And welcome to another This Sporting Life. And thanks for joining us on an evening when too much sport will be barely enough.
Later in the program at this very card table we'll be joined by Democrat leader Cheryl Curnow.
And Roy and I are going to wrestle a couple of issues to death with Cheryl to confront this very, very great ageing nation of ours.
But first, let's get a big man on the leap simply by dangling the blood red meat in front of his eyes and asking, rampaging Roy Slaven, what was the highlight of your week?
Thank you very much, ACNORSON. A couple of things both related to golf.
Firstly, the great white shark, our Greg Norman, is back as the Saco weeping date finger number one golf player in the world.
He's Australian, he's the great white shark and that's fabulous news.
The other is that that other golfing Australian, that is Roger McKay, has won the Chimichi Crowns Classic in Japan.
His eighth Japanese PGA Tour victory. And I thought, hello, I'm going to open up the paper today and the back page will just be alive with Roger McKay.
What do we get? Roger McKay. McKay all the way. This tiny little grab here.
I would have, well it disappoints me. I just thought it was worth more than that. So a high and a low.
Yes indeed. And Roy, for about the past 15 years on this sporting life we wanted to discuss cheer squads and what they mean to sport.
Now during the week an issue was highlighted concerning netball. That's right, netball and cheer squads.
And the cheer squad in question, Heaven's Legends. Now unfortunately the Heaven's Legends, the netball cheer squad for the Adelaide Contacts,
were rubbed out and shown the sideline due to the fact that officialdom has run amuck again in the ranks of netball.
But Roy, we've got some footage of the Heaven's Legends in action. Let's go to that now I think.
Yes, well have a look at the Legends work. I don't think there's anything offensive about it.
All you see is a cheer squad which is male not female. And you've got the blokes here who I think are very exciting.
They even do that hip hop street gear that we'll see here in a moment. Oh here it comes. Oh look at that.
Now that is class. Compare it with the more, here they are, sideline, not allowed to perform anymore because people find it offensive.
I say this is on the borderline of offensiveness. This is, and look at this, this is the stuff you get in New Zealand.
Look at that. Cowgirls in New Zealand and here we have the Swanettes. No class as far as I'm concerned at all.
I've always felt that cheerleaders by and large should augment the game.
I believe in the Burt Newton principle that a little bit of old fashioned variety doesn't hurt in sport.
That's what I've always felt. And even with the Lithgow Shamrocks we have the sizzling blue lewd Shamettes.
And they added a tremendous amount HG Nelson to the game because they're young kiddies who have a theatrical bent who want to express their love of sport.
The same with the Heavens Legends. I see nothing wrong with it at all. More power to them.
And what I loved about the Shamettes were, they were obviously sponsored by the local butchers and every so often one of the Shamettes would go down and the ambulance men had run along and pull out a couple of kilos of snags and the crowd had erupted and there'd be rubble everywhere.
And then there was a lot of that gear of being able to be involved in the play as well as the play was happening, as the try was being scored in the rugby league.
And it does disappoint me that the Heavens Legends who are all tremendous people, they're all so fit, have been rubbed out and sidelined in this most cruel and callous manner.
And I believe that officialdom in sport, especially when it comes to cheer squad in this nation, should have a good heart, look at yourself, should go in the room of mirrors and stay in there for a long, long time, my slavery.
Listen, before we go back, can we just check to see if camera one's working? Can we just go to camera one?
Just for a little bit, let's have a look.
Oh, it does work! Because I was confused there for a little while. We'll be back, will we?
We're going to our street first.
Good.
Here we are in Bronte Road, your street, and we've got a terrific family group up here just having spent the best part of a few hours at the beach, at Bronte Beach.
Oh, they're all fit, aren't they?
That's the first thing that strikes you about them is they're fit, they're very, very fit, and they look to me as they... there's a bit of a blue on.
