was thuggery founding fathers all week beginning November 27th on the history chat WCW censored Scott Steiner they reprimanded him they suspended him but they couldn't bring him back to reality now the genetic freak will be unleashed you cannot imagine what will happen until you see it live order WCW mayhem the action is in demand pay-per-view for the demanding viewer you rule welcome to comedy central's battle bots prelude to battle it's the who what where when and why of professional robot fighting inside the impregnable walls of fort mason in san francisco all hell is about to break loose hello everyone and welcome to the preseason preview of comedy central's battle bots i'm sean salsbury and i'm bill Dwyer tonight right here before your very eyes you're going to see real live robots fight to the death there are over 200 robots from all over the world geared up to get it on action speaks louder than words so check this out you love that well that's just a small offering of what you can expect to see on battle bots every week we are committed to restoring your faith in uncensored acts of extreme violence battle bot builders from around the world have made a pilgrimage to the mecca of robot fighting at san francisco california to compete in this year's tournament they wage war in the battle box right here behind us designed by peter lambertson i can tell you from professional experience playing football on artificial surfaces a picnic compared to what happens in there you'll see what i mean after you watch this parking back to the draconian era of gallows and guillotines battle bots found a man with an extreme new vision and punishment meet peter lambertson the builder and operator of the vaunted battle box whose past is shrouded in mystery i'm a retired person springing forth from his tortured mind was an enclosed version of hell where punishment is doled out liberally an escape is nothing but a silly robot date we have 14 weapons that we control from this panel the battle box weapons include ram rods kill saws and ramps known as hell raisers seemingly there's little that peter lambertson can't like to keep pushing it and make the hammer go up and down as quick as i want he seems as friendly as the good humor man but instead of too diverting peter dishes out death he is one evil genius our team of battle bots correspondence will give you the latest breaking news inside stories and analysis of every aspect of robot fighting you want intricate details on the design and construction of killer robots have a little taste of what renowned tv scientist bill nye brings to the table oh yes this is your bad boy pneumatic actuator right here powered by a series wound dc motor using 18 gel cell batteries you know that's always the problem you get a soft isolation system making for a very reliable drive system then you're right back to a high transmissibility ratio h equals i cross omega is called kinetic energy so if you try to turn left two counter rotating blades and twist in that axis especially designed to rotate independently these are the same kind of thing we might use in our stealth bomber is that right i think so whoo spooky also you know her from baywatch it's donna di erico she'll be perking things up on the battle box floor she's in the pit with our competitors yes you know i was noticing you had really good shaft control shaft control what's that accent are you from england yeah i'm from oxford and dominic's from london awesome oh cool i nailed it and our final two team members yes they're brothers that's randy and jason sclar we got two sclars just in case one of them gets killed by a robot hi i'm jason sclar and i'm randy sclar we're correspondents for comedy central's battle bots we are here on melrose avenue in hollywood california with mechadon we've been around the sport for a while now we've talked to the competitors we've done a lot of research i can honestly say without equivocation this robot is amazing so why'd you build it i've always wanted to build something like this i mean it's this big cool machine i want to build something that that kind of fit with what people would imagine when they hear about something like battle bots what would the korean word be for this right robot mechadon is the coolest thing you'll ever see fighting in an arena to the death it's 484 pounds of steel and it's controlled by his joystick are you into machinery i have been known to have some machinery in my life yeah favorite piece of machinery at home right now yes would you rather see robots making love or fighting oh fighting could you tell the difference probably not everything on this mechadon is real and how do you guys feel about that if you saw this coming at you what would you think intelligent life at last in la can i fight it hey sports fans we're out of here back to you guys in the studio you'll be seeing a lot more of randy and jason sclar and mechadon in future competitions right here on battle bots next backlash and disposable hero they rip it up in a preliminary bout when we come back about when we come back what you hear is not a test you're watching comedy centrals thanksgiving cover uh so you want credit for being out there for knowing which way the cyber wind's blowing well here it is the smart visa card from first usa use it online use it off it's the only card you need it has a smart chip inside that makes online shopping faster and easier this chip stores all your personal info passwords addresses everything and sort of flashes it whenever you use the card you're not constantly inputting leaving stuff out in cyberspace it stays in the smart chip on your smart card safe and secure apply now transfer