Before you go in that jury room and decide later on, at this point, do you think sexless relationships can work?
Aren't they all? No, just a little joke.
Well, no, it's not such a little joke.
I asked our audience before, how many people have sort of a bad sexless, bad relationship?
No one raises their hands. People just don't admit that.
That's a lot more common, I think.
There's a lot that takes place. Sometimes things just get, you know, after many years, people get tired or busy.
So I want to hear their stories and what the whole thing is about.
Alright, and then you'll decide. Thanks, Rhonda.
Thank you, Bill.
Alright, Tim, tell me about your sex life.
Well, it is pretty bad. It's about as bad as you can get, really.
One to two times a year. If I'm a really good boy, maybe three or four.
But, uh...
But that's the... you know, I don't think it's the quantity of how many times you do it a year is important.
I think it's the quality.
Diana, twice a year...
I've got to tell you, I don't care how terrific the sex is, it can be the best sex on this planet.
Twice a year between married couples seems a little bit strange, doesn't it?
How come he... you know, that's the only thing that makes him happy.
You know, there's got to be other things in between...
No, that's not so. That is not the only thing that makes me happy.
...that can make you happy.
Tim, you sleep on the couch.
Yes.
Why do you do that?
Well, because it gets real cold in the bedroom.
I mean, it's not like I haven't tried.
Turn up the electric blanket, you know.
When I do sleep in the bedroom, I try to cuddle and caress, but you know, she just seems...
she just does not seem to be interested.
We don't hold hands, we kiss rarely.
You know, it's like a brother-sister relationship.
In fact, my brother and sister who do live together share a trailer, have...
No, don't tell me your brother and sister. I don't want to know.
We're not doing that show today.
A better relationship, you know.
But you had normal sex, didn't you, your first year together?
Or you had a lot more sex?
Yeah.
What happened?
I don't know. It seems like things started to go bad as far as the relationship.
I had, you know, during our courtship years and months, I should say, you know,
and then making love and, you know, oh, hon, let's have a baby, you know.
So we did it every day.
In my mind, you know, we were going to have a baby, you know, would be the result of it.
Diana, are you telling me that the sex you had your first year was to have a baby?
It wasn't because you were in love with him and that was just part of being in love with him?
It was part of being in love with him, yes.
You know, it wasn't... it was because I was in love with him that I, you know, we agreed to have a baby.
Do you still love him as much as you did?
That's what I was about to ask.
Yes, I do. Yes, I do.
I, you know, if we... even though we may not have the sexual desire, or at least I don't, you know,
I've kind of, you know, lost the sexual desire, I do love him.
I love him very much.
You know, he takes care of me and...
Yeah.
But, you know, it may be dwindling, you know, over these next years because he has a...
he has this problem where he thinks he needs to have sex... he needs to have physical...
Four times a year, God forbid.
Yeah.
I know.
You know, you madman, you Tim.
It doesn't matter.
Diana, I don't want to see...
I say it doesn't matter.
Diana, I don't want to be this...
You're happy.
I don't want to be disrespectful, Diana.
Yeah.
But for most people, sex once or twice or three or four times a year among reasonably young married couples
is very unusual, very unusual, you know, twice a week, once a month even.
It's very unusual? Okay, I don't know.
Maybe I'm wrong. We're going to find out today.
Okay, that's the thing. Okay, that's... so you're saying it's very unusual.
I'm guessing.
Is that... okay, you're guessing.
I would say, you know, it's not... it's not important.
It's, you know, as long as... well, apparently in our case it is a problem.
You know, it is important because it's a problem.
He's having a problem with it, which that means, you know, we have a problem with it because we're together.
Diana, did having the kids have anything to do with the change in your sex life?
I think it did.
Yeah.
Tim says yes.
Yeah, I agree with that. I agree with that.
It can... you know, you always... you know, the kids, you know, interfere and, you know,
if you're sleeping in the same room with your four-year-olds, I mean, it's difficult to, you know,
have decent, passionate love, you know.
You don't really try?
No, not really.
