Welcome to Roadshow Home Video. Before the movie, we'd like to show you previews of some of our films.
Imagine what would happen if every desire, every urge, every passion,
blocked deep inside all of us, suddenly exploded.
Never forget.
What did you say, Margaret?
The madness inside us all.
Welcome to the world of heavenly bodies.
A world that pulsates to the rhythm of rock and romance.
A world where body language speaks louder than words.
A big health club has just bought your building out from under you.
What health club?
Jack Pearson's Sporting Life. They're giving you 30 days to clear out.
Jack Pearson's Sporting Life is closing down Heavenly Body.
If it was a business decision, it would make a terrific parking lot.
I'm challenging you to a competition. The best in your club against the best in our club.
Ready? Go! One, two, three.
For every dreamer, for every fighter, for every lover, for every body.
This is the shape of things to come. Heavenly bodies.
No!
They tell you about the hound, lad of the manor.
I heard about that, yeah.
You hear that? He heard about it.
I've done more than heard about it. I've seen it.
There are many things in the mower that are not what they seem.
All deceptive and dangerous.
And if you had any sense you wouldn't stay here another night. You'd pack your bags and go.
You always greet newcomers like that?
For God's sake, Sir Henry, leave this dreadful place.
Hey, wait.
But what does it all mean, of all this?
It means murder, Watson.
Cold-blooded, refined, deliberate murder.
Nobody is safe from the man from Hong Kong.
Listen, there's a Chinese cop in town. He's beginning to annoy me.
Yeah, I think he should meet with a slight accident.
Jimmy Wong Yew is the man from Hong Kong.
George Lazenby is Jack Wilton.
Gun-runner? Dope peddler.
Ruthless czar of international evil.
Hey, don't give me any shit.
Provoke him at your peril.
I want that lunatic stopped.
Nothing stands in his way.
For long.
Nobody's safe.
From the man from Hong Kong.
For more movie previews, keep watching after the end of this film.
On the fifth floor, there is no escape.
Kelly? Kelly?
Where am I?
Fifth floor. Psycho city. Paranoid, schizies, manic depressive, sociopaths, psychopaths, catatonic.
No refunds or returns on brain damage merchandise. Watch.
Go step, please.
Mr. Goldfinger is here as never.
I'll do anything you want, Niall.
Anything you want, please.
Are you patient, Niall?
A new patient has joined our group. Kelly. Kelly, would you like to introduce yourself?
Okay, but I'm getting out the day after tomorrow.
So why don't you leave now?
You know, I can't help but think that this whole thing, you wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for our fight.
Hey, you don't think I tried to commit suicide?
I don't know what to think.
No, I didn't. Listen, somebody tried to kill me. Have you gone to the police? What have they said?
I talk to them every day, and they want to know who would want to poison you and why.
That guy. That guy almost raped me.
You gotta get me out of here, Ron.
When you reach the fifth floor, there's no escape. Nobody believes a psycho. The fifth floor.
Someone sinister is loose in France. Someone mysterious. Someone with powerful friends.
Someone with weak kidneys. Someone daring enough to steal a priceless national treasure.
Someone ruthless enough to do anything to keep it. Anything from assault to battery.
I have a key that might even work that.
It's a case worthy of a Sherlock Holmes, a Charlie Chan, an Inspector Clouseau.
Unfortunately, the case is closed.
Charlie Chan, an Inspector Clouseau. Unfortunately, all that's available is the defective detective.
Taxi!
Jerry Lewis is...
the defective detective.
An American cop on vacation in France.
He's fearless.
Hold it!
He's clever.
He's neat.
And he's hot on the trail of an international gang of thieves.
Jerry Lewis, the defective detective.
Run for your life, because all the courage of man and all the wisdom of science is helpless to halt their march to conquer the world.
Empire of the Ants.
For they shall inherit the earth sooner than you think.
For they shall inherit the earth sooner than you think. H.G. Wells, Empire of the Ants.
It looks like those policemen don't think that we mean business.
Well, we just got to show them we do.
Sweethearts, it looks like they just don't care a damn about you.
Well, I'm going to have to show them a sad bitter.
Stop!
Bitch, let go!
Stop!
Let go, you're seeing bitch!
They're gone!
We did it!
We did it, boys!
We did it!
Yeah!
We got them!
Yeah!
We did it! We did it, boys! We did it!
Woo-hoo!
Yeah!
Woo-hoo!
We're gonna get some more love!
We are!
Your partner loves her son
She loved him every one
And she raised him all to be a mother's child
Welcome to Bleeding Heart Orphanage
What the hell are you doing in that tent?
Drink your milk, kiddies
It's good for you
The Bleeding Heart child represents a very special challenge to today's modern parents
Don't get up
All set?
We got one
Who are you?
This is your new little brother
Before you go to our checking account
We've got a rescue
How?
You're broke
Ah!
We are the wild ones
We're still together
We got a place to stay, babe
There for looking back, so don't try to tame us
Cause we got a long, long history
Did I hear cheering?
This feeling from the edge
All we want to do is shake
This feeling from the edge
All we want to do is shake
Oh, yeah
A little bit too tough
They're busting out
They'll break you up
Oh, you kids are wild
Honest
On our own little planet
That's better
In the beginning, like all men, they were born
But from then on, all similarities ended
Cheech and Chong are the Corsican brothers
I'm your brother, Luis
You're lying
My brother wasn't Mexican
Look, it's me
Twins so close, they actually had each other's feelings
So that even when they fought, they truly felt for each other
Okay, okay, okay, they'll believe that
Yeah, together, they're a new kind of team
The kind that will do anything for love
Oh, you got my nose
And I didn't even see it
Who do your hair?
For beauty
That's what I'm going to fix it
You give me a kiss?
For animals?
It's a trisexual
A trisexual
Try anything, mud, chickens, anything
For excitement
And last but not least, for each other
It's hard being the queen
I know what you mean
Especially in these pants
Cheech and Chong are the Corsican brothers
I'm your brother