Real Time with Bill Maher, American Fight Out contestants.
Thank you very much. Stay tuned for Conan.
See you tomorrow.
From NBC Studio 50, New York, and late night with Conan O'Brien. Tonight, Senator John McCain, Andrew Dawson Screech, and the new movie Abandoned, Katie Holmes.
With the Backstabber 7, now here's your host, Conan O'Brien.
Thank you for pretending that was sexy. That was great. Thank you.
We have a, man we have an excellent show tonight, right? We have such a good show. No, I didn't mean you.
We have a, I was lying, we don't have a good, no, we have such a good show this evening. So much fun stuff planned.
And look, our guitar, oh, he just had a guitar that matched his suit. Isn't that impressive? That's beautiful. That's very nice.
How awkward that you changed on me. Alright.
I'm gonna start the show tonight with some very happy news. You wanna hear something happy? Alright.
It's like romper room in here. Yay!
This is good news though. Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock have announced that they're getting married next month. Isn't that nice?
Yeah. Yeah, not only that, they're planning on having a traditional white trash wedding.
That'd be nice. That'd be very fun. It's true. That'd be nice. Switch back. It's better.
Yesterday, thank you, I love you too, ma'am. Oh my god, it was a sir. Yesterday, yesterday, Congress passed a bill to overhaul the nation's election system.
Are they gonna change the whole thing? You have the bill calls for new voting machines, voter education programs, and the elimination of the state of Florida.
I'm gonna break it off. Winona Ryder's in the news. Winona Ryder showed up for her shoplifting trial yesterday.
And she arrived, apparently, according to the newspapers, in a very glamorous outfit. That's right.
Yeah, apparently Ryder tried to impress the judge by wearing shoes that matched the receipt.
I'll just move on then.
The Boston Herald reports that Massachusetts has come up with a new state slogan, Massachusetts, make it yours.
Yeah. Yeah, which I think is a lot better than New York's slogan, New York, up yours.
I think it's better. They're about equal, maybe.
And then last thing I'll mention before we get started, I gotta talk about this true story.
The other day in Scotland, a man was arrested for having sex with a traffic cone.
That's a true story. That's a true story. That's a true story.
Yeah, yeah, apparently when the man arrived home, he told his wife,
Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in a terrible traffic cone.
That's what he said.
All right, let's talk about a show that's worthy of that kind of material. We have, we don't have one of those,
but we have a great, great show tonight. Our first guest, this doesn't happen often,
a war hero, bestselling author, former presidential candidate, and this week the host of Saturday Night Live.
Which one of those achievements is the greatest? Who can say? Senator John McCain's on the show.
He'll straighten us out. And then we have from Dawson's Creek and the new movie Abandon, the lovely Katie Holmes is on the show.
And she's also a war hero, I'm told.
And right over here, he looks very pretty tonight. Jimmy Vino on the Max Weinberg set. Jimmy.
Cooler when you play the gold one, I'm just telling you.
That's a gold pick card, you know.
No, it's not the same. I like it when it matches the suit. That's just me.
I got to talk about something right away here at the top of the show.
This is something that I mentioned on last night's show, and I'm speaking about it because it hits, it hits very close to home for me.
As you know, I do a lot of jokes here at the top of the show, and I mention celebrities sometimes,
and you know, most of everybody doesn't really care that much. They're just jokes.
Well, apparently, I told a joke a couple years ago, I think, about Michael Bolton.
Right? Okay.
Right? There's no surprise there.
Maybe I once made a joke about Michael Bolton, and you know, the crowd didn't really go like, huh? What?
They were like, yeah, right. And anyway, he got very upset.
I didn't even know this, but apparently he was really upset, and I have actually met the guy once or twice, true story,
at a charity softball game that I play occasionally in New Haven, and that's where I would run into Michael Bolton.
He always seemed nice enough and everything.
Then this article comes out just the other day, and it's in the Bucks County Courier Times.
I always get mine right away, and it's delivered to my door, and as you can see, it says,
Bolton ignores his detractors except for Conan O'Brien.
And there's a picture of Bolton wearing a v-neck sweater without a t-shirt underneath, which, by the way, is a huge mistake.
It just looks gay. I'm sorry.
That's me.
