It's a daily grind dealing with the dregs, the bitter, the sour.
Something funky's always brewing at the 12th precinct.
Nick Yamana's coffee.
It's a crime.
I would hesitate to call our coffee a crime.
A shame, maybe.
Oh, that's a crime.
New York's finest drink the world's worst coffee on Barney Miller.
Weeknights at 8 only on TV Land.
Here you go, honey.
Like this?
Okay, let's get ready.
Right here.
That should do it.
Angel Soft, it's softer and 35% thicker than ever before.
When it needs to be Angel Soft.
Let me ask you this.
If I have to rinse my dishes, then put them in the dishwasher, take them out and pick
off the food, why do I have a dishwasher?
Electrosol can solve that problem for you because Electrosol has dual action tabs.
The effervescent blue layer that gets your dishes clean and shiny the first time.
Thank you.
Problem solved.
Electrosol.
George, set the table.
In a minute.
That violence is going to go to his head.
Baby, these spices are going to my head.
You know what that does to me.
Ew.
Hello, George.
It's a girl.
At least I get calls from girls.
I can't talk to you during dinner time.
I'll have to call you back.
It's not my girlfriend.
It is too.
Ow.
Hey, knock it off.
Sometimes it's hard for him to breathe.
I used to use an inhaler to help.
But recently my doctor switched me to a nebulizer.
His doctor said it would be better for him.
And it's covered by Medicare.
That makes life easier for us.
We found something else that makes life a lot easier.
If you use a nebulizer or inhaler to help you breathe and are covered by Medicare, Liberty
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Now we have more time for us.
If you're 65 or older, have emphysema, chronic bronchitis or asthma, and are covered by Medicare,
call this number for more information about home delivery of nebulizers and respiratory
medications from Liberty Home Pharmacy.
Who wouldn't want more time for the fun things in life?
You're watching a Fandemonium Marathon weekend right here on TV Land.
Andy, are you out of here?
Watching the Andy Griffith Show Fandemonium Marathon, we'll be back quicker than you can
say.
I'll have that triple underlocking key in 24 hours or my name ain't reliable Barney
Pike.
Dr. Scholl's next on Las Vegas.
As performers, you ever get corns?
This is why I have corns.
I tried Band-Aid.
It doesn't take the corns away.
Dr. Scholl's Ultra Slim Corn Remover can remove the corn with as few as two treatments.
Wow, two treatments.
Band-Aid branded.
He's a band.
I just can't say that.
I feel relieved.
The heat that was your hair's enemy is now its best friend, Thermosilk.
I'm going to go get some napkins.
The Whopper says any food left unattended is community property.
It's so wrong.
In the land of burgers, the flame-broiled Whopper is gay.
I can tell my stepdaughter feels like we have nothing in common.
How was your day?
Let's try it again.
I think we're kind of feeling each other out still.
Can I call you back?
We do share one thing.
My clothes.
She loves borrowing them.
But she always manages to drip something all over them.
Introducing Tidekick.
Measure out the new deep clean formula, treat your stains, toss it in to wash.
It eliminates more of your stains than any leading pretreater and regular detergent combined.
I hear from now, I'd like to think we're just really good friends.
Yanni, if I could tell you.
The brand new album of beautiful and captivating music from one of the world's most accomplished
artists.
Music can communicate such delicate and subtle emotions.
When you wonder Yanni if I could tell you, you will also receive the bonus video tribute,
both yours through this special TV offer.
If I do my job right, the listener should experience the level that I was at while I
was writing the music.
I hope that people will enjoy this new album.
I certainly enjoyed making it.
It's been a lot of fun.
Order Yanni if I could tell you and receive the bonus video tribute.
Call the number on your screen or send 1898 for the CD or cassette and video plus 595
shipping and handling to the address below.
Brush delivery available.
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Fandemonium, all the best, all for you, all weekend long.
You're okay, Hanson.
Fandemonium Marathon.
You're watching the Andy Griffith Show Fandemonium Marathon.
Next weekend, it's Barney Miller.
Fandemonium Marathon, always one thing on for weekend TV satisfaction guaranteed.
This is Unisom Sleep Gels.
It helps you sleep.
This is Tylenol PM.
It helps you sleep too.
They both have the exact same amount of the exact same sleep ingredient.
But Tylenol PM has added medicine for headaches, backaches, even fever.
Do you have a headache?
Uh-uh.
Backache?
Uh-uh.
Fever?
Uh-uh.
Unisom.
It's a safe, non-habit-forming way to fall fast asleep.
Two ways to treat your skin to a facial.
$65, please.
Olay Daily Facials.
Without making an appointment or having to wait, you can cleanse, exfoliate, clarify,
and hydrate your skin at home.
Use it every day for a month, and it's just like your skin had a facial.
Olay Daily Facials.
Proven to cleanse and exfoliate like a facial.
Would you like to lower your monthly mortgage payments or use the equity in your home to
consolidate your credit card or other debts?
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Today's low fixed rates with zero points is only 6.875 percent, APR 7.042 percent.
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It's smart money from dyetech.com.
Apply online or call us at 1-800-71-FIXED now.
Mayberry has everything you'd want in a small town.
Friendly folks, fresh baked pies, and a first-rate fishing hole.
But this sleepy little town has a secret too, and horror has a new name.
Jimmy, the dynamite-eating goat bent on destruction.
A goat full of dynamite?
What are we going to do?
Run, run for your lives.