The men got in and they don't want to sit in the back, obviously, they wanted to sit somewhere else. Green shirt, that is Gloria Green, fitting with the back door there just a little bit.
She's debating where she's going to sit, and the kiddie, he probably wants to drive.
More!
More! How many people are going to get in that van? Now they've shoot off one, they've shoot off just shorts up there, Mr. Shorts. He's left his shirt down the beach.
Hello, he's going to sit in the front. What about Graham? Shouldn't Graham be in the front?
Or maybe they're debating as to whether they'll go or not. They might decide they might stay or go back or have a bite to eat or something like that.
But there is a pretty lively discussion going on as to who... what they need is someone to take charge!
Go on, let me off you go. Come sort him out! That's...
A bloody well might.
Our street.
Hence, yours.
Hang on, I'll have a look at it.
Go and sort him out, Roy. You've got plenty of room there.
Yeah, it's alright.
How far is he going to get here?
Who's going to sit where?
I've seen him do this before in India. I've never seen him do it in Australia.
Yes, and we have been inundated back chat, Timmy Bowden style, and thanks very much Tim for all the good work on our behalf.
With mail concerning our street, and the first cab off the rank, our streetwise for 1994, Roy Slaven is...
Yes, we do have someone who's been in touch with us. Here they are. Here are these kiddies here. It's Lisa Jones and Chris Mathias.
And they were spotted, you might recall, I think they were buying a glory box, an antique glory box in High Street Fremantle.
If we can just rehearse, recall that moment.
Refresh the memory here.
Here they are, coming out with the glory box, as we mentioned, and isn't it good that they've got in contact with us, and I think they are the first winners.
Not that they got in early enough to win the...
The Brock Commodore.
The Brock Commodore, no.
The 747 that was surplus to requirement in Seattle.
They're going to get both an attractive prize from the This Sporting Life team, and thanks very much to those terrific people there.
Lisa and Chris.
Lisa and Chris for contacting us concerning our street.
And I think Lisa might be from England, just visiting.
So what a bonus, what stories Lisa's going to tell when she gets back home.
It's tremendous, and obviously other people have contacted us with a rule to being notified that they appeared in our street, and we'll be bringing you those in the next week.
In the meantime, we'll be back with more life after this.
When you finish with the lawn, Siro, don't forget to clean the car.
When you've got it all, have Siro come round and clean the car.
Scott Fisher here.
Remember me?
I'm a wild cat.
Where I come from, they never heard of Tim Fisher, Ann Sanders, or the Brock Commodore.
The only thing we've heard of from down under is New South Wales rugby league cheese.
On this Sporting Life, let's clean ourselves up, cross our knees, mutter our mantras, and join the masters of travel, Roy and HG, on Our Australia.
Hello and welcome to Our Australia.
Here we are at Norman Lindsay's place.
Now, over the years, over the time together in this Sporting Life, we haven't had a chance to go to artistes' house that often, but we've come up to Norman Lindsay today for a number of reasons.
Firstly, obviously the Blake love working blue.
Roy and myself don't like working blue that much.
If you are at all worried about blue things, turn off now.
If you're offended by what happens in the next few minutes, you've only got yourselves to blame.
Now, Roy, you've loved Norman's gear for many, many years.
What's going through the artist's mind here?
Yes, it was a very troubled sort of bloke was Norman Lindsay.
Often his self-portraits show him as a hunchback with the weight of the world on his shoulders.
I think the weight of the world in Norman's sense was a couple of things.
I think he did have trouble with the lewd sort of work.
And if we have a look around here, we'll see the sort of Norman character here portrayed as the satyr on the pinch going for the go ante wallopator, i.e. the right buttock in this inst.
Beautiful bit of work and he's got a bit of a tail there which is suggestive of more lewd gear.
If we have a look over at the wet one, there's a bit of wet stuff over here.
He liked working wet.
Here you've got a lot of people under a horse with, again, a nude blowing out the water out the top.