But anyway, there's a quote in here. This is a real quote. We didn't make this up.
This is his quote, and he's referring to the softball games we've played in together.
If we ever play another softball game together, I'm going to drive the ball through his head.
He plays third base, but he better play outfield because he won't survive the game.
Ladies and gentlemen, Michael Bolton has threatened to kill me.
That's the level of fame that I have reached in show business.
Michael Bolton wants to take me out with a softball, no less.
Now, I'll be honest. I'm making a lot of jokes about it, but I'm going to be honest with you people.
It is very scary having someone say they're going to kill you.
You know, it's really frightening to me. I'm not a courageous man. I'm a coward, and it's very scary to me.
I'm sorry. As a result of this article, I don't think I'll be doing any more Michael Bolton jokes.
Conan, come on, man. Don't let that guy get to you. You just do your job. We've got your back.
Hey. Wow. Well, thank you. That was...
Wow. Thank you very much, Mark. That's great. Mark from the band is behind me.
What do you think, folks? Should I tell a Michael Bolton joke? What do you think?
I should? All right. Okay. Here we go.
All right. Let's see. Oh, here's one.
Folks, what has long stringy hair thinks he's a great soul singer, but always manages...
What the hell was that? Mark?
Oh, my God. Something's happened to Mark. Somebody see if he's okay. Get in there.
He's dead. He was killed by a softball.
Oh, my God. Killed by a softball. Who could have done this?
Hello?
Michael Bolton!
Pender, next time you're dead, don't blink so much.
That's why you didn't get that part on Six Feet Under, you know.
Oh, my God. He's gonna blink. I know he's gonna blink.
Oh, my God. This trumpet player's dead.
I think he's signaling us in Morse code.
All right. Now, listen. Senator, I am very excited about tonight. Senator McCain is here.
This is a big deal. This should be a more prestigious show tonight.
I think we should aspire to more than that kind of nonsense.
So I want to do some serious stuff tonight. Folks, I'll talk about the story that was reported yesterday.
An important story. Saddam Hussein, running without opposition, was re-elected as president of Iraq.
Yeah, and earlier today, the results were made official. True story.
All 11,445,638, that's the real number, all those eligible voters went to the polls,
and Saddam received 100% of the vote, which I think is pretty amazing when you think about it.
What are the odds of that? So I thought tonight we'd take a few minutes to talk with the victorious candidate himself as an exclusive interview.
Please welcome, live via satellite, newly re-elected Iraqi president Saddam Hussein. Let's get him in here.
How you doing? Hello. Four more years. Yes. Four more years. Hello.
Oh, yeah. See, Pender, this is a guy that doesn't blink. All right.
No, no. Now, hello there. Don't kill people. That's true.
I am the champion, my friend, and I'll keep on dictating till the end.
That's very nice. You took it up nice and high. That's great, sir. Thank you.
Hello, Conan. How are you today? I'm very good, sir. You sound very happy.
Oh, yes. This was a big win for me, yes, and a bigger win for democracy, or as I call it, I-rac-rac-y.
I-rac-rac-y? Yes, it is just like democracy, but without all the confusing choices.
Look, look. Conan, the voters have spoken. They say they want to stay the course.
They like my vision for Iraq, and they like their hands attached to their arms.
Okay, I see how you did things then. That was my slogan. Like your arm, vote Saddam.
That's nice. Very, it's catchy. It's a nice slogan.
Yeah, I had others, too. If for Saddam, your vote is cast, your family and donkey will not be gassed.
Okay, that's kind of harsh there, I think. I got one more. Vote Hussein, and don't die.
Okay, well, sir, that one doesn't rhyme. Well, I tell you, it tested well with frightened people.
The frightened love me. Yes, well, congratulations. I guess you had a pretty terrific night when all those votes came in.
Oh, it was a fantastic night. The very same night, I also won the final round of Iraqi Idol.
Iraqi Idol, wow, congratulations.
For a moment like this, some people wait.
Ah, that's nice, yeah. Yeah, it's beautifully done, sir.
Thank you. I beat out Justin Ghorachnabalada.
Yeah, well, really? That's impressive.
Yes, that Brian Dunkleman's a douchebag. Yeah, that's all right.
