Nine minutes later...
He's quiet.
He went to sleep.
All by himself.
We didn't even get into a fifteen minute.
No way.
This was progress, but the peace didn't last.
Aaaaaaah!
Michael was up from one thirty to three in the morning.
Aaaaaaah!
We'll spare you the detail.
Aaaaaaah!
The next day they met with Dr. Ferber and for the first time watched the tape.
He could tell that this is serious now.
Aaaaaaah!
He's starting to do a few things that are under his control.
He's picking up his blanket.
He's starting to see what he can do by himself.
And that's exactly what we want him to learn.
Aaaaaaah!
By the second night Michael was already learning.
Look what he's doing there.
He's starting to arrange his crib.
He's bringing over his animals.
Putting them down.
Starting to get the crib set up for himself.
Ha.
Sit down.
That's funny.
Lies down.
Mm-hmm.
He covers himself with his blanket, right?
And off he goes.
He lies down for a while and then comes back.
The third night.
Aaaaaaah!
It doesn't start out very well.
But just two minutes later...
He's quiet.
Russ thinks something is wrong.
Watch your step.
How can you be sleeping?
You're not going to wake him up.
You're not going to just do it.
I don't want him to take a look.
No.
He won't collapse if he does.
What's the matter?
It's the third night.
At three in the morning Michael did wake up.
He picked up his blanket, cried a little bit,
and then went back to sleep on his own.
His parents didn't have to go into his room all night.
Our camera crew even got some sleep.
And Michael slept as well the next night and the nights after that.
You should have did this a long time ago.
I know.
Dr. Ferber says this treatment works this well and this fast for most children.
Of course, even getting your children into their bedroom can be a battle.
To help make that easier, here are three tips from the experts.
First, consistency is important.
They say try to make bedtime the same time each night.
Second, if you have trouble getting your toddlers to sleep as early as you want,
consider making nap time earlier.
If they're napping between four and six o'clock,
don't expect them to be eager to go to bed again at eight.
However, cutting a nap out altogether, the experts say,
is not a good idea if your child is younger than three.
That can just make them cranky and more difficult.
Finally, a bedtime routine is important.
Bedtime can be scary for children.
They have to separate from their parents and go into a dark room.
One of the worst things you can do is to suddenly put your child in the bed and say good night.
The experts say there should be a period of transition, a bedtime ritual.
It can be most anything, an evening bath, singing, playing quietly,
or just talking about the day's event.
As long as it's roughly the same ritual every night.
There's a nightmare in my closet?
Yes, yes.
No one claims these ideas work all the time, but they should help.
And then we can get some sleep.
We'll need it to get ready for year two.
A terrible two. Mind made up.
He wants things his way, but it's possible for both of you to win.
What's a parent to do?
We'll show you after this.
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Hold it right there, Buster.
A suggestion to all you grownups.
We know what's best for you.
Who think there's no time for a hot breakfast.
Consider Kellogg's Pop Tarts.
Just wait until you have children.
Hot and fast from the toaster.
You like fruit, don't you?
All that fruit filling.
Mmm, tasty.
Kellogg's Pop Tarts.
How about a hug?
Real good, real fast.
Just a suggestion.
V8 Power drove Gary Gellwix home to a Dodge Dakota 4x4.
For Rich Gallo, it was 6,500 pounds of towing.
And for Tom Curtis, 2,000 pounds of payload muscle.
The midsize Dakota V8.
Peterson's 4-wheel 4x4 of the year.
And with a new 4x4 club cab model, the best all-round pickup you can buy.
Welcome back, America.
Now get total savings of the $4,370 on Select Dodge trucks.
For fun around here, me and the boys like to do something a little bit crazy.
Put two kinds of cheese on a cheeseburger.
For a wild new taste, head to the store for two kinds of cheese and lean ground beef.
Cheddar and mustard. Crazy.
Oh, the terrible tunes.
All you want is a little cooperation.
But all you get is no, no, no.
I thought he'd turn you into a beast.
