to my flair for the dramatic.
Oh, yeah!
Ba-da-ba-ba-ba!
The Harlem Globetrotters are known for having a fun bag of tricks.
Well, check this out.
How many bags of food does it take to help feed the home?
Just one.
Watch this.
On Saturday, May 12th, the National Association of Letter Carriers
will collect food donations as part of the Stamp Out Hunger food drive.
It's easy to help.
Just leave a bag of non-perishable food items
like soup, pasta, or cereal next to your mailbox.
Your letter carrier will do the rest,
bringing your donation to a local food bank.
Come stamp out hunger.
Saturday, May 12th.
Welcome back.
Welcome back, my naughty donkeys.
Oh, oh, oh.
My first guest tonight is a hilarious comedian
and an impersonator.
He's got his own show on TBS this fall.
Take a look at this.
Hey, Jerry, I should probably tell you
I lost your hover shoes in a poker game.
But don't worry, I'll get them back.
Hey, whoop.
Ow!
Hey, George, you know your rocket car's under six feet of water?
This is terrible.
What kind of sick person would take hover shoes
as collateral in a poker game?
Somebody die of alcohol, Jerry.
Somebody win. No scruples whatsoever!
Newman.
Frank Kelly and Newt, everybody.
Welcome.
Welcome, Frank.
I watched the Seinfeld The Reunion Show,
and when I watched that, I noticed they didn't age very well.
And it looked like the lollipop guild did it.
Wait, you're representing...
I liked it.
Are you very critical in yourself about that?
I hate myself. Really?
Is that why you do impressions of other people?
No.
I thought that was...
Did you think that was gonna be it?
Yes, finally.
I don't know what it...
You're the first Scottish person I've ever heard
that doesn't sound angry.
It's almost like, what are you doing?
It's like Groundskeeper Willie, Shrek a little bit.
Everybody sounds angry.
None of these people are Scottish, Groundskeeper Willie or Shrek.
You know that.
Actually, both fictional.
Both cartoon characters.
Billy Connolly.
Definitely Scottish.
Can you do Billy Connolly?
Right.
Who are you?
Oh, that's not bad.
Do you just decide who you can do and then you do them?
Or is it just very, very...
That happens sometimes where you have to figure out a person to do...
One of my favorites I always used to do was Al Pacino
because he yells for no reason.
You just watch him, he starts screaming.
That's why I'd love to see somebody cast him as a librarian.
Just to see what he does.
Because there's no way he doesn't get through a movie without screaming,
and he's like, where is the B section?
Where is the B section?
Everybody's like, what the hell?
Here's the Dewey Despo system.
Why does he always look like he's chewing gum, too?
I'd love to go see what kind of gum you're chewing.
Humbububba.
Really?
No!
Do you ever pile...
Can you mix them together like a recipe?
You take a little bit of Al Pacino and a little bit of somebody else
and you make another one?
Does that work?
It's again an interesting idea.
Suddenly I'm Scottish!
That would be good.
If I ever do an impression, there's usually a Scottish version of that person.
I couldn't do John Madden, you could do John Madden, I can't do John Madden.
Not Scottish.
That's the problem.
I'm like, man, boom!
It's...
It's always...
That guy is the only guy I've ever seen who can eat a sentence, too.
It's like...
Hey, that predicate tastes better than the subject.
Put a little propositional phrase on there, boom!
You got a shot of sentence!
What the hell is this guy talking about, Craig?
You go between...
I just talk to myself.
I don't even need these guys here.
This is what it would be like if you were in here, I'd just be in the hotel room going,
here's a guy who talks to himself.
That's crazy!
Why'd he do that? I mean, I don't know why he'd do that.
Maybe he'll just think, hey, I'm gonna do that, and then boom!
He does it.
I think that's where that Seinfeld thing came from.
I'm confusing you now.
No, no, I just realized I don't have to be here.
It's not...
No, no, no, no.
You scared me for a second. I thought you were gonna run off.
No, no, no, no.
You threw me when you came back there.
You said, is there anything you don't want to do?
And I'm like, what are you talking about?
And he said, don't write me Scottish, and then you ran off.
Here's a guy who didn't know what to do.
Just go with the flow!
Go with the flow, that's exactly it.
Did these people...
Just pretend Pacino's here for a little bit.
Alright, okay.
Craig!
How you doing?
What's the matter with you?
You like to make the guys in the sound booth work their asses off.
Sorry.
I'm being silly.
Is Madden a fan of your impressions?
No, no.
He doesn't like me at all.
Why?
I don't know. I always thought he should've pretended like he liked it.
And that would've been good.
My manager went up to him years ago at the Super Bowl.
He's like, what do you think about this guy who does the great John Madden impression?
He's like, I don't like it.
What do you mean you don't like it?
I mean, I should've been Shrek.