So what happens, Tim, when you go to Diana and you try to have sex with your wife?
Well, up in the bedroom, like I said, you know, she's got her back to me.
I try to caress her or, you know, kiss her or whatever and she just lays there.
Ignores you.
Yeah. Yeah.
Diana?
Sometimes I'm not sure whether she's asleep or not.
What happens... what goes through your mind when Tim are making these advances,
when Tim makes these advances to you?
What are you thinking about?
I'm usually thinking how early I have to get up in the morning.
Well, excuse me. I've got to work.
And, you know, about him saying we never hold hands or cuddle, you know, we do.
You know, Diana, you told our producers that one of the problems is you've lost respect
for Tim.
I think it's leading to that.
And is it... why is that?
Well, because he's unhappy because of our lack of sex.
And I think there's more out there.
We've got to find our own happiness.
And he's not going to make me happy by, you know, if I have sex with him and have to
tolerate it...
Diana, are you hearing?
That's what I feel like.
Are you hearing?
I can't help it.
That's what I feel like.
Are you hearing how everybody's reacting here?
Yeah, everybody's laughing.
No, no.
You know, I don't think everybody's laughing.
I think everybody's very concerned.
Tim, are you going to leave Diana?
Are you considering leaving her?
I have thought about it, but no.
No, I love her.
I really do.
Are you going to put up with this?
Well, no.
I don't plan on putting up with it.
At the moment, I really don't know what to do.
No, I don't want to put up with it because I don't want to...
How about counseling?
Well, there is... yeah.
Have you gone to counseling yet?
No, we haven't.
You know, here's a question.
Have you ever thought of cheating on her?
Yes, I've thought about it, too.
Yes.
Diana, how would you feel if he went out and found solace with another woman?
I'd be upset.
I mean, isn't there something that can curb the sexual appetites of men?
Next up, Lorena Bobbitt.
All right, Diana, we're going to come back.
All right.
Next up, she says she doesn't want to sleep with him, even though sex with him is great.
He says the real reason may be that she's having sex with someone else,
and he's not going to put up with it anymore.
What's the real story?
We'll find out in a moment.
We'll find out.
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Hi, everyone.
I'm Steve Hahn, owner of Performance, Volkswagen, Audi, Suzuki.
Once again, we're proud to be an official Toys for Tots drop site.
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Please join us in putting a smile on their faces.
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Very good, Brian.
Thank you for helping me.
You need to have sex to make a marriage work.
Sex is important in a marriage, definitely, because you're going to cheat if you don't have good sex with your partner.
Anything can last, but whether they're happy or not is, you know, they may just be having sex with each other just once a year.
Today, judge for yourself, sexless couples. That seems to be the problem. Can their relationships last?
Stacy says sex with her fiance, Brandon, was great at the beginning when they used to make love three times a day,
but now she only sleeps with him once a month and says it wouldn't be that often if she didn't feel so guilty turning him down.
Brandon can't understand how Stacy's sex drive could have changed so much, and he suspects she may be seeing someone else.
He's tired of fighting about sex and so frustrated that he's considering breaking off his engagement and ending his relationship with Stacy.
So, Brandon, how has Stacy's lack of sexual drive affected your relationship?
It has affected it quite a bit from when I first met her.
When I first met her, we were together all the time. We had sex, like you said, three, almost sometimes five days, five times a day.
Five times a day. Maybe you used it all up.
I might have run out of energy, but...
But you've changed from literally many times a day to once a month. It's a very big change.
Yes.
What do you think caused that?
I really don't know. I've had times where I've had her lie to me about certain things.
We'd get into an argument. She'd go out and drink with her friends and be with her...
Most of her friends are guys, and I told her I understood about that, but they're mostly her ex-boyfriends.
Do you think, before I go to you, Stacy, do you think, Brandon, that she's cheating on you?
There were two times that she told me about that I do know about. The other times, I can't say.
There were two times that she did cheat on you and admitted it?
Yes.
Stacy, let me go to you. What happened that sex went from three, four times a day to once a month?