This two-year-old is a beast.
What's a parent to do?
Some suggestions when we continue in a moment.
Tuesday.
Ugh, you're gonna hate LA.
I will.
Melissa's got a job on a sitcom.
Do you have a real feel for the show?
Loves the star.
The pressure cooker.
It really is.
Loves the writer.
Something about you.
Hates the business.
Who do you want us to contact?
Excuse me?
Who represents you?
I do.
Dirty something. Tuesday.
Auto accidents that aren't accidents at all.
Quick with doctors and lawyers giving crash courses and insurance fraud.
This is organized crime.
Chris Wallace shows you how it's done and how you pay for it.
Prime Time Undercover, Thursday.
Now, from the team that stands for San Diego 24-hour today, this is a 10 News Nightcast Update.
The sheriff's department is on the wrong end of a wrongful death lawsuit tonight.
We'll explain why at 11.
Also tonight, the attitude is remarkable from a man badly injured by a pipe bomb.
And there is a new movement to cleanse the nation's blood supply of any tainted blood.
And for a look at what's coming up in perspective, here is Michael Tuck.
Just what kind of a brainwashing campaign is this by public school teachers?
Is it for the students' benefit or the teachers?
Join us at 11.
El Torito has over 40 items for under $7.99.
And for a limited time, that even includes our big three-item Fiesta Combos.
In Japan, where the luxury performance sedan has been revolutionized by Lexus and Infiniti,
a new luxury performance sedan has just won Japan's highest honor.
Introducing the new Diamante from Mitsubishi, Japan's car of the year.
Mitsubishi. The word is getting around.
San Diegans reveal their true personalities this week on 10 News at 5.
Parent to Do. Once again, John Stossel.
There comes a day when your baby changes from a sweet, cooperative little bundle
to a belligerent, self-centered two-year-old.
I'm exaggerating, of course, but the rebelliousness that comes with age two
is so universal that they gave it a name, a terrible two.
So what's a parent to do? Do you hold your ground, show the kid that you're the boss,
or give in and risk raising a brat?
We discover that there's a middle ground, and the terrible twos don't have to be terrible.
Meet the Merkley family. Greg is a business consultant. He's 27.
Lori's 26. She's a homemaker.
There's baby Lauren. She's one.
And Cameron. He's two and a half.
No! No, no! No!
I'm not gonna...
You want me to wash your hair?
No! All the time, no!
No wonder they call it the terrible two.
All this resistance. Until he turned two, he was so cooperative.
Not anymore.
I thought, what? He turned into a beast! This two-year-old is a beast!
Sometimes I felt like he was out to get me.
He was out to destroy my life and he made me miserable.
One day he is such an angel.
He wants to be a big boy. A Carrie Daddy's briefcase.
Can I get another kiss? I'll see you tonight, okay?
No, I have to go to the train station.
What are you going to do at the train station?
I'm gonna get on the train.
He can really be very loving and real lovable.
And then suddenly he just can't handle anything that happens.
Cameron insists on going to work with his dad.
Now if you haven't spent much time with two-year-olds, Cameron may seem like a brat to you.
But he's not. Experts we spoke to say he's a typical two-year-old.
All right.
Now I'll go up there.
However, they also say that if you know what this age is all about and how to handle it,
the twos don't have to be so terrible.
Child expert Bernice Weisbord writes a column for Parents Magazine on two-year-olds.
A two-year-old is really going through a very difficult stage of ambivalence.
They're sometimes wanting very much to be their own individual person and grown up.
Hey, who's the biggest boy in this house?
Me.
And the next minute we'll just want to be very dependent.
It's such a contrast to the way Cameron was a short time ago.
When Cameron was his little sister's age, he was more cooperative.
It's probably because he didn't know any other way to behave.
But at this age he's learning he can do a lot of things on his own,
and so he's dying to do them and do them his way.
You said you wanted to go outside.
I want to go outside this way.
No, we need to go out in the backyard.
No!