Yes, yes, I beat out Justin. He had a great voice, but he had one flaw.
Oh, really? What's that? He wasn't bulletproof.
All right, sir, Mr. Hussein, that's really not cool. Now, you can rig these contests, but isn't it all a waste?
I mean, it seems pretty certain that America will attack Iraq and ultimately remove you from power. That's going to happen.
Oh, no, no, no, Gordon. I have a secret weapon. When unleashed, your American troops will run for their lives in horror.
Oh, come on, what are you talking about? What weapon do you have that we're so scared of?
All right, I've changed my position on going into Iraq. We'll take a break. When we come back, Senator John McCain is here.
There's a ritual to eating lobster during Lobster Fest. Get a group of friends and family, gather around the table at Red Lobster and begin cracking, dipping and grabbing.
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Two Amstel Lights, please.
Amstel Light, official beer of the Ski Lodge.
Ready for another light beer?
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Other light beers have their place. We just don't recommend drinking them. Amstel Light, the beer drinker's light beer.
You gotta be heartless in my line of work.
Where is the line between right and wrong?
Cancel his ticket.
This is different, man.
This guy didn't do anything.
And how far will one cop go?
Your job is not to think, it is to follow orders.
To take back his honor.
I ain't going down.
Us Weekly calls Dark Blue the first great movie of 2003.
I got all the deep, deep dirt right here.
Dark Blue, rated R. Starts Friday at theaters everywhere.
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All right, everybody, we are back.
Big show tonight. Senator John McCain coming up in just a second.
But before we get started with Senator McCain, it's the middle of October, and that means it's high time that late nights celebrate Oktoberfest.
Now, to tell us more about this popular German festival and to help lead the celebration, here is late nights Oktoberfest spokesman, Mr. T.
Everybody listen up.
The first Oktoberfest took place in 1810 at the wedding of Prince Lugwit of Bavaria.
Every year is a joyous reminder of our German heritage.
And nothing better captures that heritage than the song, Edelweiss.
Feel free to join me.
Edelweiss, Edelweiss, every morning you greet me.
Small and white, clean and bright, you look happy to meet me.
Blossom of snow, may you bloom and grow, bloom and grow forever.
Edelweiss, Edelweiss, bless my homeland forever.
Now, ladies and gentlemen, appearances, appearances by Mr. T. do not come cheap.
Before he leaves, Mr. T. has one demand. Isn't that right, Mr. T.?
I got needs, chicken legs.
That's right. Mr. T. has a plug he wants to make. So please, Mr. T., say your piece and leave quietly.
Okay.
I want you to try our new Haines tagless T-shirt.
Mr. T., everybody.
This is the hardest transition I've ever had to make in show business right now.
Mr. T. and later Hosen to Senator John McCain.
Join me while I try it.
My first guest is a war hero, best-selling author and a former presidential candidate.
This week, he's adding something completely different to his resume when he hosts Saturday Night Live with musical guest, The White Stripes.
Please welcome Senator John McCain.
Let's put that away. It's making me nervous.
In the United States Senate, I am the president of the Michael Bolton fan club.
Okay, I'm very sorry. I apologize.
There's only one member.
And even you're waffling on that issue. Yeah. How are you?
That was a great shot of him. Amazing. Amazing that he should feel that strongly about you.
I incite passion in a lot of people. Just like you. I think like you, I incite passion in people.
I think that's the only way that we are similar.
Well, the election results were in and I was glad you covered it. It was a real cliffhanger.
Yeah, for Sonamu Sen. He was the only person on the ballot, 100 percent, you know, of the people voted for him.
And I have a question. I think a lot of people have this question, which is we're talking about taking our whole army in there.
But in movies, they can always drop like one ninja into a country.
And he puts on a fake mustache and a beret and takes out Saddam, sleeps with a beautiful woman and leaves.
Is that an option? Is that something we can do in this country?
That's what I understand. Secretary Rumsfeld is planning.
Rumsfeld is going to be thinking about that? Yeah, he'd like to do that himself.
Right, right. And some of us would like to send him.
I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it. Yeah. I didn't mean it, Rummy.
Now you, of course. Call him Rummy. His friends call him Rummy. You call him Rummy? His friends do.
Oh, OK. For Rumsfeld, I thought he had a little thinking. OK.
