My name is Major David Humphries.
I'm the Deputy Chief of Police for the Panama City Beach Police Department.
The average spring break in Panama City Beach consists of between 400 and 600,000 guests.
You name it, I've seen it.
Every time I say that, I turn around and I see something I've never seen before.
Treat yourself to a bonus.
The FX Friday Night Fix.
Two hours of outrageous reality starting at 10.
Returning plunkers into chariots on Drive Shad.
Then go from the doghouse at the treehouse on Trash to Cash with John Duress.
Catch life in the fast lane on the hitchhiker Chronicles.
How would you like to have a threesome?
Oh, I'm in.
Next Friday at 10, only on FX.
We've watched them grow up.
We'll just tell your mother that we ate a dog.
It's sampler time!
We've watched them grow closer.
This one time at band camp.
Now.
Will you marry me?
Yes.
They'll all come together.
It's time for me to boom boom with the bridesmaids.
In the shocking.
Is it kinky?
Oh, is it weird that it feels good?
And revealing finale of an American classic.
No way, bro.
American Wedding.
Rated R. Now playing at theaters everywhere.
Don't let anything stop you from satisfying your late night hunger.
Taco Bell is open late.
Spice up the night.
Open till midnight or later.
Tony the Tiger has a new cinnamon cereal.
Crunchy with cinnamon sugar flavor.
That won't wash off in milk.
So the only place the cinnamon sugar flavor goes.
Is in your mouth.
Tony's cinnamon crunchers.
Go right till it's gone.
Oh.
What's the matter, friend?
Heartburn.
Didn't you start taking Prylosectin?
Yeah, but it could take up to four days to fully kick in.
That's a long time to wait, Frank.
Zantac 75 works fast.
Right when you need it.
Zantac for people who hate to wait.
Of all the rotten luck damned to spend eternity pushing a boulder up a hill.
That's enough to send a bloke mad.
Sisyphus.
What?
Hello?
Oh, now I'm hearing voices.
Sisyphus, you hit rock bottom.
What you need is a
Red Bull stimulation for body and mind.
So, Sisyphus, feeling a little boulder?
You bet.
Suddenly, eternity isn't long enough.
Red Bull gives you wings.
Oh, Sisyphus.
Please, please, please, please, please.
You guys want a ride?
Yeah.
It hurts so bad.
When do you want to sit up front?
I will.
Cool.
So, what's your guys' names?
I'm Emma.
I'm Rachel.
I'm Jolene.
So, where are you guys down from?
Wisconsin.
Wisconsin Milwaukee.
The T-State.
We just got here today and we didn't even check in our hotel room yet.
It's our first spring break, so we're, you know, from Wisconsin, not much to do.
It's our first spring break.
We're going to party like it's our first spring break.
Right.
So, we're going to have a little party.
We're going to have a little party.
Really?
So, you're probably...
Are you going to be hooking up with other dudes down here then?
Hell no.
Hell yes.
You are?
Rachel.
Hell no.
We have a Zimbo in the States and Florida.
Zimbo in the States and Florida.
That's our little secret.
That's how we should keep it.
Our toast.
It's bing single, sing double, sing double, sing double.
That's how we should keep it.
The sisters are the best.
That's the best.
Who says that?
That's the best.
Who says that?
That's the best.
Wait.
We are?
I can tell you're a good person.
Oh my God.
You're a good person.
I'm really good.
I don't even know what I'm saying.
You are?
You're good?
Yeah.
Well what's good to find good?
I can tell you a really big secret but y'all are gonna believe me.
Tell her.
I am the only guaranteed...
Only.
Go on the beach.
Go on the beach right now.
I guarantee I'm the only virgin in Spring Break.
Well, you just did this big test on sleep in triple.
We talked big.
Is that what it is?
I talked big.
But you're pretty proud of being a virgin, right?
I am.
Yeah, well that's awesome.
It's like if I meet a guy, I'll speak straight up and tell him, you know, you're not going
to be acting any, and it's like this is what they see, like you can see but you can't cut.
Hi.
Hey, how are you?
What's your name?
Charlie.
Charlie and Christina.
Nice to meet you.
Where are you from?
New York.
Utica, New York.
That's where I go to school, yeah.
I can't believe I'm up just early.
Were you up all night?
Yeah, I was up until 536.
Whoa.
Just straight in there.
Were you partying hard or what?
Yes, I was partying very hard.
I think I'm still, still drunk a little bit.
Oh, no.
So what did you do last night?
Anything crazy happen?
Oh, a lot of crazy things happened last night actually because I thought I met the girl
in my dreams.
I called my mother in the middle of the night, had the girl talk to my mother and I can just
imagine my mom's not having a good time.
Was that a drunken decision?
Yeah, that was a very, very drunken decision.
