Can the stock market survive a nuclear holocaust?
Yes, says our next guest.
And he'll tell us what stocks to buy and what to sell in the event of a thermonuclear exchange
right after these messages.
Jack Issel, bright-eyed business graduate, is about to face his first day in the corporate
jungle.
Welcome aboard.
Thank you, sir.
I know your father.
Great senator, great American, outstanding human being.
Well, he's managed to stay out of jail, and we're real proud about that, sir.
He's joining the fortunate 500 who run the world's most irrational multinational.
Twenty years ago, I came to this town.
I had less than $43 million in my pocket.
The entire power of a multinational corporation pounding under the hood, nothing like it.
Nothing in the world.
So you think your executive materials are?
I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it, I got a bonus going here.
I got a hold, I got a hold, I got a 35 lines going here.
Your wife's on five from the hospital.
Her college is passed away.
Tell me where to hold.
Your mechanic's on six.
He wants to talk to you about your Mercedes.
Hey, how you doing?
It's all right.
How are you?
Yeah.
So close to you.
Why, no, I'm great.
You got it.
You got it.
They're great.
You gotta be crazy to maintain your sanity up here.
IAC Defense Industries proudly presents
their new line of small arms for what could be a very, very hot summer
in Central America.
Now here's Johnny.
Welcome to Head Office.
Zip this up for me.
Yes, ma'am.
The story of a company man and the company he keeps.
You're keeping this apartment.
I will not let big business play with people's lives like this.
Your coffee, sir.
You'll need some cream and sugar.
No, I wouldn't exactly call what Mr. Grock is doing right now.
He's being busy.
Well, then what happened?
He's dead.
He's dead.
No!
No!
No!
I'm going to kill you!
No, I can't hold!
Starring Judge Reinho from Beverly Hills Cop, Rick Moranis from Ghostbusters, and Jane Seymour
from England.
Don King, Don Novello, and Jane Seymour.
Penny Albert, Wallace Shawn, Danny DeVito, and Jane Seymour.
Head Office.
You guys are killing me up here.
I'm dying here.
I'm dying!
I love this business.
Take one John Cleese.
Where do you think you're going, Clint, to the Guinness Book of Records?
Add one Puntillius Headmaster.
I am going to the University of Norwich in the fair county of Norfolk.
Right, Norwich.
On time, sir.
On time, sir.
On the left.
Right.
Blend thoroughly.
This is the train to Norwich.
Plymouth.
Plymouth?
That was Norwich on the left.
And you've one sure recipe for disaster.
Taxi!
I just pulled the wing away from the wheel.
They're vandalising those homes again.
He's showing off his muscles and she's egging him off.
Straight up.
Left, left, left.
Our chairman, Mr Stimson, is here.
Um, uh.
Pardon me, sir, uh.
Somebody can't hear here
It was so awful.
You remember, Reno remembers. The whole goddamn town remembers.
Okay, I remember.
Oh, no!
So humiliating and so unforgivable, he'll never live it down.
Jack, get out!
His only hope is to live it over.
Jack, you got no shame at all.
You can't rewrite history.
Why not?
It's an unnatural act.
Jack, there is no such thing as an unnatural act. I should know.
You're gonna replay what game?
Jack, you can't play that game again.
I am throwing down the gauntlet.
I'm sick of games, Jack.
I'm sick of hearing about some ball you dropped.
I'm sick of anything with a ball in it.
We accept the challenge.
Let's fight some football!
You know you look on so good tonight.
I was wondering...
God, what a dance!
God, Jack, God!
You put that there.
Got to, got to, got to, got to satisfy.
Let's kill Baker's man!
Welcome aboard, Reno.
To change history, he is going to have to change the lives of everyone in town.
To fight the flab of 13 years indolence and produce a lean, mean winning machine.
We'll cut him off, it's what's up front.
Offense?
Well, they're probably drawing plays in the dirt.
Eddie is as pebble as you.
Chico, you're the bottle cap.
Man, I thought I was the piece of glass.
You're the twig, God damn it!
Robin Williams.
And Kurt Russell.
Look at all that Tony Vero, Fudo Macho pose.
Yeah, I look great.
Yeah.
The best of times.
I thought I looked so bad last time.
You Catholic?
At the moment.