I think it might be both. A little of both? OK.
We're going to get in a lot of trouble here tonight.
You're going to need Mr. T to bail you out when this is over.
That was really a beautiful moving scene.
He saluted all of our German heritage.
I'm Scotch and Irish, but boy, that was really...
That was a tear-jerker for you? Yeah.
Now talk about, you know, causing trouble and making people mad.
You and the President, President Bush, you see eye to eye on the Iraq issue.
You both feel strongly that we need to do something about this now. Yes.
But you have not seen eye to eye on many things.
You guys have what could best be called a complicated relationship.
I think that's a kind description. Right.
Actually, we have a very cordial relationship. We do.
We had a very tough campaign, and we met and talked, and I supported his election.
I believe that he's done a great job leading the country after September 11.
You know what I mean? And he's got a great team around him. Right.
We do disagree on some issues, though, and that's just...
We disagree during our campaigns. Right.
So you shouldn't be surprised. Does it ever get sort of personal,
like you're stopped by the White House to see him and you both shake hands,
and he grips her and you grip her and you both...
That kind of thing? Does that ever happen?
No, but I make my kids still sing Hail to the Chief in the morning,
but other than that, I have no ambition.
Does he have nicknames for everybody? Does President Bush have a nickname for you?
I've been told it's four letters, but I have not heard it correctly.
There's been some speculation. Some people say,
well, what if Dick Cheney decided not to go another term as...
Right. Exactly. Right.
I admire your candor about the whole thing.
Why am I the one that's trying to be so polite about everything,
and you're like, yeah, there's a little ticker, Michael, out the window.
The vice president only has two duties.
One is to preside over the Senate in case of a tie vote issue. Right. Right.
And the other is to inquire daily as to the health of the president. Right.
And neither one of those seems to be interested.
So you wouldn't be interested in that job. If they said to you,
you could be President Bush's vice president,
there's probably a lot of people in this country that would like to see that.
Why? I really would not like to do that.
I'm happy in the Senate, and I'm happy with the way that my life is.
And when I was much younger, I used to go to a lot of undisclosed locations,
but I don't like that anymore.
Especially when I was a young Navy pilot.
Okay, I don't want to hear about that.
There's a lot of children sitting out there.
Now, what about Gore? A lot of people wonder what Gore is going to do.
It seems like he's going to run again.
Does that seem like a wise decision to you for Gore to run again?
First of all, I think he weighs over 600 pounds now.
I don't know if anybody's... He looks like he's lost his mind.
Whenever he's talking on the news now, he's holding a submarine sandwich half the time.
And of course, as you know, he can't get his wedding ring on anymore.
That's true. That's true. He had to take his wedding ring off because his finger got too fat.
That's a good line, isn't it?
Oh! Is this thing on? Did everyone get that?
But, uh... I don't...
I think my finger's getting a little fat right around now.
I think he's making noises like he might run again.
And yet I think he's going to have some pretty stiff competition.
I think it's John Kerry and John Edwards, Joe Lieberman, several governors.
You know, it's a line I've used quite often, but my friend Morris Udall, who is a member of the House,
said if you're a United States Senator, unless you're under indictment or detoxification,
you automatically consider yourself a candidate for President of the United States.
So we get lots of senators who have those aspirations.
Now, you have been very honest about the fact that you have always wanted to be President of the United States.
There's another possibility, which is you could switch to the Democratic Party, run as a Democrat,
and a lot of people think that you would be the most potent candidate as a Democrat.
Do you ever think about doing that? Late at night?
Generally, I think about vegetarian. That's pretty wide open.
There's not much competition for the vegetarian ticket.
So that's the one you would go with? Yeah, I thought I would go with that.
Seriously, though, have you ever thought about that? No?
No, I don't.
You scare Bush.
But you're the guy that tells him that you're doing that.
McCain just switched to the Democrats. He'd be like, oh, oh!
No, I don't think...
You like my impression, though, don't you? Absolutely, yeah.
It's good. I can tell. It's like you're with him.
You know, we have a lot to talk about.
Let's take a break right now, and more with Senator John McCain in just a second, so stick around.
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We are back. I'm sitting here with Senator John McCain.
Let me ask you a question. It's not a funny question, but I don't do those anymore.