One, I had a baby. That took a lot out of me. I went through a lot, through the birth and everything else, and after that, it was just...
I didn't want it.
How long has it been since the baby?
Eighteen months.
Eighteen months. It's been a very long time.
Yeah.
Okay. What's the other reason?
The compassion's gone. The excitement. He used to be so romantic and really try and just...
Now it's just he turns on, you want to have sex? Oh, yeah. No.
No.
Yes.
No, it's not. Okay? I turn around.
Brandon, she's telling you she's not excited. You're saying, oh, yes, I am.
If she's not excited, then why is she...
Why am I not excited, Brandon? No.
Because all you do is you turn around and you're like, okay, you know, you want to? And I'm like, no.
I asked you to like hold me, rub my back, caress me, do things like that.
That's right.
Let's make it romantic.
No, you don't.
All right. No, just hold on for a minute, all right? All right. When I have money, I take her out to dinner.
I bring roses to her in the morning before she even wakes up. There's a rose laying there right for her. All the time.
No.
All right. I come home. She lied to me about going out to dinner with her best friend.
Instead, she went out to dinner with another guy and to the movies.
And who was that guy, Brandon?
Well, it doesn't matter. That's not the point.
Have you cheated?
Now, what am I supposed to think?
He considers it cheating. I say no, okay?
You...
No.
Have you slept with another man?
Not when I was with him.
Okay, let me ask that again. I'm a little confused here. All right?
Yeah.
Stacy, you were married, still living at home, and did you go out and have an affair?
Did you actually have sex with someone else while you were married or while you were still with Brandon?
No.
So what do you mean by not when I was with him? Were you separated at the time?
Yes. Well, the first one, okay, just to make this short.
The first time I was with someone else when I met him and I was breaking it off with that person and we were just seeing each other.
No.
We did not even have sex, Brandon.
No, no, no.
No.
That's right, because I waited.
So did I, but no.
All right, that's out of respect.
For one, we were sitting outside the house.
We turned around and the first thing she told me is if we have the relationship, the first thing is don't lie to me, don't cheat on me.
And how many times have you lied to me, Brandon?
I asked the same respect.
Oh, okay.
We wouldn't have sex for two weeks before we went out.
While she was, after she said that, a week after that, she was with another guy.
A week?
So what am I supposed to do?
Stacy, once you committed to be with Brandon, did you have sex with someone else?
Well, because it wasn't a commitment to him.
It wasn't, so the communication was just...
Then why did you say that?
I didn't. I never said that there was a commitment between you and me at that point.
Look.
All right.
Let's take a question.
Yeah, I want to ask the first couple, the lady there, have you ever had an orgasm?
Me?
Why? You know what, Diana, why don't you ask him first?
That's a very personal question. Have you ever had an orgasm?
Yeah.
Okay.
Then it's fair.
I mean, that's a legitimate question.
Yeah, I've had. I've had an orgasm.
Why is there a problem with you and your husband having sex?
I've had to be taught to have an orgasm. I don't know.
By whom, though?
Maybe it's not an orgasm, but it's a special feeling.
You know what, I don't think I want to describe what an orgasm is.
Yes, you have a question.
I'd just like to make a comment to that lady in the first couple.
To me, it sounds like you're very selfish.
You kept saying, can't he change? Isn't there something to reduce his sex drive?
I mean, if you're in a relationship, it's about compromise.
It is. It is. And that's what our problem is.
We've got to find a way to compromise.
But we know how, you know, they always say, well, you've got to romance her.
You've got to have some time out together, and that will improve a sex drive, you know.
Diana, is it because...
What is there to decrease a sex drive?
Diana, is it because you have five kids and you're just plain tired?
Yes, that's one of the reasons, only one of the reasons.
But, you know, I think maybe that's just an excuse, too.
Does Tim help you out with the kids?
I stay home and take care of the kids.
You do. And you've admitted, though, it's just an excuse.
So if you had to really nail it down, Diana...
To really nail it down.
Why are you doing this, you think?
Well, like you said, you know, I'm starting to lose respect.
