I was sitting like real kind of close, it was kind of a small little room, and I said,
you know, I love you so much, and my heart stopped, and I said, oh, that's nice, and
he said, you want to know how much I love you?
And I went, oh, okay.
He said, I love you all the way from here to the wall.
And I looked behind me, the wall was right there, and he said, no, no, no, not that wall,
the other one.
Has he shown any interest in the opposite sex at school?
Yes, he told me he was going to get married the other day.
Ah, good.
But that's just like me.
Didn't you fall in love at five?
Oh, immediately.
I was desperately in love at five, and then hated in the next day, and loved in the next
day, and hated.
Well, this is, he talked to me about how he was going to get married, he found a girl.
How did you handle it?
Well, I don't think you can laugh at that.
And he said, yes, I found a girl, and I think she's, I'm going to marry her, and probably
have children.
And I said, oh, that's wonderful showing you make a wonderful father and husband.
He said, yep, just like that, Dad.
And I said, yeah.
I said, who is it?
He said, it's Heidi.
And I said, oh, well, I understand that.
She's very, very pretty, and she's most pleasant.
And he said, not to me.
That's why you're going to marry her, right?
I tell you, and I don't raise him that way.
I'm a very available, open person.
He's going to be one of those guys that chase all those girls and go, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh.
I can't stand it.
I never did that.
No?
I mean, I've slobbered over men.
I mean, you know, I was this tall when I was, what, six or seven.
I mean, you get, you know, you take-
They go home at night with their hair all wet?
Yeah, you take what you can get.
And my favorite story about me at that age was with a guy named Keith Basso.
Do I have time?
Sure, sure.
Keith Basso, and it's a very sweet story about my mother because she didn't laugh either.
And we were at Campo Beach in Connecticut, and I loved Keith, hated Keith, loved Keith,
hated Keith.
My mother would drive him, yes, oh, oh, whatever it was I was feeling she'd feel with me.
And one day I went down to the, to the, to the sound and Keith at the picnic, school
picnic and he came up and he said, Mariette, and I said, yes, Keith.
And he said, would you carry this for me?
And I looked down and there was a dead fish.
And I said, oh, Keith, could I?
All day long I carried Keith's dead fish and I, oh, isn't that a sad story?
He's still rotten.
I, I talked to him about it.
You still walk around a dead fish, right?
I think so, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Or there's a white woman.
My mother never laughed at that.
Yeah, it was very nice.
Let's show a clip from Improper Channels.
Isn't that a strange name?
Yeah, Improper Channels.
It used to be called Proper Channels and they thought that would change the whole thing.
Improper Channels, some television set that shows bad movies.
Yeah, it's funny, isn't it?
That's an Improper Channel.
Well, that's not what it's all about.
It's about proper channels.
Right.
This is for movie houses, not television.
Yeah, it's going to be out the 20th of March.
He's wonderful.
And it's with Alan Arkin, who's a pure delight.
And he had a great deal to do with writing and he and his son, they're very talented.
He did the strangest thing.
Oh, he's strange.
On this show, he said the strangest thing, but absolutely true.
When we introduce a performer on a talk show, the performer sings right there.
We don't look at the performer singing there because the audience sees the face and we
usually see the rear end.
So we all look up at the set like this, see?
And we watch the performer perform.
His observation was that on one of these talk shows, there could be a murder right over
here and we'd all go...
Oh, yeah.
We'd all go...
We'll watch it on the set, not in real life.
It is true, isn't it?
Yeah.
What's the scene we're going to see?
I'm not really good at setting it up, but the couple is a married couple who are in
the process of a divorce.
And they're very attached to their little girl.
And this is a comedy, by the way, it doesn't sound like it so far.
And he comes back to take his daughter to go to have a hamburger.
Anyway, in the process of all of that, they get into an automobile accident.
She hurts her eye.
They end up in the emergency ward.
He's accused of childbeating by an overzealous social worker and she's taken away from both
people.
They have no idea where she is.