Ever since Michael Bolton.
That's right. I'm scared now. I'm running scared.
Today it's in the newspaper, and it's a scary idea that North Korea, it's been revealed, is developing nuclear weapons.
They're unabashed about it.
And it has, I know, me thinking, I think a lot of people thinking, what's our role now if, for example,
one of our main reasons for wanting to go into Iraq is this is a dangerous man who's developing dangerous weapons.
That may be the end up being the case with many countries.
This is a dangerous man who's developing dangerous weapons.
That may be the end up being the case with many countries in the world.
And where, you know, where do we draw the line?
I mean, how can we be a nation that says any time a developing country or a country that we don't particularly like develops nuclear weapons, we've got to take them on?
Well, let me give you a slightly different take.
And that is that in 1992, there was a lot of us who said, look, you're making a deal with the Koreans that they're not going to abide by.
And they're going to continue to build these weapons.
They were a threat in 1992, 1993, 1994.
But if we had addressed the issue then, that was before they had nuclear weapons.
Now, now they've got nuclear weapons and a missile that could take one to Tokyo.
I mean, this is a very serious situation.
You could draw a comparison with that with Saddam Hussein.
A lot of people say, wait, don't, you know, let him always think, well, what would happen if Saddam Hussein developed the nuclear weapon and had the missile to do it?
Then you have a much greater challenge.
So I think the lesson of trying to bribe Korea, which is basically what we try to do with the North Koreans, doesn't work.
And I want to emphasize one other thing that we seem to get lost and maybe those of us who are more concerned don't get across as well as we should.
If tomorrow Saddam Hussein said, OK, I'll get rid of all this stuff.
You can bring your inspectors in.
There'll be legitimate inspections.
Then he could stay as wacky as he is, he could keep watching his torture movies and taken by Agra for as long as he wanted to.
We wouldn't we wouldn't take him down.
So it's kind of it's kind of up to him in a way.
Right. And he keeps saying, OK, I'll do it.
And then a week later, there's a caveat or no, I've changed my mind.
He kicked all inspectors out in nineteen eighty nineteen ninety eight.
We passed a resolution calling for a regime change then.
Right. So I hope that tomorrow he undergoes some kind of conversion.
And says, OK, I'll get rid of this stuff.
Let everybody and let them live everywhere.
For eleven years, for eleven years, he has not.
And that's that's the challenge that we face.
And going back to Korea, all these years, the North Koreans taking billions from us, oil and food and all kinds of other stuff have been developing these weapons.
And now we've got a real problem, not just us, the Japanese have got a problem.
Let me bring up another topic, which the newspaper today, which is we finally have this resolution.
We're going to move forward.
The president has a free hand to do what he needs to do in Iraq. And now we find out that the French really don't want to cooperate with this.
Do you hate the French?
I mean, they wear those striped shirts and they're on the bicycle and there's always a baguette in their basket.
It's annoying. They're very rude.
No, I'm just what do we do?
Is the Lord the Lord said the poor will always be with us.
The French will always be with us.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, they're they're very difficult to for me to love and enjoy.
I mean, the culture, the beauty, the most beautiful city in many respects in the world, Paris and all that.
And then then they try and get a meal there and not.
And it's.
So you're fine to have on.
I hope that the French will will come around.
The Germans haven't treated this very well either.
The guy running for reelection made some very unusual statements.
That's unfortunate. It's really unfortunate because we had a half a million young American soldiers there for 40 years.
And we were not only protecting ourselves, but we were protecting them.
But the president and I think one of the finest men that America has ever produced, Colin Powell,
working hard with the UN, working with the French, working with our allies. And I think we'll do we need everybody for this?
No, you don't think so. So it could be possible that we could say like, OK, French, but you're with us, right?
You know, and there'll be others. And the other point is that the people in the in Saddam Hussein's neighborhood don't like him any better than we do.
He's through used gas on his enemies and his own people.
And they'd like to see him out of the neighborhood, too.
So there's an incentive for them. Yeah, they're afraid we would go in and then leave him in power.
And depart as we did in 1991. We all now know it was a mistake to leave Saddam Hussein in power after the Persian Gulf War.
I think it'll be worked out. I think the conflict will be relatively easy.
