There's a small world, not in my experience. On September 25th, we've made a good plan.
Keep your eyes open. Get out of here. Walk away. Because nothing is what it seems.
Get the background. Are the guys protecting the principal? Oh, they're good.
No one can be trusted. R comes through here. Shooters across from each other, kill
each other dead. Oh my, where'd you learn that? And make sure he's on your side.
Robert De Niro. I won't hurt you.
Ronin, rated R, starts Friday, September 25th.
Bobby. What do you want? We've got to talk. These kids are mixed up with Donal
Wright from Rock. They're my friends. People who don't dial 1-800-Collect are
nobody's friends. 1-800-Collect is ten cents a minute every evening. Really? This
isn't a game, kid. You could be saving your parents money. Bobby, you with us or him?
You made the right choice, son. 1-800-Collect, ten cents a minute every...
Now, at Hollywood Video, rent Titanic for five days.
Did he say five days? Winner of 11 Academy Awards. Yours to treasure. Yours to own. Now, take the
voyage home on videocassette. Titanic.
You can stop applauding now.
Rent Titanic for five days at Hollywood Video.
How come you never see any Asian guys on TV dance shows? I mean, you got Asian women, you got white guys, you got Latino guys, African-American guys, but there are no Asian guys.
Asian guys like to dance, too, you know? I mean, I'm an Asian man, and I like to dance.
Feel my groove. Come on. Pump it up, y'all.
Ellen Goulding has a demanding job. A brilliant father and
an unusual mother. There's no place like home. Thank God. Now, the one person she took for granted
can't be ignored. She's going to need help during the day. I'm home for a while. Not the planners made to me. No, I want to stay.
From the bestselling novel by Anna Quintlin. I can do it. Dad, I can handle this.
One true thing. Rated R. Starts Friday at theaters everywhere.
When you give a solitaire, you say more. And you say it with more brilliance, more depth, more fire.
The diamond solitaire. A diamond is forever. To be yours.
After five years in late night, Conan's coming to prime time. Conan's in prime time. He's got a special.
See all his big hits and super-strong guests. For me to poop on. The president confess.
Put on your best dress. It's five years of madness. Conan's prime time special on NBC.
When you do a show like mine, there are no barriers. No walls, no boundaries.
Every experience becomes a part of who you are. The people. The emotions.
They all leave their imprint. Not just on you. But inside of you.
Get your eyes. Got you where I want you. And get in sync.
It's there in my heart when I'm with you. Take the ride to tower.
Ordinarily, a Saturn owner reporting over 100,000 miles on his car just isn't that uncommon.
But in the first year, that sort of caught our attention. So we decided to keep track of him.
He came in for oil changes and tune-ups, but nothing major until he hit the 300,000 mile mark.
Mr. Bingham, looks like we got a problem here.
Looks good. Gotta admit, for a car seat, 300,000's a pretty good run.
Some vacations are just more fun than others. So what are you waiting for? Carnival.
Ponder this. What makes Chili's awesome blossom so awesome?
It is chopped, battered, and the rest is top secret because only Chili's has mastered the art of the onion.
So I get this mail from Progressive saying they have a smart new way to shop for auto insurance.
Progressive, can I help you?
They give you their rates plus the rates of several other companies.
I wonder whose rates are going to be lowest.
It looks like you could save over $200 if you went with it.
What? You're an insurance company?
A lot of times we're the lowest. Sometimes we're not.
That's not what I expected from an insurance company. And then he said, maybe you should.
Call 1-800-AUTO-PRO or your authorized independent agent.
Progressive. Reinventing auto insurance.
What do you call hamburgers that are grilled one at a time by a person? Absolutely delicious.
Chili's Big Mouth Burgers. Monuments of inefficiency.
They come from different cultures.
Ah, bitch boy.
Don't you ever touch a black man's radio, boy.
They're played by different rules.
FBI, I need this motorcycle. Get out.
But on a case this big.
Mama!
We're gonna get your daughter back safe and sound.
