We will return to Porky's after this.
Hi, this is Al B. Shore.
Let me rescue you.
Here's my exclusive number so that you can follow me along the Heartbreak Tour and beyond
by dialing 1-900-909-SHORE.
That's 1-900-909-SURE.
This number is especially for you.
So dial now and find out what the hot and the hotline is all about.
$2 for the first minute, 45 cents for each additional minute.
Shoot some slices, shoot some threads, shoot some salad, salad, salad shooter.
Presto Salad Shooter. Slicer, shredder. Point and shoot right where you want it.
To clean, just rinse and wipe. Store anywhere.
Shoot some salad, salad, salad, salad shooter.
From Presto.
Shoot some threads, shoot some threads, shoot some threads, shoot some threads, shoot some threads.
Hello, I'm Linda Evans.
When you see an ad asking you to help people who are sick and hungry,
do you ever wonder where your contribution really goes?
A Save the Children sponsor knows.
The part that I like best about Save the Children is the fact that
while you're sponsoring an individual child, the program is geared to benefit the community.
It costs so little to do so much good.
It gave, I think, both of us a feeling that we were doing something for somebody very specific.
Call this number now and see how satisfying it is to be a Save the Children sponsor.
I think anybody that can do it should do it.
It feels really good.
Deep down inside to be a sponsor.
If you want to make a significant difference in a child's life, this is the way.
Experience the joy of sponsoring a child.
Call 1-800-468-2600. That's 1-800-468-2600.
Learn Poole from the best.
Never before have these 16 world champion players been gathered at one time to teach you the art of Poole.
Learn all the shots from the best players in the world.
Breaks, banks, defense, positions, angles, even the masse.
16 Poole Wizards let you in on their brand of magic.
World champion top ranked players like number one in the world, Mike Siegel.
Jimmy, King James Rempey, Laurie, John Jones, pretty boy Floyd Mataya, Ava Mataya, and the rest of the best.
The most amazing video on Poole ever available.
You'll learn to shoot like the pros.
A once in a lifetime chance to find out what the champs have known for years.
Play Poole like you've never played before.
To order your video of Learn from the Best, call 1-800-543-7100. That's 1-800-543-7100.
Or send 2495 plus $3 shipping and handling to Learn from the Best, PO Box 5413, New York, New York, 101-85-0044.
Visa, MasterCard, and American Express accepted.
Order now. Call 1-800-543-7100.
We now continue with Porky's.
This USA presentation of Porky's contains mature subject matter. Viewer discretion is advised.
We will return to Porky's after this.
There's a different kind of paper towel.
Two layers thick, Coronet Sparkle.
It's absorbent and it leaves virtually no lint on time, no lint on food, no lint on windows or mirrors.
When you use Sparkle, you end up with something extraordinary.
Something clean. Sparkle, all it leaves is clean.
Here you're cooking, that's Crisco's place.
Here you're eating, there's no oily taste.
Here it is, here it isn't.
Here's Crisco cooking up fries.
And because most of it comes back, there's no oily taste.
Here it isn't, no oily taste.
It's true, so your cooking comes through.
Here it is, mmm.
Here it is, here it is.
The new Remington Electroblade vibrating blade system has been an amazing success for those who prefer shaving with a blade.
Electroblade's high speed motor and vibrating twin blades glide so easily, you'll get the closest, smoothest, most comfortable blade shave you've ever imagined.
If you don't, I'll give you your money back.
Safe, immersible and cordless, the new Lady Remington Electroblade vibrating blade system.
A blade shave like you've never imagined or your money back.
If you have a cold and take Sudafed, there's something you should know.
Answer!
Contact 12-hour caplet stop the sneezing and runny nose that Sudafed can't.
Isn't I?
Until there's a cure, there's contact.
What's the hottest gift for men this year?
The minute I saw it, it was like, this is perfect for Steve.
My brother's gonna freak when he sees I got it for him.
It's a hilarious video cassette, the very best of the football follies, 44 minutes of some of the all-time craziest football bloopers ever.
He can watch that kind of stuff over and over again. The bloopers, the fumbles, he really likes it.
And best of all, you get it free with your paid subscription to Sports Illustrated.
Call their toll-free Christmas hotline now and get 55 issues of SI at a low Christmas sale price, over 55% off the cover price.