I'm not saying any time you send young men and women into harm's way, it's easy.
But it's hard for me to imagine a soldier that's willing to die for Saddam Hussein, despite all the good words he had for you on this program, which were really impressive.
Well, I'm sure he's watching right now. He's a big fan of our show and he has a really large satellite dish.
I don't know if you're in between torture films. He usually tries to get in Conan O'Brien.
Some say it's a smooth transition.
The another he might even be watching Saturday Night Live. Let's talk about Saturday Night Live for one second.
Any chance when Giuliani was on that show, one of the last prominent politicians to do that show, he appeared in drag.
Any chance he'll be appearing in drag this Saturday? No.
Okay. No, they couldn't find a dress that would fit in that dress.
Are your kids excited about this? It's the first time I've gotten my kids' attention and appreciation since I can remember.
It's unbelievable how they... After everything you've done, you have to go and be at Saturday Night Live to get that.
That's right. And it is a great thrill. And they're talented young people, as you know, and it's great fun.
You know, when you think about it, this program's been on for 28 years with the same guy running it.
It's pretty amazing. Some say he's like a madman that must be taken out of power like Saddam Hussein.
Oh, wait a minute. He's the executive producer of this show.
That's a terrible mistake on my part. Love you, Lorne.
I'll mention the book quickly, Worth the Fighting For. It's a memoir.
And you actually talking about some of the people that really inspired you, and some of the choices surprised me.
Marlon Brando, you know. I mean, Teddy Roosevelt, I would have expected, but Ted Williams, Marlon Brando.
There's some interesting figures in there.
Yeah. In the case of Marlon Brando, he played a great movie that was very unappreciated called Viva Zapata about the great Mexican Revolutionary.
And he was a great revolutionary. And he played him very well.
It was a movie made by Kazan and John Steinbeck wrote the screenplay.
And it's a wonderful film. And that inspired me. And then I read about Zapata.
And he's a guy that stuck to his principles, did what he believed in.
Ted Williams. It's an interesting book because I expected all of the figures in it to be political figures.
And you read through it. It's just people like any of us who are, you know, come from different Ernest Hemingway or, you know, who inspired you in one way or another.
So the title of the book is from Ernest Hemingway's famous novel For Whom the Bell Tolls. At the end of it, the hero Robert Jordan, the American who's fighting in the Spanish Civil War, says the world is a fine place and worth the fighting for.
And I'll hate to leave it just as he's about to die. It's a wonderful book. If you I'm sure you had to read it in high school.
Yeah, no, I did. Yeah. Yeah. It was a great book. I thought you meant this book. I read this in high school.
All high schoolers should read that book.
I'm not that young. Worth the Fighting For is available now and this weekend, as we've said, Senator McCain hosting Senate Live with musical guest The White Stripes. That'll be a fantastic show, I'm sure.
Thank you for being here. Come back. Senator John McCain, everyone. Katie Holmes coming up. We'll be right back.
Hey, guys, meet the new guy. Hi, I'm Bob Holtham. Hey, help yourself to some snacks. Speaking of which, you know what would taste good about now? Yeah, big, hot and juicy cheeseburger with everything. I can almost taste it.
Telling me if there are places to get a hamburger that good this late, I not only drive, I buy. Really? Wendy's classic hamburgers are made fresh, so they're always hot and juicy so you can eat great even late. You must be the new guy. Yeah.
Wendy's, it's better here.
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We went on a Disney cruise with Mickey and Goofy. I had my own club and my mom had a mud bath with daddy.
The ship had a great spa. It's no funny. And guess what? At the island, Captain Hook was there. Did you just get back? That was a year ago. That was my baby brother. His name is Joe, but mom calls him a little souvenir.
Obviously, we all had a great time.
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NBC Tuesday 10-9 Central. The incredible finale of Kingpin. The empire starts to collapse. I will unleash the entire government upon you.
Do whatever mommy tells you, okay?
Where is Chadwell?
I don't know.
When one federal agent defies all orders.
You! You want to die? Get down!
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Finish it.
The Central Washington Sportsman Show.
The Sundome in Yakima.
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A mix of sun and clouds on Tuesday with a high of 52.
Alright everybody we're back. Katie Holmes coming up in just a bit.
