Hi everybody, welcome to Later. I'm your host Cindy Crawford. My guest tonight is an actor,
writer, comedian, and one of the funniest guys around. You can see him around the clock in his
latest rant. Check it out. I wrote this letter. Dear Lotus, I think the web should be used for
surfing and having fun, not for business. Business is boring. Mikey Powers. You know what, Mikey?
Guess what? You're a kid. You can't boat, you can't drive, you can't handle the fact that big
companies are using the web to save a billion dollars and get the products to market faster.
All you care about is fooling around on your computer, right? But who pays for that fancy
computer, huh? Your parents. How do they make money? Business. You know what, Mikey? Got a bet.
He's now starring in his one-man show on HBO called Dennis Leary, Lock and Load,
and it's available on CD. Take a look. And the wildest thing about the whole trial to me,
amongst all the weird facts, was that did you notice that Marv actually gave us to pay a haircut to
show up in court? Did you notice that? He trimmed up the toupee as if that was going to make him
look more innocent. Yes! Yes! With the toupee fits, you must have quit. Yes!
I think I hear him knocking. Please welcome Dennis Leary.
First of all, the IBM Lotus thing is a great angle for me, you know what I mean?
Laying down like this, double chin, right up the nostrils. I know. You should have like
checked out the lighting beforehand. You look good. Laying down. You look good. Your nostrils
look good. Right, that one shot right up. I cut the hair before we shot.
Don't you have someone to do that for you now? Yeah, I do actually have a nostril hair guy now.
Todd, do you want to come out here? Just kidding. How funny would that be if I actually have my own
nostril hair guy? Some people need it, I've seen, and haven't actually been keeping up on it.
Anyway, do you remember the first time we met? Many, many, well let's just say many, many. What
was the first time? Hawaii. In Hawaii, that's right. He actually was coming on my show,
Lots of Style. You were doing those, the famous kind of rants for MTV. And we actually went to
see Don Ho together. We did. Oh my god. That's right, we sang with Don Ho. We sang with Don Ho.
Remember he said to me at the end, would I sit on his organ? Do you remember that? And it was like,
it was like, you could tell he said that line like that was probably his 1,000th time. Well,
the funny thing is we went backstage, I remember, and he tried to act like he knew who I was,
which he's like 70 then, so that was like five years ago. And the whole time he was like,
he was trying to hit on Cindy, but he couldn't because she was talking to other people and stuff.
Yeah, I wasn't interested in it anyway. I think he had a toupee or a hair weave.
Or something, I know we said it looked like the hair on a coconut. But also, when I met you,
it did. It did. But when- Yeah, he was sitting down and when you were talking to him, it looked
like the hair on a coconut. He needs some nostril hair transplanted to his regular hair.
When I, actually, the first time I met you was- Could these be bigger by the way?
I know, they're first swim in between flights. You had just gotten off a very long flight and
you were not allowed to smoke. That's right, yeah.
And I said that there was smoking on my flight and you were so mad, you were like, I can't believe it.
That was back in the days when you could still get some flights that had smoking.
I know, and you planned your travel schedule around smoking flights.
It was tough. That was like, because that's like for me from New York, that was like 14 hours,
a long or 20? Yeah, it was something. It was long.
You were a trooper. Yeah.
You were famous for those rants. I mean, I have a favorite one.
The Cindy Crawford one. No, no, no. Actually, do you remember that one?
I don't. You know, I don't remember. All I remember is that you were sitting
naked on top of the Empire State Building. I actually wasn't in your-
In my dreams. In my dreams. You were sitting naked. How great would that be, by the way?
You got the Empire State Building. Look, Cindy Crawford's naked. But I think it was a whole take
off on everything on MTV at that time, unplugged. Right. You said like Cindy unplugged, acoustic Cindy.
Yeah, everything Cindy. Right. But my favorite one was you did
one on Keith Richards and being a bit of a hypocrite maybe that he tells everyone not to do drugs now.
Right. Well, then he did. But do you remember what he said about that?
What did I say about that? It was something like that we can't do
drugs because he's done them all. Yeah, right.