So where did you meet this girl?
I met her in the middle of the night.
Oh, yeah.
I was in the middle of the night.
And that's when you call your mother in the middle of the night after all that.
So where is this girl now?
Probably never see her again.
Oh, no.
That's how it goes down here, I'll tell you what.
What do you mean?
You never see these girls again.
That's the beauty of it.
What number of girls is this that you've fallen in love with this week?
All of them.
Many of them I've seen.
I'm in love with you right now.
Oh, God.
Should I call you that?
I'm in love with you right now.
Should I call my mother?
You want to call her?
Let's call her right now.
No, I'm not going to call my mother now.
Just for you to meet the girl of your dreams, you've got to call your mother, you know,
and let her know.
Call my girlfriend too.
Oh, wait.
Yeah.
Yeah, let's stop it right there.
Hey there.
How are you?
Okay.
What's your name?
Mandy.
Mandy?
Nice to meet you.
So where are you from?
I live here.
Cool.
How long have you lived here?
Forever.
Cool.
You like it?
It's free.
So what do you like?
Let it all out, girl.
It's all right.
I like doing bad things.
Really?
Like what do you consider bad?
I'm not bad.
Like getting f**ked up.
Drugs, alcohol, XTs.
Makes you wilder.
Really?
A lot wilder.
So when you say like it makes you do things that you wouldn't normally do, like you're
not going to do, like you're not going to do, like you're not going to do, like you're
not going to do, like you're not going to do it, like you're not going to do, like you're
not going to do it.
Like does it make you do things that you wouldn't normally do?
Like what does it make you do?
I don't know.
I wouldn't normally do it a long time ago, but I would normally do it now, like do stuff
with girls, and...
What do you do with girls?
I have sex with them.
Really?
Do you like it?
I mean yeah.
It's cool.
There's nothing wrong with it, I don't think.
Was it someone that you knew?
That was my best friend.
Oh, your best friend?
How did it say that you're into bad things?
I don't know.
Oh, your best friend?
How did the safest person do it?
True.
How did that happen?
Like what happened?
I'll tell you.
It was on my birthday, and it was the very first time that ever rolled at all.
Rolled X.
Oh, you took it.
Okay.
Yeah, you took X.
It was me, her, and her boyfriend.
And we seen this guy.
He was the finest guy I've ever seen.
He was so fun.
So we went back to his house, me, him, her, and her boyfriend.
And we were both on the same bed.
We were getting done stuff too by them.
And he was just...
What were they doing?
I think they were just f***ed out.
Oh, okay.
We were doing some crazy s*** that night.
She was doing a handstand up against the wall.
We had legs spread eagle, and I was f***ed the whole night.
How many times did you like get her off that night?
It was probably like 50 orgasms.
I swear to God.
We just had them back to back to back to back to back to back.
This is the best sexual experience I've ever had.
Why don't you just break up with your girlfriend and just bang a bunch of girls?
Or I could stay with my girlfriend and make more friends.
How many porn ads for?
So it looks like I'm dirty.
I'm really not. I promise you.
Well, it's kind of a tease though.
Everything.
You said you could make me look better. I need to look different now.
And the price of perfection has never been this high.
Hello?
Watch your mouth!
Hello!
Yes!
Hello!
Dennie!
Hello!
Tell the app.
年的!
Hello!
Pretend the little miss is on the run.
Tell the app.
32 air fresheners.
I don't have a lot of money, so dealers are not an option.
And not driving to tournaments isn't an option either.
With Pet Boys, I get exactly what dealers offer for less.
Less as in only $19.88 for our preventive maintenance special.
Get an oil and filter change and tire rotation.
Plus, we'll get under the hood.
Check your fluids, hoses, belts, even check your brake system.
Pet Boys, we're car people.
Meet amazing new Brillo Scrub and Toss cleaning pads.
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When they get too cruddy, chuck them.
They cost next to nothing.
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Work them hard, work them long, let them go.
At Office Depot, you'll find all the school supplies your child needs to achieve success.
This proves the entire theory.
Of course, some of it is up to him, Office Depot, because how you prepare your kids for
school can have a lot to do with how they actually...
Stay inside, it is hot, hot.
How can it be this hot, this early?
98.
What are we going to do about this?
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If you want to get this number two, we're going to make some noise.
Okay, so you have a girlfriend.
Yeah, I have a girlfriend back in New York.
She actually called me, but I answered it, you know what I mean, which was dumb.
I was in a truck with four girls from MarketSauk, riding down the strip, and I seen her number
two, and round the dock.
And now, And then they're working.
When ended09
So, one of the things that I think a lot of people may big time think when, you know,
They're really, they're you know in a lifetime.
So, you know, we recommend the freak, you know, you said when you go to the places where