Now as everybody knows it's October. We've mentioned that already on the show.
What you may not know is that the third week in October is White History Week.
That's right.
Folks this is a time to focus on the contributions white people have made to history.
And maybe even learn something you didn't know about white people.
Who are the whitest people ever?
Surely it must be the Irish.
From the Great Chicago Fire to Chappaquiddick, their accomplishments speak for themselves.
They put their stamp on American history like a punch in the mouth.
This is their story.
In the mid-1800s the US experienced the biggest ever boom in Irish immigration.
In city after city these new arrivals were faced with the same problem.
How to set up elaborate crime networks specializing in extortion, murder for hire, gambling and prostitution.
So many of them joined the police force.
Next they tackled politics.
With the help of people like Boss Tweed they created a model of machine government that would ensure them the right to vote twice.
Away from the big cities the Irish dug the canals and built the railroads of America.
Spreading venereal disease and annoying music wherever they went.
They settled the Appalachian Valley where they reinvented themselves as white trash.
And across America they became cowboys, composers, inventors and congressmen.
To this day every March 17th they celebrate their proud heritage by going completely out of their mind.
Irish Americans, the whitest people ever.
Makes me proud.
Alright, take a break, we'll come back. Katie Holmes is here, stick around.
Hi. Hey guys. So? So, my girlfriend bought this furniture. Uh huh. Except there's no instructions.
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Hey honey. Look. That's great. But where's the bookcase that I bought?
What?
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Last call tonight. The not-so-bad Ray Liotta.
Badass, badass. I mean, you're not so bad. You're a nice guy. I did a movie with Miss Biggie. I didn't cook her. Carson after Conan on NBC.
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KNDO Local News proudly presents the Academic All-Star Award to a local high school athlete every Wednesday night on KNDO Local News at 6. Join KNDO and Central Washington University in celebrating the success of our area youth.
There's only one place for live local news in the morning. KNDO Local News, Northwest today.
Local news and your fast alert weather forecast every 15 minutes from 5 a.m. to 7.
The only place for the action cam, current road conditions or travel problems, school and business closings and delays.
And an accurate forecast to start your day.
That's why we say KNDO Local News. More local news more often.
Here's what's making news in your neighborhood.
If you would like to share your neighborhood news, please write to us at KNDO Local News.
All right, everybody, we're back.
My next guest stars on the popular television show Dawson's Creek beginning tomorrow.
You can see her in the film Abandon. Please welcome Katie Holmes.
Oh, I was thinking how tall you are. I know. And then I've worse. I have I got new boots.
You got new boots. So you're six feet nine inches tall. Exactly. It's very intimidating.
Well, you're very tall. That's true. I'm trying to keep up. No, thank you. I work out a lot.
Wait, that wouldn't make me tall at all. I've lost my mind. Thank you for being here, though.
And I know that you you flew in like on the red eye. You flew overnight. Well, actually, I guess you just get here or something.
I I I got trapped in Charlotte last night and I was flying back. I was flying in from Wilmington.
And I've been having some problems lately because I was in L.A.
And then I was, you know, flew back to Wilmington, all that traveling a lot.
And I know what it means to get ready to get your security thing. It has a little s on the ticket.
So I usually check it when I get my ticket and I'm all geared and ready to spread my arms, spread my legs, take my shoes off, all of that.
It's just important. Right. We've all got to do our part. We all have to do our part.
However, I got it in Wilmington and then I said, that's OK, Kate and Charlotte, you're just going to get right on.
I was in line behind two, in my opinion, suspicious people with passports.
They just picked me without even looking at my ticket. They picked me. Yeah, because you're Katie Holmes.
That wasn't it. Yes, that's what it is. If I was a security guard, I'd tell you, come over here.
And that's what it is. It's not. But you know what? I didn't even talk to them.
I'm sure it's just random that it's you every single time. Well, it's not fair, Conan.
It's not fair. They don't touch me. I'm telling you, I go right through. Conan O'Brien, no, let them go through.
Now, was the flight OK? Well, that was another story.
See, I'm not really my family. We have a lot of kids, so we didn't really have room for a dog.
And so I'm not really a dog person. I like them, but I don't like them close. You're not used to them.
