Hey, don't mention it. Can you believe this? How can they not realize that Clark Kent is Superman? These people are reporters. What's going on tomorrow? Oh, I think I was supposed to go out with that girl Dora. The dancer? Unbelievable legs. Ouch! Very muscular. What do you got to happen? Got a sister too. Stop it. Honey, is honey the best? Man, it's like a work whistle. Very easy to make fun, isn't it? Let me tell you something. Someday, you are going to hear a voice just like that. And amazingly enough, you are going to say, In a second, sweetie. And you two will shove your best friend out the door. And go to bed. You sure you don't want to do something? You sure you don't want to do something? Thursday, a family crisis. You're putting your life in danger being anywhere near that kid. We're talking about my son. About to reach... Tragic proportions. Must see TV. NYPD Blue. Thursday on 10. It's hard to know what triggers a sinus attack. But the effects of sinusitis are no secret. Constant pressure and pain with aches and nasal congestion. But now from Panadol comes Panadol sinus. Specially formulated with a decongestant to clear the sinuses and nose. And the proven relief of Panadol to ease aches and sinus pain. Remember, use only as directed. And see your doctor if pain persists. Panadol sinus. It's a relief. Mmm, Tic Tac. So fresh it will take your breath away. And thanks to Tic Tac, Qantas and Creative Tours. This week's winner is Philip Ruston of Newton, South Australia. Congratulations, Philip. Mmm, that's something to smile about. There's still four Tic Tac trips to Thailand to be won. So if you'd like to be one of our lucky winners, just pick up a pack of Tic Tac and enter now. There's a winner every week. Then watch Mad About You to see if you've won. Thanks to Qantas, Creative Tours and Tic Tac. The tests, the operations, the physio. Dr. Dennis, the board meeting. I could deal with the physical pain. It was the financial pain that got me. Selling my car to pay the bills. It hurt. It's all right, really. The legs are fine, but I ain't going anywhere. Wow, what a week. You bet. Now, what will we do first? I thought we might... Oh no, sorry. Oh yeah, forget it. I'll put that down. Now let's do something completely different. You can trust Carefree's body-contoured tampon to give you the confidence to do whatever you want. Whatever that may be. Oh yeah, stop, stop, stop, stop. There we go. What a woman. It's hard to know what triggers a sinus attack, but there is an effective way to relieve sinus symptoms. Panadol sinus. With a decongestant and the proven relief of Panadol to ease the pain. Panadol sinus. It's a relief. I love chest hair. Hey, what you have there is plenty good. We're both having the same pain. I think my sister knew. Yeah, I think Shelby knew. Oh. I told him. No guy does that without telling somebody. I guess we haven't lost the magic, huh? I don't know what I mean. See, now I'm afraid you might be out of things to worry about. I love you. I love you more. Are you having Thanksgiving with your parents or mine? I thought I'd just come visit you at the institution. G'day, this is Dan Clarece from PMFM. Join us at the exclusive I'm Miss Melrose party at the Claremont Continental Hotel. We'll feast on twisties and we'll shout to a shooter. So keep it locked on PMFM and get ready for the return of Melrose Place on 10. It's fun. This program proudly brought to you by IBM. His partner has been taken hostage. Nobody lives forever. His girlfriend has been taken out. Just not once for yes and die for no. It's a mission. Don't even breathe unless you want to die. That's getting personal. Fortune Hunter Thursday. Tonight's 10 evening news update is proudly brought to you by McDonald's Family Restaurants. Good evening everyone, Greg Pierce at the eyewitness news desk. Premier Richard Court refuses to rule out tax increases after WA suffers a $50 million cut at today's Premier's conference. Timber giant Bunnings closes its Northcliffe sawmill blaming the Federal Government's decision to lock forests away from loggers. And the driver of a truck transporting gear from Perth's Rolling Stones concert survives an accident near Kool Gardee. And John, what sort of weather shaping up for the Easter weekend? A bit damp for the start of Easter and not particularly warm but certainly it looks as though it's going to be a fine end. As far as tomorrow goes, absolutely delightful. It will be warm, partly cloudy and those humid northeasterly winds followed by an afternoon sea breeze range from 16 up to a very pleasant 30 degree maximum. Thanks John. More news in our later edition but next on 10, Brady Mania, a very Brady special. Good night. A delicious sundae is still only 95 cents because old fashioned value is nothing new at McDonald's. Could it be true? Is it for real? As home of the friend of Flanders, find out on an All-New Simpsons Wednesday. Good evening. I'm Florence Henderson. In 1969, three events occurred that changed mankind. A man landed on the moon, a half million people gathered at Woodstock, and most importantly, ABC aired the first episode of the Brady Bunch. Mrs. Brady! Come quick, the kids are on television. My kid, yours, his, ours. Come on, please. I'm going to be a beautiful morning and it's going to be a beautiful day. The wheels are humming, the guitars strumming, and the radio is gunning, the good times are coming as I'm flying down the highway in a makeshift model T.A. You know why they didn't tell us about this? Where did they get those costumes? Keep on doing what you gotta do, it's nice! Keep on doing what you gotta do, it's nice! Finally, stop being a happy, happy kid again Shifting on down, coming into town Waking up the kids all hanging around Running down the main innovation market We're gonna keep on, keep on, keep on, keep on Dancing all through the night We're gonna keep on, keep on, keep on Doing it right