They speak the same language.
We can hang in my crib. I will show you my hood.
What the hell did you just say?
Jackie Chan.
Wow!
Chris Tucker.
Rush Hour.
Which one of y'all kicking?
Ready at PG-13. Starts Friday, September 18th.
Toaster's are guaranteed for about a year. Refrigerators, about five.
A Moen faucet, however, is guaranteed for life. Moen. Buy it for looks. Buy it for life.
I actually have more of a question than a saying something.
My ten-year high school reunion's coming up, and I was wondering if there's anybody out there, any girls or pretty women out there that might want to go with me to my reunion as my date.
I'll buy you a dress or shoes, scarf, whatever. All you have to do is come with me and smile and nod. Please send me an email at scottanyc.com. Please.
Are you in trouble and in need of my help? No, no, no, no, no. I'm coming over there.
On October 9th, meet God's gift.
What are you tasting there?
There's a peach. Mostly my... Looks! It's a joke!
...Turbo tea.
Home shopping. New Insta-Tuck facial toner. This looks a lot like a battery.
Don't do that!
Eddie Murphy. Mayday, mayday.
Can I see the remote control unit? Don't hand your life over to him.
Surprise!
Holy man. Let her go, man, let her go.
Rating PG. Starts Friday, October 9th.
In a word, Kenmore. America's number one appliance brand.
It's always amazing and it's all on real TV. You don't want to put that camera too close because then it'll crack and won't any part of it. Say bye-bye then.
Yeah, but I got a bad leg.
It's more like a bad excuse.
I can't see as well as I did when I was a kid.
This drunk won't have any problem seeing the jail door slam shut. Plus, what kind of hot tune is this guy playing? And how come these scorpions aren't biting?
It's all amazing and it's all on real TV.
Monday at 7.30 on Channel 3.
Don't forget about 29th and Hamburgers on Wednesdays and 39th and Cheeseburgers on Sundays.
Next week is coming with all the cliffhanger answers. When we left Friends, Rachel heard the London wedding shocker.
I, Ross.
Take thee, Emily.
Take thee, Rachel.
Could have been worse. He could have shot her.
In one week, find out how it ends.
He said Rachel, right? Did you say I should go up there?
And will Monica and Chandler get back under the sheets?
How could we have let this happen?
Seven times.
All your cliffhanger questions answered, NBC, one week from Thursday.
Have you seen what's steaming up your afternoons? Days of our lives. Weekdays at 3.30 on Channel 3.
Time for a visit with Nathan Lane, regular guy.
Help you?
Yes, I'd like to have this garment cleaned, please.
Actually, I've never dealt personally with a dry cleaner before, so I feel I should tell you it is very special.
It's an opricate that I wore into Flatermaus.
Flatermaus? That's German for the bat.
The bat. Not important.
Unfortunately, the last time I wore it, it took a real beating.
The soprano weighed about 300 pounds. The woman had her own climate.
And she used to grab me vigorously around the neck during our love duet. She said she was acting.
Acting? That would have been a first. At any rate, in her exuberance, she tore off two 18th century Austrian military buttons.
I don't suppose you'd have anything of that sort hanging around in the collection?
Thursday after five.
Thank you. Sorry to have burdened you.
From the producers of Frasier, Nathan Lane stars in Encore Encore, NBC Tuesdays this fall.
Stanislaus County, we've got you covered.
So...
Landing soon in perfect fashion.
Ladies and gentlemen, please fashion your seatbelts.
Magic? Fashion's in the air at Old Navy.
First class fashion.
Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof!
For me, it's Paris, Milan, and Old Navy.
Shop there often?
Darling, it's the fashion dynasty.
Get back in place. What if I don't like my place?
On October 2nd, we got us a troublemaker. See the world. Buckle up, Spanky.
From a whole new perspective. You want to watch that aggressive behavior.
Oh, yes.
We're supposed to be social insects.
Some vacations are just more fun than others.
So what are you waiting for? Carnival.