balance and get a super low 1.9 percent apr for six months then you move to a rate that's still real low smart visa gives you a high credit limit five percent cash back savings any merchants like these and no annual fee listen smart chip technology it's getting smarter every day there's even cooler stuff coming and you can upgrade your card from home so if you want what's next first get the smart visa card from first usa today new episodes of the man show starts sunday december 3rd at 10 only on comedy central welcome back the fight's gonna start in just a moment but first here's how it works this is a single elimination tournament that means the winners advance to the next round and guess what losers go home a fight lasts three minutes unless there's a knockout three box-side judges award a point each for aggression strategy and damage inflicted the robots are separated into four weight categories there's light weights middle weights heavy weights and the big boys the super heavy weights bill i know you spent a lot of time with the robots checking out their weaknesses and their strengths what have you been spying on me yes i have yeah i have and here are some of the hot bots to watch first up in the lightweight class is mouser mecha catbot this hot pink pop topper loves to play with its opponents before devouring them another lightweight hopeful my personal favorite is backlash built like a deep dish pizza cutter this radio-controlled renegade won't stop after just one slice jumping up to the middle weight spin orbiting forces speed mobility and a saw blade that can attack from a galaxy of positions also in the middle weight division is a unique walking robot pressure drop his titanium pickaxe leaves opponents dead in their tracks among the heavyweight hopefuls is tas bot whose actuated lifting arm will drag your ass to the kill saw sooner than you can say danger will robinson the odds makers favor heavyweight vlad the impaler he's got a low center of gravity and a fork lift that tosses opponents around like dirty laundry and finally in the extra husky department also known as the super heavyweights beware of do-all and it's custom-built pneumatic ramrod getting poked and prodded to death is not a pleasant way to go those are the robots i'm betting on sean where's your money going okay partner so you got a couple of strong robots but i got some dark horses that i guarantee you're going to make an impression well the sturdy super heavyweight grendel is definitely underrated it has a powerful spike that can pierce both metal and bulletproof lexan beat that heavyweight mauler is literally a giant can of extra chunky whoop ass stay away at all cost my favorite middleweight ankle biter is a powerful wedge robot whose nasty saw blade will chew you up and spit you out and then there's that lightweight ziggo who has spinning blades that reach devastatingly high rpms get close and say good night forever there's no shortage of robots that claim to be the best but that's exactly why we fight the fight yeah we're going to see what kind of fight your lightweight favorite has in it right now it's backlash against disposable hero what can you tell us well backlash has a vertical spinning wheel for a weapon it's built by jim smetkowski who incidentally works for george lucas and lives in nearby novato california his opponent is disposable hero armed with a forklift designed for spearing and flipping it was built by phil putman and he's based out of houston texas it's a flipper against a spinner let's get down to our ring announcer mott bierow with the formal introduction contest introducing the principals first in the red square to my left weighing in at 58 pounds and from the creative mind of jim smetkowski under the assistance of team nightmare o'cox doug evans chris herd and carl swenson they hail from novato california introducing the backlash we got a lot of people this morning sure does and from the creative mind of phil putman he is assisted by team member heather putman and hails from houston texas introducing disposable hero red driver are you ready red driver is ready blue driver are you ready blue driver is ready the lights are on remember it's three minutes for a knockout four before the robots becomes incapacitated that'll finalize this you see those are called hell raisers ramps they can be deployed at any time along with ram rods and kill saws in the ring and our master right there in the battle box will pull them out at any time they've got to elude those and you see right now backlash the spinning wheel on the aggressive the spinning wheel of death did i call it or what not wasting any time that's why you don't put band-aids on to hold the machine together backlash dominates on the offensive oh he just got him in the rear end oh he tore off the forklift on him john we're going to see a little bit of recycling there this one looks older i'm seeing wires on the floor i think i'm going to be sick oh unlike the nfl that's a victory there finally for excessive celebration fast furious and quick backlash is going to move on there it is buzzer signaling the end of the fights that buzzer does signal the end the crowd already entertained let's take a look at these replays and see exactly how backlash dominated this bout yeah backlash look he gets him he got him once right there right ripping off that forklift like a chicken wing then he takes his antenna and speed controller off and then his remote control right there useless there's nothing disposable hero can do except be disposable ladies and gentlemen well we know the outcome but let's make it formal get down to the battle box in the red square by knockout backlash