We found a red light in the
weather service.
We found a red light in the
coast to coast to make you
smile.
A real light look at each of
you.
You can't steer all that
bad.
You're the red, white and
blue.
The fun and things you do.
America, America,
I love you.
Stories from your friends
next door.
they never told you might be a star tonight so let that camera roll
you're the red, white and new
from all the fun and things you do
America, America, this is you
Ladies and gentlemen, Bob Saget.
Thank you. Hello and welcome to America's Funniest Home Videos.
Now, it's no secret that our show is doing really well and I want you to know that it hasn't gone to our heads.
Now, let's get started with some pretty funny tapes of some problems around the house.
I'm not talking about that motorcycle gang next door.
I'm gonna forget what happened yesterday. Yesterday, oh what a day.
The boss yelled at me, my wife was mad at me, the dog bit me and I lost a bundle in the stock market.
But today, today's a brand new day.
I am turning my life around and starting today, things are gonna be a lot different.
This is the home video version of the shower scene from Psycho.
They've decided to do it as a comedy.
She feels quite secure behind that one millimeter of plastic.
Oh, look out, it's curtains for her.
Oh, look out, it's curtains for her. What? Did you say look out for the window? Why?
Okay kids, now come on, she's cleaning the toilet. Let's go scare the cleanser out of her.
Surprise!
Now, this is not just a video cassette. It's the reason we're on the air.
If it weren't for this little piece of plastic, you wouldn't be sending in your tapes.
I wouldn't be hosting this show and my daughter wouldn't have a new swing set.
Now, what exactly is this? Well, I have taken the liberty of loosening this little flap.
Now, this is not something you should do at home, but inside this cassette is perhaps your...
Oh, look, it's your cousin Howard's new baby, Rebecca.
Oh, look, it's Allison and Ira's wedding in Philadelphia.
Oh, everybody was there. Oh, look at this, it's your neurotic dog, Ralphie.
He thinks he's a human. Boy, can't believe he's doing his taxes.
Oh, look at all these wonderful moments. Oh, is this fun. I love tape.
Oh, here's a personal favorite of mine. Oh, this is great.
Can we zoom in on this? This is a very young singer who's kind of a Frank Sinatra Jr., Jr., Jr., Jr., Jr., Jr.
New York, New York, I want to wake up in a city that never sleeps, and find I'm A number one, top of the list, king of the hills, A number one.
East Middletown, or a milky way, I'm gonna make a brand new start of it, in old New York.
And if I can make it there, I'm gonna make it anywhere.
It's up to you, New York, New York, New York.
Oh my, how did they get that baby to lip sync? I have no idea, do you?
You know, you can't do a food segment without a good recipe, and do we have a good recipe for you?
Actually, no, but here's the best we can do with the ingredients at hand.
And if you think I'm gonna do some bad impression of a French chef, you are right, mon ami.
First, apply the chocolat to the whole vase. Hey, hey, you missed a spot.
Next, add just a splash of milk. Remember, just a splash.
A little spaghetti helps give a continental flavor.
Encore.
A few scoops of ice cream.
A couple of lemon drops.
Finally, mix thoroughly until exhausted.
Now, this recipe serves 48 hungry people, and here they are celebrating the birthday of a blindfolded man, not him.
The blindfolded man is named Jim Kiss.
Now, remember the name Jim Kiss, because it is important to my joke.
And here is my joke. Jim Kiss is about to get it in the kisser.
From an anthropological point of view, Americans are much more than just hunters and gatherers.
They're also clumsy, and that is why we love them.
This piece is dedicated to America's amateur cameramen, who many times have nowhere to run.
Hi, Dad!
Are you okay, Daddy?
Nowhere to run to, baby. Nowhere to hide. Nowhere to run to, baby. Nowhere to hide.
There's no love I'm running from. It's the heartbreak I know will come. If I know you don't look for me. But you can come and part with me.
Nowhere to run to, baby. Nowhere to hide. Nowhere to hide. Nowhere to hide. Nowhere to hide. Nowhere to hide.