Here's a story of a lovely lady Who was bringing us three very lovely girls Hey, that is groovy Although Ben and Herald Goal Would like their mother, the youngest one in curls You and those teen-time romance magazines Marcia, if I didn't read this magazine I wouldn't understand life's problems I wish I was old enough to have problems Here's a story of a man named Brady Who was busy bringing three boys to the town Now look fellas Ah, Dada, why can't you understand? Girls on a camping trip is just too far out They were four men living all together Yet they were all alone Baker? There's the chance Who? Oh! Till the one day when the lady met this fellow And they knew it was much for the hush Ho, ho, ho! Wow, you could ride my range anytime And the crew was awesome Good evening and welcome to Brady Mania A very Brady special Hosted by Lawrence Henderson The Brady Bunny That's the way we became the Brady Bunch Look familiar? If you ever watched the Brady Bunch I'm sure it does The Brady Bunch was an amazing show It was on ABC from 1969 to 1974 It never made the top ten Never won an award And then came the reruns It went from a daily habit To a cult classic To what it is today A genuine phenomenon And a permanent part of American life Hi, I'm Greg Brady I'm the Marsha Brady you wanted to see My name's Peter Brady, what's yours? This is Jan Hello, this is Bobby Brady speaking And this is my sister Cynthia People call me Cindy To the successful launch of Project Brady Bunch The Brady Bunch every Friday night, yeah You know the theme song? Yeah, do I have to sing it? Here's the story of a lovely lady who was bringing up the very lovely girl You know you're reading TV Guide for the Brady Bunch Just to see you know tonight's episode Tonight, Mrs. Brady becomes very upset when Jan loses the part in her hair Alice gets locked in a meat locker with Sam And Mr. Brady saves the day And I now pronounce you man and wife A few years ago, I thought it was the end of the world Now it's just the beginning For both of us Uh-uh, for all of us Right, the whole blooming Brady Bunch We'll be right back with the Brady family and how it all began It's an exciting chance to win one of three new board probes This Thursday night on Channel 10 Presented by Forward Australia It's natural It's fresh It's used every day All over France It's Australia's Nutri-Metics How much does it cost during a lawn mowing service that has a pre-call 1-800 number? A pest control company with a pre-call 1-800 number? What about a muffler repair company with a pre-call 1-800 number? So, ringing a plumber with a pre-call 1-800 number would be... Oh, so it's a pre-call whenever it's pre-call 1-800 Hmm, that's a help Welcome to the real world 18,000 students 32 nationalities 6 races 2 races 2 sexes 1 campus Hey, let's see your ID Nah, let us see your ID Permission is power Call security now! What's the matter? No, no, no, no, no! A film by John Singleton Walk like that, talk like that, dress like that, be what you want, I wanna be a sports girl We're out to chicken treat you That's a chicken filet burger plus a coke plus chips for only 4 bucks every day and night at Chicken Tree Chicken Tree 2 with a 4 bucks bone burger meal day Another day It's used all over France It's Australia's new genetics Come on, sweetie Mr. Brady Oh, it's okay, Mr. Bring-A-Lair-With-Us It's one thing that's better than a honeymoon for two, it's a honeymoon for eight You mean a honeymoon for nine, Mommy You mean a honeymoon for ten Eleven Tiger Eleven Don't forget Alice, that makes twelve The Brady Bunch premiered in 1969 at a time when the divorce rate was climbing and the cozy two-parent world of Ozzy and Harriet was fading The Bradys were a merged family, the first on TV Mike Brady and Carol Martin gathered their six kids and started over The result? Happiness in a second family, a family that worked What was a typical day at the Brady's life? Here it is, speeded up a bit And as usual, it starts with that old refrain Hi, honey, I'm home Hi One, two, tell me who are you? The Bears Four, tell me who's gonna score the Bears Good, huh? Boy, honey, this coffee is great Hey, are you in a good mood tonight? Yeah Crank on a bottom turn, get out on the front of the board Yeah, yeah, that's good You're locked in, there's a huge roll of water hanging right over your head But look out, Bobby, it's a wipeout, here comes the wave The Bradys Alice, what do you call this? Paradise, remember? The Bradys took the TV parents of the 1950s and gave them an injection of youth and a new set of clothes There was no generation gap in the Brady family Mike and Carol were their kids' best friends, always present, always supportive You won't find such perfect parents on TV anymore It's not the problems that have changed, it's how parents react Hi, Dad Hi Say, I hear you've been talking about buying a car Yeah, I figured why it should be inconvenient, you and Mom always borrowing yours That's very considerate of you Is this the one you have in mind? Look, I've been saving $109 Hey, you have been adding to it, that's good Okay, but I want you to promise me one thing Before you buy a car, you let me look at it Sure, Dad How'd you manage to save all that? It wasn't easy, I had to give up a lot of the necessities of life Like what? Peaches and french fries and girls Girls? Well, mostly peaches and french fries Mom, a boy from high school asked me to go to the pizza parlor Ooh, a high school boy, aren't we growing up? Before you know it, it'll be college boy This one's just a high school boy, can I go? Well, I think it'll be okay, but we would like to meet him first I told him to come on over, if he can go, great He's like free throws in the wastebasket We better not, Mom will get mad Of course she won't, nobody's home I'll set it up again Save Pete Brady intercepts and goes for a shot Oh no Mom's favorite vase He always says, don't play ball in