That's tough on parents.
No!
Watch what happens when Lori takes Cameron and his sister to the supermarket.
Do you want to walk or do you want to ride?
Taking a two-year-old shopping is quite a project.
We'll leave the pans there, okay? We have plenty of pans.
Everything is interesting to him.
Pushing a cart is a thrill.
Even refrigerator doors are fascinating.
Come on, buddy. Come on, Cameron.
And instead of telling Cameron to be quiet and saying, don't do this, don't do that,
Lori tries to turn his energy to useful things.
Do you want to get something for me?
Yeah.
Okay, let's go to your side and we'll find something.
This is for you to get out.
Here, can you put that cart over here?
I usually try to make it an experience for him being my helper, putting things in the basket.
He loves doing it.
I do what I thought was right.
This makes the shopping trip last longer, but it does avoid fights.
Now, you may feel that Lori should be stricter with Cameron.
Basically, you have two choices with a two-year-old.
You can do what Greg and Lori do, give him as much freedom as possible,
or you can consistently restrict your child and make him behave.
Many parents advocate that, saying unless you do that, you'll raise a brat.
But today, leading child experts argue that if you restrict your child too much,
you can hurt his self-esteem.
If a child is to grow up and feel good about himself,
he needs to practice his independence to learn that he can do things on his own.
Also, this age may be easier for parents if you remember that when he's being a pest,
he's not trying to be bad.
Cameron.
Parents will sometimes feel that this is the time their kids are bad,
because the kids are into everything,
but they're doing it just because they're learning about their world.
That doesn't mean you should never say no.
A two-year-old doesn't know all the rules yet.
They need your guidance.
You do not hit more.
You think about that.
With children this age, you have safety limits, of course,
and you don't have to let children do things that are going to absolutely drive you crazy
if you set a few limits and say, you can't do that.
But there shouldn't be too many, because that's overwhelming.
Remember that supermarket trip that was going so well?
Well, the checkout counter is often a crisis point.
The reason supermarket managers put candy here is to make money on impulse purchases.
Really, they don't put it here to torture parents,
but of course, that's what it does, because kids can reach it.
Lori tries to distract Cameron.
So far, so good, but nothing works perfectly.
Sometimes a two-year-old can't tolerate not getting what he wants.
Well, we'll talk about a treat, and we're all done with this.
I understand you want it.
What do you do here?
There's nothing to negotiate.
It's yes or no, and Lori's policy is no candy.
But Cameron's making a scene in public.
Psychologists told us there's no point trying to reason with a child who's throwing a tantrum.
At home, just let it run.
I know you want a candy.
Don't you hit me.
I don't like it when you hit me.
The experts also say if you get upset, that'll probably mean everything around you is going crazy.
Try to stay calm.
In public, though, it's tough to let a tantrum run.
Lori decides to give in.
You want to buy some, let's buy some lifesavers.
She felt bad about giving in.
How do you know what's right in situations like this?
Now, this is it for dinner.
Lori told us she'd give anything to be able to discuss questions like that with Dr. Brazelton.
She'd read his books and, like many parents, considered him the current Dr. Spock.
So we brought them together.
For Dr. Brazelton to give an informed opinion on how Lori and Greg are doing with Cameron,
he, of course, had to see the family in action.
So we showed him some videotape.
Pretty funny as long as you're not there.
We'd selected some of Cameron's best and worst moments.
I think what we're concerned about is consistency.
When are you able to be nice one time or to give in without losing all the ground you've gained thus far?
I would say that consistency for the important things like hurting yourself or like bedtime, if that's important to you.
But the rest of them, let them go.
Consistency in the second year is hopeless. Forget it.
There's no way to be consistent.
Now, different children assert their independence in different ways.
In Cameron's case, it's meal time when he's most difficult.
The second we came to this footage on food, you all both groaned.
Do you want to say the blessing?
He has been rotten here. We don't know what to do about it.
Sometimes she resorts to bribery.
