I'm afraid they'll take a gentle, guileless guy like the...
Well, I didn't hurt the first guy, right?
Listen, I want to know which one of you dames...
See?
We were up kind of late last night, Coach, watching...
Mothra versus Godzilla?
Well, I was really disappointed.
Now, the word the coach is trying to remember is gorilla.
Can beat up on a giant...
What do you call it?
A Gila.
Boy, was I disappointed.
I mean, nobody can make me believe that a giant moth can beat up on a Gila monster.
Boy, was that a disappointing one.
Nobody can believe me... Oh, ****!
Can you guess who?
And these two babies grew up to share something in common with that first baby.
Now, do you think they grew up to be...
A. The stars of Ghostbusters
B. The cast of Happy Days
or C. The Three Stooges.
We'll let you know right after this commercial.
You were right if you guessed... Uh-huh.
The cast of Happy Days.
And here they are. Henry Winkler...
Ron Howard...
And... and some Williams.
Thank you, guys, for giving us your pictures.
We'll have more baby pictures on another show.
Johnny Carson and I have shared some hilarious moments together on this tonight's show.
Even before that on a daytime series called Who Do You Trust?
This next piece of classic footage goes back to Who Do You Trust?
When our guest was the owner of a midget race car.
Oh, I'll never forget what happened on that show.
Steve, I'll tell you what we'll do.
We'll let your dad wind it up, okay?
You kind of started with a regular pull cord, huh?
Maybe I better move out of the way.
I have a strange feeling about these things.
That stops it over there? Yes.
What do you have in here now? You have a brake and gas?
Brake and gas. That's all, huh? Yes.
Uh-huh. The brake is which side?
The brake is on the left.
The brake is on the left-hand side? I see.
Just stop some starts in there.
All right.
We'll get her warmed up here.
There we go.
There we are.
Yes, sir. We're gonna take a little race here in a minute.
There we go.
Do you like to hear a few bird calls?
Yeah, now we got it.
Can I try that once, if we can ever get it started?
Can I write it?
Well, do you have a driver's license?
Yeah.
Insurance? Insurance? I got everything.
Can I get in there?
I guess we'll be all right.
I'd love to do this.
I don't know if I can get my legs in there or not.
Good luck.
What, uh... What is this here?
I think it's the only real...
Uh-huh. You don't think this is gonna work?
Maybe if I put my legs across...
over here. Yeah, huh?
Oh, oh!
Oh, my God!
Where is it?
Oh, yes.
All right.
That's the break.
All right.
That's me running to the rescue.
There was a piece of cake left over from the commercial.
I thought I'd offer some to Johnny.
Who are those two young boys?
There's an envelope to open,
which has the name of the winner inside.
It's tradition. We don't have an envelope.
Yes, we do. We do.
Right here in my pocket.
And it's tradition to say,
May I have the envelope, please?
Yes, you may.
Oh, how lovely. Surprise, surprise.
And the winner of the Golden Blooper Award is...
Dear Ed, I think you're great on TV's bloopers and practical jokes.
Who needs the guy standing next to you, Aunt Millie?
I must have picked up the wrong envelope.
I'm sorry.
Tonight's Golden Blooper Award recipient
is a cable television show
that originates from Disney World in Orlando, Florida.
It's called Epcot Magazine.
And here to accept the award this evening
is the host of that show, Michael Young.
Trio again.
Michael, this is sort of a first for us.
This is the very first time we've ever given the Blooper Award
to an entire program.
Does that dubious honor present you with any problems?
Well, you know, Dick,
I think speaking for everyone involved with our show,
I can sort of say we're pleased to get this award,
and I can sum up my feelings in one word.
Like proud, excited, thrilled?
No, help is more like it.
Ladies and gentlemen,
here are some of the Golden Blooper Award-winning moments
from the Epcot Magazine featuring Michael Young and friends.
Right.
I think that the media influence...
Now, here's Happy Days' Erin Moran
trying to give a political opinion.
Whoever is losing...
Cut. One more time.
One more time.
One, two, three, four.
Well, we've heard from everybody,
but, Erin, what's your opinion on this?
Well, I think the media influences us too much
on who's losing, so...
You're afraid to vote for that person who you want
who's in that program.
You're afraid to vote for that person who you want
who's in that position.
Sure.
One more time.
One more next time, so really do.
Well, we've heard from everybody,
but, Erin, what's your opinion?
Well, Michael, I think the media influences us too much.
Sorry.
Well, we've heard from everybody,
but, Erin, what's your opinion?
Well, Michael, I think that the media influences us too much.
You know, I mean, if someone's losing,
you're ready to go to the poll and vote,
and then you don't want to vote for that...
Yeah.
Well, we've heard from everybody,
but, Erin, what's your opinion on this?
Well, Michael, I think the media influences us too much.
Isn't there a saying,
what's good for the guest is good for the host?