the house I'll be grounded Hey, Alex Oh What are you doing, Dad? I know you could break something Come on, Alex, what are you worried about? We got the house to ourselves, just the guys Let me see that arm Good talk, son Ah, sorry, Dad No, no, no, it was my fault, I should have doled for it Going steady is one thing, but wearing false eyelashes is out Parents just don't understand our generation Marcia, I understand it better than you think Well, I've already lived through your generation But things have changed since you were my age Only times have changed, sweetheart, people haven't Marcia was the oldest of the Brady girls and she was a dream Every girl in America wanted to be her and every boy wanted to date her She was the most successful teenager in the history of dating I just got asked for a date at Pete's apartment But what's such a big deal by a high school boy? You're kidding No, she's coming by after dinner Your first high school date Thank you for letting me take you home Thank you for helping me with the sign Can I see you again? Sure Great I'll keep in touch Jim, he did it He asked me for a date Who did? Dr. Vogel Oh, Marcia, your first older man Oh, I'm so happy for you Hank, did you really come to the prom? Well, there is one little problem What? Well, I don't have a date Do you know a girl that would like to go with me? Do I? Well I've been made editor of the school newspaper I'm going to be Juliet Oh, Marcia, I'm so glad And your father's going to be so happy You know, he said you are what you think you are So from now on, I'm beautiful and noble I'm Juliet Dad Father, they nominated me I couldn't believe it, but they did They nominated you for what? President of the student body Oh, that's really good What do you hear? I'm running again Oh, whoever it is, it doesn't matter I'm sure that you'll win Your mother's right, no matter who it is, you'll win My all-time favorite Brady episode? Well, there's a bunch No pun intended But one of the very sweetest was the time Marcia faced that universal pre-teen trauma of getting braces I'm ugly Ugly, ugly You only have to wear them for a little while The school dance is in two weeks I don't think I want to go, Mom Alan's going to be very disappointed Well, how do you think Kilfield would have to dance with me all night? I can't take you to the dance Why not? Well, my parents have to go out of town next weekend You're lying You just don't want to be seen with the girl who has braces Like I do now I hate you, Alan Anthony I hate everybody Honey, listen Let me give you some advice Man to woman You're going to tell me that braces won't make any difference to my real friends That's right Did you know that the encyclopedia says that some of history's most beautiful women wore braces in the Middle Ages? Did you know that some of history's most beautiful women wore braces when they were young girls? Did you know that Cleopatra some authorities say wore braces? Cleopatra? Wow Her braces must have been gorgeous Yeah, and they've improved them in the last few thousand years See there, you can put a diamond in there and a big pearl and a big lumpy emerald right in the middle Hi, Alan, how are you? What's new? Nothing much. Alice went up to get Marcia Your daughter should spend a lot of time upstairs That's the way girls are When are you leaving with your parents? We're not going. That's what I came to tell Marcia You mean you are going to take her to the dance? You bet. That's what I wanted to tell her Did you hear that, Marcia? Yeah. Why are you going to take me to the dance? Gee, Marcia That's a silly question Tell me, Alan. I want to know I want to take you to the dance because I like you Marcia You act real crazy sometimes but you're still the grooviest looking girl in the whole school Thanks, Alan Will you go with me? I'm so happy I could cry Again? I flew over the hannifars on my bike You know, I knocked all my teeth out I've got to wear these things until the roots get strong again Next, the Brady's has trendsetters of the 70s Check shirt and stretch capri pants, $49.95 each Plaid shirt and denim skirt, $49.95 each Angora knit and wool wrap skirt, $39.95 each Cord jacket, $79.95 and portman's pretty love jeans One stock's last Time, time It's a precious commodity when you're running a small business At Telecom, we are constantly creating new cost-effective ways to help you get the most out of every second Products and services that can help you in ways you've never imagined Ways that can make your business more competitive and more profitable If you'd like to know more, just ring this number Telecom Australia? Now, how can we help you? Oh, my God For him, you have slept your last peaceful night, Magrera She would give her soul I have to tell you For her, we will have him soon enough He would give his life I will think of you dead until my husband makes you so United Artists Pictures presents Liam Neeson and 1994 Academy Award winner Jessica Land Rob Roy commences April 13th Check newspapers for details To protect you from nicks and cuts New Chic Silk Effects has silky fine wires For the safest, silkiest shave Try new Chic Silk Effects Treadshirt, $39.95 Denim skirt, $39.95 12-stock line Keep the hook Hey! Look, it's Britt! Oh, wow! Oh, my God, please How come you're wearing sunglasses? Sunglasses? Shades! Well, it is quite an outfit We're the ones that need the sunglasses The Brady's were definitely a product of their time That nightmare of style and taste known as the 1970s We were a California fashion dream Parents who dressed like their kids And kids who dressed like pop stars It was eye-dazzling Music Mike Brady made a particular fashion statement all his own Permed hair Poor dad Over the years, his hair changed more times than his wardrobe All the Brady men have perms That way our hair doesn't get in our eyes when we're fixing our bikes If you still don't think the Brady's were