He didn't say the Shrek.
That's probably why he doesn't like me.
He would've been great as Shrek.
He would've been very good as Shrek.
They got a donkey over there, sounds like Eddie Murphy, the gingerbread man right there.
I mean, the gingerbread man, that's the only guy who's made out of the same thing as his house.
I mean, you take a bite of your...
You take a bite of your house and boom, you're considered a cannibal.
Wow!
That was nuts, Craig!
That was very nuts.
We're gonna take a break.
We'll be right back with Frank Caliendo amongst us.
A rental car in Miami.
I'm on it.
I'm on it, I'm on it.
I'm on it.
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Home is full of things. Sometimes too full. Home is here. Furniture Row Outlet. Where during our spring
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and four clearance sales all in one location. Celebrate Cinco de Mayo at Fiesta Grande,
Saturday and Sunday, May 5th and 6th at Millennium Plaza in Yakima. Enjoy mariachis, dancing horses,
great food, and music. Call 453-2050 for details. You're watching KIMATV 29. It's all new and it's
news now with streaming video of daily local news stories from the KIMA News Watch team with many
new links that are informative and fun. Make KIMATV.com your home page. We're just a click away.
Kyle T, LaDania Tomlinson, another Fort Touchdown game last week. You know,
we haven't seen a scoring machine like this since uh, gotta go back to Charlie Sheen.
After seven years, Black and Decker has introduced a new version of the Dustbuster.
Supposed to be pretty powerful, Ken. It really is, yeah. I heard it has three times the sucking
power of the Raiders. That's pretty good.
Well, good-bye everybody. I'm here with Frank Calliandri. That was a lovely impression we just
showed there. Who was that? I have no idea. It's a very nice guy. He's a very nice guy.
Who was that? I have no idea. Yeah. He is the only guy in Earth that could have a bobble head.
Made him look a little bobble less than his actual head. I said that to him once. What do you think?
I don't do bad. What about the politicians? Are you looking at any of the presidential candidates?
Are you thinking anyone in there? You know, I don't work on it until uh, until they get elected.
I mean, I'm always trying to find different things. There's plenty of material with the
current president. Sure. Every day, a whole new batch arrives. Yeah. Whether he can't get through
a door, he's dancing with somebody from another country. It's my favorite thing that he's been
doing that I've noticed is he uh, he has this thing where it looks like he before he gets up
to the podium, it's like somebody just told him a really dirty joke. It's the only thing he can
think of the entire time and he gets up there and he has that little smile and he can't get rid of
it but he knows, you know, he wants to let you in on it. He knows it would be completely inappropriate.
He gets up there, he's like, hello America.
And especially those of you from Nantucket.
Guys back there know what I'm talking about, Craig. He laughs like a muppet too.
Yeah. Have you ever done the White House Correspondent there? You ever met? Yeah,
I did. I did one the last April where Vice President Cheney was sitting right next to me
and it was like, it was so surreal because I'm doing the Bush thing and I'm expecting Cheney
to be mad. I look over and he's laughing his ass off. Cheney's on the side of me like,
and he was very nice. I didn't expect it because I've seen Cheney on television but,
you know, when you're next to him it's like, it's totally different. He's like my grandpa.
We went hunting together. I wasn't back and he taught me on a whittle. We won the Pinewood Derby
but on TV he's like Darth Vader, isn't he? Yeah, he's very, very frightened. When he enters the
room, I would love if President Bush were just there going, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.
Here comes Darth Cheney. He's on the dark side.
You're not my father.
How did it go when you were out there though? You did the Bush thing. Did they take it well?
Very good. Did they invite you back?
Uh, no. No.
Okay. It's similar to the last time I was on this show.
Yeah, come on. Who's your favorite? Do you have an absolute favorite you love to do?
Uh, well, Pacino's won.
Or who was the first one you ever did?
Uh, that was, that was actually probably the letter was one of the first things that I did.
But I don't know. Robin Williams is always a fun one to me because,
so I try to take a different take on something, not the typical,
that you've seen. And for me, Robin Williams, when he's serious is just about as fun as it can get
because it's the one where he grows a beard and gets a nomination.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. That's what I like is to see Robin Williams like take it down and be like, hello.
Great to be here, Craig. It's amazing and wonderful all at the same time.
I'm not really sure where to go with this. It's not always the best one for an audience, but
am I crying? It's lovely. It's lovely. It's the Patch Adams thing. It's the Patch Adams.
I love that. So when are you starting on the show? What's the show going to be like?
Is it different little sketches or? Yeah, it's a sketch show. It's basically like,
I'm describing it. We wanted to call it Chappelle's show, but the lawyers wouldn't let us do it.
But it's kind of like Chappelle's show meets Saturday Night Live. It's basically taking
my act and I'll set up the sketches and then go into them like that. TVS is going to lead the whole
thing off with a stand-up special from me and everything. So I'm really looking forward to it.