Now share a moment with friends.
Joey's tailor took advantage of me.
What?
Ran his hand up my leg and then there was definite...
cupping.
That's what I'm talking about.
That's how they do pants.
First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear.
Isn't that how a tailor measures pants?
Yes, it is. In prison?
You gotta have friends. Weeknights, this fall on The Cube.
When you buy disposable and over-packaged products for your home, you're really saying,
I'm fine with depleting natural resources, pollute our air and water, energy wasted.
People tell you, hey, go for less packaging, check out reusables, buy stuff in bulk.
Well, you tell them, no thanks. I'd rather throw it all away.
Buy smart, waste less, save more.
I talk to my mom every Sunday.
Nothing big, just to stay close, tell her what the kids are up to.
And that's why I signed up for MCI 5 Cent Sundays.
It's just 5 cents a minute, so we can talk for half an hour for just $1.50.
That same call was $4.50 with AT&T.
We save more with MCI, and best of all...
Hi, Grandma.
We all get to talk more.
Call 1-800-SUNDAYS to become an MCI customer.
Large cheese? Somebody order a pizza?
What can I say? It's college, so it's not like I have a ton of time or money to shop for a car.
But I heard some pretty good things about Saturn's website.
I could actually pick out a car, play around with options, figure out monthly payments.
And Brian, my sales consultant, treated me great.
Considering the first time we met was when he stopped by with my coupe.
I am here with the Saturn.
Somebody order a Saturn?
For me, Titanic was a challenge. I'm Tina Roach. I did the makeup.
The elements, the costumes...
Sometimes foundation can end up everywhere.
Max Factor Lasting Performance is virtually touch-proof.
You can change your clothes, kiss somebody.
You can touch your face without having to touch up your makeup.
I wish I'd headed on Titanic.
Lasting Performance from Max Factor.
Get James Cameron's Titanic, the collectible companion book to the blockbuster film, free when you buy Titanic on videocassette, now on sale, and $10 of Max Factor products.
Hey, kids, that's what's up on the Mighty Q.
This week, they start at 2. A whole lot of tunes in the afternoons.
Q, I can do, I, Q, I can do. No need to glimpses.
So special, you want to just grab the remote and turn it on.
Bugs, Duffy, Jeff Blunt, Pinky and the Brain, and the Animaniacs.
Men in black and superheroes too. It's the afternoon tunes.
And it's on the Mighty Q. That's Q58, 2 to 5.
Every week, then, Monday through Friday.
Say Q58, 2 to 5, Q58, 2 to 5, Q58.
That's some mess.
But cleaning it up is a breeze.
With the lightweight, innovative Dirt Devil Vision Vacuum.
Available now through this exclusive TV offer.
The Vision has a powerful 12-amp motor.
The maximum you can buy.
One look at the Vision and its difference is clear.
No messy bags.
No need to search for or struggle with changing them ever again.
It's power you can see.
The Vision even picks up more dirt than the best-selling Clean Air Upright.
The Vision is also the world's most maneuverable upright,
thanks to its lightweight and swivel-glide casters.
It's easy to push and turn on even the deepest pile carpet.
The Dirt Devil Vision features a patented three-stage filtration system,
including a HEPA cartridge that filters out even microscopic particles,
like pollen, fine dust and pet dander.
Plus a full set of onboard attachments and the exclusive 16-foot hide-a-hose
put everything within your reach.
When you're ready, the Dirt Container is easy to remove,
easy to empty, easy to put back.
And the exclusive motor guard system protects the fan and motor from larger items
that might get picked up along the way.
So for power you can see from a brand you trust,
get the bagless Dirt Devil Vision.
More proof that nothing escapes the power of a Dirt Devil.
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Get the amazing Dirt Devil Vision with power you can see.
The Vision comes with a 30-day free and home trial and a two-year warranty from Dirt Devil.
Order the Vision with your credit card for five easy payments of $39.99.
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That's 1-800-575-5959.