Right, and then we tend not to vote for that person.
Exactly.
I think they do inflirt...
Wow.
I'm doing so well.
Hello, and welcome to Epcot Magazine,
our daily adventurer into the world of great ideas.
Today, we're in the World Showcase.
I'm Michael Young,
and my co-host is June Carter Cash,
one of country western... country western...
Is that right?
I'm Michael Young,
and my co-host is June Carter Cash,
one of country music's best singers
and one of my favorite people.
Oh, thanks.
How are you today? I'm feeling great.
Now, June, I have a question for you.
What can you find on a map?
The United Kingdom and Germany
and France and Japan,
all on the same map.
Well, how about the map of the Epcot Center's world map,
great big old map, that one, that dude.
Now, watch Melanie Charnov react when she misses her cue.
Oh, Melanie and I are...
Yeah!
Everybody has a different idea of what should be in a time capsule.
The Japanese put lotus blossom seeds in their time capsule.
I wouldn't have thought of that.
We, however, decided once to put a Chevy Nova in a car.
That's scary, though.
We're here in Future World in front of Spaceship Earth, which...
Now, here's Michael talking about the subject of stuttering.
...that's very difficult communications.
But a lady in Scotland has invented something called the Edinburgh Masker.
It helps the stutterer.
It's a strange device...
Remember, he's talking about stuttering.
...that eliminates the stutterer's voice.
He doesn't hear himself, he doesn't store stutterers.
And now, the moment we've all been waiting for.
May we please have the girl with the Golden Bloopers award?
Ladies and gentlemen, tonight's Miss Golden Blooper, Betty Vaughan.
Yeah.
That's great.
Betty Vaughan.
Yeah.
That's great.
Michael, on behalf of everyone here, we'd like to present you with the Covenant Golden Blooper Award.
Only on NBC.
Never forget it.
No.
Yes, Old Gold, made by tobacco men, not medicine men.
Smoother, milder, tastier Old Gold cigarettes.
That is a classic machine.
National High Top, the amazing long life battery.
Now, the new character in this next classic commercial is Phil Carey.
He's the star of the long running daytime drama, One Life to Live.
Now, in this commercial, Phil plays a very macho hero who doesn't have a very macho name.
Who do you think you are?
You may not believe this, but I'm the hero of the show.
Who do you think you are?
You may not believe this, but I'm Granny Goose.
I don't care if your name is Annie Oakley.
Granny Goose, that's an unusual name.
I make an unusually good potato chip.
I get you, you hoochie.
Extraordinary fresh.
That's my bag.
I'll treat you with some of my hoochie.
Incredibly tasty.
The only question is, are you grown up enough for Granny Goose?
How can I find you again?
Just remember the name.
Here's my bag.
Star Endorsement.
Hi there, wash day haters.
It's me again, Miss Laundry Room of 1939.
Here's the only thing that gets less use these days than my comb.
I use it as a door stop, but the spiders won't move.
From now on, it's nothing but permanent press clothes for me.
Of course, I still have to wash the stuff.
And you have to be careful about bleaching it.
You see, they use some chemical to give permanent press its permanent press.
And it may react with chlorine bleach.
Often makes clothes as yellow and dingy as my birth certificate.
So what do you do?
Use safe, snowy bleach.
Relax, it's safe.
Snowy bleach.
Snowy bleach whitens and brightens without discoloration.
And honey, that's the best way.
Everybody gets a little anxious around income tax time.
And sometimes we turn to an understanding relative for help and advice,
as actor Tony LoBianco did in this classic.
All right, Georgie.
First question about income tax is, how many potatoes did you make last year?
Oh.
Do you want your brother-in-law to know how much you made last year?
H&R Block will do your income tax confidentially.
Hey, Rose, do you want to know something about your kid brother?
Don't let an amateur do H&R Block's job.
One of the most beloved of all entertainers was the great Jack Benny.
Now, he was a very, very generous man in private.
But on the air and in public, he made a career out of being a cheapskate,
as in this classic commercial for a gas company.
Here he comes.
The usual, please.
Yes, sir, Mr. Benny, one gallon of new skitching.
Right.
Mr. Benny?
Yes?
We've been waiting to present you with this special award from Texaco.
Why? What did I do?
You were the first to try a gallon of new Sky Chief gasoline.
And it's sterling silver.
New Sky Chief can give you better mileage and prevent expensive repairs.
Well, what do you know?
Hey, wait a minute.
It's empty.
Here's an original beer commercial that stars a very prestigious star, or does it?
Here in the Pacific Northwest, they don't believe in taking shortcuts.
They build the biggest airplanes.
They produce only the freshest, most flavorful beer, Mountain Fresh Rainier.
They make it from an age-old recipe using the finest ingredients,
pure mountain water, and uncommon dedication.
Rainier makes beer the old-fashioned way.
Thank you.