Orphanage, they have no idea.
So the rest of the film is trying, knocking down doors, trying, you know, and how you
hit one employment agency, one social...
I mean, it just gets to be awful.
And this is a scene between you and Alan.
This is a scene between the two of us.
It's finally a little bit quiet.
I think everything's at least finished.
There's no more I'm going to hear.
Nothing more, no more bad news.
Everything is kind of finished.
We haven't found our daughter yet.
We probably will.
And then this, he springs this on me.
All right.
Marriott Hartley, Alan Arkin, a scene from Improper Channel's watch.
I was arrested once for indecent exposure.
I was caught by the police hanging naked from a flagpole in my freshman year in college.
One of the guys from the fraternity made me take my clothes off and climb the pole and
recite the Gettysburg Address from memory.
And around that time, the girls' choir was coming out of the chapel where they'd been
practicing.
And I got caught in the rope halfway down and I tried to extricate myself.
I caught my ankle and I started swinging backwards.
I started screaming.
The girls started screaming.
There was a lot of screaming going on.
And the dean came by and didn't like it.
So he arrested six of the guys from our house for creating a mess.
Oh, I guess a lot of those girls were virgins.
Oh, my God.
I actually got some street going.
Oh, God.
No, no.
Oh, my God.
Why is it tougher living with that than living with you?
I can't believe that story.
Was it wintertime?
That's nice singing, Marianne Hartley.
In that scene, you did the two toughest things to do in acting.
One of them is to listen and react while he did all that stuff.
And the second one is to laugh, right?
And to keep laughing.
We did that seven or eight or nine times.
But he's a wonderful actor to work with and each time was fresh.
We'll take a break and come back.
Marianne Hartley.
Thank you.
Glenn Ford is not only an actor, he's a retired Navy captain who served for 25 years,
including service in the Pacific in World War II and two tours of duty in Vietnam.
Here with an important announcement for all veterans is Captain Glenn Ford.
I'm happy to announce a major increase in benefits in Academy Life's Veterans Group Health Plan.
For the first time, this plan can pay up to $75 a day.
Every day, you or a covered member of your family is hospitalized.
Up to a full year, that's $2,250 a month.
All benefits are paid directly to you on top of any other insurance or Medicare benefits you receive.
And they're not subject to income tax, according to the IRS.
No, you collect full benefits from the very first day of hospitalization.
Even if you stay in a VAA or a government hospital, most important, because you're a veteran,
you get all of these benefits at group rates with no medical exam and you can't be turned down for any reason whatsoever.
Oh, oh, I know, you'll see other plans advertised for veterans.
They are not the same as the Veterans Group Health Plan from Academy Life.
We'd like to mail you this free information kit telling you about the benefits and limitations of this plan.
But don't put it off, huh?
This year, nearly one out of every two families will have at least one member hospitalized.
Now here's how to get your free kit.
Call toll free 1-800-228-5100.
That's 1-800-228-5100.
The information kit that Mr. Ford spoke of will be mailed to you free with no obligation.
That telephone number again is 1-800-228-5100.
1-800-228-5100.
Operators are on duty.
This is a free call.
TV's Top Talker wandered into town the other day and we will not let her leave without making time for the show.
In her busy schedule of hairdresser appointments, ladies luncheons, general grandmotherly concern,
here's a woman with a lot to say and I don't want to hold her up for a minute.
Here's Virginia Graham.
Why didn't you wear some blue?
They were out of it. Listen, I have to ask you a question. In that scene where he is hanging, was it winter?
That was my last line. They cut it.
That's what you call frozen assets.
Did you notice that I limp?
No.
Did you notice?
We have something new.
Thank you, girls.
You've been playing touch football again.
No, I won't tell you what happened because someone made such a vicious remark.
I was in Pueblo, Colorado and have you ever had a fan?
Grabbed you by the leg?
No, worse. She was the richest woman in town so she got to meet me at the airport.
See, if it had been a Volkswagen, I would never have been killed.