Roy, the person on the horse does a ring...
It's evocative, isn't it?
Yes, very evocative.
Who would you say was like in the modern era?
Elm, Elm the person.
Ah, yes, of course.
Elm portrayed the person on the horse in the film Sirens, which I think we'll get a chance to have a look at very, very shortly.
But we should have a look at some other lewdy work of Norman while we're here.
I think so.
If we come over this way, we'll see a bit more.
Remember, if you don't like it lewd, turn off.
Well, we've brought you down this end of the garden, ladies and gentlemen, in our Australia, because behind us here, the backdrop behind us here, is Norman Lindsay's studio, i.e. where he got very hands-on with everybody.
Including himself.
And we've stood in front of these three of a kind here, three of a kind here, done in your cement.
And I've got two criticisms about Norman Lindsay's gear.
I believe, and I think I'm the first in art history to say that, this and that, is that he concentrated very much on the upper body.
When you look at the knees here, knees are hopeless.
When you look at the legs there, they're hopeless.
Poorly realised, poorly finished off.
No definition, no articulation of what a knee looks like.
Look at your own knees for a moment now, and quickly have a grok of those.
However, upstairs, obviously, everybody built very, very fine in Norman Lindsay's world, and obviously loved it, grins all round.
And here again, we have your half-woman, half-goat, on the job with a couple of other two of a kind.
Troy, it's a trippy bit of work.
Yeah, I don't often disagree, but in this instance, I will.
And I remember having a bit of an argument with Robert Hughes not so long back, who took this position, exact position you have done, HG.
This, to me, is Norman's three sisters.
This is the way Norman saw them, as erotic, aroused, perhaps spiritually diseased, a little bit too close for people of the same sex, perhaps.
I don't know, but we'll remember, we're looking through the eyes of a person who was existing in the 1920s.
This is the way he saw it in the 1920s.
I like it, I find it most evocative, and I could stand here for hours, but we won't.
We should move on. Let's have a look at the pool.
I think what Norman was doing with the pool is interesting.
Because Norman loved wet air.
But going back there, you know, the knees, I mean, you couldn't, if you were selling that bit of work on the knees, you wouldn't sell it.
This Sporting Life now asks you to walk a mile in the shoes of a special Asian.
And tonight on Walk a Mile in Our Shoes, we're joined by, let's face it, a person who has an enormous record, a lot of runs on the board, not only in the cricket caper, but in the parliamentary caper.
We welcome Democrat Leader Cheryl Curnow. Thanks very much Cheryl for coming in.
Now obviously it's a bit of a Dorothy Dixie to start with concerning duds in Parliament.
We hear there are a lot of duds in Parliament. No one watches this show.
Only three of us here so you can spill your beans, visa be duds.
I think they're all wonderful. Hard working, hard working, earning every cent of that tax payers money.
Nobody's snoozing on the back benches.
I don't mind them snoozing.
Nobody boozing either.
No right. Now obviously the tabloid press would have you believe that a number of them are at each other's throats all the time.
Obviously this isn't the truth. Obviously they'd be worn out wrecks if they kept it up as the various tabloid papers might have you believe.
You know, do they get on? Do the Labour Party and the Liberal Party, you know, can they get around a golf together without ruining it by, you know, yelling and shouting at each other over the score and so on?
I'm a bit confused because I think deep down they do hate each other a fair bit.
Up in the parliamentary dining room, the Labour Party sit down one end, Liberal Party, National Party sit down the other end.
Democrats hardly ever go up there because we reckon we need a sort of demilitarised zone in the middle.
But there are personal friendships which cross party lines.
Yes, yes, as it should be.
Cheryl, the visage that you project, you're known as a fair person, very fair, very reasonable.
Do you see yourself as a fair and reasonable person, Cheryl?
I think it's better than a fit and proper person.
Yes, fair and reasonable.