But what is it that he does that you lose respect?
All I've heard you say, Diana, is that he's unhappy.
Yeah, he's unhappy. You know, I...
You know, he's always got a frown on his face, and he's always grumpy.
You know, and how could I love somebody or, you know, get passionate with somebody
that has such this negative attitude on life?
Tim, why are you unhappy? Why are you unhappy all the time?
I'm not always unhappy. I really am not.
I mean, when you take care of five kids all day long, you know,
and sometimes you're up most of the night with a baby when he's awake.
So it's tough no matter what you do.
It's tough for both of you. I can see that.
When we return, a sex therapist tells us how some relationships can succeed without sex
and how racy videotapes can help you get all the sex you need.
Stay with us.
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Welcome back. We're talking about sexless marriages, and I'll bet you there are a lot of people who can relate to that out there.
Today our jury selected from our studio audience, led by celebrity guest form and actress, comedian Rhonda Shear,
will help us decide sexless couples, can their relationships last?
Sex therapist Michael Perry says that unequal sexual desire is perhaps the most common problem he's encountered in his 14 years of practice.
He also says it's one of the hardest problems to cure, but his line of racy videos is designed to help.
Dr. Perry, what are some of the reasons a person's sex life changes?
I think it's time, I think it's circumstances, and it's just people not trying enough.
People used to make an effort to make sex good. Let's face it, when you were dating, you really tried to make this date special.
And nowadays people, when they're in a relationship that lasted a long time, they're not making it special anymore, they're not trying.
Are you just saying it just gets old?
It gets old, and there's ways to make it new again.
And how do we do that? You just happen to have this line of videos.
I just happen to have these videos that will help you do that.
You know, by the way, we were going to show the videos, and we were looking at some. Michael, they're porno. That's what they are.
They're explicit. They're not pornographic.
No, you know what I mean. If you've seen them, you know they look vastly different than pornography.
But they definitely are explicit. I mean, if you're going to show somebody what to do, if they're going to give you new ideas, you're certainly going to show up.
This is the age of television. These are modern marriage manuals, so why not show what you're trying to teach?
What do you see happening with these relationships? We have Dianne and Tim, who we're talking about sex once a year.
Dianne, who's very tired. Now, Tim, you're not working right now, right?
No.
So you're unemployed, and you're staying home taking care of the kids.
Right.
By the way, could that be one of the reasons why you're feeling kind of bad and low self-esteem and not real comfortable with yourself?
Yeah, that would be a problem, I guess. You know, five kids, it's a lot to handle.
I don't like those video, those pornography videos.
Dianne, I'm not surprised.
I don't like, you know, that does not, that doesn't give me the desire.
I totally agree, and I'm not producing porn, so you need to distinguish between what I do and what you see out there in the market.
Yeah, I was, Dianne, I was just joking a little bit with you. So what is going on? What can help these people?
I see a real problem here. People that I think love each other, but nothing's happening. What can you do?
I do, too. I mean, the first question I would ask you, too, is why are you married? What's going on here?
Why are you making an effort to stay together when it seems that you're not really happy? What's keeping you together?
I think you need to examine what's keeping you together. If the pluses are better, are higher than the negatives, then stay together.
If you're not, you need to change something. Change partners or change what you're doing.
Okay, well, I tell you what's keeping us together. I would think if we didn't have, you know, three kids through this marriage, we probably would be separated.
So you want to live miserably with three kids, or do you want to make your life better? That's what it comes down to.
You can stay where you are, which is in a very stuck place. I feel a lot of animosity between you two, or you can get off that and you can do something new and different.
It's your choice. Yeah, we want to, I want to do something, you know, different, but I want to include us as a family.
Absolutely. If you want to keep your family together, why don't we make the family better? Let's make your relationship better.
Rather than living in a miserable situation, let's change the situation. How do we do that? You start talking with each other.
Oh, yeah, that's the main point there, is lack of communication. That's right. That's why I'm, you know, losing disrespect.