Here's a guy who can't wait for it to happen. Been there, done that. Wow, going for voice,
I don't know what he's doing. He's not making sense. I know, Jerry, and by the way, I'm still
sorry. No. Good luck with it, Brian. Thanks for coming in. Craig Kelly and everyone else,
we'll be right back with Samantha Mantis.
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Welcome back. Welcome back, my filthy pigeons.
My next guest is a very lovely actress. She's in a new film called A Stranger's Heart, which is on Saturday on the Hallmark Channel. Take a look at this.
I used to think of the light as you. You might be in bed at night, feeling scared. I think you were looking in on me every once in a while.
I wasn't cut out for being the dad. It was her who figured I was, and your mom figured I could keep a watch over you, keep you safe.
I knew something about that line of work, she said.
You did keep me safe, Taz.
Oh, my God.
Samantha Mathis, everybody.
I'm all rusted. Welcome.
We get a little sensitive on the Hallmark Channel.
Very moving. Thank you.
It's a comedy, obviously.
Actually, it has a lot of light, gallows humor. I mean, when you're waiting for a heart transplant, and it's as dark and sort of dire as it gets, you gotta find the humor.
So we did actually instill a lot of humor in the movie.
Oh, I'm sure. Absolutely.
Yeah, I'm selling you.
No, no, no, I believe I do.
I'm so sorry about your run-in with the shrimp, by the way.
I had a run-in with a turkey.
Girl, really, turkey?
A Thanksgiving turkey.
Do you eat it any other time? Who eats turkey any other time?
I mean, I don't want to get all Oprah on this, but I don't want to. You know what I mean?
Yeah, it's usually the Thanksgiving thing.
Have you indulged in many American Thanksgivings yet?
Oh, yeah, I've been here for 13 years.
13 Thanksgivings.
Alright.
13 plates of turkey.
But you haven't had a bad run-in with a turkey yet?
Not yet, no, no, no.
It's not good.
I'm guessing that the bird run-in is much the same as the seafood run-in.
Yeah, but I managed to lose weight on Thanksgiving.
Which is actually not such a bad thing.
Oh, no, I had a big Weight Watchers weekend myself.
So it's not all bad.
It's not all bad. Classy, everybody, but not all bad.
Hey, you made a film called Jack and Sarah years ago.
You remember that film? That was directed by one of my very best friends.
Oh, was it?
Tim Sullivan, in case you've...
Oh, how is this Sullivan?
You know, he's alright.
Is he?
He's very much a tate.
Do you think that...
He's very kind of grumpy, Tim.
Indeed.
Yeah, when you're working with him.
Well, it's been a few years now.
We're talking 1991, so...
Oh, was it that long ago?
It was a few years ago.
Oh, really?
Yeah, yeah.
It can't be that long ago.
Sadly, yes.
You must have been like four in that movie.
That was an amazing experience for me because here I was, I was so young.
I was in England working on a movie with Ian McKellen, Judy Dench, Eileen Atkins, Richard...
Richard E. Grant.
Yeah.
And I'm playing the stupid American.
Yeah.
So I found myself in a corner sort of like, hi, Dame Judy, Sir Ian, I will be the stupid
American in the corner doing my little acting thing.
Yeah, well...
It worked.
It's just that Stephen Fry said this about British actors a little bit.
He thinks sometimes everybody thinks they're really good just because of the accent.
Yeah.
You know, like...
It is impressive.
Hello, I'm just going to open the door.
It's not fair, really.
Yeah, yeah.
You guys do sound more impressive with your accent.
Even when I met Tim's children, Isabelle, Izzy, right?
Yeah, Izzy.
I'm sure she's like this now.
Yeah.
She said, hello, do you want some tea?
Yeah.
And I go, oh my God, you're smarter than me.
Yeah.
And she's four at the time.
Yeah, yeah.
Would you like some tea?
Would you like to do some physics?
Yeah, it's fine.
I don't know how.
Do some physics.
Is that the last time you were over there?
No, I'm trying to remember.
The last time I was over there, I think I was doing a mini-series in Prague and I went
over in...
Prague.
Oh, that sounds very nice.
Prague.
I've never been to Prague.
Oh, that's beautiful.
Where is it?
It's quite romantic.
Is it really?
Yeah.
Maybe we should go.
All right.
I'm taking a red-eye to New York in a couple of hours.
Are you really?
We could go from there.
You mean they have red-eyes at half past one in the morning?
Oh.
Yes, they do.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's right.
It's a private red-eye.
Yeah, yeah.
You can see the airport's just out that way somewhere.
You'll be all right.
You going to New York?
Yes, I am.
Well, I'm doing a bit more press for this, for Stranger's Heart.
Right, and then you're going to Prague?