And then he said, we have to wait till he dies. Can I tell you a great Keith Richards story though?
He's funny, but I get to laugh. I can't remember any of it so long ago.
Your first real big break was your one man show, No Cure for Cancer. And how did that all come about?
This is kind of interesting. I went to- my wife was pregnant and she was five months pregnant.
And we went for a weekend to England for me to do an appearance on a TV show.
And her water broke the day after we landed. So we had to be premature over there, tiny.
So we had to wait till he was big enough to come home, which is like five months.
So I had nothing to do so I wrote the show. Then I did the show over there and became a hit
and took it over here to Off Broadway in New York and it became a hit.
Yeah, and you got like a ton of awards. Yeah, and then I did the MTV stuff.
And it's like from that you were best known for like chain smoking, red meat eating, saying the F word a lot.
What was it about the F word? I sound like my mother. Don't say the F word.
I know. She didn't even like it. We weren't even allowed to say- well, can I say it? Can you say sucks?
We weren't even allowed to say that. You can say sucks on TV.
You can? Okay. Because we weren't allowed to say it at home. We got in trouble.
Really? Yeah, we got like soap in the mouth, like the whole thing.
Did you really? Yeah. Wow.
I know. But what do you think about that character that people responded to? I mean, why- what was it?
Well, at that time, I can't- I wouldn't analyze it myself, but I'm guessing here. But I think
at that time, because I didn't get a lot of work in comedy clubs. I couldn't work on the road
because my act was too quote unquote, you know, insane and dirty. And again, use the F word too much.
And the MF word and every other word you can think of. So, but I think what happened was when I-
by the time I did it in New York off Broadway, it was like the right crowd. It was downtown.
And also it was like right in like 91, 92. And I think people were getting really tired of like
the politically correct kind of behavior, you know what I mean? Exactly. So, and they're getting sick
of rock stars being pretentious, you know, like Don Henley and people like that. Right, I think
exactly. It's kind of like you said, but everyone, you know, everyone's trying to like total the party
line and be politically correct. But then it's kind of great to see someone going, ah, screw that.
What kind of comedians do you admire? I mean, who makes you laugh? I like, well, my favorite guy of
all time is Richard Pryor. Really? He was the first guy when I- I can remember when I was-
He used the F word a lot too. Yeah, and the MF word. He invented the MF word, I think.
Richard Pryor. He, I remember when I was in 78, I think, he did his first concert film. And at that time
he didn't have cable, so the only comedians you would see would be on The Tonight Show and on,
you know, the other talk shows. So, and they were all pretty clean cut. And he was the first guy
that I watched the thing and I went, wow, I didn't know you could say that. You know what I mean? And he
also was extreme, besides the language thing, he was extremely funny, I thought. So he was the first
guy that really kind of made me want to do stand-up comedy. And a lot of other, like a lot of people
now, like Janine Garofalo makes me fall off. I've never seen her do stand-up. She's great. And I like
Stephen Wright. I like, I'm gonna forget people now and get in trouble. It's okay, it's okay. Yeah,
a whole bunch of people. You can think of them during the break. Like Cindy cut out later on.
Yeah, right. You can think of them during the break. We'll be right back with Dennis Leary.
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Welcome back to Later. I'm Cindy Crawford and we're chatting with Dennis Leary. You were like the bad guy in the ref.
Yeah, I was actually the good guy in a way because the family needed to be fixed.
To be taught a lesson. And you did it with a gun. That's like the modern family therapy.
Yeah, it was a new kind of therapy. Yeah, I like that movie.
That movie was great. I mean, I actually came to the premiere. I don't know if you remember that.
Yeah, I do remember that. You were very much getting all the attention that night, as you should have.
But it was because... Oh, a little bitterness. No, no, not at all. But I came to support my MTV people.
Because actually a friend of ours, Ted Demme, directed it. He's like an MTV guy.
Yep, he was the guy who was the creator of MTV Raps. And my spots. Yeah. And he did your spots.
Yeah. I knew he did that. What about the whole process of making movies? Is that...