But she's got a mark for it and she says,
At last I've got to meet you. Bang!
Closes the door on my dick.
On your whole hip?
Well, it's not in two parts.
I don't mean your whole hip.
What do you think, it's subdivided?
I haven't asked from such a door closing, would have lived in Europe for two years from the lawsuit.
You're not suing?
No, I didn't know. I just thought, you know, someone said maybe you're getting arthritis.
I love that word, it's so youthful.
It's wonderful that you get a cane.
So I said, nothing tight shoes, you know.
Do you like my voice too?
What a headline that would have made if you'd have gone to court.
Hip hooray? Yes.
Woman slams door on Graham's hip.
Well, that would have to have two papers.
A fold out.
So I am now, they told me, too young for surgery.
You know that that is such a compliment on limping?
I got acupuncture, the doctor looks marvelous.
Yeah.
Nothing.
Went out in such agony.
He looks terrific from putting the needles in.
My x-ray pictures are my new Christmas cards.
They are, you never saw such a stunning...
But would you limp for the rest of your life?
Well, I don't plan to die tomorrow, so I think for the rest of my life I...
It's rap as chic.
Do you want to see something funny folk?
Yeah.
Alright.
I can dance.
What?
What are you doing, boys?
What do you got?
Hello, Jack, darling.
Oh, you lost a person.
Oh, you look terrific.
Alright, listen.
He must be sitting down.
Well, he certainly is, but he's sitting on the other person.
Listen.
And Jack, and Stan.
Bye.
Now walk.
When I worked at Las Vegas, dear, this was more music than I used.
Now watch this.
I can't walk.
Isn't that the most materialistic thing?
Well, you should learn Latin dances, because they're kind of lifting...
Is this a chair?
Yeah.
We'll come back with Virginia Graham.
I'll straighten her out.
Getting ready for a big holiday meal sometimes requires a lot of help.
And chances are there's quite a bit of willing help right there at home.
But when it comes to the ingredients of your holiday feast, your neighborhood Thrift Quality
Food Store can be a big help.
At Thrift, we can supply everything you'll need, from the mouth-watering main course to
the traditional holiday desserts.
Preparing your holiday meal is a special event.
Thrift just wants to make sure the ingredients measure up to the occasion.
Hi, I'm Gary Randall.
I'd like to spend a few minutes with you every morning.
Among my guests this next month will be Dr. James Dobson, America's foremost Christian
authority on the family.
He'll be talking to you as an individual.
Millions of American women have been asking, who am I?
And who should I be?
And who cares?
He'll also be talking to you as a family.
Be sure to join me.
The Gary Randall program is seen on this station weekday mornings at 630.
When you remodel your home, ask your construction company for references and see if they measure
up to these for R&R construction.
Every R&R construction job shows quality, quality in materials, and quality in craftsmanship.
At R&R construction, that's the only way we do a job, and we've been doing them that
way for over 22 years.
References that speak for themselves from R&R Construction Company, 601 South 1st Street.
It's the 17th Annual Yakima Shrine Patrol Antique Collector's Show at the Masonic Temple this
Saturday and Sunday, March 7th and 8th.
See and buy fine collectibles including guns, edged weapons, cartridges, crystal, glassware,
and coins, Saturday from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. and Sunday from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m.
It's your opportunity to buy, sell, and trade collectibles at the 17th Annual Yakima Shrine
Patrol Antique Collector's Show this Saturday and Sunday at the Masonic Temple, 510 North
Natchez Avenue.
Come on, Virginia, I've got to catch up on your life.
All right, now first let me tell you about-
What is your label now?
Are you a single-
First before that, I've got to tell you about-
What?
You were telling me during the commercial about this marvelous acupuncture band.
Sure.
Now, when I was in Cockeysville, Maryland, you should excuse the expression, this is where
I played.
Mm-hmm.
Do you believe it?
I believe it.
What are you getting, huh?
Cockeysville next to Dickiesville, my word of honor.
Really?
It's a wonderful town in Maryland.