I'm not used to them anyway. So this is when I was going to L.A.
And I was very excited because I had my big movie premiere on Monday and I was feeling really excited.
So I get up early on Saturday morning and I wear a cute outfit, I thought.
And so I got on the plane and I stumbled to my seat because it was early.
And I see this huge golden retriever just sitting on the floor, not in a cage.
And I was like, what? You know, it was a dog. Like, that's not allowed. Right.
So anyway, the sweet woman is sitting right next to my seat.
I hope that you're not allergic to dogs. And I'm like, no, dog. Right.
I didn't think because I have a golden retriever and you can't take a golden retriever.
You can't just bring a dog on the plane. I mean, if this is true, I'm taking my dog everywhere now.
Yeah. So apparently she was special. She needed it or whatever. Right.
But the funny thing was, is she... Oh, wait a minute. This changes everything back up.
What? You see she's blind or whatever. No, no, she wasn't blind.
Oh, OK. That would be kind of insensitive. For a minute I was like, yeah, she's blind or whatever her gail is.
Well, I am an actress. Yeah, right, right. I'm Katie Holmes. I don't care about your dog.
Get a cane, you know. Right. Cool.
Anyway. That's funny. Well, it gets worse because then she's sitting there and I'm kind of settling in, getting my blanket.
And she keeps looking around like she's looking for somebody near us. And I was like, what is happening?
And then this flight attendant comes by and she goes, Miss, to me, do you work for USAIR?
Like, I should probably remove myself because when you work for them they can... You can't sit up front or something.
Right, right. Because I think she wanted a seat for her dog. I almost got kicked out for the dog.
So they were trying to get you out of your seat so that they could have a golden retriever recline in your chair.
And watch like the movie on the flight. Right. Wow. That's rough.
I mean, it's not really in the whole grand scheme of things, but it didn't... It kind of ruined my morning.
It bruises the ego a little bit. It did. Especially after getting checked.
At least would have it been a turtle or something even worse. Like, can you get out of that seat so that we can put a turtle here, a wet turtle?
Yeah, and suddenly I'm like in the aisle the whole flight to LA. Yeah, that would not have been good. No.
But everything else is going well, the movie you mentioned. Tell us about Abandon.
Yeah, I'm excited. Abandon opens tomorrow and it's this psychological thriller set on a college campus.
Kind of an Ivy League type of school where there's a lot of pressure involved. Very smart kids.
So this is definitely a departure for you though from Dawson. Very smart.
No. Yes, because on Dawson, aren't you injured somehow? No. Because this is a different thing for you. This is very heavy.
Yeah, it was kind of intense. It's an intense shooting schedule.
But yeah, I play this character who's struggling with her past. Her boyfriend disappeared two years prior when you meet her in the beginning.
And he's starting to come back and meanwhile this cop is starting to ask questions and she's all stressed out. All stressed out.
And then she falls in love with the cop.
Did you just give away the movie or that's okay? Oh yeah. And then they're happy for the rest of their lives.
This is great. After it's revealed the butler did it.
The movie company will be mad at you that will Abandon opens tomorrow and Dawson's Creek of course airs every Wednesday night at 8 on the WB.
Thanks for making time for us. Oh, thanks for having me. Katie Holmes everybody will take a break. We'll be right back.
Tuesday on AUSA Scott Foley thought he had the perfect jury. You just stacked the jury with little old ladies. Until now.
She's fine, but now he needs a secret weapon. The one thing that pretty women hate most is other pretty women.
Are you calling me pretty? I meant it as an insult. AUSA NBC Tuesday after Frasier. Hate is a four letter word.
So is love. Love. Love. Which word would you teach your children?
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An exploration into Janeway's past...
Shannon O'Donnell, the first of a long line of Janeway explorers.
...turns her childhood hero...
I wouldn't have become a Starfleet captain if it wasn't for her.
...into a shattered dream.
The whole town was against her.
And history will never be the same.
You're living in the past.
Sounds like you've been sleeping with the enemy.
On the next Star Trek Voyager.
Star Trek Voyager, weekdays at 4 on KNDO.
Okay everybody, that's our show. I do want to thank all my guests. Stay tuned for Last Call with Carson Daly. We'll see you tomorrow. Good night.
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