That's right. You've got to be able to tell him what you want, and you've got to be able to clearly tell her what you want, but in a way that's going to get you what you want.
You know, if you say, you know, you never do this and I'm sick and tired of that, and now let's make love, guess what? It's not going to happen.
Diana, is the reason you don't respect him is because he's not working? He doesn't have a job?
No, no, because, you know, we got, we were married under those conditions, so that's not, that's not why.
I think it is because his outlook on life, and I think that's what's really gotten me down in the past few years.
He, he said, you know, he hates, hates his life, and you know, and I'm part of his life, so he might as well say he's hating me and his family.
Why don't you ask him? Why don't you ask him? Tim, do you hate Diana? Deep down inside, is there a part of you that hates her?
No, I don't, but I also don't like the way that I've been treated in the past either.
She feels the only way she can communicate with me is to insult or to make, you know, treat me like a child.
You feel, you feel that they're insulting, you know, that's why I don't talk to you anymore.
What does she say to us? What does she say that you say is insulting?
You know, every time I say something, you, you're so offensive.
But what, let's, let's see what happens. What does she say, Tim, that you find so insulting?
Well, not necessarily insulting, but things that hurt.
Like what?
I mean, well, okay. I remember one time I was down, and she told me, well, why don't you go and sit and feel sorry for yourself for a couple of hours.
You'll feel better. And I do find it hard to talk.
I mean, I don't say go feel sorry for yourself.
Diana, let me, let me give you a phrase that might really help here.
Can you just ask him, how can I help you? Or what do you need right now?
And then you might look like you're trying to help him rather than look like you're trying to put him down.
If he's feeling hurt, maybe it's because you stabbed him.
But if you do something which is non-threatening, you ask a question like, how can I help you now?
Which of course is going to help you too, because if he's better, if he's feeling more up, you say you want him to have a more up outlook.
Help him have a more up outlook.
Michael, let's go to, wait a second, Diana.
Let me go to Brandon and Stacey for a moment, because something's really been bugging me.
Brandon, you're not married, but you're going to get married, right?
Yes.
You're about to marry someone who you know is not going to have sex with you, is having less and less sex all the time.
Why are you doing that?
Good question. Because I love her.
We've been together for four years. We have a child together.
And basically right now, between the way we're looking at it, the only reason why we're together is because of our son.
So you're willing to pay the price of not having a reasonable sexual life to stay with her because of your son?
To make sure that my son is brought up the right way with the family, because you see people out there without the family.
Without a family.
But the thing is...
But how long is that going to last? Are you going to put up with this for 30 years, 40 years, 50 years, that you're going to stay with her just because your son is around?
Well, the thing is, when we fight and she says, just leave, leave, I'm getting to a point where I am going to leave,
but she keeps using him against me and uses the sex that I care about myself and nothing about myself and all that. That's not true.
Granted, I'm not perfect and I'll be the first one to admit it, but who is? I mean, you can sit there and fight and have sex and life goes.
But to turn around and sit there...
I mean, what's the truth?
I don't want to have sex with you because you're not romantic, you don't try, we always end up arguing, and if Cody's the reason we stay together, Brand, that's pathetic.
No, that's not true.
Because let's talk about family, okay? Who has her family and who doesn't?
Michael, Michael.
That's right.
Coming up, he sleeps on the couch to make sure his wife doesn't try to have sex with him.
Also, this woman put up with a sexless marriage for six years only to find out her husband wanted something she couldn't give him.
We'll find out what that was next.
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Do you think you'll ever get married?
You know somebody?
Homer plays matchmaker for Marge's sister and the hunt for a husband is on.
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Restill my foolish heart.
Here we go, boy meets beast.
Or is it mission impossible?
Well, I'm in, Homer, and I'm not a picky man.
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I think marriage can last neither if they're not having sex, if that's what both partners want.
I don't think sexless marriages can work because I think sex is a part of the marriage.
However, I'm not going to go so far as to say that I think it is an integral or the most important part of the marriage.
Welcome back.
And if you've just tuned in, we're talking about sexless relationships,
couples who simply don't have enough sex or have no sex in their relationships.