hip, well, just listen to the way we talked How did your group do at the dance tonight? It was kind of a kicky blast You guys really got us together and well I bet they gig out of shape Nice Got it all together and really wailed? Really bent the gig out of shape I wonder if that's good or bad It's funny, kids have a language all their own I think she's real groovy I mean, Marcia's really a very groovy girl Well, you know she's groovy, I know she's groovy Obviously, you think she's a really groovy chick A high-class girl A high-school boy really thinks I'm groovy? A lot of people think you're groovy I don't even think you're groovy Hey, that is groovy He's out of time Oh, he's with it all right It's way out, but not too far He is far out Far out Too much Right on, man Ciao The Brady kids not only dressed and talked like budding pop stars They soon were budding pop stars Well, it all started very simply They got together in the second year of the show to sing the theme song and it clicked They soon went from amateur night to teen sensation I went down to TV station KBEX and signed us up for the amateur contest Amateur contest? Every Saturday morning The first prize is $100 $100? But before we can get on the show, we have to audition our act What act? Well, we can sing a little and we can dance a little And Bobby and Cindy can be cute and charming And I think I'll go for a walk outside now Somerton knows we find it He's just calling me I gotta get up, gotta get out, get away Right, get away, get away, get away, get away Into the sunshine Can't you see the sunshine? Yeah, it's starting to rain Can't you hear it calling your name? Oh, I think I'll take a walk every day now The summer's home, show me the way To be happy now, just can't stay inside all day I'd rather get out, give me some of the grace Everybody's smiling, sunshine is there Everybody's laughing, sunshine is there Everybody seems so happy today I think I'll go for a walk outside now The summer's calling my name I hear you now, I just can't stay inside all day I gotta get out, give me some of the grace Everybody's smiling, sunshine is there Everybody's laughing, sunshine is there Everybody seems so happy today Into the sunshine, yeah But of course it wasn't all moving in a groove in Around the Brady's Everyone had problems and Jan, the eternally misunderstood middle child Seemed to have more than her share Why does this always happen to me? Why does what always happen? People are always forgetting who I am I'm always Marsha's younger sister, or Cindy's older sister I'm in the middle, and being in the middle is like being invisible Your sister Marsha was one of the best students I ever had I know what you told me Hi Wow, you got a neat sister You think so? Wow, how'd you ever get a sister like her? Just lucky I guess Well all I hear all day long at school is how great Marsha is at this Or how wonderful Marsha did that Marsha, Marsha, Marsha Jan, if boys don't find you attractive, don't blame it on me Yes, my crummy faith, Greg was right, rotten freckles Poor Jan, she must be the most miserable member of this whole human race I'll tell you what the problem is, you have to wait in line for everything around here Someone's always borrowing your things I never have any privacy because I've got too many brothers and sisters I wish I were an only child There goes your last excuse, isn't the freckles in her dumb old view? Look honey, if you really feel you're in your sister's shadow, do something about it Get out and develop your own talent That's right Jan, some of us are good at one thing and some of us are good at another It's like your father and I always say, find out what you do best and then do your best with it Maybe you're right, but what can I do best? Well, if you keep your eyes open I'll bet you something will present itself Ta da da da da, presenting her royal majesty, the most popular girl in her class, Jan Brady That's great, that's great You really created a sensation yesterday Jan Oh, yeah, my room is still buzzing about it today Oh, thanks Hi Hi, what's the matter with you? Your's is the matter with me What do you mean? They changed my room in school today, I got one of your old teachers So what? She heard about what you did, now all I hear all day is what a great sister I have Jan, Jan, Jan Growing up with the Brady boys when Brady Mania continues Could it be true? Duck! For real? Let's go voting! Has Homer befriended nerdy Ned Flanders? Boatman! At 7.30 it's the mismatch of the century on an all new Simpsons They're at 8 My magic She thought she'd seen it all Watch it, you could pop someone's eye out with those Until she saw too much I just saw Mr. Schaff's nails naked, it was horrible We're bearing all on The Nanny right after The Simpsons, Wednesday on 10 Corn Jacket, 79.95 And Fortman's Tree Love James Wild Dock Flower Give me the drink I'll find ya For him you have slept your last peaceful night, McGregor She would give her soul We will have to tell you for her we will have him soon enough He would give his life I will think of you dead until my husband makes you so United Artists Pictures presents Liam Neeson and 1994 Academy Award winner Jessica Land Rob Roy commences April 13th, check newspapers for details Yardley introduces you Complete Performance Foundation Matte finish, oil free, UV protection and hydrating moisturizers New Complete Performance Foundation by Yardley Mr. Cala-Luri Anthony, you know I was just thinking you're the youngest person that I've ever worked with That's so professional I've been trying Admire them for what they do Play you, be you Do you agree with me? Very cool Mr. Cala-Luri, very cool I learned some things from you The ideas you have a lot of us get to have I think we're going to have a good time tonight Mr. Cala-Luri I think you're right Mr. King You know the chef and I have a little surprise planned for you over there, it's your