You okay?
No way, because the worst is yet to come.
If you think you've got noisy neighbors, how'd you like to live next door to this guy?
America, America, thank you.
You make me feel. You make me feel. You make me feel like a natural woman. You make me feel.
This entire commercial was shot and edited on a very advanced piece of home video equipment, the RCA Pro-Edit Capcorder.
It holds in your hands the most comprehensive set of recording and editing capabilities ever assembled in one Capcorder.
Then again, you probably can see that for yourself with the RCA Pro-Edit.
RCA number one with the toughest critics in the world.
Funniest home videos. Act two, scene one. Bob smiles and says, welcome back.
Well, here's something interesting. Man is 70% water. The other 30% is attitude.
Well, you're going to fall in love with these people if they fall on 70% of themselves.
Ah, look at that guy. He's incredibly brave on top of that wet balloon.
Well, where do you see him at the bottom of that wet balloon?
All right. Daddy, your camera won't get wet. You just slide down the slide like this and land on the air mattress like that.
Okay, no problem. I just slide down the slide like this and the camera won't get wet.
And I'll just slide right on the air mattress and the camera won't get wet.
I'm slipping. I'm sliding with the hedge. I'm colliding.
Synchronized swimming is one of the most beautiful sports in the world.
It's elegant, it's artistic, and it's not to be found anywhere on this next clip.
David and John Benak of Dunkirk, New York are doing their version of synchronized swimming.
This is the first time they've done it with water in the pool.
Look at that form. Look at those suits. Embarrassed? Doesn't look it.
And there they go. They're down. Oh, no, there's something floating in the pool.
That's going to cost them some points. And now they're doing the Buddha position, or they're praying.
Here's a double armpit extension. Oh, a turn. In front. A question. They have a question.
No, it's whiplash. Here's the Buddha again. And now a double swami.
Wouldn't this be a great fit on Saturday Night Live?
They're going to lose points on the lack of synchronization here, but they're coming back strong.
They're turning. Very smooth. And now it looks like, yes, it's a double Heimlich turn pivot.
Oh, no, they went for the double turn, but it's only a single. The big finish.
Now it's time for some tapes of home construction and destruction,
starting with this home wrecker who's devised a new way to knock down walls.
First the windup, then the release.
This is the smallest wrecking ball I've ever seen.
If you're wondering what you're watching, you're not alone.
Okay, I got this side of the wall. Oh, this prefab stuff, it's pretty easy.
Harry, you grab the other side while I slide this wall in place. Just be sure it doesn't fall over.
Harry? Harry, where are you?
I'm in the truck.
Harry, Harry, yo, Harry, Harry, yo, uh, Harry, uh, Harry, please get out of the truck. Hi, Harry.
For you people who can't figure this out, this is Brent Mayer of Charlotte, North Carolina,
and he's not icing a giant cake from the inside. No, he's spray painting his ceiling, and not very well.
You're about to see the unusual finale of a children's school production. It's adorable, it's precious.
Oh, I just got to chill.
At this recital in Cleveland, Ohio, all the girls are dressed as poodles.
Now keep your eye on Kelsey Jones and Allison James. The poodle banter's on the far right.
Maybe they're Siamese poodles joined at the tail. Is this too cute or what?
Mommy, would you stop laughing and unhook us?
Now don't move a hair. I want to remember you just the way you are, because this is more than just a TV show.
That's a relationship, and I'm a cheap date.
To compete for our weekly $10,000 prize and the $100,000 grand prize,
send your tapes to America's Funniest Home Videos, Post Office Box 4333, Hollywood, California 90078.
Enclose a $2 handling fee if you want your tapes returned. For more information, write this address.
Not responsible for misdirected tapes. To be eligible for our contest, videos must be exclusive to America's Funniest Home Videos.
To make our deadline, mail your tapes in now.
If you like great magic, you'll like this kid anyway, when America's Funniest Home Videos continues.