Debbie says she lived in a sexless marriage for six years until last month
when her husband told her he was gay.
She's devastated and wondering if she wasted the past years trying to save her marriage.
Michael Watson only has sex with his wife about once a year.
He says he's afraid of sleeping with her because every time he does, she gets pregnant.
In fact, she gave birth to their fourth child just five days ago,
which is why Michael's wife is not with us now.
Michael, once a year you have sex. Is that enough for you?
Yeah.
Really?
I don't think sex is all there is to a marriage.
Yeah? But do you want to have sex more than once a year? I'm a little nonplussed here.
Well, it's not just one time. I mean, we have sex more than once.
It's not all the time, though.
How often do you have sex, Michael?
Once, twice, maybe three times a year.
And do you want it more than that?
I guess. I mean, it's more hard.
Michael, jump in here a minute. I'm missing something.
Is it possible for someone like Michael to say, you know,
I only need it once, twice, three times a year and still be happy? Is that possible?
Absolutely. I mean, if he says that and his wife says that, why try to talk him into something else?
Why does it seem so strange to me?
I think you're having more trouble with it than he is.
Probably.
I probably am.
In a sense, he's going, this is fine with me.
And also, I probably would like to get in here and say, well, how does he define sex?
They might be doing a lot of cuddling, a lot of kissing, a lot of hugging,
which really, in a sense, takes care of a lot of those so-called sexual needs.
Sex is not just doing it. It's not just intercourse.
So maybe he really is getting his needs satisfied. I really don't know.
So if I talk to him, I talk to his wife, and they said, we're fine.
I can agree with them. I don't have to talk them into buying a tractor
if they just say they want to come in and get a screwdriver, to coin a term.
There's a joke there, but I'm not going to use it. I don't know where it is.
Michael, now you said that you're afraid that every time you have sex,
your wife gets pregnant, and that's one of the reasons why you don't have sex that often?
That, and it's just old.
Sex is old?
Yeah, I mean, it's just like if you buy a shirt, you get tired of it.
Yep.
Am I the only one that thinks this is weird? I'm sorry, but do you find this a little strange, too?
Dr. Michael says it's okay.
Well, I find it all strange, but I think if you all experienced awesome sex,
you might like it a lot more. But for the first couple, I think that maybe if you guys
changed your appearances a little, made each other more attracted to each other,
I mean, that might help.
Well, you know what? Stacey does experience awesome sex.
That would help to increase the sexual desire.
No, no, Stacey has told our producers that the once a month she has with her husband
or with her boyfriend is terrific, isn't it, Stacey?
Yeah, I mean, okay, when we do, it's wonderful. It's just it takes a lot to work up to that.
It's not like before, because when he met me, we way a long time, he used to be totally romantic.
He used to really caress me, he used to care. Now it's just like he expects me to just,
let's go, boom, bam, let's do it.
No, no, no, see that's not the thing.
Spontaneous is one of the things.
It's great when we do, but it takes a lot of working up to it.
Before we even get to it, I should turn rubber back.
Debbie, what was your sex life like before all of this happened?
Before all this happened, when we got together, it was fine. It was normal. It was passionate.
As the years went on and I had my daughter, things disintegrated.
It got less and less and less until it was absolutely no sex at all.
And we loved each other and we had a family and two cats and two cars and a house.
And I didn't want to press it with him. I didn't want to demand anything.
How long did this go on, no sex at all?
Six years. For the last six years, nothing.
And Debbie, you didn't press it with him?
No, because...
You didn't like poke him a couple times and go, hey buddy, something's wrong here?
I knew something was wrong with it. I knew something was wrong, but I knew that if I pushed it,
I just thought that it would lead to a breakup and I loved him and I knew he loved me.
And I was afraid of the confrontation that would lead to the breakup.
For me, 85% of a marriage being good and a life being good wasn't worth giving up everything
just so I could have a terrific sex life.
You really thought that asking your husband after six years of having no sex,
hey, what's going on here, might have caused a rift so the marriage would break up?