If you eat your cheese sandwich and eat macaroni and cheese, then I think we can have a problem.
Yeah, I think he'd like that.
But soon after that settles, Cameron manufactures a new problem.
I want to put the milk in here.
He wants milk in his macaroni.
Put the milk in there, Daddy.
Where, in your macaroni?
Yeah.
Why don't you put milk in at the very end?
I need milk in my macaroni.
We have tried, you know, saying, well, eat what you want and given them what we have for dinner.
The poor kid goes to bed without dinner six out of seven nights if we do that.
I feel like I can't fail.
At what?
At being a good mother.
At being a good mother and providing for my child.
Controlling his feeding.
Bingo!
Do you think it's that important for him to eat dinner?
It's not that important?
It isn't.
Just let him go to bed without supper. It doesn't matter that he doesn't eat.
There are only four things you need in the second year, all the way through the second year, and they're very minimal.
You need a pint of milk, you need a little bit of meat or egg, you need a multivitamin to cover a vegetable, and one ounce of orange juice. That's all.
You just let it go?
What do you think the second year is all about?
Well, it's becoming their own person.
And I think it's another day.
Whatever you're going to try to control, he's going to turn it around.
I think it's even deeper than just control, too.
In the first year, you have such a lovely time with the child.
It's bound to just torture you when you see, my God, I don't have that lava hair anymore. He won't let me.
I lost my baby.
I know, look. It's painful as hell.
I'm not finished.
How can parents make it less painful? Well, here are some suggestions from the experts.
First, give your child choices.
If he says no when you say, would you like to play outside, and no when you say, would you like to then stay inside, instead just say, would you like to play inside or outside?
Then your child feels he has power. He makes the choice.
For instance, look how Lori handles it when Cameron wants pretzels for breakfast.
Pretzels.
You don't have pretzels in the morning. Would you like oatmeal or waffles?
Oatmeal.
Another idea is to get a kitchen timer, and then you can say to your child, look at this. If you help me set this, then when it goes off, then it's your bedtime, okay?
That way the timer's the bad guy, not you.
Finally, don't expect these tips to work all the time. They won't.
Two-year-olds are unpredictable, after all.
But if you can see their defiance as something they need to do to grow up, and not as something they're doing just to be bad, then maybe you can enjoy the good parts more.
And there are plenty of those.
It somehow teaches you a little bit about looking at things a different way.
No, nothing is old hat to him. Last night he was listening to the sound of the water going down the drain in the bathtub.
I hear nothing.
Something you never think about, but he was listening to it.
I tell you, it is a wonder. It's a miracle to watch these little kids grow and become a person.
The best moments that I have with Cameron, I'm elated. I think that's my boy.
I was researching this report that I found most helpful raising my kids. It was such a relief to know I didn't have to fight all that rebellion, that it was okay to just stand back and let them flex their muscles.
It took pressure off me. I didn't have to say no all the time. And it made the twos a lot more fun.
However, apparently many people feel very differently because when we first ran that story, we got an angry response.
I'll tell you about that in a moment.
Everyone calls me father, and I love a kid cereal.
Brave adults wrestle with the notion that kelap frosted flakes is just for kids.
I work with tigers. I never thought I'd love one.
That delectable frosting, that incredible crunch, no wonder adults never outgrow the taste.
Oh, I'm guilty. Guilty, guilty.
It's no crime. Frosted flakes have the taste adults have grown to love. They're great.
Poor Sam and Samantha. So young and yet so glum. Changing time was just no fun.
But old Mother Goose waved her wing and put all the magic of story time into new Huggies diapers. Just the thing.
Nursery rhymes, learning rhymes, playful pictures, too. Eleven designs in every package.
Now Sam and Samantha are full of glee in new story time Huggies, and changing time is happy as can be.
Oh, I love best footwear, dude.
You're a speed, babe. I'm gonna outrun your bug killer.
Guess again, home bug.
Bugs can't escape raid ant and roach killer. It contains quick killing pyrethrin, and it's made to work twice as fast as before.