favorite The garden? Yeah All right Oh Mr. King, very cool We made it I didn't want to find you up here, I'm in big, big trouble Greg, I want to talk to you Yes sir? It's about Raquel Raquel? Never mind, I found out about her, the point is, she's in your room, isn't she? Yes sir Greg, your mother and I have never questioned your right to privacy But I mean this caring thing is a little too far Why did you do that? I figured I could sneak Raquel in last night and get her out without anyone finding out You mean she's been here all night? Yeah, I was stuck, there was no place else I could take her Oh, I am trying very hard to be understanding and I'm losing Okay, Dad, I never should have gotten mixed up with a beast like that Son, that is a dreadful thing to say about a girl no matter what she looks like Girl? Dad, I think we may have a communication gap going here Raquel is a goat In the Brady household, it was a kid-centered world Every plot turned on a kid's problem and there was a kid for every size, shape and gender They weren't earth-shaking problems, you'd get laughed off TV today if you made a whole show about sneaking a goat into your bedroom But at the Brady's, such matters were huge and we took them very seriously Jan, I think you may need glasses Glasses? Mom, no, not glasses Well, Dad, did you ever kiss a girl when you were my age? Yeah, I kind of remember that I did Hey, you guys, oh my God I got fired That mean old Buddy Hinton, he always teases me because I'm this I'd like my own room Your own room? Remember, Dad, we're talking man to man now, not kid to man, man to man, but man to man, man to man Greg was the oldest Brady and the acknowledged team leader He yearned to grow up fast and taste everything life had to offer, like girls Let's check out the smooth-talking Casanova of Clinton Avenue I don't know what a great chick this is, it took me weeks just to get introduced to her Oh, not you, not Greg Brady, the Casanova of Clinton Avenue Hi, doll Hi, thanks for inviting me over Well, I believe in spreading myself around Oh, fantastic These are my, uh, working tricks Are you a surfer? Yeah, yeah Fantastic, well, I should have known with a geek like yours Oh, well, I kind of lift weights to keep in shape Oh, I should try that What for? Your shape doesn't need any improving? No, even, I mean, every guy in school has tried to dig out Santa Monica, so how'd you swing it? Simple, uncharming and irresistible Second only to his interesting girls with a singing career and rock star-ing Hey, as of now, you're solo Oh, you're gonna be a monster, you won't be in the top 20, you'll be the top 20 You don't understand, I'm part of a group No, you don't understand, you're not you anymore I don't follow You are a superstar, you are the new Johnny Bravo Johnny Bravo Johnny Bravo? Johnny Bravo Come on, baby, don't get hung up on an ego trip, I mean, who cares how you sound? Then what do you need me for? Because you fit the suit I don't want a suit Yeah, well, Tammy and Buddy, I'm about to lay a new sound on you What's that, babe? The sound of a guy taking a walk What? Listen close Adios, Johnny Bravo Hey, Johnny, wait a second, Johnny Well, you think this is the end of your singing career? No, this is the end of Johnny Bravo Greg Brady still has a singing career Greg was cool all right, but little brother Bobby, the youngest of the Brady boys, was even cooler at least in his own daydreams For my first fabulous shot, I'll hit the yellow ball, through all the red balls, across the table and into the side pocket Believe it or not, Bobby was the only Brady ever to get a romantic kiss on camera and by a young, vivacious Melissa Sue Anderson, no less Okay, Joe, we've only got time for one more play, and we need six big ones to win This is it, Joe You mean the bomb? The bomb Okay, on two Two Bobby really scored big in the Brady ball, catching the winning touchdown pass from Super Bowl great Joe Namath The kid was unstoppable Hey, Bobby, all right, let's go, Bobby Hey, Bobby, I'm here, all right, let's go, Bobby Hey, hey, hey Middle brother Peter saw himself as the Brady kiss with nothing, no friends, no personality, and no backbone Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the dullest one of all? Let's do a witty, bitty baby talk, say something, come on, say something Cut that off, buddy Baby, baby, what did you say? Quit teasing my sister You want me to quit, then you make me Come on, make me Come on, security cad, make me Well, just stop teasing, that's all Heard all about what happened in school That goon, Buddy Hinton, he's been shooting his mouth off while we're under school He says you're chicken Well, what happened? What'd he say happened? He said you chickened out of a fight I didn't chicken out of any fight I just didn't feel very much like fighting, that's all Oh, Peter Yeah? You don't have to fight Buddy Hinton for me I'm not afraid of this teasing anymore If he starts any trouble, I can handle him Are you sure? Sure I'm sure Thanks You heard me, shut up or fight Okay, if that's the way you want it I'm ready You out for it Don't do that, come on, buddy Go on, get out of here You know, Peter, you're very brave I am? Come on, let's go home Many Brady problems were not with the outside world but inside the home, within the family itself Six kids, two bedrooms, one bath It was a breeding ground for sibling rivalry and some classic Brady moments Give somebody else a chance All I was doing was brushing my teeth Well, how many teeth have you got? A single amount of you But my mouth isn't as big as yours Oh, no It's all yours, your highness Oh, very Jan, Jan, keep this a secret I didn't say a word Did anyone forget it? If I wanted to tell you know who about you know what I would have told you know who myself You told Jan, you told What did I tell? You know what you told I did not, I didn't say a thing Well, not for me she didn't have