The last door decides the taxes, Mr. President.
The United States government just has to save the world.
Prepare to fight like there's no tomorrow.
You think we'll get hazard pay out of this?
Bruce Willis, Liv Tyler, Ben Affleck.
Armageddon, tomorrow at 6.30, only on FX.
The final encore of it is Lucky.
All new episode Tuesday at 10, only on FX.
Taste the unexpected, Captain Morgan Original Spiced Rum.
I am a soldier.
An army of one.
Even though I'm a part of the strongest army in the world, I am my own force.
And when it comes to me and my team, every link in the chain is strong.
I am Sergeant First Class Brian Burkett.
And you can see my strength.
The first major advance for the fastest treatment of athlete's foot is Lamacil-AT.
Lamacil-AT is the first non-prescription medicine proven to kill the fungus with just one week's use.
Not even a prescription can beat that.
Motrum and AF in Tanak and still expect you to treat for four weeks.
Who's going to do that?
When your feet itch and burn, using Lamacil-AT one week keeps you athlete's foot free three months.
Lamacil-AT. There's no better way to cure athlete's foot.
The touch, the feel, the fabric of our lives.
Jim Brewer here. I'm going to show you how the new Right Guard Extreme Power Caps work.
Power caps are little balls of extra odor fighters.
Let's say these guys represent odor.
And the balls my friend Randy Johnson has here represent the power caps.
Power caps destroy odors on contact.
Get extreme, get Right Guard.
You do not want to be odor right now.
Nature fanatic. Health nut.
Grape nut eaters have been called many things.
Fortunately, they haven't heard a word of it.
The unique nutty crunch and delicious taste of grape nuts.
Live life your own way.
Best way to clean teeth? The dentist. What do thousands use?
Same thing Arm and Hammer Complete Care does. Dental baking soda.
Deep clean stains regular toothpaste can't reach.
Cleans, whitens, freshens. Try new complete care.
Your whole mouth will feel fresh from the dentist clean.
I'm Curz McCarpenter from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and I play the role of Cordelia.
That nasty mean person. Bitch.
Lovely but superficial girl who did not have any real depth of emotion.
I know you would think so, but I'm both a winter and a summer.
They felt that I would be best suited for the role of Cordelia.
I guess they just saw all of that shallowness and said, you're the one.
I'd be there for you myself if I didn't have a leg wax.
She's not afraid to say what she thinks.
She says things always at the worst possible moment.
She kind of lived life flipping play.
Cordelia, have you actually ever heard of tact?
Tact is just not saying true stuff.
I was really kind of, you know, not happy about the references that I'd made about like this dick shift and having sex in the car and stuff.
And I'm like, look, is Cordelia loose?
Friendly was my answer.
Stereotypes are so unfair.
This BuffyBite brought to you by Oreo.
Off our regular phone line, it was too expensive and we were trying to save for a wedding using DSL and Vonage.
We save about one hundred and sixty dollars a month on our phone bill.
I called my mother and asked her if she could tell that I was on a different type of phone, but she couldn't.
The call clarity is very good, very clear.
I'm Melanie reviews and I'm a very happy Vonage customer.
Call one Vonage help for unlimited local calls plus 500 long distance minutes to the U.S. and Canada for 25.99 per month.
Vonage, broadband phone company. DSL or cable motor required.
Ready to do something about your hearing loss? Call Hearing Planet today.
You'll find all the latest name brand hearing aids up to 50 percent below retail prices.
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See, the misconception is that bad is bad. In order to lose fat, you shouldn't eat bad.
How do you feel about the hearing aid runners for use while we're docked at one of our upcoming courts?
Do you have a feeling that we were really underdressed last night?
I don't think that there is anyone that could possibly understand what we were dealing with.
44 minutes, the North Hollywood Shootout premieres Sunday, June 1st at 8 only on FX.
My name is Master Chief Billy Sunday. And I am God.
Academy Award winners Robert De Niro and Cuba Gooding Jr.
Reporting for Diving School.
Based on the true story of determination.
I got a man down down there.
Men of Honor, a World Broadcast premiere Tuesday at 730 followed by an all new lucky on FX.
Taste the unexpected. Captain Morgan Original Spiced Rum.
It's Sonic's 50th birthday and you're invited to enjoy a made to order Sonic Burger.
Always made how you like it after you order it with all the fresh ingredients.
And top it off with Sonic's birthday cake shake.
A deal for only $2.99 from the place you've loved for generations.
Designed by amateurs. Built by volunteers.
Piloted by the incredibly brave Red Bull Flugtag.
To enter your human powered flying machine visit Red Bull Flugtag USA.com.
Can you hear me now? Good.
Got some time on your hands?
With Verizon Wireless you can download the most advanced games on the nation's best wireless network.
Can you hear me now? Good.
Verizon Wireless. We never stop working for you.
If manufacturers could get that they could cut it to be a size 12 but they should just put a size 6 label on it.
They'd sell so many more.
Alright where is this bus? I cannot believe I missed the bus.
I'm not stopping at the donut shop anymore.
I mean that's ridiculous. I'll go straight to the bakery.
They're open here. Oh hi Mr. Man with the buns and the perfect calves.
I could have calves like that. I have a treadmill. Somewhere.
Sweet strawberries, crunchy flakes, just 110 calories.
Special K. Red Berries. Help yourself.
Introducing Intel Centrino Mobile Technology.