And then I'm going, actually I'm going to New Orleans for Jazz Fest this weekend.
Oh, nice.
Do you like the jazz?
I love the jazz.
I don't like jazz much.
No?
No, too many people all playing a different tune at the same time.
Driving crazy.
You know, all that.
Will you just stick to a few notes and play them again and again?
That's what I like.
They have more than jazz at Jazz Fest.
They have rock and roll, and they have blues, and they have gospel.
They have tents.
They have tents for all different kinds of music.
Really?
Yeah.
And what will you be going?
Will you be going to the gospel?
The gospel tent's pretty amazing.
And all that, you know, praise Jesus, hallelujah music.
Absolutely, it's gospel.
It's very life-affirming.
Yes, it is.
And then you've got the gospel, and then you've got the rock and roll.
What are you enjoying the rock and roll?
Well, do you know the Counting Crows?
Oh, yes.
Yeah.
They're my favorite.
Yeah.
They're actually on Friends of Mine, and they're playing on Friday.
They sang the song.
Here's the thing.
They sang the song Accidentally in Love, which is in Shrek 2.
Yes.
And Tim Sullivan, who wrote that movie Jack and Sarah that you were in, I think wrote the
script for Shrek 3.
Did he really?
Yeah.
Good for him.
Yeah, I know everything about show business.
Okay.
Apparently you do.
He might not have written this script for Shrek 3.
I might just have made that up for my own designs, but...
You're talking about the R.R.
Shrek 3 or Shrek 4, he's definitely working on something to do with Shrek.
You're, as they say, a chancer, aren't you?
I am a chancer.
Yeah, I am.
How am I doing?
Yeah, you're doing well.
I thought I was doing okay.
You're very good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm glad you're going to be there, because I can make it by the weekend, I think.
It's two and a half days.
Where are you from?
Are you from down that way?
No, no.
My best friend from junior high moved down there out of high school, so I started going
a long time ago to Jazz Fest to hear him play and other friends play.
But I was born in New York and raised in California.
And here since I was six.
Oh, that's nice.
You've got the whole bicurious thing growing up.
Bicostal.
That's what I meant.
Yeah, yeah.
You might be projecting on the bicurious.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's just a little...
I was just kind of a hopeful.
Yeah.
I am.
I'm kidding.
I'm not kidding.
I am kidding.
So you live here in LA now.
I live here.
Do you do the surfing and the...
I just started learning how to surf in the last year.
Do you like it?
I love it.
It's fantastic.
I'm not so sure.
No?
It's not for you.
Wait, now did I hear you do yoga?
Me?
Yoga?
I've done a bit of yoga, yeah, once.
I'm doing it now, actually.
Are you really?
Yeah, just a little tiny bit.
You're impressive.
Yeah, yeah.
It's very subtle.
Well, I have to after the weekend.
Well, surfing is sort of like yoga on a board.
Yeah.
It's fantastic.
Yeah, you're sort of a downward dog and then you get into warrior one.
My word for it.
Chancer.
He's a Chancer.
Yeah.
We've got to go around.
Lovely talking about you.
Pleasure.
Samantha Masters, everybody.
We'll be right back to The Noise of X.
It was not human.
Do you believe in the human being?
It was not human.
Do you believe intelligent life exists on other planets?
Why would anybody taxidermy a human head?
It's not like nothing's at stake, only the survival of the human race.
We'll begin boarding flight 217 to New York with all first class passengers.
That's first class passengers only.
Well, see you there.
Yeah.
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The Harlem Globetrotters are known for having a fun bag of tricks.
Well, check this out.
How many bags of food does it take to help feed the hog?
Just one.
Watch this.
On Saturday, May 12th, the National Association of Letter Carriers will collect food donations as part of the Stamp Out Hunger Food Drive.
It's easy to help.
Just leave a bag of non-perishable food items like soup, pasta or cereal next to your mailbox.
Your letter carrier will do the rest, bringing your donation to a local food bank.
Come stamp out hunger.
Saturday, May 12th.
Celebrate Cinco de Mayo at Fiesta Grande Saturday and Sunday, May 5th and 6th at Millennium Plaza in Yakima.
Enjoy mariachis, dancing horses, great food and music.
Call 453-2050 for details.
You're watching KIMATV 29.
It's all new and it's news.
Now with streaming video of daily local news stories from the KIMA News Watch team.
To figure out how to put the bill to replace their water system, that just can't seem to stay together.
Log on to KIMATV.com.
Get real-time news updates when you want it.
From local to regional to headline news.
With many new links that are informative and fun.
Make KIMATV.com your home page.
We're just a click away.
Welcome back.
Welcome back everybody.
My next guest has been called the best live band in Britain.
They're here performing Don't Give Up from the new CD, Watch the Time, Mr. Wolf.
Please welcome the Noizettes everybody.
Don't give up.