an open her mouth except a gubble cookie Who do you think I told? You know who and you know what And about you know who Now that we all of her you know where You're a fraud and you nearly ate you Come on Jan, please, I just want to That's your fault It is not, you broke it You made me I did not I don't care I don't care who broke it I told you that it was me The secret to every Brady problem of course Was that it could be solved in 22 minutes That's one of the things that made the Brady's work The always successful Brady solution Listen Baseball is a great game But it's just one part of life There are other things important too I thought you'd be happy if I gave up baseball No, no, no Listen Make it one part of your life For now Greg Not everybody can be a Don Drysdale I wanted to tell you But I was too ashamed Peter That's nothing to be ashamed of Of course not, there's no shame in being fired I've lost jobs You have? Well, practically everybody has at one time or another I feel a lot better right now Good, so do we Really, Bob Nobody said goodbye to me or anything And I didn't think anybody cared Oh sweetheart, everybody cares And I'll bet you your baseball card you can't guess who cares the most You? Even though I'm only a step? Listen The only steps in this house are those The ones that lead up to your bedroom So how about marching right back up there? Well, how come the boys are more important than we are? What? You're always helping them with their games and their homework and everything You spend way more time with them You like them better than us? I'm sorry, girl I should have realized I've been paying some extra attention to Greg and Bobby and Peter because Well, they haven't had a mother for a long time And I want them to feel that I'm just as much their mother as I am yours That we're all one family I love you just as much as ever We love you too, mama Coming up, George Bush, the Fresh Prince, and a stage full of fake Brady All part of the Brady Phenomena His partner has been taken hostage Nobody lives forever His girlfriend has been taken out Just not once for yes and die for no It's a mission Not even 20 unless you want to die That's getting personal Fortune Hunter Thursday These are the hottest charting album CDs in Australia You'd expect to pay $29.95 Not anymore $27.95 $25.95 No way At Archie Martin Box Music Our price for every chart album is now $24.95 That's $5 off The hottest charting albums Our price goes $24.95 Archie Martin Box Music Why would you buy anywhere else? Wow Yardley introduces new Complete Performance Foundation Matte finish, oil-free With UV protection and hydrating moisturizers New Complete Performance Foundation By Yardley Power to feel Power to feel Be what you want Be what you want Walk like that, talk like that, dress like that Be what you want Be what you want Be what you want That's good You need something to keep you going? Then you need Catbury Whip Delightful and likely with Lugar And creamy caramels Love the Catbury Gary Luke Chocolate Get cracking on a whip Stupid, a person below normal intelligence Oh look, fries Porn Jim Carrey Jeff Daniels Dumb and dumber The Brady Bunch never really left the airwaves From reruns to spin-offs to reunions It became a real phenomenon You couldn't kill this family with a stick Look, what I really am is an architect And my family wanted this variety show I didn't want to do it But I love my family So now I'm an entertaining architect Look, I didn't want to do this It's not like rehearsing in the kitchen I know, relax He's very excited We're all very excited Because this is our very first Brady Bunch Variety Hour When it's time to change, you've got to rearrange Who you are and what you're gonna be It's lovely, I knew you'd like it Well, it's not exactly what I had in mind I was thinking of something a little more traditional You know, with a lot of lace and a long train Well this one is more in keeping with the modern flavor Who says the wedding has a modern flavor? And Marcia, this is none of my business But haven't you already talked all this out? Oh well, Philip and I just assumed We'd have a traditional dignified kind of wedding Wally and I see it a whole different way We'd like something with flair and style I refuse to look ridiculous at my own wedding Great, now you're seeing it my way What if, this year, everybody came back for Christmas? Husbands? Why? Yeah, kids, grandkids, everybody What better way to spend our vacation money? All those people in this house at one time? Boy, if I worked here, I'd want a raise Well, just about the time we all thought the Brady Saga was over It happened This squarer than square sitcom became hip In fact, it was more than hip It ceased being a TV show and became a way of life And the last time interest rates were this low The Brady Bunch wasn't even in reruns yet Drag Brady, man, they do not build them like that anymore When I was growing up, this was my favorite show No, it's more than a show, Eileen, it's a way of life The Brady Bunch, every Friday night, yeah You know the theme song? Yeah, that's what I'm singing Here's the story of our village ladies Who are bringing up the very lovely girls All of them in her floe, like their mother The youngest one in the world Here's the story of Danny Brady Who is bringing up the... Oh Who is bringing up the three boys of his own They were all alive, they were all together Said they were all alone It's one thing to be made fun of on late night TV It's another to see yourself come to life, live on the stage The play, The Real Eye Brady Bunch, is the first A TV show turned into a play, word for word I've been up in my room all afternoon working on this surefire hit song But look at the title We Can Make the World a Whole Lot Brighter We can make the world a whole lot brighter We can make the world a whole lot brighter Peter, I don't know how to tell you this, but... I'm afraid