The new wireless laptop technology designed to help you untangle, unburden and unwire your life.
This Memorial Day Jim Carrey is Bruce Almighty.
I swear my boobs are bigger.
Rated PG-13 at theaters Friday.
Playing this month on Dish on Demand Pay Per View.
If something's gonna happen it needs to happen now.
What are you doing with your life that's so great?
Eight Mile.
Daddy how I look like a damn smitten boy?
Ain't your booty, it's your beauty.
Friday After Next.
Welcome to Jackass.
Jackass the Movie.
Take a break from routine TV.
Order a Pay Per View movie from Dish on Demand.
From out of the darkness a glowing light emerges searching to find an answer.
A spark of hope in a sea of despair fighting to engulf approaching shadows.
As the fire is instilled to burn all it opposes a judgment looms in the balance.
Who is next to extinguish the flame and ignite the next spirit to blaze?
WWE Judgment Day.
May 18th on Dish on Demand Pay Per View.
Television's ultimate suspense thriller.
I heard you're supporting a rogue agent against division orders.
Is about to take the biggest turn of the entire year.
Try to shoot me, I will have to shoot you back and I promise I won't miss.
Drop the gun.
Only two hours left.
The 24 Encore.
The final truth.
Monday at 11 on FX.
Are you a doctor?
Plastic surgeon.
This is you.
This is what you look like when I'm down.
You seen that girl baby?
That's my dad.
Tell me what you don't like about yourself.
My brother would like a new nose.
I'm gonna have my eyes pressure up a bit.
No jawline.
I'm a surgeon.
If I get emotional patients die.
This is the best series ladies.
Don't let five for four hours.
This is a business Sean.
A very good business that is on the verge of setting us up for life.
Maybe I don't want to be in this business anymore.
I've been gentle with you my friend, I'm gonna ask you one more time.
I think we should hire a full-time psychologist to scream better.
Hip Tuck coming this summer to FX.
Party starts at 21.
Captain's orders.
There's only one VTX 1800.
The biggest, baddest, most powerful V-twin you can ride.
Built from the ground up to be unique with a full line of accessories.
So you can customize the VTX as extreme as you want to be.
And now we'll start you off with a thousand dollars of Honda genuine accessories.
To turn our VTX into your VTX.
Start building the ultimate VTX now at your Honda dealer.
Self-denial is total for Chef Jimmy of Quiznos.
Hello?
You don't know me but I hear you're hot.
Is this about the peppers?
Peppers.
Until his search for the perfect peppers leads to the triumph of the ultimate spicy sub.
Everything else must be put on hold.
The Spicy Monterey Club with Chef Jimmy's 3 Pepper Chili Sauce.
Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm. Toasty.
We make a lot of cereal here.
You know what our favorite is?
I'm not even watching my phone.
We can't keep it to ourselves.
This is one of the best tasting cereals I've ever had.
Hey, how about some Honey Bunches of Bolts?
Wow.
Thanks. I like the honey oak flavor.
Nice.
We just can't make enough of it.
Sure, you can have more closest.
Hey, grab another bolt.
Everybody loves this stuff.
We gotta feed America.
Honey Bunches of Bolts with strawberries.
Try it today.
The mortgage application with 80% less paperwork from Bank of America.
Short enough to do anytime.
I'm thirsty.
Bank of America, higher standards.
Now on DVD, Finding the Truth.
This is the end of the road?
Could mean the end for Mulder and Scully.
I'm pregnant.
The X-Files.
Mulder?
On season seven on DVD today.
Just relax.
Try to think of something simple like making a collect call.
By donning down the center with 1-800-C-A-L-L-A-T-T.
It's free for you and cheap for them.
Okay, my turn.
Save on every call.
Now 1-800-C-A-L-A-T-T for collect calls.
I'm okay.
54321, the nightly show that brings you inside the world of extreme sports.
University of Phoenix online.
Call 800-545-6043.
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Well, bypass the old ballpark.
Zero to malfunction structural.
Okay.
Lucky is a hit.
And the critics are raving.
It's a slice of genius.
Drop to the floor, hilarious.
Let's throw a little party.
You're gonna mess something up now.
An original series that is truly original.
I'm lucky.
I doubt it.
One of the funniest shows on TV.
Coolly addictive.
A daring and darkly humorous show.
Relax.
He's a pro.
Don't miss John Corbett in the role of his career.
Lucky.
All new episodes every Tuesday night at 10.
Only on FX.
Taste the unexpected.
Introducing Intel Centrino Mobile Technology.
The new wireless laptop technology designed to help you untangle, unburden and unwire your life.
Hello?
Honey?
Oh, hi.
Could you bring home some of your freshest deli meat like you did last time?
Okay.
You know, sliced ultra-thin.
Some turkey, roast beef and honey ham.
Yes, dear.
Okay, bye.
New Deli Select Ultra-Thin Meats from Hillshire Farm.
Double sealed and gladware for freshness.
For that great deli taste without the deli.
It's the thinnest deli select ever.
Mmm.
It's so thin.
How do you do it?
Ultra-thin.
Ultra-fresh.
Ultra-delicious.
New Deli Select Ultra-Thin Meats.
Hey, I was just thinking.
Have you ever seen a really overweight squirrel?
Oh, I don't think so.
Yeah, me neither.
I think you'd see a big one.
Nuts are so fatty.