So while I'm there, they send me to Dr. Bang Bang Wong, an acupunctureist.
Who should be in Cockeysville?
So I immediately am so used to undressing for the dentist that I start to undress, you see.
I've been in stirrups more than Princess Anne, so-
You undress for the dentist?
Anyone, any doctor.
Is there a doctor in the house?
Yes.
So now I'm undressing for the acupuncture and the wife comes in, no, no, no, no.
No, you know, the Chinese never undress, you know, in front of a doctor, Mary Ann.
They point to where it hurts.
Three men had a vasectomy that went with their wives.
They put their books in the wrong place.
So now, now I am sitting there and I can't point where it hurts because it's a small
figure.
So I said, well, it's here, it's here.
So I get undressed and as he walks in, he sees my buttocks in all its glory and he says,
no, no, one person at a time.
One person at a time.
The first time I ever went to one, I don't even remember his name, it was about eight
years ago and they were illegal.
And so you had to go into a place, an old building, it said herbologist.
Oh, yes.
It was like going, I'm sure, in the old days for an abortion.
No, a circumcision.
What do you put there?
Yankie clipper.
Anyway, so I walked in and he said, what's the matter?
I said, I have tennis elbow and he went over to the big picture of a naked man.
He said, well, we'll put the needle right there.
He said, this picture, 2000 years.
I said, well, they didn't have tennis elbow 2000.
He said, oh, that's a good one.
He said, hey, you know, Zsa Zsa?
I said, I know Zsa Zsa Gabor.
He said, she come here.
I said, what's her, she got a bad problem?
He said, her back.
I said, well, maybe she's carrying too much in the front.
He said, oh, that's another good one.
Oh, that's a good one.
That's why they never age.
But the tennis elbow went away.
Well, good to hear.
I was Zsa Zsa.
She was limping the other day.
They said, Marietta, I also was the tallest girl in school.
And at our senior prom, my father said, Bessie, for God's sake, get her off the floor.
She's dancing alone.
And when they turned me around, there was this little cutie cure reject, you know,
with the dimples pushing me around the floor.
And you know what's so terrible with men that perspire?
Men that perspire and wipe your hand.
No, they wipe your hand as if you're the one that did it.
And if you have anything hanging over the back, which I love, you never have had it
because you don't have it anywhere.
I don't have anything hanging over the front either.
And they say to me, are you leaving me or coming to me?
Here.
Petitie, what is your label today?
I've had a hard life.
Do we introduce you as a single girl, a widow?
Well, I am widowed, as you know, Merv, and that was a very great tragedy in my life.
I know, I know.
But Harry had been very ill.
We all loved Harry.
He was very special.
And you know the one thing about being married a long time, Marietta,
which I hope you will, is your husband's name, Patrick?
Yes.
That's a real French name.
Is that, is he French?
Patrick.
Oh, Patrick.
No, no, he had a snobby grandmother that hated all those funny French names like Francois,
and Gilles, and all that.
And he said, no, name him Patrick.
That's right.
He can always get his own restaurant here.
So, anyhow, with, when you're married 45 years to one man, you never age.
They get double cataracts, which you never allow them to remove.
Right.
And they think you look marvelous and you always are the best there.
And they get sent out, and it's wonderful.
Sure, well, you're wiser doing that to them.
But now that I am lovingly known as single, I have, was what is known as an aggressive woman.
Now, when Harry and I got married, we both had a bad back, but he mentioned it first.
Right.
So, for 45 years I slept.
Oh, I drove the car.
I carried the luggage.
I would carry the tray with the glasses, but he was very considerate.
He would always say, watch the stairs.
Right.
Watch the stairs.
And don't trip while you're carrying that 500 pound lamp.
You know.
So, I.
You've been there when you got into the car.
This is what you call a post-marital lip that I've got.
I can't believe I'm not carrying packages.
So, now my friends tell me that I, they feel it's going to be difficult for me to get a man.
Well, first of all it is because anybody that sees me with anything walking says is that Harry.