A crack ball.
Misunderstandings.
There's nothing a girl likes more than a little tickle on the tummy.
In U.N. Go.
If no one had her way, I'd be putting up a shelf every night.
It's the 25th anniversary of Threes Company, and TV Land's bringing you a nice, special episode.
Plus, a rare chance to see Man About the House, the British sitcom that inspired Threes Company.
Well, a fella moving in with two birds.
Laughter is calling for you this Friday, starting at 9 p.m. only on TV Land.
Holiday dishes, eating into threes, but only one is hot and shaky.
Made with E.S. and birds on the table, they're going fast.
Grab one quick, they're gone in a flash.
My heart to yours.
I only have one dad. He's a great guy, an active guy.
But as a result of his diabetes, he developed a wound that just wouldn't heal.
He said he could live with it, but I couldn't.
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Wouldn't it be perfect if kids were always ready to go,
and sausage would cook in under a minute and taste like fresh cooked?
Jimmy Dean Fresh Taste Fast Sausage.
Great Jimmy Dean taste in less than a minute.
Fresh taste fast, guaranteed.
Oh.
You spin me right round, baby, right round
Like a wrecking baby, right, right, round, round.
They spin, they scrub. They're the spin scrub brushes.
Working together, they scrub carpets better,
helping the Hoover SteamVac Wipeout add clean, all-leading brands,
and they can snap out for easy cleaning.
SteamVac with spin scrub, only from Hoover.
Like a wrecking baby, right, right, round.
Every day, tens of thousands of people get their start the exact same way.
They get in their new Old Swapelo,
and drive with the confidence of a five-year, 60,000-mile GM protection plan.
What a way to start the day.
Are you in the market?
Get in an Oldsmobile, backed by GM.
And for a limited time, get 0% APR financing.
Can't tell if it's a sharp pain or a dull pain.
I'm prescribing you 500 different pills.
You just keep taking them until you find one that makes you feel better.
Nice job, Sue.
I'm not really a doctor. That was a dramatization.
But surfing through hundreds of channels to find a cure for bad TV is definitely a bad idea.
Thank goodness for TV Land, featuring a wide variety of the best shows of all time,
so there's no need to surf.
TV Land for TV satisfaction.
The New York Times, Newsweek, Rolling Stone, USA Today, Ebert and Roper,
and critics around the country, are hailing We Were Soldiers.
Mel Gibson.
We Were Soldiers.
Rated R. Now playing.
Music.
I'mes. Good for today, good for tomorrow, good for life.
Pepperidge Farm Milano Cookies. Rich chocolate, exquisite cookies.
Sharing is overrated. Pepperidge Farm. Never have an ordinary day.
Being cam?
Being camera.
Rockstars wear it and you get to see what it's like to be them. It's total reality.
That's a little too real.
Ultimate albums are the ones you run into a burning building to save.
You know, just go buy another one. I'll use it in a sentence. You're about to be Buzzcock.
Hey. That felt pretty good.
Say that three times fast.
Well, whoever he is, he must be famous. I just haven't heard of him yet.
What does it all mean?
New shows on VH1.
I get it.
Around here, we sure do like our salad, and the people who make craft dressings figure that some of those new tastes we've all discovered would make really good dressings.
Like creamy Parmesan Romano. It's their special collection.
There are a bunch of them, and they're all craft.
Just because we've grown up on Catalina doesn't mean we don't like a good balsamic vinaigrette when we taste it.
Can you pass the bread, please?
I guess they just know what we like.
Around here, the dressing is craft.
Can you read this?
When my guys want cookies...
It's moving.
Hey, guys. There's something better.
I have a little secret surprise. These pills very ready to bake cookies. They couldn't be any easier. I just place them and bake them.
Look what I've got. But you know what the best part is?
The boys get warm, gooey cookies, and as for me, well, I have more time to hang out with my guys.
Pills, berries, my hard to eat.
Did you ever have to make up your mind?
To pick up a woman and leave the other behind.
It's not all that easy, and not often kind.
Did you ever have to make up your mind?