Because coming from doing... I know you were acting. You acted in college?
Yeah, when I was 13 years old, first time.
So it wasn't like you were only a stand-up comedian. You did acting and then you were doing stand-up.
But then to actually make a movie, did you like that process?
Yeah, well, that was actually one of the first movies I made.
And on top of making a big feature that you're starring in, to do it with Ted, who's one of my best friends.
And Kevin Spacey and a lot of the actors in that film, Christine Baranski, are all people from the New York scene.
And we all kind of knew each other. And the writer was an old friend of mine from college, Richard LeGravity.
And so it was kind of unfair because we all thought this is how we're going to make movies for the rest of the time we make movies,
which is like a lot of fun and laughing all the time. Right. And then you find out that it's not always like that.
And then I found out the opposite was true. Because most movies take, as you know, the action stuff is just...
It's like, okay, stand over there and point the gun for seven hours. Okay, sit down. You know what I mean?
And then they're like, the explosion wasn't just right. Yeah. We have to reshoot the explosion.
Right. Which other movies have you been on that? And I know you have a new one that we want to talk about.
So don't kind of blow over saving that for the last section. But which ones have been really fun or, you know, other than The Ref?
I know you love them. Tooth by Sea was fun because I get along with Sandy well. Right. And she's fun.
Sandra Bullock. Sandra Bullock. And The Demolition Man was fun. It was a point, the gun and the thing will blow up.
And it took like months of work. Right. But Stallone had a golf thing. He has a golf net that they put up.
And he has a golf pro that's standing by 12 hours a day. Yeah. I swear to God.
So in between... That's like a big person. Yeah. And he would let us use the golf pro if he was doing something else.
We'd go over and I don't even golf, but we'd go over and take golf lessons between shots.
That's Hans one. That does sound like a... Yeah. It's just a guy standing there in shorts with a bunch of clubs.
Like, how you doing? I'm talking about the nostril hair guy. That's the ultimate purpose.
The nostril hair guy and the golf guy. And the golf guy. Maybe you could get one guy that could do both.
Yeah. That's probably true. I would think so. Where do you get most of your material from?
I mean, I think that's a mystery to people who aren't comedians. I need a flower stuff. I fell into my dream.
I know. Sorry. These are props. I have pollen in my water.
Most of this stuff, like No Cure for Cancer, it was the stuff that was bothering me.
I write from... I don't really write the jokes out. Like, I'm not... I can't write... I can't even tell a joke, really, the right...
A classical joke. But I can tell funny stories. So most of the stuff I write from bullet points and I talk it out on stage.
So, for instance, in Lock and Load, because I haven't worked on it as a stand-up for like four years,
I thought the show was going to be about like OJ and all this stuff that, you know, it's been in the news.
And then I started writing it and it ended up being mostly about my kids because...
That's your life. That's my life. So... And coffee, because I have to...
Now I drink a lot of coffee because you've got to be up at five o'clock in the morning with the kids.
You've got to stay up and pick them up at school. And so the kids sort of...
And you can't do what Keith Richards did. Yeah, you can't be... I don't know. He has kids. I don't know how he does this.
Coffee. Coffee.
Last coffee. Coffee with pollen in it, I think is the key.
In a lot of your routines, you're like this angry guy.
Are you like really an angry kind of pissed off person in real life or is that just the schtick for the act?
Well, most of this stuff, like even in the new show, I have a big chunk of stuff about coffee, okay?
And it comes from... I started drinking coffee again. I was making a movie in Long Island.
I was working really early mornings as this actress, a Spanish actress named Maetana Sanchez-Guion.
She's the girl from Walking the Clouds.
We were driving to the set together with some other people in my truck to try to save time.
And we all wanted coffee. So I said, I'll go into the 7-Eleven and I'll get us coffee.
Figuring 7-Eleven would have regular flavored coffee and it didn't.
And I got stuck with this. It was like maple nut crunch was the name of it. I swear to God.
But it was so early in the morning, I thought it was just somebody had spilled it in the store.
