My maiden name.
What?
But people don't know how to pronounce it.
Come on, can you say it three times fast?
It's Hughley.
Kids, come on, help me out.
Hughley, we heard you.
It's Hughley, Hughley.
What was your maiden name again?
The Hughleys, premiering Tuesday, September 22nd.
Next, summer's over, and you know what that means.
Not back to school.
Join Ernest for reading.
All my other hand.
Writing.
And math class.
He doesn't stand a chance.
Jim Varney in an end of summer premiere.
Ernest goes to school.
Hello, I'm Michael Eisner.
Welcome to the wonderful world of Disney.
I'm here in the research and development lab of a place which only exists at Disney.
We call it Imagineering.
The artists and inventors who work here combine vivid imagination with technological wizardry.
They can make it snow in Florida.
They've invented rides that drop faster than gravity.
Robots, so lifelike.
Sometimes I think they intend to replace us with them.
Their ideas have made fantasies reality.
For Imagineers, it's just all in a day's work.
Hey, what's going on?
Wait a minute.
Wait, don't leave.
Tonight's presentation brought to you by Tide.
If it's got to be clean, it's got to be Tide.
And Mitsubishi Motors, the all new 1999 Galant.
Take up and drive.
The all new Mitsubishi Galant.
All new styling, nicely equipped at $17.99.
Zach was a freshman in high school when Roy was born.
Surprise.
I was very nervous about the difference in their ages, but he always treats Roy as if he's an equal.
Should we order pizza?
Roy adores the shirt that Zach gave him.
Roy lives in that shirt, so it gets washed a lot.
I just want to keep it looking great.
For clothes that get worn a lot, there's Tide.
Regular detergents can leave clothes looking old, but Tide helps keep cotton clothes looking newer longer.
Roy feels so close to his brother.
They're inseparable.
Now take in the outdoors.
Fresh.
Cool.
Clean.
Introducing Mountain Spring Tide with Bleach.
It leaves behind a fresh outdoor scent.
It's got to be Tide.
We have the how-to clinics where we show the customer how to do the project themselves.
If you're doing it by hand, the customers are encouraged to come up to the front and actually start grouting the tile or spackling the drywall.
It's excellent.
And I think it's encouraging people to do things they thought might be too hard.
They get involved. They get pumped. They take notes.
We even have kids' workshops where kids learn to build just like their parents.
You want to learn it, and you're going to teach them.
And to have people go home and do that and come back and say,
boy, that was a lot easier than you even made it seem, that's where the satisfaction is.
The new Domino's Heat Wave Bag works like a portable oven to keep your pizza hot and fresh all the way to your door.
Call right now for any large Domino's pizza with up to three tasty toppings for only $9.99.
Domino's, delivering a million smiles a day.
They got a show for girls like me.
Two of a kind on ABC.
I'm gonna jump.
I'm gonna shout.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mary-Kate and Ashley Elsinore back on TGIF.
Two of a Kind, premiering Friday, September 25th on ABC.
The wonderful world of Disney will continue in a moment, here on ABC.
Create your own legend.
We invite you as humans.
Control Daniel.
Reality check.
The iguana's rented.
The clothes are Hillard and Hanson from Mervins.
The jacket's under 40 bucks.
The turtleneck's under 20.
And this guy is the caterer.
Mervins, California.
What style should really cost?
When you're eating out, trying something new can be scary.
Because you're stuck with it.
But at Hometown Buffet, I have no fear.
Look at me.
I'm trying this new roasted chicken.
Am I crazy?
No.
Because I know I can also get pizza or spaghetti or roast beef or ham.
Whatever I want.
I am the boss of my plate.
Want something new?
Try Hometown Buffet.
Don't be chicken.
Try this chicken.
Occasionally, time flies even faster than usual.
Like during the Dodge Summer Clearance.
Where for a limited time, Dodge Neon comes with $1,500 cash back.
Reducing your price to under $10.7 on this fun-to-drive car.
Or instead of cash back, select exceptionally low 1.9 financing.
Which also can save you money.
But whichever Neon offer you choose, please hurry.
While time is still on your side.
See the friendly Dodge dealer near you.
Laura Ashley, the official meteorologist of the California State Fair.
We now return to the wonderful world of Disney.
It can put some people in a trance.
And when the wind's just right, it can bring others back to life.
It can draw strangers a little closer.
And make time stand still.
It can make men tender and loving.
And even tame the most savage beast.
How is this possible?
Be. It's what you want.
How you doing, Sarge?
Okay, folks, what'll it be?
What would you like, sweetheart?
A Pepsi, please.
Sorry, we only have Coke.
Nah, you've done it.
You're sorry?