Easiest Christmas shopping I've ever done.
Your gift includes exclusive previews and exciting issues, like a 25th anniversary swimsuit issue.
I'd love to get SI this Christmas and I hope my girlfriend Kelly is watching. It's the perfect gift for any man.
There's even a card for Under the Tree, all for just 99 cents per issue.
You won't be billed till next year and get the videotape free. Call 1-800-221-6300.
He won't see this, Willie. Oh, no! Well, honey, Merry Christmas!
We now continue with Porky's.
Now, Mr. Carter.
We will return to Porky's after this.
Woo-hoo!
I'm going to the canteen because it's not just your style.
It's your hair.
Saturday, everybody hired me to walk their dog.
Mom didn't want me to skip lunch, so she made me a sandwich and some great orida microwave fries in no time.
I know if they don't want to keep my customers waiting.
That's sweet.
If you love cheese, but not cholesterol, here's a natural cheese that's low in cholesterol, light naturals from Kraft.
Now you can have your cheese and eat it, too.
Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard. Pick up a copy today wherever paperbacks are sold.
New drills, new cheeseels. The all-new Alfred Hitchcock Presents Saturday.
Learn pool from the best. Never before have these 16 world champion players been gathered at one time to teach you the art of pool.
Learn all the shots from the best players in the world.
Breaks, banks, defense, positions, angles, even the masse.
16 pool wizards let you in on their brand of magic.
World champion top-ranked players like number one in the world, Mike Siegel.
Jimmy, King James Rempey, Lori, John Jones, pretty boy Floyd Mataya, Ava Mataya, and the rest of the best.
The most amazing video on pool ever available.
You'll learn to shoot like the pros.
A once-in-a-lifetime chance to find out what the champs have known for years. Play pool like you've never played before.
To order your video of Learn from the Best, call 1-800-543-7100. That's 1-800-543-7100.
Or send 2495 plus $3 shipping and handling to Learn from the Best, P.O. Box 5413, New York, New York, 101-85-0044.
Visa, MasterCard, and American Express accepted. Order now. Call 1-800-543-7100.
We now return to Porky's.
The USA's special presentation, Porky's, will return after these messages.
Timex, it takes a licking and keeps on ticking.
Today there's a diet pill that can help you lose weight without being hungry and without caffeine to make you nervous.
I lose weight because I'm not hungry and Dexatrum is caffeine free so I don't feel nervous or jittery.
Dexatrum's amazing. I lost weight without being hungry and that never happened before.
Just one caffeine free Dexatrum works all day, morning through bedtime, to control your appetite and help you lose weight.
The pounds came off and I feel great.
You can lose weight, feel great, with today's caffeine free Dexatrum.
For every man who wears brood, there's a woman who loves what he smells like.
Because there's something about brood that's nice to be close to and nobody knows that better than a woman.
Hello? Honey, I was just thinking about you.
Brood, it smells like a man.
This holiday season, give him the gift you'll love being close to, the great smell of brood.
Mama keeps red, red like a wagon. Mama keeps green, green like a dragon.
Mama keeps white, bright like a wish come true. Mama's got the magic of Clorox 2.
Clorox 2 color safe bleach helps clothes look newer longer. Cleaners and brighteners keep colors in whites clean, bright and pretty.
Mama keeps me looking like I'm brand new. Mama's got the magic, mama's got the magic of Clorox 2.
Powder and liquid. A cheese riddle.
Excuse me, Giorgio, what do you get when you add mozzarella to an ordinary tomato?
Bravo! Something to sing about. That's right, cheese makes it taste better. So don't forget the cheese.
If it doesn't say presto, it can't do the magic. Presto Fry Daddy Deep Fryer.
No controls to set, no guessing, perfect frying temperature. Cups of oil, not quarts.
A handy scoop, not a drippy basket. Stores oil to use again. Frying magic from Presto.
Okay, here comes your night to remember!
USA is throwing a month-long party.
We've got something you'll all want to see.
In December, every Friday night is Porky's Night.
I sat through every disgusting frame of this bill. Twice.
Ham it up with Porky's 2 the next day. A USA special presentation next Friday at 9, 8 Central.
Now, the conclusion of Porky's.
You check that car out?