And then I got out in the truck and we realized it was in the coffee and we couldn't drink it because it tasted sweet.
I had to go back and the kid behind the counter was like pierced and he had stuff, you know, in his tongue.
And he was talking. He was a white kid. He was talking. He was a black kid. It was like...
And I just... And so a year later, this summer, I started writing the show and that sort of...
I had made a couple of notes about that. So I put them into the show.
But that morning, it wasn't very funny to me. It was just... I wanted my money back.
And he was talking like he was in the Wu-Tang Clan. You know what I mean? It was like...
It drive me nuts.
What about growing up? Were you close with your family?
I think you met my brother and those guys at the rough premiere.
I did. That's right.
Yeah. So I have a big Irish family. And I was just in Ireland doing a live show the other night.
And I literally was on stage and I said, you know, I have a few... I was doing a bit of my relatives, Irish relatives.
And I said, I have a few cousins here tonight. And they all applauded.
And I realized like half the crowd out of 1,500 people was like my relatives. And I was like, oh my God.
Does that really count as filling the auditorium when you're related to them?
Well, they actually laughed. So, you know.
You were close to your father growing up.
And now you're a father. And actually a lot of people might not know that Dennis Leary has a softer side.
And I have a clip of that. Here's Dennis being sensitive.
If you have a kid, there's a wave that washes over you. It might be two days later. It might be two weeks later.
It might be two years later. But there comes a day when you look down into that crib and you go, oh my God, look at this.
Look at this cold, sober, empty little vessel waiting to be filled up with ingredients.
And it's up to me and my wife. We can fill them up with anything. Love or hate or indifference.
And that's when I realized, oh my God, now I know why I'm supposed to have a responsibility to the planet.
Because I want him to have a better life.
Having children and being a father, has it really, you said it's changed your act, but also has it in a way encouraged you to bring your emotional side more into your...
Well, I mean, whatever. I do a lot of stuff in the new show about my kids.
And most of it's the funny side, which is the frustrating side of kids.
But truthfully, there's at least once a day that they do some ridiculously cute thing.
It makes you go, oh, you know what I mean? Which is a cliche, but it's true.
Especially my daughter, who's always pushing the buttons, the daddy buttons.
Right, like daddy. They get that whole shoulder thing working really young.
She's got a boyfriend. She's five.
Are they living together or just...
No, she was... I'll tell you a true story.
We were out in the country one day and me and my son were playing football, which is another great dad thing.
And she's hugging trees. So I'm thinking, maybe she's an environmentalist. I don't know.
So I go, what are you doing hugging trees? She goes, I'm pretending it's... what's the kid's name?
I think it's Greg. Her boyfriend at school.
Oh, okay. I thought...
I'm like, oh my God. Imagine when she's 15.
What is she doing?
Trouble. Trouble.
That's going to be a big trouble.
Yeah, I can't wait to meet Greg when he's 15.
I'm sure you will.
We'll be right back with Dennis Leary when later returns.
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Is it impossible to get a cup of coffee flavored coffee anymore in this country?
What happened with coffee? Did I miss f***ing meeting with the coffee?
You can get every other flavor except coffee flavored coffee.
They got mochaccino, they got chocaccino, frappuccino, cappuccino, rapuccino, alpuccino. What the f***?
Welcome back to Later. I'm Cindy Crawford and we're here with Dennis Leary.
That was the coffee rant. That was the coffee rant.
That goes into a big 10 minute chunk about that kid. Oh really? Yeah. So we can hear more. Yeah.
That's from your new special Lock and Load. It's been on HBO all through November.
And there's a new CD out that also is Lock and Load. Here it is.
So everyone should go out and get this. Yeah, buy that.
Because actually the album has about 35 minutes of extra stuff that the special doesn't have.
Oh really? Because the special is only an hour. Oh cool. This is about an hour and a half.
Was it a great feeling to be back on stage doing your material again?
At the beginning it was nerve wracking.
And a good friend of mine, John Stewart, had gone and done a special a year ago.
And he kept telling me like after the first couple of weeks it'll be...