Whoa! Raid!
That's like in the fast lane.
Raid ant and roach kills bugs fast, kills bugs dead.
My friends, air superiority has finally been achieved for civilians.
This significant victory for our nation's business travelers was won by America West Airlines, who have reduced full coach fares up to 40 percent,
with no restrictions, while maintaining a high standard of service.
In short, there's only one airline that me and the Mrs. would even consider taking, America West Airlines.
And we're going on the fly casting convention in Lompoc.
America West. The more you fly, the more we make sense.
We're all going to Italy. Tuesday, when Tony inherits a vineyard.
Greetings, fellow villagers. He's welcomed with fresh fruit. Who's the boss?
And at a special time, Ned Beatty guest stars.
That's a chemistry set. Every boy should have one.
No, you shouldn't have done that, Ed. We could just turn on the gas and blow ourselves up.
An hour of rosé, Ed.
I flew here this morning from Colombia.
A dope smuggler swallows his stash.
If somebody dies, it's not your fault, is it?
No, not totally.
What percentage would you say?
That's two-thirds.
Twenty-three years ago, this Vietnam vet came home. His buddy didn't.
He spent the last two decades searching for his family.
Last week, an emotional meeting. These parents found out how their son lived and how he died.
Watch 2020, Friday.
We got a lot of complimentary mail after we first aired these reports.
Especially the one about getting your child to sleep.
Parents wrote that finally they'd been able to get some sleep.
But the response to Cameron's adventures was different.
Here's a sample.
You and your experts goofed in this report.
My children never threw tantrums. We simply didn't allow it.
The child used as a subject in your report was a genuine brat.
Cameron's mother was a wimp.
This boy manipulated his parents, and I feel very sorry for them.
Trying to reason everything out with a child of two is futile.
Sometimes a good old-fashioned smack on the bottom works wonders.
Well, we went back to the child care specialists.
Their response was that, yes, you can make kids behave with strong discipline.
But there's a cost.
A two-year-old testing his powers.
If you put a lid on that, shove it all under,
they say there's a chance you'll raise passive or fearful kids,
or kids who behave well when you're there and badly when you're not.
The children who do best long-term, said the experts,
are those whose parents set limits.
No one advocates total permissiveness, but allow the kids to express anger.
By expressing it, they learn how to handle it.
That's all we have for tonight, but we'll keep looking at these issues.
In fact, in a few weeks we'll have a report on, well, brats.
Hugh and Barbara will be back Friday night.
Until then, on behalf of everyone at 20-20, thanks for joining us.
I'm John Stossel. Good night.
In Japan, where the luxury performance sedan has been revolutionized by Lexus and Infiniti,
a new luxury performance sedan has just won Japan's highest honor.
Introducing the new Diamante from Mitsubishi.
Japan's car of the year.
Mitsubishi. The word is getting around.
If you're on the Ultra Slim Fast Plan, Tommy Lasorda's here to tell you the plan's even easier.
Introducing Ultra Slim Fast frozen entrees.
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Ultra Slim Fast. Give us a week. We'll take off the weight.
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Just use my 2,000 Flushes. It has chlorine.
It cleanses away stains automatically for up to four months.
2,000 Flushes cleans your toilet with every flush.
I'll get the dressing. Let's make it fresh.
Good seasons.
Mm. The dressing's great.
Good seasons. You make it fresh. You make it best.
Coming up next on Nightcast at the last minute, city officials clam up about the sex scandal.
They'll explain why. And a big effort to clean up our nation's blood supply.
I'm Carol LeBeau.
And I'm Kimberly Hunt.
A man goes to incredible lengths to save a deer.
And Michael Tuck's perspective. Nightcast is next.
How you doing? I'm Rick Dees. And late tonight is Joan Rivers.
And we're going to talk from 30-something Melody Mehran.
Plus Spanish television's number one talk show host, Christina Saralegui.
Into the night.
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For transcripts in 2020, send $5 to 2020 Transcripts.
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