your voice is changing We gotta record my song Friday I'll give Mr. Dimmesdale 150 non-returnable dollars I'll just give Mr. Dimmesdale 150 non-returnable dollars Don't worry, Fred, I'm sure my body and my voice will be just swell Easy come, easy go Easy come, easy go The Brady Bunch is American culture I don't know, I used to watch it, I couldn't be taken away from it The Cosmys weren't around, maybe I would have related a little bit more to that But back then, what else was there, really? In this current Brady craze, no Brady is more celebrated than the littlest Brady, Cindy Ah, that's Cindy, the youngest, cutest, bunkiest Brady She stole every scene she was in Me first, why you? Because I'm a lady Aww, I am a lady If you stand not, I'll balk you Oh, pardon me, madam, we were looking for our little daughter Cindy about so high And she had two lovely blonde pony-jugs That Cindy doesn't live here anymore I'm going up a little churn now Oh, I think maybe Yes, I think you better get out of those shoes before you fall and break your neck, huh? I can't skip from eight right to fifteen Alice? Yes? Where's your time again? I got out of this box, have you seen him? Yes I have He's over there Where? Ah, Alice, who wouldn't want an Alice in their life? She was a surrogate everything, homemaker, best friend, favorite aunt, and master of the corny punchline And she never complained, never asked for a raise, never raided a liquor cabinet Unreal? Absolutely But played by the great Andy Davis, she was as real as rain Hup, two, three, four, hup, two, three, four, hup, hup, hup, two, three, four, hup, two, three, four, right face, hup, two, three, four, march Turpentine You know something? I don't think these songs are going to work What songs are those? Well, I think I'm going to be singing for high school kids, I thought I'd sing one of their current hits But these lyrics? Some of their expressions, honestly, I think they're trying to start a new language Well, I wouldn't worry about it, Mrs. Brady, but the songs are the way they are nowadays You can't hear the words well enough to understand that what you would have heard is something you wouldn't have understood anyway Alice's face is my inspiration I see her face in every bowling ball, her figure in every bowling pin Sam, what if I were to find you an instant delivery boy? I'd hug you An outstanding delivery boy? I'd kiss you The greatest delivery boy in the whole world? I'd hire him on the spot Well, it's not too fit when you're ahead Then you sent me the locket I'm the guilty party That was a wonderful thing to do Why didn't you say so? See, I know what it is to be middle, because I'm a middle sister, just like you Did your mother and father love you as much as them? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah It was just that every now and then I got the feeling that I was nothing very special Because I wasn't the oldest and I wasn't the youngest You know what I mean? I know what you mean Even though I never play favorites among you kids From one middle sister to another My favorite aunt gave me that locket for the same reason Oh, Alice, you're just too much, that's all Well, Alice, you've done it again What would I do without you, Nia? We'll be right back with the conclusion of Brady Mania, a very Brady special Desperate situations I'm gonna die Provoke desperate measures It might make sense to put him in the hypothermia now It sounds outrageous, bizarre, obscene You want a court order allowing a child to be frozen? But there's just a chance All you can do with medicine is buy him six months A slim possibility He wants to grow up It could work He'd be suspended in nowhere forever Certain death or the possibility of a life I don't want to lose my son Why can't it just be about that? Picket Fences, Friday We're out to chicken juju That's a chicken filet burger plus a coat plus chips for only four bucks every day and night at Chicken Troll We're out to chicken juju The four-buckles bone is burger mindi I got the three In this week's New Weekly, Helena's sweet revenge on two-timing Michael An exclusive behind the scenes with Elle, Naomi and Claudia in their fashion cafe Hotshots of Hugh stripping while Liz fumes Shock claims how Cindy Crippleby for life Emma's in love, but not with Kenneth And win a fabulous Victoria Cooper wardrobe All in this week's New Weekly, out now Paramount Pictures presents Daddy, there's a Brady in our yard The story of the hippest family of the 70s Hey there, groovy chick Who are living in the 90s We'll be here forever The Brady Bunch movie Hi This way Amazing all the technology they got here at Shillort, okay, Dick, innit? Yep, can't do it without it, Barry That's all right, don't worry, mate, I'm with him Dick Johnson, you know Yeah, I recognize him too So we're under control, then, eh, Dick? Yeah, no worries, Barry These guys are trained to do the job Trained? I thought these computer thingies did it all Barry! I won a free game The Galaxy Entertainment Revolution has begun With two channels of uninterrupted movies Showtime, the premier movie channel And Encore, all your favorites Together with 24-hour sport on PSN And there's more planned Kids documentary, music and entertainment channels All new channels 24 hours a day Right now, or receive your free Galaxy magazine from 1-800-555-111 Galaxy is here Watch for him, Noah Come on, come on I can't believe it's all about the four of us You'll never guess Oh, it looks like airline tickets That's because they are airline tickets Come on, come on, come on Hawaii! Hawaii! We're going to Hawaii! We're going to Hawaii! Oh, do I where? Well, the dream couldn't last forever The Brady Bunch finally ended and we all went our separate ways But the show never left us And to this day, everyone wants to know What made this little show so special? If you travel around the world, as I do You see that it's not just here in