How long did it take? To do the whole thing?
Yeah. We did about four months touring the country.
And after the first week it was great.
You know, not having to wait for somebody to yell cut or you know,
to wait for lighting setups and stuff. It's just like, just me, you know, and the crowd.
One of the riffs you do in there is on Marv Albert. Yes.
So tell us a little bit about your feelings about Marv, other than the toupee.
Well he... Well I think the toupee thing is pretty funny.
Not the thing of me just cutting it, but the thing about the hair weave.
He says it's a hair weave. It's not a toupee. What's the difference?
Well, first of all, toupee, it is a toupee.
Because if that's a hair weave, I'd like to know what hair it's weaved from.
Maybe Don Ho's coconut hair. Yeah, maybe from his back hair, you know.
But he's just... I don't know. I mean if that was me, it wouldn't be.
But if somebody had... if I had gotten people testify in court that I was in women's underwear,
which they did, and I wouldn't come back on television like two weeks later and go,
okay, I was in the underwear. He said it was an experimental thing.
He did say he wore the underwear?
He said the whole dominatrix and the women's underwear thing was an experimental phase he went through in his life.
And I, of course, remember when I went through that phase, as you all did.
And you don't talk about it.
Yeah, I wouldn't go on national television. If somebody had that information, I wouldn't even go to court.
I'd just say, okay, we're done. Here's the money.
Come on. It's sad. I'd feel worse for the guy if he didn't go back on Larry King and Barbara Walters and try to act like it was normal.
Yeah, but he's got to try to get his job back. You think he will?
No. He'll probably end up on... you can't listen. I'm a sports fan.
I think I speak for all sports fans when I say we can't listen to a game and have more of... you know, right?
I'd say...
We'll be right back with Dennis and Larry here later.
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Welcome back to Later. I'm Cindy Crawford and we're talking with Dennis Lerre, who's smoking.
That's pretty funny.
Yes. You have this exciting new movie coming out that I know we want to talk about.
Oh yeah.
With some like serious.
Wag the Dog.
Yeah.
Right, yeah. Wag the Dog comes out the day after Christmas.
Right.
And it's me and a couple of guys named.
You might have heard of them before.
One's named De Niro.
Yeah, like.
And one's named Hoffman.
And Anne Hays is in it. It's a huge cast. Woody Harrelson, Willie Nelson, Bill Macy, and I'm forgetting people. Kirsten Dunst, a bunch of people.
Oh wow.
Yeah.
So, I mean, was that amazing working with people like at that level?
Well, again, it was a comedy. So it was a lot of fun. And Dustin Hoffman played, he's kind of the central comic guy in the movie.
And he plays this egomaniacal producer. And he's really funny. And so that was like the ref. It was a lot of like, a lot of times waiting for the cut so you could start laughing.
Did you guys improv and stuff like that?
Yeah, it was quite a bit of improving and just general screwing around on the set, you know.
You also have a production company called Apostle Pictures.
Yes.
Any upcoming projects we'll want to look for?
Well, actually, I'm just using your lamp as a, I mean your table as a.
I'm just a temporary host here.
Should I use the flowers or?
You could use your pollinated.
Your pollinated water.
That's new later.
All signed by Cindy Crawford. What was the question?
New stuff from your production company.
I just finished a movie with Ted Demme, the guy who directed the ref, that doesn't have a title yet, that my company and his company co-produced with Bob DeNiro's company.
That will probably be out, it's going to be probably at Sundance and then it will be out in the spring with another big cast, Martin Sheen, Fonka Jansen, the Golden Eye Girl.
She was also a model before that.
She was a model before that, is that true?
Yes, I was a model.
I was a model, you know that.
I did know that. You were also a thong underwear model.
That's right, I was a thong. I was a thong nostril hair model for a long time.
Anyway, well, good luck with everything.
Thanks.
Thank you so much.
Good to see you again.
That's it for our show tonight. Be sure to check out Wag the Dog, opening December 26.
And Buy, Lock and Load.
I'm Cindy Crawford and I'll catch you later.