Not half as sorry as you're gonna be.
I ordered a Pepsi, pal.
She's got a mind of her own.
What's with this guy?
Look, I just thought...
You thought?
What you really thought was that I don't know the difference between Pepsi and a Coke, right?
Here's your Pepsi.
Thank you.
Mmm.
Kids say the darnedest things.
What are you looking at?
I like this place.
Pat and Betty at the Reynolds Kitchens.
Until now, the most important equipment needed for cooking on the grill was a pair of running shoes.
I forgot the chicken.
Where's the corn?
The peppers.
The chicken's burning!
Introducing new Reynolds Hot Bags, extra heavy-duty foil bags.
Just put your entire meal in the bag.
Close and cook.
With Reynolds Hot Bags, the only piece of equipment you need is...
Lounge chairs!
New Reynolds Hot Bags make good food better.
I'm too relaxed to clean up.
I'll clean up.
How do you get healthy hair like this?
Hair with this sheen and body?
Feed your dog pet or pet a dog?
Feed your dog Pettigree.
With new Champion Skin and Coat System in every cannon bag.
Pettigree.
Develop with Vets.
Recommended by top breeders.
Sometimes they have important meetings over two scoops of vanilla.
Some days he's full of questions and she always seems to know.
Sometimes she tells her secrets if she promises not to tell.
Some days he's content to simply listen to them grow.
These are a few of thousands of wonderful people who have three things in common.
They all work at Walmart.
They are all terrific grandparents.
And they all make us very proud.
If you were a little kangaroo, you'd be called a Joey.
If you were a kangaroo, you'd be marsupial.
You know, daddy kangaroos really love little Debbie Nutty Barks.
And you know that this little Joey ate the last one.
CSPN Sunday Night Football, ladies and gents, with the Raiders and the Jeeps.
He's not a pirate, you stoop.
He's a Raider.
He's a bloodthirsty pirate.
A swashbuckler.
He's ready for battle.
Yeah, but he's wearing an eye patch.
He can't even see straight.
He's got a knife in his mouth.
He's fearsome.
The knife isn't in his mouth.
It's through his helmet.
Another good point.
Is everyone against me?
CSPN Sunday Night Football, the Raiders against the Jeeps.
Covered begins at 5 15.
Hi, KB.
Who are your friends?
Uh, my dog Donut.
My buddy Marty.
Oh, yeah.
There's Kelly.
She's okay.
We're not your friends.
Well, there's these two guys at school, Jeff and Jeff.
Jeff does drugs and he tries to get us to do it, too.
Hey, guys, wanna have some fun?
Oh, thanks, man.
Yeah, get a life, guys.
Whoo-hoo!
Wonderful!
Yeah.
You're wonderful.
Yeah.
Wonderful.
Did I tell you you're wonderful?
Breakthrough to the new world of Mach 3 from Gillette, the first triple blade shaving system.
Three blades specially positioned to shave progressively closer.
You take one stroke, it takes three.
So you don't have to shave the same area over and over, which means less irritation.
Three blades, fewer strokes, less irritation.
Mach 3 from Gillette.
I don't want to set the world on fire.
I just want a star with a flame in your heart.
In my heart I have but one beside you.
And that one is you.
No other will do.
You can do what you want.
It's ESPN Sunday Night Football, ladies and gents, with the Raiders and the G's.
He's not a pirate, you stoop.
He's a raider.
He's a bloodthirsty pirate, a swashbuckler.
He's ready for battle.
Yeah, but he's wearing an eyepatch.
You can't even see straight.
He's got a knife in his mouth. He's fearsome.
The knife isn't in his mouth. It's through his helmet.
Another good point.
Is everyone against me?
ESPN Sunday Night Football, the Raiders against the G.
Covered begins at 5.15.
This is Ragoo's new Super Garlic Sauce.
When you serve it to your family, you'll ask,
So, what do you think of Ragoo's new Super Garlic Sauce?
Someone, I don't know who, will say it's super.
And that's how it got its name.
Sort of.
Say hello to Very Berry, the new Quaker Fruit and Oatmeal cereal bar.
The only bar with the flavor of four berries in every bite.
Just try to find a better bar.
Wop-bop-a-mop-a-lop-a-moo.
Ah!
Why are we quoting high-level sources inside the Swiss Olympic Committee
on Helsinki's bid for the 2010 Olympics?
What's the problem?
Helsinki's in Finland.
Get to know Casey, Dan, Isaac, Natalie, Dana, and Jeremy.
I thought it was in Sweden.
Sweden or Switzerland?
Finland.
Sports Night premieres Tuesday, September 22nd.
Is Helsinki in Finland?
Yes, you unbelievable idiots.