an extremely impressive quick win for backlash but he'll face more convincing opponents in the future bill tell me about the battle stats backlash won the slams for zip and jabs won nothing and then backlash took disposable hero to the hazards that's the kill saws and the ramrods twice good warm up for backlash let's get down to Donna Dierko and she's with the loser are you regretting now naming it the disposable hero? I think I was correct because it was a good choice well maybe you didn't need this part anyway you're right it's the appendix of robots well here you go better luck next time okay I'm with the winner Jim and backlash you really kicked some butt out there I did about what I thought I would do as long as it was running good I figured it was going to throw some pieces now what about the victory dance? you just got to show off to the crowd to make sure everybody knows that this is the one to cheer for there's some showmanship I'm here with Jim thank you very much great job Matt congratulations well there's our first awesome fight in the books we've got another great exhibition fight it's tentamushi versus salad right after this break remember Wednesday August 30th is the official kickoff of the battle box season you know him as the wild and crazy guy a father of the bride and the jerk I felt I really had something to say with comedy but this roller skating banjo playing spastic dancing genius changed the face of comedy forever every comedian is political it's all about anger and I thought that's going to be over soon and I'm going to be right there and I'm going to be silly Comedy Central takes a serious look at a comic genius Steve Martin seriously funny premieres Thursday at 10pm only on Comedy Central there's nothing like being funny in 1951 Toyota introduced the Land Cruiser today we have the most extensive lineup of sport utility vehicles in America for families and individuals mountain tops as well as soccer fields and like the original all of them are designed to get you there and back hurry into the buy one get one half off sale today at Foot Locker come and get it thinking about buying a dish well this is what can happen when it rains this is what can happen when it snows this is what can happen when the wind blows too hard sometimes this is what can happen for what seems like no reason at all get the picture? satellite TV isn't all it's dished up to be WCW censored Scott Steiner they reprimanded him they suspended him but they couldn't bring him back to reality now the genetic freak will be unleashed you cannot imagine what will happen until you see it live order WCW mayhem the action is in demand pay per view for the demanding viewer you rule welcome back to BattleBots if you're just joining us you have a lot of catching up to do you know the robots get all the glory and attention but obviously they would be nothing without the people who build them these guys come from all walks of life Mechadon's Marks Attracking is a movie monster maker SLAMS builder Steve and Lowell Nelson actually used to be tractor pole champions Corey Klein with Ramstein is really a rocket scientist and then there's Mahler's Tilford family they scare me well it sounds like BattleBots is just a boys club but it's not a builder in our next fight, get this, is a 14 year old girl we spent some time with her in her hometown of Monona, Wisconsin Ah, the suburbs a peaceful respite from the turmoil of urban life this is Mike Winter's house he lives here with his wife and their daughter Lisa Mike likes to put her around in his basement Mike's daughter Lisa is learning Japanese and plays the violin when they have the chance they all like to play together like on this typical Sunday Sunday, Sunday, exciting robot action, see Tentenese killer ladybug versus the deadly vortex known as the spin orbiting pole I work on my robot downstairs in the basement with my dad you go down there, turn on a bunch of lice, drink a bunch of cokes and eat a bunch of fudge and M&Ms and then work on the robot all night my robot is cute but then deadly so it captures the robot but then grinds it up I want to build robots my whole life I think actually pulling her out of school and having her make robots full time could be a very good experiment get the ball sometimes I wonder why people sort of avoid me at the grocery store I love building robots, it's really fun weeee I'm so excited for the winter, reminding us that the family that slays together stays together I am pumped because this next fight is going to be a good one it's Tentemushi going against Salad Bill, tell me about the match well we all know about Tentemushi now let's see how this lethal ladybug matches up against her opponent Salad has a hidden actuated lifting arm to drag opponents to the hazards or right itself if it gets flipped it was built by Dallas Gekker and comes from Concord, California it's about to start, let's go to my funeral introducing first in the red square to my left weighing in at 98 pounds created by Dallas Gekker and assisted by Mandy Gekker from Concord, California here is Salad sleek and low to the ground Billy yeah like any good salad and in the blue square making a debut in the tournament weighing in at 58 pounds and under the creative genius of Lisa Winter assisted by Becky Winter from Madison, Wisconsin here is Tentemushi I kind of like the ladybug look don't be fooled, cosmetic that's a lethal ladybug those big eyes watch out Salad, the crowd is ready locked and loaded let's set the rules again before we get going remember three minutes or a knockdown which ever comes first and if the robot is incapacitated the fight is over that's our 14 year old the