These women don't trust their men.
I call him at work, and his boss lies for him.
Do you have a cheater on you?
No.
Never.
So you don't mind if we had a hidden camera in that car? We'd like to roll the footage now.
Today, the truth is out.
You bust it now. You bust it.
I never touched it.
Sex, Fies and Cheating Hearts on the next Gordon Elliott.
Monday at 9 and 3.
Tell me.
No.
I don't see what the big deal is. I told you I kissed Prissy McQuarter.
I didn't say I kissed anybody, Peeves. But if it'll get you to shut up, fine. Believe whatever you want.
Just don't go telling nobody, because you don't know what you're talking about.
Don't worry. I'm not going to tell anybody, because I don't think you really kissed her.
Fine.
Fine.
Because if you did really kiss her, you'd bust a gut wanting to tell me.
Whatever you want to believe, Peeves.
McKinney, it's not like it's anything to be ashamed of.
That you ain't been kissed yet.
Shouldn't we be checking on Hawkeye's dead guy?
I ain't going to tell you something, Peeves, but you gotta swear you ain't going to tell another living, breathing soul.
Shut up!
I ain't done yet. And if you do, I get to cut off your toes.
I promise.
Swear it.
I swear it.
As of yesterday, I am a man of the world.
You are?
Yes.
What does that mean?
It means what me and Dolly McKissack were doing was more than just a kiss.
What else did you do?
I didn't do anything.
You didn't do anything?
I didn't do anything.
What else did you do? Did she let you hold her hand?
Well, if she did, I don't remember.
Think bigger.
Bigger?
Uh-huh.
How big?
The biggest.
Uh-uh.
I swear.
You just met her.
I just met her.
I don't see what you're so glad about.
I wouldn't want to marry someone I just met.
Marry her?
I ain't going to marry her.
You have to.
Says who?
Says because you besmirched her.
And that says that you love her and you want her for a wife.
Oh, it doesn't.
Yes, it does.
No, it doesn't.
Yes, it does.
And where are you going to live now, huh?
You got to build her a cabin.
Captain Fields?
Captain Fields?
Have you located my brother-in-law, Carl Sykes?
Um, please forgive me.
I did.
I fear the news is not good.
Corporal Sykes is one of those missing from a patrol that was ambushed three days ago.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Corporal Sykes is one of those missing from a patrol that was ambushed three days ago.
As soon as I have an available man, I will do my best to find out.
But that may not be until the tournament are overturned.
I'm afraid that is all I can offer you at present.
Well, can you give me any idea how long it might take to know more on his status?
One thing I've learned about this war, Mr. Sykes, it defies prediction.
It happened again?
Last night at the Delaware camp.
He tried to shoot you?
I believe his intention was to carve me a new air passage.
Is she all right?
She just found out that her brethren was missing.
I'll speak to her.
On the morning of my husband's funeral, two gentlemen from the bank paid Charles's wife and me a call.
I thought they'd come to offer condolences.
But in fact, they'd come to inform us that in the absence of a man running the family business,
they were going to foreclose on the loans and confiscate all properties as collateral.
Nice people.
That's why it's imperative that Charles return at once.
I'll make some inquiries.
If he's alive, I'll find him.
I can't ask you to do that.
You have enough to worry about.
You didn't ask?
You haven't changed, Nathaniel.
You are still far too noble.
I see you recall.
I recall nothing.
Well, I do.
I believe your exact words were,
No, thank you, ma'am.
Lasers was I mad.
I would take it as a comfort into my old age if you would at least tell me you were tempted.
Be comforted in your old age, Huma.
Hawkeye!
Where are you going?
Water my horse.
Oh, Peeve can do it.
Peeve, get Eagle with some water.
What are you going to do?
I'm going to stand here and wait for you and talk to Hawkeye, if you've got a second.
Yes.
Is it something we can talk about in the trading post where it's a little warmer?
Not exactly.
Hawkeye, she didn't know very much about females.
No?
Me neither.
Maybe I got a problem and maybe I don't.
Except I think I probably do.
All right.
If you took advantage of an unschooled female, would you be obliged to offer marriage?
Well, what do you think would be the right thing to do?
I think I both know the answers that an honorable fellow would announce his and the girl's engagement and get one of those special licenses.
If I even knew where to get one.
Colonel Monroe probably.
All right.
Good to know.
What would you do?
I imagine I would try and follow the scripture book, which says there's a natural order about these things.
Which isn't the order that you went in, but that's me.
And this is not an issue about what I would do.
It's an issue of what you would do.
I want to be an honorable man.
Have a seat.
A man's honor is no trivial matter.
But, well, the straight truth of it, Hawkeye, is I always envisioned that when I make an offer to marry, you'd be to a virgin.
I thought you said she was on the school.
Well, she was.
But she's not now.
It's just something I always wanted.
I see.
And love doesn't enter into this.
Of course I love her.
It doesn't mean I want to spend the rest of my life with her.
Just tell me what you would do if you were me.
It's not a decision that I would have to live with.
I guess I should have known there'd be a reckoning.
There always is.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
What did you do, Hawkeye?
I wish I knew.
Did you see the second shooter?
No, my eyes were on this one.
What does this say?
The French have placed a bounty on your head.
On what charges?
The formal charge is a murder.
Two-time willful demolition of a garrison property of King Louis XV.
What does that mean?
Blowing up their fort.
Obliteration of the Great Cannon and the kidnapping of General Philippe Chasseur-Bressard
and other wrongful acts of war.
It is signed by Colonel Gérard Montand.
How much does it say I'm worth?
400 livres for proof you've been killed and 600 if someone brings you in alive.
At least you're worth more alive.
So they can enjoy him before they kill him.
I smoke, though when I travel it's not on the itinerary.
That's okay.
I've got wriggly spearmint gum.
It's got a cool, clean taste that can go with me anywhere.
So when I can't smoke, I pack plenty of pure chewing satisfaction.
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Thank you for watching.