Aren't there things that you wish you had two of?
Like two birthdays!
You get twice as many gifts!
I mean, I love gifts, especially free ones.
Or two summers!
I mean, that's like a really long time, I mean, that's almost like forever!
Or two breaks!
You'd be twice as smart!
I mean, that's like really, really smart!
I mean, you could be a regular Einstein, but why wish when you can watch Sister Sister?
They get in twice as much trouble, but have twice as much fun!
It's two times everything, and it's five days a week!
Sister Sister, coming this fall to UPN31KMAX.
Two birthdays? Cool!
Initiating launch sequence at T-minus five seconds and counting.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
And liftoff.
Liftoff!
Jack!
Avoid food that causes nappy time.
With Subway's new Chicken Parmesan Ranch Wrap.
Tender chicken topped with peppercorn ranch dressing and a delicious tortilla wrap.
Sure to wake up your taste buds.
Subway, the way a sandwich should be.
Got my... launched.
Okay, okay, okay, listen up!
So like, someone had this idea about a TV channel for the whole family,
and they called it the Fox Family Channel!
See, it's like unconditional fun, quality time, that doesn't hurt!
No! I mean, I mean, look at all these shows!
Mr. Bill, Mr. Bean, Bad Dog, Pee Wee, the New Adams Family,
ooh, and sometimes Sluggo comes over and they like chase each other,
and they, oh no!
Ooh, ooh, the Fox Family Channel, see?
It's like family TV for the new millennium!
Fox Family Channel.
If you have cable or satellite, you get it.
Amazing Amy!
I'm Amazing Amy and I'm going to a party.
Come on!
Am I cute or what?
Amy's so amazing she knows just what she wants.
I like it when you brush my hair, Mommy.
How does she know?
I just know!
Let's take her temperature, Amy.
I feel good!
Oh!
I love you, Mommy.
Amy even knows what time it is.
It's time to get up!
Amazing Amy!
How does she know?
I just know!
Is Stockton the original Mudville?
Central California's connection to Casey at the Bat.
Yeah, all of a storm.
Introducing Storm, a whole new kind of lemon lime.
Tastes so smooth it'll blow you away.
Decent.
Oh, another.
To go?
Take your thirst by storm.
When it comes to hairspray, the competition's stiff.
The competition's sticky.
The competition can't hold up to Pantene Pro-V hairspray with the last test.
Other hairsprays are just no match for Pro-V.
Only Pro-V has the last test so it holds this well, feels this good, and bounces right back into place.
Pantene Pro-V Flexible Hold Hairspray, the only one with the last test.
The best hold, the best feel.
The best of both worlds.
No competition.
It's a scorching 98.6 degrees inside your mouth.
Yuck!
But inside a winter fresh mouth?
Tastes much, much cooler.
Winter Fresh Gum from Wrigley's.
Icy cool flavor, icy cool breath.
Mmm, it's gonna last and last and last.
Try Winter Fresh Gum from Wrigley's for icy cool breath that lasts.
My name is Walter Fischer. I design cars for Volkswagen.
I like to drive them.
Marketing people ask me to design a special driver's car.
I've done well. I'll design it like my car.
With a spoiler, alloy wheels, sunroof.
One standard.
My wife thinks they should call it the Walter Fischer Edition.
They said they'd think about it.
On the Road of Life, there are passengers and there are drivers.
Show them for laughs on News Radio.
50,000 watts of pure comedy, five times a week.
Coming this fall to UPN 31 K-Max.
12, 47, 11.
And the final winning lottery number is...
New all-white meat chicken.
Tender slices of grilled white meat chicken now in the gorditas you know and love.
Resistance is futile given to white meat chicken gorditas.
Welcome to the Chicken Channel.
If you know, you've got a Nano.
Greetings, Earthlings. New Galactic Gushers has landed.
Special cosmic pieces have invaded every pouch of gushers.
A taste so out of this world.
They'll send you into orbit.
So deliciously spicy.
Observe its weird coloring, bumpy surface.
Its explosive fruity green alien center.
There's nothing like them on Earth.
New Galactic Gushers. Only visiting this planet for a short time.
More!
Never felt like this until I kissed you.
How did I exist until I kissed you?
Never had you on my mind.
When you find the one that's unlike any other, that's when it's love.
That's when it's Dr. Pepper.
Dr. Pepper, this is the taste.
Kissed ya.
This is a Nanny Alert.
With the outrageous comedy of the Nanny coming to weekdays,
this station urges you to make sure your TV set is Nanny ready.
Check the volume.
Monitor your color level.
I don't look too much like a roll of Life Savers.
Yes, but the flavor goes on and on.
And adjust the brightness.
You are going to rectify this situation.
Wow, that sounds painful.
Plan Dressure is the Nanny.
I'm the Nanny.
Coming five days a week. Are you ready?
Coming September 14th to UPN 31 K-Max.
Tinkle. Wee-wee. Pittle.
We have a lot of cute names for it.
But wetness isn't so cute when it's next to baby skin.
That's why there's new Pampers Premium Extra Protection.
Amazingly thin. It speeds wetness away faster than the leading regular brand
and seals it away better under tough situations.
And it helps baby's delicate skin stay dry.
Pediatricians know healthy skin is dry skin.
Tinkle or T.T.? Not a problem.
When you pamper the skin they're in.
John needs gas in a hurry.
Why? He's late for the Arco Picnic.
And he has 28 pounds of potato salad sweating in the back seat.