lights are on, it's robot fighting time it should always be robot fighting time it's Tentemushi who looks like a ladybug against Salad he's gonna eat that salad he is, look at that he's tossed it, take a look at that now Ladybug rams himself into the wall remember Tentemushi operated by a 14 year old girl from Wisconsin and the word on her is she is a great driver waiter, there's a ladybug on my salad I couldn't resist take a look at this though that's a coverage, look at that what is that on call Bill? that's an actuated lifting arm Sean and you're allowed to only really lift somebody or keep them disposed for 30 seconds and then you have to let go and go can't clutch longer than 30 seconds you see the Killsaws Tentemushi wants to cover up Salad and then shove him over into one of the Killsaws or any of the other hazards and we have our master of the battle box who deploys those Killsaws, those ram rods the reason we've got Plexiglas surrounding the battle box is that parts go flying we cannot injure or endanger our battle bot audience both of these battle bots are lightweight so slamming them around is probably not going to do much there you see the Killsaw go nice Salad was tossed about three feet exactly, see what was I telling you? keeping our audience safe and killing robots the crowd is going crazy remember three minutes or to leave capacitation and it looks like this one is going to go the distance the crowd waits in anticipation there you see Salad's operator the battle bot nice Killsaw nice ram by the lady bug which is Tentemushi and there's the end of the battle that's it this fight is over take a look at the replay Tentemushi tries to smother Salad this is an intricate fight and then he gets away this is more of a driving fight Sean but Tentemushi a lot of smothering ladies and gentlemen the judges at ArenaSide has scored a 7-2 decision for the blue square Tentemushi let's check the battle stats no slams from either robot more of a finesse fight Sean Tentemushi got in more jabs, 7-4 there were Todd and Hazard damage Bug wins Bug wins, let's get down to the battle box floor I'm here with Dallas you fought a valiant fight you lost to a girl, that's okay we don't care we're proud of you for showing up tell me what was going on out there she's a good driver she has a big robot and it can squeeze right over top of you I had a little more power I could move her around but it still looked like she had control it's tough going up against a crowd favorite right? she beat me last year too we've got a parting gift for you it's some pickled okra because the bittersweet taste of victory and competing you're a great competitor you're a good sport nice to meet you, Dallas good luck to you okay, thank you what was your strategy? I just wanted to capture him and see if I could get him over the spinning blades or grind him with my own grinder did it make you mad when I think it was your antennas got knocked off? no, they're just for decoration so it was just cosmetic? yeah, not a big deal I'm so happy for you, congratulations Lisa Winter and Tentemushi are moving on and we'll be right back with important details about the official start of the Battle Bot Tournament The Battle Bot Tournament Thanksgiving Fest, Nerd Sunday, tomorrow starting at noon only on Comedy Central get modern rock on two CDs or two cassettes for just $12.99 plus, order with your credit card and get this free bonus album featuring fine young cannibals that's three albums for just $12.99 then audition other modern rock albums, there's no minimum to buy, satisfaction guaranteed modern rock is not in stores so, order with your credit card and get three albums for just $12.99 call 1-800-370-6655 to order modern rock for $12.99 for two CDs or two cassettes plus $3.99 shipping and handling use your credit card and receive a free bonus album, that's 1-800-370-6655 or send check of money order to Modern Rock, Department 7, Richmond, Virginia 23280 don't miss it, Wednesday, August 30th, the official kickoff of the Battle Bot season when it comes to designing robots, most builders follow the adage, kiss keep it simple, stupid well that's what that means professional robot builders Dan Danick and Tony Bucciani told us how simple it really is first, figure out what you want to do to your opponent flip them, cut them, smash them, slice them, whatever then, find the metals you need figure out the mechanics you need to put it together mathematics, motors, linear actuators, build your control system do you need H-bridges, relays, micro switches with servo motors find your batteries, nycads, gel cells, gas engines maybe you want to go with hydraulics then build your base, steel, aluminum, titanium, plastic find some wheels, put some bearings on there needle bearings, roller bearings, tapered roller bearings brass bearings, bushings put it on the ground, it works get to the event on time after taking in the preliminary fights and getting just a glimpse of some of the behind the scenes action you may be wondering why these people do what they do sure, there's a thrill of victory and the undeniable pride in thoroughly kicking someone else's ass not to mention the prize money yeah, but there's something even more valuable that nut is the motivating force that compels every Battle Bot builder to spend countless hours in the garage forsaking their family and friends to pursue a dream of domination in the world of robotic combat well, we'll be back with the official start of the Battle Bot tournament first round action begins with Zigo versus Missing Link Baller versus Nightmare Overkill versus Frenzy well, until next time, I'm Sean Salisbury and I'm Bill Dwyer, good night