I think it's easy to be seen to be fair because I don't hate them.
They dislike each other pretty intensely, particularly for one hour of the day at Christian time.
I don't bring that baggage. I don't believe that life is black and white.
Everything unions do is bad and everything business does is good or vice versa.
So I guess when they're behaving like that it's a bit easier to stand back and assess.
Then maybe people think I'm being fair. I don't know.
But I tell you what, it earns you a few nicknames along the way.
Yeah, what like?
Goody two shoes.
Goody two shoes. Well, you are a bit of a bloody goody two shoes.
Well, listen, if you are so bloody fair and fair minded,
what is fair about six people representing all of New South Wales and six representing Tasmania,
which has a population of what? Maybe a quarter of a million.
And you've got 20 or six or seven million represented by only six as well in New South Wales.
What is fair about that?
I mean the Senate is based on feather bedding, junkets and unfairness.
I mean, can't you see the philosophical difficulty of your position as a fair person?
I can. First of all, it's 12 senators actually.
Alright, 12.
It makes it doubly, doubly worse.
Yeah, 12.
Yeah, I think it's time we looked at how the Senate represents, how senators represent.
And I think that we should look at regions of equal numbers of people.
But the voting system for the Senate is heaps fairer.
Well, well.
Yes, it is. Yes, it is.
Because if you get 10 percent of the votes, you get 10 percent of the seats.
20 percent of the vote, 20 percent of the seats.
In the House of Representatives, under their system, you can get a million number one votes and get nobody elected.
Because they do their little preference deals.
Yes.
But this bears out your thesis that common sense and politics aren't in the same bed.
Oh, no, they should be.
Well, of course they should be, but they never are in Australia.
No, they just haven't been enough.
Because if you, I guess if you're not in there sparring every question time and trying to get your face on the news,
you know, you're on the risk of being overlooked.
It's double-edged because people want some relief from that.
And I think deep down, judging by the people who jump out and say things to me at airports,
they're actually quite relieved that there's someone who's not a rat bag,
who's actually in a responsible position and who's perceived anyway to weigh up the argument on its merit and come to a decision.
Cheryl, are you pleased that you left the teaching service?
Yes.
I mean, it's people of your very sort that should be in front of kiddies.
Why is that?
Teaching them.
Being reasonable, even-handed, etc., etc., etc.
Why did you leave the department? Why did you leave Elko Chalk behind?
I got sick of the corrections on Sunday night. Now I just read a million papers.
Vis-a-vis that, do you find that it's a difficult sort of life you lead now
inasmuch as you carry the weight of your whole party,
unlike the larger parties where there are a lot of faces that represent it?
Let's face it, you are really the only representative of your party.
In the same way, when Janine was at the helm, Janine was the face of the party.
And Senator Coulter had a difficult time because he was sort of, I don't know, not quite right.
Is it difficult? I mean, wherever you go, you don't have much private life anymore because you are the party.
Absolutely not.
I think one of the funniest things that's happened to me was a very grey day on the Gold Coast
and I was picking a very sort of isolated little spot to swim
and there was just a couple of people swimming and a man getting tossed about in the surf
and he got washed into my feet and then he stood up, washed the sort of water out of his eyes and went,
Senator Curnow! And it was a person who had been a witness at the print inquiry
just a couple of days previously in Sydney. And it's true.
I can't seem to do anything or go anywhere now and I notice it. I feel the same.
But other people are noticing me.
Is it fun?
Sometimes. Sometimes. I must say that with enthusiasm. Yes, it can be fun.
The party after the native title vote went through was fantastic.
It was exhilarating and worth every minute of being there and every minute of the marathon debate.
Was Robert Hill at the party? I imagine he would have been.
No, he wasn't. Robert Hill.
No, funny though.
No, no, no. They were wondering why all those people were clapping in the public gallery still.
Well, on that cheery note, Cheryl, thanks very much for coming in.