And tune in to the Andy Griffith Show, weeknights at 10, only on TV.
Go ahead, fill him up until he bursts.
You need jet dry.
If you only use detergent, you're only doing half the job.
Plus one jet dry bottle lasts 30 loads.
Hey, look at that, huh?
No spots, no film.
Jet dry, once a month for sparkling dishes.
Who knows how long you'll live?
Who knows how you'll die?
If you have high cholesterol, will a heart attack make your life run out before it has
to?
Imagine there was a way to reduce your risk of a heart attack to help extend your life,
don't you?
Ask your doctor about Provacol.
If you're dieting and exercising and you still have high cholesterol, adding Provacol can
make a difference.
Other drugs can lower cholesterol, but only Provacol is proven to help prevent both first
and second heart attacks to help you live a longer, healthier life.
Provacol, a prescription drug, is not for everyone, including women who are pregnant
or nursing or may become pregnant or people with liver problems.
Because serious side effects can result, tell your doctor about any muscle pain or weakness
you experience while on Provacol and about any medications you are taking.
He may do blood tests to check for liver problems.
Ask your doctor.
Make the Provacol today.
Provacol.
Help make the story of your life a longer one.
My doctor says I'm healthier than he is.
Tylenol, arthritis pain, extended relief, as effective as the most prescribed arthritis
pain medicine, but much gentler to your stomach.
Where I swim, I'm free.
The critics have spoken on TV Land's Fandemonium Marathon.
Oh, that's fine, fine, fine, fine.
You heard it here.
Stay tuned for more Andy Griffith Fandemonium.
Glade Candle Scents, created by nature, captured by Glade.
Here you go, honey.
Like this?
Okay, let's get ready.
Right here.
That should do it.
Angel Soft, it's softer and 35% thicker than ever before, when it needs to be Angel Soft.
The right time to talk to your kids about the birds and the bees and other tough issues
is sooner than you think.
For more information, visit EverythingNick.com.
32, 33, 34, 45, 46, 47, 50, 451, 452.
Cold symptoms keeping you awake?
What?
Get Nyquil, the nighttime sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head fever.
So you can get to sleep.
You need to feel better, Madison.
I can not live another day without air conditioning.
Says tomorrow's going to be hotter.
Hotter?
Like yesterday.
Yesterday?
Yesterday you said you'd call Sears.
I'll call today.
You call now.
I'll call now.
Now's the time to save on Sears installed central air conditioning.
Get 0% financing for one year.
That means no billing, no payments, and no interest for 12 months.
Call for a free in-home estimate.
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In time, even pay for itself.
Sears also offers fast emergency installation.
With all work done by a Trane Sears cooling specialist and satisfaction guaranteed.
Get 0% financing, no billing, no payments for one year.
Offer ends March 31st, so call and save with Sears.
So what's the paper say about tomorrow?
Another scorcher.
Cool.
Sears, a good life at a great price.
Guaranteed.
One show, 48 hours.
This is Fandemonium.
Now you know.
Smile, you got French's.
Smile, you got fun.
Nothing spreads more smiles than French's classic yellow, hearty deli, homestyle Dijon,
and our latest honey mustard.
Smile, you got French's.
And we never did fight, Paul.
Never got to it.
Not even one punch?
Not even one punch.
Fandemonium Marathon, Fandemonium Marathon.
You're watching the Andy Griffith Show, Fandemonium Marathon.
Next weekend, it's Barney Miller.
Fandemonium Marathon, always one thing on for weekend TV satisfaction guaranteed.
On November 22nd, 1963, John F. Kennedy, our 35th president, was assassinated.
By November 27th, 1963, with the country still in mourning, the half dollar coin was selected
to commemorate him.
It honors President Kennedy with his portrait on one side and a version of the presidential
seal on the reverse side.
To increase the value of this commemorative coin, the American mint has covered the coin
in 24 karat gold.
This Kennedy half dollar was designed by the chief coin designer of the United States Mint
and is now beautifully preserved in 24 karat gold.
The Kennedy half dollar pieces are very popular in the US, and in fact, in strong demand around
the world.
The value of this coin should only increase now that it is a gold collector's piece.
This beautifully detailed 24 karat gold piece comes with a numbered certificate of authenticity
that details the coin specifications.
The gold Kennedy half dollar is a valued addition to any coin collection and makes a perfect
gift for the collector of John Kennedy memorabilia.
This John F. Kennedy commemorative gold coin is a limited edition minting in honor of the
man who served a thousand days in office before his assassination.
You've seen gold coins increase in value enormously over the years.
Now you can own this gold Kennedy half dollar for only five dollars.
That's right, this 24 karat gold plated commemorative coin can be yours for just five dollars by
simply calling the number on your screen now.
This offer will be available for a limited time only, so don't miss this rare opportunity
to own a gold collector's coin.
Order now and you'll receive your President John F. Kennedy 24 karat gold plated commemorative
coin for five dollars.
Call the number on your screen now to order your John F. Kennedy commemorative 24 karat
gold coin for only five dollars.
And because this limited edition collector's piece is issued to honor the memory of President
Kennedy, only five coins will be available per call.
This is a special TV offer.
Order now.
To order the John F. Kennedy 24 karat gold coin for just five dollars, have your credit
card ready and call 1-800-739-8833.
That's 1-800-739-8833 or send check or money order for five dollars plus a dollar ninety
five shipping and handling to the address on your screen.
Call now 1-800-739-8833.