the United States It's in other countries as well And the only thing that I can think of is that this show does represent everyone's dream About ten years ago, I guess, I recognized it was going to be there forever And it was going to be bigger than me In fact, I think a lot of times people are recognizing me and they don't know it But they just treat me nicer and trust me The Brady Bunch, as a life experience for me personally Was a good place to be with good friends and good people Cast and crew, and then afterwards the fans This is long before there was a phrase called family values We had it in this show And that was because the kids were real I think that the thing that we have in this show is a sense of hope And I think the sense of hope is something that we all have to have I mean, if we don't have hope, we just die We've got to have some kind of hope, some kind of faith that things are going to get better Or things will turn out right I think we're born with that Do you know what I think about the Brady Bunch? Hey, I'm the mom, I should get the last word To me, it's like your favorite children's book, however simple or sweet You read it as a child and can't wait to pass it on to your own kids Obviously, this unpretentious little TV show has been a big part of my life And as you saw tonight, I'm not alone Is there a moral to all of this? I don't really know, but I bet Mike and Carol Brady do There's an old saying, you can't take a step forward with both feet still on the ground Well, Jan, sometimes when we lose, we win And the Brady never goes back in his promise Money and fame are very important things, but sometimes there are other things that are more important Like people Remember our slogan around here? A wise man forgets his anger Before he lies down to sleep Good night, everyone Wait a minute, you didn't think we'd leave without singing that theme song one more time, did you? You're right, bye Music Music Music Ed! Huh? Ed! Leonard Hi, you need to get dressed, time to go to work Leonard, I don't have to be to work at Maurice's until noon at something, four thirty You're coming to work with me With you? I need to make a house call I thought it would be a good idea for you to come along You want me to go with you to see a patient? That's right, better get a move on It's a bit of a drive, we need to get there before daybreak Leonard, I've never done this sort of thing before Precisely, if you're going to be a healer, it's not enough to read books and learn allegorical stories You need to get your feet wet, get some clinical experience under your belt Leonard, I just don't know if I'm ready for this yet Ed, no one is ever ready Music Music Music You told them you were bringing me? Uh huh And that was okay? Uh huh You're sure they don't mind? Positive Leonard? Arnie? How's that Hoover I rebuilt? Oh, runs like a Tucker Good, this the kid? Yeah, Ed Cigliac, Arnie Norell How do you do sir? Please Sorry to bring you out so early, but morning's your hardest honor That's when they come out They? She'll tell you Bonnie Honey Bonnie Oh, Leonard Hello Bonnie, this is my student Ed Cigliac, uh, Bonnie Norell Hi Hi, I didn't want to bother you but Uncle Arnie insisted It's okay, what seems to be the trouble? Come here Listen, Black Cat Chickadees, they nest in the willows out back All my life I've loved their song but suddenly it's... I can't stand it, my mouth goes dry, I break out into a cold sweat, my stomach cramps up a knot I'd like to wear these Why don't we all have a seat? Sure Let me give you a little history, Ed Bonnie's 21, single, aside from usual childhood illnesses and a green stick fracture to her left fibula, she's enjoyed excellent health Bonnie completed three years undergraduate at the University of Alaska, Fairbanks Systems engineering, she's gifted She dropped out this year to work with her uncle I didn't see the point in finishing, I couldn't get a good job without going to graduate school anyway When did you first notice this reaction to the birds? It was a week ago Monday, I was pulling apocryphal electrolux The chickadees were singing the way they usually do but suddenly it was like someone running their fingernails down a blackboard Any unrelated symptoms, headaches, dizziness? No Your nutrition's good, are you taking a vitamin supplement? Uh huh Ed, why don't you have a look in Bonnie's eyes, maybe something will strike you This isn't a test, there's no right or wrong answer Well? Uh, well they're, they're nice To make it easier to understand, we divide childbirth into three stages There's labor, delivery, delivery of the placenta Now we also divide labor into three stages, there's latent labor, there's active labor, and there's transitional labor Now before the onset of labor, the fetus begins its descent into the pelvis Now some women may feel increasing pressure in this area, as well as in the rectum About this same time, the cervix begins to thin and open As a result, the mucus plug becomes dislodged and is expelled Women may feel intensification of Braxton Hicks contractions as well as a thickening of her vaginal discharge Some women experience loose bowel movements about this stage The most obvious sign of impending labor is the rupture of the membrane Now most of us refer to this as the breaking of the water Um, my girlfriend woke up and her bed was all wet and she like thought that she had wet it But then, like it turned out that her water broke, so you know, how do you tell the difference? Well actually if you smell the sheets, believe it or not, urine smells like ammonia and amniotic fluid is sort of sweet Tasty too, we whip it up in our egg creams Pauling? Sorry, Jo Guys, can we get back to this? We've got a lot of territory to cover here Thanks Okay, um, now most labor begins slowly, there's a gradual building of contractions Um, around this time, the cervix begins to dilate Now Bradley called the...