Well, I knew that he didn't feel very attracted to me sexually.
He had already said that, but I didn't know why. He just said, well, love is love, sex is sex,
love is love, we love each other, and sex is just sex.
So how did you discover that he was gay?
Well, he had an affair and he broke down and finally said that he couldn't live without sex.
And I said, oh really? I said, do tell.
And he said, but it can't be with you.
Just like that?
Yeah. And he said that he was gay. And so that's that and now we're separated.
So I don't believe that two people can really agree in a sexless marriage.
I don't believe that two people can honestly say, I don't care about sex, do you?
No, I don't care about sex, we love each other. I don't agree with that.
One person like me is always compromising somehow, even if you're not vocal about it.
Was he faithful to you, by the way, during your marriage?
I think he was because the minute he stopped being faithful was the minute that he bailed out,
that he realized that he needed a different life.
I have a question for Stacey. Is your maybe not giving him any sex,
is it a way of testing his love and respect for you?
No, because he won't cheat on me, that I know. And I know he loves me.
It's just a matter of, I don't want it thrown in my face.
I would like it more compassionate, more caring, like it was.
I don't want it just, like most women, I mean, honestly, okay, there is a time and place where we lay eye,
you know, okay, yeah, that's great, let's go. But after a while, it's like, no, you know,
I want you to show me you care, I want the romance and everything else.
Do you think you can figure out a way to make that happen?
Yeah, he has figured it out.
Can you figure out how to ask him in a way that's going to get you what you want?
No, because he doesn't listen. He just thinks that...
You see, if you start with that premise, then you're not going to get what you want.
If you can be clever enough to figure out how to get what you want out of him, you're going to be happy.
Well, I've asked him, and then the time's up.
Maybe the words you're using are not working.
Michael, we've got to go to break.
All right, we've heard their stories, next it's time to find out what our jury has been thinking.
We'll be right back.
MUSIC
On the next Judge for Yourself, Chad got Terry pregnant.
He was my boyfriend, I loved him.
And then ran into Tina's arms.
I felt like if Tina wasn't in the picture, we would have been staying together.
You told me you did not love Chad and that you did not care, Terry.
Now Terry wants Chad back for the sake of their child.
We don't know if that baby's mine or not.
That baby looks just like Chad.
Pregnant and dumped, should she fight to win him back?
As the jury reaches a decision.
Judge for Yourself.
MUSIC
Driver's license please, sir.
Randy, let's go. Didn't you tell Sarah we'd pick her up at seven?
Yeah, okay. Do you realize how embarrassing this is?
Well you better get used to it. For the next two years I'm going to be driving you everywhere.
And I don't like it either.
MUSIC
Who can tell me what seven times two is?
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Very good, Brian.
Thank you for helping me.
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Hi, welcome back.
Today on Judge for Yourself, we're talking about sexless couples.
Can their relationships last?
Now, before they decide, our jury members have some questions of their own.
And, of course, our celebrity, Rhonda, has the questions to ask.
So if you would, here's the questions they asked.
So if you would?
Stacy and Brandon, I want to know, after you fight, do you all have incredible sex?
Yeah.
I think that you guys are actually addicted to the kind of relationship that you have.
I think that you like it, and I think that Stacy goes out of her way actually to make you a little jealous by having these other relationships.
Well, it's not the jealousy part.
I mean, I've trusted her, and she sits there and says, well, you're going to get mad at this and mad at that.
I left for three months to go back and visit my mom.
But I think that's part of it. I think that you all like this fighting.
It's sort of a game that you guys play. I think that's part of your relationship.
I don't like the fighting. I don't like the fighting.
I have to get to Diana and Tim.
Can you remember the last time, Diana, that you made love?
Made love?
See? The thing is, okay, this is the problem is, okay, you think of your sex as dirty.
Maybe after five kids, I don't know what's happened, but all of a sudden, sex has become a dirty word to you.
You've got a great guy, and he does have a big job.
He takes care of five kids. That is a major job.
You have a great guy.