So John's using Arco's new PayQuik.
He just puts in his cash or ATM card, pumps his gas, and gets his receipt.
Got lots of mayo in your potato salad?
Use PayQuik only at Arco.
I'm Roger Sotti. I'm making a Bisco Shredded Wheat here at Post Cereals.
That's our dad.
You know, when my girls were younger I couldn't get them near a box of shredded wheat.
That's for sure.
So you want to know how it happened?
Well, it wasn't because I've been bringing it home for the last 20 years.
Sorry, Dad.
Now that they're on their own, it seems like bottled water's not the only good thing they discovered.
How come you never told us how good this stuff is? Yeah, Dad.
Ha ha. Now you think they invented shredded wheat.
This stuff is good.
Aren't there things that you wish you had two of? Like two bus days.
You get twice as many days off.
Like two bus days. You get twice as many gifts.
I mean, I love gifts, especially free ones.
Or two summers. I mean, that's like a really long time.
I mean, that's almost like forever.
Or two breaks. You'd be twice as smart.
I mean, that's like really, really smart.
I mean, you could be a regular Einstein.
What would I wish when you could watch Sister Sister?
To get in twice as much trouble, but have twice as much fun.
It's two times everything, and it's five days a week.
Sister Sister, coming this fall to UPN 31 K-Max.
Two birthdays? Cool.
Last week, price-conscious shoppers were given a box like this to try.
I'm Bobby. Bobby!
They have no idea it's gained with bleach.
So she scumped them along in the mud and the dirt in the rain yesterday.
And the mystery detergent got out that stain, huh?
The mystery detergent sure did.
I want to know if it's in the stores that I can buy it.
Look at that.
Do you use store brands? I buy the bargain.
What attracted you to the open? Cost.
So what if we told you this is really affordable? Would you switch?
Definitely. It works much better.
It smells fresh. I'm going to definitely switch.
It's hard to mean everything out here.
It makes me sad that I'm like this.
I wish I was back home.
Can true love last forever?
Everything's gonna be alright.
Everything's gonna be okay.
The new fragrance by Yonko. Say yes.
Available now at Macy's.
What I'm doing is a bit of social engineering as a judge.
I'm a stickler for education.
I am intolerant of a person who is ignorant.
But I'm also known as a person who will administer justice, who will be fair.
Introducing Judge Joe Brown.
Coming this fall to UPN 31 K-Max.
Look deep into my eyes inside the world of hypnosis Wednesday.
It's the S.
Ask your hard-darned ride of my bike with my hairy dog Mike.
I want the blues.
Kraft macaroni and cheese.
The blue box blues.
I put the pedal to the metal.
Curry on hope.
I want the blues.
Kids dig the one in the blue box, cause it's the cheesiest.
Kraft cheese and macaroni.
If mama wants the blue box, she's only got the cheese man.
I got the blues.
The world isn't getting smaller.
Our minds are expanding.
Comcast is one of the reasons why.
Keeping you involved, excited, learning, and growing.
Get installed for only $6.95.
And Comcast will donate a portion of your installation fee to purchase educational technology for Sacramento neighborhood schools.
Knowledge is power.
Get ready to rule your world.
A house call with Dr. T. Barry Brasilton.
Don't rush your toddler into toilet training or let anyone else tell you it's time.
No.
It's got to be his choice.
So I'm glad there's finally a bigger diaper for growing toddlers.
What a big help and a terrific idea.
Now he can decide for himself when the time is right.
It's got to be his achievement and no one else's.
Introducing Pamper Size 6, specially designed for growing toddlers.
UPN announces a network television first.
The P.F. word in prime time.
Pfeiffer.
The P is inside.
The secret diary of Desmond Pfeiffer coming this fall.
So how would you tell your boss if you...
If you were pregnant?
I think I'd have a little explaining to do.
Come on, help me out here.
There are days when a woman needs exceptional strength.
Secret ultra dry.
You know he's going to wonder if you're coming back.
And I'll tell him I'm planning to, which I am.
Unless I decide to stay home.
Well, whatever you decide, we'll work that out.
The absolute best type of dryness protection there is.
And P.H. balanced for a woman's chemistry.
Maybe we'll both stay home.
Let's not get too carried away over that.
Bridal showcase, the Bridal event of the fall.
Four stunning fashion shows from Bridal boutique, Citrus Heights.
The groom looks great in formal wear from Seelix.
Win one of four honeymoons to Couples Jamaica.
Eden Loreto Resort, Mexico.
The Quail Lodge Carmel.
The Fantasy Inn Lake Tahoe.
Sponsored by Lenin's and Things, the home furnishing superstore.
The Sterling Hotel Vizcaya.
Sacramento's premier reception sites.
Honeymoons, prizes, four fashion shows.
Bridal showcase at the Elegant Hyatt. Don't miss it.
You face new challenges every day.
Doing what it takes instead of doing the nine to five.
And though your job gives you a lot of satisfaction,
it doesn't give you health care benefits.
Wouldn't it be nice to see your doctor
without having to consult your checkbook first?
Well, you and your family can have affordable health care
with Kaiser Permanente Personal Advantage.
Just call 1-800-453-1014.
For as little as $62 a month, you'll have no deductibles,
preventive and emergency care,
hospitalization, prescriptions, and $15 office visits.
To receive a free information kit, call 1-800-453-1014.
And next time you need to see your doctor,
your wallet won't stand in the way.
Kaiser Permanente. Putting your health first.