Good luck with the budget session. I know you're off to Canberra tonight to open up shop and owing tomorrow
and thanks very much for being part of the life tonight.
By the time I was 20, I'd had 17 really bad pranks.
But since I've had the doll, I've had none.
The little Greg Norman Cardo. Put your loved ones in hands that care.
The hands of a shark.
The Players Theatre presents The World of Ian.
With Paul Suenan as Ian.
Lisa Forrest as Susan.
Cole Joy as Ian's dad.
Greg Matthews as Ian's friend Cole.
Annette Chambour as Susan's friend Deidre.
And Ted Myrie as Bob the neighbor.
I'm not mad with him. He only talks about his fish and how to catch them.
You encouraged him.
Only because I thought it would lead to other things.
But it did. You married him.
No, but I've just gone right off him.
In fact, I'm now in love with Cole.
Ian.
Hi, Deidre.
Hello, Ian.
Where's Cole?
I don't know. Where's Bob?
Guess.
Out in the boat?
Deidre and Bob are not getting on too well.
Well, that's no good.
In fact, she's got an eye for Cole.
What?
Hi, Deidre.
Bob's out in the back yard looking for you.
Is he back?
Apparently.
God, he'll probably come here then.
Can I hide in the bedroom?
Yeah, of course.
No, no.
Hi, everyone.
Seen Dee anywhere?
Nope.
Well, I saw her earlier.
She's in the bedroom, Bob.
Now, sorry, Ian, but I'm not going to become involved in some absurd charade.
If Bob and Deidre have got troubles, they've got to sort them out themselves.
Bob's right, Ian.
Bob, Deidre's in love with Cole.
Hi, everyone.
What's the score?
You look a bit down in the dumps, Bob.
What's the matter?
Run out of bait.
Hi, Tim Zura again.
And I've seen cricket played all over the world.
But what I've only seen here is that island where everybody buffs up for a holiday.
I've never actually been, but it must be wonderful.
You know, just lying there with nothing on?
Nude Island, where doing the rabbit becomes a habit.
Australians, you've sat in the bleachers for long enough,
and now it's time to strap on the boots and blow your trumpets.
Hello, everyone. Welcome to the trumpet spot once again.
And look, I love coming to this spot here in Perth,
and the outskirts are free-mantled for inspiration.
People have to start somewhere, and Alan Bond started on a ladder painting this sign.
I come back here, I draw a lot of strength from the simple Australian motive,
plastered as it is on a flour mill.
Roy, there's so many, many, many times the rain and wind has beaten on this sign.
So many other people have come this way, but Alan Bond remains the one
who I think sums up the history of Perth, the endeavour here, and the sound of the trumpet.
Yeah, it is an inspirational sight, HG, you're quite right.
If you look at the style, it's very naive, dingo flower, marvellous flower it is.
And if you look closely at the sign, Alan's actually left an eye in the dingo.
The dingo sort of looks at you, and as you go past,
you can't help but feel that you're being looked at by Alan's dingo's eye.
The other motifs in the trucks and what have you around the place, the eye isn't there.
It was only Alan who thought of the eye.
And there's a little bit here I'd like to draw your attention to if I might.
See where the front leg joins onto the body, not the leading leg, but the second one in.
There's a slight hiccup in the paintwork there, and I believe that's Alan's little sign.
Little joke.
Little joke, he's laughing at us through the paintwork, on the dingo sign,
vis-a-vis finance, vis-a-vis Perth, vis-a-vis courtroom dramas, vis-a-vis dingo.
It's a tremendous touch.
And if you look closely, there are two tails actually fused together.
It's a two-tail dingo, and I think that's interesting as well.
Beautiful work.
And such a lovely place to play the trumpet.
Coming up next on ABC TV is Clive Hale talking from both ends.
Yes, welcome back to this Sporting Live Fan.
Now it's time to picture this, and last week Roy said an absolute cracker.
