want to have movies.
Nothing beats the country fresh goodness at TMC overnight.
So set your VCR for Wednesdays at 3 a.m. and wake up to Pipe and Hot Movies.
This month, we're delivering. And the nominees were...
Everybody seems to be in on it.
You're far too stuck on yourself to be jealous.
This week, my life is a dog.
TMC overnight, Wednesdays at 3 a.m.
Set your VCR for fresh movies in the morning worth crowing them back.
Who is this, your girlfriend?
It's my mother.
There's a special bond between a boy and his mom.
See you later, Mom.
Things he'll do to make sure she's provided for.
I'm going to have my mama to show how much you care.
Secrets he'll keep to protect her.
Who is she?
Girls say you're no good. They're sluts.
She wiggles and squirms until final.
Mom, please stop.
Now that I know you better, I see your chin.
Maybe I'm not as meek as you think.
But eventually...
Well now, so this is the young lady.
I know Harold the way you never could know him.
The apron strings must be cut.
Your mama?
Mother has nothing to do with this.
Eventually...
I took a bath, but I didn't come out clean.
Deborah Harry.
Six Ways to Sunday.
Premiering Saturday, March 18th.
Only on the Movie Channel.
According to the Wall Street Journal,
the Movie Channel has transformed itself into the party girl of the Viacom family.
Guess which channel won't be home for the rest of the week?
The Movie Channel won't be home and in bed by 10.
The Movie Channel.
100% pure movies, 100% pure fun.
The party's on 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Movies Inside Out.
Hi, Rick Santoro. Hello, Richard Santoro.
Ah, Ricky!
And I am the king!
Snake Eyes is about an assassination that takes place during a prize fight at Atlantic City.
The distinguished Secretary of Defense.
Great idea to put a flashing light on your head while you're at it.
Hawaii's real tight, it's fine night!
I'm running security tonight, I got a lot on my mind.
One primary event happens in this movie,
and then you see it through three different people's perspectives,
and each perspective you see it slightly different.
There were two hits.
The girl next to me, she threatened him, took something, got shot, and ran away.
The method of the storytelling is such that it keeps you on the edge of your seat,
and you're always trying to figure out what's going on,
and there's a lot of mystery in the movie.
Now, what's the mystery, Mr. Secretary, if I am telling you, you're the one that's going to be sorry.
The hallmark of a Brian De Palma film is that he trusts his actors,
and he trusts his camera, and he really likes to put them all together.
It's certainly Hitchcockian in nature.
Brian creates the best suspense, sort of a cat and mouse kind of a situation,
where you follow the action in such a way where you're sort of being given different pieces of information,
which lead you in different directions.
I'm betting that the redhead you followed is the same person who told Tyler to throw the fight.
She's one. Shooter's two. Tyler's three.
The drunker shot the single's four. Whoever was on the other end of that radio was five.
Five people making conspiracy, right?
It's really kind of a traditional whodunit, suspenseful filmmaking.
Please, you're all alone on this.
The house wins.
Mr. President.
How we on?
Our missiles have been.
Messiah did not destroy the comet.
There are now two pieces.
One six miles wide, the other a mile and a half.
Comets are still headed for Earth, and there's nothing we can do to stop them.
The impact of a larger comet will mean an extinction level event.
So this is it.
May the Lord lift up his divine counters and put a little up to us on Deep Impact.
Saturday on the Moody Channel.
That's it. That's all there is.
Oh, thank you. Thank you. Oh, this is great. I had no idea.
I'm sweating right through my Hugo Boss tux. Glad I didn't pay for it.
I'd like to thank the Academy, because how often are you ever the best at anything?
I mean, without the Academy, I'd have no validation.
I'd like to thank my probation officer for getting me permission to be here tonight
and writing such a fantastic script. I owe you one, Jerry.
And I think we need a moment of silence to remember those who fell on the potato famine.
You will not be forgotten.
My wife, who stood by me through everything thick and thin.
My girlfriend, for always being there when I needed her.
People wonder where I get my inspiration. Sunrise, waterfalls.
And all the producers that once offered me work in exchange for sex.
Tomorrow, I'm naming names. Oh, did I mention the casting crew yet?
Thanks, guys. You're the best. My makeup artist, my hairstylist, my chauffeur,
my private chef, his assistant.
Wait, wait, I'm not done yet. No, no, no, no.
From the start, we gotta have it all the time.
Move it, move it, we gotta have it tonight.
This month on the Movie Channel.
We're rolling.
Who you talking to?
That thing just made about them.
Now I'm playing with power.
It was better than sex.
When we are watching movies, everything's great, everything's groovy.
That's how we all of you guys gotta have it all the time.
The following movie is rated R.