Are you near a phone? Can you take down a number?
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A special announcement from the American Property Network.
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Endless skies. Open country. TV Land goes west.
Welcome to TV Land's Trophy Days.
Cloris Leechman won two Emmys portraying the high-strung landlord, Phyllis Lindstrom, on Mary Tyler Moore.
I've always been a pioneer.
But she also won an Academy Award.
Can you name the movie?
Hey, I have an idea.
It was 1971, the last picture show.
The award, Best Supporting Actress.
Honey, how much money did the contractor say he needed?
$7,500.
Hmm.
What if getting money from your home equity was this painless?
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You know how they say you are what you eat?
Well, then, you've got to wonder, what are they eating in New Orleans?
Jazz it up with Zadarand.
Zadarand!
Yeah.
Even people who seem alike can have different nutritional needs.
So there are different kinds of Insure to help meet those needs.
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Nothing takes the fun out of a day home sick like a sore, runny nose.
Thank goodness.
Kleenex tissues.
Kleenex lotion tissue is soothing to your sore nose
so you can fully recover from a sore nose.
Cleaning to your sore nose so you can fully enjoy your day of misery.
The New York Times, Newsweek, Rolling Stone, USA Today, Ebert and Roper,
and critics around the country are hailing We Were Soldiers.
Mel Gibson, We Were Soldiers, rated R, now playing.
Are you near a phone?
Can you take down a number?
Then call to find out about term life insurance at competitive rates
from a respected insurer, Protective Life Insurance Company.
A 35-year-old could get a $200,000 policy for less than $14 a month.
A 40-year-old could get a quarter of a million dollar policy
for less than $18 a month.
For your free quote, call now.
Matrix Direct, 1-800-390-3019.
A special announcement from the American Property Network.
You can buy cars for as low as $29 per month.
Choose from thousands of cars repossessed and seized by the U.S. Marshal, IRS, FBI, and private organizations.
Call 1-800-448-36.
For closed homes and distressed properties are selling for as low as $199 per month.
Call 1-800-400-4836.
For current auction listings, call 1-800-448-36.
Call toll free.
You're watching TV Land Goes West.
Stay tuned.
You flip, but they flop.
Now your pancakes are a mess.
And all that butter and fat to cook them, there's got to be a better way.
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Oh no, you broke the yoke again.
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What happened?
I had trouble finding the coffee.
General Foods International Coffees.
Olay Complete Body Wash leaves you with no failure, no residue, just soft, smooth skin.
It's an ideal combination of soap-free cleansers and aerated moisture that rinses clean,
so nothing comes between your skin and your world but the lightly moisturized feeling of clean.
Olay Body Wash, love the skin you're in.
And for extra dry skin, now there's new Olay Complete Dry Skin formula.
Boy, you sure love Campbell's Tomato Soup.
Runs in the family.
You always knew Campbell's was good.
My father ate Campbell's tomato for 70 years.
Diets rich in tomato products are associated with the reduced risk of certain types of cancer,
and all of these Campbell's soups are full of tomato goodness.
So, whatever became of your father?
Oh, he's up there somewhere.
Campbell's.
Mm-mm, good.
Even when your skin gets the moisture it needs, fine lines and wrinkles can creep up on you.
Introducing Lubriderm Skin Renewal.
It works two ways.
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Later, Gator.
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What is unforgettable beauty?
It's part confidence, style, and, of course, beautiful skin.
Revlon's age-defying, all-day lifting foundation leaves skin smoother while reducing lines by 30%.
Be yourself. Be unforgettable.
The NBA season is in full swing, and as each team makes a run for the playoffs,
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Bridget Jones, Swamp and Sex Goddess.
Mom!
Stars brings you the Star Super PAC Free Preview, held over a second weekend on DirecTV.
Twelve different channels for $12 or less.
It's the best movie value on DirecTV, and you can tune in for free during the Star Super PAC Free Preview on channels 520 through 533.
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Call 1-800-391-4DTV now to order the Star Super PAC and receive two free DiGiorno's Rising Cross pizzas.