And so I have a little thought.
Michael, who's not smiling over there at all...
Why do I feel like it's very dirty?
Wait, wait, I have the solution.
You like having sex maybe once a year.
Michael likes having sex once a year.
Have you ever thought about getting together?
Great. We're going to break up two relationships.
Thank you, Rhonda.
That's great.
How will the jury vote on the question, sexless couples, can their relationships last?
When we return, see what our jury has to say while you judge for yourself.
We'll be back.
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Sexless couples, can their relationships last?
You've heard what our audience thinks. Now let's listen and see what the jury thinks.
Okay, jury, can a sexless relationship survive?
No.
I see. I personally don't think so. I mean, I'm having sex right now with Anthony.
No, truly, my parents were married 38 years, or rather 48 years, and the success was that my mother never said no.
They just had a great life. What do you think, Kelly?
I think that they lack very much a lot of intimacy.
And I think, like you said, Darren, that they need to do something about their self-esteem with, you know,
trying to make themselves look more attractive or something.
A relationship without sex could work if both parties are completely in agreement about that.
But if they're not, they need to communicate that.
And if one of the parties isn't, they're going to have to make compromises
and understand that that's a vital part of the relationship.
She seems like she wanted more of a friend, and he...
She wants a friend.
Yeah.
And he's such a good guy. He is actually romantic. He talks about holding hands.
Those are the things that we all talk about that we want in a relationship.
And yet he's doing that, but she's really on another planet.
I think she's just asexual.
I don't know. Like a baby, she no longer has a sex drive or something.
I don't know.
Does anybody here think that she may be a lesbian?
Yes.
I thought that you might have been.
No, no.
That's what I said. No, I did...
I blinked at her and absolutely got nothing. I won't.
I don't think she is. I think that she's just really...
I have five kids. I'm not happy with the way I look. I don't want anything. I don't want any more.
Whipped cream is not going to help that couple.
Would you be happy with the way that...
They need to go to counseling.
They do need counseling.
See, she can't have a makeover yet, because that would make him come on to her.
She wants him to go away, so she makes herself look like that.
Do you think Stacey's cheating?
Yeah.
Absolutely. I do think so.
That's right on me.
Absolutely.
Do you think he's cheating?
No.
I think he's in love with her, and I don't think that she's in love with him, basically.
I want to know what the problem is with these men. Where's the chutzpah here?
These guys are wimps.
So what is it? You really think that these guys are wimps, so they should just walk bail?
I'll show her real men.
No.
You know what? I disagree.
Because both of them realize that there's children involved.
There's five children. He loves his five children, Tim.
And Brandon loves his little 18-year-old child.
They're good guys.
Would you rather be in a relationship where you're miserable?
Is a child happy when you're not happy together?
Yes. They see that. That's not right.
They're not happy. You can feel it.
You have to save these marriages because of the kids.
The one couple has to grow up.
No, you don't nurture a bad relationship regardless of a child, because the child goes up in a bad household relationship, and that doesn't help anything.
Do you think there's anything that's going to save either one of these relationships?
Yes.
What do you think?
She is content not having sex. He wants to have sex. I hate to say this, but if he sees somebody on the side, this relationship can work.
So if he has a very superficial answer to a deep problem, you don't just go out and have an affair. That's not a marriage. That's not responsive.
That doesn't solve the problem.
Yes, they go to counseling and they learn to really communicate.
She's not listening.
She was saying that she wanted to be caressed and all this.
She was giving signals.
But spontaneity is still fine too sometimes. I mean, you don't want to go through some ritual every time.
I didn't say every time.
I can agree with Stacey. I'm sure we all can hear. You don't want to be asked to have sex. I mean, you just want it to happen.
What did he say?
Look in your eyes.
It's the romance, right?
When we come back, the jury's decision. See if their decision matches yours.
And if you'd like to be a member of our jury or our studio audience and will be in the Los Angeles area, send a postcard to Judge for Yourself Tickets,
4401 Sunset Boulevard, Los Angeles, California 90027 or call 213-953-5855.