Roy, take us through last week's picture this.
Yes, it was as follows.
Pick the odd person out of these four.
A, Henri Lacan, B, Monet, C, Joligoyle, and D, Jim Courier.
And all the correct entries were stacked into this barrel here.
Roy dips his hand in and pulls out a winning entry.
Let's have a look.
Facts, but see, the obvious odd person out is Henri Lacan,
because he is the only left-handed tennis player amongst them absolutely right.
K. Matkovich of Smythton, Tasmania.
Congratulations, coming your way, Roy.
Congratulations, K. That's tremendous work.
And of course the brilliant erratic Auralicon was the answer.
This week, let's have a look at the prize-wise.
There's the hat again, the Roy and HG hat, the pound-for-pound cassette,
everything you need to know about the fight game in that,
plus the date finger shirt.
And remember, the shirts, the bums, the date finger and the Asian romp,
all available as these are from ABC shops around the nation.
Do yourself a favor.
Roy, shout out this week's Picture This.
Yes. Who is the or what is the odd thing out of the following?
A. Sidastin.
B. Sydney Fisher.
C. The Nissan Skyline.
Or D. The Sistine Chapel.
Send your entries to Picture This.
Care of, This Sporty Life, ABC TV, GPO Box,
Triple 9, 4, City 2001, Facts 9503,
Yes, a tremendous prize on offer there, as we mentioned now.
Roy, I believe Asia is laughing at the moment.
And if we stop and listen for a moment, I believe we can hear it laughing
because of this ludicrous decision by the Australian cricket board
to have not only Zimbabwe and England tour next summer,
but to have two Australian teams go round in the UR.
There's Australia and Australia A, two Australian teams.
Now, well, I haven't picked myself up off the floor since the news came through.
People are laughing, people are being stupid about this,
and people are absolutely outraged that cricket in Australia
should have stooped so low as to have Australia and Australia A
challenging the Poms and the Zimbabweans.
Roy, where do you stand on this issue that's dividing this nation apart?
Well, it gets a sort of World Series feel about it, USA style baseball, doesn't it?
It has.
Which worries me.
I think the amount of interest shown by Australians in two Australian teams
battling each other can be well demonstrated.
Have a look at the Sheffield Shields final. I think we've got a bit of footage of it.
And you'll see here a beautiful game it was.
These are both Australian teams, the two finest Australian teams in Australia
as of the end of this season.
And look at the sort of reaction it got from the public.
Look at the crowd there.
The pictures tell a thousand words, don't they?
Yes. You've got to remember that there's more interest in the Ferris wheel.
And obviously heaps of people came down to shake each other's hands.
Heaps of people were all bleeding players.
Gives you an idea of the interest in Australia vs Australia A.
Now the other thing is what happens if Australia A beats Australia?
I mean does Australia A then become Australia and Australia become Australia A?
And what happens if you had an Australia beats Australia?
Oh bugger, why don't I have five sides and call it the Sheffield Shields?
Exactly.
You know, get rid of it.
I mean I've said for years that England should not be allowed to come back to Australia
and play cricket until they've learnt to play the bloody game.
Off you shoot. Thanks very much for inventing the game.
Now leave us alone to get on with it.
And this summer, salt is rubbed into that wound
by simply tossing up them two Australian sides, right?
I like the idea of possible the probable stuff.
Yes, well that's...
Or shirts vs skins.
I'd love to see shirts vs skins going.
Yes, between two Australians.
I wouldn't mind skins upstairs, skins downstairs.
Yes, now you're talking.
I think that could get cut.
Yes.
Then you'd have four or five Australian sides.
Yes, I'd...
You couldn't keep up with the band.
No, that's right, that's right, because people would want to see that.
I'll tell you one thing that would bring people back this summer
and that is let's ban all padding.
Let's get rid of all shoulder pads, thigh pads, flute pads, head pads
and just see fit Australians.